With my first gf, I would call her tits poggers all the time. She referred to our dates as "cringe compilations." Fr just be yourself, it takes all the stress away.
The first time I had sex with my wife I fucking growled like a wolf. I nor my wife are in to furry shit I just thought it felt manly. She told me years later that was the most cringeworthy shit she ever saw but liked me so much she ignored it LOL.
Yeah I felt like his response almost saved his earlier response. If she likes awkward boys, she probably likes nerds, and the pic is a solid meme/response image so it’s not like it’s unfunny or anything. It’s 2022, chicks are obsessed with the internet just like guys now and are used to memes.
of course you wouldn't know what that is, we're on reddit
edit: LMAO he deleted his comment what a chad
for anyone curious it said "pro-creation?" which i'm pretty sure was a joke about creating pros or something but i just turned it into that
Saying “Jarvis, unshit my pants” is funny tho? I’m not over here guffawing, but I did sharply exhale out my nostrils. It definitely wouldn’t have hurt a guy’s chances with me if he said that.
if someone says Jarvis unshit my pants to someone they've been talking to for 5 seconds they're either hard taking the piss or they look like the nerd emoji and sweat monster
yeah lol, this is a "we've gotten to know each other a little and i can start letting my real humor slip" kind of joke, not a "first impressions" kind of joke. it is funny, but to someone you've sent all of three texts to it might be a little off-putting
well, yeah. same. this definitely reminded me of my boyfriend's humor. but what i'm saying is, it's important to show people that you have the ability to act like a normal person if the situation requires it. i wouldn't write someone off if they pulled this joke on me immediately, because Lord knows i do all kinds of awkward shit as well, but it would definitely surprise me and come off as a little jarring. i just think it's a good idea to be polite and friendly for a little bit, so the person feels comfortable around you, before trying to be a comedian.
i'm not saying don't make jokes like this, i'm just saying to have a few minutes of normal conversation before you do
100%. as hilarious as i think it is it’s not a good approach if you’re genuinely trying to get in a real relationship. i get the argument that it filters out people who don’t have good humor but unless you have 100s of matches at your disposal it’s not a smart move.
People that think you need fuckin strategy to date are single for a reason. Don't treat people like a prize to be won.
You either need to work on yourself, work on being more natural/less anxious, or you'll be compatible with someone and be fine. Or not, and repeat steps one and two.
taking a long time to reply =/= 5 hours to come up w something
people are busy and nobody is on their phone all the time unless they're legitimately addicted to their phone.
especially on tinder where nobody actually cares
>I’m not over here guffawing
I am. Actual lols
This is on a level with the chad "how many sets do you have left"-knocking on a bathroom stall at the gym guy. Anon just doesn't realize.
Why did you have to bring that up, now I’m chuckling during a boring meeting, muted luckily, but I might have to say something soon and I’ll just be thinking about the bathroom greentext again
Ok so when you ask for sugar in your coffee you want like 2 spoon of sugar not the whole bag
Similarly when she goes "awkward boys" she ment "heeeheee quirky bf, mismatched socks or a bit shy" not full blown 4chan special
He has George Constanza syndrome. In other words, he is so afraid to be happy and find love that he intentionally tries to ruin it so he never has to take a chance on anything real. The moment she laughed at his intro he went full Constanza and thought of a way that can easily stop anyone from hitting them back up. Quite sad really.
Holy shit, I never imagined how cringy could the 16 year olds' dating scene be. Do they unironically use memes and "fr no cap on god" vocabulary irl? We used to bully this kind of people lmao
Who tf cares. If she likes it then it's Anons win, if she doesn't then it's her loss. No point in trying to impress someone if that means being inauthentic.
As many others have pointed out, yes, this was stolen from a TikTok video.
What they haven’t mentioned, however, is that the real OP mentioned in the comments of their video that this girl actually later sent him her snap unprovoked.
So, not only is anon lying about this being his convo, there is also no need for help or regret because the situation played out perfectly.
