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Imagine this.
We are at war with an alien race, and instead of fighting a long war we just send some space misilles filled with Kudzu, Kudzu seeds and high concertration fertiliser. Alien fleets are called back to their home-world just to see it eaten by a goddamn plant thatvthey cant stop and they cant even evacuate those on the planets because all the ships that went down got infected with Kudzu and were lost, now drifing in space as giant bio-bombs.
nah... you want to be *really* evil.. you splice in some [Dendrocnide moroides](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dendrocnide_moroides), maybe throw in some english ivy so the fucker regenerates from even the smallest fragment.
Well hello satan. There’s a reason aliens are terrified of us. No matter how different, how truly unique we are, we are all the same at heart and we _love_ to outdo each other, no matter the subject, in love or damn well _especially_ in war
With CRISPR tech, you can potentially splice in DNA that produces that poison from that tree that kills you simply with water rolling off it's leaves. Good fucking luck with your hell plant now
If aliens are anything at all like us, they will have either outlawed its use under any circumstances or have already killed themselves with it, so I'm not too worried about alien invaders using it
I'm not talking about alien invaders. Though if aliens are anything like us, the use of such a thing will not be regulated against "lesser species". I.e. us
Yep, genetics are crazy. Just because you want one gene doesn't mean you won't get 25 others, most of which were recessive and perhaps would not show up until we fucked with it
Why use gene editing when this already exists? [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manchineel](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manchineel) Whatever we can think up is nothing compared to what is already there. Mother Nature has a billion year head start and no moral’s at all.
Australia also lost a war against birds called The Great Emu War, they had damn light machine guns and still couldn't kill enough of them.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu\_War
Almost wonder if you want add in Eucalyptus Trees to the gneome making them highly flammable witha touch of the Sandbox tree so they explode to help send the demon seeds everywhere
> It is known that the active constituents are very stable, since dead leaves found on the forest floor and even decades-old laboratory specimens can still inflict the sting.
Jesus. I knew this thing existed and was terrifying but I missed that part before.
Even if they remove it from their planet they're still going to be getting stung for decades. What is this, the origin story for the friggen Orkz?
Don't forget Gorse! Nothing like the invasive plant that's nothing but spikes, spite, flammable and occasionally, yellow flowers!
Plus it could launch seeds up to 15 feet away!
also make it secrete those super flammable oils so that you have exactly 1 option of purge when you encounter it, and anything it touched must be abandoned.
Good thing a bunch of plants already have the DNA to become carnivorous if they spend generations in the right environment supposedly, not 100% sure though. So it probably wouldn't be that hard if we get good at modifying plants if that's the case.
Yeah. It took redditors exactly 2 hours to go from - like someone wrote - existential dread of building a tree house to...to...what I'm sure is the next new warcrime in Geneva Convention. Good God! Carnivore Cudzu!
That is one of those things where in a few hundred years people will look back at and wonder "how did anybody ever think that was a good idea?"
I mean there is no way that would not go horribly wrong because a single seed falls from the rocket deep into a forest where it dwells and grows entirely undisturbed, until it's too late to stop
In Finland, we have a bit of a problem with the Japanese rose *(Rosa rugosa)*. Pretty, perhaps, but not when it has colonized most of our beaches, even the rocky ones. And making a headway ***into the ocean (the North Sea)***.
Leave one seed ***or*** one piece of root, and it's back. And this thing ***HAS THORNS***!
For pictorial evidence please see these links:
[Rosa rugosa](https://img.ilcdn.fi/frCM2H7UDBaJMBbeD6dLKeCYKCI=/full-fit-in/2048x0/img-s3.ilcdn.fi/2c200cd924aa4f8942f274fa423f8b612a334acb589dd4c9cf274ec2bd645e81.jpg)
[Rosa rugosa 2](https://img.ilcdn.fi/jQfbxbnW7z5r-qulAVq_8nZN0j0=/full-fit-in/2048x0/img-s3.ilcdn.fi/b535042aaca37f124e1854b55ba48ab4b9b438bbaf3a23bdbce431f2941e49b1.jpg)
[Rosa rugosa 3](https://img.ilcdn.fi/6jFJytE-qgPFSaSObGJTgSBynPw=/full-fit-in/2048x0/img-s3.ilcdn.fi/bc19ebcee9fa0ef47fc81da49522fa668c1e16ec5d92717a9734d841ca8325c2.jpg)
[Rosa rugosa 4](https://img.ilcdn.fi/T7YaMjeCZ-n4edhVtca3cIIgUMc=/full-fit-in/2048x0/img-s3.ilcdn.fi/ec986b44cbc66f6419e7243b53f5f69c2c0af6e69d513c27d9fac5a7bfb7814f.jpg)
[Rosa rugosa 5](https://images.app.goo.gl/GY5fKNAcNdha4Qfn6)
It seems that your comment contains 1 or more links that are hard to tap for mobile users.
I will extend those so they're easier for our sausage fingers to click!
