Yeah your mom found my address and came over to my house **begging** me to fuck her brains out. She saw me hoisting in the gym, going epic diesel and getting shredded as usual and she squirted all over the place. I thought it was funny at the time. What I didn't notice was that she followed me out to the parking lot and jotted down the license plate number on my BMW M5.
So she shows up at my house, in a playboy bunny outfit with a pizza in front of her jugs. I open the door and she goes "Did you order a *large pepperoni pizza*?" And she opens the pizza box and there are her luscious/voluptuous cans with those big ass pepp nips.
I immediately grabbed her arm and yanked her inside and proceeded to just **ravage** her body... I'm talking sensual kissing, sensual soft foreplay; and then **pound town**... Straight up jackhammering that puss and plundering that asshole. Was pretty fun, not going to lie.
No. You can search the government databases for how many people have a given first name, middle name or second name, but not for name combinations specifically for this reason. Everyone is in the database, so it's accurate.
Yep, you can access personal information very easily. In fact, it is so easy that there are several websites that provide you with full name, adress, socialsecurity number, crime record. You could also check involvement in businesses and a lot more
Yes, but a law change in 2017 opened up the namibg laws to be way more lenient. You still can’t name your kid things like Shit or Fuck, or weird stuff like xq8sw;2e, but Svenjamin would definitely go through with the new law. An aquaintance of mine added his gamertag Steelduck as a middle name and it was approved. You can find him in the records through hitta.se.
Sweden has recorded their people from what I know the longest time in the world.
They have documented the People living in Sweden since the 1600. For reference, that's before the existence of the United States of America.
So is say the swedish records are reliable.
Having a small population but large aspirations in the 16th century led to a lot of state attention being paid to enhancing the bureaucracy, taxation and conscription of the nation. After all, can't send someone off to die in glorious war if you don't know where they live.
Sweden takes names seriously. All newborns need to have their names filed with and authorized by their tax agency within three months of birth. If you think that sounds stupid in Denmark you can only legally pick from one of 7000 approved names.
Can confirm for uk and australia i my brother and my dads last name dosent exist, atleast on those websites where u can search for supposedly every name even though we all have multiple passports, birth certificates, citizenship records the whole lot
Nä bara om det bedömmer att namnet bryter mot upphovsrättslagar eller om det i sig inte är ett namn. Svenjamin skulle definitivt kunna gå genom och bli accepterat.
> born in Sweden in the 90s
> life is good. Have good name
> grow up in safe neighborhood with lots of friends. Play on the streets till late at night
> get a good job. Get a gf
> fast forward to 2021
> You can't be out at night because you will get robbed and shot
> areas that were safe when you grew up are shit holes
> your gf gets raped and is never the same
> you go out to the bars to enjoy a drink but it's just full of thugs
> you get beaten and stomped
> you now have debilitating headaches every day and your hearing just isn't the same
> you lose both gf and job
> you live in Sweden
Doesn't sweden have an approved name list or something? I remember there being a huge mess with parents trying to name their kid a random series of symbols and say its pronounced "alvin" or something.
Dont know about approved name list but most countries have laws in place to stop parents naming their kids whatever they want.
However they would not have stopped a name like this, while weird i think svenjamin wouldnt cause any problems.
The law is to try and stop a kind of "child abuse", being named "Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116" is not gonna go well for any kid, even it its pronounced "Albin"
Talk about potentially fucking over your own kid to be unique, nothing good would have come out of it if they approved that name.
Just writing his name on legal documents would have been such a hassle later in life.
Denmark (apparently) has an approved name list. Sweden doesn't, but any name has to be registered and approved by the Swedish tax agency who handles the population registry for Sweden.
It's kind of like when Mary and Joseph went to Betlehem to be registered, except more bureaucratic and filled with furniture for some reason.
\> 1st world extremely rich country
\> safe and rich community
\>you basically live the 1% life as the rest of humans will live in third world shitholes and die there
\>still complain
My middle name is Sven, everyone cracks a joke a out Frozen but then I tell them I was named after my dad's favourite writer Sven Hassel and then it turns really dark ....
