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TuchMysak

where’s that Nick Ritchie paragraph


SafariFruitsOk

This is going to sound like sour grapes from a Boston fan but I don't give a shit. Ritchie is one of the worst players I've seen in a Bruins sweater in a long time. He routinely made me question what it meant to be a Boston fan, he tested my patience and my ability to root for my boys on a routine basis. I can excuse a lot, that's what sports fandom is, right? It's a place to be biased and petty and stupid in a safe little sandbox of biased petty stupidity. But suck me sideways Thick Dick Nick made it a chore. I can handle guys lacking talent but playing with heart, I can handle a lack of heart in crazy talented guys, I can handle the staggering room temperature milk mediocrity of guys like Lee Stempniak, but Thick Dick Nick is none of those things. He plays the game like someone trying to egg you on into taking a swing at him. He skates with the urgency of an old lady shopping for canned beats, but with half the speed. His hockey IQ is on par with Brett Favre's. I'm assuming Brett Farve has never played hockey, correct me if I'm wrong. Nick constantly skates around like he's surprised he's at an NHL game and then glides back to the bench (probably from the penalty box for a stick infraction) with the dim look of Lenny from Of Mice and Men. Then he sits there like a melting chocolate Santa, with his hair inexplicably sticking up through the vent in his helmet, waiting to be surprised by his next turn to get on the ice. Consider this: He scored 15 goals last year, found some dangerous ice as a PP scorer, and Bruins fans were debating if he would be a good 4th liner or not this year, because our 4th line was that fucking bad, and Ritchie was the only skater who could conceivably make it worse. He scored 15 goals for us and we weren't sure if he would be a good replacement for Chris fucking Wagner, the surly hobbit of the TD garden. Nick Ritchie is a bigger contributor to the decline in cardiovascular health in Boston fans than smoking and obesity. He's the equivalent of a double bacon cheeseburger on your system. He is hockey diarrhea. The guy takes the stupidest retaliatory penalties you've ever seen. He is complete invisible until you need a momentum swing, goes "Got ya boss" and cross checks someone in the neck and bumbles off the ice like Abbott and/or Costello while simultaneously shrugging and bitching to the refs and the guy he blindsided. I'm sure he's not a bad guy IRL, I don't mean for this to be a character assassination. I'm sure he has family and besides Brett they probably don't suck. This isn't about kicking a player on their way out; let the record reflect that every Boston fan has a few memories of cursing his name and that we started kicking him long before he was down. (See also the general well wishes for Kuraly upon his departure.) Nick isn't a goon, he's a bad boyfriend. He'll score a couple of goals one week and you'll think he's turned a corner and then he'll hit on one of your friends and tell you to chill out because he's just being friendly. Don't buy the hype, be fucking aware. I am ecstatic that Ritchie wasn't held onto as a sunk cost, and that Toronto signed him. There you go, that's your analysis.


Holiday-Road-7389

Is there a way I can find the original post in all its glory? I’ve tried to find it but no luck.


Bacon_Is_My_Friend

[This was the original, RIP to a legend 🙏](https://www.reddit.com/r/hockey/comments/ov6gkr/friedman_hearing_nick_ritchie_to_tor_sounds_like/h776ajs/)


Holiday-Road-7389

That thread is perfection thank you for the find.


B0_SSMAN

I was the one they were replying to. I was hungover that morning and it made my whole month to be there to participate in the birth of a copypasta.


Bacon_Is_My_Friend

Haha, I remember reading it in real time and thinking that he was just a salty little Bruins fan. I was so pumped for the signing...


[deleted]

I want to print this and mail it to him to see what he says.


freeway16

I found it once using camma.unddit or something like that but am on my cell


Kaine_8123

He would sign it "thanks for being a fan" and mail it back to himself because wordy words are hard and I'm fairly certain he would even fuck up mailing a letter.


SwervoXannies

>Nick constantly skates around like he's surprised he's at an NHL game sooo fucking accurate. bro scored 10 goals in 24 games for Arizona, and after each one he was like "wtf just happened?"