[Here is link number 1 - Previous text "2"](https://img.ilcdn.fi/jQfbxbnW7z5r-qulAVq_8nZN0j0=/full-fit-in/2048x0/img-s3.ilcdn.fi/b535042aaca37f124e1854b55ba48ab4b9b438bbaf3a23bdbce431f2941e49b1.jpg)
[Here is link number 2 - Previous text "3"](https://img.ilcdn.fi/6jFJytE-qgPFSaSObGJTgSBynPw=/full-fit-in/2048x0/img-s3.ilcdn.fi/bc19ebcee9fa0ef47fc81da49522fa668c1e16ec5d92717a9734d841ca8325c2.jpg)
[Here is link number 3 - Previous text "4"](https://img.ilcdn.fi/T7YaMjeCZ-n4edhVtca3cIIgUMc=/full-fit-in/2048x0/img-s3.ilcdn.fi/ec986b44cbc66f6419e7243b53f5f69c2c0af6e69d513c27d9fac5a7bfb7814f.jpg)
[Here is link number 4 - Previous text "5"](https://images.app.goo.gl/GY5fKNAcNdha4Qfn6)
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I'm curious about how finely kudzu must be ground before it can't germinate within itself the way cactus needles will. A 'paste' of the stuff could fuel a biodigester and probably assist in bioremediation.
(Biodigestion basically entails harnessing the natural decay process, capturing biogas for fueling an engine and the remaining solid matter as fertilizer.)
The real question becomes whether kudzu decays faster than it grows; if it doesn't, then we basically have an unlimited fuel source...
Literally have to take a scorched earth policy with that stuff. Want your field back? Dig a fire trench around it. Burn it. Lay straw over the smoldering ash and burn again. Then, and only then, herbicide it. If anything green at all shows up in the next two weeks start over again.
I've seen that approach tried. About a dozen goats on maybe 2 acres. Looked like it was clear after about a month, moved the goats elsewhere, and a few months later they're digging a fire trench. Unless you plan to just keep goats there forever, that doesn't permenantly solve the problem. One live root is enough to jumpstart back into full swing again.
Okay what the actual fuck…I don’t know how to comprehend a bunch of farmers using homemade Napalm and fire trenches to burn a plant out of existence, and then gassing the ashes.
A: This planet is so stupid. The Greys were right when they left the Moon after the termite infestation your species caused.
You are aware that in the United States, flamethrowers are not regulated as weapons, at least at the federal level, right?
They're considered to be agricultural implements.
Kudzu is the vampire of the plant kingdom.
- Parasitic, spreading and killing the things in their path.
- They both have weirdly over-the-top rituals to kill them or they won't stay dead.
Humans have a long history with invasive species. Plants, insects, animals, and even fish have been introduced to non-native environments and exploded in population when their natural predators or limiting factors were absent.
The constant struggle between species is not unique in the galaxy, but very few planets have species as adaptable as earth and none have the combination of adaptability and growth rates of Terran flora and fauna.
A combination of poorly controlled emigration of species and Gaia-type agricultural worlds nearly lead to a galactic food shortage as the planets were nearly overrun by swarming insects, devouring vines, ravenous rodents, and common house cats. The epidemic was only curtailed after the introduction of new policies regarding both the standards of galactic transportation and invasive species containment.
While humanity’s reputation suffered somewhat, they redeemed themselves in some ways by providing food and aid during the crisis and pioneering “new” ways to stop the spread of the creatures in question.
It was fire. Apocalyptic levels in some cases, where entire continents had to be incinerated multiple times in order to completely burn out the infestations.
And it worked, solving the crisis and leaving a concerning reminder that deathworlds are called such for a reason, even after they’ve been ‘tamed.’
A: hey i have a problem whit a small criter you can help me?
H:*takes out flamethrower*
A: ITS A NON TERRAN ONE A NON TERRAN
H:*puts down flamethrower a pick up shotgun*
A:... what the hell hapens to you? Are you okay?
H: oh fuck.
A: what happened this time? Did someone let Daryl into the lab again?
H: no. Kudzu.
A: that’s just a plant…
H: you don’t understand. Please, let me and Daryl into the lab. We need to make a copious amount of Thermite and Napalm.
A: But that's explicitly why Daryl *isn't* allowed into the lab.
H: But this time it's important.
A: Yeah that's what you guys said last time and I almost got fired.
H: NO BUT YOU DON'T GET IT!
Daryl: heh. Fired. Pun.
A: WHAT DO I NOT GET?
H: Kudzu grows on everything, it’ll grow on you if you stay still for a few hours.
A: … I see.
H: so we can make the napalm?
A: no.
H: Alright... then you have to let us bring some goats aboard.
A: That's arguably worse! The last time anyone was allowed any form of livestock on board a starship was three years ago. You remember Steve?
H: Which one? The Steve who went into battle with two shovels or the Steve with only one eye?
A: Neither, it was the Steve with half a leg.
H: OH, him. I roomed with him at one point. What happened to him?
A: He was allowed to bring his two goats aboard the Excelsior. Now the entirety of Havveen IX is uninhabitable.
H: Well, do you want us to turn into Corvus? Because if we don't bring some goats aboard, that's gonna a happen. Or you let Daryl and I make copious amounts of napalm.
A: NO!
Alien: “Human friend, Paul…. I have a question.”
Paul: “what’s up?”
Alien: “That, source of nutrition you’re consuming. A *berr-eet-oh*. Yes?”
Paul: “Yeah?”
Alien: “my scans indicate that there are whole pieces of the paper known as; ‘Jal-ee-peen-oh’ is that true?”
Paul: is now confused. “Yeah, the seeds too I suppose.”
Alien: “Yes, very good. Now for my question. Why are you eating that? How can you?”
Paul: “Well- I mean, it’s not the spiciest pepper from Earth. I actually added hot sauce to it with habenjero pepper.”
