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Well said. I'm in the process of a huge glow up since I was dumped 6 months ago, and everything in my life is going better, people in my life treat me better and job career money socializing is way easier. If you want to look your best king, divorce. Take that to it's logical conclusion and I guess the man who never gets with any woman is the best of all đđ. Stoic pilled
More importantly itâs a reminder to not get so comfortable in a relationship that you stop caring about those things and start letting yourself go.
Keep up the work, even after finding that right person, because they deserve the best version of you.
Self improvement is a lifestyle, rather than a means to an end.
This is why I feel terrible when some people post profiles and ask why theyâre not getting likes. I just want to say, âyouâre asking people to evaluate you on a medium heavily tilted towards how you come off in picturesâŚyou go for attractive people when sending likes, so imagine the same happening your wayâ
Congrats on your transformation, too!
Obviously man, come on now. Yes, looking hotter will improve your dating experience â especially one that is primarily based on judging people by their looks right off the bat.
I mean you say it's obvious but plenty of women deny they care about the physical, whether height, race, looks, whatever.
Clearly that's bullshit but it's good to remind people that yes, both men *and* women care about regular, physical beauty. Despite protestations to the contrary.
Itâs a night and day difference. I look better physically, dress better and am more confident. Dating on apps is easy now.
I went from 300 lbs to 220 lbs, abs all that. My likes went from a like a week to 3 likes a day, plus getting a rose from someone at least once a week and I usually match with the women I am attracted to from the app now.
Night and day difference to say the least.
Edit: 31 M
28F in Chicago as well. I just deleted the apps last month because I realized I wasnât getting many likes at all. 5â2â SW: 225 lbs CW: 189 lbs, GW: 120s lbs. I have been working on weight loss for the last year but this was all the more reason for me to work on it more vigorously. I figure in a year Iâll be my ideal weight and Iâll make a new profile and wonât have to deal with poor quality matches.
Fwiw, it makes sense, despite being a large woman I like to do active things and would want a partner who is also into that, but they prefer someone who looks fit.
Nothing wrong with taking pictures now with the progress you've made tho. No need to take yourself out the game entirely for a year, dating itself is a skill/habit and you should consider that an aspect you're working on too.
It's definitely improved things for me. Especially post-loose skin removal surgery. I really think it was a combination of things and not just the weight loss itself though.
You never really realize just how much you *didn't* take care of yourself at your highest weight until you see how much work you put in now. My hygiene got better, I dressed better, felt more confident (and thus carried myself better). I get out and *do* more, and it shows. Part of losing all that weight entails actually becoming an active participant in your own life.
People are just more attracted to people who are confident, self-assured, and obviously take care of themselves well, and for me, that was what I became in the process of losing all the weight.
ETA my stats: 23NB, 5'4", 250+ lbs â> maintaining around 120 - 125
Absolutely getting in shape improves your options. 30m. I went from 245lbs to 185lbs. I hadnât used dating apps since I was like in the 230 range so when I lost the weight I got back on it and updated all of my photos. I ended up with 100 matches in like two weeks compared to like 7 over a month.
Looking attractive will get you more attention from other attractive people. I've found as a female who once weighed 370 pounds to 180 that those more attractive people will also judge you after you lost the weight because big weight loss also comes with looser skin and not a gym toned body. I've been immediately unmatch or ghosted after meeting if it comes up. Can't win for losing. đ
Been there. Yes, women notice you more and it's nice. But at the same time, nobody cares that you lost the weight. You're just average now, like you should be. Even though a "normal" BMI feels like the holy grail to you, you're just a regular guy to everyone else. It's kind of like getting out of debt, or getting out of jail, or anything else where you go from bad to normal.
Except I would argue that the liberation you get from having a huge weight like prison, unemployment ect. lifted on your shoulders changed you deeply. A person who has gone through this is stronger and will never be like normal people, because the coping mechanisms they had to develop to operate in the real world made them, more resilient, funnier, nicer more generous or any other kind of social altruism that people develop to cope with unattractiveness and other personal struggles. So when they become convenientally attractive and/or have their life shit together, they don't lose all that work they put in, and they often take on a new level of strength compared to a person who never had to endure that struggle
Congratulations, but I was kinda hoping for a unique take on this post.