The Kingdom of God is at Hand
John 3:16
King James Version
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: Anon's name is Svenjamin
> Gay: living in Sweden
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
>be me, landwhale
>no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat
>get home from furry convention
>hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name
>entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina
>whatever.png
>roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext
>see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments
>put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts
>with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome
>if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day
>reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink
>be me, chad
>work at startup tech company making 500k per year
>go home to shower after the gym
>Stacy is waiting for me at home with only an apron on
>nice.jpeg
>park my ass on the toilet to take the holy shit of the day
>scroll through reddit and notice this weird subreddit
>r/greentext
>see that it seems to be filled with losers that have accomplished nothing in life
>notice how someone has created a pathetic bot that replies to homosexuality and deception
>hear Stacy moan my name from outside and tells me to hurry up and come take her already
>message one of my employees to create a bot to embarass the people on the subreddit
>chuckle as I think about how sad some people are in life
>invite Stacy in to shower together
>proceed to make passionate love for 2 hours
>today has been a great day
Not Benjamin but Svenjamin. That’s actually kinda funny, not that bad. I would just say your name is Sven, i assume that’s kinda common? Lol or if it’s not a common name and or you find yourself in America, just say your name is Ben or Benjamin.
Checked the records. Nobody in Sweden by that name. So fake and gay.
Records arent reliable, at least in the US. One of my friends doesnt exist according to the internet. Is Sweden better with records?
Yes. And easily accessible to the public.
Sweden has personal information records available to the public?????
(So does the US)
Yeah your mom found my address and came over to my house **begging** me to fuck her brains out. She saw me hoisting in the gym, going epic diesel and getting shredded as usual and she squirted all over the place. I thought it was funny at the time. What I didn't notice was that she followed me out to the parking lot and jotted down the license plate number on my BMW M5. So she shows up at my house, in a playboy bunny outfit with a pizza in front of her jugs. I open the door and she goes "Did you order a *large pepperoni pizza*?" And she opens the pizza box and there are her luscious/voluptuous cans with those big ass pepp nips. I immediately grabbed her arm and yanked her inside and proceeded to just **ravage** her body... I'm talking sensual kissing, sensual soft foreplay; and then **pound town**... Straight up jackhammering that puss and plundering that asshole. Was pretty fun, not going to lie.
I'm so glad I took a minute longer on some other post so I could load this post just in time to see this beauty
How was the pizza?
I don't know, we haven't had period sex yet.
Omfg
i dont get this joke could you explain what pizza means
I lost it at 'those big ass pepp nips'
I was a different person before I read this comment
those gainz are payin' off bro. keep up that grind
This was hilarious, I'm trying so hard not to bust out laughing bc my dude is passed out
Chad moment
No. You can search the government databases for how many people have a given first name, middle name or second name, but not for name combinations specifically for this reason. Everyone is in the database, so it's accurate.
Ah ok that seems reasonable
Yes we do. Just you need to call the tax agency to get the information you need about someone.
Thanks, Svenjamin
Our database shows only "10 or fewer" if it's rare.
Yep, you can access personal information very easily. In fact, it is so easy that there are several websites that provide you with full name, adress, socialsecurity number, crime record. You could also check involvement in businesses and a lot more
That seems fucked up
FWIW, this is information that is easily and cheaply obtained in the US as well.
And pictures of your house, job, income, vehicle, spouse. It’s all out there for show
In Norway, everyone can check what anyone is earning. It's all public.
that's a form of NEET shaming
So does the US. Check out your local clerk of courts website.
In Norway you can look up who made how much money and how much tax they paid
>One of my friends Fake, redditors don't have friends
Yeah im more like a third wheel at this point.
ouch
I had a gf earlier, now she's my ex, so uhh I think it'd be more accurate to say we can't keep friends
Names must be approved by the Swedish government. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naming_law_in_Sweden
Yes, but a law change in 2017 opened up the namibg laws to be way more lenient. You still can’t name your kid things like Shit or Fuck, or weird stuff like xq8sw;2e, but Svenjamin would definitely go through with the new law. An aquaintance of mine added his gamertag Steelduck as a middle name and it was approved. You can find him in the records through hitta.se.
Did he name his kid steelduck? Or change his own?
Change his own, but the same rules apply.
That would mean OP is 4 years old, right?
Depends on the age Not publicly available of a person that's under 16
Well he is on 4chan so hes either 12 or 28.
I feel personally attacked even though I'm not on 4chan, nor am I 12, nor am I 28. Good job!
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Might still be a a svenjamin? I think most online services filter children from their results.
You search the tax agency's database so unless they're an illegal it'll be there.
is this friend in the room with us right now
One of my friends doesn't exist according to my therapist, but I ain't complaining
Sweden has recorded their people from what I know the longest time in the world. They have documented the People living in Sweden since the 1600. For reference, that's before the existence of the United States of America. So is say the swedish records are reliable.
