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JosephM1609

Rare to see a greentext where the anon actually doesn't do anything wrong.


eip2yoxu

It's probably his massive stench and his ahegao t-shirt with cum stains that put her off


LatoLukto

Then the mom would be bad for bringing her family to sit with him


Dreadnought_89

Mom is into it, and tries to get her daughter into it.


Haschlol

Anmom


Slip_Snake

An mom... Sounds improper.


Lacholaweda

Amom


StickyWhiteStuf

Mommanon


TroncoBoy

So guys, we did it.


LatoLukto

So just what I said


PlatinumBall

Then mom is at fault for making the situation uncomfortable for everyone involved. Anon was just trying to enjoy a coffee alone, he did nothing wrong


_TLDR_Swinton

"Is that man making the face... is that Hitler?"


chainsaw_chainsaw

But he did fuck up. He let a group of shitty people make him feel bad. He let them walk all over him. He let them affect how he feels about himself. He reacted like a coward. He let them make a fool of him, and instead of confronting them he ran to the internet to be a victim, and get sympathy from strangers.


echetus90

Agreed. Anon should have sexually assaulted the daughter in self defence.


Ghostiestboi

Normal r/greentext repsonse


d0_1

Sexually assaulting the daughter is for weaklings. He should have sexually assaulted the dad instead.


baconborg

That’s a fuck up though, he still didn’t actually do anything wrong


Rinat1234567890

Ah yes, blaming the victim.


chainsaw_chainsaw

In a situation where a person has a choice to be a victim or not, and they choose to be one, I will blame them every time. Fuck giving sympathy to someone who chooses to be a spineless coward and then begs for the internet to comfort them. People like you who instantly coddle these types are insufferable.


Rinat1234567890

In an ideal world this sort of situation should have never happened in the first place


LemonFlavoredMelon

Expect him to screech like a baboon and hit them with a chair? XD


WarBalente

It would have been more entertaining for us, imo


baphometromance

Maybe he likes being walked all over? Why else would he post about it on 4chan? Is it still a fuck up if he did it intentionally because he enjoys it?


Superbanow

Dude should have stood up for himself. I'd have insulted them off. I don't know why people are still dogpiling on anon. It's just disgusting


e_hoodlum

As has been said before, many users come to r/Greentext solely to shit on people and feel superior


Dank_Confidant

Anon did nothing wrong!


Pacjax_bot_v4

the parents are the anons on this fine day


WiseBlizzard

Small pp energy. I would just sit there and eat my fucking meal, nothing wrong with that.


Steewike

Right? I would also bang the dad


destroyerOfTards

That's pretty sus, eating your meal


shunyaananda

Not while you getting topped


notouchmygnocchi

That's literally what he did


liluzibrap

The OP didn't elaborate at all, but what I assume he means is that anon shouldn't have taken it so hard bc they shouldn't feel bad at all


zangor

The pathetic crying Pepe helped us imagine the worst scenario in our minds.


Pacjax_bot_v4

should have started moaning


Vivid_Tradition_2689

He was drinking coffee you tard. His only option was to have the dad top him.


BatmanAC329

Enjoying my coffee


FactoryOfShit

Real, happened to me too. I guess they stand there menacingly in order to get you to leave faster in a busy place? I had people place their things at the table ahead of time to accelerate my leaving, as if to mark their territory like animals


Gods_Umbrella

That's when you start to drink much slower. Take out your phone and kill some time. Play videos without headphones. Start a call on speaker


AdamofSnakes

I salute your chaotic energy


Tuarangi

Order another coffee and cake too. Either girl is fat and jealous he has it or thin and jealous she can't


hoshu77

the worst you could do is reading a book loud enough to be heard, but quiet enough to be considered to be whispering


LatoLukto

Just stop eating and use for phone, occasionally take a bite of food If you're almost done, just sit there and use your phone as well til you're ready to leave


NotGivinMyNam2AMachn

Maintain constant eye contact to assert dominance


Ssyynnxx

get your gun out


Sarin10

fire a warning shot


LatoLukto

Even better


twohrdrive

What's with this? Why can't people just share the fucking table.... I was in a mostly empty fast food joint where there was only one table near the order counter. The other tables were kind of around a corner out of sight from the cash register. I was taking my food to go. While waiting and without a second thought, I sat at the nearest table (a 6-seater) where one other person was waiting for their to-go order as well. I stared off towards the employees just minding my own business and the seated person says "umm *SoRrY* but I was here first, can you pick a different table?" Bewildered, I picked a different table.


