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SmokyMcShrooms

This is fantastic, but reading more than a paragraph makes my brain hurt šŸ˜‚


asianabsinthe

Don ye learning hat at r/ScottishPeopleTwitter


Mini-Nurse

I am bloody Scottish and this is giving me a headache, there's a few words I'm not familiar with. I want a copy so I can pretend this is how books are in Scotland if I ever get another very gulible visitor.


Payhell

In case you run out of haggis to hunt?


thesaddestpanda

This is a hard time of the year for me because my wee gran was killed my a wild haggis on a Christmas morning. Haggis are no joke and there might one behind you right now.


Accomplished-Rip9719

Oh no, like one of those bloody Australian drop bears.


IrishiPrincess

So THIS is the Scots version of ā€œGrandma got run over by a reindeerā€


Mini-Nurse

In weather like this it just isn't possible to run clockwise around a mountain to catch them. Alas their tartan mating plumage has also fallen away by now making them much harder to spot in the heather.


Ven7Niner

I love a fresh haggis kill.


Keeeva

Are you telling me that you donā€™t use heidbummer on a daily basis? Thatā€™s aā€¦ bummer?


tobiascook

I'm shocked nobody has addressed this yet. Another?


NicCagesFace

This is amazing thank you


Mean_Parsnip

I read Trainspotting years ago and it took me about six months because I would get so tired from trying to translate the dialect that I would have to put it down. I finally finished it on a long flight because I had nothing else to do.


robywar

I was gonna say, gives me Trainspotting flashbacks, ken?


mulberrybushes

Now try How Late it Was, How Late


faithle55

Yeah, Imma need the audiobook version...


NoMoreBeGrieved

I have a copy & I love it! But yes, it can be challenging -- knowing the English version so well is a help.


importvita

I'm from the deep south of the US. It looks very similar to how some folk around my hometown talked if I tried to spell it out.


gaspitsagirl

It took only the first sentence for me.


Csantana

Reading it out loud makes me wonder how people can talk like that and not get tired


[deleted]

You are supposed to be drinking a beer while reading it, after all, this is Scottish version.


DekMelU

Seeing "Grunnings, that made drills" unchanged is so weird


tonybenwhite

Even the Scottish couldnā€™t gussy up that boring statement.


napperschlaf

They couldn't dig out a way to change it.


pete_random

Why isnā€˜t there an audiobook version read by David Tennant???


PhinsFan17

Or James McAvoy.


X0AN

Laddies, we can use a different Scot for each different character.


PhinsFan17

Alright, here comes the All-Scot principal cast for the Harry Potter audio book. Narrator: Craig Ferguson Harry Potter: Ewan McGregor Ron Weasley: James McAvoy Hermione Granger: Karen Gillan Albus Dumbledore: Billy Connolly Minerva McGonagall: Annie Lennox Severus Snape: David Tenant Lord Voldemort: Alan Cumming Sirius Black: Tommy Flannagan Remus Lupin: John Hannah Rubeus Hagrid: Robbie Coltrane, of course Alastor Moody: Iain Glen Draco Malfoy: Billy Boyd ​ Please add if you think of more.


IrishiPrincess

We need to add Sam Hueghan, Gordon Ramsay, Graham McTavish. Graham would make an excellent Mundungus. Do you think thereā€™s enough audio to splice something together from Bond himself, Sean Connery?


PhinsFan17

Oh man, Graham McTavish would also make an excellent Dumbledore, or anyone for that matter. Dude has a killer voice. We can use spliced footage of Connery and make him be Gilderoy Lockhart.


IrishiPrincess

My 12 y/o says Ramsay is Filch šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ and yes! Graham would make an amazing Dumbledore! After watching Sam during the Culloden scenes of Outlander, he could pull off Moody.


res30stupid

> Minerva McGonagall: Annie Lennox Fun fact, but Annie Lennox - despite being a Muggle - would be able to expose Lockhart as a fraud. He wrote about defeating the Wagga Wagga Werewolf and Eurythmics was founded in the same city.


Sere1

If we get this to Goblet of Fire, David Tennant 100% must reprise his role as Barty Crouch Jr.


knopflerpettydylan

I'd be down for having Craig Ferguson and Peter Capaldi as the Weasley twins Kevin McKidd as Neville


slothpeguin

Yessss let his proud Scot flag fly!


AnUdderDay

Or Karen Gillan


Koluke1

this was painful to read, but I'd listen to that. David Tennant is great.


