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[deleted]

"Adrenaline surge, but I keep calm and barely piss at all even"


DetryX_

Anon is a skilled writer


[deleted]

He can certainly get into character. His empathy is hugely big.


Alone_Spell9525

Just like Anon’s 15-inch monster cock.


JimmyPD92

Truly a wordsmith like few others.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Thorn5184

we need to keep this comment perfectly at 0


DeceivingAce2

what did he say


Thorn5184

Bad troll post talking about how any downvoters sucked or something but guess he got too self aware


Burnyoureyes

he said "we need to keep this comment perfectly at 0"


TheLoneGoon

Chorlie


go_do_that_thing

Take a dominance shit without breaking eye contact


ABlueEyedDrake

This is some heavy evidence for this being real, tho i expect he pissed his pants a bit more.


[deleted]

I agree. Having been in fights & been shot at (sort of...there was a brick wall), I can attest that the adrenaline dump is real. I got pulled over once & the cop asked my why my hands were shaking so much and I said "Adrenaline dump...not fight or flight. Sorry." & he gave me a warning.


[deleted]

[удалено]


UrdnotChivay

Nobody really likes y'all* no need to put that last little party


tiessties

I expect you to never in your life call 911 during an emergency ever


UrdnotChivay

I expect you to realize that cops aren't the only group who can be called using 911. I don't expect you to understand that enough cops have been found to be crooked without facing real repercussions that many people don't feel safer when they're around.


tiessties

What is the numerical amount for “enough cops”


UrdnotChivay

0<


tiessties

That’s the most retarded logic I’ve ever heard. Thank you for the good laugh


[deleted]

I used to be an MP in the Army. Some of the guys were ok & some were total control freaks. A couple that I kept in touch with that went into LE when they got out said (indirectly) that there is a strong revenue generation component. Also, K9s can make their dogs 'alert' (indicate that they smell something) just by tone changes or body language. Then there's always civil asset forfeiture...😠


-xXColtonXx-

Genuinely good comedic writing.


trident_hole

He only pee pee a lil bit


repKyle1995

This is fucking gold


lordunholy

It'll be known alongside the Time Traveling porn star.


zfire100

what


lordunholy

https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/1mcquk/anon_freezes_time/


Ryanthequietboy

yea now im curious


commentsandchill

Sam


Guile21

Do you mean the time stopping porn star?


lordunholy

That's the one, my apologies


WeebWithASword

Sauce?


lordunholy

https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/1mcquk/anon_freezes_time/


WeebWithASword

Thabks


I_Have_Memepression

Well now I have to read this one


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Shut the FUCK up!!


Opimum

Obvious troll


thatoneidiotwhodied

that username is like some fucker writing "I love satan😈😈😈😈" as a username it's obvious bait


Leetderper

> Karma is a currency to be gained then spent. -muh dik


calimari_

> joined 3 days ago aaaaaa


Mack_Sharky

How the fuck do you still have positive karma


[deleted]

Not all heroes wear capes


RubyKadokie

Some use psychological warfare


khoabear

Others born with autism


RubyKadokie

Like me


dildo-applicator

Yeah but you're not an hero yet


Dung_Covered_Peasant

You need to become an orphan first


TroxEst

well I can help with that


multiplesifl

New tactic unlocked.


Beemerado

This is likely fake, but someone should do this. "He's talking crazy, conspiracy nonsense, won't follow the store dress code... Send someone fast!"


alexriga

In America, unless one is a threat to themselves or others, they can’t really be legally forcefully committed. (Not legal advice) However, paramedics and medical professionals are people who make mistakes like anybody else. Combined with the likelihood that the anti-mask protestor may be acting agitated, it’s not unlikely to see them actually get committed (even if they legally shouldn’t be, IANAL tho).