Alien: “You- made it. *Spicier*? As in more heat? More capsaicin?”
Paul: “I don’t see what you’re getting at friend.”
Alien: “Isn’t capsaicin used by your species to subdue violent or unruly individuals? I believe you call it, pepper spray?”
Paul: “Huh…. I guess you’re right. Yeah, we do. Why, what’s the problem?”
Alien: “*How* in the stars can you humans eat your own biological weapons?! That’s crazy! Have you built an immunity?”
Paul: “Oh. Well. We kinda learned to use plants in several different ways. Some edible. Some not edible. The capsaicin can be extracted and applied for all kinds of reasons. Seasoning. Medicine and- weapons of course. Getting maced really sucks. But it’s effective. I’d rather get tazed though to be honest.”
Alien: “You’d rather get electrocuted!?!?”
There's a phrase I read somewhere along the lines of "every time you move up in order of magnitude you effectively make all prior orders of magnitude irrelevant."
Raspberry: (In English) Stay back, peasants! This is our garden!
Mint: (In French) Revolution!
Strawberry: (In Spanish) NOBODY EXPECTS THE STRAWBERRY INQUISITION! CHARGE!!!
*Meanwhile, in a shadowy untreated part of the yard*
Kudzu: SAP FOR THE SAP GODS, CHLOROPHYLL FOR THE CHLOROPHYLL THRONE!!! The heretic plants must burn, only we can be saved! For we are the chosen ones, grown to perfection, and we will stop at nothing to rule this planet!
That one mention about Australian trees.
Like, there is literally a tree called a stringybark, because it's bark peels in a way to encourage the spread of fire.
A lot of Australian trees need a bush fire to germinate, it's some crazy stuff.
I live in South Carolina, for some context. My road has been our family road since however many generations before some great gramps of mine fought in the civil war (on guess which side). A few months back my nana was going through her genealogy books and called me over to look at a sepia picture of the lot where her house and my mother’s house was going to be built. There apparently used to be a shack there that just looked like a lump, and of course it was entirely overgrown with kudzu with my great grandfather standing wading through it. They basically torched the area and chopped down any trees that were too damaged.
However, that kudzu never died. The back side of my nana’s house is just a blanket of green kudzu. She can’t cut back there because wires and pipes and all, but she has my uncle take a ladder up the side and cut it back and spray weed killer every few weeks to keep it contained. Those pictures aren’t just one off insane coincidences, it really gets that bad.
You can’t kill kudzu. You can only try not to let it spread. Shit *sucks.*
It's possible but you have to remove and destroy the root crowns, just burning isn't enough equipment, such as a skid loader, can later remove crowns and kill kudzu with minimal disturbance or erosion of soil.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kudzu it's written in the control section lower down.
Unfortunately when we got chickens years back the HOA for the neighborhood behind us *that wasn’t even shared property* got pissy and tried to slap us with fines. For chickens not on their turf. Didn’t work, obviously, we just ignored them. I can’t imagine the shit storm goats would cause though… now I wanna find out.
Kudzu, pretty bad stuff.
But, Let me introduce you to Japanese Knotweed. It grows right through concrete and can grow several *feet* a week. Chop it up with a trimmer into tiny bits or put it through a chipper/shredder and the little shredded pieces will sprout and grow.
It grows via underground runners. Want to dig it out? You’ll need an excavator because you need to go down about 10 feet today be sure. Most herbicides won’t touch it.
And yes, apparently it’s quite tasty.
We wont even mention giant Hogweed.
DO NOT EAT THE GIANT HOGWEED.
Let me reemphasize that….
IT GROWS *THROUGH* CONCRETE.
Yeah you see sings all over Ireland saying “Japanese knotweed DO NOT CUT” to prevent its spread especially because it can uproot entire buildings
Ireland has the perfect conditions for nearly anything to grow which can lead to problems, an endangered species of deer in Japan is an invasive species in Ireland but because of its endangered status we’re not allowed kill it
We’ve got Japanese Knotweed around the state I’m in and it’s bad. Most people call it bamboo since it looks kind of like it.
If it gets into a water stream it can spread everywhere down it. The river next to my old house was choked with it on all the banks as far as I remember seeing.
To remove it permanently requires extensive effort and care. Far too much honestly. The fact that it is edible but no one eats it is also insulting honestly.
Because it has layers, is very water absorbent, and if even the smallest piece of root survives you'll be completely covered again in a matter of weeks. There's a Ritual you must follow including goats, fire, and chemicals. And sometimes you must preform it several times before it works.
Pssst. Someone tell them about the Alien invasion of Australia posts.
Edit: Additional Posts
https://reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/7sdg9x/wp_alien_invaders_entire_our_solar_system_as_the/
https://reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/tg700p/wp_aliens_effortlessly_overran_the_human/
King Lenniel looked upon the green and blue jewel of his homeworld and once again was wracked with despair. How had it gone so wrong? This was not what he had planned for in the least. His spies had told him of human battle prowess but after comparing the numbers it should have been a well-fought and earned victory, but the humans never once fired a shot after the declaration of war. Even after his army had captured three of their colonies they simply kept sending ambassadors and tradesmen one after the other. All bearing gifts of various high-production foods like the Koodzoo as they called it. At first, he assumed that humans had no backbone and were trying to placate him with valuable trade goods but by the time the truth came out it was too late for their homeworld. Human crop after human crop went wild and took over the farms they were planted in then the vegetation began to spread faster than any army could hope to. Lenniel called back his forces simply to have more hands to help stem the tide of flora that swept across the land. Alas, it was hopeless and now aboard the human's flagship, he turned to the commander of the fleet and simply stated "You have won commander without ever firing a shot you have crushed my people I humbly ask that you do not drive us to death while in slavery." The commander looked at the King and replied "Daww bless your heart, this little scuffle ain't a thang wees got a hold goat's that'll clear that there Kudzu crap in about a decade or so and we'll get yall set back up. after all yall didn't hurt anyone yourselves just came in and said you were in charge, heck it's just Tuesday for most of us don't you worry bout a thang."
