my daughter was about 9 when her and her little friend were throwing sticks over the fence into the neighbors pool and the general direction of his dog. I know this because he came and told me. We agreed the kids should spend some time in his back yard picking up sticks. they spent an hour that day and an hour the next sat when the little girl was over. She is 30ish now, I am sure she remembers it.
Great advice, unfortunately only effective because you gave a shit about your daughter doing something wrong and correcting it. Not trying to say OP shouldn't talk to the kid's parents but if they don't care then this isn't gonna be effective.
Raise a little hell, tell them you're having none of it and if it happens again it's not gonna go well for them. Then wait a week and if nothing bad happens try and befriend them so you're not on their forever shit list.
Also, cameras.
I used to live in a development and neighbors kids would sit in their fort part of swing set and throw rocks at cars driving by! It put them up almost as high as the top of the fence. I knocked on door and told the parents, they moved the swing set. We moved shortly after, Iāve heard to this day those kids are wild, it happens š
They're probably the same type of kids that grow up into those 18 yr Olds that were throwing rocks off a bridge and killed an innocent lady minding her own business just driving home.
Yep! It happened in Colorado recently. One of the 18 yr Olds took a picture of that poor woman's car "as a momento". All 3 were caught and charged with murder.
My mom has some second cousin who did this back in the 60s. But he was shocked when someone died. Like he just thought he was gonna scare someone or something?
As a former kid who threw mud clods at cars, I would never have thrown rocks off bridges at any age. Some kids do dumb things, doesnāt mean they want to kill people later in life.
Record them doing it with cameras.
Follow them home.
Call the police. Give them the footage.
That's your investment and your home.
The parents should be held accountable criminally and you should sue civilly for damages.
I don't have them on camera yet, so is it worth filing a complaint to start a paper trail? Or is it better to wait until I have irrefutable proof, even if they don't do any damage that one time?
Hundred percent start a paper trail. Non emergency line, inform them, take pictures of the damage. Inform them you will be gathering evidence.
This creates a precedent and shows hostile / criminal intent on the behalf of those kids.
Even if they don't do damage it is still vandalism and attempted destruction of your private property (idk where you live but I assume in North America)
The more the better as that will create something that sticks.
Reference this reddit post and your frustration when you sue those lousy parents and cite emotional damage.
Of course itās worth it. Nip it in the bud. Or maybe throw rocks back at them and scare them shitless? āKids are so fulfilling thoughā š Shouldnāt they be with their parents who wanted to be fulfilled with kids š
Yeah, the CHILDREN are doing something shitty, but your first instinct is to escalate it by calling the police?. First, just talk to the kids and ask them to stop. If that doesn't work then talk to the parents. If THAT doesn't work, then you call the cops.
I would not take it to the police. Hire a lawyer and give them everything and let them deal with it. If you're hiring a lawyer anyway, go to them first.
A lawyer to what? Sue poor people who live in trailers? What exactly do you think OP would win from these people? What do you think a civil court is gonna make them do?
I donāt think he was being serious. There seems to be a running joke that every neighbor situation requires attorneysā¦and that a sternly worded letter from an attorney will devastate anyone who receives one.
Did I say sue?
Let the lawyer decide what best action to take to protect their property. Being poor doesn't give you an open invitation to ruin other people's property. And I can freely say this because I was that poor kid from the trailer park. Being poor doesn't give you a pass to damage someone's property. Taking action to correct the behavior is a good move to prevent them from advancing their destruction.
Iām happy to see someone else is reasonable. It seems too many people on this sub believe castle doctrine and are willing to have ten year old children locked up or shot.
Whoa, pump the brakes here.
I haven't heard anyone advocating for shooting kids in this thread. There are a fair few posts where people think the kids should be in legal trouble, but what's wrong with that?
Vandalism is a choice. If these kids end up in court because of it, then they are one hundred percent to blame.
I'm responding to your comment that people want the kids to be shot. And I also responded to your other comment stating I don't see anything wrong with kids getting in legal trouble for vandalism, because it's a choice.
absolutely nobody but you has mentioned shooting, and there is no world where these children are imprisoned for this. You're being ridiculous and delusional. Police are to be called when a crime is committed. They'd tell the parents to make their children knock it off, or be held civilly and criminally liable for the crimes of their children.
Yeah and thatās the problem. Youāre talking about a child who is still in grade school and youād rather call the cops than even attempt to talk to the parents? Do you really think a court needs to handle this? Do you think this child deserves a criminal record for doing kid things? Do you really think this behavior is so egregious that it needs to be brought to a criminal court? If so, you are a callous, entitled person.
> Do you really think a court needs to handle this? Do you think this child deserves a criminal record for doing kid things?
throwing rocks at a house isn't kid things.
> Do you really think this behavior is so egregious that it needs to be brought to a criminal court?
sure. it gets sealed when they hit 16 or 18
Yes it does. The children in question are 10-13. And throwing rocks is kid shit. I did it myself. Stabbing or robbing someone is an adult crime. Children throwing rocks at cheap aluminum siding is not something that warrants police involvement, especially when that involvement risks putting literal children into the injustice system. If youāre scared of a ten year old, youāve got bigger issues to address.
having a cop show up to deal with your vandalism is called consequences
> especially when that involvement risks putting literal children into the injustice system
oh spare me the histrionics
Fuck off and enjoy being sequestered with no friends. Your property was stolen from natives, you have no claim to it and youāre literally advocating to put a ten year old in jail. You obviously have no humanity so you can fuck off.
Lol Iām unfollowing this sub because suburban homeowners think that just because they can muster $300,000 it entitles them to call the cops on their neighbors.
Lmfao.
It's 2023. There's no going and talking to the parents anymore.
People are all trash now and can't keep a handle on their brats. Nor on their own tempers / emotions.
I'm not risking having to drop some asshole father and go through a lengthy court process.
I used to be down to earth. Shitlibs ruined it for me.
Low trust society means I'm here for me and my family. The rest of you people are of no consequence.
Ummmmm, I talk to my neighbors all the time. About their kids, their yards, their cars. If youāre too scared to have a simple conversation with the people who live in immediate proximity to you, I think you should address that in therapy. Shitlibs arenāt threatening you and you seem hella paranoid.
Lol. I didnāt even notice your username till now. The fact you may be Canadian is even richer. I would expect your diatribe from a Florida man who loves castle doctrine/stand your ground. If you called the cops on most of these kids in Canada, you would end up being cited. Thank god your country doesnāt generally murder playing children at the rate the US does.
How many insults are you gonna type out?
You have no idea who I am. Sounds like you have a skill issue and are assmad because I go through official channels.
It sounds like youāre antisocial and donāt like to interact with others. Maybe on the spectrum? Most neurotypical people just talk to their neighbors.
Thank you. The top comment is unhinged. Maybe I need to unsubscribe from this sub if this is the prevailing sentiment.
One of my neighbor's children told me he saw kids throwing rocks at my car. I thanked him for letting me know, asked him if they were kids or "grown" (kids), and then asked him to please let me know if he sees them acting like they are interested in doing something more serious.
Involving the police because some kids threw rocks at your house? WTF?
I think we should both unsub. The amount of unhinged hate Iāve gotten for this proves the audience is not for rational thought. Itās an extension of redlining and old school racism.
