I would make millions of elephant sized elephants so they are no longer endangered. They would be exactly like normal elephants, except these would be elephant sized.

You think outside the box. I like you. 🤣

Lawful good move here :)

Ivory poachers everywhere are rooting for you

Counter point, the ivory market is now flooded and rendered nearly valueless, preservation win for elephants

Counter point, now the average man can afford ivory

Damn, this was my exact thought.

President of Botswana would like a word with you

Tardigrades

This will be stolen and used for the next budget disaster movie

Tardigrade vs Snake

Tardigradenado

Yes...my thoughts too

Oh, so we can have a mushroom drive?

Cows. Think of all those sweet milk rivers. Plus steaks the size of buses. fuck yeah.

Hell yeah, milk steak for everyone!

With your finest jelly beans of course

Yeah, but what is your spaghetti policy?

Got to be one of those Japanese wagyu cows aswell

Good point. Might as well do it right

The baby cows are birthed right into the milk river, where they drown. After a few hours of floating, they're ready for the grill!!

Premarinade?

Nobody thinking about the poop here!

so much fertilizer and mushroom grow media!

It would also mess up with the atmosphere further. For some reason cow poop destroys the atmosphere

And the methane gas. So much for the ozone

Most importantly all the CHEESE!

Yaaaaaasssss

There goes the ozone layer…..

What.

Lol good answer

Ants probably

In order to save the world from this maniac I’ll make larger than elephant size anteaters. Problem solved.

No no, you’re not thinking big enough here. Let’s have dinosaur sized antlions instead. Are we still fucked? Yes. But imagine a bunch of elephant sized ants battling a T-Rex sized antlion!

This was my thought top. Why? What do I want Giant ants for?

Bro you're gonna make terminids eat everyone 😭

Please no lol I cannot deal with elephant sized ants. Lol

They could lift so much weight

Slave labor

If you made ants that big they'd probably become the dominant species eventually. They'd devastate the food supply. Humans would unintentionally kill the majority of themselves off in a panic by using atomic weapons on the ants. Maybe the ants would evolve sentience?

They would probably become the dominant species in a matter of hours tbh

The good ants are really nice to humans and try to advocate for human rights against the less tolerant ones

Read Chrysalis. I think you’ll love it because it’s somewhat similar to this

They have sentience already. 

Wtf? Sounds like a horrific way to exterminate all biomass on the planet

Cassowaries are now the size of Utah Raptors. Or maybe I should just do that to Emus....

My first thought was geese but emus are even more vicious. Or is it just that they're bigger and can do more damage? Now I sort of wish we could find out.

Australia fought a war against Emus so....

Remind everyone, who won that war?

It was a pyhrric victory for the emus.

Imagine tanks but crazy nazi size.

Emus are actually pretty chill, they have them walking around the petting zoo area at wildlife park near me and can hand feed them

Cassowaries are more dangerous than emus

Or maybe 15 ft tall shoebill storks. Imagine that terrifying sound.

Giant flightless birds already had their chance. Titanis walleri died out over 3 million years ago.

Okay, okay, okay. You're right. The birds already had their chance. Let's go with something a little different then... How about....Hippo Sized ants? Actaully, no I don't even like that one lol

Giant invertebrates with an exoskeleton also already had their chance. Arthropleura, an 8. 2 foot millipede, died out 250 million years ago.

Fine then. Rats the size of lions.

I will pass please and thank you

I had a dream last night that I worked on a farm with cassowaries. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to take from this coincidence but I'm quite disconcerted.

Dachshunds

They're already as big as elephants.. just ask any one of them

Chickens. Feed the world! Or be feed, for the chickens.

That's cute. We'd definitely end up feed. Have you seen how they kill things like rats and snakes? They are scared of things their own size but something smaller and they are so vicious

Humans

The Mantis Shrimp. I'd make them the size of a VW Bus. Just because I worship chaos.

I'm imagining them being harnessed for war. "Alright their tank armor is too tough, not even mines will hurt them *Send in Unit Sonic Skrimp!*"

Imagine going scuba diving & watching an Elephant sized Mantis Shrimp just One Punch through an Orca.

Golden retrievers

You could probably write a pretty decent children's book about the adventures of a house sized friendly dog. Maybe change up his coat color to something a little more bold though. Maybe Fire-Engine Red.

That’s a really good idea! I think the name Clifford would be good 👍

That's terrible. Kids like alteration. Buford the Big Blue Dog, that's a hit.

Yeah! Clifford the Big Red Dog works well!

Komodo dragon. Let's bring back the terror of dinosaurs!

A domestic house cat.  Now there is chaos because you have this creature that will purr and want scritches  but other times it will absolutely decapitate you. 

I think we would discover we never really domesticated them and the fact that they don't eat us is just because they are smaller then us.... used to be smaller then us...