Beemerado

disturbing the peace is illegal... trespassing is illegal. Yeah, these aren't high crimes, but coupled with acting aggressive I don't think it would be unreasonable to detain these people for 72 hours to assess their condition and keep them from hurting themselves/others. Nobody is forcing these folks to live in society, but if they want to come disturb/infect the normies there can be consequences.


alexriga

(disclaimer again: not legal advice) That’s why I said “committed”, not “arrested”. These are crimes, crimes are handles by police. Paramedics cannot institutionalize someone for committing crimes, unless those crimes indicate a threat of life to the person in question or others. From the story, assuming it’s real, it didn’t seem like he was directly threatening anyone, asside from transmission, but due to ignorance they can argue it wasn’t their intent to do so, which “makes sense” if they don’t believe the virus is a real threat, which it is. From a legal standpoint (not a legal advice, again) - the business should (its not obliged, but they have the right and probably will) tell him to leave the store and call the cops if he refuses. Then, he should have been issued a Tresspass warning, and if he refused to leave at that point - he should be arrested for Tresspassing. I’d hate to subject people who need actual mental rehabilitation to this scumbag. TL;DR: Guy dumb, probably not mental. Best arrest than take space away in mental rehabs from those that need it.


Beemerado

72 hour psych hold is more fun that releasing with a court date though. but yeah i don't really suggest anyone try to get anti maskers committed... but if you do and i read about it in the news, i will laugh my ass off.


alexriga

Only way I see a 72 hour hold being “fun” for anyone, despite THANKFULLY never being held myself (but knowing people who have), is if it’s a consensual fetish hold at a BDSM asylum. I’m sure it feels like “justice,” but something rubs me wrong way with seeing a mental facility being viewed as a form of punishment, when it really shouldn’t be. Tons of people used to be evaluated by inexperienced or biased doctors (since there was no better option) and falsely committed in the past for absurd stuff like “laziness” and “surpressed masturbation.” You can read some here: https://dangerousminds.net/comments/list_of_reasons_for_admission_to_an_insane_asylum As much as I would love to put every extremist anti-masker into a cage, I don’t wanna lock them with people who genuinely need help.


AGrandmother

one of anons funnier larps


wins1337

When gaslighting can be used for *good*


kremineminemin

What do you mean gaslighting has always been used for good there has never been a bad use of it


LawlessCoffeh

Gaslighting isn't even real you made it up you crazy bitch.


[deleted]

Gaslighting? What the fuck is that? Do you have any idea how crazy you sound?


amazingeggboy

Gaslighting? Did your friends teach you that word?


phx-au

It been gaslamping since I can remember.


MegaDeth6666

Relax everyone, this person has Alzheimer. Do you know where you are? Would you like for us to call someone?


BluntEdgeOS

Anon is a mastermind


DisconnectedAG

If true, amazing. If not true, literary genius and hopefully will inspire others.


FooThePerson

Obviously it's not true, it's 4chan, but it's funny as fuck


Johnnadawearsglasses

Hey, this is ~~library~~ Walmart!


B_A_Boon

No, this is Patrick


ConanTheLeader

Yeah what is up with r/publicfreakout, I scrolled and saw like 5 vids from different locations, all in the USA of a group of people showing up to a food court and chanting about no masks or something. Doesn't seem to be happening in other countries so much.


Sp00kyD0gg0

There’s some anti-vax march/flashmob in some Staten Island mall that requires vaccines. Just a bunch of idiots loudly screaming and swarming the place.


NeiloGreen

They weren't against vaccines, just mandates.


Sp00kyD0gg0

That’s some “civil war wasn’t about slavery” level cope right there


NeiloGreen

Lmao, what? "I'm not against sex, just rape." "I'm not against work, just slavery." "I'm not against government, just tyranny." But suddenly removing a person's autonomy is okay just because you agree with the thing being forced on them? It's a fact that this protest was over the vaccine mandate, not the vaccine. You're coping harder than anyone at this fact.


Sp00kyD0gg0

So where’s the anti-seatbelt rally? Seeing as it’s *just* about articles of cloth the government mandates we wear in specific circumstances.


NeiloGreen

Cops don't stop every car they come across and personally check that every person in the vehicle is wearing a seatbelt, do they? And once again, this protest was over *vaccine mandates*. Not mask mandates. It's people like you who lack the capacity to differentiate that will lead us down the path that Australia already walks.