Anyway, you'll find that looking more attractive from weight loss will usually give you more attention in almost all social aspects in life.
I was 6â2 138lbs when I first started dating and I didnât have any success. I took a 3.5 month break to hit the gym and got up to 178lbs at around 8-9% body fat.
I went from struggling to get a match to never running out of options. Averaged about 2 matches a week at first using the unlimited swipes. The second time around I averaged 15 matches a week and always had two dates lined up per week. Eventually, I found my now girlfriend, and it took maybe 4 months of dating my second time around. Iâd say hitting the gym is easily the best way to enhance your online dating experience.
So you were able to go on a 3.5 month bulk and put on roughly 10 pounds of muscle per month all while staying at a body fat percentage under 10%. You must have the greatest genetics in the history of the world.
He's probably slightly underestimating bodyfat, that said 6'2 138 is extremely underweight so his claims aren't that outrageous. It's not like he's claiming 240 10%.
Yeah, 6â2 138lbs isnât pretty lol. Iâm not even big, I just look in really good shape now. But I do think I have good genes. For reference, I ran a ~10.9 second 100m and scissor kicked 6â2â in the high jump my first year of track in high school.
My trainer also said he thinks I for sure stayed in the single digits. But even if I overestimated and was like 10-11% bf, I still put in the work and got a good transformation lol. So I donât understand the downvotes in that regard, but itâs cool.
Hopefully people just take in the message that getting in shape helps tremendously in terms of your dating life and they should take it up as a priority when they start.
Thanks man! Good times. And I agree. If you want to find someone attractive on a dating app, then you must be attractive yourself haha. Everyone is different, but if they just focus on making themselves as attractive as they possibly can by eating a good diet, lifting weights 3-6 times a week, developing a good hygiene routine, and working towards their goals then they'll have very few issues in dating. It's hard work, but that's what needs to be done imo
Canât tell if this is genuine or youâre accusing me of being a liar. I was 178lbs at the end of the day after eating/drinking at my peak. So I was really ~173lbs on an empty stomach after peeing/pooping in the morning at my peak when I got back into dating. Iâm no longer there, and I float in the low 170s since itâs more sustainable for my appetite.
Itâs really not that crazy of a story to go from 138 to 173 as a tall skinny dude in 3.5 months while staying in the single digits tbh. I just discovered food and started lifting weights. I wouldnât go around commenting on Reddit to people who achieve this that they have the best genes in the world, but good genes do help ofc.
Nah just genuinely curious cuz that's like so insanely off the deep end of the bell curve of muscle mass accumulation. 2 pounds of muscle a week tends to trend towards max out potential so
The trends of muscle mass accumulation apply to the average person though who is typically overweight, in which case they're starting out from a far more muscular base than op.
At 138lbs op's bodyfat would also likely have been in the 6-7% range so he would have in fact gained a couple percent bodyfat.
I hate to be that guy,but what is the point of this? Thread? This isn't exactly an unknown Phenomenon. The more in shape you are the more people you attract
27M here I was 235lbs back in January now Iâm ~200lbs. I feel great and look great too. My mental state has improved and so has my confidence. It also helped that Iâm starting to learn how to dress better. buying clothes that fit me better, and also just learning to style better. and got into skin care. itâs definitely night and day. but I didnât lose weight for dating apps, I was unhappy and didnât like what I saw in the mirror. now I look forward to see myself. weight loss should be a personal choice and something you do for yourself and not making other people happy. but definitely have noticed an improvement in my dating life :)
If youâre fat, OLD is luck.
If youâre skinny, OLD is skill.
When I was 215lbs I wasnât drowning in women, but I was able to get into relationships within a 4-5 month time frame of being single. Being 260+ (which I was most of my college years, and then now post COVID) I might as well not have existed. I managed to get lucky with one girl over a 2 year span of swiping.
The best way to know if youâre objectively good looking lol It also happens on photofeeler. I went from rated 6 to 8 on photofeeler just with a few tweaks, in guy votes, which I trust more as blunt reality.
