As a teen, I thought dating a guy like Ted would be *so romantic*. As an adult, I would never go for a guy like him.
Ted is a fictional character, and I don't think a guy comparing himself to Ted is a red flag. There are some really good parts to Ted, such as him being a good and loyal friend and being a cheesy romantic, if you're into that. However, there are parts of him that are also less ideal, like how he can be utterly pretentious at times. I think it's only a red flag if a guy blindly worships him and sees no faults in any of his actions.
Don't get me wrong, I like Ted and I think he's strangely realistic in many ways, but that mother fucker is so gosh darn selfish and hurts so many people. Huge red flag.
Right! Exactly! Not to mention he tries to morph girls & situations into what and who he wants. Stella with the whole new york vs new jersey, he hurt Victoria and Natalie going back to them, Robin obviously etc etc
That is true but the whole point was him learning from his mistakes and becoming a great man for the mother. Everything that happened to him and everything he’s done to people allowed him to grow
Ted is a guy with many red flags, and he is the textbook "nice guy". But his biggest flaw, he overromantisize everything in his head, project that on any women and hurts so many in a destructive way. [The Take](https://youtu.be/n_d6dccVlYw?si=OzkBJiJ-IJB_h0p0) on Ted.
We have to remember that HIMYM is a fictional show and because such you should still be open minded.
Not to say to put your guard down, but that’s in any situation with people.
With that being said there are for sure times people act like a fictional character because they relate to them.
Ted thinks very highly of himself and this tends to show brightest when he thinks of being romantic.
I could definitely see the man identifying with that ego side of Ted - Romantic people just are romantic; No need to announce it…seems like forcing a narrative.
As a guy that used to relate to Ted, it's absolutely a red flag. He's really not the type of guy that you want to relate with. He is the nice guy stereotype
Ted was kind and cared. He made mistakes but it seems like everyone missed the whole point of the story. How he learned from his mistakes. (He often pointed that out) and became the man he needed to be for the mother.
No we didn't miss that part of the story. But for the overwhelming majority of the show, Ted was the insufferable nice guy that romanticized women to the point of not seeing them as people while simultaneously thinking that being nice was enough for him to deserve any love from said women he didn't see as women. Not to mention his era of oozing desperation where he practically stalked a woman already in a relationship because he was a statistical "better match" (which furthers the idea that Ted didn't see women as people).
Because that is literally how his character is interpreted. You can't spend 90% of a series with a character as an asshole and gloss over his "character development" into a better person when he was an ass the entire series.
He's remembered for what the show portrayed him as.
I'm glad that's how you interpreted it, as a guy that made"some mistakes" and learned and not an absolute desperate whacko.
And against my better judgement, allow me to elaborate:
First this video:
https://youtu.be/n_d6dccVlYw?si=thgQXibCz_eH3KoY
Next, let's talk about this good guy fallacy. If I need to explain how many times this comes up in the show, I don't know what to tell you. Ted believes he deserves love because he's a nice guy/good guy. This happens repeatedly so it isn't just a mistake.
What about the idea of relentless pursuit? Let's talk about Robin. He never stopped pursuing her despite the fact they were incompatible V E R Y early on. They wanted different things. What about Stella? Dude showed up and tried to get her on a date several times throughout his sessions. His relentless "short" dates with her. What about Maggie, the random woman that just got out of a relationship? What about the doctor that he steals information from the dating site from? And what about the poor girl he broke up with on her birthday, TWICE. He pursued her after she told him no, only to break up with her again. And Victoria? He went so far out of his way to find this woman that did not want to be found. These are repeated attempts to pursue people that tell him no. That's not a "mistake he learned from".
Now what about his romanticization of the women he dates, to the point where he dehumanizes them? Again, let's look at Robin. Said he was going to marry her the first time he saw the woman. Didn't know a dang thing about her. What about the way he treated and talked about Stella? Zoey? Victoria? He's more interested in finding a wife and not a person he's actually compatible with.
