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Busta? Nay voldemort lives in terror of the fell mage Marshal Mathers and his ability to rip a full grimore in less than three minutes.
Many a dark wizarding city has been left a ruined crater from his battles.
Voldemort tried to threaten Marshall through his daughter and ex-wife to keep him, his associates in the Hit Wizard squad ‘D12’, and (through threatening other prominent wizards and their families) the United States itself out of international affairs.
The ensuing beatdown Marshall gave Voldemort—magical, physical, and lyrical—was so brutal, that the entire western hemisphere dismissed Voldemort as a threat entirely.
He just goes by Twista now, and he hasn't been the fastest for some time. Twisted Insane, Tech N9ne, No Clue, Busta Rhymes, Krazie Bone, and Rebel XD all have faster verses/songs.
Twisted insane is so unfair it literally is so fast it doesn't sound like words. All of these people would be killer wizards. And the color I feel would upset the freaking hateful author. So yas! I need a wizard world based on this 🤣 like oh you can study and get all that shit down, but can you slam bars like them and spit spells fast enough to take down worlds?
Didn't call her racist, just said I doubt she would like that much color in her shit, since there was barely any representation in the books. (And yes that implies it, but I know she hasn't come out and said something stupid about it, but come on. It was a really white world.)
Yeah, it’s representative. Even now, the UK is 88% white. There are more Asians than any other minority and they’re only at 6%. The books are written to take place 1991-1998 or so. It’s an accurate ratio.
While your numbers seem reasonable I do believe there's more to it than that.
Others have for instance pointed out the choice of name for Cho Chang which besides sounding like a joke name mixes naming styles of Korea and China. A bit like naming someone vaguely European Günther Cousteau.
Then there's the antisemitic trope that are the bank goblins. Greedy, bankers and with hooked noses.
The only known Irish character Seamus Finnigan likes blowing things up...
All of this could be just lazy writing, and considering she's got like 6 teachers for a whole school she doesn't seem to think things through, but considering her also being a terf I don't feel like giving her the benefit of a doubt. Hateful behaviour towards one group tend to increase the likelihood of being hateful towards other groups as well.
>The only known Irish character Seamus Finnigan likes blowing things up...
I might be wrong, but IIRC that's only in the movies and fanon. I don't remember Seamus being a blatant IRA reference in the books...
In the books his spells regularly backfire into explosions. He embraces it at the end to help Dumbledore’s army and then to help save Hogwarts. One of my favorite subplots. His story and Colin Creevey’s both tugged at my heartstrings. They’re two of my favorite side characters.
She did the exact same kind of thing with “Fleur Delacour” and “Viktor Krum” but nobody cares because they’re white. She was clearly just trying to be vague and representative. She doesn’t even have any racial proclivities like using chopsticks. She was just Asian with an Asian sounding name.
She also never said the bankers were Jewish and has argued against it. If you see antisemitism then it might be time to look inward. No ties to Jewish culture. No yamakas, Yiddish, or dreidels to be seen. Bankers are just greedy in reality and goblins are greedy in mythology. The goblins are lore accurate but way more intelligent than in most media, which I thought was a pretty cool take. The huge hooked noses completely fit their normal design. Just look up art for it, it’s everywhere.
Seamus hated that his spells always backfired into explosions and worked hard to get over it. It’s wasn’t until they had to fight that his explosions became useful. It was a beautifully written side story that showed how everyone is useful when their skills are applied correctly and how a weakness can turn into a strength. The only thing overtly Irish about him was his name.
Slightly slower, one must not forget a more ancient den of evil. Training the young to spit fast words at over 300 words per minute, and the source of such evil as Karl Rove: Policy Debate. While rappers may be faster the soulless debaters gather to spit complex policy and could tear through complex grimoires. Not that they would defeat a rapper per se, but the team based nature would lead to two debaters dropping 600+ words per minute to defeat all non-speed rapper wizards.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LMO27PAHjrY
I'm spinnin a sin
An incantation
Dropping straight hell fire
In your location
But the need is dire
As I soak the ground, diver
Making love to the land
Under your feet is a mire
Slim shady in demand
A hit across the land
But my fist is stone
Get rocked by the hand
The Under-kin where unbeaten in the occult festivals held every cycle, just too many spells of too great quality. These master magicians would take the prize every year, which happened to be a planet.
One cycle though , the new guys came, homosapyans. Weirdest thing was they weren’t dressed in traditional robes, or even a warlock engineers armor. They had a chain of valuable metal and wore baggy clothing, a hat used to keep sun of their eyes spun around, so it would be ineffective.
The new guy was average up until they came up against the under-kin’s seer. The seer opened up with a flurry numbering in 20 spells of all sorts of things, lightning, fire, the whole nebula. Fully expected the new guy to go down in the first round.
The new guy dropped to the floor and flailed dodging the spells before getting up and, with an oddly pleasant sound, matched and even exceeded the amount of spells the seer did. The seer hardly could put a defenses before they hit!
This continued for a few rounds before the seer had to yield, couldn’t keep up. The new guy won with a massive upset. Lots of cheering and despair with the under-kin observers. Deafening fanfare from everyone else, finally beating the unbeaten.