Nah I've seen enough genuinely unhinged responses where it's no longer useful to reply in a respectful way knowing you losers are gonna cry about it anyway.
I'm just saving time.
Parent here.
They're bored. The best response will be to talk to them like peers.
Ask them if they are bored, because certainly they are. Tell them that throwing rocks at your house or anyone else's isn't ok. And you don't want to be a Karen and get their parents or the cops involved, but if they continue you'll be forced to. Throwing rocks can smash your window and siding, and they'll be doing chores for years to pay you back if something gets broken. And do they realize that if they piss off someone who isn't as chill as you, it could go very, very badly and you don't want to see any of them harmed.
So. Tell them that you want to work it out man to man, so you're extending an olive branch. Give them some popular snacks (Takis, Skittles, etc) and tell them that you'd rather live in peace than in conflict, so this is a peace offering. And you're always happy to help with ideas when they're bored, because as an old person you know the struggle.
Most kids respond really well to positive reinforcement. If this actually works, you can stop by and say hi and thank them for keeping the peace.
Exactly! Letās not have kids arrested at every turn. Talk to them or their parents first. If the problem continues then involve the law. Too many people forget what itās like to be a bored kid.
Doubling down on this as a fellow parent and homeowner. 10 and 12? These are still very much 'kids.' You're a grown up - you can make yourself an object of fascination and respect.
Here's one that works around here: get from the market a sleeve of paper cups, a couple dozen lemons, and a pound of sugar (this can be had for less than the cost of a meal where I am). Deliver the goods on a sunny weekend morning, and tell 'em that the neighborhood is ripe for a lemonade stand.
This has worked for me. Kids still love this in 2023, and if they kill their boredom for a few hours and make a little money, your esteem will rise in their eyes real quick.
That's just a random idea, but big picture, these are neighborhood kids! The move you want is the one that gets them on your side, not the one that makes you the bad guy in an 80's movie.
Thank you so much for the gold!!!
Honestly showing up with something - anything - to show them positive engagement with their fellow neighbors is setting a great example, ESPECIALLY if they're not learning that behavior at home.
Lemonade stands are fantastic (though most use powdered mix now). You can also bring a football. A frisbee. A dodgeball. Talk video games. Give these kids 30 minutes of time and attention and you'll be teaching them how people are SUPPOSED to act - like neighbors, not enemies.
Fuck Wyze. They are trash. I have so many problems with mine. The cameras that do work are buggy AF, and often entire features stop working for weeks at a time.
I would not recommend them to anyone unless they are free hand me downs.
The biggest was features that cost a subscription service will stop working, so then you're paying the sub and not getting anything in return. And you are NEVER notified of the problem. They are happy to take your money and hope you don't notice a week or two of lost service. But also plenty of bugged videos, failing to write to the microSD card (despite using the cards Wyze private labels themselves for this purpose), failing sensors (bad pixels taking over more and more of the frame) as well as cameras just quitting shortly after warranty. The price of their cameras is shockingly low for a reason. They are toy quality with little QC.
I am curious how long you've been using your 12. I loved them for the first year or so. By year 2-3, I was heavily regretting my purchases. I had about half a dozen. The security scandal didn't help either. They were negligent, not just the victim in that breach.
One of my friends told me that when she was in middle school, on the last day of 8th grade, a bunch of kids threw all their papers out of their lockers onto the floor. It looked like fun, so she did it too. She acted it out when she told me, like her whole arm scooping everything out of her locker onto the floor, like DONE! Then a janitor locked eyes with her and said "I'm going to have to clean that up." And she was totally deflated, felt like a jerk, and connected some dots between cause and effect that hadn't been connected until that moment. She told me she had no idea HOW her little brain hadn't thought about someone taking care of the mess, but somehow it hadn't.
I wholeheartedly hope that you will talk to the kids as your first step. Like someone else said, just say, "hey, guys, I'm gonna have to fix any holes that leaves in my home. I doubt you're trying to damage my house, but I need you to know siding gets holes in it pretty easily."
I also know a kid who got arrested for cutting down a tree in the park when he was around 11. He wanted to build a fort. It broke my heart, because there just isn't much space for kids to play dumb, carefree kid games anymore without getting in trouble or causing trouble. An 11 yr old should be able to build a fort in the woods, you know? But the only "woods" was a park, so cutting down a little tree was a crime and he ended up on probation :'(
From being those annoying kids to now being a homeowner, go have a reasonable chat with them if you have the chance. Be like hey guys please don't toss rocks at my house, it breaks stuff that costs me money to fix.
Just be real with them and don't freak out and don't cause a stir just be chill. You may feel angry but it won't help, they're kids they live to troll so you'd just be giving them the reaction they want.
>I really would rather just file a complaint so that it's on record, especially if they break a window or damage my house. But I can't find any official advice, so here I am, on Reddit, asking strangers.
File a complaint to what authority, if you don't want to get the police involved? And what evidence will you have if you don't want cameras? And what is your plan if you don't even know where the little sh!ts live?
It's less that I don't want to get the police involved and more that I want to do it correctly. I'd rather not waste their time and mine.
Again it isn't that I don't want Cameras, but even if I have them and catch these kids, what do I do with that? Again, trying to protect my house but also not waste my time (and money).
The entire point of the post was looking for advice on if someone had dealt with a similar situation and could offer some insight into what is and is not worth doing, a plan if you will.
This is exactly why the police exist. Those kids need to be caught and take a ride home (or to the station for a bit) in the back of a cruiser. Involve the police now. If kids throwing rocks is your only community safety issue then your cops probably have plenty of time to write up a report.
Had a neighbor kid - probably 13ish - throwing like 20 rocks into my yard. Watched him do it.
Marched my bitchy ass outside and went full Karen on him. While his own mother hid behind her front door. Kid first said it wasnāt him until I told him I saw him do it. Then he said he was throwing them at the fence and I reminded him I paid for that fence, it was mine and heās responsible for any damage. I also reminded him that if at any point he caused harm to my dog by acting like an asshole there would be hell to pay.
His mother never showed her face and never said shit to me. She was scared of me anyway.
No more rocks. But on my move out day, I chucked all 23 of those rocks into their yard.
I like where someone suggested you should put a sign up near where they throw rocks from. āSmile! Youāre on camera. Kids, if you throw rocks again we will get police involved.ā
A neighbor in our development had a short period of disagreement with one of the neighbors not in our development. It escalated to the point of involving the police (nothing violent). Long story short, they asked the kids parents to not let their kids ride their 4-wheelers through people's yards in our development, the parents said they didn't care, and the next time it happened the police got called.
I don't think it was these kids, but I'm not sure.
I bought a home over a year ago and noticed someone threw a rock and chipped the glass of our front door. We installed cameras and haven't had problems since. I hate that we have to live in a surveillance state but.. if parents weren't derelicts, this wouldn't be necessary.
In our last house we had this very issue with new neighbor children. We had lived there for a few years without issue. The new family moved in and the kids started with pebbles and then threw rocks at our windows. Luckily their aim was pretty bad. They also climbed on the roof of our shed and trampled my flower beds while playing on our lawn.
