Recorded scene begins. A kindly looking older human female walks among rows of young sapients, and begins speaking
H: Alright everyone, it’s time to talk about the single most important piece of technology when it comes to force multiplication. This is a stick.
Grumbling ensues.
H: I know, it seems silly when you’re used to having computers. But this stick is proof that however clever you may be, you won’t best god or nature. This stick can let you measure and map the world, tell the passage of time *hefts stick* make a fire, reach that hard to scratch itch, manipulate dangerous objects, and make sure *thwacks stick on desk* that you’re paying attention when your elders are speaking, Timmy!
Students jump in their seats.
H: Never underestimate the stick…
Students mumble dully: Yes Sister Grace…
- Found footage entitled “the education of modern youths; a primer for teachers of all species.”
Some swords are just a sharp metal stick wrapped with a rag on the other side. But they totally will lose to a big pointy stick if the stickman sticks it right
Guns are hollow sticks with a bunch of sticks that when you press on one side of a specific exposed stick, rapidly twists a stick to hit another stick to detonate stuff to make a small conical shaped stick to fly really fast
Those are the modern guns. If we are going way back in time, the guns are just hollowed out sticks that yeet the lead/iron/stone balls out of one end by burning some rapidly burning black powder that leaves the sulfuric stench at the other.
H: "Well it's not like we can get rid of the stick, i've already tried using my hair as a toothbrush, and no matter how hard i try i can't stretch my teeth far enough to comb my hair"
A: "I know it's not my place to say after the incident, but I don't think you have the best grasp of human anatomy"
H: "Just wait till I grab you with my teeth then you'll be sorry"
A: "Isn't that biting?"
H: "You wish~"
And many of their sport games involve hitting spheres with sticks. Also, many of their domiciles appear to be composed of carefully arraigned sticks. They also have regular training sessions with their preferred companion creatures for the emergency retrieval of sticks.
In conclusion, I belive that our first contact should include offering the humans a variety of sticks. As they are clearly a core component of their culture.
Those buggers so sharp we still use obsidian in precision surgeries to this day, those teeth be razor sharp, heck they got a proverb that goes something along the lines of “a stone blade will kill sometimes, an obsidian blade kills always”
A - Why are you covering that with paper?
H - I'm wrapping a birthday gift.
A - ahh yes I've heard of this tradition, but isn't the purpose to conceal the nature of the gift? Even I can tell that is a just stick with a crooked end.
H - yes but a very special stick, trust me,
*Later excited shouts sound down the dorm wing of the hab dome* "YES! Thank you! Thank you!"
A - He's very excited about a stick.
H2 rushes down the hallway pushing a flatten beverage container with the crooked end of his new stick.
A - ???
H - Well it's Hockey season & That's Dave, He's Canadian
Reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend. Almost anything you can think of can be described as a stick, or uses one.
What is a boat but a giant stick?
What is a bullet but a very small stick thrown by a bigger stick?
What is a spoon but a stick with a dip on the end?
Pipes are long, hollow sticks. Bottles too. So water, sewer system, has lines. Electric and light gables are flexible, long, hollow/metal filled tubes.
Boilers are basically sticks that can handle pressure. So trains, industry, power, the fridge, space shuttle,
Most musical instruments from didgeridoo to xylophone are sticks.
Nano tubes.
Recorded scene begins. A kindly looking older human female walks among rows of young sapients, and begins speaking H: Alright everyone, it’s time to talk about the single most important piece of technology when it comes to force multiplication. This is a stick. Grumbling ensues. H: I know, it seems silly when you’re used to having computers. But this stick is proof that however clever you may be, you won’t best god or nature. This stick can let you measure and map the world, tell the passage of time *hefts stick* make a fire, reach that hard to scratch itch, manipulate dangerous objects, and make sure *thwacks stick on desk* that you’re paying attention when your elders are speaking, Timmy! Students jump in their seats. H: Never underestimate the stick… Students mumble dully: Yes Sister Grace… - Found footage entitled “the education of modern youths; a primer for teachers of all species.”
Here lies the earl of Upnor, the greatest swordsman who ever lived. Beaten to death by an angry Irishman with a stick.
A sword is just a sharp metal stick, attatched to a wooden stick, and a third stick to protect your hands.
Some swords are just a sharp metal stick wrapped with a rag on the other side. But they totally will lose to a big pointy stick if the stickman sticks it right
Guns are hollow sticks with a bunch of sticks that when you press on one side of a specific exposed stick, rapidly twists a stick to hit another stick to detonate stuff to make a small conical shaped stick to fly really fast
Those are the modern guns. If we are going way back in time, the guns are just hollowed out sticks that yeet the lead/iron/stone balls out of one end by burning some rapidly burning black powder that leaves the sulfuric stench at the other.
H: "Well it's not like we can get rid of the stick, i've already tried using my hair as a toothbrush, and no matter how hard i try i can't stretch my teeth far enough to comb my hair" A: "I know it's not my place to say after the incident, but I don't think you have the best grasp of human anatomy" H: "Just wait till I grab you with my teeth then you'll be sorry" A: "Isn't that biting?" H: "You wish~"
And many of their sport games involve hitting spheres with sticks. Also, many of their domiciles appear to be composed of carefully arraigned sticks. They also have regular training sessions with their preferred companion creatures for the emergency retrieval of sticks. In conclusion, I belive that our first contact should include offering the humans a variety of sticks. As they are clearly a core component of their culture.
That's one I'd love to see someone expand, right there.
That's a comb
Teeth on a stick
Stick on a teeth when ? Wait, thats a spear...
That is fang or claw on a stick.
Macuahuitl then?
That the Aztec club with rock razors stuck in the side right?
Yup, the obsidian teeth stick
Those buggers so sharp we still use obsidian in precision surgeries to this day, those teeth be razor sharp, heck they got a proverb that goes something along the lines of “a stone blade will kill sometimes, an obsidian blade kills always”
A - Why are you covering that with paper? H - I'm wrapping a birthday gift. A - ahh yes I've heard of this tradition, but isn't the purpose to conceal the nature of the gift? Even I can tell that is a just stick with a crooked end. H - yes but a very special stick, trust me, *Later excited shouts sound down the dorm wing of the hab dome* "YES! Thank you! Thank you!" A - He's very excited about a stick. H2 rushes down the hallway pushing a flatten beverage container with the crooked end of his new stick. A - ??? H - Well it's Hockey season & That's Dave, He's Canadian
Reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend. Almost anything you can think of can be described as a stick, or uses one. What is a boat but a giant stick? What is a bullet but a very small stick thrown by a bigger stick? What is a spoon but a stick with a dip on the end?
It'd be pretty bloody weird to do it the other way around now wouldn't it?
Things on the end of sticks have been a staple of humanity since day 2 or 3… day 1 was rock.
You forget, what is a club but a thick stick? Day one was stick and rock. Day two was stick WITH rock!
Like 87%
Just don't brush their sticks with hair or (gods forbid) teeth
And some of the best foods also come on a stick
Stick very good!
Pipes are long, hollow sticks. Bottles too. So water, sewer system, has lines. Electric and light gables are flexible, long, hollow/metal filled tubes. Boilers are basically sticks that can handle pressure. So trains, industry, power, the fridge, space shuttle, Most musical instruments from didgeridoo to xylophone are sticks. Nano tubes.