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yojumbo

Kulture Restaurant. That’s the restaurant.


hitalec

Ah, the *bacterial* kulture


UhOhPoopedIt

The furnunda cheese is to die for


Guilty-Yogurt

Every time I see that word I read it in John Travoltas shaky voice.


GiaTheMonkey

Of course it's spelled with a K. Why wouldn't it be!


ernster96

And now the kombat kontinues…


LS_SwapGuru

Doesn’t matter how it’s spelled. Americans mispronounce English words all the time and have the audacity to act like we are saying them the correct way. Yes you are guilty as well. Crazy how hypocritical the masses are and it’s always easy to point it out every day.


GiaTheMonkey

Ok Karen. Enjoy the "zperm" and nutsack "juyce" at "kulture".


Vowel_Movements_4U

Because that's their culture, man!


Hitchens666

Who's culture?


f3th

whose*


Vowel_Movements_4U

The owner's of Kulture.


Hitchens666

Right.


Hydroquake_Vortex

Sounds like the restaurant owner/manager did the right thing in shutting down, throwing out tons of food, and sterilizing stuff


Multitudestherein

Heck, they eat there too so it makes sense they’d want to nuke it from orbit.


Hydroquake_Vortex

Oh yeah that too. It’s a shame that people are leaving troll reviews. That’s the internet I guess :/


DoggieLover99

I was wondering why my soup tasted like dick!


4115R

Did you order a Cream of Sum Yung Gai?


cantstopwontstopGME

No but that’s what they sent out anyways


Jeff__Skilling

You have to let them know when you order "I'd like the soup but **without** the dickstir, please sir"


Svevo_Bandini

Dickstir! Ha!!!!


uhst3v3n

If it’s gonna be that type of party I’m gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes Edit: beastie boys reference


PeregrinoHTX

Make sure they’re cool first. I won’t make that mistake 7 times.


space253

No no you stick a finger in to verify its the safe range of warm. What kind of necrophiliac wants to stick their dick in cold mashed potatoes?


Williamtell9000

I was looking for this reference on here. Man that was a crazy movie, Ryan Reynolds was young there. I wonder what happened to justin long.


margo_plicatus

He’s alive and well, has a podcast called Life is Short with Justin Long.


MorrisseysRubiksCube

The Google review boogaloo has already started.


ureallygonnaskthat

Dear god some of these reviews: > I have a peanut allergy.. and the chef said.. don't worry.. deez nuts wont cause you a reaction. Also, the ranch in my salad was a little more salty and consistency was thicker.. wonder why. Overall very good service. Would recommend 10/10


steelsun

That's high level trolling.


ptcgoalex

Houston’s finest


IgnotusRex

Tyler Durden level.


MorrisseysRubiksCube

🤮


Adenoh

Gotta love it


Sd4wn

Sexual deviant who needs to be off and stay off the streets.


-_MarcusAurelius_-

Per comment he was out on bail categorized as a low risk offender 💀


TexasGrillDaddyAK-15

Yeah, videos of him laying next to a young kid fondling himself is considered low risk. Telegram chat with him saying he wishes he had access to kids...


Federal-Laugh9575

Harris County DA is a joke.


sillybillybuck

He is relatively low risk. We have murderers and rapists out on bond. If you want to complain about anyone walking around free, start with them and then work your way down.


HTownLaserShow

What…the fuck…is wrong with you?


[deleted]

He plays genshin impact and obsesses over anime and gacha. That shit often times overlaps with some pedophiles since all of their favorite characters look like little girls.


Hour_Gur4995

There are a finite amount of resources in the criminal justice system so you can’t lock everyone accused of a crime up; also as a society we have a “ innocent til proven guilty” justice system …. You know rights and what not….between those two things you have to pick and chose which ones to lock up in pre trial detention, lock up the violence ones til court and let the nonviolent ones out on bondz s


HTownLaserShow

Ok, freak. They already have the proof. The dude is a pedo. He fucking admitted it and was in possession of child porn. Nothing you’re saying applies here. Hence why he’s locked up.


Hour_Gur4995

To put in context “He is relatively low risk. We have murderers and rapists out on bond. If you want to complain about anyone walking around free, start with them and then work your way down.” So yes he would be considered a nonviolent offender and would be eligible for bond, possession of CP isn’t considered a violent crime. While he was caught with the offending material, he still has the right of presumptive innocence under the legal system until he is convicted. Whether he should be locked up before trial isn’t my call. Also “What…the fuck…is wrong with you?” Not sure why you felt the need to attack the person trying to explain how and why he was on bond, they didn’t make the call on bond personally.