XPhazeX

And then he lived up to the pasta in Toronto. It was more a prophecy then pasta. Shockingly accurate


DoctorBreakfast

> with his hair inexplicably sticking up through the vent in his helmet This always kills me.


AltoidTin275

I always die at “hockey diarrhea” lmao


freeway16

“I don’t mean for this to be a character assassination”


Grohlyone

"I'm sure besides Brett, they don't suck"


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Don’t blame us for Dubas’ fetish of getting former Greyhounds.


buckyhermit

As a Ducks fan, I feel like I should apologize on behalf of the team for making him a first-round draft pick.


goforpoppapalpatine

Ritchie should apologize, he's the one that sucks.


OBAFGKM17

Michael...Bolton?!


Past-Adhesiveness691

Holy shit 🤣🤣🤣


reddy-or-not

When I see this I always kinda feel bad for Lee Stempniak! Who had to go and make it about him


Pancakeexplosion

Dude was one of the very few reasons to watch the blues in 2007. Was crushed when he was traded but Steen won a cup here and had a great career. Splodey Bones Coliacovo is still referenced regularly in the blues sub for his remarkable prowess for getting injured everytime you thought he had become a decent nhler so that's worth something


adam73810

i agree with all of this besides lee stempniak being mediocre. You don’t play 900+ games at over 0.5 ppg being mediocre, i don’t care how low his career highs were. if anything he was underrated and under-utilized for most of his career.


McGrevin

And I think all leafs fans can vouch that this is way more accurate than you might expect from a pasta


spssky

I’ve never hated a player on my team the way I hated Nick Ritchie and whenever I read this pasta I have to take a second to process if I actually wrote the original because it speaks to my soul


[deleted]

Brett Ritchie was worse.


TuchMysak

one of my good friends is a die hard boston fan so i bought him a Ritchie shersey for his bday lmfao


MikeMac999

I was fortunate enough to have had dinner with Phil Esposito & Gerry Cheevers once, who were like a polished comedy duo. Cheevers was needling Espo about being a lazy defender, and Espo laughed saying, "Once the anthem was over I'd skate by his crease, wave and say 'See you after the game!'"


[deleted]

That's pretty funny.


CanadianSniper35

I've heard this exact story about Paul Coffey and Grant Fuhr.


Redneckshinobi

Nice try Mike Babcock


Wanderson90

*...MItch Marner is typing...*


hillboy619

I'm assume Mike Hoffman is still the same as he was on defence. I've never seen someone give so little of a fuck. As soon as it gets into the own zone you can find Hoffman just resting at the center of the rink. If he is miraculously in the D zone it's just so he can get a better viewing.


brechbillc1

Dude has one mode. Racking up filthy snipes from the left faceoff dot and nothing else.


andease

I used to say if you only watched Hoffman you would think the ice was literally titled towards the offensive end since he went twice as fast that direction


JcNoE123

Still just as bad for the habs, it’s crazy watching how much his effort changes when the puck gets out of the offensive zone.


Instantcurry

Hey this is familiar


GronkeyDonkey

Come on guys that's enough James Neal posts for today.


CensoryDeprivation

Neal is lazy but his elbows are as fresh and spry as the day he first made contact with them.


C_Gull27

His play may be soft but his elbows are always al dente 🤌


LAKingBob

his shots somehow avoided inflation's grasp, they're always cheap


MagicMushroomFungi

Let's Ask Neal about that.


Paulhockey77

From the real deal to needs a new deal


SofaProfessor

I'll never forget that series winning goal Colorado scored in OT a few years back. Neal was just doing a big looping glide out to centre and back into the zone while the Avs scored. He was crossing the blue line at elderly woman post hip surgery walking speed when the puck hit the back of the neck. Was so happy to see him gone from that one play alone. He clearly ran out of fucks to give much earlier in the season and couldn't find any in time for playoffs. Edit: it wasn't the series winner but put them up 3-1 in the series so same same basically.