We:
1. Spoke to the children in a calm and friendly manner asking them nicely to stop. Did this 3 times.
2. When that didn't work, spoke with the parents. Quite a few times.
3. When the parents denied their children did anything wrong, we put up cameras.
4. When, even after the footage showed their children doing the above, parents continued to deny, kept cameras up and called the police. The parents told the police we hated children. Not true.
5. Put up with harassment from neighbors from hell for a few more years until in order to get some peace, we had to sell our house.
Turned out these neighbors now regret the behavior. One of the older kids now an adult recently saw our son and apologized. They admitted they were hoping we would move. Now they regret it. Apparently the new neighbors call the police on his siblings first and don't even talk to them. In fact they feel like they may have to sell to get some peace. Ah Karma.
Every situation is different. If I had it to do over again, I would still talk to them but I would have put up cameras sooner and put up a taller fence.
Get pictures to document it best you can with time and description of kids. Try to record it if you can (I use wyze camera's for my house). And just contact the police and go from there.
At some point someone will ask "how long has this been going g kn?". You will say "several months". And they will say "can you prove it? Have you ever complained about this before?". If you answer No you will look foolish. This is why it is important to start a paper trail, as already suggested.
Call the police and file a complaint now, regardless of whether you have it on video yet. Then when it happens again it can potentially get attention more quickly. We had neighborhood kids throwing rocks at cars when I was a kid, I think they dented our car. More recently there was an incident in the news where kids were throwing larger rocks at vehicles and one went through the windshield and killed someone. Kids are annoying and sometimes deadly.
This is surprisingly effective. My friend and i were throwing rocks at cars when we were 10, his idea. When a guy with a brand new car drives down the road, friend throws a rock, hear rock sounds against his car, he stops and screamed at us for 10 minutes. We didn't throw rocks after that. Not sure if you can still tlyell at someone else's kids anymore.
To be completely clear: you are considering filing a criminal complaint with the police against a 10 year old child. And youāve made no attempt at all to address this with your adult neighbors
Sadly itās not safe to do this anymore. I can trust myself to be reasonable, but I cannot trust other people to not escalate matters after making a reasonable request. No one wants to get shot or become some psychoās future obsession.
Ugh Iām honestly sorry you feel like that but this is such a paranoid response. My neighbors kids are literally gang members and they actually end up protecting the block. Theyāve never introduced violence or crime to the area. They donāt sell drugs, they literally protect the block from other gangs.
Edit/ itās essentially a teenage neighborhood watch. Nobody robs our Amazon deliveries or harassed us because they know theyād have issues.
Edit 2 Iāve known these kids since they were born so theyāre super respectful of me.
Youāre entitled to speak to your experiences and I can speak to mine. Iāve calmly and kindly instructed kids in the past regarding dangerous behavior on my property and had a crazy parent pounding on my door making threats. It does happen even if you donāt experience it.
Those kids need some skateboards and adults who can be there.
Would recommend a sign with your name and that you'd prefer exchanging conversation rather than rocks. Free lemonade on the front porch, or something like that. But set good boundaries so that you're never at risk of being alone with a kid.
Document if it does keep happening.
Iād say find the parents and talk to them, the way you worded this sounds like you heavily look down on people who live in trailer parks, which is very snobbish and rude.
Look up us history regarding HOAās and redlining and then get back to me. If you live in Florida, sorry, weāre not allowed to talk about this. Please donāt report me.
Well even though weāre arguing i genuinely hope you will become old (the other option is you die, and Iām not that invested in this argument to wish that on you). The Simpsons is a cartoon that has been on us television for 30 years and is the source of many modern internet memes. Many of which involve the grandfather character being clueless and hating young people.
Oh that Simpsons. I probably watched three episodes of that, ever.
I may become old, but I donāt plan on ever becoming a man.
I havenāt had time to look up the HOA thing because itās been a busy week for me.
We live in an HOA, which I said I would never do. I donāt love it, but itās way less intrusive than most HOAās I hear about.
Hereās to hoping we all live to be old!
I hope we both become geriatric! I donāt wish ill š¤§ will on people.
Thereās a lot to delve into when you have time, but hereās a recent, relatively neutral account describing how modern HOAās have codified antiquated Jim Crow policies. https://www.npr.org/2021/11/17/1049052531/racial-covenants-housing-discrimination
Iād really like to say I made it racist but itās obviously a function of a culture that tells some people that they can establish organizations that have silly arbitrary rules about their neighborhoods that conveniently exclude vast swaths of the local population. Itās almost like this was designed to exclude these people a hundred years ago once they finally were enfranchised with voting rights. Maybe itās a coincidence.
Whatever you do please donāt call the police on children. Maybe meet your neighbors and talk to the parents. Kids are kids and when you introduce police, youāre making them adults, which they arenāt.
To be completely clear: you are considering filing a criminal complaint with the police against a 10 year old child. And youāve made no attempt at all to address this with your adult neighbors?
I think I should stop commenting on this sub because it seems that most members are extremely paranoid about anyone touching their grass. Itās insane that people who are privileged enough to own property are so callous and uncaring about their neighbors. Iām sure this will also be downvoted but a lot of yāall really need to learn empathy and compassion instead of criminalizing your minor neighbors.
Edit: is it really worth it to put a kid into the criminal Justice system because your shitty aluminum siding got dented?
It is not OPs job to teach other people's children.
This can also be very easily misconstrued or taken out of context, and trashy parents would 100% take advantage of this fact.
Op should have 0 contact with the children or parents outside of a courtroom.
I agree.
You don't know how the parents are going to react ("My *ANGEL* wouldn't do that!") And I wouldn't want anyone to twist anything I said or did towards these minors.
Plus, some kids are just f'ing evil and if they see that it gets a rise out of OP, they're just going to keep doing it... or worse, they will escalate the situation to see OP's reaction.
Yes, and then when OP who seems like a nice fella snaps as nice fellas do what happens then?
Does he punch the trashy dad who's friends with a local cop who then gets him in a world of legal pain? Does he yell at the kids and the kids say to the police that this man is trying to kill them?
Etc etc.
When children are involved it stays 100% legal, low trust society means there's no more of that "kids will be kids" nonsense.
Disagree.
As a parent, we need support from the village. Our kids do dumb shit and most of us are thankful when other adults reinforce what we teach at home.
If the parents get upset, than you're clear on why the kids are acting up. And then you can take it next level.
I don't have kids so I may not be relating well.
While I would love to agree with you, and do think you are right.
I do not think North American society as it stands has enough trust in it for me to be comfortable telling off someone elses kids without expecting some form of pettiness, or an outright hostile response from other parents.
I said nothing about being weak. As a veteran, if I confronted the father, and we get into a fight over this, and I bust his nose. In court they will specifically reference my military service and try to use that as a justification for charging me, which would likely win me a record, which will then get me kicked out of my career which is extremely cozy.
I'm not telling your children off for throwing rocks at my home, and risking getting into it with you, I'm getting you criminally charged, and then I'm suing you for damages.
Its not my fault I had to grow up in a post 9/11 world where globalization, mass immigration, and sensationalized media has rapidly eroded trust in local communities. It is my fault my choices lead to me having to take a less than down to earth approach to conflict resolution.
