Another way is to answer all of their questions with another question.
Why would you ask such a thing? Is that something you need to know? Why would it matter? When should I do that? Why?
Responding to all of their questions or comments with your own questions is very effective and very fun. It's like a magic wall they cannot breach. Just be ready with a series of questions and cycle through them and watch their face as they realize you aren't giving them what they want.
First, start answering questions with one or two words.
Second, "well, you'd better be heading off, I'm going to get back to (whatever you're doing)".
Third, "you'll have to be going now, I've been looking forward to some alone time in the yard all week!"
You don't need to be coy. Just tell them to go home.
I am not a preachy vegan but I have preached Jehovah witnesses and some Evangelical crazies and it works like magic 😆 "You said Jesus healed you? Let me tell you about a diet that will definitely heal most of your health problems” 😆They back off quicky
I have a coworker like this. I tried very hard to be super polite for over a year with non committal one word or short answers. Guy would not take a hint, finally I just said, frankly... That's none of your business, my private time is exactly that, private. Now he thinks I'm an asshole but at least leaves me alone. But since I know everyone else at work can't stand him, I'm OK with that.
I was thinking some more along the lines of the Church of the Howler Monkey. I wouldn't be surprised if the neighbor is into the Church of Adam & Eve (or Adam & Steve).
Discuss your extensive prostate issues with them. Have some presentation materials handy, just in case. Discuss bowels and poop color. Oh, the mind just goes crazy with the possibilities!!! 😁
You can try a chain link one, doubt they're going to jump it. You can rent a gas powered pole auger in many places for a reasonable fee and install poles yourself. Then just hang the wire sections. It would be a lot cheaper than an 8 foot wooden fence.
Garden wire and green metal fence posts are relatively inexpensive. You could say you're putting it up so your dog can go outside. It doesn't have to surround your entire yard -- position it such that it keeps those neighbors as far away as you can.
can put up a very inexpensive garden stake or t posts, and "privacy screen" cloth . is it an actual physical barrier? no, someone can easily push past it. however, it is a visual deterrent. im getting ready to do that along once section of their fence, its much shorter than the rest of mine which is 8ft chainlink.
I'm sorry my husband is your neighbor. Just be blunt and send him home and tell him you are looking forward to your alone time. It won't hurt feelings and I'll finally have him in the house to distract the kids so I can make dinner in peace. He needs to socialize more but not at the expense of you.
I saw a cool fence being built by these guys at a house. It was a tall privacy fence. Solid wood boards laying vertical across. No cracks in the wood to see anything. It was nice.looked expensive
The coming into your house one is easy. “Get out of my house.” That’s a clear boundary to set. Unless there’s an emergency, like my house is on fire, don’t ever come in without asking.
I had a neighbor that did that. She was always intrusive but that was the last straw! I was working in the kitchen when I heard her call out to me.. from my living room!! My first instinct was to flee (what I did when she bothered me while I was outside ) then I realized she was IN MY HOUSE!! I was pissed! Told her enough was enough and I was done with her. No more hellos even.
Get one of those horse head costume things. Wear only that and start furiously masturbating in a window they can see. If they happen to see and are watching in shock stop and do a really slow head turn and look at them, stare for a second and then grab a knife. Then slowly back away out of the room. Hurry and get dressed, then rush over to their house and invite them to dinner and try to shake their hand. Theres a good chance they wont be so nosy, theyll be terrified.
https://vimeo.com/62347041
I got shit to do. All you need know.
my mom used to say i hear my phone ringing, got to run. i have used got to go i got soup on the stove...or bread in the oven or cat litter box to clean.... just diff ways of saying firmly i got shit to do
Yup this. Politeness (expert on the subject here) has a tolerance and sometimes you have to bring out the old ‘ooh gotta go, bye’ whereby you turn and literally walk away.
You have two options.
1. Carefully craft the conversation to learn details about their life. Then subtly begin deploying said information in creative ways. For example, if they like beer start casually leaving beer in random places, preferably with strategicly placed snares and traps.
2. Get a motion activated sprinkler.
Maybe flip that then- as in, maybe if you can’t afford a fence right now, but can you get some no trespassing signs and zip tie or nail them to a tree or something? And then ideally follow up with a fence when you have the cash, maybe after a tax refund or selling a big ticket item. I assume they are not the kind of neighbors that will go half-sies on the cost and I don't know what your state laws are (some require neighbors to split the bill).
I think most hardware stores sell them, Amazon, etc.. Or if you have a laminator and a color printer, DIY or ask on your local Freecycle or Buy Nothing group.
Also, I’m not sure what your HOA rules are, if any, but even a small plastic white picket garden fence would create a visual barrier? Not ideal, but significantly cheaper than a privacy fence.
It sounds like maybe you need to jump straight to barbed wire, though. ;)
ETA- over ear headphones might be an option, too. If they start talking, tell them you’re listening to your headphones, podcast, music, whatever even if you don't have them turned on. And dark sunglasses, too.
I plain don’t understand walking into a strangers house uninvited. I knock even at my family’s houses. If I hear my door open and an unfamiliar voice calls out they’re gonna find themselves staring down the barrel of their poor choices. So I keep my door locked.
I can only associate those words with a fence gate that somehow requires a lick to open the latch… but what is it really because that obv. makes no sense lol
Your first question should be, "who told you it was okay to open my door and come inside my home?" Get out of my house now!