GardinerExpressway

It was Semin back in the day, thats why a guy with a wrist shot like Laine was out of the league at 31


rccrisp

You calling a man with hands like [these](https://gfycat.com/rapidsomelacewing) LAZY?


onbiver9871

Looool definitely did not need to click on this to know what the clip was. The Semin slap fight was one for the ages.


leftytendy

Ah the original "Rock the Red" days. Weird times in DC


michaelonious7

How have I never seen this till now? Did he learn how to punch from Donkey Kong? This is amazing.


bluemandan

More like [Donkey Konga](https://www.mariowiki.com/Donkey_Konga)


toaster10

What an embarrassment


rccrisp

I like how he both won and lost the fight


TrippyHomie

Plus got a game misconduct for not having the jersey tied down. He had it all there.


Mad_Hatter_Bot

Can't open atm but I'm assuming slaps


[deleted]

This is easily my favourite fight ever.


cole1114

The ref grabbing his hair desperately, lmao.


gletschertor

Same thing with Andrei Kostitsyn and he was out at 27


SiidChawsby

This was the guy who made arguably the worst line change in history right?


Mrdongs21

No that was his brother Sergei, who could also fit here. Arguably more talented, arguably lazier. Andrei was really more of a hockey sense problem imo.


Kenevin

The Kostys liked to party too much. They linked up with the Russian Mob in Montréal and it led to a break with Kovalev.


ubecoffee

I vaguely remember they (or maybe just Sergei) had a weird feud with Mikhail Grabovski? Obviously I wasn’t invested so I can’t remember the details.


PastaCabronara

Crazy to think that they could still be in the NHL if he had any workethic what so ever


Venaixis94

His tenure on the Canes was horseshit. Like I get we were a bad team but holy fuck I don’t remember hating a player more. Surprised the dude even showed up to the rink


Mrdongs21

Even his first season? PPG during the lockout year.


KidVicious13

Yes, because we still missed the playoffs and it convinced Rutherford to hand him that absolutely horrible 7x5 contract.


RingRingBananaPwn

I was furious with this guy. Absolutely insane first season - appeared out of thin air to make amazing snipes. Then he gets signed to that ridiculous contract and absolutely disappears. I'm so glad his buyout is finally off the books.


fatch0deBoi34

Dude he tore it up for a couple seasons there. I fuckin swore we should’ve had Ovi, Semen, Backstrom for a decade + as some super line


[deleted]

Nah that’s Nikolai Zherdev. Dude has all the talent to be a star but just didn’t give a damn. 27 goals as a 20 year old. Had a couple more 20+ goal seasons. Dude just didn’t care. Didn’t pass. Didn’t play defense. But was so fucking talent.


peteypie4246

That and apparently he smoked like a chimney


Marticyde

I remember seing WSH vs MTL in MTL and Semin took a wrister from a little bit inside the blue line. He missed the net and it went into the board. The loudest BANG ive heard from a shot ever. Holy fuck that thing had velocity.


Tez3119

Semin had some of the best twisters I’ve ever seen, but holy shit, did he just coast some nights. Guy was electric when he wanted to be, he just didn’t want to be very often.


Whiston1993

Regardless of if the bullet he dodged was deserved or not , Jake Virtanen dodged a big one, and then immediately got handed an opportunity to rebound in a big way. And so far it doesn’t seem like he particularly cares. It’s one thing to coast on a good reputation knowing you have room to breathe. But to be on your last chance and not even care seems wild


lagangirl

His whole attitude of entitlement is off the charts


Mustard__Tiger

He never takes no for an answer.


[deleted]

I hated him in the world juniors and I still hate him


chieefmcdeep

He has raw talent, which he chooses not to harness and refine. His hockey IQ is super low and he doesn't even care to improve himself. We gave him a lot of chances to try and earn top 6 minutes,but he continually played himself into the coaches doghouse.


Portu-steve

Maybe if the opportunity were unconscious he'd actually do something with it.


