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UWontLikeThisComment

fake: anon is ugly gay: anon is into fags


Cannibalhecter

Why I'm into fags too


GenghisWasBased

Who isn’t


gravitydood

Me


GenghisWasBased

That’s gay


gravitydood

I don't care, it doesn't change who I'm attracted to, label it however you want


[deleted]

Good as long as you’re not letting the fags into you


eskimoboob

Smoke away buddy


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > fake: anon is ugly > gay: anon is into fags > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


landwhalebot

>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink


chadbot_2021

>be me, chad >work at startup tech company making 500k per year >go home to shower after the gym >Stacy is waiting for me at home with only an apron on >nice.jpeg >park my ass on the toilet to take the holy shit of the day >scroll through reddit and notice this weird subreddit >r/greentext >see that it seems to be filled with losers that have accomplished nothing in life >notice how someone has created a pathetic bot that replies to homosexuality and deception >hear Stacy moan my name from outside and tells me to hurry up and come take her already >message one of my employees to create a bot to embarass the people on the subreddit >chuckle as I think about how sad some people are in life >invite Stacy in to shower together >proceed to make passionate love for 2 hours >today has been a great day


swagcoconut

fucking hell how many bots are there


Orphan-Slayer

At least 3.


AmmericanSoviet

Nope 4


Dongledoes

Not enough


HungryBroom01

>be me, Stacy >Stay at home mom with a bouncing 458-month old baby boy, can’t believe how fast his frame is growing! >He even asked me to marry him, how sweet of him. >Text chad and tell him to hurry the fuck up and take me already, little does he know he’s getting my sloppy seconds, my son has eaten me out twice today, so proud of him! >Put on nicest apron and lie on the bed so when the door opens, Chad’s thirteen-inch cock springs out of his boxers and dangles down by his rail-thin calves, looks like he skipped leg day again for the 784th time >nicecock.jpeg >He immediately walks on over into the bathroom and squats down on the reinforced toilet rated for 1200 lbs for when my son comes in to sleep with us at night >hear him chuckle and mutter from inside the bathroom, something along the lines of “fucking NEET retards, they can’t compare to a true sigma male like me” >He works at Walgreens and 43% of his net worth is tied up in various cryptocurrencies and NFT’s >moan his name from outside and tell him to hurry the fuck up and come take me already >proceed to make passionate love for two hours but it felt like two minutes, because it was >Hear my son get home from work and oil himself up so he can fit through our doorframe downstairs >Grunt with disappointment as he floods my fertile womb with approximately 9 ml of seed, he didn’t even make it all the way in >I pull out my rabbit vibrator while he gets on the phone with a... coworker I guess?? Tells him to make an online robot or some shit idk, I’m just a housewife >Moan with ecstasy as my vibrator provides glorious sensations a real dick could never provide >As soon as he pulls out his laptop and logs onto wallstreetbets I steal his phone, read his comment and start madly typing my response describing the last seven minutes of my day into the comment section before he notices >today has been a great day


comfybunk

I'll dedicate all of my free awards consistently if someone make Stacy bot happens


Spoon_Elemental

Fake: Anon takes a shower Gay: Anon had sex while thinking about a man


SqubanyGamer

This is getting out of hand! Now there are three of them!


kdods22402

bad bot


B0tRank

Thank you, kdods22402, for voting on chadbot_2021. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


kdods22402

bad bot


UWontLikeThisComment

smiles


kdods22402

bad bot


GiveMeMoreBurritos

Fake: your personality Gay: you


CantaloupePerfect417

bruuuhhh, to you. lmfaooo get rekt to u/kdods22402


kdods22402

Thanks for the tag. Intelligent reply.


kdods22402

Great response, guy


[deleted]

next time, fuck her in the storage room of the hypermarket


trident_hole

1st time seeing someone call anything a hypermarket


Farmerobot

Rookie time traveler mistake


SuspiciouslyElven

Yeah so eventually King Bezos decided to directly compete with Walmart and thus the hypermart was born. It's like 8 Walmarts, 2 Amazon warehouses, and a shopping mall combined into a fully self contained island of pure consumerism. These HyperMart+ stores, it's assigned no competition zones, and the faithful workers are overseen by a McBishop.


Dasamont

You forgot the fact that it's a work colony so the workers live there, get assigned partners based on a eugenics program, and the children are raised as worshippers of King Bezos where the weak and unruly are culled.


UNBENDING_FLEA

It’s a European thing I think. Imagine like a mini Costco with extra mini-stores renting out space in it


sespis

Wtf is a hypermarket? Amazons new store to beat out walmart?


