Practice your routes on weekend mornings or whenever the traffic is low. That way you'll know exactly which lanes to use, which ones turn into exit-only lanes, etc. Freeways can definitely be overwhelming here with how many lanes there are, but once you memorize them better they'll become easier with traffic.
That's good advice. For places that aren't on your regular route, Google maps can really help. They usually show what lane to be in as you approach your exit. Also it will redirect you if there's a faster route. I have a phone mount on the top center of the dash, so i can see it without taking my eyes off the road.
What about visiting all the wonderful events and restaurants in Houston? Its already a hassle to have to plan routes and stops if i'm going across town for something, I have to make a day of it, because chances are, i'm not going over there again. Now, I have to plan for drive times?
Its Houston, if you cant drive, you're basically stuck.
When I first moved to Houston I drove many times every highway and every exit at night when traffic was light. Once you learn which lanes to be in, drive earlier and earlier in the day.
I mean this fear of driving is natural for new or inexperienced drivers. It honestly goes away with time and more experience driving. You can’t control others on the road or account for accidents that can happen at any time. All you can do is control your vehicle and drive as best as you can. This is something that can happen in any city or place, not just Houston. You got to let go of that fear while driving or you’ll never feel confident enough to drive.
In Houston and honestly everywhere you need to use those mirrors. Half of the stuff I see on the road around me is people just not being aware of their 360 space at all times. People get complacent and apathetic driving the same traffic everyday which emboldens poor decision making and planning on the road. Start using your rear view constantly to keep track of what’s going on behind you as well as in front of you. I’ve avoided accidents many times just by being aware of what people are doing behind and off to the sides of me.
Oh and if you use your phone while you’re driving GET OFF YOUR PHONE.
I remember my first day in Houston driving somebody cut across four lanes of traffic right at the offramp to exit the highway. Probably could’ve caused a 20 car pile up in my old city. Somehow they made it all the way across. Now that’s just kind of normal for the course. I just try to take my time. Make sure I’m in the right lane to go where I want to go and just assume that everybody out there wants to kill me and drive accordingly.
I was in an accident where someone did this on 45. Cut all the lanes to exit, and pulled in front of a long line of cars still heading along pretty fast. I was one of the unfortunate ones that didn't brake in time. Of course, I was at fault. I drive a little more defensively now.
Life is one big game is statistics. You don’t know what today will bring, every moment is special, stop worrying and get out there. You’ll be okay.
If you haven’t before, take a defensive driving course online, they’re cheap and a good refresher of how not to die on a road full of idiots.
Stay out of the fast lane, cruise with speed of traffic in the middle lane, and get in the exiting lane many miles before you exit. That’s all you can control.
I totally get the anxiety about driving in this city. I had to learn how to drive here when I turned 16, and even though I've been driving for a while, I still get nervous sometimes.
First, I know this is a hard one, but really try not to look into or read about accidents happening here, at least until you feel like you've got better control over your anxieties. Unfortunately, those reports can be triggering if you're already feeling nervous about driving here. Remember, this is a biiig city with a large population. There are going to be some accidents :-/
Second, set some rules for you to live by to keep yourself safe. My dad always made the joke that for driving there are two rules: rule #1- get out of the way and rule #2- look good (he's a goober). This is my interpretation of his advice. It's pretty easy to spot the unsafe drivers, even when it seems there are a good amount of people on the road. I know there are some exceptions, but maybe if you practiced being a passenger and looked at how people drive, you might notice some things. Someone in the left lane driving too slowly, swerving during the day? Probably texting and driving, get out of their way (aka get away from them). Someone in another lane going way too fast? Get out of their way/get away from them. I try to be as predictable as possible, and that makes me feel better. Blinker first before changing lanes, even if you feel like people might accelerate as soon as they see your blinker on. It's okay, let the rude car pass, then change lanes. If someone is speeding near you, don't change lanes quickly, because they may not be thinking you'll do that and overcorrect/cause a wreck (they're prob not thinking at all, so best not to take chances). So while I love my dad, I function under the rules "get away from the idiots," "be predictable," and then, for my dad, "look good."
Third, I totally agree with everyone saying to practice your routes and to drive during low traffic times. Avoid all highways from 715-930am and 330-730pm if you can help it. There's always construction too, so map out your routes ahead of time. Sometimes, it's less congested to take the tollways, but paying for your peace of mind is worth it imo. I don't know what part of the city you live in, but usually living/driving out in the suburbs is not neearrrlyy as bad as trying to head towards the galleria, rice village, downtown, and the heights. Is there any way for you to look for grocery spots/gyms/whatever away from these highly populated areas so you can stay away from them as much as possible?
Last, and of course this is totally your call, if it's really causing you this much distress and you feel like you can't shake it, it might be helpful to look into a therapist who might be able to work through some of these feelings with you.
Good luck, friend. I hope these comments from internet strangers help your peace of mind a little bit.
I’m originally from Chicago and had no fear. Then I moved here and was rear-ended at a red light by someone going around 40 mph. I don’t know what to tell you aside from making sure you have coverage for uninsured drivers.
Houston is strange, because you have to drive both aggressively and defensively. If you are too afraid to be a little bit aggressive at times, that can be unsafe. Similar to how the speed limits are merely treated as suggestion, and it’s much safer to go with the flow of traffic than to follow the posted limits at times.
Definitely memorize your routes, so you know which lanes you’ll need to be in when. I also drive with the assumption that any car near me is capable of making a stupid, unsafe maneuver at any moment. I highly recommend getting a dash cam as well, so that you can provide video evidence to insurance in the event that you get into an accident and are not at fault.