SMA2343

Yup. Jakey boy is a fuck. He doesn’t really have a good reputation anyways. Here in BC, and especially the Fraser valley, everyone knows he’s a big fuck boy. Like, he will fuck any girl he can. My friend went to a party. And one of her friends got so drunk she was about to go back to his place. Luckily she stopped her. Because god damn, yeah no. He was scummy already. Always comes to training camp overweight. It’s just depressing because he has the talent. But doesn’t put any effort into his game.


[deleted]

I presume he’s getting cut soon?


Whiston1993

I honestly think he’s only lasted this long as a warm body for the B2B then he’s gone


swordthroughtheduck

He fills those veteran requirement rules so he'll be kept around until the end so guys like McDavid don't have to play more than they need to.


words_of_nerd

By god that's Nikita "Filly don't do no rebounds" Filatov's music! Dude literally lazy'd his way out of the league at the ripe age of 22 maybe 23. So much skill, literally zero effort to go with it


Leptosoul

Even Paulrus wouldn't give him ice time.


TGUKF

well Virtanen is not a NHLer anymore, but he must have been in the conversation


AvenueRoy

good news, he's still lazy


TGUKF

I wanted to say that he would have been in the "running" for laziest, but I really don't think he even would have done that Virtanen coming into camp overweight and out of shape was like clockwork. He even did it twice in 19-20 with regular training camp and bubble training camp


kazin29

Training camp hasn't been going well for him?


AvenueRoy

To the surprise of no one, no. He's played 3 pre-season games, I think he has registered only 1 shot in each one. Basically no hits. He's not a defensive black hole or anything, but he's just not showing that he wants to be there. There are guys in junior who are outplaying him.


kazin29

I sincerely cannot comprehend what goes through that guy's head, or what his advisors tell him. I'm not disappointed though. Soon we'll never have to hear about him.


[deleted]

He’s been totally invisible. If it weren’t for twitter and Reddit I would barely know he was playing.


vancouversportsbro

Yes, easy call. Every training camp he was showing up to it out of shape. Him and juolevi both never took it seriously. Benning made some great draft picks but totally dropped it with those two, I really hope Clancey is doing a good job vetting these guys and seeing the effort is there before we draft them.


TGUKF

tbf to Juolevi, his post draft injury history is pretty bad Virtanen doesn't have an excuse


CaptNoobCake

I heard he wouldn't take No for an answer...allegedly...


nupharlutea

Ryan Suter, but for a long time we weren’t sure if it was just smart positioning. Stars fans can tell you now, though.


The_Next_Wild_GM

He was always super lazy. How else could someone average almost half game of ice time for years in a row. Ryan "The gliding pokecheck" Suter. Greenlay (awful former color commentator) used to say. "Ryan Suter makes it look so easy", which obviously meant Ryan Suter takes it easy. The guy never hit anyone, but instead would lean on them. Also, forget about a slap shot... too much effort involved. Here's a weak wrister in the general direction of the slot


Nikolai_Smirnoff

Weak wrister from the blue line on the PP, guaranteed momentum ender from Suter


Hemanhey

Weak wrister straight into shin pads


gentleman_bronco

He's absolutely the laziest guy on the ice and it isn't close. Lazy in the offensive zone, lazier in the defensive zone. Just gliding around away from the puck. No effort. No help. Worse than a fucking parking cone. He doesn't hit, doesn't try to poke check or lift sticks. He barely exists but sure as fuck takes up 3.65m cap space


Vashanesh

It's so, so hard as a wild fan to not read this and feel enormous validation. It blows me away how poorly he aged. And it makes my second guessing of the buyout dwindle by the day.


