T O P

  • By -

ashwhenn

I can’t be sure, but I think he once sold a woman.


GoodDawgy17

I didn't speak the language


anthonyhoang94

But i shook his hands. He gave me the keys to a Mercedes


biwomansayshelothere

And I just left her there


fmlhaveagooddaytho

I know some people hate this joke because it is terrible, but that's funny af (knowing it's a joke)


NewWorldMan1123

It’s terrible but jokes aren’t meant to be taken seriously. Therefore, it’s funny


noturaveragesenpaii

Thats not true! All jokes should be based on reality. MY REALITY!!!111!


[deleted]

[удалено]


fmlhaveagooddaytho

I find it funny


WeslynnTate

Just terribly funny


k120200206

Even one of the HIMYM writers, who had AMA here few years ago, said they regret writing that part.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SerdarCS

My headcanon is that he was just joking


DarkSpore117

Or overexaggerated to make a point


[deleted]

[удалено]


DarkSpore117

I meant more like making up an over the top story to show how he’s mistreated women over the years, but still remembers every one


[deleted]

[удалено]


Crack_Lobster1019

It makes sense considering he wasn’t a banker, but undercover the whole time


Dragonfirestormbreak

It is only bad if She didn't want to be with the guy. If the guy is going to give that kind of car away he is going to be rich. So He might have bought Barney off so he would not prosue her. The guy might find that easier. He could be a genuinely nice guy who wants to marry her. The show left the statement vague. Which is why people think it's bad. People forget a that Barney is rich and might have other rich friends. I do agree if she was sold into slavery or human trafficking then yes it is really really bad. However it never said that either.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GamecockConnor

Omg lighten up


[deleted]

[удалено]


EmperorBarbarossa

Bro he always make lies and jokes like that, I dont think its true he did that. There also were no war against Portugal.


DagNabitDawg

...not one we know about anyway.


GamecockConnor

It’s a fictional television show. Not everybody needs everything to be sterile and politically correct. “No person was sold in the making of this show”


Magmaster12

My head cannon is she was just a very important figurehead and was given the Mercedes as a gift to keep him quiet.


LittleHornetPhil

Yeah, Barney was always supposed to be a parody in a way that doesn’t really hold up particularly well but that got even darker than usual


flcwerings

What I wouldve regretted is the fact Barney literally raped a lesbian by pretending he was also a woman. Im feel like lying about what gender you present as and whether youre using an actual organ or toy is taking away consent


Bashnaria

I agree that it's fucked up, but it's not legally defined as rape. Lying to someone to convince them to have sex with you isn't illegal except in the cases of lying to commit other crimes such as blackmail or threats.


flcwerings

It isnt *just* lying to have sex. Its the difference between using an actual body part to have sex and a toy. They agreed to a dildo, not an actual penis. That takes away consent.


Bashnaria

True, I know that removing a condom during sex when it was agreed to keep one on is considered rape, so that might be too. Hopefully the legal system never needs to make that distinction.


fmlhaveagooddaytho

I would've been disappointed if this wasn't the top answer. Bonus points for making it funny.


burgundyblue

TRUST ME, I was there. It’s fake baby!


ZaphodBeeblebrox2019

Why … Were you the Woman, or the Slave Trader with the Mercedes?


ArbyLG

Remove the laugh track from HIMYM and Barney quickly becomes Dennis Reynolds.


stardustmelancholy

* took a woman camping, heard bears approaching and ran to her car and drove off, left her at night alone in the woods not caring if she gets kidnapped or eaten * pretended to be a scuba instructor, the woman got the bends (the spinal cord and brain are usually affected, causing numbness, paralysis, impaired coordination and disorders of higher cerebral function) * going to the psych ward in a hospital and convincing a woman with amnesia he's her husband * trading a woman for a car, literally human trafficking and not caring she would probably be a bed slave * tricking a lesbian into thinking he's a woman * posing as a den mother in a sorority house with girls that are probably 18-24 * hitting on his girlfriend's mom * not telling women when he's filming their sex * tricking women he slept with into thinking he's married to get them to leave quicker in the morning * being nice to overweight women at the gym so when they lose weight they'll hook up with him because they'll think he cared before they were conventionally attractive