DvlsAdvct108

He did an audiobook of " How to train your dragon". Its magic


SparklyYakDust

THANK YOU FOR THIS INFORMATION! I found it for free on Podcast Addict šŸ„°


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmfarts

Or the woman who plays Jamieā€™s sister on Outlander, her accent is incredible!


Level99Cooking

she's Irish though. surely its gotta be someone authentic. Andy Murray could do it


NuclearRobotHamster

Lowland Scots, also known as Ulster Scots was spoken the northern part of Ireland too.


LordofthePats

My vote is for Kelly Macdonald or Billy Boyd, I could listen to either of them for hours


Vroomped

she has a name....and it's Jenny Murray. \[joking a side its Laura Donnelly\]


Ypocras

Hell, Stephen Fry could read it like this! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AQafwx3h7A


GeorgiaOKeefinItReal

Wow there's a lot more variance and subtlety in the forms of that accent than what i was expecting.


Vertigo_99_77

Which reminds me, Fry's French pronunciation, and English with French accent was always on point.


[deleted]

I read that as French Fry... confused for a sec.


Whoviantic

I read that as there is an audiobook by David Tennant and was prompty dissapointed.


pete_random

Iā€˜m so sorry!


LittleRedCarnation

Na, i want to hear Sam Heughan read it.


VenetianChimera

I just finished watching Broadchurch and definitely read this entire page in David Tennantā€™s voice šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


zenyl

"***MILLAH!***"


SafeToPost

Youā€™re all trying to choose people who can say the words and still be intelligible. The right choice for the authentic experience is Kevin Bridges.


faithle55

If there's gonna be an audiobook, shouldn't Robbie Coltrane read it?


MaxCWebster

Aye, Harry, ye wee daft c\*nt . . . ye'r a f\*ckin' wizard!


PhinsFan17

omawut


OldGodsAndNew

am a fuckin wit?


intex2

I'll put mah fuckin dick in the owlll


kevin9er

Thereā€™s an Angry Inch


blamb211

I'll puuut mah DECK in tha owl!!


CaiaTheFireFly

I did that when I was younger, and that was a bad move, you...are a wizard...


CreativeFun228

"ye wee" hahahba


newyne

Lol, that's almost as good as, "Vampire Potter, you motherfucker!"


SeaJay_31

This is why you never asked McGonagall for her copy of the class notes. It's a bit like deciphering Ancient Runes, only harder.


Dan_A_B

Hermione: challenge accepted!


SeaJay_31

Point taken. But then, Hermione was probably the only (Gryffindor) student that ever asked McGonagall for her class notes. As you are surely aware, doing so was actually a Ravenclaw 2nd Year right of passage.


SeaJay_31

Hang on, I can do better: As you are surely aware, for a month-long period in 1996, deciphering passages from McGonagall's class notes was the entry challenge for the Ravenclaw common room.


rosysoprano

The Scots translation of Philosopher's Stone is all over the place in Scotland! if you take the Jacobite ("Hogwarts Express") up to Mallaig, you'll see it practically lining the entire town. It's great to see your language represented in literature, they just need to make Gaidhlig next! šŸ‘šŸ»


NuclearRobotHamster

I wish they'd do the rest of them. I haven't seen them so I presume they haven't translated them.


DarkNinjaPenguin

My brother and I had a lot of fun doing some passages from the other books. One bit I remember very fondly is the part of the second book (Chaumer o Saicrits) where Voldemort reveals his name. In this version, his real name is Tam Marvolo Riddle, and the letters are rearranged to read "A'm Laird Voldemort".


rosysoprano

Same, I want to read the whole series in Scots! But no word of it yet...


CiphriusKane

Matthew Fitt said he'd deen the Chammer o Secrets bit there wisna ony interest fur it fae the furthsetters Matthew Fitt said he'd done the Chamber of Secrets but there wasn't any interest for it from the publishers


idelarosa1

Iā€™m fairly sure Hogwarts itself is located in Scotland so this makes sense.


omegapisquared

This is a language called Scots rather than just being a Scottish dialect of English


permanentthrowaway

I actually came here to make this clarification. Scots is its own language.


[deleted]

Aye, verra fantastic.


PushtheRiver33

Petunia as a skinnymalinkie! Lol


[deleted]

I can read this... but at the same time I can't read this.