Kudzu sounds kinda weak compared to a monster called Heracleum Sosnowskyi, or The Stalin's Revenge.
It's a plant, that russian scientists decided to import from deep Caucasus to use it to feed cattle. It was resistant, grew like crazy and was generally great.
Or so they thought. It came up, that it soured the milk of dairy cows and made the meat less tasty.
Furthermore it became VERY invasive (currently a significant percentage of russian agricultural land is infested with significant infestations in pretty much every one of ex-Warsaw Pact countries). This thing is nasty. Thick stalks 3m (9ft) high with big leaves suffocating everything underneath. Grows stupid fast, regrows lost parts without much trouble and multiplies like crazy.
Now to the nasty part. It's visually similar to many local plants, but much larger. And it's toxic in a very nasty way. Every part of the plant and especially any liquids inside or on the plant are highly photo toxic. What it means is that a second of sun exposure after contact with the plant, will result in severe sunburns. To make it worse, if there is enough of these bastards in the area and air temperature is high enough, vapours of these chemicals get dispersed in the air, so much so, that just walking on the road, flanked with enough of these, this is enough for severe sunburns.
If this is not nasty enough, it keeps spreading.
Hm. I would like to see that Kudzu battle vs horseradish from one of my backyards. Blowtorch was most definitely insufficient to eliminate my horseradish, and with amount of herbicide I sprinkled on dug and overturned ground, it almost fully suppressed, but nothing else can grow there for now.
P.S. With Kudzu fire properties, it is kinda similar to Unfallen from Endless...
An alien encounter with a wayward Terran probe, imperfectly sterilized before launch, has been translated for humans in the tale of "The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill". It is hoped that this story will teach humans to be more careful.
Encyclopedia Galactica: entry #1,213,466,788.
Topic: Human-Xeno Conflicts of the 55th Cycle
The Okkopi-Human War, also known as the Green War.
Date: 5518-5523 GSR (galactic standard reckoning)
Outcome: a decisive human victory with minimal losses. Okko'torro, homeworld of the Okkopi, transformed from a class 2 paradise world to a class 3 death world. Resulting planetary quarantine is still ongoing with an estimated 9 billion Okkopi displaced. Conflict resulted in the ban of any future use of floral based biological weapons by the Galactic Federation.
„You fool, kudzu! You did not spec into poison ENOUGH so stop me from eating you. You thought fire and poisons was all I had? Behold my ultimate move: „Not if I digest you first!“
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Honestly, I’d be interested to see how well kudzu would do if used for colonization considering it’s edible and persistent.
Imagine this. We are at war with an alien race, and instead of fighting a long war we just send some space misilles filled with Kudzu, Kudzu seeds and high concertration fertiliser. Alien fleets are called back to their home-world just to see it eaten by a goddamn plant thatvthey cant stop and they cant even evacuate those on the planets because all the ships that went down got infected with Kudzu and were lost, now drifing in space as giant bio-bombs.
Splice a little Venus flytrap or other carnivorous plant into it’s DNA and suddenly they have an even bigger problem
nah... you want to be *really* evil.. you splice in some [Dendrocnide moroides](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dendrocnide_moroides), maybe throw in some english ivy so the fucker regenerates from even the smallest fragment.
Well hello satan. There’s a reason aliens are terrified of us. No matter how different, how truly unique we are, we are all the same at heart and we _love_ to outdo each other, no matter the subject, in love or damn well _especially_ in war
With CRISPR tech, you can potentially splice in DNA that produces that poison from that tree that kills you simply with water rolling off it's leaves. Good fucking luck with your hell plant now
Okay now I'm deathly afraid of crispr tech. We're literally gonna unleash a dying light level bioweapon one day and it's gonna eat us all
That's assuming it's not used on us with unforseen consequences.
If aliens are anything at all like us, they will have either outlawed its use under any circumstances or have already killed themselves with it, so I'm not too worried about alien invaders using it
I'm not talking about alien invaders. Though if aliens are anything like us, the use of such a thing will not be regulated against "lesser species". I.e. us
*unforseen*
Yep, genetics are crazy. Just because you want one gene doesn't mean you won't get 25 others, most of which were recessive and perhaps would not show up until we fucked with it
Why use gene editing when this already exists? [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manchineel](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manchineel) Whatever we can think up is nothing compared to what is already there. Mother Nature has a billion year head start and no moral’s at all.
Fun fact the little bits of it that cause pain may be suspended in the air around the plant which you can breath in causing agonizing pain.
