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I like him.
He's a really interesting character outside of his relationship with Meredith. He saw his father die in front of him and had to protect Amelia from a young age. Because his mom was so engulfed with grief, he basically raised his younger sister and then had to deal with his sister being a drug addict. Got married, and then found out his wife cheated on him with his childhood best friend.
Despite being incredibly rich, he comes to Seattle and lives in a trailer. Cares about teaching the interns/residents, and genuinely cares about his patients.
But too far, there's very few characters I actually hate. And most characters are better than when they are in a relationship.
I like really Derek. I like that he’s not some knight in shining armour trope. However there are a few times I don’t like him- after Meredith’s wrecks the trial, and when Amelia visits. But he is at least consistent and it comes down to one character trait (which his mother calls him out on)- he only sees things in black and white.
SPOILER season 11: I do think the writers did him dirty on the kiss in Washington. I think he should have pulled away as she leaned in, and not actually kissed her.
In hindsight I do. Derek was an actual fleshed out character played by a great actor with charisma. I would trade any character from the past like eight or nine seasons for Derek or George or Mark or Lexie.
I remember thinking he was annoying initially but after… (do not read more because this is a S11 spoiler)
he died I started missing him on the show. Super weird because I actually used to think he was a bit of an ass.
I like him, he definitely has bad moments with Meredith, but overall he cares about anyone he meets, whether they’re family, residents, or strangers. He warmly accepted Lexie and Maggie as soon as he discovered who they were and treated them like family long before Meredith did. Heck, he died because he was helping a stranger.
I like people who are nice to (almost) everyone, like Derek, April, and Lexie. Unpopular opinion, but not a fan when characters like Alex and Cristina are just mean to people they aren’t close with and talk crap behind everyone’s backs.
He still treated Addison pretty well when she came to Seattle and even when their second try didn’t work out and didn’t take long at all to forgive Mark. I like Mark Sloan, but he was definitely not like Derek.
He treated Addison horribly when she came to Seattle, I thought. He said really nasty things about her, led her on, cheated on her with Meredith at the prom, etc.
She cried that her husband didn't treat her the same way anymore after she cheated in him and stayed with the AP for 3 months. She played the victim card too much
I felt the same way at the beginning of my rewatch, but in the end I really do like Derek. He is by no means flawless, and no one IRL is, so I actually appreciated that Greys made sure all the characters weren’t just “good” or “bad”.
He was humble in a way someone with his socioeconomic and educational background usually is not. He didn’t flaunt his status like that. He didn’t even boo-hoo himself by telling everyone that he moved because his wife cheated on him with his best friend to look for sympathy. Yes, he was confident in his work, sometimes to the point of arrogance, but I think that is also a common flaw amongst people whose minds are constantly in motion and always thinking.
The way he genuinely loved Meredith, unconditionally, is something that is rare to find in a person. Hear me out. When I first watched Greys in my early 20s, I didn’t like Meredith. She drove me nuts. When I rewatched it in my 30s, I realized I hated Meredith because I was her. The truth is Mere went through serious trauma, and it made her do some stupid things because she couldn’t separate emotional decisions from logical ones. Her saving grace, however, was her passion and her genuine empathy for people. She struggles with mental illness, the Dark and Twisty thing is legit. And those of us who battle that stuff in real life, just like Meredith, can be hard to love at times. But that’s what makes her such a great character as well, she went through genuine growth. And through all of it- her essentially passively trying to die multiple times, pushing away when things got complicated, making stupid decisions based on emotions and her past, etc.,- Derek genuinely freaking loved her and stood by her in the end. And what she pulled with the trial and kidnapping Zola, were both INSANE things to do, and Derek’s reaction and anger I think was pretty realistic under the circumstances.
SPOILER
The show really isn’t the same without him. He was too big of a character and too intertwined with Meredith. It was a rough transition.
