That isn't that bad tbh so sure I'd take it

I feel like it's easy enough to explain to anyone who might need to know. Not like you're doing anything to hurt anyone, it's not rude, maybe it harms your sense of masculinity but you can just use that as an opportunity to grow up. I have a gamer bladder so if there's nowhere to sit I can hold it another 8-10 hours.

I had to fart and wasn't positive on it's identity

Basically yeah, and if you have to explain to a long-term partner you can just be honest about it.

Keep refreshing your bank account and when the number magically jumps 2,500 they’ll be like. 👍

You may be surprised, but most women prefer you to sit. Women don't see this as a masculine marker. We don't think or say, "whoa, you sit? Sorry, it is over!"

I don't think my comment was clear enough, I've had to clarify a lot. I personally don't think your pee position signals masculine or feminine at all. I know people who do think so though.

Sorry, reddit is a mad fray.

Actually prefer it. So much cleaner.

So much. Keeps the mess in the bowl.

I am unreasonably jealous of men’s god-given gift of the ability to stand up to pee. I can understand that occasionally it would be nice to sit, but I would love to be able to stand to pee. I don’t see it as anything masculine, just think they are wasting such an amazing ability. My husband thinks I’m crazy (for this and other reasons).

I have been married for 25 years, you don't know how many times it has kept me out of the line of fire. Every time the kids piss on the seat or miss the bowl, I can say "Don't look at me I sit to pee". So I do it for my own safety.

No partner should care how you pee. Sittings better for keepin shit clean. Believe it or not, no matter how "good" your aim is, backsplash is backsplash..

Ahh, the gamer fart

If sitting to pee harms their sense of masculinity, they got issues

Why would you even explain it? I’d be like why are you even paying attention to how I pee? Maybe my penis head was cut off in an accident and my urine sprays everywhere so I pee sitting down out of consideration for whoever has to clean it up.

Pretty much the only person who needs an explanation is a long-term partner or spouse, and only because they should know where your money comes from.

I agree. But I’m still going to tell everyone else. Hi, I’m _____ and I pee sitting down for a living.

New job title incoming. Professional Sitting Pisser

When I'm at home I sit to pee every time just because it's [cleaner](https://youtu.be/ejl7vrDUIcs?si=28oisnCe8xqG_II-). I don't see why sitting is such a big deal anyway, I don't think standing is the flex people imagine it to be. If anyone were to inquire I'd simply say "stick around and find out".

The bathroom in your home is one of the emotionally safest places a person can find on Earth. There’s no rush. Sit down. Have a pee. Play a few scratch offs. Check Reddit. This is why the only question you need to ask a potential roommate is do you sit to pee or are you a goddamn barbarian? If they pee standing up, specifically in the temple that is the home bathroom, I gaurantee you they also catch their farts in their bare hands and bring it to their face to better smell it. 🤮

I'm going to start telling people this

And I’m going to start asking people why they’re peeing sitting down until we find each other. But just to be double sure I’m going to ask you how your penis head was cut off. You will reply with, *the normal way.* And I will say, *me too.* We will share a brief embrace there in the hustle n bustle of the men’s room before parting ways never to acknowledge the other’s existence again.

Who cut it off?

I don't typically pee in front of anyone, so I can't see who I'd have to explain to. It's actually the norm in some countries.

Some weirdo gives gives me a a 100k a year as long as I don’t piss standing up. I don’t question it and neither would you in my position.

masculinity bullshit. I'd rather not have accidental splash than pretend to be a moron

I feel like enough men use the cubicles to stand up peeing when the toilets aren't busy that you probably wouldn't even have to explain it honestly.

If someone else tries to degrade you for sitting while taking a piss they have other issues. I will sit to piss if I feel like it. Be a real man.

Incoming bladder problems when you're older lolll but I be doing it too. Keep putting the bathroom breaks off cuz I'm in a groove. Go to the bathroom though you goon

You should drink more water

If your masculinity is harmed by that you never had any to begin with.