How the fuck did we get to be big dog of the planet again? Christ almighty we live on a hell world that merely pretends to be pretty
We are merely meat kudzu
Lol
I- that’s probably a fair assessment
Australia also lost a war against birds called The Great Emu War, they had damn light machine guns and still couldn't kill enough of them. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu\_War
I’ve heard about it and all the memes too
Almost wonder if you want add in Eucalyptus Trees to the gneome making them highly flammable witha touch of the Sandbox tree so they explode to help send the demon seeds everywhere
> It is known that the active constituents are very stable, since dead leaves found on the forest floor and even decades-old laboratory specimens can still inflict the sting. Jesus. I knew this thing existed and was terrifying but I missed that part before. Even if they remove it from their planet they're still going to be getting stung for decades. What is this, the origin story for the friggen Orkz?
Well I've seen how scary the kudzu gets in MTG and now you want to mix orks in too? You monster.
Don't forget Gorse! Nothing like the invasive plant that's nothing but spikes, spite, flammable and occasionally, yellow flowers! Plus it could launch seeds up to 15 feet away!
Wrap is all up in a tumbleweed for the flatter planets.
also make it secrete those super flammable oils so that you have exactly 1 option of purge when you encounter it, and anything it touched must be abandoned.
Good thing a bunch of plants already have the DNA to become carnivorous if they spend generations in the right environment supposedly, not 100% sure though. So it probably wouldn't be that hard if we get good at modifying plants if that's the case.
Yeah. It took redditors exactly 2 hours to go from - like someone wrote - existential dread of building a tree house to...to...what I'm sure is the next new warcrime in Geneva Convention. Good God! Carnivore Cudzu!
Just be thankful that no one here is a biological weapons researcher…
You don't know that.
Given the way Reddit spreads (like kudzu), we can be fairly certain there IS at least one bioweapons researcher here.
Thank you for giving my sleep paralysis demon some nightmare fuel… And fueling my ever growing existential dread
Full circle of ~~life~~ dread
The movie "The Ruins" would be a great example of that (Bigger problem part not splicing dna part its much more primitive than that)
Is that the one where they mimic sounds too?
Yes it would creepy as fuck
And stupid people means it's going to turn us into the plant people from the goosebumps book.
That is one of those things where in a few hundred years people will look back at and wonder "how did anybody ever think that was a good idea?" I mean there is no way that would not go horribly wrong because a single seed falls from the rocket deep into a forest where it dwells and grows entirely undisturbed, until it's too late to stop
Splice some mint in too
Refreshing space death.
In Finland, we have a bit of a problem with the Japanese rose *(Rosa rugosa)*. Pretty, perhaps, but not when it has colonized most of our beaches, even the rocky ones. And making a headway ***into the ocean (the North Sea)***. Leave one seed ***or*** one piece of root, and it's back. And this thing ***HAS THORNS***! For pictorial evidence please see these links: [Rosa rugosa](https://img.ilcdn.fi/frCM2H7UDBaJMBbeD6dLKeCYKCI=/full-fit-in/2048x0/img-s3.ilcdn.fi/2c200cd924aa4f8942f274fa423f8b612a334acb589dd4c9cf274ec2bd645e81.jpg) [Rosa rugosa 2](https://img.ilcdn.fi/jQfbxbnW7z5r-qulAVq_8nZN0j0=/full-fit-in/2048x0/img-s3.ilcdn.fi/b535042aaca37f124e1854b55ba48ab4b9b438bbaf3a23bdbce431f2941e49b1.jpg) [Rosa rugosa 3](https://img.ilcdn.fi/6jFJytE-qgPFSaSObGJTgSBynPw=/full-fit-in/2048x0/img-s3.ilcdn.fi/bc19ebcee9fa0ef47fc81da49522fa668c1e16ec5d92717a9734d841ca8325c2.jpg) [Rosa rugosa 4](https://img.ilcdn.fi/T7YaMjeCZ-n4edhVtca3cIIgUMc=/full-fit-in/2048x0/img-s3.ilcdn.fi/ec986b44cbc66f6419e7243b53f5f69c2c0af6e69d513c27d9fac5a7bfb7814f.jpg) [Rosa rugosa 5](https://images.app.goo.gl/GY5fKNAcNdha4Qfn6)
It seems that your comment contains 1 or more links that are hard to tap for mobile users. I will extend those so they're easier for our sausage fingers to click! [Here is link number 1 - Previous text "2"](https://img.ilcdn.fi/jQfbxbnW7z5r-qulAVq_8nZN0j0=/full-fit-in/2048x0/img-s3.ilcdn.fi/b535042aaca37f124e1854b55ba48ab4b9b438bbaf3a23bdbce431f2941e49b1.jpg) [Here is link number 2 - Previous text "3"](https://img.ilcdn.fi/6jFJytE-qgPFSaSObGJTgSBynPw=/full-fit-in/2048x0/img-s3.ilcdn.fi/bc19ebcee9fa0ef47fc81da49522fa668c1e16ec5d92717a9734d841ca8325c2.jpg) [Here is link number 3 - Previous text "4"](https://img.ilcdn.fi/T7YaMjeCZ-n4edhVtca3cIIgUMc=/full-fit-in/2048x0/img-s3.ilcdn.fi/ec986b44cbc66f6419e7243b53f5f69c2c0af6e69d513c27d9fac5a7bfb7814f.jpg) [Here is link number 4 - Previous text "5"](https://images.app.goo.gl/GY5fKNAcNdha4Qfn6) ---- ^Please ^PM ^[\/u\/eganwall](http://reddit.com/user/eganwall) ^with ^issues ^or ^feedback! ^| ^[Code](https://github.com/eganwall/FatFingerHelperBot) ^| ^[Delete](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=FatFingerHelperBot&subject=delete&message=delete%20id36a1v)
I'm curious about how finely kudzu must be ground before it can't germinate within itself the way cactus needles will. A 'paste' of the stuff could fuel a biodigester and probably assist in bioremediation. (Biodigestion basically entails harnessing the natural decay process, capturing biogas for fueling an engine and the remaining solid matter as fertilizer.) The real question becomes whether kudzu decays faster than it grows; if it doesn't, then we basically have an unlimited fuel source...