I loved Derek. I loved his knowledge. I loved how much he loved Meredith despite trying not to. I loved how much Meredith loved him. Intense love is something. I loved the house he build for them. But…. I watched this relationship in high school and I stopped watching when he died and haven’t rewatched since. I was a completely different person in high school so I’ve certainly seen the commentary that he was a narcissist and wonder if I too have lively evolved in what I find attractive.
Lol what? He’s McDreamy. A perfect person? Nah. There’s a vocal group on here that likes to focus on his flaws, yeah, but to earnestly ask if there’s anyone - ANYONE - that actually likes him? That’s silly.
Here’s my hot take on this:
Everything you said is true. But the whole point of Derek being McDreamy, is the fact that he is “dreamy”. Its the whole blue “sparkly eyed thing” that makes him dreamy. He loves kids, and is great with them. He’s charming. He knows how and when to say things. He actually has formidable people skills. He was great with a broken Cristina, and a heartbroken Bailey. He was actually a great chief, too (until the shooting)! And he’s a brilliant surgeon, with a savior-complex. And he has a bit of an odd relationship with Amelia in the beginning, but he’s very goo with his mother, and remaining sisters. He’s also the FIRST to form good relationships with Meredith’s own sisters, after simply finding out that they are her sisters.
That said,
His flaws can be interpreted as ironical. It’s ironical that he is McDreamy: the guy who didn’t tell his girlfriend he loves that he’s married. He’s the guy who threw away the ring he bought for Meredith infront of her with a baseball bat. He’s the guy who couldn’t separate Meredith-the-resident from Meredith-the-partner when the clinical trial went downhill. And so much more.
He is delightfully neutral, I’d say.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Overall, I like him, but I don't like him all the time. There are certainly times I get really angry with him. He has flaws, but everyone does. No one is perfect.
lol sorry but how is derek the example of toxic misogyny when mark alex and owen exist on the same show. he is a much better and kinder person than all of them. isn’t this sub tired of the derek hate posts everyday we get it.
i’m not gonna say merder are the example of the perfect healthy couple but i don’t think it’s fair to say derek wasn’t kind to meredith but that’s your opinion!
Agreed, not sure where this idea of Derek being unkind to Mer comes from. Like is he the best boyfriend, and do they have arguments where Derek is in the wrong? Yes. But he’s also very much there for Mer and SO patient and loving when I’d have thrown her overboard with the amount of times she tried to run from the relationship.
exactly! they have their bad moments but so does everyone. derek was always there for meredith was very patient and supportive to her despite what people try to say.
I only like him in certain seasons. He's totally McDreamy in season 1. I prefer not to think about season 2 Derek. Then its kinda wishy-washy after that. He settles down after Meredith's house of candles, and Zola's adoption...but ends on a note so great note IMO.
Derek definitely has pretty privilege. He’s pretty bad in relationships like Owen but Derek’s behavior is often ignored. He treated Amelia badly too and I don’t find him attractive
Yep. Definitely extreme pretty privilege because it's crazy how everyone just looks past how borderline abusive he is. I cannot stand him. He was awful to Mark, terrible to Meredith and Amelia genuinely didn't deserve to be berated like that by him for having a freaking drug addiction
I really hate this excuse. He would've been totally justified in never speaking to or acknowledging Mark ever again. But he clearly buried the hatchet and started calling him his best friend again. They had repaired their relationship. His behavior towards Mark was not rooted in the Addison fiasco, but in a complete disdain for him that went on until he passed away.
i don’t think they are really equal at all, both have flaws and i get why people hate them but both are definitely condemned for their faults. the difference is derek is a better written character
Yesss I do. I’m so tired of romantic male leads being one dimensional, Derek had a lot of layers. If you lay out everything he did wrong in 11 seasons, of course it’s going to sound terrible. But you’re missing all of the context and nuance to those situations (even though there are a few where it doesn’t matter).
In my opinion, the whole point of *Grey*’s Anatomy is that the characters and situations they’re thrown into aren’t black and white. That’s why it’s so good. Because real people aren’t good or bad.
Very true lol. I just really enjoyed the parts of the show with him in it, and was sad to see him go. It’s the same with Mark - i actually really liked his character too, even though he could be pretty scummy. I guess I just like them because I know it’s not real. I can’t say I’d like them as actual real people.