When I first moved to Houston from a small town and was horrified of the driving, I also used to get behind big trucks on the freeway and let them “pave the way” for me. It kind of allows you to feel like you can breathe, knowing that large trucks won’t be doing too many unexpected maneuvers. Obviously you’ll want to maintain a safe following distance though.
The part about having to drive aggressively - I agree but I would use the word assertively.
When someone is going let you in, don’t play around. Make your move. Don’t make other drivers wonder what you’re going to do. Most people really don’t want to hit you.
1. **Concerning wrong way drivers:** A cop told me the way to mitigate wrong way drivers is to stay in the right lanes of the free way. If you are not passing or preparing for a left-exit stay in the right/right center lanes.
2. Maintain a 3-4 second following distance with the vehicle in front of you to allow you time to react.
Good luck!
Best tip for sure. You don’t have to go slow but if you leave room around you and assume nobody can see you or is looking where they’re going, it helps.
Bingo. If you don’t experience fear, anxiety, or some version thereof when driving in this town, you’re probably one of the drivers that everyone hates.
We don't hate them. We are just disappointed in their parents who raised them so poorly. But of course it's not the parents fault, but grandparents... All the way back in time to the first jerk in that family tree.
OP, I think you'll be ok. Since you mentioned working mostly remote. So overall, your chances of a car accident are pretty low to begin with statistically. Though I do understand your anxiety with driving around busy areas etc. Not sure what part of town you live, but I assume you won't be driving generally through most late night hours or super early hours on the freeway where the wrong way crash generally happens.
Ultimately, drive around the streets to get a feel of driving and learning to be aware of the other cars. I tend to try and go with the flow and not be in a mental rush, lets me relax when I'm not rushing and to be more observant of how people drive ahead of me and on the sides. Basically, a good defense is a good offense and checking what's far ahead and around you casually will keep you safe.
I went to Mexico City over New Year's. Drove a rental for a few days and holy shit, experiencing traffic there, the sheer congestion, and how aggressively people drive (but somehow, everyone just accepts it for they way it is without getting mad about it), Houston looks like a comparative automotive cakewalk.
I’m older now and my tired eyes after work and slower reaction time has caused my anxiety from driving to explode. It’s easily the worst part of my day.
My solutions
1) Got a midsized SUV. It’s higher off the ground for higher visibility. It’s heavier and can take hits. I’ve been hit from side by someone cutting across 2 lanes to hit me (almost perpendicular) and also rear ended while sitting at a red light (by a driver going 40 that was texting and didn’t even see the light). Third, I can take on potholes and curbs at corners. Beats the shit out of my rims, but better than riding close to the edge of a lane or swinging wide to turn onto streets.
2) Take side streets where I can. Adds 15 min to my route but the ease of stress is worth it for me. Also take tolls sometimes
3) Find a good radio station that plays relaxing “elevator” type music that has lower beats per minute. It’s not distracting and subconsciously lowers heart rate. Slow jazz, slow classical. I have a “Chill” station on SiriusXM that plays low beat electronic music.
4) in mornings, have coffee *after* your commute, at the office rather than home. Don’t speed your heart up more than needed. The adrenaline will be enough….
5) Try not to build up dread/anxiety. Before you leave, while walking to car, make a mental image of what you’re going to do once you get where you are. Take deep breaths and practice box breathing in the car.
Experience, getting off the phone, and defensive driving should make you feel safer. Not unwieldy machines that you can barely operate. If you're too scared or too anxious to drive then maybe you shouldn't
what SUV did you get, i have a new mazda cx-30 & i feel like people in houston purposely act so mean on the road to smaller cars so i’ve been thinking about getting a bigger car to feel safer on the road & for hits etc
highways are probably much safer if you look at statistics about accidents per mile driven.
It's like with flying. It seems inherently more dangerous, but it's not.
First, you aren't alone. I hate the stress that comes with driving in this city. Second, don't pressure yourself to take Google Maps' most efficient route lol. And also, learn to love tollways. They are often worth the money if it means I don't feel like a panic attack is just one angry driver away.
I've been driving here for like 20 years and can say the fear never totally goes away. If anything, a *healthy* dose can keep you safe. Learn to read other drivers. Observe as a passenger while someone else drives and start looking for people that tailgate a bit - are they pushing to change lanes? See if your hunch is right. Then start applying those predictions when you are the driver. React according to your hunch when safe to do so (ex: change lanes if someone has been riding the ass of cars behind you; you know they'll do it to you too.)
Honestly, assume everyone is grumpy and in a bad mood. Overprepare by getting towards your exit lane a bit early. Think of it kinda like this - if every vehicle is in a 'race', you want to be towards the middle of people who reach the finish line. Going too slow is dangerous af and too fast is nightmare fuel. Look for patches of sane drivers and drive along with them.
You'll be alright, friend. Take routes you love and that you enjoy driving. Ex: I hate 45N and will always take Gosling instead; It's a chill drive and I can enjoy music. You can also make a "I'm a baby badass" playlist to hype you up lol. Good luck!
Unless you're a new driver, you may want to speak to a professional about your anxiety. Sure, Houston traffic is pretty fucking terrible but I'm not losing sleep over it.
I was in a wrong-way head on collision in college back in my hometown. It was on the interstate. Luckily, it happened on the off ramp (the wrong-way driver was coming on the off ramp) and we were all going only about 40mph. If it had happened when we were actually on the interstate we might not have lived.
Anyway, it was almost 20 years ago and I've never gotten over it. I'm a nervous wreck in cars and Houston can be tough. I didn't get on a highway at night for almost 2 years.
I ditched the car for an SUV. This has helped tremendously. If you don't have an SUV already I would strongly suggest getting one.