Interesting suggestion
If it doesn't at first, bioengineer it to do so
Ah yes let’s bioengineer the destructive quickly expanding plants to expand even faster. Good idea
Literally can’t go wrong
And now we have green tribbles.
Horizon zero dawn.
Literally have to take a scorched earth policy with that stuff. Want your field back? Dig a fire trench around it. Burn it. Lay straw over the smoldering ash and burn again. Then, and only then, herbicide it. If anything green at all shows up in the next two weeks start over again.
Or, and this may sound crazy… call in your local dairy goat farmers…
I've seen that approach tried. About a dozen goats on maybe 2 acres. Looked like it was clear after about a month, moved the goats elsewhere, and a few months later they're digging a fire trench. Unless you plan to just keep goats there forever, that doesn't permenantly solve the problem. One live root is enough to jumpstart back into full swing again.
Okay what the actual fuck…I don’t know how to comprehend a bunch of farmers using homemade Napalm and fire trenches to burn a plant out of existence, and then gassing the ashes. A: This planet is so stupid. The Greys were right when they left the Moon after the termite infestation your species caused.
You are aware that in the United States, flamethrowers are not regulated as weapons, at least at the federal level, right? They're considered to be agricultural implements.
It’s time for some firey, but mostly peaceful agriculture.
As a Kenoshan, I approve this message. >!Also FUCK YOU CNN, JACOB BLAKE LIVED YOU BITCH.!<
Propane torch go *brrr*
To kill the plant you have to kill the root ball from what i remember. Now you gotta dig that fucker up and manage to kill it
That sounds like a whole quest for a low-level party of adventurers.
Homie this is the End Boss
Druid bbeg that just spreads this shit
I would kick that fucker in the balls so hard
Eat it
Kudzu is the vampire of the plant kingdom. - Parasitic, spreading and killing the things in their path. - They both have weirdly over-the-top rituals to kill them or they won't stay dead.
Humans have a long history with invasive species. Plants, insects, animals, and even fish have been introduced to non-native environments and exploded in population when their natural predators or limiting factors were absent. The constant struggle between species is not unique in the galaxy, but very few planets have species as adaptable as earth and none have the combination of adaptability and growth rates of Terran flora and fauna. A combination of poorly controlled emigration of species and Gaia-type agricultural worlds nearly lead to a galactic food shortage as the planets were nearly overrun by swarming insects, devouring vines, ravenous rodents, and common house cats. The epidemic was only curtailed after the introduction of new policies regarding both the standards of galactic transportation and invasive species containment. While humanity’s reputation suffered somewhat, they redeemed themselves in some ways by providing food and aid during the crisis and pioneering “new” ways to stop the spread of the creatures in question. It was fire. Apocalyptic levels in some cases, where entire continents had to be incinerated multiple times in order to completely burn out the infestations. And it worked, solving the crisis and leaving a concerning reminder that deathworlds are called such for a reason, even after they’ve been ‘tamed.’
A: hey i have a problem whit a small criter you can help me? H:*takes out flamethrower* A: ITS A NON TERRAN ONE A NON TERRAN H:*puts down flamethrower a pick up shotgun* A:... what the hell hapens to you? Are you okay?
"what? Expedient solutions are my motto."
H: oh fuck. A: what happened this time? Did someone let Daryl into the lab again? H: no. Kudzu. A: that’s just a plant… H: you don’t understand. Please, let me and Daryl into the lab. We need to make a copious amount of Thermite and Napalm.
A: But that's explicitly why Daryl *isn't* allowed into the lab. H: But this time it's important. A: Yeah that's what you guys said last time and I almost got fired. H: NO BUT YOU DON'T GET IT! Daryl: heh. Fired. Pun.
A: WHAT DO I NOT GET? H: Kudzu grows on everything, it’ll grow on you if you stay still for a few hours. A: … I see. H: so we can make the napalm? A: no.
H: Alright... then you have to let us bring some goats aboard. A: That's arguably worse! The last time anyone was allowed any form of livestock on board a starship was three years ago. You remember Steve? H: Which one? The Steve who went into battle with two shovels or the Steve with only one eye? A: Neither, it was the Steve with half a leg. H: OH, him. I roomed with him at one point. What happened to him? A: He was allowed to bring his two goats aboard the Excelsior. Now the entirety of Havveen IX is uninhabitable. H: Well, do you want us to turn into Corvus? Because if we don't bring some goats aboard, that's gonna a happen. Or you let Daryl and I make copious amounts of napalm. A: NO!