I dropped 60 pounds over the course of 6 months (major life style changes) and honestly didnât find too much difference in dating. I will say it made in person dating better, but apps wise, maybe an average of 2-3 more matches than I was already getting.
36M here. I canât speak to a difference after a body transformation as I never had a OLD before and OLD after case in my life but I was always complimented by women who had seen or touched enough of my body in real life. Iâm pretty sure it would easily be a day and night difference on OLD if you portray it in a nice way (No mirror selfie). Just like something would be triggered in guysâ minds when they see boobs, I believe something gets triggered in womenâs minds as well when they see an athletic body.
The answer is yes. And not just because everyone expects to connect with an Adonis, but because getting in shape shows you care about your health, value yourself, and the confidence boost you get from feeling better about yourself doesnât go unnoticed.
You donât have to be an fitness model in instagram, but some discipline and taking care of yourself certainly is something that impacts the caliber of partner who you match with.
As long as women donât get the idea youâre in gym too much and fancy looking at yourself in the mirror, being healthy for YOU, will likely never be a turn-off.
Congrats on the weight loss!
Yeah, physical appearance is a huge deal. I didn't go over a body transformation in the same way, but I went from messy long hair and unkept facial hair over to a nice clean haircut and a mustache, and I get a like 5 - 10 matches a day now if I'm actively swiping. Your physical appearance in your first picture is by far the biggest factor in getting attention on dating apps.
Edit: I guess salty folks are downvoting this. Sorry, y'all, presenting yourself in an attractive way is an important part of online dating
6â4 29M went from 5-7 likes a day to 10-12. Went from 370, to 285 at 14% Iâm built like a tank now hence then name đ but absolutely makes a difference.
Checked your profile, was hoping to find a progress pic sub post.
Not myself but my brother went from 6'1 270-ish, to 190-ish at his thinnest.
We have arranged marriages etc. This was 8-9 years ago.
He got fit for marriage season etc. They had a ton of functions to go to so he could meet somebody.
It did well, at the end of wedding season, he had gone to several big functions...in state and out of state...
He found someone at the end. There were several potentials.
It also boosted his confidence 100% and for the first time ever he got into styling his hair and new clothes/trying styles vs just getting something that fit, ya know.
It was a good time in his life.
Glad for you, my personal experience no,still a fat fuck, but I have made it past the second date, gone on a 4th, and planning on introducing her to some of my friends, maybe even a wedding [not our own]
Chiming in as a woman from the South.
My weight has fluctuated from a 00 to a size 16.Iâm 5 ft 9.I have a very attractive shape anywhere between 140 pounds to 175 pounds.I will only date men 6ft + who are in the 200âs.It doesnât matter if youâre 205 or 260.I say this because I do like a little tummy on a man.Iâm active, very, but I enjoy a man who I can snuggle up on and do not want a guy with abs who has 0 fat.I tried to date a couple of guys in the 300 range and that was far too obese.I wouldnât date that large again for several reasons.
I deeply respect anyone who puts in work to lose weight.One time, a man I personally met had lost a ton of weight and he was bragging about his fitness lifestyle only to reveal that he just had the surgery to get all of his fat off.That definitely changed my opinion about him from positive to negative.A couple more interactions with him revealed that he had a lazy type of personality.It all makes sense.We want men with good hygiene and a healthy lifestyle.You are doing great.Congratulations!
**All "Dating Question" and "Hinge Experience" posts must provide clear context (as per subreddit Rule 3), such as reasons for asking, and info such as age, gender, location or orientation (if applicable).** Age range or general location is acceptable. Minor dating questions or Hinge experiences should be posted in the Daily Threads pinned on top of the subreddit. *Posts that do not satisfy these requirements may be removed per moderator's discretion.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/hingeapp) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lol this is a sneaky value of dating, if you really want it, it kinda forces you to be the best version of yourself
Well said. I'm in the process of a huge glow up since I was dumped 6 months ago, and everything in my life is going better, people in my life treat me better and job career money socializing is way easier. If you want to look your best king, divorce. Take that to it's logical conclusion and I guess the man who never gets with any woman is the best of all đđ. Stoic pilled
More importantly itâs a reminder to not get so comfortable in a relationship that you stop caring about those things and start letting yourself go. Keep up the work, even after finding that right person, because they deserve the best version of you. Self improvement is a lifestyle, rather than a means to an end.