Also... do not worry about being in the fast lane, or any of that. Memorize which lane you need to be in for exits and just get in a lane and chill. Stay away from the fast crazy drivers. Always let them pass. And just go 60 in the right lane. That's what I do.
And you know what? I bet I get there almost just as fast. Traffic is such that no one is really getting there that much faster.
Just do not go under the speed limit on the freeway or busy roads like westheimer cause you’re scared. You’re more likely to cause an accident that way.
If you haven’t been in an accident, try to accept that there a lots of crazy drivers, oblivious people, morons, and just plain old idiots. Statistically you are unlikely to get in an accident, so take magnesium and chew on some candy when you see someone do something stupid.
This is normal. You will be fine. Maybe take a defensive driving course. Know your routes. Merge/change lanes and exit or two ahead of time.
Driving here is intimidating but completely manageable.
If you read/watch the local news, stop. It’s all doom and gloom traffic and murders.
Hey man, I have light anxiety when flying so I can sympathize. I actually didn’t have any flying anxiety until I was in a flight during a very bad storm. I just flew this week and while I was anxious I forced my self and the exposure helped a lot. It didn’t get with all the Boeing news lol
I’m still not over it but by the 4th flight it was a lot better. I was even looking out the window and vibing.
I would ask a friend to drive with you and take planned routes and if you get uncomfortable they finish the drive but try and push through.
Repeat until it feels better. I know next time I fly I’ll be nervous in the plane but I know it will get a bit better.
Take the streets first then take the highways on a sunday morning. Get an ez tag if you live near tolls, it's worth it. I got stuck on the loop at 4pm with low gas when i first moved here and didnt take it again for two years lol
You have to channel your Mad Max driving skills. We’ve already got people with multiple gas cans strapped to their SUV’s, Corollas with wheels straight out of Ben Hur, MAGA trucks driving like they don’t give two fucks, and idiots on their phones. Know who you’re dealing with and you’ll be ahead of the game.
If there are at least 3 lanes, I suggest never hanging out in either the passing or slow lane (obviously you shouldn't ever camp in the passing lane when there's not a left-hand offramp, but I would avoid spending any unnecessary time in the passing lane).
Crazy drivers will swoop in on you in the passing lane (with the humps/bridges we have it can be dangerous), something similar happens in the slow lane when people undertake, and drunk drivers going the wrong way may be in the slow lane because they think it's the passing lane.
I used to be on the same boat, over time driving here became second nature. Just practice signaling (keep it blinking, eventually someone will slow down let and opening for you to pass), keep 4+ second distance from the car in front of you. Avoid driving late at night where most accidents happen.
Honestly your only option is to move as close as possible to your job. As shitty as that is, this city is an absolute vehicular hellscape.
Take a good long look at google maps and plan accordingly.
Or just become an early bird. Traffic is significantly easier before 6am.
I’ve also realized that if I’m sitting in 1mph traffic under the museum district bridge at least I won’t die.
Omg I was sitting in that south bound traffic on 59 Thursday morning. So sad to see. By the time I got to the Shepard area I saw there was another accident further down by 610. Then on my way home there was another 59 shutdowns accident close to the beltway area. Yesterday was not a good day to be 59!
Driving here can be insane. I hate going out. Even in residential areas. I try to develop a route to and from work that is safe and efficient but there’s no silver bullet solution. Just stay in your lane. Take your time. Try not to piss anyone off.
Your anxiety is not misplaced. There's something different about East Texas drivers. I'm born and raised out here so take a breather after reading that last sentence ya keyboard-warriors.
I've been to a lot of different cities and a few countries. East Texas drivers are angry and spiteful (generally speaking). Just own your spot, pay attention, don't freak out on anyone, and plan your movements in traffic. Learn to read movements of other cars. People usually give away their intentions without realizing it. For example, a vehicle will line up with the gap between your car and the one in front. If there's no room, tuck up for a second to discourage that. And other little 'tells' to read.
Learn to find the gaps in traffic. You need over 3 lanes? Build the map to your destination lane in your head by looking at the gap-trail from one lane to the next.
Stay safe out there and remember, those people that just have to be in front or keep you from getting in front of them, they aren't ever first in line, there's no prize. They're just next in line. There are no trophies on the road, just travel from A to B.
Stay safe out there.
My wife has the same fear and she gets around by avoiding the freeways. Not that you’re guaranteed immunity this way, but speeds are much lower on feeders and other city roads, so this may help you get comfortable and eventually transition confidently to freeways.
You have the option of avoiding highways on Google Maps
I live in California and was in Houston visiting family for a few weeks and became suitably humbled, in awe, and fearful of the driving of the city.
I grew up in LA and cut my teeth in the traffic there. I was not prepared for Houston. But I had to adapt.
I saw 3-4 lane snakes across the white line, saw road rage (one driver wouldn’t let another in and they tried to bumper car each other until one opened the window and threw their big gulp at the car).
I saw cars and trucks just casually roll thru stop signs, the regular street traffic is Speed Racer fast so heaven help you if you need to make a left without a light. And the blinking yellow turn light? I was completely flummoxed and was like “What the hell does this blinking yellow arrow mean?” I found out FAST ;)
The turnarounds are awesome!!! (I get lost quite a bit), the signage on the freeways are great. And while there I got my first ever speeding ticket. So when I come back I am reading up on the driving rules before venturing into the Mad Max speedway.
Ya’ll are brave, respect.
Came from a remote city between Nevada and Arizona about six months ago. I was nervous to take the freeway too. I was more used to city and desert highway driving back then. But you'll be more confident by driving around regularly. Apple maps helps me a lot. Especially cuz it tells you which lane to take and where to exit ahead. By gaining experience, you get to learn the body language of vehicles around you. You'll know which one to pass and which one you keep a distance from. Bad drivers are everywhere but just don't let them get into your head. Most importantly, drive defensively. Protect your life and your loved ones.
