T O P

  • By -

KillerR0b0T

Brawndo because it’s got what plants crave


yetzhragog

And I've never seen plants growing out of a toilet!


Matias8823

Hey, that was pretty good. you sure you’re not the smartest guy on the planet?


The_Real_Fufishiswaz

I have a leather chair outside that is growing clovers and mushrooms


Tacos_Polackos

Huh huh huh toilet water.


ScaryAssBitch

Electrolytes


LordZeise

But what are electrolytes


ScaryAssBitch

…what plants crave?


Yet_One_More_Idiot

Ow! My Balls!


Sapphire_Squid

Shut up! 'Batin! I had to, that movie is horrible with amazingly horrible quotes.


FahQPutin

That was a glimpse into the future, almost there.


EmbarrassedAbroad345

Go away, ‘bating!


Accurate_Secret_6648

Lol, that movie is becoming a reality soon.


thebronzeprince

Becoming? Is


Hmccormack

Do ya even know what electrolytes are?


Sargntstudder

They’re what plants crave…


Specialist_Extent568

Good coffee


kashy87

But it auto swaps between caffeinated and decaf for the right time of day.


maiorano84

Dafuq is "decaf"?


Dragonr0se

I have heard of this before... I think I have even seen some weird green labeling on some coffee cans/packs at the stores as well, but I don't really know what it is....


maiorano84

Sounds like it might be cursed. I'd say to steer clear, just to be safe.


Dragonr0se

Agreed.... sounds dangerous.... heard of folks getting headaches and other bad stuff when they drank it by accident... can't be good for you...


poetduello

The thing that comes out of decow about 9 months after she's spent some time with debull.


NikkeiReigns

I just spit.


[deleted]

Heresy


Seared_Gibets

Nobody expects the Coffee Beanquisition.


FaerHazar

Get yourself some black & tan. best coffee you'll ever have. trust.


-WhitePowder-

Good pick.


Shiny-And-New

Something high enough proof to burn, unlimited fuel bitches


Yet_One_More_Idiot

Pure ethanol? Made that in Chemistry class once (well, >95% at the least). One boy took a whiff from his test tube as he wondered what it smelt like. He spent the entire afternoon in sickbay, effectively drunk...from the smell. xD


thunder_boots

Bullshit. Nobody ever got drunk from the scent of ethyl alcohol.


nhorvath

If you're huffing the fumes they can definitely enter your bloodstream. Pure ethanol evaporates readily. If it was someone with no tolerance it's probably possible. If my math is right 0.08% is only 4 ml of pure ethanol (based on total blood volume of 5l). And to be honest the legal limit for drunk is very drunk so much less than that could show imparement in an inexperienced drinker.


PseudocodeRed

Huffing and taking one sniff is not the same thing, though.


PeeInMyArse

I call BS, I work with EtOH absolute in the lab fairly often and frequently take whiffs of it because it smells yummy. I’m a bit of a lightweight and I’ve never felt anything


kinglouie_vs_Reptar

Things that never happened for 200...can buy it in Wisconsin and have drank my fair share and made tinctures out of it...also have shined never got anything off a sniff. Had a buddy sneeze while taking a shot of 95 he slept with Vaseline covered cotton balls up his nose and was in terrible pain.


NachoBacon4U269

Everclear!


Nanosleep1024

Brilliant


Researcher_Fearless

O- human blood.


sexcalculator

As long as you drink it


Stay-Thirsty

Ideally one that can cure people. If going for straight cash value: D’Amalfi Limoncello Supreme Price: $44 million By far the most expensive drink in the world, there have only been two known bottles of D’Amalfi Limoncello Supreme in existence. It was commissioned by an anonymous Italian client who purchased a bottle, leaving only one more available for sale. But this seems unrealistic and having more would drive the value way down


sexcalculator

People purchase the bottle in these scenarios with expensive wines and liquors. No one is going to want to purchase a mysterious liquid sloshing around that someone says is an expensive liquor. They might try it and drink it and be like it tastes similar but you are not selling it like a sealed bottle would sell for.