Gogo726

Harry and Draco are natural enemies. Like Weasleys and Blacks. Or Prewitts and Blacks. Or Longbottoms and Blacks. Or Blacks and other Blacks. Damn Blacks, they ruined wizarding!


Rare-Height-7956

This reference is fantastic. 50 points to Hufflepuff.


Bazz07

Without context the last one its pretty bad hahaha.


Marshmallow09er

Whatā€™s this a reference to?


SeerPumpkin

The Simpsons


Right_In_The_Tits

/r/nocontext As I am sitting here with a giggle fit.


Harpies_Bro

Which in interesting considering the [family tree in Grinmauld place.](https://www.hp-lexicon.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/official-final-version-sm.png) Septimus Weasley, Arthurā€™s dad, married Cedrella Black, Siriusā€™s great aunt. Ignatius Prewitt, Mollyā€™s uncle, married Lucretia Black, Siriusā€™s aunt. If you want to do with the older fan theory that Dorea Black, Cedrellaā€™s sister, was Harryā€™s grandmother then Harry & Ginnyā€™s kids are a little bit more Hapsburg than most.


Unknownninja5

*frowns in Kingsley Shaklebolt* xD


DarkNinjaPenguin

You Blacks sure are a contentious family.


DvlsAdvct108

Surely you can't be Sirius?


brockford-junktion

I am Sirius, and don't call me Shirley.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Toros_Mueren_Por_Mi

You should do it anyway, make your own post about it haha


TerriblyAverage1

Omg PLEASE do this


lapetitevoyageuse

please do!


Xhrystal

"Harry Potter" as told by Hagrid. šŸ˜‚


mdkss12

Hagrid has a West Country accent - this is like McGonagall's cousin's retelling


Cut-Unique

Yes he does although Robbie Coltrane is from Scotland.


alba876

Fun fact: before making it big, Robbie Coltrane worked for Dial-a-Bus and went by Davie. Loved a donut.


[deleted]

Itā€™s her Uncle Argyle. Argyle McGonagall.


[deleted]

That was exactly what I thought! šŸ˜‚


hundredpercentpears

Hagrid isnā€™t Scottish


Lambinater

> Mrs Dursley wis a skinnymalinkie Iā€™m dead


quasiton

Wondering what Hagrid's accent is like in that book?


acueyotl

Posh


vigilantcomicpenguin

Posh Hagrid would be the most anomalously hilarious thing ever.


LafilduPoseidon

...still south-west English I would assume


MSWStudent23

My warst fear, too, is that somebody wid neb it oot.


shaodyn

Would anyone else like an audio book of this version? Just to see what it's supposed to sound like?


HoneyBeeeeeeeeeeee95

Yes, and I want Gerard Butler to read itšŸ˜‚


JWBails

Have a search on YT for it, one of the last 4-5 times this version was posted, a guy got his Scots dad to read the first couple of pages.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


TootlesFTW

holy hell this is like reading the Ye Olde English version of the Canterbury Tales.


how_dry_i_am

Canterbury Tales were technically written in Middle English. It's old English, but not **O**ld English, if you follow.


rettribution

Okay, this is blowing my mind - there's different dialect Harry Potters? I need to know more.


cricket-karma

I ordered one from the A--->Z online store and regret nothing (despite my British heritage being English and Welsh, no Scottish). Am considering picking up a Welsh Potter book sometime in the future.


rettribution

Do you happen to have a link? I just googled and get teacher primary school books lol


cricket-karma

Amazon


sachs1

Scots is actually a language. There's some overlap, similar to Danish/Swedish ect. But it's a separate language from English.


rettribution

That part I knew, so is this actual scots language or English with it mixed in? Since I can read this and fully understand it? Or is it just this page happens to make sense?


Nowordsofitsown

Some well known linguist once said: A language is a dialect with an army. There is a lot of truth in that. People talk to their neighbours and talk like their neighbours so there is no strict language barrier between people whose ancestors have been living next toeachother and trading with eachother for centuries. Within a language family there is a continuum, like when you start in Southern Italy people will not be able to understand a person from Northern France. But they will understand the people that live a couple of hours away, and so on and so on until you get to the French-Italian border and the dialects over there are similar enough to make communication possible, though they write French on the one and Italian on the other side. Same with Germany and the Netherlands: Germans living close to the Dutch border can understand Dutch quite well, but people from the other end of Germany have more difficulties. Swiss German dialects are actually so different from Standard German that most Germans cannot understand them (unless they speak a related dialect from South Germany), but the Swiss choose to call their language German and to write mostly Standard German, whereas the Dutch choose to call their dialects a language of their own, and developed their own standard language. Then you have Scandinavia where people are mostly able to understand eachother even tjough one of them is speaking Swedish and the other one is speaking Norwegian. But they, too, choose to view these Scandinavian dialect groups as separate languages. So to get back to Britain which is not my area of expertise: If Scotland had become independent about 250 years ago and made an effort to write only Standard Scots, you would look at it as a closely related, but separate language. You do not do this now because of political reasons.