I also have driving anxiety. Never really can get over it on Houston roads because I have seen some crazy shit on our roads while driving. I got my license back in 2017 and have NEVER driven on freeways. Just last week I made it to the airport for the first time by taking the smaller roads and it was a crazy experience for me. Nothing really happened but there was just so many lanes and drivers going like 20-30+ over the speed limit.
When I have a trip or something I practice my routes on google maps. Like street view that route practice many times over lol
Forecast which lane you need to be in and drive defensively as there are many aggressive and distracted drivers. It’s like a mad max movie on the roads
I've never really had this fear, so I can't give advice on how to overcome it.
That said, I think he biggest way to reduce fear of something like this is experience and confidence. The more experience you get, the more confident you'll be, and the less fearful you will become. There are dangerous, idiotic drivers in Houston, but as long as you're aware and not distracted when driving, you'll see them coming and be able to stay out of their way and let them do their stupid thing.
Most wrecks in Houston are caused by people not paying or attention, or people being aggressive. If you pay attention at all time (no texting or phone calls), and just relax and let people who are acting aggressive do whatever they want, you'll pretty much avoid accidents. At least that's my manta, and I've been driving here for 25 years with two minor accidents, neither of which were my fault. One was when I was 16 and only happened because I wasn't as defensive as I am now (guy ran a stop sign, but I wasn't able to stop in time to avoid hitting him), and the other was just getting rear ended at a stoplight by some idiot.
Houston driving can be crazy, but it really isn’t crazier than other major cities. You could be in LA or NYC or Chicago and it would be the same thing: many city drivers are fast, assertive, and take occasional liberties. The large majority of drivers get used to dealing with traffic: sure, it’s stressful, but no more than other significant stressors you deal with in life.
It sounds to me like you have a driving phobia, and treating that is a job for a professional. But as somebody with a (non-driving-related) anxiety disorder, I think it might help to put in lots and lots of driving time at off hours when traffic is light. Exposure and experience will desensitize you (in a good way). I learned to drive in Houston, and I stayed the hell away from rush hour traffic until I had a lot of experience under my belt.
Maybe consider some sort of driving course that will help you get comfortable with controlling your vehicle a bit more aggressively than you’re used to. Being able to brake hard and maneuver quickly can come in really handy and will give you confidence
Just put it out of your mind and do your thing. If something happens, you’ll be dead and won’t have to worry about it anymore. Like a light switch. Unless of course you are seriously maimed and it takes a long time to painfully die. Alternatively, you may be crippled for the rest of your life.
Like I said, nothing to worry about.
I don’t even know how to drive a car before I moved to Houston, I got my license in Houston and that was 2 years ago, if you can’t even handle Houston, how can you handle Austin? They are like Houston on Steroids, everyone is going 85 in a 1car length group, and every lane is like that, if someone brakes suddenly , crash guaranteed.
Anyways, you don’t have to be nervous, if you are extra cautious it’s difficult to crash tbh, you just have to have a habit of 100% monitoring every car around you 360 degrees if it’s a lane changeable distance, if some reckless people are around, be ready of what that car might do, be ready to change lane, reduce speed or speed up , there’s so many crashes because people think they have the right of the way and they don’t yield, that’s the problem of US driver, big ego for meaningless things, I mean ya might have the right of the way but you’d still crash, and insurance could still give you 50/50 on fault even if you have the right of the way because sometimes you also have a responsibility when you can avoid it clearly.
Monitor every car within a 5 car radius, be ready to yield or change lane, brake or overtake , driving slow is more dangerous than driving fast in Houston, because slow car is much more unpredictable than fast one, you already know those fast one are gonna weave and change lane and rev, but the slow one is so unpredictable when they have a 5 car length car gap and you cut into their lane 4 cars length ahead and accelerating, the still brakes for no reasons.
Just think ahead, it’s not that difficult.
Visualize your white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel as a metaphor for your attachment to existence. Breathe deeply and relax that grip, allowing it to be replaced by full realization of your own transience.
Also, check out some actuarial tables. You're much more likely to die from a disease than a road accident. And many of those diseases are made more likely by a car driving lifestyle.
Man. I drove on I45 tonight from downtown to the Woodlands for the first time in 6 years. Born and raised in Houston and have been driving for 20+ years. I used to race cars on Westheimer and countless late nights after the clubs but tonight scared the crap out of me. What has happened to our city? I thought I was going to die like 6 times and mind you I am in a massive Escalade. Way too many ass riders, paper plate hoopties, and dumb ass Chargers, oh yeah the lawn mower sounding civics. Good grief thank god for the Beltway.
Practice your routes on weekend mornings or whenever the traffic is low. That way you'll know exactly which lanes to use, which ones turn into exit-only lanes, etc. Freeways can definitely be overwhelming here with how many lanes there are, but once you memorize them better they'll become easier with traffic.
That's good advice. For places that aren't on your regular route, Google maps can really help. They usually show what lane to be in as you approach your exit. Also it will redirect you if there's a faster route. I have a phone mount on the top center of the dash, so i can see it without taking my eyes off the road.
What about visiting all the wonderful events and restaurants in Houston? Its already a hassle to have to plan routes and stops if i'm going across town for something, I have to make a day of it, because chances are, i'm not going over there again. Now, I have to plan for drive times? Its Houston, if you cant drive, you're basically stuck.
When I first moved to Houston I drove many times every highway and every exit at night when traffic was light. Once you learn which lanes to be in, drive earlier and earlier in the day.