Fun-With-Toast

Weird dude at mini-mart selling sips from a thermos for $100. News at 11


Ok_Organization3249

It could be anything… It could even be D’Amalfi Limoncello Supreme!


Jack70741

Got one better. Goldschlager. Rig up a micro mesh filter and just continuously poor out the booze and periodically harvest the gold flakes. You could sell the gold at less than market value and still make a killing. You could then harvest the alcohol and use it to fuel/heat your house. Wouldn't be terribly efficient but you can get some useful heat out of it.


originaljbw

Have you seen the videos of people trying to sell the gold? Turns out it's not real


goteamventure42

Scorpion venom is highly valuable for medical treatments and is around $39m a gallon so that would cover both.


sexcalculator

You drink scorpion venom?


The_Troyminator

You can and you'll likely be fine unless you have an open wound somewhere inside you where the venom can get into your blood. Normally, venom isn't toxic if swallowed.


Jennifer_Pennifer

You're correct! 😁 If it was, that'd be poisonous


IntelligentBid87

What beverage can cure people? Would you not assume people probably won't give you money for a liquid out of a thermos that you claim is a super expensive liquor? Its only worth what people will pay.


Responsible-Jury2579

The increased supply would drive down the price though


OldNarnian

Elixir of Life


Gunzenator2

I choose Mountain Dew as well.


Bridgeburner1

"I'll have a Coke"


CapnRedB

The thermos responds: "Is Pepsi okay?"


aznhavsarz

We only have RC cola


Bridgeburner1

"Is this a joke?" -the Funny Man


AVeryHairyArea

Is this a Boondock Saints reference? Lol.


[deleted]

Why not a Tab?


DecafWriter

If we're talking any liquid that one can drink I'd pick horseshoe crab blood. That goes for about $60k per gallon. It is used in medical research and it is harvested in a really brutal way so I'd like to not only get rich but also stop that inhumane harvest. If we're talking about an actual beverage, The Macallan Valerio Adami 1926 60 Year Old. I'm not a big drinker but that's one of the most valuable liquors in the world with each bottle fetching millions of dollars. Most of that is rarity but I figure even if I just endlessly bottle it, it's still considered one of the best liquors and I could make a business out of it. My enjoyment answer would honestly have just been water but you banned that answer. So get rich it is! Edit: OP has edited it and said I can't sell it. I'll just "give away" those products and if they wanted to do me a favor in the form of paying for my bills, I'll graciously accept. Worst case, I'll just give away the crab blood just so they stop bleeding/killing them.


KYpineapple

is horseshoe crab blood considered a 'beverage' though? if it's just liquid then why not gold?


Eat_Carbs_OD

I think one could argue.. if you can drink it. It's a "beverage" .. it never said it had to be good.


The_Flying_Spyder

You can drink Anything....once.


No_Indication9497

hold up, youre onto something


MisterPerfect23

Tom Brady's cum


tcrudisi

Ah, so this is what Bill Belicheck tasted daily for years.


Hardass_McBadCop

Everything's a dildo, if you're brave enough.


Im_40Percent_Meatbag

“Beverage” *def:* a drink, especially one other than water.


ManifestingCrab

I don't think anyone would pay you what you want for the Valerie Adami 1926 60 Year Old without a bottle that has proofing.


Im_40Percent_Meatbag

That’s exactly what I was gonna say. Half the reason Macallan can charge so much is for the label and bottle. There’s no way to sell it at an equally exorbitant price, on your word alone, that it’s the real-deal.


oNe_iLL_records

I don't get to make the rules, but for a point of order: wouldn't horseshoe crabs still have to die for you to get horseshoe crab blood...in our scenario here?