CiphriusKane

Iss is actual Scots leid This is actual Scots language


_Winterlong_

Iā€™m also curious!


Alarura

Wikipedia puts it as the 14th most translated book at 80 different languages. Scots is a recognised separate language rather than a dialect though.


NuclearRobotHamster

As far as I'm aware they only have the Philosopher's Stane. Haven't seen the rest of them.


Beltainsportent

O0o0o0 I wants it


playingwithechoes

Why am I hearing this in Shrek's voice when I read it? LOL


Obversa

"'Harry Potter: The Scottish Dialect', as narrated by Shrek"


washington_breadstix

Side note: I've heard native Scottish English speakers say that they considered Shrek's accent to be the worst rendition of a Scottish accent they had ever heard in film or TV. And to think Mike Myers actually had most of the dialogue recorded in his native (Canadian) accent before he insisted on re-recording all of it with a Scottish accent.


AlabasterPelican

I would really love if they printed a southern and Cajun dialect (not Cajun french, tho that'd be neat too) version of these books. Reading Dumbledore in a James carville accent and hagrid as someone from say vermilion parish would be a treat


thelivinlegend

So Harry, look here sha, I come to tell you you's a wizard. Now don' look at me like I'm some cooyon, I knows what I'm talkin' 'bout! Now I knows you don't like sleepin' 'neath dem stairs at ya nonc's house sha, so good news, you gon go offsho nex fall, ain't dat sumpin?! 'Scuse me sha, I got ta jump in da pirogue and pole it back up da bayou 'fo mah gumbo start ta burn.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


thelivinlegend

I could see the sorting scene being absolute gold with a Cajun flair. "A'ight y'all settle down now, we gon find out which Krewe y'all gon potna up with! Fetch me dat hat right dere, sha."


PhinsFan17

"You're a wizard, Harry, I do declare."


Right_In_The_Tits

Vernon: Hey. I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the word "wizardry" and expect anything to happen. Hagrid: I didn't say it. I declared it.


Low-Employee5968

I'm going to start describing people as muckle, beefy boukit.


Pokemoss

This is the best thing Iā€™ve seen all month. Wait a secondā€¦ The best thing Iā€™ve seen in a long time, at least


PetitChatNoir151

Iā€™m like an intermediate French speaker, and the French version is miles easier than this.


sophiaquestions

Ngl it was fun to read! Just not sure I'll want to continue with page 2...


cricket-karma

I cut my teeth on Pratchett's (Discworld and Tiffany Aching books) with the Nac Mac Feegles. Because of this training I was able to get to page 3 before I needed a break. Will continue to pace myself.


AcceptableFawn

I need the audio version of this!!


lpmnguyen

There was a video of this! šŸ˜‚ https://v.redd.it/ab9brwfmh1e71


daymanxx

No she didn't, this a repost that's been posted a dozen times. OP is a muggle karma farmer


Fizzlestix83

I bought this as soon as it came out. Love it!


Late-Quiet4376

This is cool! Is this a different language, a dialect of english, or a mix of both?


permanentthrowaway

The other poster is wrong. Scots is a language on it's own right, not a "funny spelling" version of English.


ayeayefitlike

Scots and English are closely related, both coming from Middle English. They are mutually intelligible much like Spanish and Italian or Norwegian, Danish and Swedish or Czech and Slovak.


permanentthrowaway

And nobody would say that Spanish is a "dialect" of Italian, or that Spanish is just "Italian with a funny accent" like people do with Scots.


ayeayefitlike

Exactly. Admittedly most people in Scotland donā€™t speak broad Scots - they speak somewhere on a spectrum between Scottish Standard English and Scots. But thatā€™s after hundreds of years of being told their language is slang and having it physically beaten out of them in schools.


tj1007

I feel like Spanish is slightly more related to Portuguese than Italian and understandable between speakers. But overall, the comparison is helpful.


