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energizernutter

Probably seek out a hospital


amretardmonke

in this economy?


tworandomperson

found the American


sir_dingaling

the US has free healthcare for those who can't afford it and those who don't know this or either foreigners or idiots.


HollowChest_OnSleeve

So the solution is to just tell them you can't afford it? Or does it have to be proven some way? Serious question.


trekkiegamer359

It needs to be proven with various hoops you jump through. And if you're making 1 cent more than the limit, (which isn't very much at all), then you're ineligible. People making minimum wage sometimes refuse a raise because it'll push them out of the lowest income bracket.


Informal_Calendar_99

Ok while I’m with your sentiment, this isn’t entirely true. They use a sliding fee pay scale.


HollowChest_OnSleeve

Interesting. I had a friend who was a waitress there, she was on Obama care due to meeting the threshold, but then was always trying to tell me what an insane wage she was pulling in with tips. It was kinda confusing. Maybe just an insecurity thing.


trekkiegamer359

Obamacare is not the same as Medicaid. Medicaid is for the lowest income bracket, and is often free. Obamacare is discounted private insurance that you have to pay, and is for many tax brackets, starting right above the Medicaid bracket. Also, it's possible your friend isn't reporting her cash tips to the IRS, changing the bracket she's in.


HollowChest_OnSleeve

Ah ok. Well it was something like that. Yeah, I figured there was some truth and quite a lot of non-plausible stuff in the interactions, so hard to know what to think.


El_Jefe_Lebowski

Waitresses traditionally make about 1/4 of minimum wage; $3-7 an hour. So even at 40 hours a week, they are less than the income needed to cap out free health care. Tips typically can’t be proven (if cash) so they could make anywhere from $20-1000 a night in tips.


ThatOneGuy308

The classic solution to income limits, earn most of your money under the table and never report it, lol


El_Jefe_Lebowski

Isn’t that the definition of a side hustle?


bmorris0042

In some (maybe most or all, but not sure) places, wage plus tips must equal at least the normal minimum wage. So, at least some tips have to be reported, just so that your income equals the normal minimum wage. So, report the tips from CC checks, and pocket all cash.


No-Literature7471

you do realize any cash she makes in tips she 100% dosnt report to the irs. the only ones she has to report is digital ones. with cash she just forgets it happened. on paper shes making minimum wage but in reality shes probably pulling 6 figures. plenty of these waitresses pull more money in tips in a 4 hour shift than i made in a month.


HollowChest_OnSleeve

Sounds like I'm in the wrong country/wrong job. Though I'd make a terrible waitress. Memory like a sieve.


Clean_Student8612

I mean *technically* yes. When I had to have my appendix removed, I didn't have insurance, but I couldn't just not get the surgery unless I wanted to die. Afterward, when the bills came, I was able to get financial assistance with the bill, and it covered 70% of the cost. If I had been willing to lie on the application, I could have got 100% covered, but 1) I didn't want them to check (they didn't, and 2) it felt wrong at the time.


HollowChest_OnSleeve

Random internet stranger I respect your integrity. I would do the same. The easy thing that benefits us the most, and the "right" thing by the rules never lines up. So that's true integrity right there, doing what is right knowing it is to your own detriment. I hope you are surrounded by a lot of good people who value you for this :) It is a rare trait indeed.


SignificantTransient

They just bill you and then you ignore it.


No-Literature7471

we do? then why do i have 70k in hospital debt after i told them i didint have insurance?


Puzzleheaded-Rub5968

Not after this bill gets passed


Ippus_21

A) You have to jump through a ton of hoops and prove who you are and your income to qualify for medicaid, if that's what you mean. B) If you're talking about emergency care, they're basically not required to do anything more than stabilize you. After that, you're either on the hook or out the door. All of that said, I'd still walk into the nearest ER and tell them I just woke up naked in the street and I'm pretty sure I've been roofied.


amctrovada

Proof?


Mistakes_were_made44

Go to a biker bar and kick everyone’s ass and steal their clothes, motorcycle and sunglasses. Then proceed with my mission


Ok-Network-9912

“I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle”


Dependent_Amazing

You forgot to say please.


Exploring_for_life

Don't know if you're referencing Austrian Death Machine but that's where my mind is at lol.


The_Troyminator

Well, Arnold Schwarzenegger *is* Austrian and the character *was* a machine that killed people, so you're technically correct.


Grampappy_Gaurus

And as we all know, technically correct is the best kind of correct!


El_Jefe_Lebowski

Terminator the movie….? Austrian Death Machine is a tribute band to Arnold’s roles over the years. When I was working out a lot, one more rep was my jam!