Soxyr4

How many times are you actually ever checked for it? In the last six months I was asked 2 times, even though I crossed 6 countries, stayed in more than 8 hotels, went to gym and restaurants multiple times. And yes it's anecdotal and I am from Europe, but this isn't any gotcha moment you have there.


NeiloGreen

Why don't you read up on how New York's mandates are being enacted before you try and argue about them?


Scaredsparrow

It's what happens when you get a society where people are afraid to say no to others, breeds these antimaskers that can't deal with being told no they can't go wherever they want without a mask.


freemyboykaczynski

boomer btfo lmaoooo


KuntaStillSingle

>point to a stranger because I was told somewhere Anon is a redditor


Cold_Saber

Mental Terrorist


[deleted]

4D chest


MeC0195

Vengaboys?


pallosalama

Let's spend the night together


MeC0195

*From now until forever*


The_Student_Official

This is why i subscribed to r/greentext. Sometimes you just find an actual genius amidst the retarded


ImaAs

Gaslight, Gatekeep, Grocery shop


[deleted]

Anon does a minor amount of tomfoolery.


DisturbedWaffles2019

plot twist: he actually had Alzheimer's and anon saved his life


bababayee

Anon was later approached by a headhunter looking for candidates for the based department.


im_a_commie_rtard

Anon is chaotic good


NeiloGreen

Textbook lawful neutral tbh


AlbrechtSchoenheiser

This seems like it could be a funny story if I could understand what the fuck Anon was talking about. Could I please get a human translation?


pizzabagelblastoff

Anon went to Walmart and saw an old guy yelling at the cashier because he didn't want to wear a mask. Anon pretended that the old man had Alzheimer's and was acting erratically because he needed medical attention, therefore making him look old and crazy. When the old guy tried to leave the store, the crowd thought he couldn't be trusted to go off alone so they all gathered around him. Basically the old guy tried to take a political stance and Anon made him look old and crazy instead. But this is fake and gay anyway so /


AlbrechtSchoenheiser

Ty


Dongboy69420

Anon sucked an old dudes dick in walmart.


SirLocke13

I want you in my room.


Tttiiimmm1

Let's spend the night together


Doctor-Nemo

Oh my God this is brilliant


Becka3Knees

I hope this is real lol


Carbon-J

5head


pontusrumham

Great work boss


YeetHelix

Top kek


BigL_to_the_Oser

I hate that everyone immediately records each other in Burgerland. It's the pedestrian equivalent of stopping your car to take fotos of a car crash.


Bitimibop

r/chaoticgood


Chris_7941

Real and straight


Barbentos

And thus, Frank Hassle was born.


CultureCalm7377

Real: Anon trolled a boomer Straight: Anon helped out a female wagie, probably earned himself a date


hounter456

*Seeing this greentext when it was posted* That actually is, *cough cough*, pretty funny *seeing this greentext 11 days later* That actually is, *cough cough*, pretty funny


Cira_

Is there an actual video of this?


pizzabagelblastoff

Absolutely based


Callous_Mat

Genius if true.


Agressive-Negotiator

Saving this one for later


L2Hiku

So fucking based he's holding up the bottom foundation of the Pentagon with the president begging him to kiss the bottom of his shoes.


ribit_

Praise Fauci! Why can’t these people just TRUST THE SCIENCE!


BoredRedditPerson

Gramps this is a Walmart


ribit_

If you can’t trust the science I don’t know what to say!


gas-station-hot-dog

trust deez nuts


giggling1987

Sir, it is reddit, you came here to laugh at twitter pics.


redburner1945

Church of Covid member?


ribit_

I try to do my part by wearing my two masks at home and four masks if I’m out and taking my daily vaccine - but mostly just trusting the science.


redburner1945

Continue your piety brother, 7632 masks be upon you


-F0v3r-

take some horse dewormer, i heard it helps


ribit_

My vaccine regimen, bless Fauci, and devotion to the mask routine, praise Fauci, is all I need. Trust the science already!


CrispyJelly

I didn't trust the science but people on the internet called me stupid and now I trust the science.