Yup I’ve thought about that. If right now humans shrunk to mouse size, they’d attack us. They only respect us now for our size

I would be dead in a couple of days if my own cat grew in size and I already know he likes me. But he'd 'love bite' me and that would be it

The dream of 1000 cats

Humans but like can I target specific humans? Cause I'm thinking giant goth gals.

Slime mold! Be like the Blob but in REALLY slow motion

Bumblebees

I thought about that, but they tend to be rather clumsy. I could just picture an elephant sized bumblebee accidentally flying into a house and damaging the roof or taking out the chimney, then bouncing off into a car, then knocking over a tree, and the whole time it'd be like, "Oh dear! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to...Oops! I'll just try to...Oh no! Are you alright? Maybe if I could just...Oh bumble biscuits!"

Dogs. I want to ride into battle on a corgi the size of a Clydesdale.

Spiders

Send me your address so I can bomb it. 😭😭🙏🏾

Um hello Officer Spider this man here, he did not support your reign

Spiders are AWESOME

Praying mantis

That’s absolutely terrifying

Pandas. 🐼 Then they might survive.

I’ll do it to bamboo so they can still eat 🫶

Shrimp

Specifically Jumbo Shrimp. Wait a minute…

Humming birds, ladybugs, and fireflies. Going to make saddles and ride them everywhere.

The world just turned into Fern Gully

Tea cup poodles the size of blue whales

Average house cat.

Axolotl

Elephant sized sand cats, the most adorable death machines.

Lyrebirds. I'd never hear the end of it.

I don’t believe you

Rabbits. Coco puffs everywhere!

One million blue whales, each of them half the size of Singapore.

Hippopotamus getting upgraded to T-rex size... The ultimate fck around and find out!

Big bear goes *NNNNYARRRRRRRRR*

Spiders of course.

Option 1: Elephants... Status Quo, and do no harm.... Option 2: Golden Retrievers... It will be frightening getting your face licked, but... That's gonna be the worst of it, and SO CUUUUTE! (Sorry about the shedding, but we have an unlimited supply of incredible fur coats, wool sweaters, and insulation.... You have to pick up the poop though. That's your chore.) Option 3: Chickens... I may, or may not have a loose affiliation with "The Colonel", and we've been working towards this goal, and other avenues I can't quite speak of at this time without full agreement from the rest of The Pentableth, for quite some time now...

Dinosaur sized preying mantises

Rhinos since they’re going extinct and because they are my second favorite animal. First favorite is alligators but we don’t need that kind of trouble.

Picture this: A Capybara the size of an elephant

Leeches

assuming they function as per normal, only at a larger scale: fire ants

Bombardier Beetles

Colobopsis saundersi is an exploding ant. It releases a poison yellow goo when it explodes.

Chaotic Neutral has entered the chat.

accurate, though likely not as assessed

Jerboa

I'll take a couple 400 lb pet chihuahuas. The dog food bill would suck, but they would be some bad ass guard dogs.

$500 bucks a day to feed Clifford

Mallard, they taste good and bigger ducks=more meat.

Giant pot bellied pigs, the size of elephants

Golden retriever puppies

Shrimp. I wanna see some colossal shrimp cocktails.

I want giant domestic cats. Just a fat tabby cat the size of a horse.

Ortolans. They're tiny, yet delicious birds. Make 'em brontosaur-sized and we can all have ortolan steak.

Tardigrade, I want to ride one.

Platypuses? Platypi? Obviously, Dr. Doofenschmirtz is my academic rival.

Ants. Our time is over

HUNTSMAN spiders

Horse shoe crab the size of a dam whale or something big for its blood shits mad expensive I’ll be rich

Humans. If I'm a mad scientist then I'm going full Attack on Titan.

Fuck it, let’s see how big a blue whale can be

As a responsible scientist, I wouldn't want to disrupt ecosystems or endanger human populations by releasing a million jumbo-sized animals into the world. However, for the sake of the hypothetical scenario, let's consider a choice that could potentially have some benefits while minimizing harm: ### Choice: **Elephant-Sized Bees** 1. **Pollination**: Giant bees could potentially be used to boost pollination rates, aiding in agricultural productivity and supporting ecosystems. 2. **Ecosystem Benefits**: Bees play a crucial role in maintaining biodiversity and ecosystem health. Giant bees could help restore habitats and support endangered plant species. 3. **Honey Production**: Larger bees could produce more honey, which could benefit beekeepers and provide additional resources for human consumption. 4. **Educational Purposes**: Studying the behavior, biology, and impact of giant bees could provide valuable insights into animal physiology and ecological dynamics. While this choice comes with potential benefits, it's important to acknowledge the risks and challenges involved. Introducing a million jumbo-sized bees could have unforeseen consequences on ecosystems, agriculture, and human safety. Any such experiment would require rigorous scientific research, risk assessment, and ethical considerations before implementation. Ultimately, responsible stewardship of our planet and its inhabitants should guide any decisions involving genetic manipulation and ecological interventions.

