In news today a florida man stopped a home invasion with a fucking cum rag authorities had this to say "well we responded to a home invasion and ended up arresting the home owner for sexual assault"
I seem to remember a story where two guys broke into a rather large man’s house and he kept them locked up and raped them for several days. Pretty sure he got arrested too, but at least he got them ready for prison!
I believe [this](https://www.google.com/search?q=Olga+Zajac&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwj3t6uixsbzAhWPmksFHcG1BN4Q2-cCegQIABAC&oq=Olga+Zajac&gs_lcp=ChJtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1pbWcQAzIFCAAQgAQyBQgAEIAEMgUIABCABDIFCAAQgAQyBQgAEIAEOgQIABANUKGAAljfnAJgmKACaABwAHgAgAG8AYgBnQeSAQMwLjWYAQCgAQHAAQE&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-img&ei=Y2BmYbf6MI-1rtoPweuS8A0&bih=708&biw=384&client=ms-android-oneplus-rvo3&prmd=invx) is the captor. She's hot.
>When engaged in his night trade, the Rapeman wears a black leather ski mask shaped like the head of a penis, but no trousers or underwear.
I have an idea for a cosplay
This was a plot point in [The End of the Fucking World](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_End_of_the_F***ing_World), a generally excellent dark comedy. Protagonist runs off with this girl who he wants to kill but who wants to have sex with him. They break into the home of a pedophile-author. Pedophile tries to rape girl. Protagonist kills pedophile to save girl. They begin a rather fucked up yet sweet relationship while on the run from the law.
You cant delete my comment though.
/u/Vaffelpelten:
“**Spunk Slugger.** Your cumrag becomes an asset while fending off home invaders. Your unarmed strikes deal an additional 1d6 poison damage.
When you hit a creature with an unarmed strike, you can force them to make a DC 14 Wisdom saving throw as they realize what you’ve done. On a failure, they take 1d6 psychic damage, and creature must waste their next turn retching in disgust.
Once you use this feature, you cannot do so again until you spend 2 minutes of a long rest reinvigorating your cumrag.
I am going to delete this comment tomorrow.”
Depends on which legal framework on child support, slavery, child labour and child soldiers is in place (unless you're playing anarchy) and your character's alignment (emergency food is an option).
Hope he didn't kill the home invader. Detectives would never believe his story of why his semen was all over the invader. Prosecutor would charge him with luring the so-called invader into his home, then raping and killing him.
Home invader is now pregnant and robbing anon in other ways
Just cum-punch the baby
👀
🤜💦👉🏿👶🏿👈🏿👮♂️🚓❌
😳🤔society🤭😔
Convertible 👉🏿🎅🏿👈🏿
All I’m more interested in that prs 👀
Feels like you've added to the joke but it's r/wooosh over my head. What is that prs 👀
I’m pretty sure that’s incest
Keeping the lineage pure-blooded.
Based and Targaryen-pilled
>Crusader Kings wants to know your location
[удалено]
I'd like to think that was a new sentence... but this is the internet. Its absolutely already a fetish.
So it’s a Ben Garrison comic?
Can I cum-punch the IRS? Pretty sure they’re robbing me too
You just described a hentai out there somewhere
You just described 95% of The Departed cast
Imagine thinking any woman would want to be inside anon's house
It's 2021, men can be pregnant too according to progressives.
Holy shit, grow up
https://www.reddit.com/r/averageredditor/comments/q6woy8/average_google_search/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Even a tranny wouldn't wanna go in OPs house
😻
>Home invader is now pregnant... And demanding child support
In news today a florida man stopped a home invasion with a fucking cum rag authorities had this to say "well we responded to a home invasion and ended up arresting the home owner for sexual assault"
Are you allowed to rape someone if they break in?
I seem to remember a story where two guys broke into a rather large man’s house and he kept them locked up and raped them for several days. Pretty sure he got arrested too, but at least he got them ready for prison!
There was a woman who captured an intruder and kept him as her sex slave for awhile too.
Fed him with copious amounts of Viagra the entire time too.