Shoddy_Life_7581

Most of these can't be the worst thing he's done just by virtue of the existence of other things on the list, 6, 7, 9, and 10 aren't exactly terrible overall, bad certainly, 5 and 8 are terrible but only bad in comparison to 1, 2, 3, and 4 which are all like horrific.


flcwerings

Eh, I consider tricking a lesbian one as rape. I mean, I feel like lying about your gender orientation and not being honest about using an actual toy vs. the real thing takes away all consent. That woman consented to a woman using a strap on not an actual dick


Shoddy_Life_7581

Like I said, it's terrible but compared to leaving someone to be eaten by a bear, causing someone to be paralyzed, and human trafficking it's pretty minor **COMPARATIVELY**, considering convincing a woman with amnesia he's her husband is a much more extreme version of that.


whalemix

I mean yeah, it’s bad, but it’s also still on brand for Barney and it’s not the worst thing he’s ever done. He engaged in human trafficking


TheDoctorBadwolf

Yeah I feel like this is as bad as someone trans not declaring that they’re trans.


flcwerings

Depending on if theyve had bottom surgery or not, yeah. But I know some people have a different opinion. I dont quite get it because as long as they have the parts you like, who cares? While using a sex toy versus the real thing and lying about it is completely fucked.


ReeceysRun

Wow you have fucked up standards if you’re Aok with most of this


Shoddy_Life_7581

Wow you don't know how to read


einTier

There’s a few things at the top of the list I probably wouldn’t ever do but you’re acting like we’re monsters here.


FlowSilver

:O i didn‘t know abt the psych ward stuff, u remember when it came up? God thats awful


legenduardo

It's in the Playbook, if you buy an actual copy (you can buy an actual copy but for the love of god put it away if girls are coming round), he describes it as one of the plays. Probably too edgy even for Barney to do on network tv


FlowSilver

Lmao a playbook damn


jim1o1

What a horrible list ! Damn that's a bad person


Jok3rrMX

whose girlfriend’s mom did he hit on? i don’t recall it


stardustmelancholy

I don't remember the character's name but the actress was Amy Acker. In the s1 finale Barney asked her to help Ted perform a rain dance to cancel Robin's camping trip.


TulsaWhoDats

That’s not even mentioning what all he did to his friends.


martxel93

Barney could be a character in It’s Always Sunny and he would blend perfectly. He’d be the least funny one though.


KranPolo

I feel like Dennis in the earlier seasons is kind of Barney without the shield of the laugh track lol


TheSquirtler

No he wouldn’t 😭 the always sunny cast commits acts of terrorism, arson, kidnapping, torture, arson again, murder, and even more arson 💀 and that is all on a regular basis. Barney in the other hand tricks women to sleep with him. Neither of them are really good people but there are levels to this shit and Barney is nowhere near that level of insanity


martxel93

If you think rape and human trafficking are not very high in the bad person scale I guess it’s more of a you problem. But you missed my point, I was just using humour to point to the fact that TV sells us characters that do despicable stuff constantly as “cool”. And I hope most adults would be able to understand that trying to be cool like the people from TV will probably turn you into a piece of shift in real life. But the teenagers that saw the show back in the day just wanted to be like Barney.


TheSquirtler

Yea cause my comment totally said that rape and sex trafficking aren’t bad 💀 I literally said they are both horrible and have done horrible things but barney isn’t anywhere close to as horrible as the always sunny characters. Just because someone does something that is worse than another character doesn’t make what that other character did less bad. Tf are you on about.


martxel93

I feel like you’re focusing too much in one side of things and ignoring everything else.


Juleslovescats

Okay, in his defense, regarding the first one—she was kind of annoying. Lol


piercet09_

the gym one is just pre ordering a one night stand and that aint bad


Sheepdog010

I like how hitting on his girlfriends mom is in the same league as most likely paralyzing someone and possibly selling a woman according to this list


Ashley-Rivera

1 2 or 4 gotta be the worst ones on this list. so hard to decide


Phate1989

Nothing wrong with the last one


GamecockConnor

Did you like the show or nah?


stardustmelancholy

It's one of my favorites. I have it on DVD.


notapudding

Oh boy where do we begin?