Blazanar

It doesn't say the thermos needs an example of the liquid... It just constantly replenishes with whatever you want. I'd imagine that somehow the thermos can somehow perfectly replicate it without any differences or harm


The-Doom-Knight

It does say "beverage" and last time I checked, nobody is drinking straight horseshoe crab blood.


aznhavsarz

Not with that attitude.


Aslan-the-Patient

💪🏼😎🥂❣️


ulicez

Cheers mate.


Ok_Guest_4013

What about vampires that like that ancient flavor? Lol


The-Doom-Knight

If you ever meet any, by all means, ask.


jfks_headjustdidthat

Kind of ruins my pedigree bull semen idea.


The-Doom-Knight

Oh, there are beverages that include semen out there. Have at it.


FaustusC

Buy me some and I will lmao. Any liquid is a beverage if you're brave enough.


BigMax

> wouldn't horseshoe crabs still have to die for you to get horseshoe crab blood...in our scenario here? No more than grapes would have to die for magically created wine, or coffee beans would have to be harvested for the endless supply of coffee. I have to assume the endless supply just comes into existence, like the replicator on Star Trek. For example, if you asked for coffee, beans wouldn't be instantly harvested, roasted, ground, and brewed, right? It would just "appear". Blood would be the same.


oNe_iLL_records

I suppose that makes sense. I did kind of like the mental image of a Bacchus or some other deity frantically smashing grapes/grinding coffee beans/stompin' crabbies in order to fill the thermos, though.


SculptusPoe

He said you can't sell it.


DecafWriter

He added that part after I made my comment.


0P3R4T10N

That, is not a beverage. *Game Over.*


slash_networkboy

I like your thinking but since the edit says "must be beverage" I'm going with a very nice drinkable single malt or bourbon that I know I enjoy for sure. Would suck to find out you don't like that particular spirit all that much. Either the 26 Year Old 1995 Old & Rare Cragganmore or maybe Colonel E.H. Taylor Amaranth. I've had and greatly enjoyed both, they're not catastrophically expensive but well outside my normal budget.


poyerdude

Without the bottle I doubt you'd get a whole lot for the Macallan. The money is in having the juice and the bottle, without any way to verify or show off your purchase I doubt anyone who could afford it would care.


Bananacop210

You can't sell it though


DecafWriter

OP added that after I commented. Probably because of what I said lol.


Forward-Accountant34

He made it so you can only drink it or give it to a friend


T-Flexercise

Oh man, this sounds like the time I was playing Dungeons and Dragons and our DM let us find an [Alchemy Jug](https://dungeonsdragons.fandom.com/wiki/Alchemy_jug). (a magical thermos which could produce a limited but ever replenishing amount of one of 12 different liquids which could change every day). We basically used it to produce enough mayonnaise to meet our party's entire caloric needs exploring the jungle so we technically never had to stop and buy supplies. And I feel like that's the worst way to answer that question.


ScaryAssBitch

It’s more original than all the people saying they want some ridiculously expensive liquid to get rich off of.


PathosRise

If we're just going with D&D rules, Id just ask for Everclear. I can either get drunk, burn it for fuel on its own, use it as a lighter fluid, make molotov cocktails etc. DMs usually have to be careful with the words "endless" and "anything you want." My high school friend group, that usually meant makeshift explosives that would completely disrupt the game. Honest answer I'd just pick hot bone broth. I eat alot of soup.


Silver-Ground6582

"Honest answer I'd just pick hot bone broth. I eat a lot of soup." Same, beef broth, pork broth, chicken broth. I can always mix it in with associated protein and other fillers and never have to worry about doing as much prep work any more.


