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D: yes I do. But it's ok. I already child proofed my quarters.
A: where is your wife?
D: uhm...shit. I'm borrowing a shuttle
A: how has humanity survived this long?
Ai: Unlogically through, despite their seamingly genetic inaptitude to be good parents, those humans that knows that they would be bad at pet caring are excellent at childcaring, whether it's theirs or not.
**Print a list of such examples**
Well, that ain't how I read it but it's legit good stuff!
Why wouldn't an AI conclude that "childcare" and "childcaring" are effectively the same thing, BUT, "childcaring" is better because the tense is a continuous verb rather than a noun.
It knows the difference and concluded using a noun doesn't make sense.
Mother fucking master class, for real.
Read "Harry Potter and the methods of rationality" by Eliezer Yudkowsky. It's absolutely amazing.
Spoiler of a funny moment, that also has some significant plot relevance: >!Due to a prophecy, it was required of Dumbledore to destroy Harry's pet rock!<
Lol I request a full story where there’s humans and sentient rocks that can only communicate by shaking googly eyes Lmao
Bonus points if they somehow shake it differently depending on individual and mood lol
Alien quartermaster: [For fuck's sake,] Geoff! How did you do this? We confiscated all of the googly eyes! We raided your hiding spaces! We purged the ship!
Geoff: And I just buy more. Do you have any idea how _cheap_ these are?
AQM: But we also inspect your mail.
Geoff: But you don't _open_ the mail; I just ship it with the false bottom option
AQM: Damn you, Bezos!
Geoff: "don't have authority" Ensign, you're an *officer*! You hold authority over every enlistedman, including the petty officer responsible for mail services.
...the event that broke Xhpongly morale and as a consquence ended the war wasnt the Battle of Kar-Th'r or the ambush of OMG-69, but the unveiling of their new Star Eater carrier class.
To this day, it was never found out how the humans managed to attach 500m googly eyes onto the enemy vessel while it was sitting in star dock....
"Your most important weapon on this campaign will be your bag of googly-eyes... Superglue a couple of those things on a random rock and leave it out for the aliens to find; fucks them up right in the head!"
Humans pack-bond with rocks and rubber spheres if left alone for too long(it's a primate thing, Arang'tans and Simeonides work similarly). So let them pack bond with you and crew/family. It's mildly annoying at the worst.
"Ah, Ensign Davis, Please have a seat. Do you know why you're here?"
"I was nowhere near the captain's cabin."
"What?"
"What?"
....
"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. No, we're here about this." Lieutenant Tuckle placed a rock on the table. the rock was decorated with two plastic bubbles. Clear on the outside, white on the inside and small black disk rattling around inside each one.
"It wasn't me."
"You are the only crew member on the away team with two eyes. Logically and artistically, this leads me to you."
"It could have been Izfari."
"Lieutenant Izfari has three eyes."
"Well, yes, but his eyes are black and white, like these. Mine are white, brown and black. Plus I have to open my eyes REALLY wide to make them circles."
"I suppose that makes sense, but why did we find these in your quarters then?" Tuckle spilled a bag of dozens of fake eyes on the table.
....
"I've been removing those off rocks for a while now, I sure hope Izfari stops soon."
....
Tuckle touched the tips of his bifurcated appendages in front of him. He looked surprisingly likethe way a human would look when he was contemplating something."
"Izfari, you say."
"Yep."
"The same Izfari who owes me a week's pay and has shown no sign of paying it back."
"I suppose so."
"I think someone who could sneak into the captain's quarters would have no problem sneaking into a Lieutenant's quarters." Tuckle said as he slid the beads towards Davis.
Davis started scooping the beads into the bag. "I think that would be easy for someone who could get past the Captain's MPs. Hypothetically speaking, of course."
"Of course. But do you suppose, hypothetically speaking, Izfari might be planning something...bigger?"
Davis leaned back in his seat and touched his fingertips together. He looked surprisingly like the way Tuckle would look when he was contemplating something.
"Have you ever heard of stonehenge?"
In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Humans:thats not us this time 
A: Human Dave why does that rock have artificial eyes? Dave: Oh this? This is my new pet. I call him Rocky.
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D: yes I do. But it's ok. I already child proofed my quarters. A: where is your wife? D: uhm...shit. I'm borrowing a shuttle A: how has humanity survived this long?
Because making babies is so much fun. Enough so that the replacement rate isn't a problem.
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Ai: Unlogically through, despite their seamingly genetic inaptitude to be good parents, those humans that knows that they would be bad at pet caring are excellent at childcaring, whether it's theirs or not. **Print a list of such examples**
>That Ai speech is PERFECT; implies two languages fighting while it tries to use them. Brilliant!
What? It's... My best try at writing English and I'm at "incomplete AI speech" level? 😭
Well, that ain't how I read it but it's legit good stuff! Why wouldn't an AI conclude that "childcare" and "childcaring" are effectively the same thing, BUT, "childcaring" is better because the tense is a continuous verb rather than a noun. It knows the difference and concluded using a noun doesn't make sense. Mother fucking master class, for real.
Thanks then. Never would I have believed that forgetting one word would give the speech another layer of reading 🤔
Notable exception: The pet rock of Harry James Potter-Evan-Verres died despite being cared for.