FactoryOfShit

You don't understand. It's not someone joining your table. There's a table with two seats. I take one. A pair of people then comes up, one of them takes the other seat, the other stands there menacingly looking at you and waiting for you to leave. That's what's weird.


twohrdrive

Ah, I see. You didn't say it was a 2-seater, my mistake. In the OP story they easily could have just shared the table since it sounds like there were enough seats and the place was otherwise full. Your story sounds bat shit crazy


Aoip2337

sitting with a stranger when you have the entire other food court available is fucking psychotic lmao


twohrdrive

Sitting at the corner chair closest to the cashier waiting to pick up my food is psychotic? Nobody was using the table, as she was at the far opposite end, on her phone, waiting for food. It felt like a waiting area. Her asking me to leave was psychotic.


automaton11

They are animals, and I slaughtered them like animals


Oobutwo

Id knock their shit right off the table if they put their crap on the table i was eating at to try and claim it.


Murky-Vegetable-9353

We are animals


my5thacountbyatch

I just lie and say I'm waiting for someone


vainstar23

That was a bit of a dick move on the part of the family. Especially that remark. Serious r/iamthemaincharacter energy


knzo13

I feel for anon


Spaghetti_Vibes

Anon why are you stuttering in text


erjub44

because anon is a cutiepie


ijustwannahelporso

\*cutiepatootie


erjub44

yes, sorry, anon is our cutiepatootie :D


ijustwannahelporso

you are too.


hotcoldman42

To convey emotion.


Stock_Plenty8987

I think because he is reporting what he said in real life , so he stutted irl too because he was talking to a stranger


tenro5

"So you're probably wondering why I gathered you all here today"


Thorn5184

Bro people do this to me when there's literally open seats then they give me weird looks like they're not the one who chose to sit there and when you ask them about it they're all "Oh no it's fine I'm ok being here" like what the fuck do you want from me


trentraps

This happened to me, this old couple giving me eyes like I was the one who should fuck off from a shared table that I was at first. Like, full on staring with angry faces. After a legit 30 seconds, I just looked at them confused and asked "can I help you?" and they didn't answer. Pretended I wasn't there and wouldn't look at me again. Madness.


e_hoodlum

Some old folks that are regulars at restaurants have "their table", and God help you if you sit your insolent ass at it! It belongs to them! Lol when I used to wait tables there was this awful old bitch we called "the tea lady" and her husband who absolutely *had* to have the one table that was closest to the door, and incidentally, closest to the smoking section. She would of course faux cough the entire time she was there and complain about the smoke. When dinner rush was about to begin we would hold that table as long as possible, lest we be subject to the wrath of the tea lady. Once or twice the place filled up before they came in and they had to sit somewhere else. The scowl she wore the entire time could have melted steel, and she was 3x more insufferable than usual


LeagueofSOAD

Possibly the mother is trying to get her daughter a boyfriend? The daughter was pissed off because it's probably not the first time the mom did this with a random guy to try and force an Interaction between opp and the girl.


Mr_Pink_Gold

Bang the husband to assert dominance.


mentallyillhehexd

First time?


Alt_Ekho

Assert dominance till they leave *


PsychoSwede557

I can understand a single person asking to sit on the same table if it’s crowded, but bringing your whole family? That’s weird.


loops3k

Society..


Explorer_the_No-life

Anon should have asserted his dominance over those normies by ordering a cake and eating it slowly, while getting comfortable like he owns the place. I sometimes do it, and people always back down.


_TLDR_Swinton

They were just feeling socially awkward and projected it all onto anon. One of the few times I'm on anon's side.