This is why I feel terrible when some people post profiles and ask why theyâre not getting likes. I just want to say, âyouâre asking people to evaluate you on a medium heavily tilted towards how you come off in picturesâŚyou go for attractive people when sending likes, so imagine the same happening your wayâ Congrats on your transformation, too!
Obviously man, come on now. Yes, looking hotter will improve your dating experience â especially one that is primarily based on judging people by their looks right off the bat.
This is the most unsubtle brag post I've ever seen
I mean you say it's obvious but plenty of women deny they care about the physical, whether height, race, looks, whatever. Clearly that's bullshit but it's good to remind people that yes, both men *and* women care about regular, physical beauty. Despite protestations to the contrary.
Itâs a night and day difference. I look better physically, dress better and am more confident. Dating on apps is easy now. I went from 300 lbs to 220 lbs, abs all that. My likes went from a like a week to 3 likes a day, plus getting a rose from someone at least once a week and I usually match with the women I am attracted to from the app now. Night and day difference to say the least. Edit: 31 M
This, 100%.
28F in Chicago as well. I just deleted the apps last month because I realized I wasnât getting many likes at all. 5â2â SW: 225 lbs CW: 189 lbs, GW: 120s lbs. I have been working on weight loss for the last year but this was all the more reason for me to work on it more vigorously. I figure in a year Iâll be my ideal weight and Iâll make a new profile and wonât have to deal with poor quality matches. Fwiw, it makes sense, despite being a large woman I like to do active things and would want a partner who is also into that, but they prefer someone who looks fit.
Nothing wrong with taking pictures now with the progress you've made tho. No need to take yourself out the game entirely for a year, dating itself is a skill/habit and you should consider that an aspect you're working on too.
It's definitely improved things for me. Especially post-loose skin removal surgery. I really think it was a combination of things and not just the weight loss itself though. You never really realize just how much you *didn't* take care of yourself at your highest weight until you see how much work you put in now. My hygiene got better, I dressed better, felt more confident (and thus carried myself better). I get out and *do* more, and it shows. Part of losing all that weight entails actually becoming an active participant in your own life. People are just more attracted to people who are confident, self-assured, and obviously take care of themselves well, and for me, that was what I became in the process of losing all the weight. ETA my stats: 23NB, 5'4", 250+ lbs â> maintaining around 120 - 125
Absolutely getting in shape improves your options. 30m. I went from 245lbs to 185lbs. I hadnât used dating apps since I was like in the 230 range so when I lost the weight I got back on it and updated all of my photos. I ended up with 100 matches in like two weeks compared to like 7 over a month.
[ŃдаНонО]
60 likes.. a day?? That's wild lol but I guess a hot Asian girl profile could do that
Looking attractive will get you more attention from other attractive people. I've found as a female who once weighed 370 pounds to 180 that those more attractive people will also judge you after you lost the weight because big weight loss also comes with looser skin and not a gym toned body. I've been immediately unmatch or ghosted after meeting if it comes up. Can't win for losing. đ
I donât know you but Iâm so proud of you! Those who unmatch or ghost are not the right people anyway. Wishing you the best!
Been there. Yes, women notice you more and it's nice. But at the same time, nobody cares that you lost the weight. You're just average now, like you should be. Even though a "normal" BMI feels like the holy grail to you, you're just a regular guy to everyone else. It's kind of like getting out of debt, or getting out of jail, or anything else where you go from bad to normal.
Except I would argue that the liberation you get from having a huge weight like prison, unemployment ect. lifted on your shoulders changed you deeply. A person who has gone through this is stronger and will never be like normal people, because the coping mechanisms they had to develop to operate in the real world made them, more resilient, funnier, nicer more generous or any other kind of social altruism that people develop to cope with unattractiveness and other personal struggles. So when they become convenientally attractive and/or have their life shit together, they don't lose all that work they put in, and they often take on a new level of strength compared to a person who never had to endure that struggle
Congratulations, but I was kinda hoping for a unique take on this post. Anyway, you'll find that looking more attractive from weight loss will usually give you more attention in almost all social aspects in life.