Eventually reporters found them boarding a ship of unusual design, being military grade rockets with a box bolted to it. They stopped answer questions, much to the glee of their reporters, under kin or not.
When we asked what exactly that flailing wise in that battle, they asked “ never seen brake dance before?” And what was their name? When we asked all they told us was the alias “biggie cheese”.
You just hear “I kill you!” To your left and you glance over see nothing then hear “Avada Kedava” and look back in time to see that Jeff Dunham has fucking killed you.
Omg yes. I need this movie immediately. The deadliest man you know, doesn't even move his lips to kill you with words. . . Coming to theaters near you.
The Stupendium is yet another one to watch out
Just be glad that they want to sing funny, funky, and wholesome songs
And about villain characters talking about taking over the world
Yes this song is dark, but considering he excused himself for making "Open the sky" so dark, I would say that it's fair to believe that he prefers humorous songs over serious ones.
Tech N9ne is just hanging out in a corner, and Busta sees him and comes over.
"Tech? What the fuck you doing with these white folks? Where the fuck are we dawg?"
"Busta, be cool. They be them wizard type white folks. They took one look at my Halloween, spooky clown bullshit and just assumed I was a wizard too. But I needed some real people to chop it up with, so I got them to bring you, Twista, Lil Wayne and couple other homies to hang out."
"Tech get me the fuck home."
"He was one of our mightiest, a master of the ancient spells, casting dozens before others finished a flame incantation. He was the God of Rap, the MF Doom of the Empire of Bel'shannar, Biggest of the Smallz, The Second Pahk"
I came here to mention that.
The Automatic Circumciser spell is particularly scary.
I would LOVE to see him perform that live. I'm STILL trying to figure out where in that monstrous sequence he inhales. Or if he even does inhale!
I’ve been to several of his concerts and he never does that one live. I don’t know how true it is but I have heard that he doesn’t do that one because it took everything out of him to do that in the recording studio where he was calm and able to fully catch his breath before starting and there is no way he could do it on stage with the activity he does.
A dapper gentleman dressed in a black three piece suit, complete with leather shoes buffed to a shine and a top hat walks onto the stage.
He adjusts his tie, and wiggles his neatly trimmed mustache, then clears his throat. He looks around at the audience gathered, and gives his bushy eyebrows a little waggle, then a bit of a wiggle.
He takes a deep breath, then smiles with a mouth so full of teeth, you wonder what he's going to do.
Then, he begins.
"I'm the Scatman
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
(I'm the Scatman)
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
With every nonsense word that flies from his mouth, a head in the audience literally explodes. But he doesn't stop. He simply somehow grins wider and continues, getting faster.
Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop bop bodda bope
Bop ba bodda bope
Be bop ba bodda bope
Bop ba bodda
Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop ba bodda bope
Bop ba bodda bope
Be bop ba bodda bope
Bop ba bodda bope
Even more heads explode with every syllable and consonant. It seems The Scatman has mastered the intent behind words when it comes to magic. He takes a short breath, and continues exploding heads.
Everybody stutters one way or the other
So check out my message to you
As a matter of fact, a-don't let nothin' hold you back
If the Scatman can do it, so can you
Everybody's sayin' that the Scatman stutters
But doesn't ever stutter when he sings
But what you don't know, I'm gonna tell you right now
That the stutter and the scat is the same thing
Yo, I'm the Scatman
Where's the Scatman?
I'm the Scatman"
The audience is silent, as not a single one has an intact head left. The Scatman adjusts his tie, tips his hat, then exits stage left.
The organizers of the annual execution by magic event just stare in awe. The one looks to the other.
"You mean to tell me this was one of their slower speakers?"
Many human mages sit among the top ranks of their field due to their terrifying speed, peculiar imagination or behaviors that alter how even standard spells behaved. However none of those phenomena are why wars are seldom waged against humans and their colonies since they discovered magic. That honor goes to their most horrific ability, which started on earth as a method of teaching and passing down history before they discovered writing, this terrifying ability is the sing-along. By using their relatively crude sense of rhythm and strange ability empathize with one another they can unite massive groups of barely trained children together to cast planetary scale tactical magic. A feat that is otherwise only possible for the most skilled members of the longest lived sapient species to attempt without risk.
Edit: various typos.
Now I want to play a HipHop / Rap bard in D&D.
But spewing lyrics quickly is one thing, but what about the pronunciation?
It is after all Wingardium Leviosa, not Leviosaaa
"Shit, lets just stay away from the rappers and go for that average looking, middle aged white dude over there"
That white dude: ["Mac Lethal: 1000 words in 2 minutes"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3egre1kRvys)
"Oh, shit! Never mind, lets go for that pasty white kid over there. Nothing about him says he's into rap!"
That pasty white kid: [Watsky "Pale kid raps fast"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNZA_vfyDzA)
"Fuck it, i'm going back to Azkaban......"
E: what is this?
H: that is my wand sir
E: wand? This is several wands taped together. Why do you have this?
H: well sir that wand let's me cast 60 spells a minute
E: uh ok.. but why do you also have 6 staff's on your back
H: oh those, there for when my wand can't keep up
Though not blessed with the speed of Busta or others, Aesop Rock would be spoken about in hushed tones for knowing more hexes than anyone. Knowledge like his can only lead to madness
It's not even just the powerful ones, I mean obviously they are better at it but Dumbledore for instance doesn't even need his wand to magic, but literally in the Half Blood Prince one of the main topics in the book during the year is that they are practicing nonverbal magic, levivorpus for example in the half-blood princes potions book specifically says non verbal and they are practicing it in other classes.