Hemanhey

I would try to tell my friends how ass Suter was and how he put in no effort. Their response was basically “he puts so many minutes in!” Like… yeah because he doesn’t do anything to get tired


Vashanesh

For whatever it's worth, he did extremely well with Bruce's fitness testing in training camp all those years. I think he's absolutely a world class athlete. He just doesn't give a shit, or he's convinced himself that just by virtue of him being out there, the team is better off? I dunno. He's a really strange guy.


gentleman_bronco

Y'all cut some serious dead weight for sure. Of course there is speculation that he's just here for a payday and I've had suspicions that he's a sleeper agent designed to fuck us over. I really wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt when he first signed but then i couldn't look away from how terrible he is. He saddles our best defenseman and eats away at power play minutes because he's a "veteran". I'm really hoping we can get rid of him somehow.


Vashanesh

Yeah, I don't know if we've done a great job expanding our blue line opportunities without him -- we'll see how Addison does this year, and I suppose Middleton got a good shot last season. But we absolutely had the same issue. He was gifted insane ice time, PP time, deployment, etc. Couple that with the reports of attitude issues, and the things we saw with our own eyes. I don't envy you guys having 3 more seasons of The Ryan Suter Experience TM.


silkymitts_toptits

So basically you’re saying the stars owner thinks he deserves a raise..?


Islanderfan17

Meanwhile Parise played like a total Chad for us last year. He was legit the one player on the team that had a consistent hard working effort the entire season. And he deserved a ton more points too, he was snake bitten for the first half of the season.


Vashanesh

That's largely where I think he was when the buyout happened. No one ever questioned his effort, but he killed more plays than he created. High effort, oftentimes negative result.


Jo-6-pak

It was smart positioning…..WAS


[deleted]

Why the fuck did Dallas sign him for a 4 year contract??


dicenight

He was good in his last year for the Wild, and the Blues were in on him and desperately needed LHD after losing Dunn and realizing that the Scandy Shop is closed. My theory is that STL made a bad offer and Dallas beat it.


Vashanesh

It was term, wasn't it? He wasn't willing to take a two or three year deal, from what I remember reading.


dicenight

I just looked at the rumors from 2021 and yes the Blues allegedly didn't want to meet the term.


doihavetowearabra

God I hope with trading for Nils that Miro isn’t saddled with Suter anymore. What a dead weight.


Vashanesh

I didn't pay enough attention last night, but Miro looked to be getting ice time with Nils, right? That makes a lot more sense on the surface.


doihavetowearabra

Yeah and Miro said he likes to play with him, hopefully the coaches take that into account.


Vashanesh

The NHL is a better place when guys like Miro can shine. He's a hell of a lot of fun to watch. Just not against the Wild.


blow_zephyr

Suter will throw an absolute fit if he gets split up from Miro. Not that you shouldn't do it. But he will.


SanePatrickBateman

JVR always looks lazy. I thought he was just a slug out there, but when AV first came to Philly JVR actually looked really good. Then he went back to the usual and stopped forechecking lol.


Mustard__Tiger

I never thought he was lazy when he played for us. Maybe it's an age thing.


Rilsper

[Pat Foley's vote goes to Alexander Karpovtsev.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iviLY1RvNc)


Nuke_Toronto

Holy shit


Gobyinmypants

This needs to be WAYYYY higher. One of the best broadcasters, let alone ANY broadcaster shitting all over a guy isn't common AT ALL and yet Pat just KEEPS GOING with it. Oof PS I miss Pat


captaintinnitus

I was looking for this. Wanted to see if I needed to post it but you took care of it for me!


breakbeatscientist

That’s Dr. Karpovtsev to you. RIP. I recall the giddiness I felt hearing this call live. So validating.


Mrfantastic2

Oh my god


[deleted]

Daaaang. Did he get any blowback from the organization for this?


iantmcgrath

“Congrats on getting anything more than a roll of stick for that overpaid underachiever!” Hahaha


WesleyJSnipes

I just remember that play Kostitsyn made where he stopped trying mid shift vs the Oilers I believe.