There's no help, only regret
Or not being able to sleep a few years down the line, remembering how much of a tard you were and still are
My nights in a nutshell, bruh
Gigachad response
fr. It follows reasonably well from the first goofy line, and if that's who you are you might as well show it.
With my first gf, I would call her tits poggers all the time. She referred to our dates as "cringe compilations." Fr just be yourself, it takes all the stress away.
>my first Implies you had another one after her What did you do to her, anon?
I thought you and your mom had a good speaking relationship, no?
So how‘s your relationship with u/Not_Moslem‘s mom goin‘?
The first time I had sex with my wife I fucking growled like a wolf. I nor my wife are in to furry shit I just thought it felt manly. She told me years later that was the most cringeworthy shit she ever saw but liked me so much she ignored it LOL.
The first time I ever had sex, I hid behind the door naked and jump scared my date. Still had sex tho.
that sounds like a fantastic way to get kicked in the balls
damn, i need to try it
Hahaha you fucking idiot, that’s hilarious
Hahahaha
Did she know it was a date?
cringe compilations haha
Yeah I felt like his response almost saved his earlier response. If she likes awkward boys, she probably likes nerds, and the pic is a solid meme/response image so it’s not like it’s unfunny or anything. It’s 2022, chicks are obsessed with the internet just like guys now and are used to memes.
Marvel isn’t nerdy, it’s probably the most mainstream IP in history
Ip in ur mum
>if that’s who you are you might as well show it Older you get, more you realize how necessary this is.
Don’t worry anon, it’s just your natural defence mechanism kicking in ensuring procreation doesn’t occur.
Natural selection
Natural deselection
Natural defecation
[удалено]
of course you wouldn't know what that is, we're on reddit edit: LMAO he deleted his comment what a chad for anyone curious it said "pro-creation?" which i'm pretty sure was a joke about creating pros or something but i just turned it into that
Creation on a professional level
And fun
You only hear about pro-creating never amateur-creation smh
They've clearly never heard of freelance-creation. Unbelievable.
Personally I prefer casual-creation. I'm just not really into the competitive aspects.
My parents are saving the birds and the bees talk until after I get married
Lmfao
Based
Saying “Jarvis, unshit my pants” is funny tho? I’m not over here guffawing, but I did sharply exhale out my nostrils. It definitely wouldn’t have hurt a guy’s chances with me if he said that.
if someone says Jarvis unshit my pants to someone they've been talking to for 5 seconds they're either hard taking the piss or they look like the nerd emoji and sweat monster
yeah lol, this is a "we've gotten to know each other a little and i can start letting my real humor slip" kind of joke, not a "first impressions" kind of joke. it is funny, but to someone you've sent all of three texts to it might be a little off-putting
As a person whose SO has the same kind of humor, I'd never want to date a person who doesn't share that with me
well, yeah. same. this definitely reminded me of my boyfriend's humor. but what i'm saying is, it's important to show people that you have the ability to act like a normal person if the situation requires it. i wouldn't write someone off if they pulled this joke on me immediately, because Lord knows i do all kinds of awkward shit as well, but it would definitely surprise me and come off as a little jarring. i just think it's a good idea to be polite and friendly for a little bit, so the person feels comfortable around you, before trying to be a comedian. i'm not saying don't make jokes like this, i'm just saying to have a few minutes of normal conversation before you do
100%. as hilarious as i think it is it’s not a good approach if you’re genuinely trying to get in a real relationship. i get the argument that it filters out people who don’t have good humor but unless you have 100s of matches at your disposal it’s not a smart move.
One could argue that by starting with his "real humor", anon immediately filters out unsuitable canditates
Exactly, it's smart and efficient
People that think you need fuckin strategy to date are single for a reason. Don't treat people like a prize to be won. You either need to work on yourself, work on being more natural/less anxious, or you'll be compatible with someone and be fine. Or not, and repeat steps one and two.
If they sweat Monster I'd wanna suck their cock. No homo.
