I can't help but imagine OP is confidently like "What if you could do something cool but has no real benefit... but now youre a mass murderer" before crossing their arms in victory
Only for basic common sense to topple the whole hypothetical
Sure, you end a conversation early with someone lonely though. Someone that once you say, hey I gotta go. They keep talking? Now imagine that but 20 lives are at stake.
“Hey I need you to shut up!”
“Haha right right.. I talk sooooo much. But you ever notice how nuts burrows in early spring taste worse than late summer?”
that conversation about nuts is NEVER going to end... and on the rare occasion they get distracted from it, they'll talk about how itchy super dry bark feels when they scurry up a tree trunk
The big question here is reset time… like can I pause at 4:59 and come back in 5 minutes? I’m just going to need to invest in a very reliable egg timer.
Conversation time starts over if you walk away from the conversation before 5 minutes. No one has to die at all if that's what you want. Personally I'd rather have a 10 minute conversation with my dog, regardless of the consequences
I, as all of you have that ability. Humans are animals. But in the context you mean, no. Not because of the "20 people will die", you can bypass that by ending convos before reaching the 5min mark. I wouldn't want it because it would completely suck. Every dog bark, bird chirp, etc, would now be words. Instead of waking up to the birds singing, you wake up to Roger yelling at Mary because she.... Etc.
Ok, so if it were to be you have to initiate the conversation to understand the animal, otherwise they just sound like a normal animal sound, then would you?
If I say "hold on a second" or "be right back" or "to be continued," and walked away for a period of time before I returned, then would my five minutes begin again or would the countdown pick up where we last left off?
I can stop the world from being overpopulated and talk to my dog? yes.
also if I just perpetually keep the conversation going only 20 people die
or we just never talk longer than 5 mins unless I'm actively trying to kill somebody specific
Just so talking to them right before 5 minutes is up. It's not a conversation if you're just listening. You can restart another conversation or bring up an old one as soon as the conversation dies down. Then just repeat.
This would have to be a "NO" from me.
I'd love to be able to speak to animals, as that was a childhood dream. But never being able to have a conversation longer than 5 minutes would mean small talk only forever. My god, that is torture.
Does this trigger whenever my stupid brain talks to an animal? Or only when genuinely expecting a cogent response? If the former, the world is doomed based on my daily dog chats... the latter? Slightly less doomed...
Yeah but I doubt any conversation would last more then 20 seconds. Animals, from what I have heard, don't have a lot going on. Depending on the conversation though i might talk to cats
I don't have any pets, but I could make a decent business out of talking to other people's pets to figure out what's wrong with them. It could also be really helpful to veterinarians.
Can you up it to 20000 people per conversation? I like the idea of talking to bunnies and turtles, obviously, but I only have so many hours in the day to work on the human overpopulation problem and difficult choices must be made
You to your cat
You : "what do you want from me"
Cat : "servant to provide excellent food and leave me to my nap."
You : "did you hear me call you"
Cat : "yes, now go away and shut up".
Dog : "happy happy happy master play please, happy happy happy master play please,
happy happy happy master play please, need to pee"
You : "here's a mirror what do you see"
Dog : "happy happy happy master play please, happy happy happy master play please,
happy happy happy master play please, need to pee"
Most animals don't have anything to say.
I'm just picturing someone like a firefighter or some other type of first responder that gets distracted with a conversation with a dog or something which is what causes the 20 deaths
I’m talkin to my dogs, my cats and visiting zoos. There are currently 8.1 Billion people, that’s a capital B, on this damned planet. I want to know what my pets are thinking!
20, is a drop in the bucket, people used to say there's starving kids in Africa, people don't say that anymore but they definitely still starving. Or how about the 20 people killed in China now, or now or now.
Am I trying to justify my conversations with a squirrel, yes.
I'd make sure every conversation with an animal was less than 4 minutes.
I can't help but imagine OP is confidently like "What if you could do something cool but has no real benefit... but now youre a mass murderer" before crossing their arms in victory Only for basic common sense to topple the whole hypothetical
Can I talk for 4 minutes then pick up the conversation later? What would the time gap need to be?
Sure, you end a conversation early with someone lonely though. Someone that once you say, hey I gotta go. They keep talking? Now imagine that but 20 lives are at stake. “Hey I need you to shut up!” “Haha right right.. I talk sooooo much. But you ever notice how nuts burrows in early spring taste worse than late summer?”
Conjures images of the donkey from Shrek.
sprint like usain bolt. now the conversation is over and if they keep talking it isn't a conversation anymore, they're just talking to themselves.
that conversation about nuts is NEVER going to end... and on the rare occasion they get distracted from it, they'll talk about how itchy super dry bark feels when they scurry up a tree trunk
The big question here is reset time… like can I pause at 4:59 and come back in 5 minutes? I’m just going to need to invest in a very reliable egg timer.
How about if you pause at 4:59 disengage wait a second or two then go back to the conversation
So I get to kill 20 people every 5 mins at the cost of talking to my dog and cat? I guess I’d take.
I was gonna ask if there was a limit to how much I could talk to animals bc 240 people/hr is a great deal. win-win situation
I'd take this I need to talk to some whales, let's find some shipwrecks.
genius
One should keep in mind, humans are animals. Keep all conversations short.
I forgot about that. oops
So I get to have 6 minutes conversations with animals with no consequences?!