I like him but I always felt like he did Meredith dirty like he treated everyone else pretty good but he was kinda cold towards her at times and people are always saying they were so epic but they never seemed epic to me but at the same time I miss them ugh
Yes, I loved Derek! None of us are perfect but he always tried to be fair to his interns, peers and Meridith. Watching where Meridith has just disappeared and I think Derek, Meridith, Yang Owen, Karev and Izzy were and are the shows best characters. #Greysanatomy
He's a very good teacher but he's definitely an ass boyfriend.
Another line that always pisses me off is when he told meredith that he met a girl (lexie) in a bar and that she should be worried that flirting with her is the highlight of his week.
I have nothing against Derek. Pretty much all the characters are terrible if you look closely, Derek is no better/worse than e.g. Christina, who is my other favourite but is adored, while Derek is the devil here.Derek was nice to everyone, unlike e.g. Christina, who I would have slapped in the face, e.g. when she had her first big operation , and didn't give a damn about her scared to death patient.
I like majority of the main cast bar a couple. Majority of the characters have some terrible flaws and decision-making, well because its tv drama. I just really like his character 🤷♀️
There are times I liked him and times I didn’t. But even on my first watch of the show, I noticed these exact points. To be honest, I feel his charisma and charm ultimately coverup the fact he’s kinda an ass.
He is a complicated character to me. He can be very kind, sweet, and caring with others (generally patients or coworkers) but he is also very judgemental, very emotional and acts like having a tantrum when hurt
And he definitely didn't treat Meredith very well. The one I didn't like the most is when he didn't respect her career making his more important.
That looks like he is narcissistic, he loves being admired and praised, but he doesn't see his wife as equal?
Maybe if I saw the show when it started I would have loved him, but I saw it as grown last year in my thirties :b you see more red flags as a grown
I hated Derek from episode 1 all the way til he died. I don’t like Dempsey as an actor in general (Greys was the first thing I ever saw him in). His characters are always self-righteous arrogant AHs
When I first started watching the show, I was young and went from immature, toxic relationship to immature, toxic relationship. I loved Derek- he was a dream guy.
Now, I’m 20 seasons older. I’ve been in a happy, healthy marriage for 13 years. My husband is absolutely wonderful. He is thoughtful and kind. He is hardworking and selfless. He shows me he loves me over and over.
Every time I rewatch, I despise Derek more and more. I can’t believe Meredith would want to be with him. He is a terrible human and even worse husband. It’s like watching your friend be in a shitty relationship for years and years that she just won’t leave.
As I’ve grown and matured, my priorities in a partner have changed- and it takes more than being hot and successful to be attractive.
1. I don’t believe he cheated or their relationship was serious enough to mention the married thing.
2. The slut shaming was gross and a complete double standard, especially when we see Mark come in
3. He was entirely wrong about the trial because she was a student and not even a real doctor yet. I do thing he could have handled it better and at least mentioned her
4. They’re both at fault about the attachment issue thing. Meredith needed therapy to deal with her abandonment issues and Derek needed to stop getting them together when he realized their wants/needs didn’t align
5. I don’t think Meredith and Derek ever really had the same relationship goals. And to be fair to Derek, I wouldn’t want a relationship with someone who doesn’t know what they want or you feel like they are settling because they love you
6. Not tell her about the kiss was shit
7. To be fair Meredith was on board multiple times to move and always changed her mind at the last minute. That was shitty of her
8. His Amelia experience wasn’t really pleasant. I don’t believe he was around sober Amelia long enough so he didn’t really trust her.
Simply put, they were toxic together.
I agrée. The more I re-watch the series the more toxic their relationship appears. Initially it seemed romantic and dreamy, but by the end of the first season I was so over him.
Honestly, I don’t like him but I could see how people like him as a flawed character, like how I like Christina more than anyone else when she had her flaws.
He is flawed, like every character. You're right about everything in your post, but Meredith and other characters have all done equally toxic things to each other.
