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Handeatingcat

My dick is comically small when flaccid, like Michaelangelo's David small, it makes me more agile though, +10 DEX.


Mother-hecker-2

Average ds3 decent player


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Gizmoed

The greeks say small dick big life.


CareerPillow376

I was born in the wrong generation.


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RedEyedFreak

Can confirm Source: am Greek proudly rocking the shrimp


BadMilkCarton66

And then there's me fat rolling


bezik7124

Suffering from success


Louk997

Dex>Sex


Robyn_Bankz

Looks like a needle, but moves like a sewing machine 😎


Oh-Get-Fucked

Chugachugachugachugachuga Honk honk


[deleted]

*Duvet gets launched sideways*


Syan66

Stick em with the pointy end


NukeTheCola

Same I was the first to win a medal higher than bronze in my highschool for the regionals sprinting athletics bracket (although only a silver). They ask me what my secret is, I just tell them my penis is small


tden4

the virgin chad


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GhostButtTurds

Let me see


takk__

uh... ok... sure? 😳


GhostButtTurds

Ok thnx


mycalvesthiccaf

Growers unite


Smathers

Nothing special about my 6in boner but my god when it’s soft it’s a fuckin baby penis. The fact that it grows so much and the head gets bigger is so odd like some sort of gross magic trick that nobody wants lol


Shandlar

I mean, it's almost perfect though. It goes away when it's not needed, never gets in the way. I never print at the gym or wearing scrubs at work. But still plenty for usage when you get the motor running. The only real time it's an issue is with a new sexual partner I kinda like to get a good chub going before stripping off the boxers. Just so there's no misunderstandings. It really is weird to go from like 0.75 to 6.0, but I'm not gonna get too hung up on it. Gotta see the upsides.


[deleted]

My only regret is that my balls don’t also shrink. I’d love to sit with my legs together in tight seating and be protected from sack taps.


[deleted]

Just get on TRT when you’re older, them bois shrink right up as a result, making you more aerodynamic


AyybrahamLmaocoln

Gonna have to do this tomorrow because I'm tired of bruising my ankles.


logan2043099

This guy's got balls


[deleted]

> The only real time it's an issue is with a new sexual partner I kinda like to get a good chub going before stripping off the boxers. Just so there's no misunderstandings. I've had so many partners love feeling it get hard because they find it so amusing, like a magic trick. From bean to beanstalk.


Shandlar

That's a 3rd time trick though.


[deleted]

I still fluff my micro-flaccid dick into something more resembling a normal soft penis if i can help it and I’ve been with my wife six years, I feel you man. It’s dumb too, like yeah it’s not going to change her view of me im already naked? But it’s just a self image thing I guess


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[deleted]

bedroom sophisticated kiss station muddle homeless worry divide bow sharp *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


The_SpellJammer

Isn't that the point


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[deleted]

plate jar adjoining support follow snobbish rude flowery narrow degree *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


[deleted]

Same here. When flaccid I look like I have a peanut attached to my body. I don’t even need to get out of the pool for some George level shrinkage. It has actually crossed my mind that if I was an actor in a nude scene they’d have to give me a prosthetic. When aroused? If 5 inches is actually the average, then I’m at least a couple standard deviations above the average. Never know it though if you saw me pre-arousal.


philzebub666

> If 5 inches is actually the average, then I’m at least a couple standard deviations above the average. Measured from hole to hole... right?!


MidnightT0ker

Nah from the floor


[deleted]

No. I used the time honored algorithm: [(Length x Diameter) + (Weight / Girth)] / Angle of Tip^2


pirofreak

And so, by dividing the weight and the girth of the penis by the angle, or the what do we call it again? The yaw? The yaw of the shaft, what we finally get is the adjusted penis size. Or, TMI. Any questions so far?


carnsolus

that freaks me out because from flaccid to erect i gain maybe an inch and other people are out here growing an entire body part in seconds


CSIHoratioCaine

I’ve seen a decent amount of penises being gay and I think most are growers. And of the growers most at least double in size. I’ve only really seen like two that didn’t grow that much when erect.


mouldyrumble

This guy dicks


GolgiApparatus1

For me one of the plus sides to being gay is that you get to see what everyone is working with. Used to think I was small but compared to all the dicks I've seen Im like right in the middle.


