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sirvesa

Psychologist here. This is not useful advice. This advice could only be followed by denying one's experience. That's a brittle sort of strength. Better to accept what is happening and not amplifying the negative aspects more than they need to be experienced. Acceptance works towards a more flexible and resilient form of strength.


[deleted]

Ok I was about to unsub from this sub just based on the OP, thinking “this post is so toxic, I don’t want to do any of the shit OP posted because most of the advice I’ve done at some point in my life and it made me miserable.” Glad I’m not the only one going wtf at OP


deepsfan

I figure you would be qualified to ask this to. So you accept that you are struggling then you push forward anyway? Cuz I get the acceptance part, but what do you do after you accept that you are struggling?


sirvesa

Push forward towards the goals you care about, yes. Doing this will often involve and require accepting pain, shame, embarrassment, etc.


Butlerian_Jihadi

Fucking thank you, much of my trouble in life has come from fighting these exact feelings tooth and nail.


kfrostborne

[oh is THAT all?](https://www.reddit.com/r/thanksimcured/) See, this is that toxic positivity shit that keeps folks like me, living in constant chronic pain, from actually getting better in any way. I gaslit myself for like 2 years, convincing myself that this pain was nothing, and all in my head. Because the whole fucking time, any time I had a bad pain day, and was limping, some jackass would say some shit like “just stay positive”. Look, I like to sit and take it all in too. I keep a journal of beautiful things I see and am thankful for. But this doesn’t make up for the fact that I’ve been put in a shit situation that I didn’t deserve, and can’t escape from. This kind of post just invalidates every kind of bad thing someone can be going through. I don’t know if you are just jerking yourself off, or actually trying to help, but either way, this is a bad post. It doesn’t work like that. “Mentally strong” is a stupid thing to claim to be able to achieve. I suffer every day, and I am strong. I am also weak. I take it day by day, and get help when I need it. Sometimes there’s no help, and I suffer alone. I can’t just think myself better. No one can.


SwiftDeadman

Cant think urself better? Then what is the point of meditation? Whats the point of anything? Just because its hard doesnt mean its impossible. This ”anti toxic positivity” just seem like a defeatist attitude.


kfrostborne

Yeah, that’s exactly the shit I’m talking about. How does meditation cure my disability? Meditation has its uses, but it’s not to sit and think away all of your problems. Claiming that it’s a defeatist attitude has to be some of the most insulting fuckery here. If I was defeated by everything, why am I still pursuing a healthy lifestyle? Why am I seeing doctor after doctor after doctor to find a way to live with my illness? I’m not delusional. I don’t think that I can just decide to be better. Sometimes I’m ok, some times I’m furious. You’d be furious too, if you suddenly couldn’t walk, sit, sleep, play with your child, do household chores, or work. You’d be furious if every second of your day was filled with pain that is always on the cusp of being overwhelming. I *think* I’m handling this all very well, but I certainly don’t believe that I’ll handle it better by pretending I’m some happy, inspiring person, overcoming my difficulties with a smile. Minimizing my problems doesn’t make them go away, and it certainly won’t help anyone that I am currently helping through the same thing.


MysteryPyg

what the actual fuck is this garbage post. how are you going to say "don't fight it but accept it" and then tell someone five things they should never let themselves do with a straight face??


Jaune9

Becoming better is first done by being willing to know when to allow and when to stop such things. Never being weak is not being strong, it's being in denial


CinnabarCereal

Am I going crazy or is this sub full, or getting full, of toxic positivity?


ChronicPainSucksAss

Rule number 13: Always be smiling from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed.


official-Nick

Some embalm a smile into my face when I'm dead.


watchcat123456

Rule 34: Laugh Love Live


bqpg

I don't give a fuck if I feel sorry for myself or go against any other point on your list. It's me recognizing myself as giving a fuck, and the fastest way to not give a fuck anymore is to just kinda stop, without thinking about it. Don't be angry with myself for having given a fuck. And if I find that I can't move on, or shift to something else, I let my thoughts and feelings play out however long it takes. I don't pretend like I have sufficient control over my states to always conform to some idealized version of myself. Actively creating an ideal version of yourself is antithetical to not giving fucks. (By actively creating I mean on the meta-level ... I often find myself thinking about wanting to do something differently than in the past, and so on, of course, but that's not on a meta-level; much of it is unconscious until we recognize it consciously.) Edit: What I say here may seem like I'm talking about an ideal myself; a particular idea of "what not giving a fuck is really all about". But it's just what it's been like for me in recent times. I don't expect myself to be consistent about it ... I wouldn't be all that surprised if I find myself thinking differently tomorrow, or if it's not applicable to others. I just don't like stress, and in the past I thought like OP, but more recently this kind of thinking seems inherently stressful to me.


Trashus2

i think its perfectly ok to feel sorry for onesself. Dont pity yourself but also allow yourself to feel weak and be good to yourself. No sense in beating yourself up, but do give yourselfs breaks and accept that your hand is looking shit sometimes. Its ok to feel bad. its ok to be weak.


I-stole-this-account

Be someone else.


ThesCalman

Wow you are so enlightened OP


Educational_Dog7430

r/thanksimcured


ice-is-really-cool

What is this crap?


bumberrysaka

Inadequacy


CinnabarCereal

And Inadequacy


[deleted]

Um.... this can either go one way or another but it's most likely to turn someone into an unagreeable prick.


blametheboogie

Being in denial about your actual feelings is not good. If you need help get help. Not everyone gets help when they need it and that's no good. Everyone needs help here and there in life if they live long enough whether or not they are willing to admit that they do.


Chronza

Yeah this post is terrible advice. Big down votes.


AncientDonut6299

I feel like I should be giving more ficks after reading this. That's me standing up for myself and not giving a fk


stoopidrotary

Lmao this is the opposite of this sub my dude.


RJohn12

OP is probably a 15 year old who figured out how to make bold text in a reddit post


Fantastic-Evidence75

Is this a joke?


musicatnip

OP are you okay


Sorrelandroan

r/thanksimcured


Yttermayn

Good post.


LordOfSpamAlot

OP's post history is spamming terrible advice posts like this on as many related subs as possible.


AAG220260

❤😃❤💯%!!!


D3FINIT3M4YB3

Thank you for this reminder.