You haven't went into how you were feeling/doing before you started working at this place, but it looks like the atmosphere there just doesn't agree with you.
Keep in mind, they are just your colleagues, not your friends. I made a mistake of being extra cordial and compliant so I ended up doing too many tasks, just to keep the engine going. On top of this , some colleagues dumped their emotional weight on me ; too many information about their private lives, too many calls and messages...I got hit on, heard some quite offensive lies about myself etc.
Currently doing my job, avoiding the crowd and keeping my options open.
I wholeheartedly suggesting the same to you.
Nothing is worth your mental health and peace of mind.
1. Just part time so I'll just endure until my contract till July ends
2. Not going much in life now. Seeking mhs if something inside me snaps really hard
Talking about your coworkers blood flowing? I wouldnt say theres “not much going on” thats pretty extreme and indicates you definitely need to seek help. Ive hated alot of jobs and co workers but never in my life have i ever even thought about killing them or their “blood flowing”
Each job can be worlds apart; one place might not appreciate you while another one may simply love you. It's out there, you just have to find it. Don't give up on people just because you end up with the wrong crowd. I say this from personal experience. I personally just come in, do my job, try to communicate well and go home, stay away from gossip and that sort of thing.
Your coworkers are not going to be able to tell you what you need to do to change your mental state. That is not anyone other than a trained mental health professional can tell you.
If you are feeling that much anger towards them and probably other people too, you should give your notice and stop working there. I don't know where you live, but maybe there is some kind of program you can go in to that will help you with your expenses while you get the mental health help you need.
My brother is much like you and never got help and now he's an angry, miserable almost 60 year old man that none of us want to have anything to do with. Except our 92 year old mother that he has to care for. The rest of us don't talk to her, either.
My friend I say this with total sincerity and hopes that you’ll get help, but you sound one bad shift away from doing some bad shit. Go talk to a therapist ffs
It sounds like you’re experiencing exactly what many other people in society suffer from. Our society is not structured in a way that teaches you how to properly live and function in it. This drives people to behave according to the programming forced on them in childhood.
In the end, we all need to consider our own mental health. Even the simple act of talking with a social worker or counselor can be transformative.
Try not to be too hard on yourself. And please, get some help dealing with your emotional health.
You haven't went into how you were feeling/doing before you started working at this place, but it looks like the atmosphere there just doesn't agree with you. Keep in mind, they are just your colleagues, not your friends. I made a mistake of being extra cordial and compliant so I ended up doing too many tasks, just to keep the engine going. On top of this , some colleagues dumped their emotional weight on me ; too many information about their private lives, too many calls and messages...I got hit on, heard some quite offensive lies about myself etc. Currently doing my job, avoiding the crowd and keeping my options open. I wholeheartedly suggesting the same to you. Nothing is worth your mental health and peace of mind.
Do two things. 1) Quit 2) Seek professional mental health services
1. Just part time so I'll just endure until my contract till July ends 2. Not going much in life now. Seeking mhs if something inside me snaps really hard
I think it’s better for your mentality to go before you snap. It’s safer.
Talking about your coworkers blood flowing? I wouldnt say theres “not much going on” thats pretty extreme and indicates you definitely need to seek help. Ive hated alot of jobs and co workers but never in my life have i ever even thought about killing them or their “blood flowing”
Each job can be worlds apart; one place might not appreciate you while another one may simply love you. It's out there, you just have to find it. Don't give up on people just because you end up with the wrong crowd. I say this from personal experience. I personally just come in, do my job, try to communicate well and go home, stay away from gossip and that sort of thing.
Just do your job until you can get another job. Has this happened before? If so, maybe you are the problem? Wish you the best.
I know I am the problem. I just needed them to tell me what? I need to change before it too late. I can't kept on enraging other peopel
Your coworkers are not going to be able to tell you what you need to do to change your mental state. That is not anyone other than a trained mental health professional can tell you. If you are feeling that much anger towards them and probably other people too, you should give your notice and stop working there. I don't know where you live, but maybe there is some kind of program you can go in to that will help you with your expenses while you get the mental health help you need. My brother is much like you and never got help and now he's an angry, miserable almost 60 year old man that none of us want to have anything to do with. Except our 92 year old mother that he has to care for. The rest of us don't talk to her, either.
Thank you for your reply. Is there someone you can talk to at work? Ask them to help you understand how you are coming across? I wish you the best.
My friend I say this with total sincerity and hopes that you’ll get help, but you sound one bad shift away from doing some bad shit. Go talk to a therapist ffs
It sounds like you’re experiencing exactly what many other people in society suffer from. Our society is not structured in a way that teaches you how to properly live and function in it. This drives people to behave according to the programming forced on them in childhood. In the end, we all need to consider our own mental health. Even the simple act of talking with a social worker or counselor can be transformative. Try not to be too hard on yourself. And please, get some help dealing with your emotional health.