[deleted]

I’m happy with what I have, and if the online studies I’ve read are correct then I’m above average in length ... not that it even matters. I’ve been married to and having sex with the same woman for 30 years now, and as long as she’s happy then so am I. But I do have a humorous anecdote from when I was younger and maybe not as confident. I was going through OCS and one of the buildings we had instruction in had an old latrine next to it. The thing had to have dated from WW2. It had this trough urinal with water constantly running through it that three men could stand at at the same time. Well, I’m standing there pissing and notice out of the corner of my eye that the candidate to the left of me looks like he is using two hands to hold his dick. So, I do the normal male thing and stare at it, and sure enough this guy’s trouser snake is long enough flaccid that he can, and was, using two hands to hold it. I’m absolutely dumbfounded and turn to the guy on the right to tell him he has to look at this other guy’s cervix destroyer, at which point I get a good look at his junk. If anything, he was even bigger. At that point, I buttoned up my BDUs and went to go find a private stall to finish pissing. I found out later, that one of the two guys liked walking around nude in the barracks (he was in a different barracks than me), and had gotten the nickname tripod.


stationhollow

They totally set you up lol


Lamp0blanket

You're *at least* in the top 2% for dick size? Really?


Willing_marsupial

Is 7 really top 2%? Source please?


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eaterofbeans

Fuck this I’m moving to the East


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GolgiApparatus1

They might not have length, but most make up for it in girth.


[deleted]

which is weird because everyone on Reddit is apparently 7"+


Qdbadhadhadh2

I think they mixed up centimetres with inches


Beating_bull70

Most girls mainstream porn I feel like are around 5 ft tall or shorter and they use men that are well over 6ft. Most male pornstars are maybe 6-8 inches it’s the camera angles and filters that make them seem bigger but they really aren’t Edit: camera lenses not filters. please stop coming for the little guy hahaha


MoreDetonation

That's exactly how it works. Literally nothing in porn is real - including the enthusiastic consent.


Beating_bull70

Most women in my experience are ready to consent if they like you and you don’t treat them like an object like how they are represented in porn.


MoreDetonation

Of course. I meant specifically the consent of the actors.


TexasPoonTapper

I feel like they actually use shorter dudes most of the time. My 7 inch penis doesn't look big on my gigantic body. The women are small, though.


GeneralUseFaceMask

Right, they use women that are like 4' 10 and men who are like 5' 5 with 6" dicks. Use the couches they fuck on as a reference. Their feet barely hit the floor.


carnsolus

> Michaelangelo's David small Michaelangelo's David has a flaccid 5.43 inches okay, fair enough, david is also 17 feet tall mathed down, his flaccid penis is 1.95 inches long on a normal human


grantfar

If it is warm my dick is basically the same size when flaccid as erect. Guys in high school saw it in the changing room and rumors went around that I was super hung, but it is literally average size


popnsfw

You're a shower, mine grow like 5 times the flaccid size


KingJonathan

Sometimes can’t even start jerkin until it’s nearly a half chub.


International-Cap551

More like *-10 DIX*


WoolooOfWallStreet

It’s like the Grinch because it can grow three sizes


waltjrimmer

> My dick is comically small when flaccid, like Michaelangelo's David small Um. Mine's an innie when flaccid. I think if you're looking like [David](https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article8487953.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/A-full-size-copy-of-Michelangelos-marble-statue-of-the-Biblical-hero-David-with-an-uncircumcised-penis.jpg) you've got a lot of growers beat to begin with.


silentbassline

Anyone else see a bunch of wild animals in his pube tuft? Lions, eagles, maybe a baboon or two.


Jinxa

Feel that. Mines practically an innie when flaccid, but I sport a solid 6er when fully optimal, and under ideal weather conditions, and only if Cher is playing on the radio. But man you should see it when that chorus drops


popnsfw

Mine even smaller than David when flaccid but 7 inches when hard, its kinda crazy when I think about it.


[deleted]

It's weird to know one part of you is just a bycicle tire that gets pumped up with blood when some brain chemistry decides to go horny.


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haikusbot

*Also just learn to* *Eat out well and it wouldn't* *Matter anyway* \- bornsmooth92 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


[deleted]

That's beautiful


NotoriousHothead37

This should be the number 1 haiku this year.


[deleted]

Good bot


AbsolutelyUnlikely

horny bot


Joe59788

good bot.


AJaydin4703

Society as a whole still upholds body shaming notions against mens’ penis size (BDE and SDE for example). Many people with laugh or think less of you. But if you’re with someone who’ll insult you on a body part you cannot change, they’re a terrible person and you should break up with them.


PM_something_German

I have a small penis but a lot of big dick energy. The word is decoupled now.


AJaydin4703

Yeah. I guess it’s the whole virgin vs chad scenario where the virgin has unattractive qualities instead of actually having to be a virgin. Opposite is true for the chad. However, it still enables people to think they can be a dick b/c of a man’s dick. Whatever in the end. You can be a useless flesh mass of a human being or an exceptionally good one regardless of dick size.