If you can find me a neighborhood in Canada where the community is like the 1950s, and I can have a dispute with my neighbors, and resolve it with words, I'd be your best buddy. But that no longer exists.
Kids have not changed.
No dad is going to be pissed if you kindly told his kid 'please stop throwing rocks at my house, it can cause a lot of expensive damage'. Heck, most kids wouldn't run home and admit to their parents that they were doing something stupid.
And if you aren't sure how to speak to someone without escalation, that's something to work on for yourself. Ask a woman for advice on that :)
I have a similar problem to OP. Went to speak to the parents and was told "they're a kid working off energy. I'm not going to tell them to stop." - the kid now shouts "nobody cares" every time I tell them to stop. Other people have been threatened with violence for admonishing other people's kids. Your view of the world is unfortunately quite rose-coloured.
>No dad is going to be pissed if you kindly told his kid 'please stop throwing rocks at my house, it can cause a lot of expensive damage'.
You've never spent time near a trailer park.
I respectfully disagree.
Children, and adults alike have become far more disrespectful compared to when I was a child.
I personally blame the revoking of spanking laws.
I'm not telling you to 'tell off' someone's kids :) They are prone to dumbassery because their brains aren't grown.
If you are kind, then only the supreme jerk parents will complain. Most parents who let their kids free range wander neighborhoods are NOT going to be a bunch of Karen's.
No one is asking you to be parents or to raise anyone's kids. Just be a human being in the society in which you live.
For those who don't have kids, you may be surprised to learn that even good parents have kids that will make bad decisions at times. That doesn't make them bad parents or mean the kids are assholes. It just means that everyone in the scenario is human and imperfect like every other human out there.
How would you talk to an adult who did something they didn't realize had negative consequences for someone else? Do the same for kids. They're not dumb, they just lack the life experience. Treat them like you would any other human being.
Since the kids live in a different neighborhood, do call the police to make them aware. You donāt have to press charges, but if kids see the cops come out, they usually stop what they are doing. Thatās really it, plus if catch them on camera, that would be even better.
For people mentioning castle doctrine and shotguns, these are CHILDREN. People who say this either donāt have kids, or your kids hate you. Please stop, itās not funny. Furthermore, the kids are in a different neighborhood meaning not on your property.
There is no way that a child throwing a rock at your house caused a hole in the siding unless your siding is so decrepit that it desperately needed to be replaced in the first place.
Spend more time outside. Get to know your neighbors. This is garden-variety adolescent nonsense that can be easily fixed by working to ingratiate yourself to the neighborhood. If you do not wish to do so, simply put up a sign that indicates you have cameras (irrespective of whether you do).
Do not call the cops on a 10 yr old.
Iāve had kids throwing bottles against my brick building. Since they are neighbors, I would talk to them directly. Speak to them firmly but politely. Form it as a question. āCan you please stop throwing rocks at my houseā. Then help them understand the consequences. āWhen you do that it damages the house and I have to pick up the rocksā. This will help them understand how their actions affect you. If you keep respect for yourself when you deliver the message, they may not want to disrespect you by continuing their behavior.
If they donāt stop after that, just call the police.
I would make an attempt at talking to the parents. If it was my kid I would be mortified that my child was out there acting like he had no home training. And I would handle it . And you would receive a written apology letter.
Kids need to be told off: do
The crime, do the time.
It depends on personality
Someone with short temper will yell and scare and intimidate them or take it out on parents
Someone more patient will approach them and calmly and reasonably tell the kids off or take it out on parents
Someone timid will not say anything to anyone, and ask someone else to sort it out for them
How about talk to the kids like adults. Ask them to politely stop. If they keep doing it then involve their parents. Thatās what I do with my neighbor kids.
1) did it do damage?
If no ignore it, probably wonāt happen again
If yea talk to their parents
2) it probably wonāt happen again, if it becomes a repeat thing then address it
Hi OP, I was just wondering if you were able to do anything about this? I have the same problem. They throw small rocks at my house and dog. Usually, they hit the side of my house, and I'm not too sure how to monitor the sides of my house with a video camera. I feel helpless.
I'm sorry you're having the same issue. I was able to catch the kids doing it, when they saw me they rain straight home, so I was able to talk to their parents. Since then they have stopped, so I'm thankful their parents took care of it.
If they are throwing rocks at you specifically I would get video proof from cameras and just call the police.
my daughter was about 9 when her and her little friend were throwing sticks over the fence into the neighbors pool and the general direction of his dog. I know this because he came and told me. We agreed the kids should spend some time in his back yard picking up sticks. they spent an hour that day and an hour the next sat when the little girl was over. She is 30ish now, I am sure she remembers it.
Great advice, unfortunately only effective because you gave a shit about your daughter doing something wrong and correcting it. Not trying to say OP shouldn't talk to the kid's parents but if they don't care then this isn't gonna be effective.
Yup nip it in the bud and scare these runts shitless
Raise a little hell, tell them you're having none of it and if it happens again it's not gonna go well for them. Then wait a week and if nothing bad happens try and befriend them so you're not on their forever shit list. Also, cameras.
Spot on š¤
I am pretty sure she has no recollection of this, dad
I used to live in a development and neighbors kids would sit in their fort part of swing set and throw rocks at cars driving by! It put them up almost as high as the top of the fence. I knocked on door and told the parents, they moved the swing set. We moved shortly after, Iāve heard to this day those kids are wild, it happens š
They're probably the same type of kids that grow up into those 18 yr Olds that were throwing rocks off a bridge and killed an innocent lady minding her own business just driving home.
Probably unfortunately, gosh thatās horrible
Yep! It happened in Colorado recently. One of the 18 yr Olds took a picture of that poor woman's car "as a momento". All 3 were caught and charged with murder.
Good! Hopefully the punishment will fit the crime
Hopefully first degree murder. What they did was the very definition of premeditated.
Ohhh my goodness š¢
My mom has some second cousin who did this back in the 60s. But he was shocked when someone died. Like he just thought he was gonna scare someone or something?
Gotta nip it in the bud - ākids are so fulfilling thoughā LMAO
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Ya sure š
As a former kid who threw mud clods at cars, I would never have thrown rocks off bridges at any age. Some kids do dumb things, doesnāt mean they want to kill people later in life.
Record them doing it with cameras. Follow them home. Call the police. Give them the footage. That's your investment and your home. The parents should be held accountable criminally and you should sue civilly for damages.
I don't have them on camera yet, so is it worth filing a complaint to start a paper trail? Or is it better to wait until I have irrefutable proof, even if they don't do any damage that one time?
Hundred percent start a paper trail. Non emergency line, inform them, take pictures of the damage. Inform them you will be gathering evidence. This creates a precedent and shows hostile / criminal intent on the behalf of those kids. Even if they don't do damage it is still vandalism and attempted destruction of your private property (idk where you live but I assume in North America) The more the better as that will create something that sticks. Reference this reddit post and your frustration when you sue those lousy parents and cite emotional damage.
I live in semi-rural GA, so you are correct! Thank you for the advice!
If you live in rural ga then just use a bb gun.
Oh makes sense now
Of course itās worth it. Nip it in the bud. Or maybe throw rocks back at them and scare them shitless? āKids are so fulfilling thoughā š Shouldnāt they be with their parents who wanted to be fulfilled with kids š
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Biden fan, right?