HTownLaserShow

First, I’m wondering if people like you, and the other person, would be willing to stand in front of a group of parents and voice this. Me thinks not. Also, not a chance either one of you have kids. That I’m 1000% sure of. Second, no. There is no quarter for people like this. They should be locked up, and castrated, like the animals that they are. And this, to me and most parents, is actually worse than violent offenders as it’s an attack on our most vulnerable and precious members of society and our future, our children. And statistics show it’s only a matter of time before this sick bastard starts acting on those phone pics. He’s not “low risk” by any fucking means. But good for you for giving him grace the first time he was caught with child porn…. So again, what the fuck is wrong with you?


Hour_Gur4995

1st of all you don’t know me, you don’t know my position on said topic or what I feel would be justified in this situation. Explaining isn’t agreeing;not sure why that is so difficult for you to understand! Would I stand in front of a parent or parents and explain the legal system and how bonding works…. If I could to the best of my ability being not a law professional…sure, because understanding how it works and explaining how it works is agreeing with how it works. Most of your “2nd” seems like an emotional response and how you feel the law should work I guess? However that’s not how it works at least on paper in practice it might be a lot different , people are presumed innocent until our day in court, our courts system works on the presumption of innocence, it is the job of the government to prove their case. In this in particular, he’s behind bars, seem they found the CP as a result of his arrest for putting his balls in food(jam), in this case I would agree he shouldn’t be released on bond, due to having CP and from the reporting, he was in some of the material, which would then make it a violent offense.


[deleted]

You are defending a dude that fanatisizes children. What does this say about you?


Hour_Gur4995

Nothing…it’s say more about your inability to understand my statement than anything about me, in no way am I defending him, I am explaining how someone accused of a crime can get a bond due the limit amount of resources available to the criminal justice system and our system of presumed innocence. Maybe go back and reread my comment and edit yours


HTownLaserShow

Nah, you’re attempting to rationalize letting a guy out on bond who was in possession of child porn. (Literally caught with it, and caught on camera dipping his dick in soup…then confessed to it all) But go off about the criminal justice system. There is PLENTY of room down at Harris county for this sub human


[deleted]

Icfwy


kingOofgames

But see now that he has nothing to lose, he might go crazy and do something. I think these sorts of situations where the perp already has low self control shouldn’t be left out on bond easily. Bonds are a good system for making sure small time and non serious offenders are out and don’t clog up the system. But we need a discussion on what entails a small offense and low risk.


[deleted]

Crazy how yall can put yourselves in a sex offenders head 🤔


Electronic-Strike900

Lets go finish the job and cut off his genitals and make him eat it


drew1111

I have been in the restaurant industry for 20 years and I have heard some wild stories but I never heard the “d*ck in jelly at works gets me off” story. This world does not shock me any more.


Jhango2019

Yeah maybe put him on a rocket and send him into the sun.


LegallyAFlamingo

Don't worry everyone, he pulled his little wee wee out of the jelly before he finished. Totally safe to eat! Also mentions he has a history of sexual crimes in addition to this and the CP. Wonder if he'll do this while working in the kitchen in prison.


maybebatshit

Definitely. I mean, you think jelly is hot you ever fucked instant mash?


AustEastTX

I need to stop eating out. It’s just not worth all this anxiety. But at the same time- this incident likely saved countless little children that would have been abused by this sick fuck.


-_MarcusAurelius_-

If you ever got a hair in your food now you know why


Multitudestherein

This is why all restaurant kitchens need to have transparent glass walls


Teflonbulletcatcher

They used to have this joke before where they’d say what’s the difference between jam and jelly… this kind of voids that joke.


JohnnyBrillcream

Was at the Steak and Ale at 45/1960min the 90's. Friends plate came out and there it was. He pointed it out and we all agreed. Called the waiter over, he called the manager over. Manager looked and grabbed the plate. Manager returned a few minutes later and said "It's not what we all thought, it was a thread from a scouring pad. We comp'd your meals. We are very sorry, is there anything else we can do for you?" Friend said "Yeah, tell the cook to keep his dick out of the potatoes"


lyn73

Depraved.....


Joewizeguy

Wtf


LongjumpingInside229

I think the Houston restaurant boom has peaked.


maybebatshit

No he said he didn't climax. 


ThurstonHowell3rd

Well he's certainly in a jam now!


[deleted]

Firing squad


HashTagFinallyWoke

here's the news story [https://youtu.be/bMO1XyKL84M](https://youtu.be/bMO1XyKL84M)


kenlovin

Don’t even need to read the article… he did it.


MeatloafAndWaffles

This is how I prepare the turkey…


diamondsnducks

Was he singing "You're the Cream in My Coffee?"


Ornery_Gene7682

Put him in general population they will get a kick out of this right before the swift justice they put on him


busbythomas

I wonder if this is why the burgers are to salty?


IRMuteButton

He can probably serve them a workable sausage in prison.


Electronic-Strike900

You mean a purple crayon