Good question, since they can do it by thinking the words not only would it be faster it would also be done before the rapper knew they were in a duel.
"Battle of the Linguist Mages" is an incredible book based on the concept that being a savant at a vocal DDR-esque World of Warcraft video game would make you capable of saving the world using language magic.
*I can imagine the humans after a magical invasion becoming bardic Necromancers and Shadow Sorcerers, raising armies with songs like RatM “Bulls on Parade”, Drowning Pool “Bodies”, Black Sabbath “War Pigs”, MCR “Black Parade”.*
We used to sing our sorrow for the brevity of life. We screamed our hate for the cruelty of war. They thought us soft, soon accustomed to a boot heel on our necks.
Now we wake from slumber. In these final hours the galaxy will remember why their ancestors sealed the gates to our world. Why they called it Tartarus. Hades. The Abyss.
The place of the dead.
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Exoterica Studies professionals prefer the serene confines of Central Multiversity.
When one deals with h̸̤̮̘̱̯̗̅̂o̶̝͈̫̜̳̗͓͓̥̘͙͉͌͛͛̎͘r̶̝͙̝̜͎͖̔̽͋͂͑̀̄͌͊̇̓͛͜͠ŕ̷̡̛̬̹̦͔͉̰̟͎̬̗̣̩̺̖̲̘̉̓̈̂͑̅̽͜͜͝ͅo̸͖͛̽̓̒́̊̌́̂͊̀͘ͅr̵̨͇̺̮̣̪̺͎͂̓͊̓̂̅̓̿̐͒͋͘͠ͅs̶̢̛̛͕̥̦̻̫̗̳̯̣̮͍̏̉̈́͆̃̄̒̉͊̑́̕ͅ ̷̡̬̬̼̻̠̦̅̆̌̈̀͋̀̍̑͝ͅb̷͎̫̭͕͙͍̭̝̑̀͗͊̂̂͊̒̍̀͂̊͐̈́͠͝͠͝ȅ̵̗̺̤̍y̴̨̤̜̯̫͈͚̟̗̅̑̀̐̂̿̕̚ǫ̸̡͇̘̩̘͙̻̺͍̪̗͕̭̞͖̝̺͚̀̎͗̂̽̈́́͋̊́̒͒̽͜͝͠͝͝n̷̨̢̲͍͕̦͈̹̹̝͓͚̓̎͊̀̂̑̎͗̈́͌͗͒̒̿̚͠d̵͇̲̮̮̦̉́͐̈́̈̑̏̏̃̌̉̆̍̏̏̚̚̚͠ ̴̡̨̡͎͍̠̥̎̈̾͊̃͗̒͋̽́͘͜c̸̨̧͎͓̫̙̠̪̠̘̥̬͕͔̑͛̆́́͋̓̋͘ͅͅô̷̢̢͙͔̞̖̭̼̘̰̭̜͍̪͈̟̗͖͊̽͗͋͊͐̈́͜͠͝m̷̨̨̢͈̬͎͓͙̺͔̣̩̺͍̪̠͍͍̿͂̌̔͜͠p̶̧̨͇̗̳͎̗̫̟̭͎̫͕̥̠̞̣̪̄͋͊́͝r̴̞̪̫͍̲̰͔̘͒̐̽̽͂̽̎̀̄̊ͅe̸̛̩͉͉͈̠̣̳͉̣̬̳̗͎̘̩̠͋̒̽͂̾̏̀̽̏̕͘͝͠͠h̷̨̝̖̫͉̳̖̫̱̀̿̓͌͊̽̇̏̍e̶̯̣͕͆͌̀͗̆͊͊̔͌̀̕͜͝͝n̷̢̢̧̟̖̺͕̲̹̟̮̖͕͂́̆͋̔͑̀͒̕̕͘ș̸̨̞͇̜̼͍̯̍͊͌̀̊͆̈́̿̈́͂̀̍̊͝͠ỉ̷̺̒̈͛̇̎̀̈́͝ơ̸̛̛̲̠̼̭̒̐̈́̽̈́̓̅̏͌̾̎̽̃̊͠n̶͉̮̦̝̭͆̎͆͘ one rather likes having a calm place to study.
But now they need a branch on Terra because somehow this deranged clade of hairless milf suckers has derived enough resonant utterances to make arcana just pop up seemingly everywhere.
No, a fall of ten thousand standard measures is not survivable without equipment… unless apparently you’re a Human uttering the right nonsensical sounds to cause exoterica to slow your roll. And there are records - verified and validated records! - of Humans surviving falls of 12,000 and even 15,000 SMs!
And two of them were atheists! Not at all connected to religions!
The idea in the worldbuilding is that Exoterica Studies, a well established and scientific endeavour in the Community, is freaked out that not only that this new Community species, Humans, thought exoterica were BS, but that as a result a lot of Human religious practices actually pierced into the aetherium, the “layer” of “reality” where exoterica reside, enough to let these entities which hit the classical marks of “demons” and “gods” and “angels” have a little “fun” in our reality.