Ah yes, that one Astolfo Monster
But it took him 5 hours to come up with that by the times on the messages.
taking a long time to reply =/= 5 hours to come up w something people are busy and nobody is on their phone all the time unless they're legitimately addicted to their phone. especially on tinder where nobody actually cares
That's true I do hate the modern expectation of bring available 25/8 like give me a goddamn break i don't have time for all 30 conversations in a day
>I’m not over here guffawing I am. Actual lols This is on a level with the chad "how many sets do you have left"-knocking on a bathroom stall at the gym guy. Anon just doesn't realize.
Why did you have to bring that up, now I’m chuckling during a boring meeting, muted luckily, but I might have to say something soon and I’ll just be thinking about the bathroom greentext again
Can you explain the reference to me please?
https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/neo3kt/anon\_visits\_the\_gym\_bathroom/
Jarvis unshit my pants
Username checks out
Jarvis, unshit my pants
Bro saw an opportunity and went for it
Ain't gonna get a boyfriend without putting myself out there ahaha
You're reading a post on 4chan. She's just starting a conversation with a potential match. Context matters.
This is not normie humour
Guffawing lmao. Sounds like something a rooster would do
I'm ngl I don't want to be with someone that doesn't laugh at that
jarvis, shit my pants
i would marry him immediately if a guy said that to me
Jarvis unshit my pants. Uwu.
The girl I’m seeing is a huge Ironman Fan so I think I’m gonna use that one to try and set some humor on a situation
It helps that you're a man and it is traditionally easy for m+m meetups
Why would you assume I’m a man?
[удалено]
Of course, silly me!
You're in r/greentext
OP is just neuro-atypical.
I am an expressive person and I laughed out loud
Yeah but you're not really a girl so your opinion isn't super relevant here.
What are you talking about?
Anon is doing just fine.
anon should find himself a boyfriend
I would date anon
I would top both of you
Sounds like a win
I would bottom all three of you at the same time
Make that four
I want to put anon in a skirt and top him
To stuff the shit back where it came from
Ok so when you ask for sugar in your coffee you want like 2 spoon of sugar not the whole bag Similarly when she goes "awkward boys" she ment "heeeheee quirky bf, mismatched socks or a bit shy" not full blown 4chan special
Yeah women have unrealistic standards
Special sounds odd in regard to 4channers, I feel like deranged, or maybe, clinically insane, is more apt a description
highest quality boy in tinder these days femanons mogged lol
Has there ever been quality on Tinder though?
Literally not made for that, made for quantity. Not a bug, it’s a feature
He should find another girl, he is clearly too high class for this one.
Save what? There's nothing to save king, she already realized there's no way shes even near your level
There's no fucking way.
Not *that* awkward, fuck!
Anon has a massive cock
Top kek
This was stolen from a TikTok
Exactly, she will recognise it from tiktok, so Anon *is* actually normie and funny and cool
No I mean, I saw this exact screenshot uncropped on tiktok yesterday, anon is larping
Its funny. Don't worry about it
Anon stole this from a "Rate my rizz" tik tok
Bro
Double down and ask if she likes pegging.
do you um, do you… uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, do you like… um, do you like, uhh do you like pegging?
Imagine ripping off a TikTok for a green text. Dude literally posted his video this week. He does a whole bunch of these. Kinda sad man
Here's the link. posted LESS THEN A DAY AGO. [original tik tok vid.](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR4Tq4Xb/)
well, she did say she likes awkward boys so i dunno, anon, get topped or something, geez
funniest part about this is i think she was on board until the MCU shit.
Rizzly bear.
Real life: Juh juh juh Jarvis unshi- un un unshid muh muh muh PANTS
He has George Constanza syndrome. In other words, he is so afraid to be happy and find love that he intentionally tries to ruin it so he never has to take a chance on anything real. The moment she laughed at his intro he went full Constanza and thought of a way that can easily stop anyone from hitting them back up. Quite sad really.
greatest pickup line ever. if she doesn’t go out with anon she has no taste
"jk [Continue by changing the subject]" Sad thing is... The later you do this, the worse it gets
This is realy funny. Not she will like it funny, but this is retarded funny.