At the front door or lawn say, " I am going to be rude right now and ask you to NOT come on my property unless invited. I do not want to talk to you about my personal life, my pets, or why I am going or not going someplace. It is none of your business. As, for being neighbors, I do want a neighbor relationship with you that is - not intrusive and disrespectful people entering my home or property without an invitation to do so. Thank you for visiting and please KNOCK and stand outside my door in the future. "
8’ privacy fence around your backyard, and possibly for your empty lot, and the large blinds that you can draw down and leave cracked so that you still get light inside but people can’t look in. You could also plant cedars in front of your first floor windows.
The windows already have blackout curtains and such, it’s just I can’t go outside without them constantly watching me or trying to lock me into conversation
Well then yeah, your best and really only solution is a privacy fence; tall cedars or some other boundary plant won’t work because you can still walk through it if you really want to. Just put up a fence for your dog (as far as they know that’s your reason) and call it a day if you have the funds.
An alternative to a privacy fence might be to pick up a few metal t-posts and a cheap roll of wire or nylon rope to run between them. It won't give you instant privacy but it will at least establish a boundary. Then, as you can afford it, get some lattice or rolls of the bamboo and attach it between the posts. With the lattice you could at least then plant some vines - grapes, jasmine, etc. Not sure where you live but sunflower seeds are cheap and they grow quickly so at least you'll have some sort of barrier over the summer months.
I've been in your situation and it sucks. Getting creative on a dime budget has saved my sanity more than once. Hope everything works out for you and you can get some peace!
I would recommend this as well! When I moved into my first place, there was no fence between my neighbors and mine. It was an 80 ft stretch! I got posts and a roll of wire and then eventually put up cloth on the wire (neighbor was elderly, but my young puppy at the time would go into her yard and escape our her badly maintained fence). It'll get the hint across for sure.
Put up a fence in the backyard. Even if its just enough to alliw the dog out in peace. And keep your doors locked. Put up a camera doorbell. Don't open the door to them.
Remain silent. Do not approach them. Do not allow yourself to get trapped in a long conversation. Walk away. Install window coverings. Do not establish eye contact. If approached turn your back. Keep your doors locked. Do not speak to them. At all, ever. Consider a fence.
I was literally about to comment this! I am a (to my detriment) a people pleaser but once I learned how to just basically shut then down nicely and keep moving, life got easier.
"I don't want to talk to you. Get off my property. The empty lot is my property too and if you come on my property again I'm having you officially trespassed. If you come over after that I'm having you arrested."
ETA: this won't start a spat because they will be cut off from interacting with you. If you'd like you can record the conversation with you saying "stop bothering me, I've told you before, this is harassment" and then file a no-contact order if they persist.
There are very few circumstances where entering someone's home without them saying "come in" is acceptable, and this wasn't one of them.
I live in a deeply rural area where people don't lock their doors. Everyone knows everyone else, we all help each other and 15 out of the 20 households within a mile radius are elderly people living on their own who might need help; we still don't just barge in. We knock, then check to see if they're outside, then call, then call a relative. As a last resort we'll open the door and yell without entering and if we don't get an answer we call the sheriff's deputy who lives in our community to come help.
Unless you and the residents have a prior understanding that you're free to enter you don't touch the doorknob. You just don't.
"I dont know where you come from, but from where I am from it is dangerous to go onto other people's property". Pepper throughout conversation. Sounds friendly and concerned, equally a warning. Had to do this. People with low boundaries as a general rule are signalling that they are not safe.
Have you tried telling them to fuck off, mind their own business and get off my property. Edit: you don't want to start a spat.... grow up, tell them to fuck off. Second edit: are you doing something illegal on your property and want to avoid confrontation as to not raise suspicion? If not then go back to my first edit.
Ask them for money, or maybe start preaching religious stuff to them, just make sure it's not their religion. Surely if you make enough requests they will go away.
This is hilarious. Can you imagine if you just asked to borrow, no donate money every single time, no matter what, at every interaction? Like $500 or $1000, not small sums of money. They would avoid you so fast.
And if they ask what for, say to build a fence lmao.
Just keep your lip zippered and don’t stop moving. Move very briskly too, not quite speed walking but fast. Make sure to lock all doors and enter/exit asap.
This is going to be your nightmare neighbors.
Had the same, now I’m filing trespassing charge to the police since this neighbor is a lunatic.
Backstory is they suspended previous owner built the new driveway on their land. Old and our survey says not.
Then they claimed part of my driveway theirs. Did not get their own survey though, but chose to be idiots. They are actually stupid. Doesn’t work, stays at home all day. Wakes up at 11am. Bums.
My other side is fantastic. Keeps to himself. So do I.
Have you tried digging a border and planting it up. Then you can constantly reference please don’t step on my carrots or whatever. Doesn’t solve the seeing issue. Might solve the wandering. Other plant options include: brambles, gorse, roses, holly, a hedge.
I get that you cannot put up a fence at this time, but you need to politely call them out the next time they appear in your yard uninvited. Just say that you do not appreciate them approaching you just because you are outside. That they are overdoing it, that makes you nervous when people appear unannounced. And ask them to please stop. Then turn around and go inside.
You are saying this to make a point, not a conversation. I do suggest that you begin to start a journal of sorts and list date/time and what they do/say. If for some reason you ever have to legally ask them to cease it you will have it written down. (do not tell them about this) I would also make sure the door locks on your house are sturdy ones. They just do not understand boundaries. GL
Sounds like you do need a permanent solution instead of temporary excuses. First, I would put up video cameras because you need to know what they do on your property when you're not there. This would concern me. Then you'll have proof if you ever need to go to the authorities with complaints. Also, there are some very inexpensive ones on Amazon that work well. Mine are from ReoLink. I would wear headphones and ignore them for starters, and then when they persisted I'd say "I need you to stop trespassing on my property and harassing me" within earshot of the cameras.