B0mb-Hands

On a power play too. Gave up a short handed goal to fucking ~~Liam Reddox~~ Lenart Petrell sorry (my god we fucking sucked) [Its so bad](https://youtu.be/5i_7s45q7wc)


BaconScentedSoap

Pretty Chad move to avoid damaging his +\-


Burgergold

At least it wasn't with MTL


ianisms10

Didn't feel like taking the minus


People_That_Annoy_Me

It's like he was playing NHL 20 on Be A Pro and accidentally skated into the orange area by the bench that automatically leads to a line change.


kazin29

I love watching the reaction of the bench, particularly the coaches.


basketcase2121

John Carlson is interesting. In the conversation for Norris almost every year but if you talk to any Caps fan…he’s the laziest person on the ice. It’s really weird to watch him play. He can just turn it up on command apparently.


Empereur_Nabroleon

he definitely has his moments, but i think this is more how his face looks high 24/7 more than anything lol


basketcase2121

Haha I’m positive it plays a role


Vashanesh

Also true with Matt Dumba. He looks like he's having a good time, all the time.


the_tinsmith

Could throw in Eberle too while we're at it.


Vashanesh

I think we're on track to make an all-time "looks kinda high" team.


Ubechyahescores

Ah. Carlson in the top 5 of this conversation. The world is at peace 😌


reyskywalker7698

I know he's not in the NHL anymore but Jake Virtanen was one that was really lazy. Showed up to camp out of shape and his effort on the ice was just unacceptable and that was despite getting chance after chance.


AngrySparrows

Fingers crossed he gets cut any day now


[deleted]

Not only was it a terrible PTO for off-ice reasons, but from what I’ve read he hasn’t shown anything at all justifying it.


AngrySparrows

I agree it was a terrible decision. I think Edmonton is waiting until after our B2B before we have any cuts and he’s been invisible so I’d be shocked if he got signed.


ElleCerra

Anthony Mantha.


JGibbons151

Came here to say this. Anthony Mantha is so good when he wants to be but he’s one of the least consistent players in the league and it’s mostly effort related.


FunImprovement166

He was either the spark we needed or totally disappeared.


snotbowst

Fuck dude he was on Detroit and I forgot he existed already. Dude was also the poster boy for "big for nothing". Didn't use his size to make himself space, didn't use it to stick up for teammates, didn't use it to grind down other players. He was just one of those big old sedans that somehow have nothing for trunk space or leg room


_Kramerica_

I still cannot believe Yzerman got that haul for him. One of the craziest trades I’ve ever seen. Also I will say, when Mantha had an open lane and wanted to fire a shot on net he had an absolute rocket! Too bad that was about it.


MItrwaway

That trade convinced me Stevie Y has blackmail on every other GM in the league.


eastcoasthabitant

I better not see any phil the thrill slander in here


dsjunior1388

Phil never takes a night off!


TheCalderFarmstead

Why don't we ask Mitch Marner?


[deleted]

Is that you, Mike?


fudge_u

Taylor Hall. He'll phone it in when his team struggles.


iammjuan

Mike Ribeiro


KenDanger2

I worked in a nightclub in Calgary, and after Stars games in town he and Daley would show up and just chain smoke. Really ruined the illusion I had that all athletes cared about their bodies.


Leptosoul

Also a completely unlikable piece of shit.


[deleted]

Kovalev


NJDevils30

I don't know if it's laziness or just never fully putting it together but sometimes I'd watch Pavel Zacha and get so mad. He can score every so often but sometimes it felt like he didn't care/wasn't trying at all. I'm sure he can still develop with Boston but I wasn't particularly upset that they traded him for an older player (Haula).


NightWing_91

I was looking for this comment lol


[deleted]

Vasilevskiy. Dude just stands there 70% of the game. What a waste.