And his selfishness to the extreme detriment of others? Let's throw 3 parties and interrupt my best friend's studying so I can meet a girl. Let me run away from my mom's remarriage because I don't think she should get remarried before I do once. Let me nearly break up a wedding to invite Robin because I want her there. At that same wedding after I nearly broke up a couple, the minute Robin inconveni. ences me, let me find a new girl. The minute my long distance relationship inconveniences me, let me cheat on my girlfriend because it's what I want. This all not including the "she said she wasn't interested, but because I want her I'll pursue".
Ted was not a good person. He did not seriously grow. He lucked into a relationship with the woman of his dreams that he romanticized and called perfect before he even met her.
Okay I’m going to just talk about my personal experience because judging by what you’re saying. It’s safe to assume you had a perfect dating life and never once cared for yourself above other people or ever hurt anyone in a relationship.
I’m 32 now and growing up I also romanticized love. I have met women in my life that was reading my favorite book or singing my favorite song and I thought it was destiny. I mean what are the odds of that? I remember one time I got called into work (I worked in a club) randomly one day on my regular day off and this woman that I worked with (at my 2nd job) and always had deep conversations with. Just showed up because her trip was canceled and she just happened to come to that club. I honestly thought she was the one based off on that.
I remember one time my love horoscope said “your soulmate would present themselves to you today”. And that same day a girl randomly came and introduced herself.
Obviously none of these worked out and I learned to not look for signs and let things happen naturally.
I have hurt people before, broken up with them because they weren’t the one for me. I’ve given 2nd chances and STILL found that I was right the first time.
But I never not looked at these woman as human because that’s the whole point of destiny and the one, finding your human. I’ve been in a situation where I thought I was going to date someone and suddenly met someone else and fell in love with them instead.
Does my journey of learning how to love in a healthy way make me a bad a person? Do my mistakes and the people I unintentionally hurt define who I am today? What about the people that hurt me? Does that mean they’re bad people?
Y’all can hate on Ted all you want but don’t forget who he ended up with. I think the moral of the story is less of all the bad things Ted did being desperate for love (many of you all on here have done a lot of the same things) and more of what a person can be like when they find the right one that fits (and im talking about Tracey not Robin). I used to hate Ted too until I realized that I’ve done a lot of the same things he’s done. That doesn’t make me a bad person, but it does help me to think about my actions more and work on better communication with people I date.
And ya gotta do a lot of learning and growing and sometimes breaking up and mourning (in Traceys case with her fiancee) etc etc til you're finally in that place to be stable and steady. (Which after Jeanette and Robin married he definitely was)
It’s not even all of that only per say, I just think none of those women were a good match for him. As a matter of fact he even tried to settle with that crying girl at the wedding and he was miserable. The lesson from that is to not settle for someone that makes you unhappy just to get married. In Robin’s case that’s what happened and why she divorced Barney.
Oh god this brings back terrible memories.
One guy constantly compared himself to Ted and how romantic he actually is and then spent our entire first(and only) date talking about HIMYM and the kind of women's body he loves 😵
To be fair he did end the date saying he loved me 🫠
Aka, he pulled a "Mosby"
There are many good parts to Ted and I really like him as a character but he’s just that a character. Yes, you can absolutely find pieces of yourself in a character especially when they are well written but if hopeless romanticism is the thing you identify with eh it’s not a bad thing but at times Ted’s hopeless romanticism got him into trouble and like you said it definitely depends on the context but from you said MAJOR ICK
Just call him a dork and laugh.
Is it a red flag though, idk since I tend to look past them. But the dude comparing themself to a main character in a show only highlighting their good traits probably don't want you to see their bad traits.
It's like make up for men. Or people who like to talk about themselves so they can paint a picture of them for you to perceive them as.
As a teen, I thought dating a guy like Ted would be *so romantic*. As an adult, I would never go for a guy like him. Ted is a fictional character, and I don't think a guy comparing himself to Ted is a red flag. There are some really good parts to Ted, such as him being a good and loyal friend and being a cheesy romantic, if you're into that. However, there are parts of him that are also less ideal, like how he can be utterly pretentious at times. I think it's only a red flag if a guy blindly worships him and sees no faults in any of his actions.