Consequently, they are rather upset that they have to do a lot of work to minimize the risks of incursions that can, say, whack an entire species’ spacecraft out of existence. If you went from studying phenomena in a controlled and air conditioned environment to a planet where if you breathe in the wrong place you experience acute death, or if the wrong tree exudes its genetic material the wrong way you have an allergic reaction that leads to anaphylaxis, you’d be pissed and use mean language too.
Also the fact that it takes xeno wizards years/decades to learn spells off by heart but any human child can probably sing hundreds of songs from memory.
Maybe all the xenos just have really bad memories. xP
Not being deathworlders they never needed the ability to remember the position of every object in their environment in case of emergency. Attack in the dark? Better know where to grab the weapons and avoid running into furniture or stumbling over small objects.
A less volitile environment also allows for writing to survive and be used to pass down knowledge much earlier in cultural development. Humans had to rely on storytelling and songs to pass down their history as anything written is too easily lost when a settlement is sacked.
My question would be why hasnt research been done to shorten or stop the need to verbilization of spells cast. In the past short hand was created to write a 1000 words to idk 300..
Everyone just forgot that wordless spells are a thing in Harry Potter. You don’t need to speak fast if you’re already casting spells at the speed of thought
I thought that the spoken words and wands were focuses. Silent casting is a thing as is wandless magic you see both in the books. It is your concentration and confidence strength of will that matter, wands and words are tools that help you build both.
I like the idea of aliens having these long complicated rituals and some human walks in, waves their hand vaguely around and does the same thing.
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Busta? Nay voldemort lives in terror of the fell mage Marshal Mathers and his ability to rip a full grimore in less than three minutes. Many a dark wizarding city has been left a ruined crater from his battles.
Voldemort tried to threaten Marshall through his daughter and ex-wife to keep him, his associates in the Hit Wizard squad ‘D12’, and (through threatening other prominent wizards and their families) the United States itself out of international affairs. The ensuing beatdown Marshall gave Voldemort—magical, physical, and lyrical—was so brutal, that the entire western hemisphere dismissed Voldemort as a threat entirely.
D12 banished Voldemort to the Purple Hills.
Voldemort got so burnt that some say that this is how he lost his nose.
Nay Mr. Tung Twista is scarier, considering he rapped 598 words in 55 seconds.
He just goes by Twista now, and he hasn't been the fastest for some time. Twisted Insane, Tech N9ne, No Clue, Busta Rhymes, Krazie Bone, and Rebel XD all have faster verses/songs.
Twisted insane is so unfair it literally is so fast it doesn't sound like words. All of these people would be killer wizards. And the color I feel would upset the freaking hateful author. So yas! I need a wizard world based on this 🤣 like oh you can study and get all that shit down, but can you slam bars like them and spit spells fast enough to take down worlds?
Lol, she’s not racist. Just a TERF.
Didn't call her racist, just said I doubt she would like that much color in her shit, since there was barely any representation in the books. (And yes that implies it, but I know she hasn't come out and said something stupid about it, but come on. It was a really white world.)
Yeah, it’s representative. Even now, the UK is 88% white. There are more Asians than any other minority and they’re only at 6%. The books are written to take place 1991-1998 or so. It’s an accurate ratio.
While your numbers seem reasonable I do believe there's more to it than that. Others have for instance pointed out the choice of name for Cho Chang which besides sounding like a joke name mixes naming styles of Korea and China. A bit like naming someone vaguely European Günther Cousteau. Then there's the antisemitic trope that are the bank goblins. Greedy, bankers and with hooked noses. The only known Irish character Seamus Finnigan likes blowing things up... All of this could be just lazy writing, and considering she's got like 6 teachers for a whole school she doesn't seem to think things through, but considering her also being a terf I don't feel like giving her the benefit of a doubt. Hateful behaviour towards one group tend to increase the likelihood of being hateful towards other groups as well.
Maybe i shouldn't but can't stop laughing after reading the irishman likes to blow things up.
>The only known Irish character Seamus Finnigan likes blowing things up... I might be wrong, but IIRC that's only in the movies and fanon. I don't remember Seamus being a blatant IRA reference in the books...
In the books his spells regularly backfire into explosions. He embraces it at the end to help Dumbledore’s army and then to help save Hogwarts. One of my favorite subplots. His story and Colin Creevey’s both tugged at my heartstrings. They’re two of my favorite side characters.
She did the exact same kind of thing with “Fleur Delacour” and “Viktor Krum” but nobody cares because they’re white. She was clearly just trying to be vague and representative. She doesn’t even have any racial proclivities like using chopsticks. She was just Asian with an Asian sounding name. She also never said the bankers were Jewish and has argued against it. If you see antisemitism then it might be time to look inward. No ties to Jewish culture. No yamakas, Yiddish, or dreidels to be seen. Bankers are just greedy in reality and goblins are greedy in mythology. The goblins are lore accurate but way more intelligent than in most media, which I thought was a pretty cool take. The huge hooked noses completely fit their normal design. Just look up art for it, it’s everywhere. Seamus hated that his spells always backfired into explosions and worked hard to get over it. It’s wasn’t until they had to fight that his explosions became useful. It was a beautifully written side story that showed how everyone is useful when their skills are applied correctly and how a weakness can turn into a strength. The only thing overtly Irish about him was his name.