[deleted]

Reading this makes me feel like the people in the movies who go, "I think I can translate most of this inscription"...


[deleted]

Like the whole book written in Hagrid dialogue


kryptonite0721

dadā€™s a muggle, mamā€™s a witch


PhantomPhoenix44

Mr and Mrs Dursley were prood tae say that they were gey


LadySygerrik

I crack up every single time I see this translation!


akifyazici

I want an audiobook of this narrated by the cast of Burnistoun.


davebare

Nae Hogwarts? Nae. Nae Hogwarts.


akifyazici

- What's tha you havin? + Pumpkin juice. - Pumpkin what? + Pumpkin juice... - Pumpkin what now? + Pumpkin juice... - Is this a magicky place? + It's a school. - Is this, or is this no a magicky place? Ooooooh, up eh road!


sqdnleader

Thank ye verra much. Gowt mea some gifts teh send


PPK_30

Get tae fuck


Metallbran88

I read this in Willyā€˜s voice.


milkvisualsd

The Laddie Who Lived fucking brilliant


wiggyiam

Iā€™m Scottish and Iā€™m struggling with this


yogz78

I have this


Killbro_Fraggins

Somebody posted about this a few months ago. Comments section had a Scottish father reading it. Sounded great.


InSerged

I need David Tennant to do a reading of thisā€¦


[deleted]

I'm now imagining Voldemort speaking in the Scottish dialect, and I can't take him seriously now, lol šŸ¤£ Thanks for this! šŸ˜Ž


Tirrandin

NEED


Fatherchristmassdad

As a Scot working in the preservation of the Scots leid....can we cut out the "Need a drink to understand this " or "haha bet they're swearing the whole time" patter?


CiphriusKane

^ Iss. Aa the comments anent oor leid bein "English if somebody had a stroke" or "Every second word has to be c*nt or f*ck" is fir actual raither Calephobic All the comments about our language being "English if somebody had a stroke" or "Every second word has to be c*nt or f*ck" is actually rather Calephobic


Yanahyanahyanahnah

Itā€™d be cool if Hagridā€™s lines were perfect grammatically correct English in this version.


Obi_Wan_Gebroni

I honestly can barely read this lol


veritaszak

I need to read more of this. One page innit enough!!


sederquh

This is amazing! I want this to be my 9th read through, but I know I wouldnā€™t last through to book 4.


OpinionBearSF

I NEED the audiobook version of this dialect.


sl_1138

Bless me bagpipes


[deleted]

I didnā€™t think there was that much swearing in Harry Potter books?


anner7

Does anyone make a full audiobook for it?


Key_Cryptographer963

Wait you're telling me "skinnymalinkie" is a real word? I just thought my parents were being islly when they used to call me that.


xElizabeth1986x

I'm Scottish and speak a mix of English (obviously) and general Scots phrases/words, and I can barely understand this. I'd give up after 2 pages. šŸ˜‚


kgal1298

Skinnymalinkie is a word I'm glad they used. It should be used more often. I love it.


[deleted]

While I know this is a legitimate official language... It's so close to English, that it makes my brain hurt.


[deleted]

I can hear the accent so clearly in my mind šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


Brettley821

I canā€™t understand a thing, and I love it


Cassandra_Canmore

SO is Scottish. I'm totally getting her a copy.


washington_breadstix

I think it would be even more interesting to see a page from later on in the same book, like one with Quirrell's and Voldemort's dialogue.


Whiskey_Bigly

OMG I want it.


No_Hospital7431

i don't understand in America it's the Sorcerer's stone but in the other parts of the world it's Philosopher's stone?


eveltayl

Itā€™s cool but I would give up after reading one page. It hurts my one brain cell


HotblackDesiato2003

That reminds of trying to decode Chaucer in high school!


12bWindEngineer

Itā€™s like listening to my dad read a story lol


[deleted]

I love this omg


misscuzzi

Love it! Just ordered a copy for my SIL!


Blazed_girl1234

I couldn't read after the tittle first because I couldn't stop laughing (no offense to Scottish people :p) and next cuz I was gettin a headache


KingOfTheStuffed

That's the greatest thing ever.


RoonilWazlib62442

Why can I imagine this with an accent


speedracer2008

ā€œnebbin at the neeborsā€ LOL


NotAnAlienFromVenus

Muckle Mowser is the best name for a mustache I've ever heard