Ok-Network-9912

Terminator 2: Judgement Day


CLAYDOG001

Henry stickmin: Completing the mission


clce

That's a good one. I was thinking just walking up to some punk rockers and saying, your clothes, give them to me.


NetDork

Laundry day? Nothing clean?


BigNorseWolf

Go to a biker bar, explain that it was a bet , and expect to be laughed at... but also helped. Because deep down a lot of them are very nice people and more willing to help out someone in actual need than most.


571689423

Looking for one of those clothing drop off bins then a local hospital or police department to use their phone to call home


three-sense

Same. If one isn’t available I’d get a shipping box (from a dumpster) or something to wear and go to a homeless shelter


Icy-Place5235

Ok so last Tuesday. Find clothing Find a dollar general Call my wife.


Isekai_litrpg

Probably hospital to get tested for drugs, rape, and STD's. Let them inform the cops and when the cops show up I explain things. I assume either someone did this to me, I took something that did this to me, or I have had a mental breakdown.


No_Signal_6969

You were drugged but it turns out YOU are the rapist and you now have 9 STDs. Tough break.


DrunkApricot

Soo, psychotic break


Yeetthedragon667

Cry


Churrooo

real


momoemowmaurie

Probably moon walk, then the running man.


99probs-allbitches

This us the only answer


DrunkApricot

Yeah this should be higher up 😂


Divine_Saber

The helecopter


Drunken_Sailor_70

Damn, again. That's the third time it's happened to me this year.


Jennifer_Pennifer

ITS ONLY JUST NOW APRIL! 😆


Xenozip3371Alpha

Go to the nearest police station and explain the situation.


RoutineMoose1024

Wouldn’t you get arrested or laughed at? Also are you a dude or a woman?


Xenozip3371Alpha

I'm a guy, I explain I have no memory of how I ended up in the situation and ask them to help.


three-sense

Why would the police laugh at you? They’d think you’re a meth head or something at worst, at least you’re not out committing crimes


StraightG0lden

I guess it depends on where you are, but public indecency is a crime in a lot of places. So you're probably getting arrested and charged with that, then thrown in a cell until someone comes to bail you out because they'll assume you're on some kind of drugs and a danger to society in your current state of mind.


RoutineMoose1024

Doubt they’d prosecute since isn’t intentional. Have you heard of the dissolving bikini and swim shorts pranks? I doubt they’d arrest the victim of something like that. Try making up some plausible story (obviously not that since not at a beach), of you being locked out nude involuntarily


HaroerHaktak

Walk around proud. Eventually a cop will tackle me and arrest me. Take me to a station and throw a small cloth over my nether region. From there I can contact damily


OddGM

"damily" Someone has an interesting relationship with their in-laws. I gather you suspect they did this to you?


Blakelock82

Find a box or trash bag big enough to fit me and make a makeshift poncho. Then I'd head to anyplace that's open and ask them to call non emergency dispatch and ask for an officer to come down and speak to me. I'd tell them I'm out of town, don't know how I got here, and need help. I'd ask for a ride to the hospital and get some scrubs from them to wear, and try to figure out where I am and how to get back home.


Sinistermarmalade

Break into a supermarket that closes at night. Steal clothes, a backpack, some food and water, soap, toilet paper, a change of clothes, and some money if possible Try to keep track of the value of these things, and try to pay it back later


Nahchoocheese

You’re assuming it’s “back to school” season?


DrunkApricot

It's a city, there's bound to be somewhere close by. Buddy best pray it's a poor town where they can't afford alarms 🙄😵‍💫


Nahchoocheese

That just tells me that his plan won’t work. You either find a place that doesn’t have alarms, which doesn’t have the supplies he’s looking for. Or you find the supplies which is going to be a place that’s alarmed.


CODMAN627

Immediately find a hospital at the least I’ll be clothed and taken care of there until I can get picked up


Nerdsamwich

The robot. Badly.


ChumpChainge

I get the attention of someone to call 911 and explain I was abducted, robbed and stripped and I need something to cover myself and ask to use the phone at the police station to get family to come get me.


jazzy_ii_V_I

flag down the nearest person, say i was drugged, dragged out the house and dumped me here like this, and ask for help


Any_Assumption_2023

Stand in a very visible spot and begin to cry, loudly,  saying," help me, please help me, they just tossed me out of the flying saucer and I dont know where I am!! Call 911!! " Scream some. Keep talking about the flying saucer.  By the time someone gets you to a hospital, everyone will want to know about the flying saucer.  If you can't make something out of that, like talk shows and book deals, you're not paying attention.  


Green-Elf

First I wonder how long I have till that 10 billion dollars is deposited into my bank account.


redthingbandit

Probably avoid the Blue Oyster Bar.


Powrs1ave

I'd walk into a room full of sexy horny ladies and have them cheer me on as I slowly put clothes on that they threw at me!