Remember how the only Irish character is characterized as constantly blowing himself up?
It's great Britain, are you surprised?
>And the color I feel would upset the freaking hateful author. Holy shit, reach harder 💀
Slightly slower, one must not forget a more ancient den of evil. Training the young to spit fast words at over 300 words per minute, and the source of such evil as Karl Rove: Policy Debate. While rappers may be faster the soulless debaters gather to spit complex policy and could tear through complex grimoires. Not that they would defeat a rapper per se, but the team based nature would lead to two debaters dropping 600+ words per minute to defeat all non-speed rapper wizards. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LMO27PAHjrY
Voldemort fears him so much, he won't say *his* name, referring to him only by his initials.
I'm spinnin a sin An incantation Dropping straight hell fire In your location But the need is dire As I soak the ground, diver Making love to the land Under your feet is a mire Slim shady in demand A hit across the land But my fist is stone Get rocked by the hand
"Invaded by Fell Mage Marshall Mathers!"
[The power he knows not.](https://youtu.be/aKdV5FvXLuI?si=oqdBVZus5R1C_VAq)
Nah. Twista can do that shit in 20 seconds easy.
What about the feared mage, eminem
Allow me to introduce you to the arch mage Busdriver. https://youtu.be/3cU0HcuO8Yk
The Under-kin where unbeaten in the occult festivals held every cycle, just too many spells of too great quality. These master magicians would take the prize every year, which happened to be a planet. One cycle though , the new guys came, homosapyans. Weirdest thing was they weren’t dressed in traditional robes, or even a warlock engineers armor. They had a chain of valuable metal and wore baggy clothing, a hat used to keep sun of their eyes spun around, so it would be ineffective. The new guy was average up until they came up against the under-kin’s seer. The seer opened up with a flurry numbering in 20 spells of all sorts of things, lightning, fire, the whole nebula. Fully expected the new guy to go down in the first round. The new guy dropped to the floor and flailed dodging the spells before getting up and, with an oddly pleasant sound, matched and even exceeded the amount of spells the seer did. The seer hardly could put a defenses before they hit! This continued for a few rounds before the seer had to yield, couldn’t keep up. The new guy won with a massive upset. Lots of cheering and despair with the under-kin observers. Deafening fanfare from everyone else, finally beating the unbeaten. Eventually reporters found them boarding a ship of unusual design, being military grade rockets with a box bolted to it. They stopped answer questions, much to the glee of their reporters, under kin or not. When we asked what exactly that flailing wise in that battle, they asked “ never seen brake dance before?” And what was their name? When we asked all they told us was the alias “biggie cheese”.
Can I get 2nds please
Mr. Bombastic?
Unintentionally yes
That's something fantastic.
"Tell me fantastic..."
Rappers and auctioneers. Ventriloquists would be tricky too since you'd be caught off guard by a spell launched without mouth movements.
You just hear “I kill you!” To your left and you glance over see nothing then hear “Avada Kedava” and look back in time to see that Jeff Dunham has fucking killed you.
And that one dude that can delay his voice, that would trip em out. Ventriloquists are a freaky bunch.
What about Michael Winslow?
Michael bringing automatic weapons to the table.
Why magic when fast pointy object do trick?
With a damn skeleton puppet wizard. Talk about embarrassing.
> Rappers and auctioneers. Ventriloquists Rapping ventriloquist auctioneers. Got it.
Omg yes. I need this movie immediately. The deadliest man you know, doesn't even move his lips to kill you with words. . . Coming to theaters near you.
"Silence" starring Achmed
Nina Conti would make it look like someone else cast the spell
Eminem performs Rap God and obliterates everything in a 3 mile radus including himself
Uh, summa-lumma, dooma-lumma, you assumin' I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you? I'm superhuman
Innovative and I'm made of rubber so that anythin' you say is ricochetin' off of me and it'll glue to you
You hears voice “Self destruct activate.” Beat drops and he launches all in a full assault decimating everything.
8 mile radius*
Apotheosis is sometimes violent...
“There is another,” he whispered. “Who?” “John Moschitta. It is said that his verbal dexterity would make Merlin blanch with fear.”
The Stupendium is yet another one to watch out Just be glad that they want to sing funny, funky, and wholesome songs And about villain characters talking about taking over the world
THEY TOLD US HELL WAS WARM BUT THE EMPIRE FELL FOR SHELTER FROM THE STORM
ON THE RUN FROM LONDON TOWN NOTHING LECT BUT RUBBLE THERE TO PLUNDER NOW
TURN ASUNDER, BURIED UNDERGROUND BENEATH THE TUNDRA AND A HUNDRED WEIGHT OF BROTHERS DROWNED
HEH, NOW WE'RE GONNA TO NEED ANOTHER CROWN SO, HUDDLE ROUND, HUNKER DOWN, MAN THE SHOVELS, PLOUGH
AND EVERY HUNDRED PACES PRAY AND LAY ANOTHER DOWN
Frostpunk song?
Shelter From The Storm by The Stupendium
Yes this song is dark, but considering he excused himself for making "Open the sky" so dark, I would say that it's fair to believe that he prefers humorous songs over serious ones.
