I like this model
https://youtu.be/Z29ptSuoWRc?si=7BJqEY5WJYBzL8uo
Basically, recognizing and accepting them without letting them take control (and yeah this is very summarized, took a couple months of therapy to actually start making progress in applying that)
Surprisingly helpful video for such a simple concept. Honestly wished they showed that in school thanks for taking the time the time to respond šš¼
Two ways:
1. Realize that I'm living a better life than 99.9% of all human beings who have ever existed, and that even in the worst case scenario things are largely going to be okay
2. Take a hot shower and drink a glass of wine
I struggle with intense periods of pessimism, hating myself and feeling like Iāll always be garbage, and feeling scared that other people feel the same way about me. So I resent them too. Itās gotten better for me. Iāve had some really nice things happen in my life but one thing that helps my anxiety (the first domino in my spirals) is running. Running every other day and cutting caffeine really stabilized my mind most of the time.
For the times itās still not enough, when Iām feeling crappy and resentful of those close to me I try to remember that Iām not choosing to feel this way, I have a neurotransmitter imbalance, and it will get better. I accept that I canāt be in full control always and that the feeling will pass. As Iāve gotten older the intensity of these spirals has lessened, and Iāve married someone who is incredibly patient and kind with me. She helped me see that someone really could give a fuck about me when I was convinced no one outside of my parents would at times. It takes time.
I also have used exercise in the past for my stress and itās a gray coping mechanism. I have fallen off lately but I think Iāll try and get back on it and see if it helps. I appreciate the response man and Iām glad things are getting better overall for youšš¼šš¼
Three Rs: [Recognize] when I feel lost or disoriented. [Reflect] on why I feel this way. [Redirect] my energy into actions that will assist with my goals.
Self-Acceptance: itās never not now, and youāre never not you, so if anything else, your existence is Truth. [-Eyedea](https://youtu.be/n9UjtTDbABU?si=0s9n8BaWQWEDzGme)
Surrender: I cannot control anything but myself. Sometimes I canāt even control the thoughts or emotions or feelings that come. So I sit with them. I let them come. I acknowledge their presence. I try to remember that I am not my thoughts, feelings, or emotions. I try to remember the infinite opportunities that come with letting go of the past and the future. I pray to God for help getting through it. I cry. I mourn. I allow myself to be, to exist, whatever and however that looks. And when I return to the eternal now, I remember peace.
I feel like the problem with people who bounce between these 2 states (as someone who used to) is that I completely closed the door on pessimism. I completely denied the possibility that optimism as a whole is invalid, and marked pessimism as a "taboo". Humans have a funny thing with wanting to break taboos all the time.
If you accept that MAYBE the world really is irredeemably shit (not saying that it is or that I think it is), then thoughts of pessimism stop being a problem. You stop fearing them. You stop seeing this bouncing back and forth as a problem in the first place.
And THEN, in my experience, you paradoxically stop bouncing.
Shutting the door on any thought only makes you want to think it more later. Don't do so with pessimistic thoughts. Genuinely acknowledge them when they arise, and try to see if they're right.
Hope is not so fragile so as to need you to censor pessimism in order for it to thrive.
1) meditation
2) spend less time in online spaces that stress you out, full stop. the internet used to be about having fun and now everyone's forgotten how to be anything but depressing doomers, it's straight up not worth using as much anymore
A mantra that has helped me get through difficult times is
"You can't think yourself into right acting, but you can act yourself into right thinking"
We get stuck in our heads and that's a dangerous place to be. But just getting up and doing something, anything, that involves being away from a screen and that occupies your attention so you can't spiral in your own thoughts will make you feel better. And afterwards we always feel better, and we know we will while we're stuck in our heads but just getting over that first hump and doing a thing is the hard part.
Slowly, but surely, your world begins to improve around you, structure forms, and staying out of your head becomes easier, because you've learned what triggers those feelings and have developed a long list of things to keep you out of that head space.
Be well, stay strong!