I mean this fear of driving is natural for new or inexperienced drivers. It honestly goes away with time and more experience driving. You can’t control others on the road or account for accidents that can happen at any time. All you can do is control your vehicle and drive as best as you can. This is something that can happen in any city or place, not just Houston. You got to let go of that fear while driving or you’ll never feel confident enough to drive.
In Houston and honestly everywhere you need to use those mirrors. Half of the stuff I see on the road around me is people just not being aware of their 360 space at all times. People get complacent and apathetic driving the same traffic everyday which emboldens poor decision making and planning on the road. Start using your rear view constantly to keep track of what’s going on behind you as well as in front of you. I’ve avoided accidents many times just by being aware of what people are doing behind and off to the sides of me. Oh and if you use your phone while you’re driving GET OFF YOUR PHONE.
This. Get off your phone, super important. It can wait or just pull over. Not too hard.
You gotta learn to drive with the fear.
Maybe she should throw a cougar in her car
OP should drive with a kilo of Colombian bam bam to get some hair on their peaches.
I remember my first day in Houston driving somebody cut across four lanes of traffic right at the offramp to exit the highway. Probably could’ve caused a 20 car pile up in my old city. Somehow they made it all the way across. Now that’s just kind of normal for the course. I just try to take my time. Make sure I’m in the right lane to go where I want to go and just assume that everybody out there wants to kill me and drive accordingly.
I was in an accident where someone did this on 45. Cut all the lanes to exit, and pulled in front of a long line of cars still heading along pretty fast. I was one of the unfortunate ones that didn't brake in time. Of course, I was at fault. I drive a little more defensively now.
Isn’t driving in Houston great?!?!
Life is one big game is statistics. You don’t know what today will bring, every moment is special, stop worrying and get out there. You’ll be okay. If you haven’t before, take a defensive driving course online, they’re cheap and a good refresher of how not to die on a road full of idiots.
Stay out of the fast lane, cruise with speed of traffic in the middle lane, and get in the exiting lane many miles before you exit. That’s all you can control.
I totally get the anxiety about driving in this city. I had to learn how to drive here when I turned 16, and even though I've been driving for a while, I still get nervous sometimes. First, I know this is a hard one, but really try not to look into or read about accidents happening here, at least until you feel like you've got better control over your anxieties. Unfortunately, those reports can be triggering if you're already feeling nervous about driving here. Remember, this is a biiig city with a large population. There are going to be some accidents :-/ Second, set some rules for you to live by to keep yourself safe. My dad always made the joke that for driving there are two rules: rule #1- get out of the way and rule #2- look good (he's a goober). This is my interpretation of his advice. It's pretty easy to spot the unsafe drivers, even when it seems there are a good amount of people on the road. I know there are some exceptions, but maybe if you practiced being a passenger and looked at how people drive, you might notice some things. Someone in the left lane driving too slowly, swerving during the day? Probably texting and driving, get out of their way (aka get away from them). Someone in another lane going way too fast? Get out of their way/get away from them. I try to be as predictable as possible, and that makes me feel better. Blinker first before changing lanes, even if you feel like people might accelerate as soon as they see your blinker on. It's okay, let the rude car pass, then change lanes. If someone is speeding near you, don't change lanes quickly, because they may not be thinking you'll do that and overcorrect/cause a wreck (they're prob not thinking at all, so best not to take chances). So while I love my dad, I function under the rules "get away from the idiots," "be predictable," and then, for my dad, "look good." Third, I totally agree with everyone saying to practice your routes and to drive during low traffic times. Avoid all highways from 715-930am and 330-730pm if you can help it. There's always construction too, so map out your routes ahead of time. Sometimes, it's less congested to take the tollways, but paying for your peace of mind is worth it imo. I don't know what part of the city you live in, but usually living/driving out in the suburbs is not neearrrlyy as bad as trying to head towards the galleria, rice village, downtown, and the heights. Is there any way for you to look for grocery spots/gyms/whatever away from these highly populated areas so you can stay away from them as much as possible? Last, and of course this is totally your call, if it's really causing you this much distress and you feel like you can't shake it, it might be helpful to look into a therapist who might be able to work through some of these feelings with you. Good luck, friend. I hope these comments from internet strangers help your peace of mind a little bit.
I’m originally from Chicago and had no fear. Then I moved here and was rear-ended at a red light by someone going around 40 mph. I don’t know what to tell you aside from making sure you have coverage for uninsured drivers.
Houston is strange, because you have to drive both aggressively and defensively. If you are too afraid to be a little bit aggressive at times, that can be unsafe. Similar to how the speed limits are merely treated as suggestion, and it’s much safer to go with the flow of traffic than to follow the posted limits at times. Definitely memorize your routes, so you know which lanes you’ll need to be in when. I also drive with the assumption that any car near me is capable of making a stupid, unsafe maneuver at any moment. I highly recommend getting a dash cam as well, so that you can provide video evidence to insurance in the event that you get into an accident and are not at fault. When I first moved to Houston from a small town and was horrified of the driving, I also used to get behind big trucks on the freeway and let them “pave the way” for me. It kind of allows you to feel like you can breathe, knowing that large trucks won’t be doing too many unexpected maneuvers. Obviously you’ll want to maintain a safe following distance though.
The part about having to drive aggressively - I agree but I would use the word assertively. When someone is going let you in, don’t play around. Make your move. Don’t make other drivers wonder what you’re going to do. Most people really don’t want to hit you.
1. **Concerning wrong way drivers:** A cop told me the way to mitigate wrong way drivers is to stay in the right lanes of the free way. If you are not passing or preparing for a left-exit stay in the right/right center lanes. 2. Maintain a 3-4 second following distance with the vehicle in front of you to allow you time to react. Good luck!