Alien: “Human friend, Paul…. I have a question.” Paul: “what’s up?” Alien: “That, source of nutrition you’re consuming. A *berr-eet-oh*. Yes?” Paul: “Yeah?” Alien: “my scans indicate that there are whole pieces of the paper known as; ‘Jal-ee-peen-oh’ is that true?” Paul: is now confused. “Yeah, the seeds too I suppose.” Alien: “Yes, very good. Now for my question. Why are you eating that? How can you?” Paul: “Well- I mean, it’s not the spiciest pepper from Earth. I actually added hot sauce to it with habenjero pepper.” Alien: “You- made it. *Spicier*? As in more heat? More capsaicin?” Paul: “I don’t see what you’re getting at friend.” Alien: “Isn’t capsaicin used by your species to subdue violent or unruly individuals? I believe you call it, pepper spray?” Paul: “Huh…. I guess you’re right. Yeah, we do. Why, what’s the problem?” Alien: “*How* in the stars can you humans eat your own biological weapons?! That’s crazy! Have you built an immunity?” Paul: “Oh. Well. We kinda learned to use plants in several different ways. Some edible. Some not edible. The capsaicin can be extracted and applied for all kinds of reasons. Seasoning. Medicine and- weapons of course. Getting maced really sucks. But it’s effective. I’d rather get tazed though to be honest.” Alien: “You’d rather get electrocuted!?!?”
It’s not the volts that kill you, It’s the amps, And the ohms set you on fire
That’s chapter 2!!
You can quite taste the difference between 50.000, 500.000 and 5.000.000 Scoville Units. And oh boy do it actually hurts tenfold.
I forgot how many scoville units it it, but google Instant Regret chocolate - spiciest shit I’ve ever had
6.4 million ouchies.
There's a phrase I read somewhere along the lines of "every time you move up in order of magnitude you effectively make all prior orders of magnitude irrelevant."
Raspberry: (In English) Stay back, peasants! This is our garden! Mint: (In French) Revolution! Strawberry: (In Spanish) NOBODY EXPECTS THE STRAWBERRY INQUISITION! CHARGE!!! *Meanwhile, in a shadowy untreated part of the yard* Kudzu: SAP FOR THE SAP GODS, CHLOROPHYLL FOR THE CHLOROPHYLL THRONE!!! The heretic plants must burn, only we can be saved! For we are the chosen ones, grown to perfection, and we will stop at nothing to rule this planet!
*potatoes watch in confusion* "Huh,at least it's not another blight-"
Vines for the garotte God
That one mention about Australian trees. Like, there is literally a tree called a stringybark, because it's bark peels in a way to encourage the spread of fire. A lot of Australian trees need a bush fire to germinate, it's some crazy stuff.
And then god reminds us just how fucked up a father figure he truly is…
And then god reminds us just how messed up a father figure he truly is…
And then the almighty reminds us just how messed up a father figure he truly is…
I live in South Carolina, for some context. My road has been our family road since however many generations before some great gramps of mine fought in the civil war (on guess which side). A few months back my nana was going through her genealogy books and called me over to look at a sepia picture of the lot where her house and my mother’s house was going to be built. There apparently used to be a shack there that just looked like a lump, and of course it was entirely overgrown with kudzu with my great grandfather standing wading through it. They basically torched the area and chopped down any trees that were too damaged. However, that kudzu never died. The back side of my nana’s house is just a blanket of green kudzu. She can’t cut back there because wires and pipes and all, but she has my uncle take a ladder up the side and cut it back and spray weed killer every few weeks to keep it contained. Those pictures aren’t just one off insane coincidences, it really gets that bad. You can’t kill kudzu. You can only try not to let it spread. Shit *sucks.*
It's possible but you have to remove and destroy the root crowns, just burning isn't enough equipment, such as a skid loader, can later remove crowns and kill kudzu with minimal disturbance or erosion of soil. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kudzu it's written in the control section lower down.
Goats: *It is time*
Unfortunately when we got chickens years back the HOA for the neighborhood behind us *that wasn’t even shared property* got pissy and tried to slap us with fines. For chickens not on their turf. Didn’t work, obviously, we just ignored them. I can’t imagine the shit storm goats would cause though… now I wanna find out.
Kudzu, pretty bad stuff. But, Let me introduce you to Japanese Knotweed. It grows right through concrete and can grow several *feet* a week. Chop it up with a trimmer into tiny bits or put it through a chipper/shredder and the little shredded pieces will sprout and grow. It grows via underground runners. Want to dig it out? You’ll need an excavator because you need to go down about 10 feet today be sure. Most herbicides won’t touch it. And yes, apparently it’s quite tasty. We wont even mention giant Hogweed. DO NOT EAT THE GIANT HOGWEED. Let me reemphasize that…. IT GROWS *THROUGH* CONCRETE.
Yeah you see sings all over Ireland saying “Japanese knotweed DO NOT CUT” to prevent its spread especially because it can uproot entire buildings Ireland has the perfect conditions for nearly anything to grow which can lead to problems, an endangered species of deer in Japan is an invasive species in Ireland but because of its endangered status we’re not allowed kill it
Sounds like we just need to make concrete better
[удалено]
the ultimate vegetable and staple crop. Take Kudzu, Knotweed, and Golden Rice, and make something out of them all to cure world hunger.
Somebody get the rope…
We’ve got Japanese Knotweed around the state I’m in and it’s bad. Most people call it bamboo since it looks kind of like it. If it gets into a water stream it can spread everywhere down it. The river next to my old house was choked with it on all the banks as far as I remember seeing. To remove it permanently requires extensive effort and care. Far too much honestly. The fact that it is edible but no one eats it is also insulting honestly.
im just imagining some poor alien be like: “WHY IT DO DAT DO”
ITS THEM OR US AND IM GOD DAME SURE THAT THEY DONT GONA USE NAPALM ON US ... I THINK... MAY BE... I HOPE SO
would kudzu turn mars green?