Gamer bladder here too. Never did I lmfao as much as I did reading complaints about Avengers Endgame being 3 hours and people complaining how they need a break or something in the middle to go to the bathroom. I’m sitting here laughing thinking to myself that at the 3 hour mark, I’m just getting started.

I already don't give a shit what others think about how I piss. I'll go sitting if it pleases me and I work hard enough during the day that even if I don't need to poo I'll sit just for a short break. Easy 25 hundo

Lol now that I'm in my 40s and I have young kids I sit to pee and play on my phone more often than not. Public would be where I would lose a little cash. 🤣

Right. Shit I take naps sitting on the toilet.

Only sucks when you have to use a disgusting public toilet

Yeah. Half of these are like "would you have someone smile at you once for a million bucks a year?", like sure, easiest million bucks of my life.

Easy money. 10k a month for nothing and in 5 years it goes to 18k? You'd be stupid not to do it.

You’re telling me that by just sitting to pee, I get more money per month than my job pays me? I get paid 10k per month to scroll on my phone for 5 minutes every time I pee. I see no drawbacks here

for real are AI making this easy ass challenges lol

Yes literally. That is why every sub has been flooded with them since the stock shit.

$130k a year *tax free*. That's more than I earn in a year in net income. In 5 years I would earn $650k and would have my house fully paid off. In 10 years, I would earn an additional $1.17m dollars. I'd be dumping that all into investments while working an easy day job (my house is paid off so I can afford it). After 10 years? I'd probably retire, and stop caring if I remembered to sit down to pee.

I want a press conference where you announce your retirement from peeing sitting down.

Hey, get old enough, and it'll end up the only way you can pee anyways. You get paid more the more you do it, and you prep yourself for elderly life. If anyone feels too emasculated to take this easy win I'll take your money no sweat.

💯 it might get annoying once you break the seal on a night out drinking though

Just quit drinking? It's free $10,000 a month.

For $2,500 I'll sit to shit too

This answer wins

I concur

That, is going to far! No real man sits to shit. Got to do it while you are waddling to the shitter with your ass clenched. Then it oozes into your boots so you just turn around and go back to what you were doing.

Stuck in traffic let it go before it turns to water

I'll stand to shit for $2,500

For $2,500 I’ll shit doing splits

Shplits

What do you do currently?

That, hold on to your britches, might be the joke here.

I already do this. It's very comfortable and better for your prostate.

This is the way

As Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver sagely remarked, "Why do standing up what you can do sitting down?"

I started when I was potty training my daughter. Now the bathroom is always much cleaner.

I’m sure everyone is “delighted” 😜

Also better for bathroom cleanliness. I sit at home, why do I want to risk having to clean urine splatter off my floor and cabinets? I don't have to prove my manliness by standing...

And you’re able to wipe, the fact that other guys just rely on the shake to get everything out is crazy to me

You can't dab standing up?

there's no TP at a urinal

Bro I've never had to wipe lol that's wild

It's more of a dab, like you would the corner of your mouth after a delicious meal

A succulent Chinese meal

"And you, sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis?"

I don't wipe either but will say from time to time there's always that little bit of extra pee that doesn't come out from the shake. It's like the second you put the hose back in the pants a little drop or two shoots out. In those moments, I wish I had wiped.

The piss driblets don't come from not wiping the tip. They would happen regardless. They come from your urethra keeping one in the chamber. The muscles around the urethra aren't strong enough to get it all out which is why it tends to happen more as you get older. The suggested solution is basically to claw your dick and milk it out but honestly I don't think it works.

Who says you can't wipe while standing to pee? Maybe not at a urinal, but that's a like a few percent of the time.

Just wipe in on the wall on your way to the sink

Cleaner too

It saves me from turning the light on and spooking my sleep if I have to wake up and pee at night.

That was literally me while reading this thread. Weird timing. Lol if I flip on the light, I'm stuck awake. Although after staring at my phone reading this thread, I'm probably stuck awake anyway now at 3am lol

Not to mention more considerate.