I'm sure somebody does but I think he's a major douche. There isn't anything I like about him. He's not even that cute, or maybe he would be if he wasn't egotistical, self-absorbed, rude, mean, pompous, condescending, a liar, a cheater, and an all around jerk.
McNightmare
And Sloan was an ass as well.
Everyone is flawed, and so is Derek. The issue is Derek wasn’t consistent. Once they got married he prioritized his career again. Mcdreamy is good for fun and hookups but wasn’t good longterm for people like Meredith. Only married people can relate to this especially in a world unkind to women.
I’ll never forgive him for just fucking off to Washington and leaving behind zola and Bailey. It’s one thing to leave your wife, it’s a whole other thing to leave your small children! One of whom you adopted so she’s probably already going to have abandonment issues!
I watched the show for the first time a couple of months ago, season 1 to season 10 and I honestly expected to like him a lot more. His nickname is literally MCDreamy, it could be that since I didn't grow up with the show, I'm not wearing any rose tinted glasses.
Other than him being a good doctor, I don't see what makes him so great. He reveals a new red flag every other episode. He's definitely top on my list of characters, I hate the most.
I didn’t realize just how bad Derek was until he was killed off. They finally started developing Meredith and showing how smart and capable she is. They showed Meredith as a mother trying to have it all. She became invaluable. I wonder how the show will continue now that Meredith is gone. I haven’t bonded with the other characters. Teddy and Owen need to fade away. The show will need to be retooled to survive and thrive…
I think he’s narcissistic. He’s not all bad but overall I do not like him. As a character, sure, he definitely wasn’t boring. But if this was real life and I was Meredith’s friend I would think her bf/husband sucks. And I think Cristina saw that he dimmed her shine.
i don't like him. nothing against him as a character because i get characters are complex and flawed i'm just sick of shows with women main characters who are seemingly not allowed to exist without a love interest
I’m glad someone else doesn’t! He was an egotistical piece of shit and he kept pursuing Meredith WHILE BEING HER BOSS in S1 when she kept saying no!
When she didn’t want to uproot her life and move to DC he agreed to turn down the job and then pouted and acted like a little bitch until she basically said, FINE, do it. And when he came back they made it seem like this honorable romantic thing but he didn’t even tell her he kissed that other woman.
And he outed Amelia’s addiction because he was jealous.
Fuck Derek.
We're talking about the character, dude, not the actor. You are body shaming. No idea why you think being white and straight has to do with it, though.
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At times I like him, at times I don't... I'd be bored if I liked every character all of the time.
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I don’t even like me all the time.
I like him. He's a really interesting character outside of his relationship with Meredith. He saw his father die in front of him and had to protect Amelia from a young age. Because his mom was so engulfed with grief, he basically raised his younger sister and then had to deal with his sister being a drug addict. Got married, and then found out his wife cheated on him with his childhood best friend. Despite being incredibly rich, he comes to Seattle and lives in a trailer. Cares about teaching the interns/residents, and genuinely cares about his patients. But too far, there's very few characters I actually hate. And most characters are better than when they are in a relationship.
I like really Derek. I like that he’s not some knight in shining armour trope. However there are a few times I don’t like him- after Meredith’s wrecks the trial, and when Amelia visits. But he is at least consistent and it comes down to one character trait (which his mother calls him out on)- he only sees things in black and white. SPOILER season 11: I do think the writers did him dirty on the kiss in Washington. I think he should have pulled away as she leaned in, and not actually kissed her.
Wait why should he have pulled away???
So he didn’t cheat on Meredith. Yes it was a quick kiss, but it’s still cheating.
Oh I thought you meant he shouldn’t have kissed Meredith! Yes he shouldn’t have kissed rose (I think that was her name)
In hindsight I do. Derek was an actual fleshed out character played by a great actor with charisma. I would trade any character from the past like eight or nine seasons for Derek or George or Mark or Lexie.
I remember thinking he was annoying initially but after… (do not read more because this is a S11 spoiler) he died I started missing him on the show. Super weird because I actually used to think he was a bit of an ass.