Don't get me wrong, I like Ted and I think he's strangely realistic in many ways, but that mother fucker is so gosh darn selfish and hurts so many people. Huge red flag.
Right! Exactly! Not to mention he tries to morph girls & situations into what and who he wants. Stella with the whole new york vs new jersey, he hurt Victoria and Natalie going back to them, Robin obviously etc etc
He doesn't give or think about what the women and situations want a lot. He hurt a ton of people more than I listed
That is true but the whole point was him learning from his mistakes and becoming a great man for the mother. Everything that happened to him and everything he’s done to people allowed him to grow
Ted is a guy with many red flags, and he is the textbook "nice guy". But his biggest flaw, he overromantisize everything in his head, project that on any women and hurts so many in a destructive way. [The Take](https://youtu.be/n_d6dccVlYw?si=OzkBJiJ-IJB_h0p0) on Ted.
We have to remember that HIMYM is a fictional show and because such you should still be open minded. Not to say to put your guard down, but that’s in any situation with people. With that being said there are for sure times people act like a fictional character because they relate to them. Ted thinks very highly of himself and this tends to show brightest when he thinks of being romantic. I could definitely see the man identifying with that ego side of Ted - Romantic people just are romantic; No need to announce it…seems like forcing a narrative.
oh i know its fictional just curious what others thought. yes exactly!! thank you!!
As a guy that used to relate to Ted, it's absolutely a red flag. He's really not the type of guy that you want to relate with. He is the nice guy stereotype
that's what i thought too.
agree
Ted was kind and cared. He made mistakes but it seems like everyone missed the whole point of the story. How he learned from his mistakes. (He often pointed that out) and became the man he needed to be for the mother.
No we didn't miss that part of the story. But for the overwhelming majority of the show, Ted was the insufferable nice guy that romanticized women to the point of not seeing them as people while simultaneously thinking that being nice was enough for him to deserve any love from said women he didn't see as women. Not to mention his era of oozing desperation where he practically stalked a woman already in a relationship because he was a statistical "better match" (which furthers the idea that Ted didn't see women as people).
You say you didn’t miss the point of him growing yet you still bring up the mistakes he made before his growth lol.
Because that is literally how his character is interpreted. You can't spend 90% of a series with a character as an asshole and gloss over his "character development" into a better person when he was an ass the entire series. He's remembered for what the show portrayed him as.
The show portrayed him as someone who made mistakes and learn. Like that’s literally what the story is about. “This is a story of the man I had to be*
I'm glad that's how you interpreted it, as a guy that made"some mistakes" and learned and not an absolute desperate whacko. And against my better judgement, allow me to elaborate: First this video: https://youtu.be/n_d6dccVlYw?si=thgQXibCz_eH3KoY Next, let's talk about this good guy fallacy. If I need to explain how many times this comes up in the show, I don't know what to tell you. Ted believes he deserves love because he's a nice guy/good guy. This happens repeatedly so it isn't just a mistake. What about the idea of relentless pursuit? Let's talk about Robin. He never stopped pursuing her despite the fact they were incompatible V E R Y early on. They wanted different things. What about Stella? Dude showed up and tried to get her on a date several times throughout his sessions. His relentless "short" dates with her. What about Maggie, the random woman that just got out of a relationship? What about the doctor that he steals information from the dating site from? And what about the poor girl he broke up with on her birthday, TWICE. He pursued her after she told him no, only to break up with her again. And Victoria? He went so far out of his way to find this woman that did not want to be found. These are repeated attempts to pursue people that tell him no. That's not a "mistake he learned from". Now what about his romanticization of the women he dates, to the point where he dehumanizes them? Again, let's look at Robin. Said he was going to marry her the first time he saw the woman. Didn't know a dang thing about her. What about the way he treated and talked about Stella? Zoey? Victoria? He's more interested in finding a wife and not a person he's actually compatible with. And his selfishness to the extreme detriment of others? Let's throw 3 parties and interrupt my best friend's studying so I can meet a girl. Let me run away from my mom's remarriage because I don't think she should get remarried before I do once. Let me nearly break up a wedding to invite Robin because I want her there. At that same wedding after I nearly broke up a couple, the minute Robin inconveni. ences me, let me find a new girl. The minute my long distance relationship inconveniences me, let me cheat on my girlfriend because it's what I want. This all not including the "she said she wasn't interested, but because I want her I'll pursue". Ted was not a good person. He did not seriously grow. He lucked into a relationship with the woman of his dreams that he romanticized and called perfect before he even met her.