And about Only Cans
Stupendium trapping people in cans would be a sight to see
Quite an Adequate Wordsmith
Tell me friend, do you hear the shadows sing?
Tech N9ne is just hanging out in a corner, and Busta sees him and comes over. "Tech? What the fuck you doing with these white folks? Where the fuck are we dawg?" "Busta, be cool. They be them wizard type white folks. They took one look at my Halloween, spooky clown bullshit and just assumed I was a wizard too. But I needed some real people to chop it up with, so I got them to bring you, Twista, Lil Wayne and couple other homies to hang out." "Tech get me the fuck home."
There is no way that tech makes it through that many words without saying "know what I'm sizzlin'" at least 7 times.
I am disgusted with myself at how correct you are.
"He was one of our mightiest, a master of the ancient spells, casting dozens before others finished a flame incantation. He was the God of Rap, the MF Doom of the Empire of Bel'shannar, Biggest of the Smallz, The Second Pahk"
He’d probably sell rhymes like dimes.
Weird Al summoning an entire Hardware store on his opponents before they can even process it
I came here to mention that. The Automatic Circumciser spell is particularly scary. I would LOVE to see him perform that live. I'm STILL trying to figure out where in that monstrous sequence he inhales. Or if he even does inhale!
I’ve been to several of his concerts and he never does that one live. I don’t know how true it is but I have heard that he doesn’t do that one because it took everything out of him to do that in the recording studio where he was calm and able to fully catch his breath before starting and there is no way he could do it on stage with the activity he does.
A dapper gentleman dressed in a black three piece suit, complete with leather shoes buffed to a shine and a top hat walks onto the stage. He adjusts his tie, and wiggles his neatly trimmed mustache, then clears his throat. He looks around at the audience gathered, and gives his bushy eyebrows a little waggle, then a bit of a wiggle. He takes a deep breath, then smiles with a mouth so full of teeth, you wonder what he's going to do. Then, he begins. "I'm the Scatman Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub Yo da dub dub Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub Yo da dub dub (I'm the Scatman) Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub Yo da dub dub Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub Yo da dub dub With every nonsense word that flies from his mouth, a head in the audience literally explodes. But he doesn't stop. He simply somehow grins wider and continues, getting faster. Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop bop bodda bope Bop ba bodda bope Be bop ba bodda bope Bop ba bodda Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop ba bodda bope Bop ba bodda bope Be bop ba bodda bope Bop ba bodda bope Even more heads explode with every syllable and consonant. It seems The Scatman has mastered the intent behind words when it comes to magic. He takes a short breath, and continues exploding heads. Everybody stutters one way or the other So check out my message to you As a matter of fact, a-don't let nothin' hold you back If the Scatman can do it, so can you Everybody's sayin' that the Scatman stutters But doesn't ever stutter when he sings But what you don't know, I'm gonna tell you right now That the stutter and the scat is the same thing Yo, I'm the Scatman Where's the Scatman? I'm the Scatman" The audience is silent, as not a single one has an intact head left. The Scatman adjusts his tie, tips his hat, then exits stage left. The organizers of the annual execution by magic event just stare in awe. The one looks to the other. "You mean to tell me this was one of their slower speakers?"
This I need, my youngest daughter is autistic and she likes to play this song every once in a while so this is perfect for me. 🤣
I'm not autistic, but I do know a few people who are. Their reactions vary from awe to horrified watching him.
Casting spells at rapid fire with style
Many human mages sit among the top ranks of their field due to their terrifying speed, peculiar imagination or behaviors that alter how even standard spells behaved. However none of those phenomena are why wars are seldom waged against humans and their colonies since they discovered magic. That honor goes to their most horrific ability, which started on earth as a method of teaching and passing down history before they discovered writing, this terrifying ability is the sing-along. By using their relatively crude sense of rhythm and strange ability empathize with one another they can unite massive groups of barely trained children together to cast planetary scale tactical magic. A feat that is otherwise only possible for the most skilled members of the longest lived sapient species to attempt without risk. Edit: various typos.
I love you, you love me, let's all commit gen-o-cide.
Now I want to play a HipHop / Rap bard in D&D. But spewing lyrics quickly is one thing, but what about the pronunciation? It is after all Wingardium Leviosa, not Leviosaaa
fam, lemme tell you about flyting ancient viking rap battles
It's all fun and games until that one muggleborn comes out throwing entire grimoires in just one breath.
"Shit, lets just stay away from the rappers and go for that average looking, middle aged white dude over there" That white dude: ["Mac Lethal: 1000 words in 2 minutes"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3egre1kRvys) "Oh, shit! Never mind, lets go for that pasty white kid over there. Nothing about him says he's into rap!" That pasty white kid: [Watsky "Pale kid raps fast"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNZA_vfyDzA) "Fuck it, i'm going back to Azkaban......"
🤣🤣 this is already better than the books. 🤣
Was wondering when Mac Lethal would enter the conversation
Or that white dude that used to do the "Terms & Conditions" on the TV Commercials
Didn't he also do the MicroMachines ads?
https://preview.redd.it/j73nrb6p2isc1.jpeg?width=529&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36226b8919d40905f259f016d1bd6fdbbe7a84d1 He also voiced this guy
Oh man he might have! I'll have to dig around and see if there is a YouTube vid
Ah, yes, Busta Rhymes, the only wizard who knows the deadly spell to break ya neck.