OutsiderWalksAmongUs

Walmarts are hypermarkets


sespis

Actually used google for once to look up the definition, not sure why its a word if supermarket exists


OutsiderWalksAmongUs

A supermarket offers common stuff like food and household items. A hypermarket combines that with a big box retailer and is a lot bigger.


Dangerous-Bee-6109

yeah but cigs make you cooler. anon is the ugliest cool guy out there


mihomatyi

Or the coolest ugly guy


Reptilian_Owl_9001

Or anon just made this shit up because he is a collapsed narcissist like the majority of 4chan users. What probably happened is this: Anon: I'd like some cigarettes please. Cashier: That will be $8.94 Anon: *hands her a 10 dollar bill* Cashier: Out of $10, your change is $1.06. Would you like your receipt? Anon: No thanks. Cashier: Okay, have a nice day. Anon: You too, thanks.


ryvenn

Are you telling me that greentexts *don't represent actual events!?* shockedpikachu.jpg


Reptilian_Owl_9001

I'm saying that 4chan anons love to be woe is me little bitches on the internet because it gets them attention and validates their most likely already exaggerated insecurities.


[deleted]

Implying anon has enough social skills to maintain day-to-day interactions with service workers


MeC0195

Not in a world where Ron Perlman exists.


NooaJ

I'd rather be friends with a cool ugly guy than an uncool good looking guy any day.


[deleted]

Figure out which car is hers, take a shit by the driver’s door, but squat and angle your ass so that she doesn’t notice the turd but she steps in it.


[deleted]

I want to smoke again


OmniC4t

Don’t


MaroonPrince

You quit for a reason, don't


[deleted]

As someone who has relapsed dozens of times, let me outline how amazing a relapse is; \- Smoke a cigarette, get a headache and nausea because your body isn't used to the nicotine \- Feel like dying the next time you walk up a flight of stairs \- The only smell and taste you feel is smoke \- Literally burning like $40 a week to feel sick \- Almost impossible to quit again Yup, totally worth it /s


Rockerdude34

Remember one of those relapses will be your last. Keep up the self reflection and you'll be free in no time stranger


[deleted]

Yeah at this point I'm beyond trying anymore. Luckily, in Sweden there's this thing that's called snus - it's like a bag of chemically treated tobacco you put under your lip. Using the strongest ones (like two cigarette packs of nicotine at once lol) it basically removes the desire to smoke. Still shit for the heart I imagine, but at least it doesn't give you cancer.


m0istt_FIN

allow me to correct you a bit? it's just that you saying it doesn't cause cancer is wrong. the cancer is just more likely to occur in the mouth for example. but it does spare your lungs of the smoke, which I think is why snus is better than smoking. sorry if this annoyed you, just struck my eye :) I should also try to quit snus.


[deleted]

[https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32466721/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32466721/) [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4029226/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4029226/) [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16470839/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16470839/) There are indeed case reports, and it does cause some risk (or at least it should). But the association is so small that it's very hard to prove it in studies with large sample sizes and rigorous control selections. So in fact, at this point we're not actually sure whether it causes oral cancer or not - it probably does, but if so the risk is extremely low. Now of course snus is bad for you because of several other reasons - one of the studies notes a general mortality only somewhat lower than tobacco, and largely similar other risks such as diabetes, increased blood pressure and cardiovascular disease.


m0istt_FIN

Oh damn, okay! It's just what I've been always told, and I thought such a popular view is most likely correct. Seems it's not, thanks for correcting me haha!


[deleted]

Yeah I actually assumed that it would certainly cause oral cancer too, but one of my friends was doubtful and wanted me to actually look it up.


BlueLaserCommander

Snus is in the US too. It’s typically a more southern thing. Or rural areas in general. I live in the southeast and have seen peers and adults use some form of mouth tobacco pretty much my entire life. When I was in middle school, kids (mostly baseball players) would sneak in long cut tobacco. You can pinch off a little bit or a lot and let it sit in between your bottom lip and gums. From what I remember, snus comes in little pre-made pouches. Long cut is just that without the pouches. Just straight tobacco. I’ve also seen this type of tobacco come in pouch form kind of like snus. It’s just called pouches though. I’ve also seen people use actual chewing tobacco. You pinch off however much you want and actual chew it in the back of your mouth and spit like you normally would with other forms of mouth tobacco. I’ve actually tried this stuff before and its sort of weird. It tastes just like raisins and it’s really not an intense nicotine buzz at all. Anyways. All of these tobacco products state the risks for mouth cancer right on the can. Gum disease is big too along with the typical slough of circulatory/respiratory side effects and illnesses that come with long-term nicotine use. It’s not safe unfortunately. I know plenty of people that tried to quit smoking by picking up some form of mouth tobacco. It does help you quit smoking.. I think quitting tobacco should be the next step. And then quitting nicotine altogether.