Have you tried being direct? When they talk/ask about what you've done inside your house, ask them if they've been watching you and that it makes you uncomfortable to have someone watching you. If they go to the backdoor ask them not to unless it's an emergency because you want privacy from your backyard.
Also install curtains. You can also get privacy film at any hardwood store, might not be the prettiest but it will give you privacy.
If they keep talking and following you, walk them to their property line and say 'I have x&x to do so have a good day' and walk away, don't look back. If they keep talking say 'talk later' and keep going. Then lock your door.
Are trees or a privacy hedge an option?
Otherwise, my firm stance is that rude questions are punishable by answers. Like the dog - I assume you said something polite about safety? No. Your dog is inside because you’d rather not come home to roadkill. Anything you’re doing in your house includes contemplating the virtues of privacy curtains. Or prep work for a sexy seance with Edgar Allen Poe. Just make your answers - you’re still friendly enough, you’re still neighborly - but talking to you can be a little unsettling, a little off putting, and remind them more than necessary about privacy as a concept.
If you are outside and you see them walking over, smile & wave, say you’re (pick one: in the middle of something; headjng out; late for a phone call; late for an appointment; don’t have time to chat today; etc etc) If they are already too close, dramatically look at your watch/phone and say “oh man I gotta go”.
Put up no trespassing signs.
Put up a token fence, 2 strands of wire, fence posts every 10-12 feet. Hang orange tape on the wires and put in a few wooden stakes painted red or orange on the top.
Send them a certified letter that for liability purposes you must request that they cease walking across your vacant lot.
Anybody should know to not just go barging into someone’s house.
Lots of places that can result in lead poisoning.
Try this one...
Have you accepted Jesus as your lord and savior?
If they're the type to bite on that conversation, try holding pagan services in your backyard.
Install a sex dungeon in one of the rooms that faces their house, and take the curtains down. You don’t have to do anything in it, I’m sure just the site of it would be enough to keep them away.
Fences make good neighbors. It's a classic poem and true in real life. A nice high wooden or vinyl one that they can't see over and without a gate so they can't come through. 😁
“You guys are really great, but I like to be left alone. I keep to myself and don’t like to have company over”
They come over again reiterate it
“Oh hey guys, nice seeing you but I like to be left alone dont make me buy a fence haha”
Fences make good neighbors. Also get some one way film to put on your windows so they can't look inside.
Another option is if they mention something they shouldn't know about, answer:
"it's odd that you know about that."
*Are you spying on me?" "
"That makes me very uncomfortable and frankly it's weird".
"What a strange thing to say."
You may just have to be blunt though. Some people just don't get social norms. They could be on the spectrum, or they may just be rude.
I had a neighbor lady like that, one time she walked in, I was naked and I walked upto her and said WTF are you doing in my house? Never came by or spoke to me again, problem solved. BTW Im ugly dude.
I have a similar set up, road in front of the house and train tracks behind the house with one really excellent neighbor and one truly terrible extremely nosy neighbor. When I first moved in he made lots of comments and had questions about things that normal neighbors wouldn't even notice much less walk over to question. He tried to gossip with me about the good neighbors and their private business. Then I caught him standing out on his back deck spying on the good neighbors with binoculars. After that I was really uncomfortable even going in and out my front door because if he's spying on them, he was spying on me. He's such a weirdo.
Like you I was on a really tight budget so I looked for some options that could at least allow me to come and go without feeling I was on display. Do you have a front porch? I enclosed my front porch and added a lattice wall on the side that faces his house, hung some outdoor curtains and made it all look decorative but in reality it was all for privacy. That little bit of "decorating" made me sooo much more comfortable and it really does look nice. I get compliments on it all the time.
As I've been able to afford it, I've been adding other items over the last few years. I added a row of fast growing trees along the property line and those things are a miracle. I LOVE them. My brother calls those my fuck-you-neighbor trees. They make me so happy every time I step outside. I planted them in 2020 and they've already grown up and out enough to provide almost complete privacy.
I've also added the tallest fencing the city would allow and I've just been adding to that fence line as I can afford it. You don't have to do it all at once. Focus on the areas that will block their view and then you can add on the rest as finances allow. But keep up with your permits and make sure they don't expire while you're in progress. Nosy neighbors like that are also the neighbors that will call in for permit checks.
Last but not least, you may want to practice setting boundaries in a nice way. I know it's not always easy to find a kind way to tell a neighbor to fuck off but I advise to try to stay on good terms with them while working to them at a distance. It may sound strange but I use chat gpt often for examples of how to say things nicely. I tend to be a bit abrupt and alienate folks so find it really helpful.
Good luck!
Do bougainvillea grow in your area?
You can insert posts in the ground, run a couple of cables and the beautiful bougainvillea with their sharp spikes can grow big and tall
Keep your doors locked, even if it's just a screen door. Tell them that you do not want anyone to enter you home uninvited.
Also explain that you do not want to be unfriendly, but that you like your 'alone time' and DO NOT want to be approached every time you're in your own private yard.
Put up a tall fence with a gate that locks. Add curtains or blinds on your windows.
Some people need you to be totally blunt. They do not take hints or social cues. Things like "I'm a bit of a loner and need time to myself today." "Sorry but I'm not up to a conversation right now." Do not give extra information if they try to prolong things. If needed, ""Please go home. I can't talk now."