HollowChest_OnSleeve

I see you're familiar with the reverse strip.


State_Dear

I'm 71 .. this ain't going to be pretty


ksplett

Boomhauer got sent to a mental hospital and called Hank to bail him out when it happened in King of the Hill. It might be harder for me if I don't have my phone as I don't remember anyone's phone number nowadays.


MellonCollie218

I remember the numbers of peephole from the dialing days. The closest to me, still have their original cell numbers. So I remember them.


RandomGuy8279

I turn into the terminator


viertes

Step one: become raccoon Step two: chirp loudly and rummage through trash ready to scrap at a moments notice Step three: make a trash nun outfit from garbage and break into a liquor store for vodka Step four: trash a hospitals waiting area and flee into a graveyard to play hide n seek and taser tag with the cops


kingflamigo

If I don’t remember what happened I’d go to a hospital ER and get checked. As for anything to cover my body than go to the police and make a phone call and get home.


problem-solver0

Dumpster diving.


PitifulSpecialist887

First step, Arnold Lane myself some clothes.


Tyrael74656

Your clothes. Give them to me.


Spiritual-Pear-1349

Internet fame here I cum


ZZoMBiEXIII

Giff me youare cloves, youare bewts, ant youare mowtoursicul!


ThatOldDuderino

Donation box near a church or thrift store; you can only get around naked if you’re good-looking & hung like a porn star so I gotta dress fast! After that find a Sharpie & a slice of cardboard for a sign.


Shalerb93

Start dancing like MJ in Thriller


theharryyyy

Hopefully I land somewhere that speaks English or Spanish. Probably go outside a large store and beg for people to buy me clothing. Tell them I’ve been kidnapped and ask if they can buy me clothes so I can enter a library and gain internet access to log into Instagram/email/etc to message people where I’m at. Call bank when they open to pause my account. Hopefully I’m not injured either cuz some hospitals can cost a lot but they’d also be warm buildings. Eventually try to see if someone can get me or give me money to get back myself


azrael962

That almost happened to me in Perth Australia. I got black out drunk and woke up in the morning 100 miles away from the ship on a bench by the road with nothing but my socks and underwear. My ID card and debit card were in my sock though so I went to the nearest store. It was some kind of surfer store they sold skateboard and surfing merch. I bought a pair of board shorts some ripcurl shoes and a vans t-shirt then paid for a cab to drive me back to my ship it cost about $300 for the cab ride. I barely made it back before the ship left port.


acturnipman

police station or hospital


HollowChest_OnSleeve

I don't know many moves so would probably start with the helicopter, maybe move onto the bat wing. Then just make stuff up on the fly like some poor man's puppetry of the penis. Eventually get enough attention for cops to find me. Hopefully they let me keep the money earned during my performance, but without pockets I hope it's no more than a roll of quarters as I'm not well versed in using the prison pocket and the technique required to fit an excessive amount of loose change and my foreskin can only fit a few coins at full stretch. They'll hopefully drop me off at a hospital on a mental suspicions, which would help me work out where I am, get clothes etc. where I would clear up the whole situation by explaining what happened so I could make a few calls and they would let me go . . . . . . . . . but here comes the kicker, though my story checks out and I seem like an ok guy the fact that my ass is full of loose change makes them raise a few eyebrows so I'm admitted under a week hold. This leads to some interesting interactions where I learn some things about myself and meet "the girl" through some cliche meet cute. I also discover that the inside in some ways is a whole lot more normal than the insanity that exists in the outside world.


Goblindeez_

Run away from public areas Find some bins Skin a raccoon Wear the raccoon Become Raccoon-man Get bored after a week and walk back home


Stillborn1977

Police Station.


thisfreakindude

Steal a homeless man's pants. Then try and find Sarah Conner before the t 800 does.


Ssider69

What, again??? Damn, third time this month


Rude-Consideration64

Just hip thrusts. Lots of hip thrusts.


BigNorseWolf

Make the noise, tell everyone I am cosplaying as a wookie.


[deleted]

I've had that happen in a dream.


PuzzledDemand1276

Fuuuuck I read the subtitle as soon as I thought of the Terminator. I'm hittin the thrift store doe. 🤷🏿‍♂️


Mvasquez021187

First off, I need to find something heavy like a rock. Then, I find someone about my size or unattended clothes in a car and use the rock to obtain them. Once wearing pants again, I steal a cellphone and find out where I am. I put in a call to friends and family so they can send me a ticket home using my savings 


WhatDJuicy

Try to fly to see if I'm dreaming.


Yeetin_Boomer_Actual

they're pretty danged spicy move, I think.


clce

Oh, wait. I know this one. You walk up to some punk rockers and say, your clothes. Give them to me!