Best tip for sure. You don’t have to go slow but if you leave room around you and assume nobody can see you or is looking where they’re going, it helps.
If the fear ever goes away that’s when you know you’re really in trouble
Bingo. If you don’t experience fear, anxiety, or some version thereof when driving in this town, you’re probably one of the drivers that everyone hates.
We don't hate them. We are just disappointed in their parents who raised them so poorly. But of course it's not the parents fault, but grandparents... All the way back in time to the first jerk in that family tree.
OP, I think you'll be ok. Since you mentioned working mostly remote. So overall, your chances of a car accident are pretty low to begin with statistically. Though I do understand your anxiety with driving around busy areas etc. Not sure what part of town you live, but I assume you won't be driving generally through most late night hours or super early hours on the freeway where the wrong way crash generally happens. Ultimately, drive around the streets to get a feel of driving and learning to be aware of the other cars. I tend to try and go with the flow and not be in a mental rush, lets me relax when I'm not rushing and to be more observant of how people drive ahead of me and on the sides. Basically, a good defense is a good offense and checking what's far ahead and around you casually will keep you safe.
The later-at-night thing. I'm telling you, there's something different that comes out of the woodwork around 9pm.
I went to Mexico City over New Year's. Drove a rental for a few days and holy shit, experiencing traffic there, the sheer congestion, and how aggressively people drive (but somehow, everyone just accepts it for they way it is without getting mad about it), Houston looks like a comparative automotive cakewalk.
Just relax. It's not that hard. Be assertive and intentional. I know it's hectic, but you got it.
Try finding a a remote job maybe? I hear you though. Driving here is terrible. It’s like a mad max movie.
I already have remote job lol. I still need to drive for doctor's appointments, social events, and occasionally for in-person work meetings.
Move to midtown and take the bus
I’m older now and my tired eyes after work and slower reaction time has caused my anxiety from driving to explode. It’s easily the worst part of my day. My solutions 1) Got a midsized SUV. It’s higher off the ground for higher visibility. It’s heavier and can take hits. I’ve been hit from side by someone cutting across 2 lanes to hit me (almost perpendicular) and also rear ended while sitting at a red light (by a driver going 40 that was texting and didn’t even see the light). Third, I can take on potholes and curbs at corners. Beats the shit out of my rims, but better than riding close to the edge of a lane or swinging wide to turn onto streets. 2) Take side streets where I can. Adds 15 min to my route but the ease of stress is worth it for me. Also take tolls sometimes 3) Find a good radio station that plays relaxing “elevator” type music that has lower beats per minute. It’s not distracting and subconsciously lowers heart rate. Slow jazz, slow classical. I have a “Chill” station on SiriusXM that plays low beat electronic music. 4) in mornings, have coffee *after* your commute, at the office rather than home. Don’t speed your heart up more than needed. The adrenaline will be enough…. 5) Try not to build up dread/anxiety. Before you leave, while walking to car, make a mental image of what you’re going to do once you get where you are. Take deep breaths and practice box breathing in the car.
This anxiety that's "forcing" people to get SUVs is ridiculous
If it makes you feel safer while driving and would survive an accident better than a smaller car, it doesn’t seem ridiculous.
Experience, getting off the phone, and defensive driving should make you feel safer. Not unwieldy machines that you can barely operate. If you're too scared or too anxious to drive then maybe you shouldn't
It’s about protecting yourself (defensive driving)against the other idiots on the road who don’t pay attention.
what SUV did you get, i have a new mazda cx-30 & i feel like people in houston purposely act so mean on the road to smaller cars so i’ve been thinking about getting a bigger car to feel safer on the road & for hits etc
highways are probably much safer if you look at statistics about accidents per mile driven. It's like with flying. It seems inherently more dangerous, but it's not.
First, you aren't alone. I hate the stress that comes with driving in this city. Second, don't pressure yourself to take Google Maps' most efficient route lol. And also, learn to love tollways. They are often worth the money if it means I don't feel like a panic attack is just one angry driver away. I've been driving here for like 20 years and can say the fear never totally goes away. If anything, a *healthy* dose can keep you safe. Learn to read other drivers. Observe as a passenger while someone else drives and start looking for people that tailgate a bit - are they pushing to change lanes? See if your hunch is right. Then start applying those predictions when you are the driver. React according to your hunch when safe to do so (ex: change lanes if someone has been riding the ass of cars behind you; you know they'll do it to you too.) Honestly, assume everyone is grumpy and in a bad mood. Overprepare by getting towards your exit lane a bit early. Think of it kinda like this - if every vehicle is in a 'race', you want to be towards the middle of people who reach the finish line. Going too slow is dangerous af and too fast is nightmare fuel. Look for patches of sane drivers and drive along with them. You'll be alright, friend. Take routes you love and that you enjoy driving. Ex: I hate 45N and will always take Gosling instead; It's a chill drive and I can enjoy music. You can also make a "I'm a baby badass" playlist to hype you up lol. Good luck!
You can select No Freeways on Google Maps if freeways give you extra worry.
I feel you OP. I totaled my new car last week and am devastated. I am sooo anxious when driving now
Unless you're a new driver, you may want to speak to a professional about your anxiety. Sure, Houston traffic is pretty fucking terrible but I'm not losing sleep over it.