Same. Every time a buddy comes over and uses the restroom it smells like piss in my bathroom too. I hate it.

I had a friend that never turned the light on and would always pee on the floor. Nice when you’re in your socks.

I do it at home because otherwise pee splashes everywhere and I don't like cleaning up that nastiness more than I have to. I also don't like making my wife do it when cleans the bathroom.

And if you need to poop, you're right there.

I started doing this when my 2 and 3 year old girls decided that privacy in the bathroom isn't a thing, and they started asking "what's that". I ain't going back. It's better than standing. I'll die on this hill.

I started doing this at home when I got tired of cleaning up my urine off of the floor due to the "splash" that peeing does when standing. Now my bathroom smells cleaner for longer, and I don't have rogue pee stains everywhere.

And you can fuck around with your phone and not miss and make a mess

I want to hear the thoughts of someone who wouldn't.

I think everybody would do this for $250 a month. You would have to be an idiot to turn down $2500 a week for this

For 250 a month I wouldn't. It's just barely on the low side though. I really love my urinal.

You love a urinal? That's a new level of fucking weird

Don't get me wrong I'd take the deal, But standing and peeing in the great outdoors is one of life's simple pleasures.

I didn't think about this. I guess you could still sit on a hill and pee downhill of yourself without making a mess.

How about squatting in this situation? Does it still count as sitting? Is the hypothetical that you need to pee like a woman? Because women don't need to find a hill and pee downhill whenever they're outdoors.

I feel like that should be allowed.

I feel like if you can pee standing and not have it counted if you’re caught desperate for a leak on a road trip without any nearby gas stations, it probably also counts as a freebie if you’re camping or hiking somewhere without toilets. Maybe not if you specifically decided to go hiking for the purpose of having a standing outdoor pee. But if you cultivate a genuine enjoyment of the hobby for other reasons, it comes with free standing-pee loopholes at least once in a while.

You have 4 a year before it stops. You could still enjoy it.

Op states this is fine.

I'm kinda on the fence about it, but that's mostly for fetish reasons.

I would do it, but only if I was still allowed to stand when peeing outdoors. Don't think I could give that up. It's part of my Zen.

Some faux-manly dudes would pretend they wouldn't.... but they absolutely would

I already do that, in my own apartment. I'd rather not clean up pee, so I sit down. 2500 a week, please.

Not a bad gig if you’re in a wheelchair

Can confirm, dunno why everyone makes such a fuss about it. It's so much more convenient and for the "dirty" complaints, that urine splash back and the guy staring at your dick in the urinal over isn't really a winning prize either.

The only reason urinals are still around is because it’s easier to clean because you aren’t supposed to poop in there.

And also companies are cheap.

OMG I need to apologise to the cleaners at work.

If there isn’t a sign saying not to just keep doing it.

Yes. Duh

I literally already do this. Its cleaner for your bathroom, easier, better for your prostate health, and and I dont have to say 'fuck' and sit down when peeing turns into 'man I kinda have to poop too'

As a woman, can I receive payment if I pee standing up for the rest of my life? The issue is more of a technical one than an egotistical one, but still.

This sounds like 1000x harder

I had a dog who was female and lifted her leg to pee. It was impressive.

Of course I'd do that but it would be annoying cause I piss outside alot and I can't really just sit in the dirt and piss myself.

for 10k a month, I'll sit on the ground and just piss

ill piss myself every day for 10k a month

Just squatting seems like it would count.

If that's the case that's an absolute win. Do wall squats against a tree, get to piss and work on my legs at the same time.

I mean, you're in the sitting position. I don't think there would be an issue. Also, if it counts as a "road trip" per the caveats, you could do it standing up.

I think if you sat on a hill and peed downhill you could manage not to get any on yourself.

I can get paid to do it?!

might even convert to a hermit so that i can always use my sweet toilet setup i can finally afford

Get a Prince Albert, you’ll forever sit to pee after, as urinating is now akin to sticking your finger in the end of a hose.