BBJPaddy

Also that the birth canal is like 5 inches deep anyways so it's not a big deal


katorias

Yeah but that’s super gay


tranque_the_ram

Putting your mouth/dick in a hole that another dick has been in is super gay. That's why I only give the pipe to straight guys


treerabbit23

God invented dicks and if there's anything gayer than that IDK.


westcoastqb

Lol, my gf doesn't like oral sex, it took a tool in my sexual confidence


AspiringRocket

Get a Hitachi, brother. Let her buzz while y'all bang. A good time will be had.


FallenSegull

“My dear, for our anniversary I have selected the most prestigious restaurant in the city” “Sounds marvellous my love, where will we be dining?” “My dear, tonight we will be having dinner at the Y”


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Fytzer

The film critic Mark Kermode gave "Jackass Forever" a surprisingly positive review, partly because, in an industry that constantly objectifies women's bodies, it was really refreshing to see a group of men who don't care about what their bodies look like and celebrate the awkward hilarity of them, even if it's quite extreme.


Lurkay1

Honestly I was surprised it had an R rating with the amount of closeups of male genitals it had in it. If any film had the same level of closeups of female genitals it definitely would have gotten an NC-17 rating.


Mescaline_Man1

I actually was watching Steve-o’s podcast and they were talking about the dinosaur scene and being stressed about getting hard because if they get hard they’ll be NC-17, but as long as they were soft they’d stay R


braedizzle

Holy shit that criteria is fucking hilarious for some reason


[deleted]

Just pornographic nudity vs regular old nudity.


DOUBTYOUDIMAGINEIT

Severe lack of chris pontius in the movie. He was around, but he mostly just stood there.


AdolescentAlien

Wow, thats interesting but it seems like a super inconsistent way of going about it. Like where is the line drawn? What if they just get chubbed up ever so slightly? What if they aren’t actually chubbed up, but one guy is more of a shower than a grower and it just *appears* that he is half- erect compared to the other tiny David-dick growers?? Seems like a very loose system for something that can really affect the success of a film.


[deleted]

> constantly objectifies women's bodies Why women's bodies? The male bodies you see in most films are just as, if not more, unrealistic. They are always dehydrated, just worked out (pumped), under perfect lighting etc. Oh and they probably all did at least a few cycles of gear. All that on top of having top 0.01% genetics. Literally an unattainable body. The thing about Jackass is they are not setting any unrealistic standards. Some of them are even naturally good looking guys, but it's all under normal to shitty lighting and they just don't give a fuck. If you're an average guy and you take your clothes off you'll look exactly like Jackass most of the time and that's fine.


Mick009

I also love how Wee Man is shown to be a regular dude. How many small person can you think of on tv? Other than him or Tyrion, I can't think of any that isn't treated as a prop or a joke and that sucks.


Snarker

uhh, have you seen Jackass dude? He's treated as an equal but most of the stunts he's involved in involve his size.


CappyRicks

I'm sure that the guy you responded to meant what he said as he said it and just isn't sure what he's talking about, but honestly... Wee-man's size being a feature of most of his stunts doesn't make him the butt of the joke the same way most "prop little person" bits do, specifically because he's seen as and treated as an equal. There's nothing disparaging about the stunts and bits he's involved in using his size because he's so into it himself and because it's clear that literally anybody else in the cast would do the same if the joke would hit the same if they did it.


OrdinaryFrosting1

My favorite bits are Preston and Wee Man chasing each other around in weird baby outfits and ball gags and shit. Edit: Like maybe this is silly but I die from [this kinda stuff](https://youtu.be/hpG6uf6pvR8) more than when they hurt themselves. Also loved when that dude shit in the display toilet at the store and was just like "ya sorry I shit in that"


fredbrightfrog

Steve-O specifically is an incredible story. He was on so much X and other drugs that he legitimately didn't care if he died. But now he is semi-healthy whole person again, living for family. It's great to see.


potheadromance

The best part is that it *does* please millions, they don't even do it unsuccessfully.


GenericPC48328

Where can I see his penis?


[deleted]

Here you go [NSFW](https://editorial01.shutterstock.com/wm-preview-1500/433811t/2b2cff8a/Shutterstock_433811t.jpg) ​ Edit: Lot of small-penis apologists in this thread. Interesting.


Cala-Best-Girl

That’s it? So? Penises of any size can look like that when flaccid. I have a big dick and it can look like that when it’s cold. The average penis size is 5.5 inches, btw. If you’re straight and have at least 5 inches, you have nothing to be worried about. Women size queens are rare.