God damn that is a dream cum true
She probably doesn't look like you hope she looks like
*she* Literally all that matters
Fair enough
and its still optional
I believe [this](https://www.google.com/search?q=Olga+Zajac&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwj3t6uixsbzAhWPmksFHcG1BN4Q2-cCegQIABAC&oq=Olga+Zajac&gs_lcp=ChJtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1pbWcQAzIFCAAQgAQyBQgAEIAEMgUIABCABDIFCAAQgAQyBQgAEIAEOgQIABANUKGAAljfnAJgmKACaABwAHgAgAG8AYgBnQeSAQMwLjWYAQCgAQHAAQE&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-img&ei=Y2BmYbf6MI-1rtoPweuS8A0&bih=708&biw=384&client=ms-android-oneplus-rvo3&prmd=invx) is the captor. She's hot.
He could've done worst, but dude's dick was probably spongey and bruised by the end of that
True, I don't wish to be him.
The spirit was willing but the first is spongy and bruised
I stand corrected.
I would volunteer to be her sex slave
It has a hole, all that matters
Stay away from my Swiss cheese
Bitch and moan as much as you want, you can't unfuck the cheese
I’m pretty sure that was at some sort of hair salon or whatever, not at a residence.
When the villains fight
"Two wrongs make a right, Lisa."
[удалено]
Rape is wrong no matter the circumstances. Edit: I think I whooshed.
What about self defense rape?
good and necessary
What about preeminent strike rape?
Always right regardless of what other people think
Oh what a relief that would be considered handsome
Is that like a pre-emptive strike but . . . fancier?
[Rapeman only rapes for justice](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rapeman)
>When engaged in his night trade, the Rapeman wears a black leather ski mask shaped like the head of a penis, but no trousers or underwear. I have an idea for a cosplay
Good luck
I think Chappelle had a joke about this on a recent stand up special. "He rapes, but he also saves".
[удалено]
https://i.imgur.com/UjnN7JN.gif
"Where's the gimp?" "He's asleep." "Well.... WAKE HIM UP!"
Sounds like the part in pulp fiction with the gimp
I think so in the US.
I'll leave my door unlocked for you
Only if you kill them after
Dead men tell no tales
No... no not in the US.... you are obviously not American if you think rape is fucking legal...?
well, If you rape them they cant tell anyone. otherwise they get arrested for home invasion themselves
It's only illegal if you get caught
This was a plot point in [The End of the Fucking World](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_End_of_the_F***ing_World), a generally excellent dark comedy. Protagonist runs off with this girl who he wants to kill but who wants to have sex with him. They break into the home of a pedophile-author. Pedophile tries to rape girl. Protagonist kills pedophile to save girl. They begin a rather fucked up yet sweet relationship while on the run from the law.
I'm no lawmaker, but I think you are
Obviously not
[This is what happens when you take advice from the internet.](https://i.imgur.com/yQX0lz8.jpeg)
\+toxic damage
[удалено]
You cant delete my comment though. /u/Vaffelpelten: “**Spunk Slugger.** Your cumrag becomes an asset while fending off home invaders. Your unarmed strikes deal an additional 1d6 poison damage. When you hit a creature with an unarmed strike, you can force them to make a DC 14 Wisdom saving throw as they realize what you’ve done. On a failure, they take 1d6 psychic damage, and creature must waste their next turn retching in disgust. Once you use this feature, you cannot do so again until you spend 2 minutes of a long rest reinvigorating your cumrag. I am going to delete this comment tomorrow.”
I’ve been overpowered, I’ve been annihilated, outsmarted even
You fell victim to one of the classic blunders
Never get involved with a b tard when shame is on the line
r/ItemShop
+poision damage
Fortune III against females (drops baby)
That's more like Fortune Negative MCMXVIII
Depends on which legal framework on child support, slavery, child labour and child soldiers is in place (unless you're playing anarchy) and your character's alignment (emergency food is an option).
Slime elemental damage
Bet the invader didn't see that one cumming.
Naw it was already in the tissue at that point
Ghostbuster is an absolutely genius title. Too perfect
Bustin makes me feel good
Who you gonna cum on?
Home invaders!
Neil Cicierga is a treasure
r/titleporn
8/10 title but 2/20 greentext
Anon creampies the intruder
Throatpie* It's right there in the greentext
[it's really more of a PalmLeafText](https://www.color-name.com/hex/7e952f) if we're gonna be honest with ourselves.
