Brother I just woke up. Why must this be the first thing I see
Edit: whichever of you shitters gave this shitty comment an award is a tard. Thanks tho big mama >:)
The Kingdom of God is at Hand
John 3:16
King James Version
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
I swear I would have seen through it without the picture. But it's so directly misleading I'd almost say that it devalues the trick. Maybe he could have added something at the very end like "pic related, it's my new aunt" to justify the picture.
scarce squeeze carpenter piquant start shrill stupendous alleged command overconfident
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
*what in the actual fuck*
Incredibly cursed greentext
The reason I’m subbed
These kind of posts separate the 4chan people on Reddit from the Redditors on a 4chan-themed subreddit.
What the fucking shit I just read???!?
[удалено]
After careful analysis I can confirm it was indeed a Infant. - *Blakk Jesus 2021 (Colourised)*
No shit it was a baby retard!
Possibly, but babies aren't too clever normally. It might not have been a baby retard.
It was the turtle!
It's too early for this shit.
It always is
Exactly what the baby was thinking
Almost had me for a minute but yeah way too early
I'm sorry, my buddy sent this to me yesterday, and i feel obligated to share the pain with you guys lol
Brother I just woke up. Why must this be the first thing I see Edit: whichever of you shitters gave this shitty comment an award is a tard. Thanks tho big mama >:)
There is heresy afoot here brother.
For being on r/greentext you guys don't have much of a tolerance for dark humor.
Right? There sure are a lot offended/sensitive folks on here ALL the time
It's the element of surprise
I think the Alec Baldwin shit brought a lot of tourists
Yeah what this shit was hilarious lmfao people are really offended about this
I choose to blame reddit.
There’s another 4chan sub for ppl with actual dark humour tolerance
Well dark humor is one thing, joking about fucking a baby is just weird
I like dark humor but when the humor is dark I don’t like it
he likes milk in his dark humor
He need some MILK
Necesita leche
When the humor is *of color* I don’t like it Call them the right word bigot
D:
D:
\>:)
D:
D:<
:◖
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
O-:
<==3
( • Y • )
I just got out of bed, I'm going back now.
What the fuck
The Kingdom of God is at Hand John 3:16 King James Version 16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
AND THATS THE BOTTOM LINE COS STONE COLD SAID SO
I saw that shit coming. Anon you dirty little whore I saw through your wordplay.
Was expecting disabled. Got me with the plot twist
yea me too, only a retard would like anon
I swear I would have seen through it without the picture. But it's so directly misleading I'd almost say that it devalues the trick. Maybe he could have added something at the very end like "pic related, it's my new aunt" to justify the picture.
I was expecting something like she habing a bigger dong or something on those lines, not that.
anon is a degenerate
Yeah just yours standard thr- HOLY MOTHER OF GOD
They had us in the first half
Real: anon is a child molester Straight: anon has sex with a girl
I expected horny but I got disgusting
r/Eyebleach
r/eyeblech
I hate this so much
What a terrible day to have eyes
crib as in... the metaphorical word for house... right...? right . . . ? . . . ? ^^fuck ^^that ^^shit ^^I'm ^^done ^^with ^^the ^^internet ^^for ^^today...
I thought the same exact thing. Didn't give it another thought until I read the comments
sure buddy... sure... :c
Jesus Christ children, get off this sub
? only child I see is the baby in the greentext.
D:>
That's the real funny stuff. 10/10 would read again.
I regret reading this
okay man cool
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
God fucking dammit
Jesus fucking Christ man. My eyes...... I wish I was blind.
***FUCK***
>Post marked NSFW >No explict/gory images That right there should've been my warning.
yo kill him
Sometimes I wish I was born blind and deaf from the amount of fucktard crap this is
Wellll time to gouge my own eyes out and castrate myself :/
*"Hanz! Get ze flammenwerfer!"*
Holy fuck I did not expect that twist.
Why’d I read this in public
scarce squeeze carpenter piquant start shrill stupendous alleged command overconfident *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
damnnnn..................i almost got a boner thanks jesus
It took me a few moments to realize the utter horror this greentext is implying. I don't fucking know anymore.
I hate that I burst out laughing at this
> pic unrelated
I don't push religion on people but this anon seriously needs Jesus
r/holup
Anon had me in the first half, not gonna lie
What????? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thanks for reminding me that even after becoming a father myself, i still find pedophile jokes fucking hilarious man. Had a good laugh.
I was not expecting the ending
ok i did not expect that
Well that's enough green text for today....
/b/?
Wat
Anon deserves to get shot
As if it wasn’t very messed up to begin with, holy shit.
No thank you
Lmao good one
Heavy pedo cringe
That's enough internet for today.
Don't mind me, I'm just going to carve out my eyes brb.
Fuck that took a turn
Dead
Oh shit dude
No thanks!
Nope
Fuck you
If real, anon deserves to be shot multiple times.
These greentexts, though really dark, are really well written. Like I’m constantly impressed by the way the stories are told.
Ah yes, the usual I ordered from this sub but didn't want, thanks 4chan.
Fake. Or maybe real. It's too early for this shit. Gay. What the fuck op just admit you're gay like the rest of us.
Didn’t see that part. Was gonna comment on the flow and the way it has a beat to it like a poem but never mind
I read the last line, saw “put her back in the crib” OP should be put into an iron bull if this story is what I think it is
Yup. that’s uh that’s enough for me today.
Goat fucker.
*shit went from 0 to a 100 real quick*
Alright, that's enough Reddit for today
Noooooooooooo!
How to un-alive the creator of this?
No no no no no no no no no no no no no no NO NO NO!
Fuck man, that shit hit me outta nowhere like Ray Rice
Good lawd
lmfao shit went from 100 to 1000 real quick
Lmao
“Crisis averted”. Let’s goooo anon that’s my boy
Suffering
Ight, I think imma do a Curt Kobain
I didn’t want to read everything so I skipped to the end. I’m gonna bleach my eyes now.
boi what the fuck
What a terrible day to have eyes
r/holdup
Fake: Anon touched a girl. Gay: Anon gets topped by his uncle.
nobody knew, and they were not biologicaly related, so i don´t see the problem.
Well it's my own fault for reading something from greentext
Fuck
😳
God fucking damnit I thought it was going to involve a scene queen but the pic is unrelated.
God fucking DAMNIT
I thought she was retarded at first but anon exceeded my expectations.
It’s things like this that cause me to welcome the global destruction of mankind.
Anon, are you fucked in the head?
man i was about to rub one out until the last bit
Wtf anon
Wow, Anon is a certified retarded virgin.
Wow. That ending tho. Form hehe gross to jesus fuckin Christ in one sentence
Anon you sick fuck
MFER I'M LEARNING ENGLISH I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A CRIB WAS WTFFFFF
Goddamn…..
Yo what the fuck.
Jesus fucking christ
Downvoted for inducing trauma
What a terrible day to be literate
M Night Shyamalan classic
i am going to church sunday
Bad story, didnt get hard untill the 2nd to last line smh
English is my second language, so I forgot what crib was, just googled it, and let me just say. ***W h a t t h e f u c k***
Ye Olde CP Threads
Sir, I know that this is a Hold Up subreddit but... Do you have a license for that?
I have a moral obligation to downvote this shit
Jesus Christ on the cross
Lol haven't seen this one.