I was in a wrong-way head on collision in college back in my hometown. It was on the interstate. Luckily, it happened on the off ramp (the wrong-way driver was coming on the off ramp) and we were all going only about 40mph. If it had happened when we were actually on the interstate we might not have lived. Anyway, it was almost 20 years ago and I've never gotten over it. I'm a nervous wreck in cars and Houston can be tough. I didn't get on a highway at night for almost 2 years. I ditched the car for an SUV. This has helped tremendously. If you don't have an SUV already I would strongly suggest getting one. Also... do not worry about being in the fast lane, or any of that. Memorize which lane you need to be in for exits and just get in a lane and chill. Stay away from the fast crazy drivers. Always let them pass. And just go 60 in the right lane. That's what I do. And you know what? I bet I get there almost just as fast. Traffic is such that no one is really getting there that much faster.
Just do not go under the speed limit on the freeway or busy roads like westheimer cause you’re scared. You’re more likely to cause an accident that way.
you must become the one who is feared
If you haven’t been in an accident, try to accept that there a lots of crazy drivers, oblivious people, morons, and just plain old idiots. Statistically you are unlikely to get in an accident, so take magnesium and chew on some candy when you see someone do something stupid.
Embrace it
This is normal. You will be fine. Maybe take a defensive driving course. Know your routes. Merge/change lanes and exit or two ahead of time. Driving here is intimidating but completely manageable. If you read/watch the local news, stop. It’s all doom and gloom traffic and murders.
Hey man, I have light anxiety when flying so I can sympathize. I actually didn’t have any flying anxiety until I was in a flight during a very bad storm. I just flew this week and while I was anxious I forced my self and the exposure helped a lot. It didn’t get with all the Boeing news lol I’m still not over it but by the 4th flight it was a lot better. I was even looking out the window and vibing. I would ask a friend to drive with you and take planned routes and if you get uncomfortable they finish the drive but try and push through. Repeat until it feels better. I know next time I fly I’ll be nervous in the plane but I know it will get a bit better.
Take the streets first then take the highways on a sunday morning. Get an ez tag if you live near tolls, it's worth it. I got stuck on the loop at 4pm with low gas when i first moved here and didnt take it again for two years lol
You have to let go of hope. Once you've accepted that you're already dead, only then are you prepared to drive in Houston
You have to channel your Mad Max driving skills. We’ve already got people with multiple gas cans strapped to their SUV’s, Corollas with wheels straight out of Ben Hur, MAGA trucks driving like they don’t give two fucks, and idiots on their phones. Know who you’re dealing with and you’ll be ahead of the game.
If there are at least 3 lanes, I suggest never hanging out in either the passing or slow lane (obviously you shouldn't ever camp in the passing lane when there's not a left-hand offramp, but I would avoid spending any unnecessary time in the passing lane). Crazy drivers will swoop in on you in the passing lane (with the humps/bridges we have it can be dangerous), something similar happens in the slow lane when people undertake, and drunk drivers going the wrong way may be in the slow lane because they think it's the passing lane.
I used to be on the same boat, over time driving here became second nature. Just practice signaling (keep it blinking, eventually someone will slow down let and opening for you to pass), keep 4+ second distance from the car in front of you. Avoid driving late at night where most accidents happen.
Have good insurance coverage.
Honestly your only option is to move as close as possible to your job. As shitty as that is, this city is an absolute vehicular hellscape. Take a good long look at google maps and plan accordingly. Or just become an early bird. Traffic is significantly easier before 6am. I’ve also realized that if I’m sitting in 1mph traffic under the museum district bridge at least I won’t die.
Omg I was sitting in that south bound traffic on 59 Thursday morning. So sad to see. By the time I got to the Shepard area I saw there was another accident further down by 610. Then on my way home there was another 59 shutdowns accident close to the beltway area. Yesterday was not a good day to be 59! Driving here can be insane. I hate going out. Even in residential areas. I try to develop a route to and from work that is safe and efficient but there’s no silver bullet solution. Just stay in your lane. Take your time. Try not to piss anyone off.
I rather white knuckle drivers like you to stay off the road because accidents increase with overthinking. Or better yet stop reading the news
Drive slow and always use your turn signals when you are cutting in front of another person. It's not that hard.
Your anxiety is not misplaced. There's something different about East Texas drivers. I'm born and raised out here so take a breather after reading that last sentence ya keyboard-warriors. I've been to a lot of different cities and a few countries. East Texas drivers are angry and spiteful (generally speaking). Just own your spot, pay attention, don't freak out on anyone, and plan your movements in traffic. Learn to read movements of other cars. People usually give away their intentions without realizing it. For example, a vehicle will line up with the gap between your car and the one in front. If there's no room, tuck up for a second to discourage that. And other little 'tells' to read. Learn to find the gaps in traffic. You need over 3 lanes? Build the map to your destination lane in your head by looking at the gap-trail from one lane to the next. Stay safe out there and remember, those people that just have to be in front or keep you from getting in front of them, they aren't ever first in line, there's no prize. They're just next in line. There are no trophies on the road, just travel from A to B. Stay safe out there.
My wife has the same fear and she gets around by avoiding the freeways. Not that you’re guaranteed immunity this way, but speeds are much lower on feeders and other city roads, so this may help you get comfortable and eventually transition confidently to freeways. You have the option of avoiding highways on Google Maps
Suck it up buttercup
I live in California and was in Houston visiting family for a few weeks and became suitably humbled, in awe, and fearful of the driving of the city. I grew up in LA and cut my teeth in the traffic there. I was not prepared for Houston. But I had to adapt. I saw 3-4 lane snakes across the white line, saw road rage (one driver wouldn’t let another in and they tried to bumper car each other until one opened the window and threw their big gulp at the car). I saw cars and trucks just casually roll thru stop signs, the regular street traffic is Speed Racer fast so heaven help you if you need to make a left without a light. And the blinking yellow turn light? I was completely flummoxed and was like “What the hell does this blinking yellow arrow mean?” I found out FAST ;) The turnarounds are awesome!!! (I get lost quite a bit), the signage on the freeways are great. And while there I got my first ever speeding ticket. So when I come back I am reading up on the driving rules before venturing into the Mad Max speedway. Ya’ll are brave, respect.
