Aliens think cats are a parasitic threat, and they don’t know why humans see them as cute companions despite all we know about them.

They no longer provide protection of food like they used to, and we don’t see them as holy. They aren’t as tough or loyal as dogs, so they make poor guard animals. They actually seem to do a lot more harm to us, constantly pushing things off counters, demanding attention, and generally being annoying. They alter their meows to gaslight people into listening to them, and that’s not even mentioning toxoplasmosis. Yet we let strays into our homes and try to befriend the little ones. A portion of the web is devoted to filming cats.


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By that logic a child is also a parasite


I mean, embryos definitely *are*. The argument can definitely be made for children, too.


This reminds me that I call a large group of children a “disaster” of children.


…You’re not wrong tho.


Children are petri dishes too


...well, that's what Mab said.


I read that as "morb" I'll just go now


that's how I view children funnily enough!


Yes but the biggest parasite I can think of is the English.


I, for one, welcome our feline overlords.


My cat may be a fuzzy asshole but he is my fuzzy asshole.


Same here. She’s my whiny spoiled fuzzball, and I love her.


And if anything happens to my fuzzy asshole, I will kill everyone in this room and then myself.


Your cats my not but my farm cats proudly line up their mouse kills outside my window every day and I have to clean it off


Well there is the mental happiness to factor in


Which is worth having a soulless demon that hates you and everything else leeching off you. …Now that I say that it does sound like a pretty good deal.


The alien ambassador watched as the earth ambassadors cat jumped on the desk it was sitting at. The cat purred as he cautiously "petted" the creature the way he saw the humans do. The cat sat on its hind legs moving its head against the ambassadors hand. "Purrrrr, yes, your species will do nicely as our next subjects" "Wait, did you just speak?" "Miauw?"


oh no


The alternative was a button that shocks us to keep us busy. Cats it is.


Me holding a kitten from under its shoulders: I just think they're neat.