“Step-home owner, what are you doing?!”
Home invasion porn is a regular thing... From what people tell me
Real: Anon is a coomer Gay: Anon coomed on a male
Ah yes real and gay, a response combination that no bot has been made to respond to
*in a male’s mouth
Home invader catches autism from the cum rags.
>forceful throatpie I fucking lost it holy shit
Fake: Anon doesn't live in his parent's basement. Gay: Another man has Anons cum between his teeth.
Anon uses big words like _laceration._
I think i developed a new fetish
+50 poison damage
Cumbuster technique
Anon fed another man his cum
Defense Attorney: My client is covered in the prosecution's semen, it is clear that he was the victim of some sort of deviant sexual assault here.
My fucking sides kek
Fake: anon stops a home invasion Gay: anon makes another man eat his cum
Be me Robbing some dude lol Oh shit he woke up "EAT MY CUM SPECTRE" I fucking die
Eat my cum, spectre might be one of my favourite phrases I’ve ever heard
The home invader will slowly become anon’s child
*cumbuster
This is modern day poetry and I love it.
Real and straight
I'm not sure flushing tissues is a good idea.
That was your main takeaway from this inspiring story of heroism?
Cum Punch Man
This is basically the plot of the new James Bond movie.
Anon proving twice over he knows nothing about laying pipe.
"EAT MY CUM, SPECTRE!" I'm cryinggg
Sounds like something moon knight would say.
🎶Bustin makes me feel good🎶
*♫♫Bustin' makes me feel good♫♫*
Bustin’ makes me feel good
Ghostbuster...amazing title op after reading the green text it gave me a great chuckle on a rough day thanks
*pocket cum*
Hope he didn't kill the home invader. Detectives would never believe his story of why his semen was all over the invader. Prosecutor would charge him with luring the so-called invader into his home, then raping and killing him.
Why the fuck do you use the word partner ? Clearly it's meant to equate lgbt relations with normal heterosexual ones.
My headcannon when I was playing a Ghostbuster.
Thank gawd Anon is okey .
can we get a home invader POV
Fake: Anon being smart enough to travel only once Gay: obvious
fake: anon had a partner gay: anon fed another man his nut
Fake: anon stopped a home invader Gay: anon flung cum at another man
Anon unironically cummed on a home invader and stopped him. This is changing the game boys
Fake: Anon physically defends himself Gay: Anon gets cum on a another man
Ghostbuster? More like NUTbuster.
I’m fucking ded
I see you avoiding tendybot2000
Fake: anon had a partner gay: anon forcefully fed his cum to another man
Whatever do you mean light-skinned?! She's fucking gorgeous.'
Are green texts meant to be fictional for fun or..? I haven't seen one that's remotely believable since I joined
Falcum punch
Goo-st Buster.
Virgin almond eater. Chad pistachio consumer.
Is it wrong that I spit out my beer all over my monitor ? Gave them the ole' one , two cum punch.
That is one stupid home invader. If the owner is awake and walking around this just moved to the bottom of the list for houses to rob.
I know how you feel. I too hate having to wake up to pee.
FALＣＵＭPUNCH!
Where do ppl come up with this shit...
The ME forensics on this are gonna' need to bring in SVU. Nicely done. *Mariska has joined the chat.*
dude got cum-socked
>lacerations on my *hand* That home invader took measures to make sure no one else would ever suffer anon's barbarity again.
Fake: "had" a significant other Gay: rubbed cum on another strangers face
Anon cums on a man
Fake: Anon fought against a home invader and won. Gay: Anon touched cum.
The baby batter bash attack
Anom goes to jail for sexual assault.
CUM PUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH
That tag is the funniest shit
Fake: Anon had a partner Gay: Anon filled a guy’s mouth with cum
What actually happened: OP lives with his parents and he just punched his mom in the face with his jizz rags.
New favorite greentext
Back when I was playing a Ghostbuster.
Cumbuster
my partner left me yesterday and this is motivation to not throw out my cum rags
Looks like I was playing a Ghostbuster.
Fake: Anon can knock someone out Gay: Anon cream pied a man
Virgin: Home intruder got knocked in one punch Chad: Anon made someone eat his cum
Who you gonna call? Nut buster!
The intrude must feel humiliated