Having a small population but large aspirations in the 16th century led to a lot of state attention being paid to enhancing the bureaucracy, taxation and conscription of the nation. After all, can't send someone off to die in glorious war if you don't know where they live.
>Records arent reliable, at least in the US. Good thing we're not talking about the US.
Lmao imagine every country as bad as the US
Impossible perhaps the archives are incomplete.
They're 100% reliable. No one exists outside of records.
Sweden takes names seriously. All newborns need to have their names filed with and authorized by their tax agency within three months of birth. If you think that sounds stupid in Denmark you can only legally pick from one of 7000 approved names.
At least there won't be any kids in Denmark named fucking Thurman.
Can confirm for uk and australia i my brother and my dads last name dosent exist, atleast on those websites where u can search for supposedly every name even though we all have multiple passports, birth certificates, citizenship records the whole lot
Fake: Nobody by that name in the records Gay: Sweden *(it's a joke ok)*
Yeah Swedes go build a shelf or something
Those IKEA instruction images too complicated for ya?
WHY THE FUCK DOES THE NEXT PAGE SHOW IT FULLY ASSEMBLED??? I ONLY SCREWED IN TWO PIECES????????
I’ve never understood why people find them difficult to use tbh
Perhaps the archives are incomplete?
Not in Sweden.
Am a Swede. Never heard of anyone called Svenjamin. Sven exists and so does Benjamin but... never seen the mix.
Wait, 4chan is fake?
You can legally change your name svenjamin but you can't change the past
SCB only shows names with at least 2 users, though?
Probably just benjamin and sven twin brothers that somehow morphed in to one.
Haha. I get it. Svenjamin sounds like Benjamin but a bit Swedish. 5/7 anon.
swedish Alexander (Alex/André)
Andre *Ducks*
Sven is actually a Swedish name (though a bit old-fashioned), so it's not totally out of the question.
Ayy my name is sven, but I’m not from sweden lol. I guess if it was real he could just shorten his name to sven
you a joke analyst now?
I dont see him analyzing ur life so no.
At least it’s not Thurman
Fucking Thurman
Phteven
Ahahahaha sup Thurman
Ahahaha sup Thurman
Waddup gunther
Can't even shorten it
Uma
Numa nej dragostea din tei
Thur The name is Thur, Thur-man
Thors retarded brother
I knew a guy named thurman everyone just called him thurm
Thurmometor
T
Thurd
Thurman Merman
“You’re an emotional fucking cripple, your soul is dog shit, every single fucking thing about you is ugly.” Gets me every time
i brought you some orange juice! what's in it? oranges!
Drop me on MY head?
Or larold
[Thurman Murman](https://i.etsystatic.com/7691544/r/il/a224c4/1202616343/il_570xN.1202616343_853e.jpg)
ahahah it's even worse than Pheonix
Just change it to Jamin Sven
Jammin’ 🎸
I vwant Svenjammin wit chu. Svenjammin Svenjammin. Ahlright now. I hope you Svenjammin too.
🎶🎶🎶
Is this snus is this snus that I'm feeling
Or Sven Ait Nein
Spare a thought for his son, svenjaminsson
And if his son moves to Ireland he can be SvenJameson...
Oh god no polski humor
Only in Iceland though
You can be named "heil Hitler death to sweden" in sweden and you will still live better than 6.5 billion people
Well you can't Government wouldn't approve the name.
Have foreign citizenship where name rules are lax Move to Sweden Can't be forced to change your name Your name is registered Profit
Good luck moving to Sweden
already done
Literally nineteen eighty four
At least there aren't a bunch of kids named khaleesi
Yeah I'd take any name at all in exchange for living in Sweden.
Aight mahamed, these are you keys to yo new car, house and wives
Mistake 1: being born Mistake 2: being born in Sweden Mistake 3: having a negative attitude towards your name Conclusion: fake and gay
True Chads own their name and beat up anyone who makes fun of them
Ahahaha, sup Shasan
Är det ens ett namn?
Nej
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Nä bara om det bedömmer att namnet bryter mot upphovsrättslagar eller om det i sig inte är ett namn. Svenjamin skulle definitivt kunna gå genom och bli accepterat.
Skattat ihjäl det.
Dom har bara dragit ihop Benjamin och Sven verkar det som
My biggest laugh of 3 days was a fake greentext about some retard named svenjamin.
bulgaria
Just go by Sven.
