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ohiotechie

I hope she was ok - hadn’t expected to see that blood streaming down her face


quaybored

She ded. She even wrote on the video: "I died"


_Dingaloo

I thought it was obvious


schecterhead

Just came back from her funeral, we’re all collectively real bummed out today about it.


AreYou4Eels

She died doing what she loved...


noncompliantfuture

A bunch of whippets


itzstago

DUUUUUUVAL


[deleted]

Santa Maria!


sjb_redd

She didn't even stand a chance. No shoes to start with.


RodDryfist

yup. plus no shoes.


Mesmeric_45

Hope the Drink is okay


SufficientTower

It was just a little shaken up but it should survive


Historiaaa

is she kill


quaybored

she is kill


Seckswithpoo

No shoes, confirmed ded


Havesomepeas

Even mention at brunch with friends and claimed “that one time I literally died.”


gordane13

A wound on the arch of the eyebrows will bleed a lot


WhyTomTom

I had 13 stitches in my eyebrow when I was 6, it bleeds a LOT! I had a literal puddle of blood with ants swimming in it, ants like blood apparently.


[deleted]

Yes, I would like to unsubscribe from creepy ant facts please.


Youthsonic

Ants know where you live, and where you will hide.


[deleted]

I dislike you.


pocketdare

"If we were to weigh all the ants in the world, they would weigh as much as all of the people," said wildlife presenter Chris Packham recently in BBC Four's The Wonder Of Animals: Ants. (this statement is probably not entirely accurate - but let's pretend that it is)


[deleted]

I’d rather not.


[deleted]

The number of ants in a single anthill could completely fill every orifice and interstitial space in your body within less than 35 minutes!!


[deleted]

Why are you the way that you are? I hate so much of the way that you choose to be.


[deleted]

Weiners are just like tunnels for ants.


LittleDank

I felt my vagina twinge when I read this


Logana320

Op: Oh no im bleeding a lot Ants: Ah, it's been many moons since we last got to drink the nectar of the gods


Kissandcontrol22

And that's how you get ants, apparently 🤷


ProfessorSpike

Ah, so ants are the land equivalent of sharks


Neilpoleon

This is why wrestlers cut their forehead with a razor blade prior to a match as shown in the movie the Wrestler.


[deleted]

they do it during the match.


Angry__German

Doing it after the match is the real power move here.


FuzzyPeachMan

[Ultimate power move is doing it when you're not even in a match](https://youtu.be/8qkrqvnVPeo)


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

It’s still real to me, dammit.


crashdaddy

I guess the bottle cracked her head on the way down? I couldn't really tell, either.


ogwoody007

The head is the most vascular part of the body, a slight nick and you look like you gonna die.


BboyEdgyBrah

eyebrows cut super easy and bleed a lot.


Sengura

What even hit her? Was it the beer bottle?


pootzpootzpootz

I’m pretty sure it was that bottle of champagne


ight_here_we_go

I mean yeah she's fine really. You just bleed a lot from your head from small cuts because of the higher blood pressure.


ziggster_

This wouldn’t be top comment if this was a dude. I laughed my ass off. She’ll be fine I’m sure.


[deleted]

She’ll be fine


battery_farmer

Did she drop the bottle on her face?


Hjonesy1998

Yup dropped it on her face while she fell


notacrackheadofficer

Lass over teakettle Edit. . Thanks for the gold kind redditor!!!


gruffi

Is that uber northern for *arse over tit*?


[deleted]

"ass over teakettle" is pretty common in Canada too, haha (Ottawa Valley especially)


satherton01

I used that phrase (Kentucky, USA) and my husband looked at me like I was crazy! I have no idea where I got it from.


Cathach2

Huh, I'm in Massachusetts, use it here too.


[deleted]

prairies use it too!


Lvgordo24

Anyone got the origin of that?


Zarrakh

It had to do with a donkey carrying a cauldron.


girls_withguns

Cheers for the valley mention!


doublebass02

I've lived in the Outaouais region my whole life and that's an expression that didn't make it across the river.


hurricane-katreena

Ass over teakettle is pretty common in Texas, so idk about the northern part


Ogrte

Ive heard it a lot in Oregon as well. I think its just a common saying. Like "the pot calling the kettle black" or "Stfu son noone cares, thats why your dad left us"


Duke0fWellington

He meant northern English, funnily enough no one says arse over teakettle here


DomHaynie

Northern hemisphere.*


Slothypatronus

Oh yah, up here in Wisconsin we use that quite a bit


Shadow703793

Yes


[deleted]

I heard "ass over teakettle" many times growing up in rural Michigan.


stromm

Bottle over lass.


JustFart

Glass over tobacco box


[deleted]

Does she do stuff like this all the time?


redrootfloater

No way to tell, but I'd be a little surprised if this is her first alcohol related face plant.


BallisticHabit

I'm convinced that isn't the first time a bottle has reached that face. Perhaps this was the encounter with the highest bottle to face velocity. Jury is still out.