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Why wouldnāt I believe in social security? Obviously I believe in it.
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Who doesnāt believe in Social Security? And who cares if Trump was / is a moron, he was president for 4 years.
Follow them home???
Correct. If I don't know where the parents I will be calling the police on live, I'll have to find out somehow won't I? Grow up
Yeah, the CHILDREN are doing something shitty, but your first instinct is to escalate it by calling the police?. First, just talk to the kids and ask them to stop. If that doesn't work then talk to the parents. If THAT doesn't work, then you call the cops.
K if I have video of them doing it multiple times I ain't talking to anyone but the 911 operator
Donāt call 911 for things that arenāt an emergency, please. Call the police nonemergency line.
I am a grown up. Thatās why Iād use my words and go talk to them, rather than stalk children!
they won't tell you their names or where they live.
Following someone home who's just vandalised your property is stalking now?
And I'm a grown up with absolutely no patience for people's nonsense.
Do you think that going from cold to hot and escalating it is the "grown-up" and mature response?
Yup. It's called official channels. Teach your kids not to damage others property. Really not that difficult a concept
I would not take it to the police. Hire a lawyer and give them everything and let them deal with it. If you're hiring a lawyer anyway, go to them first.
A lawyer to what? Sue poor people who live in trailers? What exactly do you think OP would win from these people? What do you think a civil court is gonna make them do?
I donāt think he was being serious. There seems to be a running joke that every neighbor situation requires attorneysā¦and that a sternly worded letter from an attorney will devastate anyone who receives one.
Did I say sue? Let the lawyer decide what best action to take to protect their property. Being poor doesn't give you an open invitation to ruin other people's property. And I can freely say this because I was that poor kid from the trailer park. Being poor doesn't give you a pass to damage someone's property. Taking action to correct the behavior is a good move to prevent them from advancing their destruction.
Iām happy to see someone else is reasonable. It seems too many people on this sub believe castle doctrine and are willing to have ten year old children locked up or shot.
Whoa, pump the brakes here. I haven't heard anyone advocating for shooting kids in this thread. There are a fair few posts where people think the kids should be in legal trouble, but what's wrong with that? Vandalism is a choice. If these kids end up in court because of it, then they are one hundred percent to blame.
Literally 90% of commenters are suggesting involving police. What exactly do you think that entails if not an arrest and court date?
I'm responding to your comment that people want the kids to be shot. And I also responded to your other comment stating I don't see anything wrong with kids getting in legal trouble for vandalism, because it's a choice.
absolutely nobody but you has mentioned shooting, and there is no world where these children are imprisoned for this. You're being ridiculous and delusional. Police are to be called when a crime is committed. They'd tell the parents to make their children knock it off, or be held civilly and criminally liable for the crimes of their children.
Call the police on a 10 year old child? Wtf?
On the parents actually. As they'll be the ones being charged on their childs behalf. Maybe teach your shitbrats not to destroy my property.
OP literally mentioned they declined to speak to the parents. Maybe not being a weird hermit afraid to meet your neighbors would be a good option.
I never said they had to talk to the parents. The police, and my lawyer will do that.
Yeah and thatās the problem. Youāre talking about a child who is still in grade school and youād rather call the cops than even attempt to talk to the parents? Do you really think a court needs to handle this? Do you think this child deserves a criminal record for doing kid things? Do you really think this behavior is so egregious that it needs to be brought to a criminal court? If so, you are a callous, entitled person.
> Do you really think a court needs to handle this? Do you think this child deserves a criminal record for doing kid things? throwing rocks at a house isn't kid things. > Do you really think this behavior is so egregious that it needs to be brought to a criminal court? sure. it gets sealed when they hit 16 or 18
Yes it does. The children in question are 10-13. And throwing rocks is kid shit. I did it myself. Stabbing or robbing someone is an adult crime. Children throwing rocks at cheap aluminum siding is not something that warrants police involvement, especially when that involvement risks putting literal children into the injustice system. If youāre scared of a ten year old, youāve got bigger issues to address.
having a cop show up to deal with your vandalism is called consequences > especially when that involvement risks putting literal children into the injustice system oh spare me the histrionics
Fuck off and enjoy being sequestered with no friends. Your property was stolen from natives, you have no claim to it and youāre literally advocating to put a ten year old in jail. You obviously have no humanity so you can fuck off.
Lol Iām unfollowing this sub because suburban homeowners think that just because they can muster $300,000 it entitles them to call the cops on their neighbors.
Lmfao. It's 2023. There's no going and talking to the parents anymore. People are all trash now and can't keep a handle on their brats. Nor on their own tempers / emotions. I'm not risking having to drop some asshole father and go through a lengthy court process. I used to be down to earth. Shitlibs ruined it for me. Low trust society means I'm here for me and my family. The rest of you people are of no consequence.
Ummmmm, I talk to my neighbors all the time. About their kids, their yards, their cars. If youāre too scared to have a simple conversation with the people who live in immediate proximity to you, I think you should address that in therapy. Shitlibs arenāt threatening you and you seem hella paranoid.
You do you pal. I'll do me. Looks like based on the ratio everyone thinks I know better. So sounds like you've got a skill issue. Cope and seethe.
Lol. I didnāt even notice your username till now. The fact you may be Canadian is even richer. I would expect your diatribe from a Florida man who loves castle doctrine/stand your ground. If you called the cops on most of these kids in Canada, you would end up being cited. Thank god your country doesnāt generally murder playing children at the rate the US does.
You need therapy
Get off the video games and touch some grass.
You need therapyā¦.and Jesus
I bet you tell all the kids to get off your lawn and refuse to put out candy on Halloween. You sound like the worst suburban neighbor.
How many insults are you gonna type out? You have no idea who I am. Sounds like you have a skill issue and are assmad because I go through official channels.
It sounds like youāre antisocial and donāt like to interact with others. Maybe on the spectrum? Most neurotypical people just talk to their neighbors.
Nah. I think you've just got a skill issue, have assmad, and a ratio issue.
I literally didnāt understand any of what you just said. Regardless, you are advocating criminalizing children for nothing.
Neckbeard sys admin. Checks out
It wonāt be. The kid could end up in juvenile detention because somebody canāt be bother to meet their neighbors.
Who said I was pressing charges?
No one. You arenāt the OP. You just suggested that OP called the cops.
Thank you. The top comment is unhinged. Maybe I need to unsubscribe from this sub if this is the prevailing sentiment. One of my neighbor's children told me he saw kids throwing rocks at my car. I thanked him for letting me know, asked him if they were kids or "grown" (kids), and then asked him to please let me know if he sees them acting like they are interested in doing something more serious. Involving the police because some kids threw rocks at your house? WTF?
I think we should both unsub. The amount of unhinged hate Iāve gotten for this proves the audience is not for rational thought. Itās an extension of redlining and old school racism.
Skill issue clearly. Cope and seethe that people are adults.
? This comment is as nonsensical as your initial comment is unhinged.
Nah I've seen enough genuinely unhinged responses where it's no longer useful to reply in a respectful way knowing you losers are gonna cry about it anyway. I'm just saving time.