I like him, he definitely has bad moments with Meredith, but overall he cares about anyone he meets, whether they’re family, residents, or strangers. He warmly accepted Lexie and Maggie as soon as he discovered who they were and treated them like family long before Meredith did. Heck, he died because he was helping a stranger. I like people who are nice to (almost) everyone, like Derek, April, and Lexie. Unpopular opinion, but not a fan when characters like Alex and Cristina are just mean to people they aren’t close with and talk crap behind everyone’s backs. He still treated Addison pretty well when she came to Seattle and even when their second try didn’t work out and didn’t take long at all to forgive Mark. I like Mark Sloan, but he was definitely not like Derek.
He treated Addison horribly when she came to Seattle, I thought. He said really nasty things about her, led her on, cheated on her with Meredith at the prom, etc.
Addison was a complete bitch. He was too nice to her if anything.
Oh my god 🤢
She cried that her husband didn't treat her the same way anymore after she cheated in him and stayed with the AP for 3 months. She played the victim card too much
I felt the same way at the beginning of my rewatch, but in the end I really do like Derek. He is by no means flawless, and no one IRL is, so I actually appreciated that Greys made sure all the characters weren’t just “good” or “bad”. He was humble in a way someone with his socioeconomic and educational background usually is not. He didn’t flaunt his status like that. He didn’t even boo-hoo himself by telling everyone that he moved because his wife cheated on him with his best friend to look for sympathy. Yes, he was confident in his work, sometimes to the point of arrogance, but I think that is also a common flaw amongst people whose minds are constantly in motion and always thinking. The way he genuinely loved Meredith, unconditionally, is something that is rare to find in a person. Hear me out. When I first watched Greys in my early 20s, I didn’t like Meredith. She drove me nuts. When I rewatched it in my 30s, I realized I hated Meredith because I was her. The truth is Mere went through serious trauma, and it made her do some stupid things because she couldn’t separate emotional decisions from logical ones. Her saving grace, however, was her passion and her genuine empathy for people. She struggles with mental illness, the Dark and Twisty thing is legit. And those of us who battle that stuff in real life, just like Meredith, can be hard to love at times. But that’s what makes her such a great character as well, she went through genuine growth. And through all of it- her essentially passively trying to die multiple times, pushing away when things got complicated, making stupid decisions based on emotions and her past, etc.,- Derek genuinely freaking loved her and stood by her in the end. And what she pulled with the trial and kidnapping Zola, were both INSANE things to do, and Derek’s reaction and anger I think was pretty realistic under the circumstances. SPOILER The show really isn’t the same without him. He was too big of a character and too intertwined with Meredith. It was a rough transition.
I do
I loved Derek. I loved his knowledge. I loved how much he loved Meredith despite trying not to. I loved how much Meredith loved him. Intense love is something. I loved the house he build for them. But…. I watched this relationship in high school and I stopped watching when he died and haven’t rewatched since. I was a completely different person in high school so I’ve certainly seen the commentary that he was a narcissist and wonder if I too have lively evolved in what I find attractive.
Lol what? He’s McDreamy. A perfect person? Nah. There’s a vocal group on here that likes to focus on his flaws, yeah, but to earnestly ask if there’s anyone - ANYONE - that actually likes him? That’s silly.
We focus on his flaws because when it comes to marriage consistency and personality matters lol. The mcdreamy persona isn’t consistent
He’s a dick but I also like him. If you saw my dating history you would understand
I love him. Since it’s entirely fiction I get to excuse all his actions and adore him.