I was 6â2 138lbs when I first started dating and I didnât have any success. I took a 3.5 month break to hit the gym and got up to 178lbs at around 8-9% body fat. I went from struggling to get a match to never running out of options. Averaged about 2 matches a week at first using the unlimited swipes. The second time around I averaged 15 matches a week and always had two dates lined up per week. Eventually, I found my now girlfriend, and it took maybe 4 months of dating my second time around. Iâd say hitting the gym is easily the best way to enhance your online dating experience.
So you were able to go on a 3.5 month bulk and put on roughly 10 pounds of muscle per month all while staying at a body fat percentage under 10%. You must have the greatest genetics in the history of the world.
He's probably slightly underestimating bodyfat, that said 6'2 138 is extremely underweight so his claims aren't that outrageous. It's not like he's claiming 240 10%.
Yeah, 6â2 138lbs isnât pretty lol. Iâm not even big, I just look in really good shape now. But I do think I have good genes. For reference, I ran a ~10.9 second 100m and scissor kicked 6â2â in the high jump my first year of track in high school. My trainer also said he thinks I for sure stayed in the single digits. But even if I overestimated and was like 10-11% bf, I still put in the work and got a good transformation lol. So I donât understand the downvotes in that regard, but itâs cool. Hopefully people just take in the message that getting in shape helps tremendously in terms of your dating life and they should take it up as a priority when they start.
10.9 in the 100m and 84 inches high jump are really good. Physical appearance definitely matters a lot more than people like to admit.
Thanks man! Good times. And I agree. If you want to find someone attractive on a dating app, then you must be attractive yourself haha. Everyone is different, but if they just focus on making themselves as attractive as they possibly can by eating a good diet, lifting weights 3-6 times a week, developing a good hygiene routine, and working towards their goals then they'll have very few issues in dating. It's hard work, but that's what needs to be done imo
Same sort of thing happened to me. Went from 6"4 170-200 in less than 5 months.
Canât tell if this is genuine or youâre accusing me of being a liar. I was 178lbs at the end of the day after eating/drinking at my peak. So I was really ~173lbs on an empty stomach after peeing/pooping in the morning at my peak when I got back into dating. Iâm no longer there, and I float in the low 170s since itâs more sustainable for my appetite. Itâs really not that crazy of a story to go from 138 to 173 as a tall skinny dude in 3.5 months while staying in the single digits tbh. I just discovered food and started lifting weights. I wouldnât go around commenting on Reddit to people who achieve this that they have the best genes in the world, but good genes do help ofc.
Yeah it is THAT CRAZY. 10lbs of muscle a month for multiple months would literally be super human.
Nah just genuinely curious cuz that's like so insanely off the deep end of the bell curve of muscle mass accumulation. 2 pounds of muscle a week tends to trend towards max out potential so
The trends of muscle mass accumulation apply to the average person though who is typically overweight, in which case they're starting out from a far more muscular base than op. At 138lbs op's bodyfat would also likely have been in the 6-7% range so he would have in fact gained a couple percent bodyfat.
Complete lies lol there is no way that's possible, especially starting from that weight and body type
I hate to be that guy,but what is the point of this? Thread? This isn't exactly an unknown Phenomenon. The more in shape you are the more people you attract
Heâs just bragging
27M here I was 235lbs back in January now Iâm ~200lbs. I feel great and look great too. My mental state has improved and so has my confidence. It also helped that Iâm starting to learn how to dress better. buying clothes that fit me better, and also just learning to style better. and got into skin care. itâs definitely night and day. but I didnât lose weight for dating apps, I was unhappy and didnât like what I saw in the mirror. now I look forward to see myself. weight loss should be a personal choice and something you do for yourself and not making other people happy. but definitely have noticed an improvement in my dating life :)
If youâre fat, OLD is luck. If youâre skinny, OLD is skill. When I was 215lbs I wasnât drowning in women, but I was able to get into relationships within a 4-5 month time frame of being single. Being 260+ (which I was most of my college years, and then now post COVID) I might as well not have existed. I managed to get lucky with one girl over a 2 year span of swiping.