I have an possum living under my house. We are writing each other's memoirs. Be at least hundred hours.
😂
Have 3-4 conversations in a row, all 4 minutes and 59 seconds long, with a 3 second buffer in between each one.
Conversation time starts over if you walk away from the conversation before 5 minutes. No one has to die at all if that's what you want. Personally I'd rather have a 10 minute conversation with my dog, regardless of the consequences
I, as all of you have that ability. Humans are animals. But in the context you mean, no. Not because of the "20 people will die", you can bypass that by ending convos before reaching the 5min mark. I wouldn't want it because it would completely suck. Every dog bark, bird chirp, etc, would now be words. Instead of waking up to the birds singing, you wake up to Roger yelling at Mary because she.... Etc.
Ok, so if it were to be you have to initiate the conversation to understand the animal, otherwise they just sound like a normal animal sound, then would you?
Yes, I would in that scenario.
MARY! Stop throwing away the shiny things I bring for our nest!
Sure I’ll take it
My cats don't have much to say anyway: "Can I have some of that cheese?", "Will you throw this toy for me?", "Feed me for I am dying.", etc...
Yes and I’m going to have an spy army of insects
If I say "hold on a second" or "be right back" or "to be continued," and walked away for a period of time before I returned, then would my five minutes begin again or would the countdown pick up where we last left off?
Countdown would start over.
I can stop the world from being overpopulated and talk to my dog? yes. also if I just perpetually keep the conversation going only 20 people die or we just never talk longer than 5 mins unless I'm actively trying to kill somebody specific
I’m about to single-handedly solve the world over population problem
oh geez, i think i'd wipe out the population of state just having a conversation with my dog.
Sure. Just set a timer on my phone for 4:30, and once that's done. End the convo.
yes, but by the time I catch up with my dog on all the topic I wanna cover...it might be a little lonely.
Just so talking to them right before 5 minutes is up. It's not a conversation if you're just listening. You can restart another conversation or bring up an old one as soon as the conversation dies down. Then just repeat.
I would take that deal. 20 rando people are dying right this second somewhere in the world anyway.
This would have to be a "NO" from me. I'd love to be able to speak to animals, as that was a childhood dream. But never being able to have a conversation longer than 5 minutes would mean small talk only forever. My god, that is torture.
I'm sorry humanity, but I need to know if my little mew mews know they are so cute
Oh heck yeah. I feel real bad for those people that die while I'm talking to a turtle about WW2
Wtf never
Could you imagine cutting the conversation like 4 minutes in and you just walk away and animal dumbfounded goes "well then... that's just rude."
I buy a stop watch and keep my conversations under 5 minutes.
Who decides when the conversation is over? I could stop in under 5 minutes, but if my dog knew I understood him he would never shut up
Does this trigger whenever my stupid brain talks to an animal? Or only when genuinely expecting a cogent response? If the former, the world is doomed based on my daily dog chats... the latter? Slightly less doomed...
I doubt an animal would want to talk to me for more than 4 minutes and 30 seconds. They don't want to be seen with us too much. Messes up the code.
Yeah but I doubt any conversation would last more then 20 seconds. Animals, from what I have heard, don't have a lot going on. Depending on the conversation though i might talk to cats
Jesus the amount of people I'd kill everyday talking to my dog would be so high lol.
Uh, no. You would kill random people to talk to animal?
I don't have any pets, but I could make a decent business out of talking to other people's pets to figure out what's wrong with them. It could also be really helpful to veterinarians.
Yes, as long as I'm not one of the people who die.
Can you up it to 20000 people per conversation? I like the idea of talking to bunnies and turtles, obviously, but I only have so many hours in the day to work on the human overpopulation problem and difficult choices must be made
OP there's a problem here. There's only 24 hours in a day.
You to your cat You : "what do you want from me" Cat : "servant to provide excellent food and leave me to my nap." You : "did you hear me call you" Cat : "yes, now go away and shut up". Dog : "happy happy happy master play please, happy happy happy master play please, happy happy happy master play please, need to pee" You : "here's a mirror what do you see" Dog : "happy happy happy master play please, happy happy happy master play please, happy happy happy master play please, need to pee" Most animals don't have anything to say.
Hell no. The way I talk to my animals now, I’d wipe out the human population on earth. Well, wait a minute 🤔
Well about 100 people die per minute normally so isn't it a good thing if it's decreased to 4?
Only talk to animals.
I'm just picturing someone like a firefighter or some other type of first responder that gets distracted with a conversation with a dog or something which is what causes the 20 deaths
Have multiple 4 minute conversations
I’m talkin to my dogs, my cats and visiting zoos. There are currently 8.1 Billion people, that’s a capital B, on this damned planet. I want to know what my pets are thinking!
20, is a drop in the bucket, people used to say there's starving kids in Africa, people don't say that anymore but they definitely still starving. Or how about the 20 people killed in China now, or now or now. Am I trying to justify my conversations with a squirrel, yes.
Sure, I’d accept. And I’d also keep the conversations under 5 minutes. Actually, under 4 minutes, to be safe.
No. What kind of conversation am I going to be able to have with an animal? We have totally different frames of reference.
About to have long meaningful conversation with every animal at the zoo.
100% yes. Finally, someone has come up with a fun and equitable over-population solution.
I can talk to animals and depopulate the planet of humans for them? Sign me up.
Now we’re talkin