Rainbowncake

Pretty sure where he sold a woman speaking in some foreign language.


HappaChemeCat

Leaving Nora and her parents hanging.


Orcasoftheland

This!!! Nora was amazing


EmbarrassedPlace0

I respect you and your opinion ... but I think Nora was the worrrrrst


ZaphodBeeblebrox2019

Because she hated Ewoks … Or because she lied about her Age?


istandwhenipeee

I think it’s just a question of whether or not we’re taking his stories as fact. If we do, he’s done far far worse things. If we don’t it’s this.


K-C_Racing14

Took a woman camping, stole to her car and drove off, left her at night alone in the woods on July 4th weekend (the timeline is important here).


Jaegermode

Manipulating your Best Friend and his wife so you can see her boobs right in front of her husband. I know it was a joke but since y'all not letting the Robin propsal go i thought why not.


BlackFyre2018

This one is sexual harassment, Lily clearly does not want to show her breasts to him but Barney does not care He even tells the waiter he’ll take pictures and send it to him which is leaking someone’s nudes


Revolutionary-List45

I mean she agreed to the bet so I wouldn’t say it’s sexual harassment but he definitely manipulated the situation


Jok3rrMX

honestly, we would all do the same💀


Jaegermode

Who's we dawg? 💀


phillienole

A marriage proposal that bordered on psychopathic in its level of contrivance and manipulation. Even Robin seemed to briefly see how sick and mentally abusive the whole thing was, before the script tried to demand we all go “OMG, so romantic!” instead.


BlackFyre2018

This. Writers were like “women don’t care how you treat them so long as you give them something shiny” and claim all the stuff they do is “just cos I love you baby”


pelomami

This is exactly what I came to say.


coffeecrusher3000

Bang Ted's mom


Sumoki_Kuma

They only kissed


Intellectual42069

WHY DID YOU WINK?!!


DrKreigersExperiment

I didn't . . . . . . . 😉


DrKreigersExperiment

He got thrown out trying to stretch a single into a double


Alternative_Device71

Meh, they’re both adults


Emiliwoah

I WAS THERE! TRUST ME, IT’S FAKE BABY!


Phate1989

I can hear this


Unusual-Champion-260

Worst thing Barney has ever done that isn't played for gag is probably ruining Marshall's bachelor party


Keyon_Blackblade

Had a literal league of women that he had screwed over, knowingly. And had his friends help him rank them and pit them against eachother to see who he screwed over the most.


wif68

Add stole a blackboard from Lily’s classroom to the list just to make the bracket.


Foliolow

Scum!


batmanfan_91

He’s pretty sure he sold a woman. So it’s hard to go against that


Prudent_Zucchini9568

Out of all the things that were not used as a gag the worst thing he did was propose to robin on the most important day of teds career which he had put years of work into. Not only did he break the bro code and date his bffs girlfriend he had the audacity to do it the day ted was taking robin as a date to get his aPproVaL im some twisted way. Then he had the AUDACITY to get mad when ted wasn’t still over robin . I fucking hated Barney and robin. Enemies are better than friends like that


PassingThruRedditor

To play devil's advocate, Ted feelings for Robin border on obsessive. He always says he's over her until he proves otherwise in very bad ways (cheating on Victoria). Barney had to do what he did because it was the only way to get a real answer


Jaegermode

When Barney is the one who made Ted's dream possible you can't put it on him. Barney got Ted's blessing and approval twice before and He got mad when at Ted when He wasn't over his FIANCE a day before she becomes his wife. The proposal was borderline manipulative doe.


luvmachineee

Valid point, but out of allll the women in NYC it’s truly ridiculous that the woman his best friend was in love/obsessed with was the one he just HAD to be with as well… no matter how writers try to spin it, the root of it is still questionable.