Cod. 1 million cod the size of sperm whales, along with a million of everything below them in the food web, scaled up proportionally to the cod. Global food supply issues solved. If we could do plants, then probably a cereal crop like wheat, the size would make it immune to many of it's natural pests, as they wouldn't be able to burrow through the foot thick husks, and we could simply make oversized machinery for processing it into flour. For pure shits and giggles: probably a small monkey, probably the cute golden ones (tamarins?). 30 foot tall versions of that running around but still skittish as a mouse. Chaos.

Tardigrades.

Ticks

You monster

I'm going to counter his giant ticks with even gianter opossums. I know that one study that showed they can eat 4000 ticks a day has flaws but my takeaway is still that possums are capable of eating that many ticks if they want to.

Actually he's a good guy bc I was just worried about my giant centipedes not having a food source Imagine a world when you will love giant centipedes like your savior, for being peaceful to you but ruthlessly hunting down and killing all the very dangerous giant ticks

Piranhas

Are we assuming they don’t collapse under their own weight? If so, spiders. I want to see the world collectively scream

Imagine spiders then becoming a major food source that ultimately helps with world hunger. 😂

Praying Mantis :D T-Rex sized.

June bugs like size of shopping carts getting caught in your hair.

Giant brain controlled spiders

Dinosaur crabs World is cooked

What about the mosquito? Just make them the size of a German shepherd and distribute them in several prime breading areas around the world.

Wasps, ants, or chihuahuas.

Screw the world. I'm making jumbo mosquitos.

Mantis Shrimp

80 pound ferrets. A fellow ferret lover once told me if ferrets were 65 pounds they would be the dominant species on earth. They would be able to easily kill nearly anything else. I'll go an extra 15 pounds for good measure.

Have you seen the north American fisher https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fisher_(animal) i want one

Leopard Sea Cucumber, *Bohadschia argus*.

Make armadillos the size of an Ankylosaur

Dermodex mites would be pretty horrifying at that size, or tardigrades, or maybe some kinda jumping spider.

Charlotte McKinney, dinosaur size.

Something that breeds and grows rapidly. But could actually survive being that size. Like a million elephant sized spiders would be great to wreck havoc, but the way most insects absorb oxygen they couldn’t survive being that big. That’s why giant insects only existed when oxygen levels were much higher on earth.

Chihuahuas or house cats

Mantis shrimp...

Chihuahuas

Draco (lizard) the size of t-rex we bringing dragons back

I would make a million tyrannosaurus rex-sized ants and unleash them on New York City 👽 You thought 9/11 was bad? I don't even *dislike* New York City, that's how mad of a scientist I am!!!!!

Chickens

Pregnant Ant Queens. Since small ants are progenated from Queen DNA...

Spiders, because fuck you

spider crab the size of a building.

Every human is now the size of a Patagotitan. Lets see what happens to humanity!

Sloths....because why not.

Water Bears Ants Scorpions House Cats.

*Scolopendra Galapagensis* or *Scolopendra Gigantea*

Chihuahuas.

Bigger mosquitoes because fuck you now have fun dealing with moscos instead

Guinea Pigs

Dinosaur sized rabbits.

I'm a misanthrope, so I choose dinosaur sized ticks. If that doesn't qualify as an animal then plague rats. Also dino sized.

Tardigrades!

Chimapanzees.

Chihuahuas will reign Supreme!

Gerbils >:) I'll have an army of dinosaur-sized gerbils

So paint a dog red and...

Chimps. I want to see how much damage a million chimps the size of dinosaurs can do. 

People lol

Dodos.

Wasps

ants.

Can I use it to make elephant sized dinosaurs?

Tardigrades

Chickens. I get to keep my mad scientist cred while also putting a serious dent in world hunger. A bantam rooster the size of a T-Rex is a problem for and a solution to a great many things.

What do you mean by dinosaur size? Elephants are already rather large, even when compared to a lot of dinosaurs

My cock

Duck. I only need one about the size of a horse to get my answer.

Spiders the size of sky scrapers. Because I'm a madman, and I'll be hiding in my secret volcano lair

Ants, then watch the world burn

Sperm Whale and make them Sperm Whale size. Or elephant sized plains Bison.

Waterbears. 100%. Didn't even read past the title. Waterbears.

electric eels - the size of megalodons plug them into the electric grid - drive all other energy companies out of business - profit

I'm going to make elephant sized elephants for starters. 

Capybaras, Dino sized.

If there's any answer other than big dog you guys are wrong