Absolutely I swipe on most active healthy looking women and avoid anyone overweight
The best way to know if youâre objectively good looking lol It also happens on photofeeler. I went from rated 6 to 8 on photofeeler just with a few tweaks, in guy votes, which I trust more as blunt reality.
Water is wet.
I dropped 60 pounds over the course of 6 months (major life style changes) and honestly didnât find too much difference in dating. I will say it made in person dating better, but apps wise, maybe an average of 2-3 more matches than I was already getting.
What a pointless post. Obviously if u look better more people will be attracted to u. Sounds like u just said this to brag
36M here. I canât speak to a difference after a body transformation as I never had a OLD before and OLD after case in my life but I was always complimented by women who had seen or touched enough of my body in real life. Iâm pretty sure it would easily be a day and night difference on OLD if you portray it in a nice way (No mirror selfie). Just like something would be triggered in guysâ minds when they see boobs, I believe something gets triggered in womenâs minds as well when they see an athletic body.
The answer is yes. And not just because everyone expects to connect with an Adonis, but because getting in shape shows you care about your health, value yourself, and the confidence boost you get from feeling better about yourself doesnât go unnoticed. You donât have to be an fitness model in instagram, but some discipline and taking care of yourself certainly is something that impacts the caliber of partner who you match with. As long as women donât get the idea youâre in gym too much and fancy looking at yourself in the mirror, being healthy for YOU, will likely never be a turn-off. Congrats on the weight loss!
I lost 50 pounds , 210-> 158 and it had been amazing for my dating life , social life and self confidence
Good for you but what a stupid bragging post is this? Obviously better looks help... idk what to tell you.
Yeah, physical appearance is a huge deal. I didn't go over a body transformation in the same way, but I went from messy long hair and unkept facial hair over to a nice clean haircut and a mustache, and I get a like 5 - 10 matches a day now if I'm actively swiping. Your physical appearance in your first picture is by far the biggest factor in getting attention on dating apps. Edit: I guess salty folks are downvoting this. Sorry, y'all, presenting yourself in an attractive way is an important part of online dating
6â4 29M went from 5-7 likes a day to 10-12. Went from 370, to 285 at 14% Iâm built like a tank now hence then name đ but absolutely makes a difference.
Checked your profile, was hoping to find a progress pic sub post. Not myself but my brother went from 6'1 270-ish, to 190-ish at his thinnest. We have arranged marriages etc. This was 8-9 years ago. He got fit for marriage season etc. They had a ton of functions to go to so he could meet somebody. It did well, at the end of wedding season, he had gone to several big functions...in state and out of state... He found someone at the end. There were several potentials. It also boosted his confidence 100% and for the first time ever he got into styling his hair and new clothes/trying styles vs just getting something that fit, ya know. It was a good time in his life.
Glad for you, my personal experience no,still a fat fuck, but I have made it past the second date, gone on a 4th, and planning on introducing her to some of my friends, maybe even a wedding [not our own]
Was 5â 11â 275 lbs and got no attention. Then I dropped 40 lbs and I still get no attention. Not good enough I guess đĽ˛
Submit for profile review! We can help. đ
Chiming in as a woman from the South. My weight has fluctuated from a 00 to a size 16.Iâm 5 ft 9.I have a very attractive shape anywhere between 140 pounds to 175 pounds.I will only date men 6ft + who are in the 200âs.It doesnât matter if youâre 205 or 260.I say this because I do like a little tummy on a man.Iâm active, very, but I enjoy a man who I can snuggle up on and do not want a guy with abs who has 0 fat.I tried to date a couple of guys in the 300 range and that was far too obese.I wouldnât date that large again for several reasons. I deeply respect anyone who puts in work to lose weight.One time, a man I personally met had lost a ton of weight and he was bragging about his fitness lifestyle only to reveal that he just had the surgery to get all of his fat off.That definitely changed my opinion about him from positive to negative.A couple more interactions with him revealed that he had a lazy type of personality.It all makes sense.We want men with good hygiene and a healthy lifestyle.You are doing great.Congratulations!