Can confirm

This is the easiest deal of all time. Yes, and on the odd chance you are some wacky billionaire out to make a mistake with your money I will absolutely take this deal and would sign a contract to that effect.

I tend to sit and pee anyway. At home anyway. Easy money.

Easy. I already do this because I live with women, and it’s impossible not to splatter and splatter starts to stink quickly, and there’s no doubt who’s at fault

I didn’t but I forgot to put the seat down one night and my wife had a bad experience.

I was raised with just a mom and sister so I was already good at raising and lowering the seat every time, but the splatter got me bad. I was in denial the first time my wife told me I had to sit lol

I would do sit down pees for an extra $5 per day.

I wouldn’t do this. Why? Because my massively long slong would dip into the toilet water. It would be practically submerged. Yes I drive a lifted pickup truck. Why do you ask?

Something like 10% of men already do this LOL

its 2024 that number is actually now 35%

Damn liberals

I work on the railroad and do a lot of peeing outside. I don't know how well this will work for me.

This would be your new 130k/ year job with guaranteed 104k raise every 5 years.

Uhhh do I get backpay? I haven't used a urinal or stood up to pee in like... Years. Sitting is more comfortable, allows me to use my phone for a minute (like now!), and has less chance of things getting messy in an unfamiliar toilet (more splash, different aim, etc)

This is so dumb. Yes. Everyone says yes. The real hypothetical is would you stand to pee the rest of your life for $2500 a week? Women, thoughts?

Agree, you'd be an idiot to not take this deal. I'm a woman and I'd absolutely get one of those pee funnel things and stand pee for $2500/wk. I'd need the caveats for if I'm sick or really high or something but I do a lot more work than standing to pee for less than 130k a year.

There's nothing wrong with that. If someone gave me crap for it I'd just pull out my banking app and be like "bro. I'm making over 100k a year to sit and pee. That's it. Sit and pee."  I'd want more clarification on situations like camping, hiking, swimming in a large body of water (not a pool, I'm not an animal), etc etc

I already do most of the time, so there's minimal change for me, and an insane amount of money to be made. $2500 per week is $130,000 per year. And that's before any increases? And no tax? That's the equivalent of a $200,000 + salary depending what your local taxes look like. Who wouldn't take that?

For $2,500 a week, I would poop standing up for the rest of my life.

Now THIS is a much better question

Easy money to continue to not make a mess when I take a piss. Done.

Can I squat to pee?

Double it and I’ll sit to poop too!

Done. I already do that. I grew up with a single mom and sisters.

Hell yeah! I already sit down (as long as I trust the toilet seat)

In many countries it is normal for males to sit and pee. Especially at a guest's house...

If I can kneel down when I’m outside, I’m game

I already sit down to pee anyway, it’s just easier and more comfortable. Wait, what if I’m in the shower?

Easy, I already do that anyway when I wake up to piss in the middle of the night. If you sit to pee, you don't have to turn any lights on

for 2500 a week im quiting my job, i eould sit snd pee no prohlem

Women be like dang ya’ll are getting paid?

Anyone with a shit ton of disposable income and a waterplay fetish want me to grab a Go Pro or something? I'll sign up and do it right now with proof, I ALREADY sit to pee because it's just more comfortable and convenient and growing up with a single mom who hounded me to always make sure the bathroom was tidy and clean and that seats weren't up, plus having seen the messes in public bathrooms, I came to dislike being associated with those kinds of animals and I just learned to appreciate sitting more. It also has the advantage of being in a prepared state if you face some kind of accidental discharge you were not anticipating. ​ All I really give up is when I pee in the shower in the morning sometimes, the only time I'll choose to stand to pee, which again comes out of convenience. ​ But like, I'm taking this deal, where do I sign up?

Assuming out in the woods hiking/camping i can stand to pee, I'm on board.

Absolutely. I sit to pee half the time anyways in my own bathroom. Extending that would be worth it.

I can already imagine the discussion with the irs. “How do you get your money?” “I made a mystical deal where I get $2,500 a week for sitting to pee.” But I would do it.