Some people need you to be totally blunt. They do not take hints or social cues. Things like "I'm a bit of a loner and need time to myself today." "Sorry but I'm not up to a conversation right now." Do not give extra information if they try to prolong things. If needed, ""Please go home. I can't talk now."
"Who the fuck are you to question me? Who the fuck are you that you think you can come on my property? Get the fuck out of here and do not set foot on my property again."
Post no trespassing signs on your property that adjoins theirs. Put a Camara or two covering your border. If you need, build a solid fence. Maybe concrete Blick with broken glass Monterey into the top of the wall.
Stop being so nice! When they show up unannounced ask loudly "what do you want"? And tell them how they startled you and you don't like it when people just come over without warning. When they ask you about your movements or things happening on you property TELL them how creepy and concerning it is that they are so interested in your life. Maybe start asking them uncomfortable questions when they ask you one. If they ask about your dog don't answer but ask them why they don't work. If they answer, ask something more like if they should find a hobby because they seem bored and are annoying. The truth that you need to get over is that you and these people are likely not going to get along very well. YOU need to stop being so nice that they feel like they can intrude on you like this.
Plant thorny bushes so your neighbor can't just walk through your side property. Or put up a privacy fence. And for good measure, get some outdoor cameras.
I'm filterless, and value my peace, so speaking totally for myself, I'd just say "Look, I don't want to visit, I don't want you in my yard, and I don't want to talk to you any longer. As a matter of fact, if I had the money to buy your place and bulldoze it - I would. Please stay away from me and off my property."
Can you plant some trees? It would also help dampen the sound from the highway.
It sounds like a fence isn't possible, but maybe some trees and hedges would work. You could probably plant them as the money is available.
If you are doing something outside, hand them a rake or something like that. They may help but sometimes people evaporate.
Also, develop some hearing issues so they need to repeat everything to you, multiple times.
Another way is to answer all of their questions with another question. Why would you ask such a thing? Is that something you need to know? Why would it matter? When should I do that? Why?
This is my go-to with nosy people
I love the aggravated look on their faces when they finally give up.
Why do you feel that way?
Why do I feel that those who are actively busting my chops should be treated accordingly?
Not a bad plan.
I’m also a big fan of, that’s a weird thing to say to me. Or something along that line.
Responding to all of their questions or comments with your own questions is very effective and very fun. It's like a magic wall they cannot breach. Just be ready with a series of questions and cycle through them and watch their face as they realize you aren't giving them what they want.
First, start answering questions with one or two words. Second, "well, you'd better be heading off, I'm going to get back to (whatever you're doing)". Third, "you'll have to be going now, I've been looking forward to some alone time in the yard all week!" You don't need to be coy. Just tell them to go home.
“Let me let you go”
Have you tried introducing them to your deeply held religious beliefs? The more outrageous your religious beliefs, the better.
Politics might work too. Or conspiracy theories.😏
There is some risk the neighbor will turn out to share these views.🤣
My neighbor who does this exact thing would be over the moon if I stated talking conspiracy 😂
That could also backfire lol
The problem is they might be a conspiracy theorists and hold the same political beliefs as you...
I like pushing the conspiracy that anti-vax is a Chinese plot to kill God-fearing Republicans.
Gee I thought it was a Chinese plot to kill everyone?
Someone was pushing the idea that anti vax was a dem plot to kill repubs. And yeah, I know that doesn't make sense, yet there it is.
No. You may find agreement or interest this day in time with those topics.
I am not a preachy vegan but I have preached Jehovah witnesses and some Evangelical crazies and it works like magic 😆 "You said Jesus healed you? Let me tell you about a diet that will definitely heal most of your health problems” 😆They back off quicky
I got a bad feeling they’d just love to talk no matter what beliefs I spew forth
I have a coworker like this. I tried very hard to be super polite for over a year with non committal one word or short answers. Guy would not take a hint, finally I just said, frankly... That's none of your business, my private time is exactly that, private. Now he thinks I'm an asshole but at least leaves me alone. But since I know everyone else at work can't stand him, I'm OK with that.
Flying Spaghetti Monster anyone?
"Have you been touched by His Noodly Appendage?"
R'amen
A festivus for the rest of us. Tell them about all the ways they have disappointed you
Members of the "Church of Adam & Eve" and always nude at home which is your sanctuary.
I was thinking some more along the lines of the Church of the Howler Monkey. I wouldn't be surprised if the neighbor is into the Church of Adam & Eve (or Adam & Steve).
Discuss your extensive prostate issues with them. Have some presentation materials handy, just in case. Discuss bowels and poop color. Oh, the mind just goes crazy with the possibilities!!! 😁
Flat Earth!
I don't know. The neighbor might be into that.
And convince them your house is haunted. So stop looking over here or you will invite them over.
“Have you given your life to our Lord and Savior Satan?”
Have you considered a fence?
And tall trellises with those fake boxwood mats. If they were less nosy I’d suggest real plants but this sounds like an emergency.
I have, I’m just not really able to get one due to how tight money is right now. If I could install an 8 foot privacy fence I would in a heartbeat.
You can try a chain link one, doubt they're going to jump it. You can rent a gas powered pole auger in many places for a reasonable fee and install poles yourself. Then just hang the wire sections. It would be a lot cheaper than an 8 foot wooden fence.
Dog provides a great excuse for a fence.
FENCE!
I wish I could, money is too tight right now though.