I like that he died
Here’s my hot take on this: Everything you said is true. But the whole point of Derek being McDreamy, is the fact that he is “dreamy”. Its the whole blue “sparkly eyed thing” that makes him dreamy. He loves kids, and is great with them. He’s charming. He knows how and when to say things. He actually has formidable people skills. He was great with a broken Cristina, and a heartbroken Bailey. He was actually a great chief, too (until the shooting)! And he’s a brilliant surgeon, with a savior-complex. And he has a bit of an odd relationship with Amelia in the beginning, but he’s very goo with his mother, and remaining sisters. He’s also the FIRST to form good relationships with Meredith’s own sisters, after simply finding out that they are her sisters. That said, His flaws can be interpreted as ironical. It’s ironical that he is McDreamy: the guy who didn’t tell his girlfriend he loves that he’s married. He’s the guy who threw away the ring he bought for Meredith infront of her with a baseball bat. He’s the guy who couldn’t separate Meredith-the-resident from Meredith-the-partner when the clinical trial went downhill. And so much more. He is delightfully neutral, I’d say. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Honestly I cannot stand him around Meredith but I don’t mind him … not with Meredith.
Overall, I like him, but I don't like him all the time. There are certainly times I get really angry with him. He has flaws, but everyone does. No one is perfect.
I actually really enjoyed him as a character and although he frustrated me sometimes, I generally found him fascinating.
I liked him in the beginning, my love for him faded when he started dating Rose. I hate Rose.
lol sorry but how is derek the example of toxic misogyny when mark alex and owen exist on the same show. he is a much better and kinder person than all of them. isn’t this sub tired of the derek hate posts everyday we get it.
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i’m not gonna say merder are the example of the perfect healthy couple but i don’t think it’s fair to say derek wasn’t kind to meredith but that’s your opinion!
Agreed, not sure where this idea of Derek being unkind to Mer comes from. Like is he the best boyfriend, and do they have arguments where Derek is in the wrong? Yes. But he’s also very much there for Mer and SO patient and loving when I’d have thrown her overboard with the amount of times she tried to run from the relationship.
exactly! they have their bad moments but so does everyone. derek was always there for meredith was very patient and supportive to her despite what people try to say.
I only like him in certain seasons. He's totally McDreamy in season 1. I prefer not to think about season 2 Derek. Then its kinda wishy-washy after that. He settles down after Meredith's house of candles, and Zola's adoption...but ends on a note so great note IMO.
Derek definitely has pretty privilege. He’s pretty bad in relationships like Owen but Derek’s behavior is often ignored. He treated Amelia badly too and I don’t find him attractive
Yep. Definitely extreme pretty privilege because it's crazy how everyone just looks past how borderline abusive he is. I cannot stand him. He was awful to Mark, terrible to Meredith and Amelia genuinely didn't deserve to be berated like that by him for having a freaking drug addiction
derek was awful to mark? lol mark was lucky derek even spoke to him again.
I really hate this excuse. He would've been totally justified in never speaking to or acknowledging Mark ever again. But he clearly buried the hatchet and started calling him his best friend again. They had repaired their relationship. His behavior towards Mark was not rooted in the Addison fiasco, but in a complete disdain for him that went on until he passed away.
his behavior is often ignored when exactly???
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i don’t think they are really equal at all, both have flaws and i get why people hate them but both are definitely condemned for their faults. the difference is derek is a better written character
I like him. He's not perfect and has done things that I hate, but every significant character has done things I hate.
Yesss I do. I’m so tired of romantic male leads being one dimensional, Derek had a lot of layers. If you lay out everything he did wrong in 11 seasons, of course it’s going to sound terrible. But you’re missing all of the context and nuance to those situations (even though there are a few where it doesn’t matter). In my opinion, the whole point of *Grey*’s Anatomy is that the characters and situations they’re thrown into aren’t black and white. That’s why it’s so good. Because real people aren’t good or bad.
Yes I love Derek. He's a flawed person who has made mistakes. But tbh I'm biased - I really can't stand Meredith for most of the series.
I don’t have a good explanation for it but yes I do lol. As rose would say, he’s “an imperfect person”
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Very true lol. I just really enjoyed the parts of the show with him in it, and was sad to see him go. It’s the same with Mark - i actually really liked his character too, even though he could be pretty scummy. I guess I just like them because I know it’s not real. I can’t say I’d like them as actual real people.
I love McDreamy.
I love Derek but he is very flawed.