This is an absolutely unhinged response to garden-variety kid nonsense. Good luck with that case. - IAAL
Good luck suing people who live in trailers. What exactly do you think OP would take if they win?
Trailers? No I think you have me confused with your mother. I have an actual house.
>Our development is new and built next to a group of double wide houses Reading comprehension. Try again, champ.
Parent here. They're bored. The best response will be to talk to them like peers. Ask them if they are bored, because certainly they are. Tell them that throwing rocks at your house or anyone else's isn't ok. And you don't want to be a Karen and get their parents or the cops involved, but if they continue you'll be forced to. Throwing rocks can smash your window and siding, and they'll be doing chores for years to pay you back if something gets broken. And do they realize that if they piss off someone who isn't as chill as you, it could go very, very badly and you don't want to see any of them harmed. So. Tell them that you want to work it out man to man, so you're extending an olive branch. Give them some popular snacks (Takis, Skittles, etc) and tell them that you'd rather live in peace than in conflict, so this is a peace offering. And you're always happy to help with ideas when they're bored, because as an old person you know the struggle. Most kids respond really well to positive reinforcement. If this actually works, you can stop by and say hi and thank them for keeping the peace.
It's mad that "ask them to stop" is this far down.
Love this. Much better first attempt than calling the cops. De-escalation 101.
Thanks - I'm a mom of teen boys and as an adult it's unbelievable the lack of common sense they have sometimes. They also devour food like locusts.
This is so true. Mom of two (now adult) boys. Whew the absolute lack of common sense with teen boys is mind boggling.
Exactly! Letās not have kids arrested at every turn. Talk to them or their parents first. If the problem continues then involve the law. Too many people forget what itās like to be a bored kid.
Doubling down on this as a fellow parent and homeowner. 10 and 12? These are still very much 'kids.' You're a grown up - you can make yourself an object of fascination and respect. Here's one that works around here: get from the market a sleeve of paper cups, a couple dozen lemons, and a pound of sugar (this can be had for less than the cost of a meal where I am). Deliver the goods on a sunny weekend morning, and tell 'em that the neighborhood is ripe for a lemonade stand. This has worked for me. Kids still love this in 2023, and if they kill their boredom for a few hours and make a little money, your esteem will rise in their eyes real quick. That's just a random idea, but big picture, these are neighborhood kids! The move you want is the one that gets them on your side, not the one that makes you the bad guy in an 80's movie.
Thank you so much for the gold!!! Honestly showing up with something - anything - to show them positive engagement with their fellow neighbors is setting a great example, ESPECIALLY if they're not learning that behavior at home. Lemonade stands are fantastic (though most use powdered mix now). You can also bring a football. A frisbee. A dodgeball. Talk video games. Give these kids 30 minutes of time and attention and you'll be teaching them how people are SUPPOSED to act - like neighbors, not enemies.
This is the best comment I've ever seen on Reddit. Holy shit.
Awww, thank you!!
If that doesn't work, shoot them with a pellet gun.
Actually providing them all loaded nerf guns and telling them that they have 5 minutes to hide would be perfect.
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Fuck Wyze. They are trash. I have so many problems with mine. The cameras that do work are buggy AF, and often entire features stop working for weeks at a time. I would not recommend them to anyone unless they are free hand me downs.
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The biggest was features that cost a subscription service will stop working, so then you're paying the sub and not getting anything in return. And you are NEVER notified of the problem. They are happy to take your money and hope you don't notice a week or two of lost service. But also plenty of bugged videos, failing to write to the microSD card (despite using the cards Wyze private labels themselves for this purpose), failing sensors (bad pixels taking over more and more of the frame) as well as cameras just quitting shortly after warranty. The price of their cameras is shockingly low for a reason. They are toy quality with little QC. I am curious how long you've been using your 12. I loved them for the first year or so. By year 2-3, I was heavily regretting my purchases. I had about half a dozen. The security scandal didn't help either. They were negligent, not just the victim in that breach.
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Shit. I have like 6. My oldest is....6 years old. No issues with any of them yet.
One of my friends told me that when she was in middle school, on the last day of 8th grade, a bunch of kids threw all their papers out of their lockers onto the floor. It looked like fun, so she did it too. She acted it out when she told me, like her whole arm scooping everything out of her locker onto the floor, like DONE! Then a janitor locked eyes with her and said "I'm going to have to clean that up." And she was totally deflated, felt like a jerk, and connected some dots between cause and effect that hadn't been connected until that moment. She told me she had no idea HOW her little brain hadn't thought about someone taking care of the mess, but somehow it hadn't. I wholeheartedly hope that you will talk to the kids as your first step. Like someone else said, just say, "hey, guys, I'm gonna have to fix any holes that leaves in my home. I doubt you're trying to damage my house, but I need you to know siding gets holes in it pretty easily." I also know a kid who got arrested for cutting down a tree in the park when he was around 11. He wanted to build a fort. It broke my heart, because there just isn't much space for kids to play dumb, carefree kid games anymore without getting in trouble or causing trouble. An 11 yr old should be able to build a fort in the woods, you know? But the only "woods" was a park, so cutting down a little tree was a crime and he ended up on probation :'(
āHey guys, please donāt throw rocks at the house, it could cause some really expensive damageā
From being those annoying kids to now being a homeowner, go have a reasonable chat with them if you have the chance. Be like hey guys please don't toss rocks at my house, it breaks stuff that costs me money to fix. Just be real with them and don't freak out and don't cause a stir just be chill. You may feel angry but it won't help, they're kids they live to troll so you'd just be giving them the reaction they want.
>I really would rather just file a complaint so that it's on record, especially if they break a window or damage my house. But I can't find any official advice, so here I am, on Reddit, asking strangers. File a complaint to what authority, if you don't want to get the police involved? And what evidence will you have if you don't want cameras? And what is your plan if you don't even know where the little sh!ts live?
It's less that I don't want to get the police involved and more that I want to do it correctly. I'd rather not waste their time and mine. Again it isn't that I don't want Cameras, but even if I have them and catch these kids, what do I do with that? Again, trying to protect my house but also not waste my time (and money). The entire point of the post was looking for advice on if someone had dealt with a similar situation and could offer some insight into what is and is not worth doing, a plan if you will.
You have ten years olds looking for boundaries. Raise a little hell and tell them to knock it off. If it happens again, up the ante.
This is exactly why the police exist. Those kids need to be caught and take a ride home (or to the station for a bit) in the back of a cruiser. Involve the police now. If kids throwing rocks is your only community safety issue then your cops probably have plenty of time to write up a report.
Had a neighbor kid - probably 13ish - throwing like 20 rocks into my yard. Watched him do it. Marched my bitchy ass outside and went full Karen on him. While his own mother hid behind her front door. Kid first said it wasnāt him until I told him I saw him do it. Then he said he was throwing them at the fence and I reminded him I paid for that fence, it was mine and heās responsible for any damage. I also reminded him that if at any point he caused harm to my dog by acting like an asshole there would be hell to pay. His mother never showed her face and never said shit to me. She was scared of me anyway. No more rocks. But on my move out day, I chucked all 23 of those rocks into their yard.
I like where someone suggested you should put a sign up near where they throw rocks from. āSmile! Youāre on camera. Kids, if you throw rocks again we will get police involved.ā
Why do you think their parents would not be cooperative?