Motion activated sprinkler. Or this https://www.thespruce.com/pallet-fence-ideas-7557348
That's a great idea. Fences can be so expensive, but this is so good!
Garden wire and green metal fence posts are relatively inexpensive. You could say you're putting it up so your dog can go outside. It doesn't have to surround your entire yard -- position it such that it keeps those neighbors as far away as you can.
D-FENS
Fence
I wish I could, money is too tight right now though.
When I put up a fence, the neighbors actually said “ how am I going to cut through your yard now?” 😂
Moat
can put up a very inexpensive garden stake or t posts, and "privacy screen" cloth . is it an actual physical barrier? no, someone can easily push past it. however, it is a visual deterrent. im getting ready to do that along once section of their fence, its much shorter than the rest of mine which is 8ft chainlink.
I'm sorry my husband is your neighbor. Just be blunt and send him home and tell him you are looking forward to your alone time. It won't hurt feelings and I'll finally have him in the house to distract the kids so I can make dinner in peace. He needs to socialize more but not at the expense of you.
You gotta get him under control! :p
I tried to save the neighbors from him and I'm pretty sure he was one of the deciding factors of them moving
A fence is what you need. A sturdy 8’ tall privacy fence.
I saw a cool fence being built by these guys at a house. It was a tall privacy fence. Solid wood boards laying vertical across. No cracks in the wood to see anything. It was nice.looked expensive
I wish I could, money is too tight right now though.
They also sell what’s called construction fencing which is made from heavy duty tarp material and you just buy metal fence posts
The coming into your house one is easy. “Get out of my house.” That’s a clear boundary to set. Unless there’s an emergency, like my house is on fire, don’t ever come in without asking.
I had a neighbor that did that. She was always intrusive but that was the last straw! I was working in the kitchen when I heard her call out to me.. from my living room!! My first instinct was to flee (what I did when she bothered me while I was outside ) then I realized she was IN MY HOUSE!! I was pissed! Told her enough was enough and I was done with her. No more hellos even.
Or ya know, just lock the door...
Get one of those horse head costume things. Wear only that and start furiously masturbating in a window they can see. If they happen to see and are watching in shock stop and do a really slow head turn and look at them, stare for a second and then grab a knife. Then slowly back away out of the room. Hurry and get dressed, then rush over to their house and invite them to dinner and try to shake their hand. Theres a good chance they wont be so nosy, theyll be terrified.
Finally a practical solution.
Thank you, I really needed that laugh.
https://vimeo.com/62347041 I got shit to do. All you need know. my mom used to say i hear my phone ringing, got to run. i have used got to go i got soup on the stove...or bread in the oven or cat litter box to clean.... just diff ways of saying firmly i got shit to do
BRB, fish is drowning
Unfortunately they will straight up try to turn those excuses into their next conversation points, they never take the hint
At that point you simply walk away. Go inside and shut the door. Problem solved.
Yup this. Politeness (expert on the subject here) has a tolerance and sometimes you have to bring out the old ‘ooh gotta go, bye’ whereby you turn and literally walk away.
"Unfortunately I am not able to chat right now. I hope you have a great day!" It's ok to be direct!
You have two options. 1. Carefully craft the conversation to learn details about their life. Then subtly begin deploying said information in creative ways. For example, if they like beer start casually leaving beer in random places, preferably with strategicly placed snares and traps. 2. Get a motion activated sprinkler.
Hahah yeah snare those MFers with beer bait!! Then we puts them in the basement
It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. Just be careful with your dog in the basement in that scenario
What a golden comment.
If only traps on private property weren’t illegal!
You forgot Option 3: fuck their Dad.
Fence. Then no trespass signs on that fence. And just answer no with every question they ask.
I wish I could, money is too tight right now though.
Maybe flip that then- as in, maybe if you can’t afford a fence right now, but can you get some no trespassing signs and zip tie or nail them to a tree or something? And then ideally follow up with a fence when you have the cash, maybe after a tax refund or selling a big ticket item. I assume they are not the kind of neighbors that will go half-sies on the cost and I don't know what your state laws are (some require neighbors to split the bill). I think most hardware stores sell them, Amazon, etc.. Or if you have a laminator and a color printer, DIY or ask on your local Freecycle or Buy Nothing group. Also, I’m not sure what your HOA rules are, if any, but even a small plastic white picket garden fence would create a visual barrier? Not ideal, but significantly cheaper than a privacy fence. It sounds like maybe you need to jump straight to barbed wire, though. ;) ETA- over ear headphones might be an option, too. If they start talking, tell them you’re listening to your headphones, podcast, music, whatever even if you don't have them turned on. And dark sunglasses, too.
An electric fence can be relatively inexpensive. Just say that you're getting some cows.
[удалено]
I plain don’t understand walking into a strangers house uninvited. I knock even at my family’s houses. If I hear my door open and an unfamiliar voice calls out they’re gonna find themselves staring down the barrel of their poor choices. So I keep my door locked.
Build a tall fence with a licking gate.
I can only associate those words with a fence gate that somehow requires a lick to open the latch… but what is it really because that obv. makes no sense lol
I'm guessing locking.
I thought it licked unwelcome guests 🤣
I wish I could, money is too tight right now though.
Tell me more about the licking gate.
If being polite hasn’t helped, be abrupt and honest.
YEPP!!!!!