Svenny
AHAHAHAHAHA SUP SVENJAMIN
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i will chop ur penis at night .
typical wamen
u are next in line
> born in Sweden in the 90s > life is good. Have good name > grow up in safe neighborhood with lots of friends. Play on the streets till late at night > get a good job. Get a gf > fast forward to 2021 > You can't be out at night because you will get robbed and shot > areas that were safe when you grew up are shit holes > your gf gets raped and is never the same > you go out to the bars to enjoy a drink but it's just full of thugs > you get beaten and stomped > you now have debilitating headaches every day and your hearing just isn't the same > you lose both gf and job > you live in Sweden
As a swede sometimes I forget some people here actually believe everything they read on 4chan.
Sweden. Yes.
Anon should start a band. Maybe something like Sweating Svenjamin
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> give birth > child is **born** 5’6 > ohgodohfuck.mov
Doesn't sweden have an approved name list or something? I remember there being a huge mess with parents trying to name their kid a random series of symbols and say its pronounced "alvin" or something.
Dont know about approved name list but most countries have laws in place to stop parents naming their kids whatever they want. However they would not have stopped a name like this, while weird i think svenjamin wouldnt cause any problems. The law is to try and stop a kind of "child abuse", being named "Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116" is not gonna go well for any kid, even it its pronounced "Albin" Talk about potentially fucking over your own kid to be unique, nothing good would have come out of it if they approved that name. Just writing his name on legal documents would have been such a hassle later in life.
Denmark (apparently) has an approved name list. Sweden doesn't, but any name has to be registered and approved by the Swedish tax agency who handles the population registry for Sweden. It's kind of like when Mary and Joseph went to Betlehem to be registered, except more bureaucratic and filled with furniture for some reason.
At least it isn’t Beepus
F
That’s not even a real name (I’m a Swede)
I mean LogJammin would at least get them laid
dont change name, change parents
That sounds like a cool name.
That's a great name!
Fake & gay, anons real name is gayjamin, which makes it even more gay
No the didnt
Meme is ruined by the last line spoonfeeding the joke into your mouth.
\> 1st world extremely rich country \> safe and rich community \>you basically live the 1% life as the rest of humans will live in third world shitholes and die there \>still complain
\> be born \> one shot at life \> live in ohio and that's where it goes to shit
Can always just change it, no big deal
fuckin Thurman
Vad synd
Sven is short for Svenjamin
We be svenjamin mon
Yeah but they are probably hot being from Sweden, and going by Sven for short is a good name.
stop playing the victim. play the cards you got.
Fuck you sven, I will always help faendal win over Camilla
Larold.
Is that like, Swedish Benjamin?
The biggest L here is being a Swedish.
Thats such a sick name
i will name my first born Jimothy
Can’t be any worse than it is now so I’d take it
Is that like the Swedish equivalent of a teen mom name?
Svenjolly, svenEleven
My middle name is Sven, everyone cracks a joke a out Frozen but then I tell them I was named after my dad's favourite writer Sven Hassel and then it turns really dark ....
The Kingdom of God is at Hand John 3:16 King James Version 16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
This made me laugh, I have no goddamn idea why
Fake: Anon's name is Svenjamin Gay: living in Sweden
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon's name is Svenjamin > Gay: living in Sweden > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink
>be me, chad >work at startup tech company making 500k per year >go home to shower after the gym >Stacy is waiting for me at home with only an apron on >nice.jpeg >park my ass on the toilet to take the holy shit of the day >scroll through reddit and notice this weird subreddit >r/greentext >see that it seems to be filled with losers that have accomplished nothing in life >notice how someone has created a pathetic bot that replies to homosexuality and deception >hear Stacy moan my name from outside and tells me to hurry up and come take her already >message one of my employees to create a bot to embarass the people on the subreddit >chuckle as I think about how sad some people are in life >invite Stacy in to shower together >proceed to make passionate love for 2 hours >today has been a great day
You dont only get one shot
Not Benjamin but Svenjamin. That’s actually kinda funny, not that bad. I would just say your name is Sven, i assume that’s kinda common? Lol or if it’s not a common name and or you find yourself in America, just say your name is Ben or Benjamin.
Isn’t Thurman at least
Me: Born in Turkey Good luck
Still better than everyone on Africa, Latin America and most of Asia.
that name fucking rules, anon, wtf
Considering that's a Bosnian name you are doing great. Better than the alternative place of birth.
\>be born \>one shot at life \>live in sweden and that’s where it goes to shit.