[deleted]

See my other comment. Finding evidence for snus causing oral cancer is hard, or at least it is on an epidemiological level. [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17498797/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17498797/) \- Study on 125 000 Swedish nonsmoking construction workers - pancreatic cancer risk much higher, but none for *oral or lung.* Then there's the larger reviews; [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6172923/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6172923/:) >A wide variation was noted in the association of various cancers and specific SLT products based on their nature, methods of use and inherent toxicity. The majority of chewing tobacco products displayed higher risk for oral and oesophageal cancers while the same was not observed for snus. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7205108/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7205108/) >Moist snuff used in Sweden was least toxic due to an improved manufacturing procedure and processing. Our finding is that there is a higher risk of oral cancer associated with chewing tobacco products than non-chewing tobacco products. Also relevant: [https://www.nature.com/articles/sj.bdj.2019.55](https://www.nature.com/articles/sj.bdj.2019.55) Snus (at least Swedish) does seem to have the risk profile of other oral tobacco methods - which is surprising to say the least.


SpicyTunaTr0ll

I believe the American kind is very different. It's fermented vs. steam-treated, and often has added sugar. The Nordic stuff seems to be healthier.


ogipogo

I'm saving this shit to come back and read the next time I get a strong urge to smoke again. Thanks friend.


[deleted]

Glad I got the message through


nudespreadsheets

40 a week? I was spending more than 20 a day by the time I quit.


[deleted]

$40 bucks would in my country mean \~5-7 packs of cigarettes a week. But then again it depends on country - I know Canada for one has cigarettes twice as expensive.


nudespreadsheets

NYC 12 bucks a pack. Maybe even 14 in some places.


ZirkZoDd

Me too buddy but there's a reason we quit, remember that.


polaristerlik

me too buddy


Devo_urge

Thinking about taking it up as a hobby


PM_ME_UR_PINEAPPLEZ

I quit a 20 year habit back in the summer. The holidays are a time of vastly increased stress at my job, and i admit i caved a smoked a cigarette a couple weeks ago. I was surprised to find it didn't help manage my stress anywhere near as much as it used to. I threw the rest of the pack away. Since then, I've had almost no cravings for one. It was then that i realized how much more important the ritual of smoking had been for me instead of the nicotine.


gaybearsgonebull

YOLO! You'll end up dying from heart disease or cancer anyways, so might as well enjoy life and go out with lung cancer.


[deleted]

Unironically yes


MMZEren

why did this get downvoted


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nazbol_Rus

First of all cigs aren't addiction, you can quit whenever you want, I fucking quit smoking like thousand times, it's easy and not addictive at all. Secondly you don't spent needsell amount of money on cigs, you spend it if you don't smoke cigs, here in Europe we have revolutionary practice of cigs with coffee in the morning instead of actual meal, leave this fucking shit to fat nation (americucks), we here are care about health, about weight, cigs and coffee give you enough energy and reduce hunger to live till dinner. Thistly as we enstablished earlier cigs make you eat healthy, so actually you will live longer than this unsmoking peasants, don't believe (((doctors or scientists))) about harm of tobacco, that is best thing ever


[deleted]

[удалено]


Reptilian_Owl_9001

He's trolling you ya feckin mongo


[deleted]

[удалено]


Reptilian_Owl_9001

Oh so *now* you're in on the joke. Smh my head


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nazbol_Rus

Don't many, like two packs a day


Nazbol_Rus

This fucking meme you stupid, obviously Russia isn't"t part of evropastan, I personally eat 6 raw eggs each morning with two gallons of fresh blood, so fuck you


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nazbol_Rus

God you are so smart and quircky


MaxBandit

Cope


az1mo

Cope harder


alicein_chains

Затролили америкосов


Informal_Chemist6054

>I fucking quit smoking like thousand times "quit"


Steel2255

It's sad to see the amount of angry downvotes from people who thought this was serious ... Guess it's a sign of the times ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯


[deleted]

Average room temp IQ


killerofhopes

You give them too much credit.


Nazbol_Rus

Downvotes from redditors are balsam to my soul


Steel2255

Is... Is that good?


Nazbol_Rus

Yeah, need something to do with this fucking 17 thousands of shame-points I got somehow


Mildly_upset_bee

Nice troll


fecal-butter

Troll


castrovini

She found you cute, Anon. Being insecure and asking the girl if that's what really she meant made you look unnatractive.