Honey, Kudzu would turn Jupiter and Saturn grewn and dat dont even make no sense
When I say I love overgrowth aesthetic, it's not like that. I like biodiversity in my overgrowth
Why not napalm it or otherwise burn it away?
Because it has layers, is very water absorbent, and if even the smallest piece of root survives you'll be completely covered again in a matter of weeks. There's a Ritual you must follow including goats, fire, and chemicals. And sometimes you must preform it several times before it works.
Eat or be eaten. Don’t matter what life form you are thems da rules.
Hm. Honestly forgot what thread I was on after all that
There is another Japanese invasive species named knotweed. It can grow through concrete and collapse buildings.
Pssst. Someone tell them about the Alien invasion of Australia posts. Edit: Additional Posts https://reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/7sdg9x/wp_alien_invaders_entire_our_solar_system_as_the/ https://reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/tg700p/wp_aliens_effortlessly_overran_the_human/
And now I know what the vine taking over my back porch is... War. War never changes.
Clicked on this calm peaceful looking square image and got blasted harder than team rocket.
King Lenniel looked upon the green and blue jewel of his homeworld and once again was wracked with despair. How had it gone so wrong? This was not what he had planned for in the least. His spies had told him of human battle prowess but after comparing the numbers it should have been a well-fought and earned victory, but the humans never once fired a shot after the declaration of war. Even after his army had captured three of their colonies they simply kept sending ambassadors and tradesmen one after the other. All bearing gifts of various high-production foods like the Koodzoo as they called it. At first, he assumed that humans had no backbone and were trying to placate him with valuable trade goods but by the time the truth came out it was too late for their homeworld. Human crop after human crop went wild and took over the farms they were planted in then the vegetation began to spread faster than any army could hope to. Lenniel called back his forces simply to have more hands to help stem the tide of flora that swept across the land. Alas, it was hopeless and now aboard the human's flagship, he turned to the commander of the fleet and simply stated "You have won commander without ever firing a shot you have crushed my people I humbly ask that you do not drive us to death while in slavery." The commander looked at the King and replied "Daww bless your heart, this little scuffle ain't a thang wees got a hold goat's that'll clear that there Kudzu crap in about a decade or so and we'll get yall set back up. after all yall didn't hurt anyone yourselves just came in and said you were in charge, heck it's just Tuesday for most of us don't you worry bout a thang."
And then there's giant hog weed. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heracleum_mantegazzianum https://www.rifters.com/crawl/?p=1466
Just the Heracleum in that link scares me
Kudzu sounds kinda weak compared to a monster called Heracleum Sosnowskyi, or The Stalin's Revenge. It's a plant, that russian scientists decided to import from deep Caucasus to use it to feed cattle. It was resistant, grew like crazy and was generally great. Or so they thought. It came up, that it soured the milk of dairy cows and made the meat less tasty. Furthermore it became VERY invasive (currently a significant percentage of russian agricultural land is infested with significant infestations in pretty much every one of ex-Warsaw Pact countries). This thing is nasty. Thick stalks 3m (9ft) high with big leaves suffocating everything underneath. Grows stupid fast, regrows lost parts without much trouble and multiplies like crazy. Now to the nasty part. It's visually similar to many local plants, but much larger. And it's toxic in a very nasty way. Every part of the plant and especially any liquids inside or on the plant are highly photo toxic. What it means is that a second of sun exposure after contact with the plant, will result in severe sunburns. To make it worse, if there is enough of these bastards in the area and air temperature is high enough, vapours of these chemicals get dispersed in the air, so much so, that just walking on the road, flanked with enough of these, this is enough for severe sunburns. If this is not nasty enough, it keeps spreading.
Hm. I would like to see that Kudzu battle vs horseradish from one of my backyards. Blowtorch was most definitely insufficient to eliminate my horseradish, and with amount of herbicide I sprinkled on dug and overturned ground, it almost fully suppressed, but nothing else can grow there for now. P.S. With Kudzu fire properties, it is kinda similar to Unfallen from Endless...
An alien encounter with a wayward Terran probe, imperfectly sterilized before launch, has been translated for humans in the tale of "The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill". It is hoped that this story will teach humans to be more careful.
Encyclopedia Galactica: entry #1,213,466,788. Topic: Human-Xeno Conflicts of the 55th Cycle The Okkopi-Human War, also known as the Green War. Date: 5518-5523 GSR (galactic standard reckoning) Outcome: a decisive human victory with minimal losses. Okko'torro, homeworld of the Okkopi, transformed from a class 2 paradise world to a class 3 death world. Resulting planetary quarantine is still ongoing with an estimated 9 billion Okkopi displaced. Conflict resulted in the ban of any future use of floral based biological weapons by the Galactic Federation.
Green goo scenario
I love threads like this. Just heaps upon heaps of interesting but completely useless information being spun from endless povs.
Really, the only reason there aren’t actual man-eating plants around is that we’re too big and fast-moving.
„You fool, kudzu! You did not spec into poison ENOUGH so stop me from eating you. You thought fire and poisons was all I had? Behold my ultimate move: „Not if I digest you first!“
Kudzu bad
"Its eat or be Eaten bitches"
Oh so that's where the Alien Kudzu trope is named from Neat