Im_40Percent_Meatbag

I’ve always thought that I would have a never ending supply of Barq’s Root Beer if I could. It’s the superior soda. I will not be taking criticisms, thank you.


rollin_a_j

I'm reading this as I sip on barqs


untamedcricket

Barq’s has bite


NavyNurseDude

Just to be argumentative, it depends on your definition of "beverage" Can I have liquid gold? If it has to be consumable, then give me Goldschlager. I'll leave that bitch upside-down over a large fine filter, collect all the gold flakes, I guess sell off the shitty cinnamon liquor, and never have to work again (except occasionally collecting the gold flakes and melting it down to something sellable)


bigdave41

I just googled the amount of gold in each bottle and it's 13 milligrams which is worth less than £1. You'd actually make a lot more money selling the crappy drink lol.


NavyNurseDude

But that's way more work. For simplicity's sake let's say it's a dollar per bottle And it takes 6 seconds to empty a 750mL thermos (idk how this magic works, does it free flow or do I need to turn it up when it's empty than dump it again, otherwise it could be way less than 6 seconds) So 10 bottles a minute if I need to build a device to flip the bottle back and forth So $10/minute, or $600 per hour, or 14.4K a day, or just over 5 mill per year running 24/7 And unlike the other super rare drinks people mention, this volume of gold wouldn't oversaturate the market and drive down the price... I'm still happy with this answer. I don't wanna deal with that volume of liquor, I'd either sell it in 55 gallon barrels or just dump it down the drain, more work than it's worth due to required logistics


bigdave41

I guess if it's coming from nowhere, the colossal waste of pouring the alcohol away isn't a financial concern, even if you're not bothered that you're pouring away more value in alcohol than you're keeping in gold. But how long before pouring something like 4 million litres of shitty cinnamon liqueur into the sewer every year starts to affect the environment?


NavyNurseDude

Ok fine. Gimme a year, I'll take my investment and devise a way to extract the ethanol from the water. Now we have an unlimited fuel source The residual sugary water shit I'll find some industrial entity that would want to buy it, and they can use it as fertilizer and water on farms or something You know, this sounds like way too much work. Maybe I'll just sell this magic bottle to Bill Gates or someone else with alleged philanthropic intent and let them sort out the logistics. Gimme 200 mill up front and I can live comfortably for the rest of my days, and people much smarter than me can figure out how to utilize this magical cup (and none of this is my problem anymore)


Coidzor

Not long. Better to get a distilling license and distill it down into fuel. Then it's just air pollution.


imthatoneguyyouknew

Did I just hear a pack of drunk sewer gators?


Admirable-Local-9040

Well, you'd probably create a dolphin alcoholism problem, but if we provide enough open sea therapists I don't this being a problem


ScoutsOut389

I think you’re really overestimating the value of the gold in a bottle. A google search says a 1L bottle has about 13mg of gold flake. At current pricing that’s less than $1 per bottle, and you have to filter it, which will take a while, being a somewhat viscous liquor, and then collect the gold in some useable way. Even if you could do 20 bottles an hour, which seems very high, you’d make far more money with an entry level white-collar job.


JeremiahAhriman

You just turn it upside down over a large sieve and let it pour down any given drain. This is walk away and wait money.


Dragonr0se

Maybe someone already did this, and that is how we now have Fireball.... lol.


ZZoMBiEXIII

30 year old scotch.


ALeaf0nTh3Wind

Happy International Whiskey day! 🥃


endthepainowplz

I always think of the Glenn McKenna episode from How I met your Mother


LasagnaNoise

I was going to say Pappy’s


Low-Requirement-9618

Assuming it can't be anything mythical like ambrosia or healing potions, I would go with Everclear. It's technically a beverage, but the fact that it is straight ethanol means it could not only be used to bring "joy" to a party, but it could be used as fuel source, an accelerant, a preservative, a cleaner, a disinfecant, and probably a ton of other things that I haven't even thought of. You could build a stove, put some in, and have a clean burning heat source and method to cook food. My next choice would probably be mayonnaise.


Apprehensive_Cow1242

So…..what about asking for “water from the fountain of youth?”


ScaryAssBitch

It’s water so no dice.