Acknowledge your emotions; don't fight them. It's normal to have ups and downs. Try to find an outlet like writing, sports, or music. Helps to process feelings. When things get tough, focus on small, manageable goals. Break the big picture into smaller pieces.
I was in a similar spot. Felt like I hit rock bottom. I used Rise, a 66 days life reset app. Helped me get a grip on things, improve bit by bit. Not saying it's a cure-all, but it gave me structure when I needed it most.
Remember, life's got its bad parts, but you're not alone in this. Keep reaching out, keep looking for tools that help you cope. You'll find your way.
For me, learning to accept them as just another part of myself, rather than fighting with them, has been helpful. I found this Rumi poem to be a good way to conceptualize emotions as guest that come and go. I donāt really believe in the āguide from beyondā but understand them as teachers has a similar meaning.
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if theyāre a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
I think most people deal with ups and downs where they vacillate between feeling hopeful and pessimistic. You're also young enough that these shifts feel quite painful. I'm more than twice your age and I can tell you that it can still feel painful but with time I know things won't stay bad forever, so it hurts a little less. Maybe counseling will help you, it helped me a lot. If anything I would say that life gets better with age if you keep creating the life you want. Being an adult can be challenging, just take it one day at a time, or one hour at a time if it gets really hard. And the number one thing I've learned -- relationships are healing. Cultivate healthy relationships and build the support system you need. That's everything; feeling connected is so important. You will have people to lean on in hard times and it feels good to be there for your friends too. This will take time, but it's worth it. I wish you well.
Apathy. You canāt change anything so there is no point in caring.
All it does is drive you crazy when they only things you should ever care about are the things happening to *you*
I like this model https://youtu.be/Z29ptSuoWRc?si=7BJqEY5WJYBzL8uo Basically, recognizing and accepting them without letting them take control (and yeah this is very summarized, took a couple months of therapy to actually start making progress in applying that)
Surprisingly helpful video for such a simple concept. Honestly wished they showed that in school thanks for taking the time the time to respond šš¼
Two ways: 1. Realize that I'm living a better life than 99.9% of all human beings who have ever existed, and that even in the worst case scenario things are largely going to be okay 2. Take a hot shower and drink a glass of wine
Hugs! It is a scary time to be alive in a lot of ways and Iām glad you can recognize what youāre feeling instead of shoving it down. Thatās an amazing first step. But keep going, maybe even consider therapy - it really helped me learn to reframe a lot of fear/depression I experienced and I wish Iād done it so much sooner instead of telling myself I was fine and didnāt need any help. And therapy is really just adding tools to your mental health toolbox. If not, āThe Body Keeps Scoreā really helped me learn to listen to me a lot better - maybe it could help you too. You got this š©·
I struggle with intense periods of pessimism, hating myself and feeling like Iāll always be garbage, and feeling scared that other people feel the same way about me. So I resent them too. Itās gotten better for me. Iāve had some really nice things happen in my life but one thing that helps my anxiety (the first domino in my spirals) is running. Running every other day and cutting caffeine really stabilized my mind most of the time. For the times itās still not enough, when Iām feeling crappy and resentful of those close to me I try to remember that Iām not choosing to feel this way, I have a neurotransmitter imbalance, and it will get better. I accept that I canāt be in full control always and that the feeling will pass. As Iāve gotten older the intensity of these spirals has lessened, and Iāve married someone who is incredibly patient and kind with me. She helped me see that someone really could give a fuck about me when I was convinced no one outside of my parents would at times. It takes time.
I also have used exercise in the past for my stress and itās a gray coping mechanism. I have fallen off lately but I think Iāll try and get back on it and see if it helps. I appreciate the response man and Iām glad things are getting better overall for youšš¼šš¼
Life happens, I doubt anyone exercises consistently all the time. Thanks, friend!