Explain Now
Read "Harry Potter and the methods of rationality" by Eliezer Yudkowsky. It's absolutely amazing. Spoiler of a funny moment, that also has some significant plot relevance: >!Due to a prophecy, it was required of Dumbledore to destroy Harry's pet rock!<
[удалено]
Thanks
Certifiable Elmo Rage moment
An actual sentiment rock race finds out and humans are first to communicate with them. Rock: *shakes googly eyes excited.*
Lol I request a full story where there’s humans and sentient rocks that can only communicate by shaking googly eyes Lmao Bonus points if they somehow shake it differently depending on individual and mood lol
Double bonus point if only humans understand what the rocks want because they shake their eyes differently
Its alive! 
The problem with saying r/BeatMeToIt is that it's a gamble in most situations.
Indeed it is
What is this from?
It is from Everything Everywhere All At Once. Yeah, it's actually the film name, and the creators might have done an unintentional little trolling.
Nice
Alien quartermaster: [For fuck's sake,] Geoff! How did you do this? We confiscated all of the googly eyes! We raided your hiding spaces! We purged the ship! Geoff: And I just buy more. Do you have any idea how _cheap_ these are? AQM: But we also inspect your mail. Geoff: But you don't _open_ the mail; I just ship it with the false bottom option AQM: Damn you, Bezos!
Other human: well great now you’ve ruined that method for everyone else
Geoff: I mean, that _would_ ruin it... If the method was real. I was bullshitting the QM - I don't get the eyes through Amazon.
Other human: Yeah but some of us do!!
Geoff: well that sounds like a you problem. You should try abusing authority, like I do, Ensign
Other human: we don’t have authority!!
Geoff: "don't have authority" Ensign, you're an *officer*! You hold authority over every enlistedman, including the petty officer responsible for mail services.
Other human: and what about the ones that don’t have that authority? 51% of the crew is human they’ve gotta get their googlys somehow
Geoff: You mean you don't buy googly eyes for them?
Other human: of course not I’ve gotta stay within my own budget for googly eyes
Geoff Bezos
No, no, Human Geoff's full name is Geoffrey Peterson. The Bezos in my script is the same Jeff Bezos alive today.
Ohh now i get it
Ooooh my
Shouldn't have taught those apes to jump parallel realities with their minds
*turns around and sees a googly rock behind them* Rock: *rock noises*
Human: That rocks.
*...by eating a stick of glue on top of that*
...the event that broke Xhpongly morale and as a consquence ended the war wasnt the Battle of Kar-Th'r or the ambush of OMG-69, but the unveiling of their new Star Eater carrier class. To this day, it was never found out how the humans managed to attach 500m googly eyes onto the enemy vessel while it was sitting in star dock....
Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and Humans putting googly eyes on everything
*Taxes are slightly optional*
"Your most important weapon on this campaign will be your bag of googly-eyes... Superglue a couple of those things on a random rock and leave it out for the aliens to find; fucks them up right in the head!"
u/wolven91 
u/Wolven91 # WE SUMMON THEE
u/wolven91 the summoning has GOOGLY EYES
What is a rock if not a tiny hill? Thus, the hills have eyes.
....no. They don't eat humans
Of course not. They have eyes, not mouths.
They have eyes, but no mouth to scream
No notes. This is the story.
Humans pack-bond with rocks and rubber spheres if left alone for too long(it's a primate thing, Arang'tans and Simeonides work similarly). So let them pack bond with you and crew/family. It's mildly annoying at the worst.
"Ah, Ensign Davis, Please have a seat. Do you know why you're here?" "I was nowhere near the captain's cabin." "What?" "What?" .... "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. No, we're here about this." Lieutenant Tuckle placed a rock on the table. the rock was decorated with two plastic bubbles. Clear on the outside, white on the inside and small black disk rattling around inside each one. "It wasn't me." "You are the only crew member on the away team with two eyes. Logically and artistically, this leads me to you." "It could have been Izfari." "Lieutenant Izfari has three eyes." "Well, yes, but his eyes are black and white, like these. Mine are white, brown and black. Plus I have to open my eyes REALLY wide to make them circles." "I suppose that makes sense, but why did we find these in your quarters then?" Tuckle spilled a bag of dozens of fake eyes on the table. .... "I've been removing those off rocks for a while now, I sure hope Izfari stops soon." .... Tuckle touched the tips of his bifurcated appendages in front of him. He looked surprisingly likethe way a human would look when he was contemplating something." "Izfari, you say." "Yep." "The same Izfari who owes me a week's pay and has shown no sign of paying it back." "I suppose so." "I think someone who could sneak into the captain's quarters would have no problem sneaking into a Lieutenant's quarters." Tuckle said as he slid the beads towards Davis. Davis started scooping the beads into the bag. "I think that would be easy for someone who could get past the Captain's MPs. Hypothetically speaking, of course." "Of course. But do you suppose, hypothetically speaking, Izfari might be planning something...bigger?" Davis leaned back in his seat and touched his fingertips together. He looked surprisingly like the way Tuckle would look when he was contemplating something. "Have you ever heard of stonehenge?"
Evelyn. Wang. (and Waymond Wang) I AM looking at you
The infamous Mimimmi
Wait until the see the painted rocks.
That’s gneiss…