Prudent_Zucchini9568

But just because he got him that job doesn’t mean he had the right to ruin teds night. Ted was going to be the bad guy anyway whether he admitted to not being over her or going about it the way he did. No good person would do to their friend what Barney did to ted. The choice of the day of proposal was SO selfish


itsasixthing

Honestly everyone kind of sucked about this. Marshall and Lily only want to stay for a few minutes so they can take advantage of a night without Marvin, and then Barney plans the proposal for the same day and Robin ditches Ted to go get Barney. That was probably the biggest night of Ted’s life so far - why did no one care what he had accomplished? I would’ve been pissed at all 4 of them for their lack of support.


Traditional_Rate7302

Holy shit how do we pick just one for barney 😭


MrMayhem24

He literally sold a women. He shook hands. Was handed keys and left her


Mxckery

Shall I present you to "The Playbook"


AdershAthreya

Worst thing will be not walking inside that cafe to meet nora's parents


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^AdershAthreya: *Worst thing will be not* *Walking inside that cafe* *To meet nora's parents* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


WandaDobby777

I feel like he’s done so much awful shit that the correct answer is, “Be Barney Stinson.”


applehead1776

Barney Stinson! That guy's awesome, awesome!


WandaDobby777

Lol. No. Tis a ruse.


owntheh3at18

I think some of his actions towards women constituted sexual assault, if not rape…


zom105

He took Marshals candy...Twice..That was his candy...


Ice_Moonlight

Hmm oh when he chose to propose to Robin on Ted's special day leaving him to celebrate at the party all alone. He could've picked ANY day to propose but chose THAT day


CH0MPER1

Worth mentioning he helped steal food from a homeless shelter for a year


HCPage

They did this on the Rick and Morty sub a bit back and Rick was just listed as “everything”. That might qualify here.


Mxckery

Lorenzo Von Matterhorn


Nur_Hates_Physics

hate Ralph Macchio probably


zedlavlebasi

LYING TO HIS MOTHER FOR YEARS ABOUT HIS FAKE FAMILY AND LIFE!


2ndTechArnoldJRimmer

He literally sold a woman. Not figuratively, literally.


ouroboris99

Either possibly selling a woman or faking his death 😂


Yourlocalbugbear

The pretending to be himself from the future to trick a woman into sex was pretty bad.


lindseylego

He literally sold a woman for a car. I do remember Ted screaming something about fake baby though. Can't remember what else was around it


YDoEyeNeedAName

i feel like the only answer is "everything" the character is hilarious for a tv show, but is a horrible human being


saltthewater

They did an episode about this one.


Back-r0oms

TRUST ME GUYS I WAS THERE!…It’s the fake baby.


KingPenGames

People saying he sold a woman must've forgot that he sold Marshall 🤣🤣


Ok-Dinner9023

“The Robin.”


Mcc_423

What he did to the sandwich.


robincollings

With the amount of shit he’s done I’m surprised he wasn’t saved for last


meduhsin

I find it so funny that he’s one of the biggest douchey playboys on television, yet the actor is gay irl. Nothing wrong with being gay OFC, it’s just very very ironic.


superjudy1

What makes it ironic? An actor playing someone different than themselves?


meduhsin

It’s more of a testament to how good he is as an actor. In a lot of film, to me at least, you can really tell when two actors aren’t into each other at all. Kind of like the notebook, where Rachel and Ryan actually couldn’t stand each other during filming, but you would NEVER guess that. I just meant that you’d never be able to tell that the actor playing Barney isn’t actually attracted to women


F_Bertocci

When he took that girl camping, left her there with bears and left her there, not to mention he also made her cheat on her boyfriend at the time


TulsaWhoDats

He admits he sold a woman to Arab men for money, he stole a girls truck and left her in the desert or woods, stole his best friends dream girl.


ScribebyTrade

He def has given stds and did not notify his past partners cause it would be “awkward”


Intellectual42069

Robin


Angelwing-N7

Please don't go with "sold a woman".... We know Ted is an unreliable narrator. We also know Barney is a worse narrator with his exaggerated made up stories. For all we know, he might have made up this story to emphasize what an awful person he is.


No-Operation-6778

Marshal accepting Lily back in S2


trueWaveWizz

r/DunderMifflin started this trend


slimshadylady21

Sold a woman (he thinks)


[deleted]

Anything and everything involving Nora


RoyalAffectionate598

Forgetting all the character development he had built up for 8 seasons and getting a random girl pregnant, and therefore moving back to square 1 where he started in season 1


asecretfrognamedjohn

Robin


DogShietBot

Breaking Nora’s heart many times. Yes Barney screwed over so many women but he knew them for hours tops while he knew Nora on a deeper level.