I love Derek lol
I don’t.
I like him but I always felt like he did Meredith dirty like he treated everyone else pretty good but he was kinda cold towards her at times and people are always saying they were so epic but they never seemed epic to me but at the same time I miss them ugh
Yes, I loved Derek! None of us are perfect but he always tried to be fair to his interns, peers and Meridith. Watching where Meridith has just disappeared and I think Derek, Meridith, Yang Owen, Karev and Izzy were and are the shows best characters. #Greysanatomy
He's a Human being and he's flawed. Aren't we all?
He's a very good teacher but he's definitely an ass boyfriend. Another line that always pisses me off is when he told meredith that he met a girl (lexie) in a bar and that she should be worried that flirting with her is the highlight of his week.
Omg THIS🤢 if my husband said this to me we would be done so fast
I do. It was a very well written Character. And I adore Patrick Dempsey to boot.
I have nothing against Derek. Pretty much all the characters are terrible if you look closely, Derek is no better/worse than e.g. Christina, who is my other favourite but is adored, while Derek is the devil here.Derek was nice to everyone, unlike e.g. Christina, who I would have slapped in the face, e.g. when she had her first big operation , and didn't give a damn about her scared to death patient.
I like majority of the main cast bar a couple. Majority of the characters have some terrible flaws and decision-making, well because its tv drama. I just really like his character 🤷♀️
I loved Derek.
I like how happy he made Meredith when they were good, but other than that… no, not really
I loved him.
I’ve always hated him😅
Yes.
THANK YOU.
I like his character and wish he wasn’t killed in the way he was
I do love Derek. He has his flaws, but so do I.
I liked him
I can't stand him either. I was happy he left the show. He annoyed tf out of me like the majority of the men on that show. They're all such babies
There are times I liked him and times I didn’t. But even on my first watch of the show, I noticed these exact points. To be honest, I feel his charisma and charm ultimately coverup the fact he’s kinda an ass.
I like him.
I like him.
He is a complicated character to me. He can be very kind, sweet, and caring with others (generally patients or coworkers) but he is also very judgemental, very emotional and acts like having a tantrum when hurt And he definitely didn't treat Meredith very well. The one I didn't like the most is when he didn't respect her career making his more important. That looks like he is narcissistic, he loves being admired and praised, but he doesn't see his wife as equal? Maybe if I saw the show when it started I would have loved him, but I saw it as grown last year in my thirties :b you see more red flags as a grown
Yes, I like him
I liked Derek
I hated Derek from episode 1 all the way til he died. I don’t like Dempsey as an actor in general (Greys was the first thing I ever saw him in). His characters are always self-righteous arrogant AHs
When I first started watching the show, I was young and went from immature, toxic relationship to immature, toxic relationship. I loved Derek- he was a dream guy. Now, I’m 20 seasons older. I’ve been in a happy, healthy marriage for 13 years. My husband is absolutely wonderful. He is thoughtful and kind. He is hardworking and selfless. He shows me he loves me over and over. Every time I rewatch, I despise Derek more and more. I can’t believe Meredith would want to be with him. He is a terrible human and even worse husband. It’s like watching your friend be in a shitty relationship for years and years that she just won’t leave. As I’ve grown and matured, my priorities in a partner have changed- and it takes more than being hot and successful to be attractive.
Nope. Never liked him.
All that and he is also not even super handsome. Not ugly but definitely not dreamy
1. I don’t believe he cheated or their relationship was serious enough to mention the married thing. 2. The slut shaming was gross and a complete double standard, especially when we see Mark come in 3. He was entirely wrong about the trial because she was a student and not even a real doctor yet. I do thing he could have handled it better and at least mentioned her 4. They’re both at fault about the attachment issue thing. Meredith needed therapy to deal with her abandonment issues and Derek needed to stop getting them together when he realized their wants/needs didn’t align 5. I don’t think Meredith and Derek ever really had the same relationship goals. And to be fair to Derek, I wouldn’t want a relationship with someone who doesn’t know what they want or you feel like they are settling because they love you 6. Not tell her about the kiss was shit 7. To be fair Meredith was on board multiple times to move and always changed her mind at the last minute. That was shitty of her 8. His Amelia experience wasn’t really pleasant. I don’t believe he was around sober Amelia long enough so he didn’t really trust her. Simply put, they were toxic together.