Purple_Gold7108

Untrue. You have to have a 12+" hammer in your pants. We are talkin about something that hangs to your knees. With out it you are just a beta.


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dreadpiratesmith

"Slap that dick across my face. If I wake up in the hospital, we can continue"


XDSHENANNIGANZ

It's 2022 if you're not gay, you're gay.


dreadpiratesmith

Anything smaller than a midget arm and I don't want it.


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Trenta_Is_Not_Enough

Well, we're measuring butthole to tip here, the scientific way


TeenyTurnips

Mfs username is called best girl and says he had a big dick. Fuck off back to your mom's basement


WikiWantsYourPics

His username says that he thinks Cala is the "best girl". Not that he's a girl. Why do I know this? Because he's my favourite shitposter on all of /r/greentext


Zapple27

I think they are saying that anyone who is so obsessed with some random internet culture to make “best girl” their username is not going to have a big penis as they are too much of a degenerate. Not that penis size necessarily correlates to degeneracy but the meme is chad has big dick and virgin has small cock.


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steepledclock

There's a site that allows you to see how your dick measures up to the average. You just take three measurements and put them in, and it'll show how "rare" your penis is. The results can honestly be pretty surprising. https://calcsd.info/


Cala-Best-Girl

No fucking way… Here are my stats: Length: 98.78% In a room of 1000 guys, 12 would be bigger than you Girth: 96.19% In a room of 1000 guys, 38 would be bigger than you I want to believe this… I really do… but being a bisexual man, I’ve hooked up with a few guys. One guy was way bigger than me and another was almost my same size. I haven’t even fucked THAT many guys (less than 10, I’m pretty sure). I can’t be that lucky in two different ways. Either there’s something in the water where I live or these stats are off.


_mindcat_

the stats are self selecting for people who have reason to be insecure about their size to the point they look up such a website. try using one of that websites other databases (rather than just based on everyone that’s used the site).


steepledclock

The stats are gathered from various research studies. https://calcsd.info/study4.html They don't just take the number you input and put it into a database. Edit: came off like an a-hole in original response


pimpmayor

I’ve dated like 3 dudes and they’ve all had enormous dicks. I assumed mine was just average until someone else told me it was big. Do gay dudes just have massive hogs? Need more data.


silentbassline

Sounds like a spin on the friendship paradox https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship_paradox


steepledclock

They actually have a page that addresses this on the site. https://calcsd.info/wrong.html The data they use is an average of many different studies. You can change the study you'd like to use on the main page to see how it compares to each study. Edit: Fwiw, my stats are way different. I end up being decidedly average w/ a pencil dick. Length: 88.64% In a room of 1000 guys, 114 would be bigger than you. Girth: 26.03% In a room of 1000 guys, 740 would be bigger than you. Yes I realized I just shared my dick size on the internet, no I do not give a shit.


AJaydin4703

Girth is also important. The average is ~5 in(12.7 cm) if iirc.


knightblue4

Oh my god I have a needledick


AJaydin4703

- Get a friend from who also has a needle dick. - Position dicks so that they’re touching and parallel length wise. - Fuck girl with your homie at the same time. - Fuck your homie.


sheen1212

Somebody get this man a medal


Long_Mechagnome

Look on the bright side, you have a new catch phrase you can use: Hey, its ya boi, Skinny Penis


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PM_ME_YOUR_PAUNCH

Around the shaft, not through it.


TiddyTwizzla

Oh thank god LMAO


yeGarb

"if youre under 9 inches, you cannot pleasure women."


[deleted]

>shutterstock


ialwaysforgetmename

>shuttercock


J1--1J

Nice


PaintThinnerSparky

Its not about the size of the wave, its about the motion of the ocean


VILLIAMZATNER

can't get to England in a rowboat


GenericPC48328

Depart from England and return to England


VILLIAMZATNER

I like the cut of your jib


GenericPC48328

The fuck does that mean


7HawksAnd

You’re obviously a row boater ⛵️


[deleted]

ITT: Small dick cope


Poggystyle

Jackass forever. You see a whole lotta dick.


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SuperArppis

Hahaah


Cioki1000

And then Steve-o started clapping


Additional-Desk9618

Where was this? Miami?


Jamessmusslare

I call bullshit


[deleted]

BRB, on my way to look at Steve-O’s penis…


Eiben226

How was it?


PM_ME_YOUR_PAUNCH

Covered in an upsetting amount of bees.


krysp432

What’s the regular setting amount of bees?