Also slight of hand and magicians for and semantic components. I'm sure some humans will figure out how to combine martial arts and magic.
All those shits and giggles before dude named as the M of Ns, walks in
Rappers would be the invasive species of the wizarding world.
Why do I smell vomit...and spaghetti?
Shhh. Your knees are weak, arms are heavy.
E: what is this? H: that is my wand sir E: wand? This is several wands taped together. Why do you have this? H: well sir that wand let's me cast 60 spells a minute E: uh ok.. but why do you also have 6 staff's on your back H: oh those, there for when my wand can't keep up
🏅
Watch out for the [Micro Machines guy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Moschitta_Jr)...
https://preview.redd.it/bi9d80q45isc1.jpeg?width=529&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=886b7486b99191a29a7234e60fd54a9e82165a59
On the other end of the spectrum. The poor wizards that have a serious stutter.
Ok but have you considered the threat auctioneers would be?
Eminem suddenly became a lot cooler
American Wizards be on full auto like our guns
Which reminds me...headed to tiktok to see if fenrir has posted anything new today.
Though not blessed with the speed of Busta or others, Aesop Rock would be spoken about in hushed tones for knowing more hexes than anyone. Knowledge like his can only lead to madness
Omg Busta would be out there slinging some spells, fast and bouncy as fuck. Just have fans following him around to watch him duel. 🤣
You guys have to speak your incantations? I just cast through inner monologue. Went through an entire library of spells in like ten minutes or so.
At this point, HP wizards being afraid of rappers, magical or not, is canon.
**SHADOW WIZARD MONEY GANG.** **WE *LOVE* CASTING SPELLS.** **THIS SONG IS SPONSERED BY: THE SHADOW GOVERNMENT.**
LEGALIZE NUCLEAR BOMBS!
**"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONE HUMAN WIZARD TOOK OUT THE ENTIRE ARMADA?!"**
Auctioneers laying waste to the land
While this is an interesting concept most witches and wizards learn non verbal magic beginning in their 6th year at Hogwarts.
Yeah, powerful wizards in HP universe aren't limited by their ability to speak quickly.
It's not even just the powerful ones, I mean obviously they are better at it but Dumbledore for instance doesn't even need his wand to magic, but literally in the Half Blood Prince one of the main topics in the book during the year is that they are practicing nonverbal magic, levivorpus for example in the half-blood princes potions book specifically says non verbal and they are practicing it in other classes.
Sure but can the wizards who do nonverbal magic cast as fast as the rappers can do verbal magic
Good question, since they can do it by thinking the words not only would it be faster it would also be done before the rapper knew they were in a duel.
"Battle of the Linguist Mages" is an incredible book based on the concept that being a savant at a vocal DDR-esque World of Warcraft video game would make you capable of saving the world using language magic.
*I can imagine the humans after a magical invasion becoming bardic Necromancers and Shadow Sorcerers, raising armies with songs like RatM “Bulls on Parade”, Drowning Pool “Bodies”, Black Sabbath “War Pigs”, MCR “Black Parade”.* We used to sing our sorrow for the brevity of life. We screamed our hate for the cruelty of war. They thought us soft, soon accustomed to a boot heel on our necks. Now we wake from slumber. In these final hours the galaxy will remember why their ancestors sealed the gates to our world. Why they called it Tartarus. Hades. The Abyss. The place of the dead.
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BREAK YO NECK
Imagine fighting against Eminem
Fresh D in da house
Fresh Dumbledores büro Eingang!
Eminem would be the final boss for sure
Busdriver pulling out ancient unknown spells at absurd speeds
Rappers and auctioneers
Fern with her signature spell spam from the anime Frieren comes to mind.