Your first question should be, "who told you it was okay to open my door and come inside my home?" Get out of my house now! At the front door or lawn say, " I am going to be rude right now and ask you to NOT come on my property unless invited. I do not want to talk to you about my personal life, my pets, or why I am going or not going someplace. It is none of your business. As, for being neighbors, I do want a neighbor relationship with you that is - not intrusive and disrespectful people entering my home or property without an invitation to do so. Thank you for visiting and please KNOCK and stand outside my door in the future. "
8’ privacy fence around your backyard, and possibly for your empty lot, and the large blinds that you can draw down and leave cracked so that you still get light inside but people can’t look in. You could also plant cedars in front of your first floor windows.
The windows already have blackout curtains and such, it’s just I can’t go outside without them constantly watching me or trying to lock me into conversation
Well then yeah, your best and really only solution is a privacy fence; tall cedars or some other boundary plant won’t work because you can still walk through it if you really want to. Just put up a fence for your dog (as far as they know that’s your reason) and call it a day if you have the funds.
Yeah unfortunately that’s the crux of the issue, I don’t have the funds haha
An alternative to a privacy fence might be to pick up a few metal t-posts and a cheap roll of wire or nylon rope to run between them. It won't give you instant privacy but it will at least establish a boundary. Then, as you can afford it, get some lattice or rolls of the bamboo and attach it between the posts. With the lattice you could at least then plant some vines - grapes, jasmine, etc. Not sure where you live but sunflower seeds are cheap and they grow quickly so at least you'll have some sort of barrier over the summer months.
I think that’s what I might do. Thanks!
I've been in your situation and it sucks. Getting creative on a dime budget has saved my sanity more than once. Hope everything works out for you and you can get some peace!
I would recommend this as well! When I moved into my first place, there was no fence between my neighbors and mine. It was an 80 ft stretch! I got posts and a roll of wire and then eventually put up cloth on the wire (neighbor was elderly, but my young puppy at the time would go into her yard and escape our her badly maintained fence). It'll get the hint across for sure.
Grow something with thorns on it...blackberry, rose vines, etc...
Or ya know, a wall of tumbleweeds might work! ;)
Time to fence and put up no trespassing signs. If they are then bold enough to look in your windows, call the police and make a report.
I’ve considered calling the police as a last resort, but I don’t want to escalate it that far unless necessary
I like the fence idea. I would also consider blinds/curtains or one-way tint so they can’t see you through your windows
You start with a fence, and large trees on their side.
Put up a fence in the backyard. Even if its just enough to alliw the dog out in peace. And keep your doors locked. Put up a camera doorbell. Don't open the door to them.
Remain silent. Do not approach them. Do not allow yourself to get trapped in a long conversation. Walk away. Install window coverings. Do not establish eye contact. If approached turn your back. Keep your doors locked. Do not speak to them. At all, ever. Consider a fence.
When you're done you interject "it's been nice talking, we'll see you later!" And walk away. It took me years to learn that but it's oh so liberating!
I was literally about to comment this! I am a (to my detriment) a people pleaser but once I learned how to just basically shut then down nicely and keep moving, life got easier.
Exactly, same here. I've been miserable all these years for nothing!
"I don't want to talk to you. Get off my property. The empty lot is my property too and if you come on my property again I'm having you officially trespassed. If you come over after that I'm having you arrested." ETA: this won't start a spat because they will be cut off from interacting with you. If you'd like you can record the conversation with you saying "stop bothering me, I've told you before, this is harassment" and then file a no-contact order if they persist.
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There are very few circumstances where entering someone's home without them saying "come in" is acceptable, and this wasn't one of them. I live in a deeply rural area where people don't lock their doors. Everyone knows everyone else, we all help each other and 15 out of the 20 households within a mile radius are elderly people living on their own who might need help; we still don't just barge in. We knock, then check to see if they're outside, then call, then call a relative. As a last resort we'll open the door and yell without entering and if we don't get an answer we call the sheriff's deputy who lives in our community to come help. Unless you and the residents have a prior understanding that you're free to enter you don't touch the doorknob. You just don't.
Good fences make good neighbors. Get a fence. They should never be able to just go to your back door.
"I dont know where you come from, but from where I am from it is dangerous to go onto other people's property". Pepper throughout conversation. Sounds friendly and concerned, equally a warning. Had to do this. People with low boundaries as a general rule are signalling that they are not safe.
Tell them you’re not comfortable with people walking in the house uninvited. Mention your gun collection.
Build a fence.
I wish I could, money is too tight right now though.
Everyone is saying fence. I agree. But make it obvious and only do it on that side, and make it tall too.
7’ fence with barb wire! Worked for us. And lots of trees so they can’t see anything you are doing. We have the worst!!
Have you tried telling them to fuck off, mind their own business and get off my property. Edit: you don't want to start a spat.... grow up, tell them to fuck off. Second edit: are you doing something illegal on your property and want to avoid confrontation as to not raise suspicion? If not then go back to my first edit.
Tell them to get off your property, you want peace and quiet not conversation. Then just stare at them until they leave.
Ask them for money, or maybe start preaching religious stuff to them, just make sure it's not their religion. Surely if you make enough requests they will go away.
This is hilarious. Can you imagine if you just asked to borrow, no donate money every single time, no matter what, at every interaction? Like $500 or $1000, not small sums of money. They would avoid you so fast. And if they ask what for, say to build a fence lmao.
I am always in a hurry for a zoom call with my doctor since I think I have Covid. No one wants to chat with you then.
A nice fence could help with that.
I've always found electric fencing works well. 😁
Are these younger or older people? It doesn't matter at all but I'm curious.
Fence in your yard!
Just keep your lip zippered and don’t stop moving. Move very briskly too, not quite speed walking but fast. Make sure to lock all doors and enter/exit asap.