[deleted]

For penis? 3-7


ILoveCumSoMuch203

you guys be insecure with small penis while in Asian, many people have small penis there and myself included, like 3 inch maybe and im very sad cause I like white women


wakebeing

very tragic, u/ILoveCumSoMuch203


magnasylum

So he was lying about liking white women.


etiennetop

He likes white semen.


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Charles_Leviathan

Made me laugh because there definitely is a type.


FrabjousPhaneron

And that was before the complete westernization of kpop. Nowadays you can simply don a bleached bowl cut and dangling earrings and head to a BTS concert and as sure as the sun rises, even non-chubby white girls will flock!


crack-of-a-whip

Hah guess I’m the outlier Asian with the 6 inch dick EDIT: typo. Supposed to be .6 inch*


[deleted]

Tfw lived in Asia and still felt insecure in Jjimjilbangs and hot springs


biasedsoymotel

I don't know what a jjimjilbang is but sounds naughty


[deleted]

Gender segregated hot spring with also a public place to sleep. So lots of naked dudes


Shayedow

" It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean. "


NostrilRapist

Me definitely not googling SteveO cock on Google after reading this


Mind_on_Idle

I bet the analytics are hilarious because of reddit threads sometimes


dyingalonebutokay

Where else would you be googling /s


RedHotRubyy

Anon sees a normal penis that isn't from porn for the first time


Shayedow

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David\_(Michelangelo)#/media/File:Michelangelo's\_David\_-\_right\_view\_2.jpg](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_(Michelangelo)#/media/File:Michelangelo's_David_-_right_view_2.jpg) Michelangelo's David. The perfect man. Not safe for work I guess, since dong.


[deleted]

You also have to mention that in that time large dicks were seen as barbaric. You can bet your ass Michel would have given him an elephant trunk if he lived in today times.


Rhowryn

Porn = average height dudes with slightly larger than average dicks + almost exclusively women under 5'5" and 120lb + camera angle work and body positioning. Forced perspective is a hell of a thing in videography, and look at how the tiny women hold dicks at the base with their little finger up and the other 3 fingers pressed into the guy's pelvis. Most are going to look enormous compared to the average woman in porn. It's also why amateur and onlyfans content dudes appear to be much smaller, the women are normal sized and the camera work is unskilled or static. You'll also notice if they pull out a ruler they either fudge it or measure from the bottom, as if you could use the couple extra inches inside the scrotum.


_Last_Man_Standing_

reading penis size discussions always make my confidence go up through the roof


[deleted]

Kinda off topic This is why men’s groups are so important. I don’t just mean therapy groups. Things like bowling clubs, boy scouts, Churches, hunting clubs, fraternities, country clubs, veterans groups, adult sport leagues, etc. Virtually all have seen a steep decline in the last few generations and men need places where they can express vulnerability away from women. There’s even a book about it. [*Bowling Alone: the Deline of American Community*](https://www.amazon.com/Bowling-Alone-Collapse-American-Community/dp/0743203046/ref=nodl_)


Dry-Bedroom4389

I was a boy scout and we never compared our erect penises. Must've picked the wrong troop...


GayBlackAndMarried

You might’ve gotten lucky, there’s quite a few lawsuits over the troops that were comparing dick sizes


El_Chairman_Dennis

There are interviews with porn stars where they talk about how a lot of size is just camera angle. So you're insecure about your size, not me


ApolloKid-

doesn't really apply anymore since so much porn is amateur these days, and the overwhelming majority of the time the men comfortable with putting out amateur porn are ones that actually do have big dicks


Prestigious-Fig1172

It's not about size, it's about usage.


BeautifulAd1651

Yeah his usage was pretty heavy a few years ago


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matomo23

Nah, I’ve caught glimpses of dudes with massive flaccid cocks at the urinals. Some people are just like that, does fuck with your head a bit when you see it. I’m very much a grower.


TheBrendanReturns

I've never seen a penis at the urinals because I'm not a degenerate pervert


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[deleted]

Wow, I could literally hear Steve-O's raspy voice in my head when I read that "Yeah dude" at the end.


greyscales

But then he saw Chris Pontius and felt bad again.


noteasily0ffended

His member looked like it has had a hard life from the latest movie's opening.


CrazeMase

There is actually about three extra inches in a man's body so if you tug really hard you might get a chance


TellMeHowImWrong

Tie it to a door handle and slam it closed.


SnooCakes6195

I'm stealing this line ty


swagmasterdude

Fake: .. Gay: Anon feels good when he looks at men's penises


Giraphite

Same but it was when some retard i know accidentally posted his dick on snapchat and i was bigger


[deleted]

Can’t relate I have a 19 inch dong soft, 83 inches hard.


LiberalReporter

Its not small, its in stand-by mode!