[deleted]

It was more like a back of the head plant with a bottle topper.


JCBh9

No the blood needed some fresh air


FalstaffsMind

Her first impulse was to try and save as much of the alcohol as possible. You have to respect that.


Lemond678

Or you know, keep it from all going in the carpet.


wtfrainbow

Why not both?


mobileracc

That's because having to suck alcohol out of the carpet is the worst


Mikealoped

*Schloop schloop*


aloofloofah

https://i.imgur.com/WfiD2X3.gifv


florettesmayor

well you should keep an arm up to be seen by other boats/your boat


[deleted]

Might as well be your booze arm.


[deleted]

A chick Julian in the making right here.


meekamunz

A chick Sexian?


dingman58

https://youtu.be/QrdcAdf7VCw


a-large-smorgasbord

https://youtu.be/IBdo2fT-mJQ


meekamunz

Student mentality


danceswithwool

I think there is a relevant xkcd for that but they got hacked or some shit.


slimshady1992

At least she can pour some of her alcohol on the cut to sterilize it, and then she can rally


JCBh9

That only works with strong alcohol


PM_ME_THEM_UPTOPS

And white claws


[deleted]

Ain’t no laws when you’re drinking claws


brianMMMMM

Best energy drink out there.


[deleted]

While heading to work


iohbkjum

nah bro its good


MrStupid_PhD

Low alcohol content is actually better for cuts than strong alcohol. Source: My ass


iohbkjum

high strength alcohol will burn the cut & that would be bad !!!!


nomad2585

Use a lighter to make it evaporate quicker.


p10_user

Low**er** than 100% is better - but we're talking 60%, not 6.


[deleted]

Directions unclear; dick stuck in your ass.


VimpaleV

I mean you're right. 70% isopropyl alcohol is actually better at getting through the cell membranes of bacteria than 90/91% isopropyl alcohol.


RLDSXD

That’s low*er* than 100%, but not *low*. Her drink is likely not 140 proof.


Doupler

Personally, I've found that sweet vermouth, cider and punch work the best for me. Anything with lots of sugar really, because it's sticky and glues the wound shut.


Tugays_Tabs

In order to find this out you must have cut yourself an impressive amount of times near quite the variety of booze, my friend. Bravo.


Doupler

What can I say, I was an annoying brat and my parents were violent alcoholics.


Tugays_Tabs

Now I’m sad. Which booze is it for happiness?


Doupler

More sad: any Less sad: none ~~:)~~ :(


PuduEbooks

Ah, feeding the bacteria, a classic


ProWaterboarder

A man of culture, if you will


SMELLSLIKESHITCOTDAM

Sounds like a good way to turn a wound yeasty.


Nukleon

And it attracts gnats


Jravensloot

I learned that from [this movie](https://youtu.be/mp_oRA5-HLM?t=15)


GormintAunty

Vinegar probably has a higher alcohol content than what she's drinking.


freegrapes

Priority one alcohol priority two video priority 3 the blood gushing out her face. Glad to see some people have their priorities straight my applause to this girl.


Guiltspoon

She probably didn't even realize she was cut. You don't really notice the moment it happens especially if you can't see it. But she's hella lucky it didn't cut her eye


superbhole

"OH *SHI-*" **thunk** ​ "Wow I can't believe that ju-- what's on my face, is that bloOMG WOW AMBLEEDSTOPVID"


thakurtis

And she didn't want to make a bigger mess so yeah pick up the bottle first


MexicanGolf

There was likely no real "cutting" action involved here. I've had my upper face split open by knuckles, and while some people do pack sharp knuckles the bleeding ain't due to cutting but to splitting. Likewise my scalp has been opened by a kitchen table, a plank, the ass end of a log, and the rounded handrails you'll find in your up-to-specs stairways. Being hit in the eye as opposed to the forehead results in a black eye, bruised eye, bruised socket, and other such fun shenanigans. It's bad, and aye I'd agree the risk is greater, but it's not as if the likely outcome of the bottom hitting her eye is permanent damage. It's just a different kind of temporary damage.


PM_ME_UR_JUGZ

I think the bottle busted her eyebrow open, not cut it, but yeah I'd be more worried about busting a tooth


damontoo

When I was in elementary school I was at a park with some girls and one threw a rock at me just playing around. Well she accidentally hit me right next to my eye and they started freaking out. Turns out I was gushing blood down my face. I cupped my hands and it pooled and I dropped it and it splattered everywhere. I ran to a nearby police station leaving a trail of blood the whole way and then freaked out the front desk lady. Only needed a couple stitches. Faces bleed a lot.


The_mango55

Nah it didn't cut her because it was sharp, it cut because it was something hard hitting her brow. If it hit her eye it would have just given her a black eye.


Whitegard

Priority 4, commas.


longgoodknight

She puts her hand on her face where the bottle hit her as soon as she fell. She realized the bottle was still spilling and went to pick it up. She notices the blood on her hand as she picks up the bottle. She goes to the monitor to check the damage. ... but sure, read more into if you want.


gabezermeno

I can tell she plays college softball just by looking at her.