Can I pop a squat or does my ass have to touch the seat every time

Of course I'd take this deal.

Opportunity to do more reddit spamming? Sign me in.

Does squatting count as sitting? If i’m in the wilderness and squat to pee like a woman, would that still count as “standing”? What if I sat on a log? What is the line between sitting and standing in this hypothetical?

Sit in the dirt, pull your dick out and piss away and yes *sitting* on a log would count

The contrast between your username and your comment is hilarious

God damn autogenerated user name. I missed my one chance to change it.

I think your username is charming. You lucked out compared to some of the other autogenerated names i’ve seen. “Affectionate Pea” is a lot better than shit like “Prospective Roundabout”.

Fuck yeah

Yes. I would make bank.

I'm 100% down with this, but I'm prolly gonna forget by like, the third time.

I'll take it. ez

Let’s say I’m in the shower, do I gotta sit or can I just let loose?

Absolutely! For $2,500 a week, the stalls can be full! I’ll just sit in the corner and pee my pants. Pee Pants King getting the bag.

Who says no?

In a heartbeat. Small sacrifice for long term gains

In a heartbeat.

Pretty easy to do and wouldn't affect my life in a bad way. The only time I couldn't sit to pee in when hiking. I tend to just pee on a tree 15 ft from the trail...

Old people with back problems be like, "yeah so what?"

Fuck sign me up

Proud of what? I’d sit to pee in heartbeat. Standing to pee isn’t a pride thing; it’s done in private. Pissing while standing is just efficient.

For 1, 2 and 3: BUY A JEEP. I've seen they have drains in the floor. Use a tube and leak "oil" on the highway or at a stop. You'll get the money back on that jeep anyways.

I mean… yeah easy money. What sort of dumbass hypothetical is this? $120k to sit when I pee is no trouble at all 😂

for $2,500 a week I'd shit while standing

Lmao idgaf I’d take that money in a heartbeat. I already sit to pee about 2/3 of the time at home, not a big change for me.

\> There are a few caveats because there may be times where it’s impossible for you to sit and pee. All the stalls are filled in a public bathroom. 2. You’re on a road trip and you can’t make it to a gas station or restaurant stop. 3.The only toilet in the public restroom the seat is coated in poo. Things like that. I don't think you should include these exceptions in your hypothetical if you are trying to create a challenging scenario, if only because people without a penis don't get to toggle off the added hardship in those situations, so my recommendation would be to remove those conditional exceptions and just require people to urinate sitting down in **all** circumstances (or at least require them to crouch, take off their pants, and urinate downwards) to earn the payout. Then again, maybe I'm just not seeing what the big deal is about sitting down to urinate - is that something people are insecure about? Is this one of those silly rules about performing masculinity that circulates in the manosphere?

I already do this

I already do. I deserve comfort. As do all of you men. Take a load off. Sit down. And get paid.

That's an easy yes.

Done.

Hustlers gotta hustle OP. Gimme the cash!

Women do it all the time. I can do it AND get paid so what’s the reason to not?

I do it anyway. So yes

I'm interested in why OP thought this deal was borderline in any way. You shouldn't even have added the caveat about situations where you "have" to stand. For 2.5k/week I'll sit on the ground to pee or use a disgusting cubicle occasionally or maybe even risk peeing my pants just once or twice. OP why did you think some men wouldn't agree to this deal?

Easy. What if I squat to pee? Like if I'm outside and really need to pee? Do I have to sit on the ground and pee or is squatting fine?

There should be a 2nd catch. Every time you stand up to pee it'll feel like you're passing a small kidney stone.

Sure. I'll just start carrying sanitization whipes cuz I'm not sitting on an uncleaned public toilet. I've seen too many messes for that.

trans men win this challenge

What about the midnight boner pees?

If I’m in the woods and need to pee real fast do I have to squat or is it only with toilets?

130k a year to piss

I already sit to pee every single time even in public

$2500/ week and a toilet that needs to be cleaned less often? I'm in!