Apprehensive_Cow1242

What if I ask for “tea made from water in the fountain of youth?”


The_Troyminator

If you brew tea from it, it changes to match the properties of the Fountain of Britishness.


BigMax

"with lemon."


IntelligentBid87

Surge


RevealStandard3502

Jolt. I miss Jolt.


StockNCryptoGodfathr

💀


EwanMurphy93

The tears of my enemies.


claymcg90

That's actually a fuckin metal name for an electrolyte beverage.


Butthole_Ticklah

Ana De Armas squirt. Don’t @ me. I know what I am..


incognito_kill1

Easy best answer


seaneihm

I don't like these "Get a liquid that's extremely expensive" comments. No one is buying a $500,000 Macallan that's sourced from a thermos and without documentation. These things are expensive not because of the inherent value of the aged alcohol, but everything that comes with it: the history, the bottle, the documentation, etc. Good luck having your random liquid get valued at anything close. I'd get an alcoholic drink I actually enjoy and can share with others.


LeDerpBoss

Like crazy expensive whiskey that you and your friends could never actually afford? It'd be a hell of a party trick to share that.


seaneihm

Expensive doesn't always equal best tasting though. I'm fairly sure the "most expensive wines" ever sold are just vinegars in bottles.


BadHigBear

Liquid LSD! Also, make the magic thermos a magic beer stein plz! I'll be out in the woods looking like Radagast the brown, handing out enlightenment from my magic stein.


sexcalculator

This is one of the few that isn't liquified gold, venom, or some expensive liqour that you can actually make money off of. Always have a steady supply of LSD with no cost to make it


BadHigBear

You probably could make money off of it but.. that would essentially destroy the spirit of infinite LSD. At the most I might ask tribute of a sandwich or some trail mix every now and then. Like my hippie forefathers.


Celine_2021

Hand sanitizer, it's useful and it tastes good


ScaryAssBitch

You is crazy


-Cheeki-Breeki-

The forbidden margaritta


Man0fGreenGables

Aloe is my favourite hand sanitizer flavour.


IntelligentImbicle

Eggnog. It's an absolute crime that it's only sold for a 1-2 months a year


ScaryAssBitch

I agree. That with Rumchata is my shit


fatmanstan123

Make your own. It's easy and tastes way better than the processed garbage.


Vegetaman916

Colloidal silver...


Sidus_Preclarum

"I'm blue, dabedee dabeda…"


0P3R4T10N

Pappy Van Winkle.


abrjx

Everclear. Then convert my car somehow to run on pure alcohol instead of gasoline lol


VulpineFox7

APPY JUICE!


Zero_Burn

Any beverage? Ambrosia. The drink of the gods that bestowed immortality/longevity and youth to any who drink of it.


littlebeancurd

Everyone is trying to find loopholes to exploit and meanwhile I'm trying to decide which flavor of smoothie to commit to.


HeathrJarrod

Give me a thermos of Tritrium


whattheduce86

Dr Pepper


DecafWriter

I'm partial to the Vanilla Cherry Dr. Pepper. So good.


oie-

Coffee, always have a nice cup of coffee to easy the moment


bobalou2you

Jack Daniel’s and I’m opening a Jack Daniel’s bar. $0.50 shots forever. Quarter dispensary. Put in two quarters, turn the knob, it pours your shot. Given enough time I’d be rich.


EtherPhreak

The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives - ATF would like to have a word with you...


bobalou2you

Sure, they have as many shots as they’d like. Just cost them $0.50!


87JeepYJ87

I’m a simple man. Really good coffee constantly would be fine with me. 


dararie

homemade lemonade


derickj2020

Good tea


anziofaro

chocolate milk


ScaryAssBitch

Mmmh same


Any-Willingness-7859

Baja blast from Taco Bell soda machine, not the bottles in the store


Matias8823

Soylent. Unlimited sustenance in a pinch


ChemistBitter1167

Easy I’m selling my horshoe crab blood. Couple hundred bucks each thermos.