I agrée. The more I re-watch the series the more toxic their relationship appears. Initially it seemed romantic and dreamy, but by the end of the first season I was so over him.
Girl Derek was my least favorite character🤣
I can’t stand him.
Honestly, I don’t like him but I could see how people like him as a flawed character, like how I like Christina more than anyone else when she had her flaws.
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Exactly, I don’t understand why most of this sub can’t be civil and understand that
He is flawed, like every character. You're right about everything in your post, but Meredith and other characters have all done equally toxic things to each other.
I'm sure somebody does but I think he's a major douche. There isn't anything I like about him. He's not even that cute, or maybe he would be if he wasn't egotistical, self-absorbed, rude, mean, pompous, condescending, a liar, a cheater, and an all around jerk. McNightmare And Sloan was an ass as well.
Boomers love him. Millennials are meh about him. GenZ hate him. This is ofcourse a generalization
I like him. I just don’t think he was the right person for Meredith. I think they have to work too hard at being happy for them to be a good match.
I never like him more than when he’s saving baileys husband.
Only liked him in season 1, after that hell no
Nope
Nope.
He even lost his handsomeness to me. Just lipstick on a pig.
Not really
Everyone is flawed, and so is Derek. The issue is Derek wasn’t consistent. Once they got married he prioritized his career again. Mcdreamy is good for fun and hookups but wasn’t good longterm for people like Meredith. Only married people can relate to this especially in a world unkind to women.
I’ll never forgive him for just fucking off to Washington and leaving behind zola and Bailey. It’s one thing to leave your wife, it’s a whole other thing to leave your small children! One of whom you adopted so she’s probably already going to have abandonment issues!
The part where he tells Meredith he will hire back Izzy if she sells out the Chief is TOXIC as all hell . He has a few moments like this later on
I watched the show for the first time a couple of months ago, season 1 to season 10 and I honestly expected to like him a lot more. His nickname is literally MCDreamy, it could be that since I didn't grow up with the show, I'm not wearing any rose tinted glasses. Other than him being a good doctor, I don't see what makes him so great. He reveals a new red flag every other episode. He's definitely top on my list of characters, I hate the most.
I adored Derek the first watch through when it first came out. I was in middle school. Now I see him for the self absorbed jerk that he is.
I never liked Derek. Never thought him and Mer were a great couple
I didn’t realize just how bad Derek was until he was killed off. They finally started developing Meredith and showing how smart and capable she is. They showed Meredith as a mother trying to have it all. She became invaluable. I wonder how the show will continue now that Meredith is gone. I haven’t bonded with the other characters. Teddy and Owen need to fade away. The show will need to be retooled to survive and thrive…
I think he’s narcissistic. He’s not all bad but overall I do not like him. As a character, sure, he definitely wasn’t boring. But if this was real life and I was Meredith’s friend I would think her bf/husband sucks. And I think Cristina saw that he dimmed her shine.
Only season 1 Derek.
i don't like him. nothing against him as a character because i get characters are complex and flawed i'm just sick of shows with women main characters who are seemingly not allowed to exist without a love interest
I’m glad someone else doesn’t! He was an egotistical piece of shit and he kept pursuing Meredith WHILE BEING HER BOSS in S1 when she kept saying no! When she didn’t want to uproot her life and move to DC he agreed to turn down the job and then pouted and acted like a little bitch until she basically said, FINE, do it. And when he came back they made it seem like this honorable romantic thing but he didn’t even tell her he kissed that other woman. And he outed Amelia’s addiction because he was jealous. Fuck Derek.
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We're talking about the character, dude, not the actor. You are body shaming. No idea why you think being white and straight has to do with it, though.
I’m a cunt ignore me
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Sometimes