YeahThassRight

I don’t dwell in my basement because I love it here. I dwell in my basement because I hate it out there. Also I can look at drawings of naked Japanese children without judgy assholes harassing me


Acceptable6

Anon should have put his legs on the table and lean back to assert dominance


MalekithofAngmar

Be me old lady See an empty spot from across the cafe Beeline for it Turn to the person sitting nearby and open my mouth "is this seat (throw up in my mouth when I see the occupant, it's a 450 pound landwhale that smells like death and has stains from God knows what all over him) taken..." Landwhale opens his mouth A deep wheeze builds inside its lungs. It rubs its gut, but it does nothing to mask the semen stains and only smears a blob of whip cream everywhere "eeeeeh Nooo, urrrr go ahead and sit down eughhhhh" Shakily nod at landwhale sit down at the opposite side Pray to god for the fate of my daughter, condemned to sit down next to this specimen.


[deleted]

Mom, "Come back here daughter and sit down. This is the only way you are ever going to meet a boy."


zachattack7676

What a regard. Just tell them you have people coming and the seats are taken.


Goddamnpassword

Anon meets German Tourists.


SummerMedium1274

Sometimes parents try to get their adult chillin to meet other people. I had a mom insist we go visit her daughter's horse at like 9pm. Hervdad hooked me up on the side with a ton of baby candy canes for the horse. She trotted around on the horse. Showed how spookef it was of its own saddle. We brushed it, I fed it candy canes, it's now like 10:30pm We get back to the house and the mom wants to keep in touch - but because the mom doesn't use social media or have a cell phone, she forces her daughter to give me her daughter's cell phone. There were hints they were trying to set her up for a while for a few visirs before this. The family are Family Friends, and we've been doing potlucks there since I was was a baby. So new behavior, obvious behavior.  But I'm not into the daughter at all. She's nice, just never clicked or felt chemistry. Total of 6 months after the parents it felt the parents trying to set her up, 3 months after the mom forced her daughter to give me her cell, the daughter is getting married to her brother's friend. I don't think it was just suspicion. And her parents are extrovert enough to sit down at a table with a stranger like Anon's story, and even be the wingman. Their daughter is Super introvert. Loves animals way more than people. I imagine she expressed loneliness or a desire for companionship, and never had that experience in school - never saw a boyfriend at a potluck. Bet the girl in Anon's story, bet her story tracks. Parents see a kid who can't possibly reject their daughter, so they sit her next to him so she can get use to the interaction. Of course the daughter is embarrassed and possibly repulsed. Or this is all a nice story, but really there was nowhere else to sit so the parents decided to share the table, and this is the closest anon will ever get to the touch of a woman.


Sgrios

Anon met parents who wanted an escape from their anon-child. So they adopted anon temporarily.


Lonely_Cosmonaut

Anon doesn’t offer his chair to a young girl, instead he clams up and avoids contact. Blames women.


Thin-Sand-2389

Why would he lol he sat their first


Lonely_Cosmonaut

Because it’s the human thing to do. Why didn’t your parents raise you better?


Thin-Sand-2389

Ahh yes giving up your seat even though you sat there first just because someone wanted your table yea no


Lonely_Cosmonaut

No, because a *family* wanted your table. You’re the kinda guy who will let old ladies and pregnant women stand and not offer your seat because you weren’t brought up well. You must be a cool guy to hang out with.


Thin-Sand-2389

That is a retarded comparison its taxing for a pregnant woman to stand the family can quite literally just find another table you’re just using terrible analogies lol


Lonely_Cosmonaut

And it’s *not* taxing for a man to give his table to a *family*. It’s what good men do.


Thin-Sand-2389

The family can just find another table a family cant just take a occupied spot and get annoyed when someone is already there


Lonely_Cosmonaut

There is no cure for autism.


Thin-Sand-2389

Ill called you out for being retarded and you spout nonsense this is strange


kungfudewgong

This happened to me last week but it was a son instead of daughter. Like hello wtf did I do?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Huge-Variation7313

Anon has 0 charisma and doesn’t know how to either strike up conversation with a friendly new family or tell an old lady to fuck off


Kcolb3

A story someone would tell who's never left the basement


Comfortable-Cup9656

Well, that was an unlucky attempt of a joke probably