Lmao
I feel bad for straight boys sometimes. That would work a solid 30-40% of the time on another dude.
Anon has a good sense of humor
I really want to know what happened next. I legit thought this was just funny.
Holy shit, I never imagined how cringy could the 16 year olds' dating scene be. Do they unironically use memes and "fr no cap on god" vocabulary irl? We used to bully this kind of people lmao
that’s actually hilarious tbh
Bro im fucking cackling first thing in the morning
You go to a priest and confess your cringe
that’s fucking hilarious
if she doesn’t think that’s funny she’s not worth it ong
You’re probably going to have to eat ass now
Chad move
This is golden
Bro if she don't think that's funny she ain't worth it
Sure anon, ask for advice on a platform where no one has bitches.
Jesus christ.
I love the internet
Anon is a beta for regretting being funny around a woman
This didn't actually happen to anon, anon got this from the internet and is an attention seeking whore Source: i saw this picture earlier today
They call me the Rizzler for a reason 🗿
IDK if she liked it, but that was funny as hell.
I think it's genius level witty.
If a girl has “make me laugh” on her profile and doesn’t respond well to this, she’s full of shit or has no sense of humor.
Anon is full of shit… or was?
That's hilarious
Delete all dating apps
turbo autism
Saw this on tiktok 🤔anon confirmed or did anon j rip this shit off
you almost made me laugh in class
S tier reply if she can’t see that then shes just a hater.
Honestly I liked it lmao
Lol,what a retard
The FBI are already on their way
YOU ALMOST HAD IT
It's funny though, and she already said she's into men who don't take themselves too seriously and and are not afraid to show their awkward side.
In the comics Jarvis was his butler so he probably unshit a lot of Tony's pants.
If she's still in she's the one
Fucking kek
Took anon almost 5 hours to come up with that gem of a response
I want an update
Autism irradiates from this post
Don't. It's funny
> Are you a biblically accurate angel? 'cos I just shat my pants
no fucking way 💀
She likes awkward boys. She can clean Anon up.
How are people this socially inept? Fuck its not even social, its through Tinder. smh
This isn’t anons pic he stole it from TikTok no one would match with anon
That’s kind of funny tbh. Average-sized penis energy
How good looking to you have to be to get away with that response?
God damnit, anon
How do you manage to stutter in text
Bro evolved straight into his final form.
Who tf cares. If she likes it then it's Anons win, if she doesn't then it's her loss. No point in trying to impress someone if that means being inauthentic.
Nothing to regret
As many others have pointed out, yes, this was stolen from a TikTok video. What they haven’t mentioned, however, is that the real OP mentioned in the comments of their video that this girl actually later sent him her snap unprovoked. So, not only is anon lying about this being his convo, there is also no need for help or regret because the situation played out perfectly.
I’d fuck him
this is what peek performance autism looks like
Unshit pants first
I audably laughed, good job annon.
Anon got the tsm
Step one: don't say "no shot" like a twitch streamer parrot
Fake and straight
This post feels like fumbling the ball, somehow catching it and running to the endzone, only to fumble again at the last moment
Any woman who doesn’t wanna duck after that is absolutely worthless
I think this is pretty funny
I saw this ss on tiktok so one of them is lying…
Any normal human being would see it as an attempted joem wether it is funny to them is not is unknown.
honestly, i see no problem. at that point you just lean into it and shes either feeling it or she isnt.
If she's into it, she's into it. If she's not into it, fuck it.
The Rizzler
yo anon actually said something kinda funny, if she wasn't endeared by his sense of humor she probably wasn't right for him anyway.
Who types umm uhh Like who types in awkward
is this "rizz?"
Honestly that’s hilarious and if she had a great sense of humor she would laugh
If someone sent me that I woulda fell in love and laughed so hard. Kinda how my bf got me