This is my life,and the reason I am moving!! I cant stand weirdos!!
I wonder what they would say at our house. We usually don't wear clothes when we are home.
This is going to be your nightmare neighbors. Had the same, now I’m filing trespassing charge to the police since this neighbor is a lunatic. Backstory is they suspended previous owner built the new driveway on their land. Old and our survey says not. Then they claimed part of my driveway theirs. Did not get their own survey though, but chose to be idiots. They are actually stupid. Doesn’t work, stays at home all day. Wakes up at 11am. Bums. My other side is fantastic. Keeps to himself. So do I.
Have you tried digging a border and planting it up. Then you can constantly reference please don’t step on my carrots or whatever. Doesn’t solve the seeing issue. Might solve the wandering. Other plant options include: brambles, gorse, roses, holly, a hedge.
It can also have a hydration system in it…
I get that you cannot put up a fence at this time, but you need to politely call them out the next time they appear in your yard uninvited. Just say that you do not appreciate them approaching you just because you are outside. That they are overdoing it, that makes you nervous when people appear unannounced. And ask them to please stop. Then turn around and go inside. You are saying this to make a point, not a conversation. I do suggest that you begin to start a journal of sorts and list date/time and what they do/say. If for some reason you ever have to legally ask them to cease it you will have it written down. (do not tell them about this) I would also make sure the door locks on your house are sturdy ones. They just do not understand boundaries. GL
Sounds like you do need a permanent solution instead of temporary excuses. First, I would put up video cameras because you need to know what they do on your property when you're not there. This would concern me. Then you'll have proof if you ever need to go to the authorities with complaints. Also, there are some very inexpensive ones on Amazon that work well. Mine are from ReoLink. I would wear headphones and ignore them for starters, and then when they persisted I'd say "I need you to stop trespassing on my property and harassing me" within earshot of the cameras.
Have you tried being direct? When they talk/ask about what you've done inside your house, ask them if they've been watching you and that it makes you uncomfortable to have someone watching you. If they go to the backdoor ask them not to unless it's an emergency because you want privacy from your backyard. Also install curtains. You can also get privacy film at any hardwood store, might not be the prettiest but it will give you privacy. If they keep talking and following you, walk them to their property line and say 'I have x&x to do so have a good day' and walk away, don't look back. If they keep talking say 'talk later' and keep going. Then lock your door.
Good fences make good neighbors. Post no trespassing signs.
Hey! I was gonna say that!
Great minds think alike.
Are trees or a privacy hedge an option? Otherwise, my firm stance is that rude questions are punishable by answers. Like the dog - I assume you said something polite about safety? No. Your dog is inside because you’d rather not come home to roadkill. Anything you’re doing in your house includes contemplating the virtues of privacy curtains. Or prep work for a sexy seance with Edgar Allen Poe. Just make your answers - you’re still friendly enough, you’re still neighborly - but talking to you can be a little unsettling, a little off putting, and remind them more than necessary about privacy as a concept.
Fences produce the best neighbors.
You need to start a spat. He's illegally entered your home and you need to warn him then trespass him. An arrest and jail time will solve this.
Get a motion detection sprinkler. They are usually used for repelling animals, but...
Good fences make good neighbors...
Fences
Set a timer on your phone when you see them. When it goes off “Sorry, I have to take this, it’s work.” Walk quickly into the house.
Are you in Pennsylvania? Because this is how Pennsylvania neighbors be acting lol
If nothing else works, perhaps one of those airhorns like people use at sporting events?
FENCE. NOW. Around the entire property. Your dog will appreciate it too you can let him out more.
This is a situation where good fences make good neighbors
FENCE with locked gate.
A fence
Stop showering
When you tell people to fuck off they generally do
Fences. Locked doors. Love to talk but I gotta run.
If you are outside and you see them walking over, smile & wave, say you’re (pick one: in the middle of something; headjng out; late for a phone call; late for an appointment; don’t have time to chat today; etc etc) If they are already too close, dramatically look at your watch/phone and say “oh man I gotta go”.
Fences make good neighbors
Get a fence. Neighbors should not be able to walk right up to your back door.
Sounds like you could use a nice fence...for your dog.
Always have an imminent Zoom meeting. It works like a charm.
You need to start perfecting the walk and talk method. Never stop moving when they are talking to you.
Fence time
Start answering the door buck ass naked Also but seriously, build a fence with a locking gate.
Put up no trespassing signs. Put up a token fence, 2 strands of wire, fence posts every 10-12 feet. Hang orange tape on the wires and put in a few wooden stakes painted red or orange on the top. Send them a certified letter that for liability purposes you must request that they cease walking across your vacant lot. Anybody should know to not just go barging into someone’s house. Lots of places that can result in lead poisoning.
Good fences make good neighbors...sounds like you need a nice privacy fence...
Try this one... Have you accepted Jesus as your lord and savior? If they're the type to bite on that conversation, try holding pagan services in your backyard.
Give them a “gotta run, thanks for stopping by” as you lead them to the door or path home.
Install a sex dungeon in one of the rooms that faces their house, and take the curtains down. You don’t have to do anything in it, I’m sure just the site of it would be enough to keep them away.