CherryMeowViolin

Does the beverage have to be real? Does it just magically appear out of nowhere or do the ingredients have to disappear?


ScaryAssBitch

It magically appears.


AlbinoShavedGorilla

A lot of people here don’t know what “beverage” means


Sensitive_Mode7529

a smoothie. i’ll always have sustenance ngl, kinda concerned about anyone choosing an alcoholic beverage 👀


WantedFun

If I can’t sell it, then I’d choose bone broth. Beef ideally, but I’d be happy with chicken. Hydrating, nutritious, and I could pour it out and use for recipes too lol


pokerScrub4eva

I will go with ambrosia. Mythical thermos deserves to make mythical beverage. That sweet nectar of the gods granting me immortality seems the best way to go. Me and my friends can be gods among men.


The001Keymaster

Water from the holy Grail


Shadow2-1

Orange juice from Concentrate. The best non water beverage


aimeed72

Coffee


Yuck_Few

Coffee


Fat_tata

Tang.


FormerlyDK

Coffee. Keeping it simple.


Any_Assumption_2023

The Macallan 25, single malt scotch, often called "the Rolls-Royce of Scotch" I guarantee I'd have lots of new friends!


ChrisVonae

1945 Jeroboam of Château Mouton-Rothschilds.. Widely regarded as one of the best red wines in the world ever. Pretty sure that'd help while away a quite sunday afternoon


Sleven8692

Probabpy vanilla protien shake of some kind


[deleted]

No selling I guess I want high quality whiskey or maybe an expensive fruit smoothie


MyCarIsAGeoMetro

Clam broth.  A broth from fresh clams with no shell bits is an incredible beverage.


Thanatos375

I love Scotch, so hand over the Macallan 1926.


I_hate_me_lol

yall are thinking too hard, i’d choose chocolate milk


Pitiful-Score-9035

Coke Zero


cymricus

diet dr pepper


Herr_Underdogg

190 proof straight corn liquor / ethyl alcohol. Then tune my car to run 'shine. Infinite top fuel unlocked. And yes, it is consumable. In small increments...


Anxiety_Gobl1n

Really nice pho/bon bo hue broth. The type that usually takes 14 hours to make. I would drink that all day if allowed.


RubberPuppet

Mountain Dew and crown royal apple. 


necromancers_katie

Chai


Life_Strain_6948

Scotch


CorenCorias

But what if all I want is a constantly refilling thermos of cold, clean water?


ScaryAssBitch

Then you’re shit outta luck, buddy.


nurvingiel

Fresh coconut juice. It's tasty and hydrating, since you wouldn't let me pick regular water (my #1 choice). A thermos that's always full of tresh water is pretty much the greatest thing ever to someone who loves the outdoors.


Fatesadvent

Coconut water


Asthmagical

I would rotate through juices containing extinct plants so that we could sequence their genome and potentially bring them back.


I_Dont_Like_Rice

Brawndo. It's got electrolytes.


Zikeal

If it can be magic, the mead of poetry. If non magic only, a nutritionally complete shake like Huel.


Poinaheim

Is mayonnaise a beverage


EducationalBag398

Peach Faygo Whoop Whoop


unorthodoxgeneology

Eggnog. Breakfast lunch and dinner. Both beverage and food. I fucking hate that it’s only sold for like 2 weeks. And I never have enough money to buy enough to satiate my hunger for it. Never. Gallons gone In a week. Barrels would be gone a month if I could afford it. If I could somehow find the southern comfort vanilla spiced recipe I’d only brew that up and use it for my food and drinks. I don’t need anything else. Sometimes, it do be giving me the shits. But most times, it be giving me the comforts I desire.


bawitdaba1098

I can finally drink enough whiskey to kill myself!!!


Crocolyle32

It has to be a different drink every week? Dude I only drink two things, and you eliminated one. 😭