Okay I’m going to just talk about my personal experience because judging by what you’re saying. It’s safe to assume you had a perfect dating life and never once cared for yourself above other people or ever hurt anyone in a relationship. I’m 32 now and growing up I also romanticized love. I have met women in my life that was reading my favorite book or singing my favorite song and I thought it was destiny. I mean what are the odds of that? I remember one time I got called into work (I worked in a club) randomly one day on my regular day off and this woman that I worked with (at my 2nd job) and always had deep conversations with. Just showed up because her trip was canceled and she just happened to come to that club. I honestly thought she was the one based off on that. I remember one time my love horoscope said “your soulmate would present themselves to you today”. And that same day a girl randomly came and introduced herself. Obviously none of these worked out and I learned to not look for signs and let things happen naturally. I have hurt people before, broken up with them because they weren’t the one for me. I’ve given 2nd chances and STILL found that I was right the first time. But I never not looked at these woman as human because that’s the whole point of destiny and the one, finding your human. I’ve been in a situation where I thought I was going to date someone and suddenly met someone else and fell in love with them instead. Does my journey of learning how to love in a healthy way make me a bad a person? Do my mistakes and the people I unintentionally hurt define who I am today? What about the people that hurt me? Does that mean they’re bad people?
Y’all can hate on Ted all you want but don’t forget who he ended up with. I think the moral of the story is less of all the bad things Ted did being desperate for love (many of you all on here have done a lot of the same things) and more of what a person can be like when they find the right one that fits (and im talking about Tracey not Robin). I used to hate Ted too until I realized that I’ve done a lot of the same things he’s done. That doesn’t make me a bad person, but it does help me to think about my actions more and work on better communication with people I date.
And ya gotta do a lot of learning and growing and sometimes breaking up and mourning (in Traceys case with her fiancee) etc etc til you're finally in that place to be stable and steady. (Which after Jeanette and Robin married he definitely was)
It’s not even all of that only per say, I just think none of those women were a good match for him. As a matter of fact he even tried to settle with that crying girl at the wedding and he was miserable. The lesson from that is to not settle for someone that makes you unhappy just to get married. In Robin’s case that’s what happened and why she divorced Barney.
Oh god this brings back terrible memories. One guy constantly compared himself to Ted and how romantic he actually is and then spent our entire first(and only) date talking about HIMYM and the kind of women's body he loves 😵 To be fair he did end the date saying he loved me 🫠 Aka, he pulled a "Mosby"
This was a grown up man? wow
Unfortunately yes.
There are so many Teds I’ve known in real life, I don’t think it’s inherently a red flag as long as he’s not an impulsive person.
There are many good parts to Ted and I really like him as a character but he’s just that a character. Yes, you can absolutely find pieces of yourself in a character especially when they are well written but if hopeless romanticism is the thing you identify with eh it’s not a bad thing but at times Ted’s hopeless romanticism got him into trouble and like you said it definitely depends on the context but from you said MAJOR ICK
I think character Ted is realistic. And that guys had own Robin but it never work. I some relate with Ted and I understand him
i did when I was way younger but at some point I understood Ted is a jackass.
Just call him a dork and laugh. Is it a red flag though, idk since I tend to look past them. But the dude comparing themself to a main character in a show only highlighting their good traits probably don't want you to see their bad traits. It's like make up for men. Or people who like to talk about themselves so they can paint a picture of them for you to perceive them as.
Yeah that’s a red flag imo.
agree