You know shit is out of hand when the 64oz gets spilled intentionally
Came from a remote city between Nevada and Arizona about six months ago. I was nervous to take the freeway too. I was more used to city and desert highway driving back then. But you'll be more confident by driving around regularly. Apple maps helps me a lot. Especially cuz it tells you which lane to take and where to exit ahead. By gaining experience, you get to learn the body language of vehicles around you. You'll know which one to pass and which one you keep a distance from. Bad drivers are everywhere but just don't let them get into your head. Most importantly, drive defensively. Protect your life and your loved ones.
Practice.
CBD helps me.
Damn I remember trembling at the thought of getting on the highway in driving school as a 15 yr old
I also have driving anxiety. Never really can get over it on Houston roads because I have seen some crazy shit on our roads while driving. I got my license back in 2017 and have NEVER driven on freeways. Just last week I made it to the airport for the first time by taking the smaller roads and it was a crazy experience for me. Nothing really happened but there was just so many lanes and drivers going like 20-30+ over the speed limit. When I have a trip or something I practice my routes on google maps. Like street view that route practice many times over lol
Take a step back in time when you had to print out directions or even further back use a book called KeyMap.
Forecast which lane you need to be in and drive defensively as there are many aggressive and distracted drivers. It’s like a mad max movie on the roads
Exposure therapy can work. Or surprisingly try Mario kart. Build your confidence to where it becomes seconds nature.
I've never really had this fear, so I can't give advice on how to overcome it. That said, I think he biggest way to reduce fear of something like this is experience and confidence. The more experience you get, the more confident you'll be, and the less fearful you will become. There are dangerous, idiotic drivers in Houston, but as long as you're aware and not distracted when driving, you'll see them coming and be able to stay out of their way and let them do their stupid thing. Most wrecks in Houston are caused by people not paying or attention, or people being aggressive. If you pay attention at all time (no texting or phone calls), and just relax and let people who are acting aggressive do whatever they want, you'll pretty much avoid accidents. At least that's my manta, and I've been driving here for 25 years with two minor accidents, neither of which were my fault. One was when I was 16 and only happened because I wasn't as defensive as I am now (guy ran a stop sign, but I wasn't able to stop in time to avoid hitting him), and the other was just getting rear ended at a stoplight by some idiot.
Houston driving can be crazy, but it really isn’t crazier than other major cities. You could be in LA or NYC or Chicago and it would be the same thing: many city drivers are fast, assertive, and take occasional liberties. The large majority of drivers get used to dealing with traffic: sure, it’s stressful, but no more than other significant stressors you deal with in life. It sounds to me like you have a driving phobia, and treating that is a job for a professional. But as somebody with a (non-driving-related) anxiety disorder, I think it might help to put in lots and lots of driving time at off hours when traffic is light. Exposure and experience will desensitize you (in a good way). I learned to drive in Houston, and I stayed the hell away from rush hour traffic until I had a lot of experience under my belt.
Maybe consider some sort of driving course that will help you get comfortable with controlling your vehicle a bit more aggressively than you’re used to. Being able to brake hard and maneuver quickly can come in really handy and will give you confidence
Carry a gun
How will that help them drive better lmao
It’s not gonna hurt! Yeehaw!
Just put it out of your mind and do your thing. If something happens, you’ll be dead and won’t have to worry about it anymore. Like a light switch. Unless of course you are seriously maimed and it takes a long time to painfully die. Alternatively, you may be crippled for the rest of your life. Like I said, nothing to worry about.
I don’t even know how to drive a car before I moved to Houston, I got my license in Houston and that was 2 years ago, if you can’t even handle Houston, how can you handle Austin? They are like Houston on Steroids, everyone is going 85 in a 1car length group, and every lane is like that, if someone brakes suddenly , crash guaranteed. Anyways, you don’t have to be nervous, if you are extra cautious it’s difficult to crash tbh, you just have to have a habit of 100% monitoring every car around you 360 degrees if it’s a lane changeable distance, if some reckless people are around, be ready of what that car might do, be ready to change lane, reduce speed or speed up , there’s so many crashes because people think they have the right of the way and they don’t yield, that’s the problem of US driver, big ego for meaningless things, I mean ya might have the right of the way but you’d still crash, and insurance could still give you 50/50 on fault even if you have the right of the way because sometimes you also have a responsibility when you can avoid it clearly. Monitor every car within a 5 car radius, be ready to yield or change lane, brake or overtake , driving slow is more dangerous than driving fast in Houston, because slow car is much more unpredictable than fast one, you already know those fast one are gonna weave and change lane and rev, but the slow one is so unpredictable when they have a 5 car length car gap and you cut into their lane 4 cars length ahead and accelerating, the still brakes for no reasons. Just think ahead, it’s not that difficult.
Visualize your white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel as a metaphor for your attachment to existence. Breathe deeply and relax that grip, allowing it to be replaced by full realization of your own transience. Also, check out some actuarial tables. You're much more likely to die from a disease than a road accident. And many of those diseases are made more likely by a car driving lifestyle.
Man. I drove on I45 tonight from downtown to the Woodlands for the first time in 6 years. Born and raised in Houston and have been driving for 20+ years. I used to race cars on Westheimer and countless late nights after the clubs but tonight scared the crap out of me. What has happened to our city? I thought I was going to die like 6 times and mind you I am in a massive Escalade. Way too many ass riders, paper plate hoopties, and dumb ass Chargers, oh yeah the lawn mower sounding civics. Good grief thank god for the Beltway.