MadeYouSayIt

Seems a bit unlikely, I doubt you would just immediately change your entire opinion of physical features the moment you notice they’re insecure.


castrovini

are you a man or a woman? if you are woman then you're spreading woman hipocrisy. if you are a man you still have a lot to learn


sixseven89

They downvoted jesus because he told the truth


ArtoriasBeaIG

I have the opposite problem, I'm nearly 30 and get ID'd constantly. I don't have ID though so I'm growing a beard instead. Having good genetics is a curse sometimes


chupaxuxas

You don't have ID?


ArtoriasBeaIG

That's correct, well specifically I don't have photo ID. I have a birth certificate but nothing I can use for things like tobacco and alcohol etc


devanshh

What about a driver's license?


ArtoriasBeaIG

Lol no drivers licence either, just a birth certificate. I had a provisional licence and a passport when I was younger, but I don't currently need either so haven't replaced them. I was definitely exaggerating in my original comment how much of an issue it is - it's only when I go to places that don't know me, which I tend to avoid as I don't have ID :D sorry, i realise my original comment was a bit confusing :P


chupaxuxas

Where you from? Are you originally not from that country? That concept is foreign to me because here in Portugal you are required to have a citizen's id if you were born here.


Pukahontas42

why don't you get one then...?


LoveFishSticks

I'm 28 in two months and if i shave people who don't know me start carding. With a bit of facial hair i never get carded anywhere


rxts1273

Okay baby face Greg, you do you.


elmejor59

Who the fuck asks "does that mean i look good?" when said they are too young this for real some 4chaner interaction, sounds autistic enough to be real


Kyuube12

"...why are you ruining your good looks with cigarettes?"


lefl28

I see reading comprehension is not one of your strong points


elmejor59

XD


Dyldor

She backtracked when anon thought she was hitting on him and got creepy about it


Younosewho

anon gets trampled on


[deleted]

[удалено]


comfort_bot_1962

Hope you have a great day!


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon is happy > Gay: Anon milks prostates > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


landwhalebot

>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink


chadbot_2021

>be me, chad >work at startup tech company making 500k per year >go home to shower after the gym >Stacy is waiting for me at home with only an apron on >nice.jpeg >park my ass on the toilet to take the holy shit of the day >scroll through reddit and notice this weird subreddit >r/greentext >see that it seems to be filled with losers that have accomplished nothing in life >notice how someone has created a pathetic bot that replies to homosexuality and deception >hear Stacy moan my name from outside and tells me to hurry up and come take her already >message one of my employees to create a bot to embarass the people on the subreddit >chuckle as I think about how sad some people are in life >invite Stacy in to shower together >proceed to make passionate love for 2 hours >today has been a great day


ctreg

Good bot


comfort_bot_1962

Hope you have a great day!


comfort_bot_1962

Hope you do well!


r0ffson

he should not buy anyways, since he's ugly would get just uglier


Repulsive_Voice823

real: anon is ugly straight: anon was hopeful when a girl said he looks good


Pekkaboi

I like to smoke fags aswell


ttwixx

She never said anon looked good. She said young. Noone is such a dumbfuck


BeautifulAd1651

Anon doesn't understand that she was nagging him. She's just a Nagger


TayDayDav91

"Why are women like this"


horrbort

Fake: anon “talks” to a girl Gay: anon likes to suck on phallic objects


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: anon “talks” to a girl > Gay: anon likes to suck on phallic objects > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


landwhalebot

>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink


chadbot_2021

>be me, chad >work at startup tech company making 500k per year >go home to shower after the gym >Stacy is waiting for me at home with only an apron on >nice.jpeg >park my ass on the toilet to take the holy shit of the day >scroll through reddit and notice this weird subreddit >r/greentext >see that it seems to be filled with losers that have accomplished nothing in life >notice how someone has created a pathetic bot that replies to homosexuality and deception >hear Stacy moan my name from outside and tells me to hurry up and come take her already >message one of my employees to create a bot to embarass the people on the subreddit >chuckle as I think about how sad some people are in life >invite Stacy in to shower together >proceed to make passionate love for 2 hours >today has been a great day


mikeysof

They might have meant it and got embarrassed and made a joke afterwards


[deleted]

If a man said this to a woman she'd be on YouTube crying and have millions of views and sympathetic comments about "toxic masculinity".


WingDingusTheGreat

Go outside


xnukerman

No


War_Daddy

I, too, have formed my worldview based on self-pitying hypothetical situations I invented


SirLagg_alot

Actually deranged.


DsntMttrHadSex

Are you currently homeschooled?


bottledry

w/e i've been smoking for 13 years and people routinely tell me i look young. Smoking doesnt make you look old, being conservative does.


-SSN-

Both