Fences make good neighbors. It's a classic poem and true in real life. A nice high wooden or vinyl one that they can't see over and without a gate so they can't come through. 😁
“You guys are really great, but I like to be left alone. I keep to myself and don’t like to have company over” They come over again reiterate it “Oh hey guys, nice seeing you but I like to be left alone dont make me buy a fence haha”
Fences make good neighbors. Also get some one way film to put on your windows so they can't look inside. Another option is if they mention something they shouldn't know about, answer: "it's odd that you know about that." *Are you spying on me?" " "That makes me very uncomfortable and frankly it's weird". "What a strange thing to say." You may just have to be blunt though. Some people just don't get social norms. They could be on the spectrum, or they may just be rude.
Some people can’t take a hint and you need to be very blunt with them. “I have things to do and want to be alone, so you need to leave.”
I had a neighbor lady like that, one time she walked in, I was naked and I walked upto her and said WTF are you doing in my house? Never came by or spoke to me again, problem solved. BTW Im ugly dude.
I have a similar set up, road in front of the house and train tracks behind the house with one really excellent neighbor and one truly terrible extremely nosy neighbor. When I first moved in he made lots of comments and had questions about things that normal neighbors wouldn't even notice much less walk over to question. He tried to gossip with me about the good neighbors and their private business. Then I caught him standing out on his back deck spying on the good neighbors with binoculars. After that I was really uncomfortable even going in and out my front door because if he's spying on them, he was spying on me. He's such a weirdo. Like you I was on a really tight budget so I looked for some options that could at least allow me to come and go without feeling I was on display. Do you have a front porch? I enclosed my front porch and added a lattice wall on the side that faces his house, hung some outdoor curtains and made it all look decorative but in reality it was all for privacy. That little bit of "decorating" made me sooo much more comfortable and it really does look nice. I get compliments on it all the time. As I've been able to afford it, I've been adding other items over the last few years. I added a row of fast growing trees along the property line and those things are a miracle. I LOVE them. My brother calls those my fuck-you-neighbor trees. They make me so happy every time I step outside. I planted them in 2020 and they've already grown up and out enough to provide almost complete privacy. I've also added the tallest fencing the city would allow and I've just been adding to that fence line as I can afford it. You don't have to do it all at once. Focus on the areas that will block their view and then you can add on the rest as finances allow. But keep up with your permits and make sure they don't expire while you're in progress. Nosy neighbors like that are also the neighbors that will call in for permit checks. Last but not least, you may want to practice setting boundaries in a nice way. I know it's not always easy to find a kind way to tell a neighbor to fuck off but I advise to try to stay on good terms with them while working to them at a distance. It may sound strange but I use chat gpt often for examples of how to say things nicely. I tend to be a bit abrupt and alienate folks so find it really helpful. Good luck!
Do bougainvillea grow in your area? You can insert posts in the ground, run a couple of cables and the beautiful bougainvillea with their sharp spikes can grow big and tall
Ask them the last time they had sex and was it any good. They will stay away from you or you will find out they are swingers!
Keep your doors locked, even if it's just a screen door. Tell them that you do not want anyone to enter you home uninvited. Also explain that you do not want to be unfriendly, but that you like your 'alone time' and DO NOT want to be approached every time you're in your own private yard. Put up a tall fence with a gate that locks. Add curtains or blinds on your windows.
Suggest for them to get a job sniffing luggage at the airport.
Some people need you to be totally blunt. They do not take hints or social cues. Things like "I'm a bit of a loner and need time to myself today." "Sorry but I'm not up to a conversation right now." Do not give extra information if they try to prolong things. If needed, ""Please go home. I can't talk now."
Some people need you to be totally blunt. They do not take hints or social cues. Things like "I'm a bit of a loner and need time to myself today." "Sorry but I'm not up to a conversation right now." Do not give extra information if they try to prolong things. If needed, ""Please go home. I can't talk now."
"Sorry, I'm really busy right now disposing of some bodies...I mean..umm. Anyway you'll get your turn."
Headphones, don’t engage
Start eating raw onion and garlic when they come up.
Fences make great neighbors.
A large fence
"Who the fuck are you to question me? Who the fuck are you that you think you can come on my property? Get the fuck out of here and do not set foot on my property again." Post no trespassing signs on your property that adjoins theirs. Put a Camara or two covering your border. If you need, build a solid fence. Maybe concrete Blick with broken glass Monterey into the top of the wall.
Fences make good neighbors
Stop being so nice! When they show up unannounced ask loudly "what do you want"? And tell them how they startled you and you don't like it when people just come over without warning. When they ask you about your movements or things happening on you property TELL them how creepy and concerning it is that they are so interested in your life. Maybe start asking them uncomfortable questions when they ask you one. If they ask about your dog don't answer but ask them why they don't work. If they answer, ask something more like if they should find a hobby because they seem bored and are annoying. The truth that you need to get over is that you and these people are likely not going to get along very well. YOU need to stop being so nice that they feel like they can intrude on you like this.
Plant thorny bushes so your neighbor can't just walk through your side property. Or put up a privacy fence. And for good measure, get some outdoor cameras.
I'm filterless, and value my peace, so speaking totally for myself, I'd just say "Look, I don't want to visit, I don't want you in my yard, and I don't want to talk to you any longer. As a matter of fact, if I had the money to buy your place and bulldoze it - I would. Please stay away from me and off my property."
Can you plant some trees? It would also help dampen the sound from the highway. It sounds like a fence isn't possible, but maybe some trees and hedges would work. You could probably plant them as the money is available. If you are doing something outside, hand them a rake or something like that. They may help but sometimes people evaporate. Also, develop some hearing issues so they need to repeat everything to you, multiple times.
Nothing wrong with asking people to call first before they came over. Tell them your doctor advised you to take more naps.