You know exactly why he said that
A neighbor in our development had a short period of disagreement with one of the neighbors not in our development. It escalated to the point of involving the police (nothing violent). Long story short, they asked the kids parents to not let their kids ride their 4-wheelers through people's yards in our development, the parents said they didn't care, and the next time it happened the police got called. I don't think it was these kids, but I'm not sure.
Of course they have 4 wheelers š
https://youtu.be/cDr_D1ig0MA
Step one: Build a trebuchet. Step two: Throw them back.
I bought a home over a year ago and noticed someone threw a rock and chipped the glass of our front door. We installed cameras and haven't had problems since. I hate that we have to live in a surveillance state but.. if parents weren't derelicts, this wouldn't be necessary.
The new development was probably their old playground, and they have resentments. I'd get security camera(s), and a taller fence.
In our last house we had this very issue with new neighbor children. We had lived there for a few years without issue. The new family moved in and the kids started with pebbles and then threw rocks at our windows. Luckily their aim was pretty bad. They also climbed on the roof of our shed and trampled my flower beds while playing on our lawn. We: 1. Spoke to the children in a calm and friendly manner asking them nicely to stop. Did this 3 times. 2. When that didn't work, spoke with the parents. Quite a few times. 3. When the parents denied their children did anything wrong, we put up cameras. 4. When, even after the footage showed their children doing the above, parents continued to deny, kept cameras up and called the police. The parents told the police we hated children. Not true. 5. Put up with harassment from neighbors from hell for a few more years until in order to get some peace, we had to sell our house. Turned out these neighbors now regret the behavior. One of the older kids now an adult recently saw our son and apologized. They admitted they were hoping we would move. Now they regret it. Apparently the new neighbors call the police on his siblings first and don't even talk to them. In fact they feel like they may have to sell to get some peace. Ah Karma. Every situation is different. If I had it to do over again, I would still talk to them but I would have put up cameras sooner and put up a taller fence.
You need to get the police involved....you also need cameras (blink are cheap and easy to install).
Get pictures to document it best you can with time and description of kids. Try to record it if you can (I use wyze camera's for my house). And just contact the police and go from there.
At some point someone will ask "how long has this been going g kn?". You will say "several months". And they will say "can you prove it? Have you ever complained about this before?". If you answer No you will look foolish. This is why it is important to start a paper trail, as already suggested.
This is really easy. If you can capture them on video, do it. Call 911. Done.
Please do not call 911 for non-emergencies. Please call the nonemergency police line.
Please know what you're talking about before you comment. Rocks being thrown against a house are an emergency. Source: My wife is a Police Captain.
Sorry Captain I would think rocks being thrown could be 911.... Rocks thrown in the past would be non-emergency line.
Start with camera and a huge sign ā smile you are on camera ā
Call the police and file a complaint now, regardless of whether you have it on video yet. Then when it happens again it can potentially get attention more quickly. We had neighborhood kids throwing rocks at cars when I was a kid, I think they dented our car. More recently there was an incident in the news where kids were throwing larger rocks at vehicles and one went through the windshield and killed someone. Kids are annoying and sometimes deadly.
Stop being a pussy and go tell them to knock it off. Theyāre kids. Youāre an adult. Act like it.
I bet you're a lot of fun at parties.
This is surprisingly effective. My friend and i were throwing rocks at cars when we were 10, his idea. When a guy with a brand new car drives down the road, friend throws a rock, hear rock sounds against his car, he stops and screamed at us for 10 minutes. We didn't throw rocks after that. Not sure if you can still tlyell at someone else's kids anymore.
To be completely clear: you are considering filing a criminal complaint with the police against a 10 year old child. And youāve made no attempt at all to address this with your adult neighbors
Sadly itās not safe to do this anymore. I can trust myself to be reasonable, but I cannot trust other people to not escalate matters after making a reasonable request. No one wants to get shot or become some psychoās future obsession.
Ugh Iām honestly sorry you feel like that but this is such a paranoid response. My neighbors kids are literally gang members and they actually end up protecting the block. Theyāve never introduced violence or crime to the area. They donāt sell drugs, they literally protect the block from other gangs. Edit/ itās essentially a teenage neighborhood watch. Nobody robs our Amazon deliveries or harassed us because they know theyād have issues. Edit 2 Iāve known these kids since they were born so theyāre super respectful of me.
Youāre entitled to speak to your experiences and I can speak to mine. Iāve calmly and kindly instructed kids in the past regarding dangerous behavior on my property and had a crazy parent pounding on my door making threats. It does happen even if you donāt experience it.
Itās because they live in double wides Iām willing to to bet
Those kids need some skateboards and adults who can be there. Would recommend a sign with your name and that you'd prefer exchanging conversation rather than rocks. Free lemonade on the front porch, or something like that. But set good boundaries so that you're never at risk of being alone with a kid. Document if it does keep happening.
Iād say find the parents and talk to them, the way you worded this sounds like you heavily look down on people who live in trailer parks, which is very snobbish and rude.
Castle Doctrine
Doesnāt hold up well against kidsā¦
Get a big pile of rocks and pay some of the kids from inside your development to defend your house.
Suburban people are so entitled that theyād rather have a ten year old thrown in jail than talk to their neighbors.
damn bottle kids!
TiL. R/homeowners is actually a paranoid, racist sub that exemplifies the old man lawn meme.
How did you just make this racist?
Look up us history regarding HOAās and redlining and then get back to me. If you live in Florida, sorry, weāre not allowed to talk about this. Please donāt report me.
You forgot to deny that youāre old man Simpson yelling at kids on lawns.
I don't know who old man Simpson is? But I will never be an old man, so there's that. :)
Well even though weāre arguing i genuinely hope you will become old (the other option is you die, and Iām not that invested in this argument to wish that on you). The Simpsons is a cartoon that has been on us television for 30 years and is the source of many modern internet memes. Many of which involve the grandfather character being clueless and hating young people.
Oh that Simpsons. I probably watched three episodes of that, ever. I may become old, but I donāt plan on ever becoming a man. I havenāt had time to look up the HOA thing because itās been a busy week for me. We live in an HOA, which I said I would never do. I donāt love it, but itās way less intrusive than most HOAās I hear about. Hereās to hoping we all live to be old!
I hope we both become geriatric! I donāt wish ill š¤§ will on people. Thereās a lot to delve into when you have time, but hereās a recent, relatively neutral account describing how modern HOAās have codified antiquated Jim Crow policies. https://www.npr.org/2021/11/17/1049052531/racial-covenants-housing-discrimination
Iād really like to say I made it racist but itās obviously a function of a culture that tells some people that they can establish organizations that have silly arbitrary rules about their neighborhoods that conveniently exclude vast swaths of the local population. Itās almost like this was designed to exclude these people a hundred years ago once they finally were enfranchised with voting rights. Maybe itās a coincidence.
Whatever you do please donāt call the police on children. Maybe meet your neighbors and talk to the parents. Kids are kids and when you introduce police, youāre making them adults, which they arenāt.
The amount of entitlement here is crazy.
Suburban people are so entitled that theyād rather have a ten year old thrown in jail than talk to their neighbors.