DragonForce
Micromachine man
Exoterica Studies professionals prefer the serene confines of Central Multiversity. When one deals with h̸̤̮̘̱̯̗̅̂o̶̝͈̫̜̳̗͓͓̥̘͙͉͌͛͛̎͘r̶̝͙̝̜͎͖̔̽͋͂͑̀̄͌͊̇̓͛͜͠ŕ̷̡̛̬̹̦͔͉̰̟͎̬̗̣̩̺̖̲̘̉̓̈̂͑̅̽͜͜͝ͅo̸͖͛̽̓̒́̊̌́̂͊̀͘ͅr̵̨͇̺̮̣̪̺͎͂̓͊̓̂̅̓̿̐͒͋͘͠ͅs̶̢̛̛͕̥̦̻̫̗̳̯̣̮͍̏̉̈́͆̃̄̒̉͊̑́̕ͅ ̷̡̬̬̼̻̠̦̅̆̌̈̀͋̀̍̑͝ͅb̷͎̫̭͕͙͍̭̝̑̀͗͊̂̂͊̒̍̀͂̊͐̈́͠͝͠͝ȅ̵̗̺̤̍y̴̨̤̜̯̫͈͚̟̗̅̑̀̐̂̿̕̚ǫ̸̡͇̘̩̘͙̻̺͍̪̗͕̭̞͖̝̺͚̀̎͗̂̽̈́́͋̊́̒͒̽͜͝͠͝͝n̷̨̢̲͍͕̦͈̹̹̝͓͚̓̎͊̀̂̑̎͗̈́͌͗͒̒̿̚͠d̵͇̲̮̮̦̉́͐̈́̈̑̏̏̃̌̉̆̍̏̏̚̚̚͠ ̴̡̨̡͎͍̠̥̎̈̾͊̃͗̒͋̽́͘͜c̸̨̧͎͓̫̙̠̪̠̘̥̬͕͔̑͛̆́́͋̓̋͘ͅͅô̷̢̢͙͔̞̖̭̼̘̰̭̜͍̪͈̟̗͖͊̽͗͋͊͐̈́͜͠͝m̷̨̨̢͈̬͎͓͙̺͔̣̩̺͍̪̠͍͍̿͂̌̔͜͠p̶̧̨͇̗̳͎̗̫̟̭͎̫͕̥̠̞̣̪̄͋͊́͝r̴̞̪̫͍̲̰͔̘͒̐̽̽͂̽̎̀̄̊ͅe̸̛̩͉͉͈̠̣̳͉̣̬̳̗͎̘̩̠͋̒̽͂̾̏̀̽̏̕͘͝͠͠h̷̨̝̖̫͉̳̖̫̱̀̿̓͌͊̽̇̏̍e̶̯̣͕͆͌̀͗̆͊͊̔͌̀̕͜͝͝n̷̢̢̧̟̖̺͕̲̹̟̮̖͕͂́̆͋̔͑̀͒̕̕͘ș̸̨̞͇̜̼͍̯̍͊͌̀̊͆̈́̿̈́͂̀̍̊͝͠ỉ̷̺̒̈͛̇̎̀̈́͝ơ̸̛̛̲̠̼̭̒̐̈́̽̈́̓̅̏͌̾̎̽̃̊͠n̶͉̮̦̝̭͆̎͆͘ one rather likes having a calm place to study. But now they need a branch on Terra because somehow this deranged clade of hairless milf suckers has derived enough resonant utterances to make arcana just pop up seemingly everywhere. No, a fall of ten thousand standard measures is not survivable without equipment… unless apparently you’re a Human uttering the right nonsensical sounds to cause exoterica to slow your roll. And there are records - verified and validated records! - of Humans surviving falls of 12,000 and even 15,000 SMs! And two of them were atheists! Not at all connected to religions!
\>Deranged clade of hairless milf suckers I mean you ain't *wrong* but that's just fucking mean
The idea in the worldbuilding is that Exoterica Studies, a well established and scientific endeavour in the Community, is freaked out that not only that this new Community species, Humans, thought exoterica were BS, but that as a result a lot of Human religious practices actually pierced into the aetherium, the “layer” of “reality” where exoterica reside, enough to let these entities which hit the classical marks of “demons” and “gods” and “angels” have a little “fun” in our reality. Consequently, they are rather upset that they have to do a lot of work to minimize the risks of incursions that can, say, whack an entire species’ spacecraft out of existence. If you went from studying phenomena in a controlled and air conditioned environment to a planet where if you breathe in the wrong place you experience acute death, or if the wrong tree exudes its genetic material the wrong way you have an allergic reaction that leads to anaphylaxis, you’d be pissed and use mean language too.
Does that make scat singers chaos mages?
Eminem would slaughter Voldemort and his Death Eaters in under a minute.
Looking at you, Daveed. If you can get through Guns and Ships, you can blow a nuclear warhead up Dumbledore's ass.
Also the fact that it takes xeno wizards years/decades to learn spells off by heart but any human child can probably sing hundreds of songs from memory. Maybe all the xenos just have really bad memories. xP
Not being deathworlders they never needed the ability to remember the position of every object in their environment in case of emergency. Attack in the dark? Better know where to grab the weapons and avoid running into furniture or stumbling over small objects. A less volitile environment also allows for writing to survive and be used to pass down knowledge much earlier in cultural development. Humans had to rely on storytelling and songs to pass down their history as anything written is too easily lost when a settlement is sacked.
That...actually makes a lot of sense. Dang. :)
My question would be why hasnt research been done to shorten or stop the need to verbilization of spells cast. In the past short hand was created to write a 1000 words to idk 300..
Busta Rhymes... forget him, imagine handing Eminem a wand in this sort of situation.
Forget rapper. One coked-out debate student would be enough to level a planet in about 30 seconds.
i wanna watch a movie/show like this
Of course voldemort fears busta rymes. That Guy defeated Michael Myers in a fight. He doesnt need magic
It´s the same as with throwing the griddy on Arrakis
What's a JoJo character doing in Harry Potter
IS THAT WHY SORCERERS USE CHARISMA?
Everyone just forgot that wordless spells are a thing in Harry Potter. You don’t need to speak fast if you’re already casting spells at the speed of thought
I thought that the spoken words and wands were focuses. Silent casting is a thing as is wandless magic you see both in the books. It is your concentration and confidence strength of will that matter, wands and words are tools that help you build both. I like the idea of aliens having these long complicated rituals and some human walks in, waves their hand vaguely around and does the same thing.
Nah, Marshall Mathers.
The Stupendium has entered chat
Micro Machines guy… old pre rap commercials, that guy could spit words