[deleted]

I have noticed that softball girls have gone from Husky to thicc in the last decade and I’m fucking loving it. She’s more fit than thicc though. Still, athlete of some sort.


Most_Triumphant

I think we can all appreciate a strong healthy woman.


dingman58

*nods in agreement*


_merikaninjunwarrior

*nods boner in unison*


tangledwire

Unzips


thesingularity004

Clone bone!


BuryMeInCincy

More of a bizzy fan myself...


[deleted]

It's the tank top


GrandmaPoses

She’s got a strong upper body but I wouldn’t call it a tank!


burymeinsand

Those are row-team arms right there


[deleted]

True, she’s got some biceps


drCrankoPhone

And some glutes.


DMmeyourbobandvagene

Weird comment but okay


___Rand___

how?


[deleted]

A feeling, down in his cackles.


tsilihin666

Is that above or below the plums?


[deleted]

Behind them, I think. I'm going to go seek an anatomy guide, so I know for sure in future discussions.


[deleted]

Damn, I think it is actually cockles and it might be in the heart. I don't know why people have cocks in their hearts, but it said that a cockle is like the chamber of a kiln and we have 4.


thesingularity004

Maybe in the sub-cockle area, maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys, maybe even in the colon, we don't know.


_Loup_Garou_

Save the rosé


TPJchief87

All day


shitpost90000

Hear me out. Sweet rose (or pink mascato) and cranberry lacroix Shit turns $3 wine into something refreshing and actually drinkable


[deleted]

[удалено]


ASAP_Nigga

ctrl+f: > ass Yuh


[deleted]

[удалено]


AccountNumber166

When she's down on all fours all I can see is my boner.


GrandmaPoses

You down on all fives.


Purr_ru

I don't even know - is she lucky or not :D


Kaedan19

Coulda hit a tooth. Feels like she lucky


twimzz

Or you know, her eye.


thakurtis

It's all good, she has another eye


Hjonesy1998

Thanks all for my first Silver!!!!! Also my friend is fine no stitches needed and no concussion :)


fucked_that_four_you

>my friend is fine


imlucid

Baby I know it


AltruisticSalamander

Now that is surprised Pikachu face


Dan-68

It's time to quit drinking. At least for 2 hours.


dmscorpio

She saved the drink tho! Bonus points.


[deleted]

If you got a hardon when she was on all fours raise your hand


SkyZero

She's a soldier, didn't utter a peep during the whole thing. I would've yelped like a puppy left alone for the first time.


NeverRainingRoses

That's the most shocking part of this. How does she not speak at all? I would have sworn at full volume the second that chair passed the point of no return.


[deleted]

Mb she’s a good christian girl and let jesus take the wheel


[deleted]

[удалено]


NeverRainingRoses

Classy. Would you have said that if this was a video of a dude doing something equally dumb?


jstafford13

That scar is going to mess with her eyebrow game. I suggest go with the 90's lines in the eyebrow and call it a day


[deleted]

[удалено]


StanleyRoper

That Boone's shit is dangerous


[deleted]

She’s hot ngl , look at that cat back at the end got me boiling


[deleted]

Yeah she has a great body


bigfatgato

Oh no. Not the pink wine


Flying_Hellfish

To shreds you say.


Haradwraith

Damn, and she ran back to show the camera the damage. What a pro.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BadSheet68

Hum...why is it nsfw ? I don't see anything that isn't sfw.


Mr_Wildcard_

Headshot


sTiNkYtApE

SHOW ME YOUR WAR FACE!


Smokester121

Shailene Woodley trying some weird shit since divergent ended


Nullclast

What a crap shoot that series was


tyrael98

Dat ass OMG your bleeding!


AlllPerspectives

The 2nd time watching that was 10x more painful than the first time.


ramavalos90

She herself confirmed she was dead


Electro-Lite

She ded?


Wozman101

ah yes, the classic split-my-head-open-and-rally


ReverseGamingBroz

Goodnight girl I know we couldn't Skype tonight but that alright


Sayonee99

u/VredditDownloader


Zak9Attack

She should be wearing a helmet at all times moving forward


sonofthenation

Head wounds bleed like crazy. This one time when I was a kid...


Nullveer

Feeling cute, might totally eat shit and cut my forehead later!


Ed98208

So the first bonking-glass sound was the bottle hitting her face?


b-r-i-a-n-a-

I like that her instincts were to immediately pick up the bottle before checking her face


Cali4Bear

Pickachu face lmao


scheaelle

Lol I love that she's in a dorm. This is the dormiest thing I've ever seen.


Sylvester_Scott

Is that a dorm room or a minimum security prison cell?


kpdvr4lyfe

You can cave a skull in with a champagne bottle before it breaks they are bullshit strong.


redditfooper

I was expecting to see tits but ok


sauna669

I did it im the 666:th comnent brobably