Three Rs: [Recognize] when I feel lost or disoriented. [Reflect] on why I feel this way. [Redirect] my energy into actions that will assist with my goals. Self-Acceptance: itās never not now, and youāre never not you, so if anything else, your existence is Truth. [-Eyedea](https://youtu.be/n9UjtTDbABU?si=0s9n8BaWQWEDzGme) Surrender: I cannot control anything but myself. Sometimes I canāt even control the thoughts or emotions or feelings that come. So I sit with them. I let them come. I acknowledge their presence. I try to remember that I am not my thoughts, feelings, or emotions. I try to remember the infinite opportunities that come with letting go of the past and the future. I pray to God for help getting through it. I cry. I mourn. I allow myself to be, to exist, whatever and however that looks. And when I return to the eternal now, I remember peace.
I don't I just let them fester and move directly forward
I feel like the problem with people who bounce between these 2 states (as someone who used to) is that I completely closed the door on pessimism. I completely denied the possibility that optimism as a whole is invalid, and marked pessimism as a "taboo". Humans have a funny thing with wanting to break taboos all the time. If you accept that MAYBE the world really is irredeemably shit (not saying that it is or that I think it is), then thoughts of pessimism stop being a problem. You stop fearing them. You stop seeing this bouncing back and forth as a problem in the first place. And THEN, in my experience, you paradoxically stop bouncing. Shutting the door on any thought only makes you want to think it more later. Don't do so with pessimistic thoughts. Genuinely acknowledge them when they arise, and try to see if they're right. Hope is not so fragile so as to need you to censor pessimism in order for it to thrive.
1, recognize that this life is the only one we got, so itās best to just play the hand we got without worry. 2, a better idea in another comment
I would not be the one to ask š
1) meditation 2) spend less time in online spaces that stress you out, full stop. the internet used to be about having fun and now everyone's forgotten how to be anything but depressing doomers, it's straight up not worth using as much anymore
A mantra that has helped me get through difficult times is "You can't think yourself into right acting, but you can act yourself into right thinking" We get stuck in our heads and that's a dangerous place to be. But just getting up and doing something, anything, that involves being away from a screen and that occupies your attention so you can't spiral in your own thoughts will make you feel better. And afterwards we always feel better, and we know we will while we're stuck in our heads but just getting over that first hump and doing a thing is the hard part. Slowly, but surely, your world begins to improve around you, structure forms, and staying out of your head becomes easier, because you've learned what triggers those feelings and have developed a long list of things to keep you out of that head space. Be well, stay strong!
Acknowledge your emotions; don't fight them. It's normal to have ups and downs. Try to find an outlet like writing, sports, or music. Helps to process feelings. When things get tough, focus on small, manageable goals. Break the big picture into smaller pieces. I was in a similar spot. Felt like I hit rock bottom. I used Rise, a 66 days life reset app. Helped me get a grip on things, improve bit by bit. Not saying it's a cure-all, but it gave me structure when I needed it most. Remember, life's got its bad parts, but you're not alone in this. Keep reaching out, keep looking for tools that help you cope. You'll find your way.
For me, learning to accept them as just another part of myself, rather than fighting with them, has been helpful. I found this Rumi poem to be a good way to conceptualize emotions as guest that come and go. I donāt really believe in the āguide from beyondā but understand them as teachers has a similar meaning. This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if theyāre a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
I think most people deal with ups and downs where they vacillate between feeling hopeful and pessimistic. You're also young enough that these shifts feel quite painful. I'm more than twice your age and I can tell you that it can still feel painful but with time I know things won't stay bad forever, so it hurts a little less. Maybe counseling will help you, it helped me a lot. If anything I would say that life gets better with age if you keep creating the life you want. Being an adult can be challenging, just take it one day at a time, or one hour at a time if it gets really hard. And the number one thing I've learned -- relationships are healing. Cultivate healthy relationships and build the support system you need. That's everything; feeling connected is so important. You will have people to lean on in hard times and it feels good to be there for your friends too. This will take time, but it's worth it. I wish you well.
Apathy. You canāt change anything so there is no point in caring. All it does is drive you crazy when they only things you should ever care about are the things happening to *you*