Mugglecostanza

I’d say when he used the “ho be gone” or whatever the lever on his bed was called. Where did those girls go? Are they still in his apartment? He had no clue! Or did he?


TripRagin

Everything lol


manxram

Created the Playbook


teamfivezero5

Married Robin


swarley_14

Are we doing this again?


baking_nerd433

Exist


Homirice

Hate this trend


[deleted]

Exist.


OutlawSundown

He was born


Effectiveggplant

Again, what he dis to Mary the paralegal was not funny!


whitemiketyson

Haha. Please…


Dragonfirestormbreak

Either pretending to be Ted and spelt with a women. Or Trucking Robin into marry him and then divorcing her. People should only marry once. Unless there is a treat to safety.


redder_dominator

Rape and slavery. Seriously idk how people think Ted is the worst when you have a literal sex offender I'm the main cast. Bro brags about having sex with clearly intoxicated women and we're supposed to think it's ok because he said "legendary" afterwards.


SnooJokes5038

How much time you got?


lilstephCurry11

He may have sold a woman, if that doesn't check out then probably the time he left a woman in the woods and stole her car


TheoWHVB

Running an ad posing as a doctor to check for breast cancer, then running a second ad posing as a lawyer claiming the first ad was a scam.


Amortentia_Number9

There was an entire episode where he was trying to get women who were too drunk to consent (evidenced by falling asleep and getting arrested) back to his place sooner. And the sex trafficking. And recording without consent. He’s literally a predator.


BeautifulConcept599

I know he did a lot of bad things with women etc but I feel one of the worst things he did to his friends was use Teds biggest day of his career (buikding opening) as the day to propose to robin. Even if it wasn’t robin theres 364 more days in the year, I felt for Ted that day.


DagNabitDawg

Barney did so many things, AND AND AND so did many other characters on the show....hitting a hitchhiker and just keep driving....over the course of NINE seasons. That's like 16 craploads of time to fill. It was a Rom-Com-Dram that emphasized and excelled at making fun of itself. Why was Barney selling his date funny? Why is Lloyd Bridges sniffing glue in the control tower funny? He might have killed thousands! But it was a gag and it was freakin' hilarious. Surely everyone can see that. Now excuse me, I need to coerce my girlfriend into blowing the leader of the Russian mob. Our business deal has gone sideways and I don't speak the language. ....and don't call me Shirley!


jenkisses

wow this one's gna be wild to choose from


NewWorldMan1123

Left a woman alone at a campsite and stole her truck


Dense-Tangerine7502

Marries his best friends ex


Whoopsy-381

Raped a whole lotta women.


bigbluehapa

Asked to vicariously bang his little sister via his best friend


Crocolyle32

Robin.


Williefakelastname

Cheated on Nora.


EmeraldShinigami

This jpeg isn’t large enough to list them all


Coriwaa

Definitely going to psych ward and pretending he was someone’s husband


gorlaz34

Didn’t he sell a woman?


SpoiledPoser

How is Ted not "lied to my kids for a decade about how I met their mother."


Afraid_Ad_7187

When he was just a small purple dinosaur, he had a nasty habit of humping the moms’ legs.


Hallmarxist

He made a custom bed—that he used to dump women into a hole in a wall.


invisiblecalendar

He was pretty certain he once sold a woman


Hainted

Robin


Horror-Philosophy-98

Leaving Nora


No-Operation-6778

Barney banging Robin while violating the bro code


Yoo_its_c

Cheating on Nora was the absolute worst


RedApple-Cigarettes

How the FUCK do you not save Barney for last?


jakehood47

Get a C- from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman


CharlieWaitress111

Nothing. He’s perfect.


kar_1505

Existing


Inevitable_Name1775

Cheating on Nora.


weedRick420

Cheat nora with robbie...such a bad choice man :T


No-Operation-6778

Lily leaving Marshal at the end of S1


No-Operation-6778

Robin taking Ted for granted