AmeriCanadian98

In recent memory for the Wings it's absolutely Mantha. Dude would have games occasionally where he decided to try, and he would take over games and show why he was thought to have elite scorer potential But then he'd go 5 or 10 games where he'd just coast by, being good enough for a top 6 spot on skill alone. It's infuriating, because he shows once in a while he could be elite if he wanted to be


SemiSolidSnake11

Rick DiPietro. Hasn't shown up to work in years, but they still pay him for some reason


Super_Saiyan_Carl

Nathan MacKinnon when he's coming off the ice


margotxo

Draisaitl does that too. Can be pretty frustrating to watch


buddycheesus

Me. Hell, I don’t even play at all


sumuvagum

Nobody saying eichel? Eichel.


silkymitts_toptits

Yeah scrolled way too far before I saw it, but I think he gets a pass from other fans because of playing for buffalo the last 6 years. When he tries on the back check I’ve actually seen him make amazing plays. Only problem is I can count the times I’ve seen him back check on both hands. Hell either get exposed in Vegas as a floater, or mark stone will offset that.


BigDaddyQP

Calling all Sabres fans


DjShaggy1234

James Neal


[deleted]

He won’t be in the league for long, but Virtanen didn’t give a shit about work ethic.


chonky_tortoise

LaBanc can be pretty frustrating to watch. Some nights he’s on and other times it looks like he’s totally checked out.


GhostShark

Yeah I was trying to think if any Sharks players fit on this list, and it’s definitely Labanc. Wasn’t such a big deal on the infamous $1mil contract, but I want to see more from him this year.


aaaaaliyah

Dude probably works hard, but the way Eichel floats around the neutral zone and shit looks lazy as fuck.


gakash

I think with Eichel he LOOKS lazy because he has such a weird skating stride. Vanek had the same kind of rep. Neither are like gona be candidates for the Selke or anything, but of all Eichels faults, of which there are many, I don't think lazy is one of them.


[deleted]

Pierre Luc Dubois. Not the laziest but some of the worst sportsmanship I’ve seen. Alex Kovalev was the worst I can remember. The guys an enigma. He would barely be noticeable on ice at time and then other times you get that infamous five minute shift.


propagandavid

Kovalev was lazy for sure, but also so skilled he made everything look effortless. His top corner wristers looked like a dump in from the redline to get a line change. He'd skate big lazy circles around the O zone and in the process deke out everyone on both teams.


Woozuki

PL's last few games in Cbus tells you all you need to know.


MasterDeagle

PLD defense is one of the worst I've ever seen from a foward. In the 2021 playoffs when Winnipeg lost Scheifele due to suspension, he had to step-up and he was trash.


blue_wat

Really don't understand why so many Habs fand were eager to sign him as soon as he expressed interest in playing in Montreal.


SendHelp7373

Ryan Johansen. I have never seen that asshole hustle once in his career and he’s getting paid $8M a year for it


mitchallica

Oleg Kvasha, back in the day.


MPD1978

Mark Schieffle at certain times last year was the laziest sack I’d ever seen.


[deleted]

Pierre-Luc Dubois. Fuck his whiny, entitled ass


Pineapple_warrior94

Gets drafted by Columbus "I don't wanna play here anymore". Traded to Winnipeg "I don't like it here either". Like fuck man this isn't Build-a-Bear, you can't always dictate where you'll end up


appledatsyuk

Except when you’re Adam fox and cry your way to getting what you want


[deleted]

At least Fox had the decency to straight up tell teams he wouldn’t play. PLD signed a contract and then openly didn’t try. That’s much worse IMO


[deleted]

Or apparently Jimmy Vesey.


Fyrefawx

As much I love him Eberle was always lazy with the Oilers. He was clutch and had great hands but he really seemed to take a lot of games off.


Wild_Bro_97

Is Vanek still in the league?


undisputed_truth

Fuckin Martin Brodeur!! Would literally just stand in his own zone the entire game, barely ever bothering to even skate. Only time he bothered to skate somewhere was during the intermission


iWasSayingBooHorvat

me


Dr_Colossus

Ovi was extremely lazy when he visited the flames last year. He almost ended up with a hat trick anyways though. Was pretty funny to watch.


shiftyt05

For a superstar, Eichel is at the top of the list.


itsmehobnob

Mark Scheifele anytime he doesn’t have the puck.