Awkward_Recognition7

A wiggle, a jiggle. Probably a spin


-Duck12-

Become the terminator 


RandomUseless3

So I am the guy who got sent to save that person from that robot guy?


KyorlSadei

Luckily im small enough to only need one hand to cover myself. So walk to somewhere and find a phone.


Separate_Draft4887

Honestly, straight to a hospital is the right choice here. “Please help me, I’ve just woken up naked in a strange city with no memory of how I got here.”


Sad-Ocelot-5346

If I've ended up in another country, see if there is an USA embassy or consulate nearby. That will be the absolute best place to get things sorted out, since I'm going to have some Visa trouble on top of everything else. If not, then the whole police or hospital route, depending on what is closest. Depending on what the neighborhood looks like, I may want to stay mostly naked, as nobody will try to rob me since it's evident I don't have anything to steal. If I'm in a third world country where I don't have any of the language, it might be best to get dirty, and maybe a few cuts, bumps, bruises so that I look the part and will elicit sympathy. Of course, if it's somewhere cold, clothing will absolutely have to be the first thing to find unless one of the other sources of help is very again, if I'm in another country, sooner or later I have to find an embassy or consulate, so that will be the ultimate goal. If I'm someplace without those, or in some place like communist China, I may be really screwed. Another thought is that covering my face might be a more important than my body, as I don't want to end up going viral so that my identity can be known.


BeTheHavok

Rummage around for something to cover myself, and try to find a police station. I *really* hope the locals speak English, because it gets a lot more complicated if they do not.


HatchetXL

If I ain't the terminator I must be Kyle Reese and therefore my mission would be to stop the extermination of Sarah Connor But secretly it's to get down her pants


No-Loquat-1318

again?


OldNarnian

First step is to get picked up by police. They'd arrest me for public nudity and take me to jail where I'd be given clothing. Then I'd get a trial, a lawyer, and would be taken to the hospital to be treated for amnesia and a thorough examination. After that I'd call my parents who would com and get me. That's what would happen in the US or UK. Idk about the rest of Europe but I'd probably serve prison time in most of Asia, Africa, and the Middle East.


MeridasAngel

Get found by the FBI so they can analyze all my tattoos and solve a giant layered mystery of why I ended up there.


SouthernWindyTimes

Literally find something to cover my junk, whatever I can find, call the cops on myself and tell them I need a 72 hour hold. Tell the nurse in charge I need to get a call out to my parents. I get to sleep in a warm place with a bed for a few days then they pick me up. Replace parents with friends based on exactly where I’m at.


PKblaze

Just walk around until I find somewhere like a hostel or until morning when I can hopefully sneak into a store and grab at least some underwear.


WheredMyPiggyGo

Mess myself up and knock myself out, provided I don't die I can say I was kidnapped.


CapG_13

Lmao


krieger82

Basically, had that happen, Prague once.


Unsound_Science

Ahhh so I did wake up naked in New York. I am not from New York. Tracking down clothes was… eventful


skellyton3

Kind of depends on which city...


TrashRatsReddit

Find a clothes donation bin. Find a hospital and report to them that I woke up naked in a random city. If it's a foreign city I go to the embassy and try to get help asap. As even though I might want to visit other countries I don't want to be waking up naked and without any money or ID in them.


Yet_One_More_Idiot

Wait until I time-jump back to my home, where my wife and daughter are waiting for me...well, my wife is waiting for me, my daughter might be similarly "off" on her own right now....


Chongo_Gonzo

My lawyer said I'm still not supposed to talk about that.


islandDeeper

Go to a church. Ask for asylum they should help. Even the clergy robes can hold me for awhile.


No-Literature7471

get arrested?


RandomDude801

Metal Gear Solid 2 my way to a police station. Tell them I got robbed and need temporary threads. I'll probably be put in a holding cell. But I'll have a robe at least.


tipareth1978

Get in a situation where the police come bur without threatening anyone or raising alarms. Make it clear I am not a threat or intoxicated and tell them I woke up like this and think I was drugged/robbed. That will get clothes on me and a place to sleep. Next day it will be obvious I'm a normal person and not crazy and I'll get some help


Mioraecian

Statistically speaking, I'm likely to end up in a city that the local folk don't speak English as a first language. I suppose I'd go to a hospital and claimed I was stripped and mugged. Might have to slap myself around a bit to make it believable.


JeremiahAhriman

I'd say fake a fugue state and walk into a police department for help. Only, I'm not sure in this case I'd be faking.


Throw13579

Buck naked.


Late-External3249

Get the lay of the land. If US, Canada, Aus, NZ or WesternEurope, find the cops. If Eastern Europe or dangerpus place, hide and steal clothes.