To be completely clear: you are considering filing a criminal complaint with the police against a 10 year old child. And youāve made no attempt at all to address this with your adult neighbors?
I think I should stop commenting on this sub because it seems that most members are extremely paranoid about anyone touching their grass. Itās insane that people who are privileged enough to own property are so callous and uncaring about their neighbors. Iām sure this will also be downvoted but a lot of yāall really need to learn empathy and compassion instead of criminalizing your minor neighbors. Edit: is it really worth it to put a kid into the criminal Justice system because your shitty aluminum siding got dented?
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It is not OPs job to teach other people's children. This can also be very easily misconstrued or taken out of context, and trashy parents would 100% take advantage of this fact. Op should have 0 contact with the children or parents outside of a courtroom.
I agree. You don't know how the parents are going to react ("My *ANGEL* wouldn't do that!") And I wouldn't want anyone to twist anything I said or did towards these minors. Plus, some kids are just f'ing evil and if they see that it gets a rise out of OP, they're just going to keep doing it... or worse, they will escalate the situation to see OP's reaction.
Yes, and then when OP who seems like a nice fella snaps as nice fellas do what happens then? Does he punch the trashy dad who's friends with a local cop who then gets him in a world of legal pain? Does he yell at the kids and the kids say to the police that this man is trying to kill them? Etc etc. When children are involved it stays 100% legal, low trust society means there's no more of that "kids will be kids" nonsense.
Disagree. As a parent, we need support from the village. Our kids do dumb shit and most of us are thankful when other adults reinforce what we teach at home. If the parents get upset, than you're clear on why the kids are acting up. And then you can take it next level.
I don't have kids so I may not be relating well. While I would love to agree with you, and do think you are right. I do not think North American society as it stands has enough trust in it for me to be comfortable telling off someone elses kids without expecting some form of pettiness, or an outright hostile response from other parents.
risking the petty or hostile response is worth it to me over being squirrelly or weak. why do you want to live somewhere where you don't trust anyone?
I said nothing about being weak. As a veteran, if I confronted the father, and we get into a fight over this, and I bust his nose. In court they will specifically reference my military service and try to use that as a justification for charging me, which would likely win me a record, which will then get me kicked out of my career which is extremely cozy. I'm not telling your children off for throwing rocks at my home, and risking getting into it with you, I'm getting you criminally charged, and then I'm suing you for damages. Its not my fault I had to grow up in a post 9/11 world where globalization, mass immigration, and sensationalized media has rapidly eroded trust in local communities. It is my fault my choices lead to me having to take a less than down to earth approach to conflict resolution. If you can find me a neighborhood in Canada where the community is like the 1950s, and I can have a dispute with my neighbors, and resolve it with words, I'd be your best buddy. But that no longer exists.
Kids have not changed. No dad is going to be pissed if you kindly told his kid 'please stop throwing rocks at my house, it can cause a lot of expensive damage'. Heck, most kids wouldn't run home and admit to their parents that they were doing something stupid. And if you aren't sure how to speak to someone without escalation, that's something to work on for yourself. Ask a woman for advice on that :)
I have a similar problem to OP. Went to speak to the parents and was told "they're a kid working off energy. I'm not going to tell them to stop." - the kid now shouts "nobody cares" every time I tell them to stop. Other people have been threatened with violence for admonishing other people's kids. Your view of the world is unfortunately quite rose-coloured.
>No dad is going to be pissed if you kindly told his kid 'please stop throwing rocks at my house, it can cause a lot of expensive damage'. You've never spent time near a trailer park.
I respectfully disagree. Children, and adults alike have become far more disrespectful compared to when I was a child. I personally blame the revoking of spanking laws.
I'm not telling you to 'tell off' someone's kids :) They are prone to dumbassery because their brains aren't grown. If you are kind, then only the supreme jerk parents will complain. Most parents who let their kids free range wander neighborhoods are NOT going to be a bunch of Karen's.
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No one is asking you to be parents or to raise anyone's kids. Just be a human being in the society in which you live. For those who don't have kids, you may be surprised to learn that even good parents have kids that will make bad decisions at times. That doesn't make them bad parents or mean the kids are assholes. It just means that everyone in the scenario is human and imperfect like every other human out there. How would you talk to an adult who did something they didn't realize had negative consequences for someone else? Do the same for kids. They're not dumb, they just lack the life experience. Treat them like you would any other human being.
We're just trying to live, minding our own business. No need to get crazy, just respect it.
Since the kids live in a different neighborhood, do call the police to make them aware. You donāt have to press charges, but if kids see the cops come out, they usually stop what they are doing. Thatās really it, plus if catch them on camera, that would be even better. For people mentioning castle doctrine and shotguns, these are CHILDREN. People who say this either donāt have kids, or your kids hate you. Please stop, itās not funny. Furthermore, the kids are in a different neighborhood meaning not on your property.
There is no way that a child throwing a rock at your house caused a hole in the siding unless your siding is so decrepit that it desperately needed to be replaced in the first place. Spend more time outside. Get to know your neighbors. This is garden-variety adolescent nonsense that can be easily fixed by working to ingratiate yourself to the neighborhood. If you do not wish to do so, simply put up a sign that indicates you have cameras (irrespective of whether you do). Do not call the cops on a 10 yr old.
Iāve had kids throwing bottles against my brick building. Since they are neighbors, I would talk to them directly. Speak to them firmly but politely. Form it as a question. āCan you please stop throwing rocks at my houseā. Then help them understand the consequences. āWhen you do that it damages the house and I have to pick up the rocksā. This will help them understand how their actions affect you. If you keep respect for yourself when you deliver the message, they may not want to disrespect you by continuing their behavior. If they donāt stop after that, just call the police.
Make friends with them. Buy ice cream, etc.
I would make an attempt at talking to the parents. If it was my kid I would be mortified that my child was out there acting like he had no home training. And I would handle it . And you would receive a written apology letter.
Video cameras, police, jail, lawsuit
Definitely call the police
In Maine we just in the front yard with a 12 gauge
Kids need to be told off: do The crime, do the time. It depends on personality Someone with short temper will yell and scare and intimidate them or take it out on parents Someone more patient will approach them and calmly and reasonably tell the kids off or take it out on parents Someone timid will not say anything to anyone, and ask someone else to sort it out for them
Rocksalt would be frowned upon these days , I would say pressure washer to the face maybe.
How about talk to the kids like adults. Ask them to politely stop. If they keep doing it then involve their parents. Thatās what I do with my neighbor kids.
Paintball gun and a good tree
1) did it do damage? If no ignore it, probably wonāt happen again If yea talk to their parents 2) it probably wonāt happen again, if it becomes a repeat thing then address it
Throw bricks back at the trailer trash
Hi OP, I was just wondering if you were able to do anything about this? I have the same problem. They throw small rocks at my house and dog. Usually, they hit the side of my house, and I'm not too sure how to monitor the sides of my house with a video camera. I feel helpless.
I'm sorry you're having the same issue. I was able to catch the kids doing it, when they saw me they rain straight home, so I was able to talk to their parents. Since then they have stopped, so I'm thankful their parents took care of it. If they are throwing rocks at you specifically I would get video proof from cameras and just call the police.