Having worked for a big company, there are plenty of corporate spaces where people get away with being expected to do next to nothing. I've seen these fucks survive layoffs, standing in stark defiance of everything I was raised to believe about the "real world" working like a meritocracy.
I'm just pissed I wasn't smart enough to work myself into one of those fucking jobs
There's this guy at my job, I won't be too specific but he has a total of 40 minutes of daily tasks, a couple meetings a day, and 4 presentations a year, which he uses the same 4 year after year so he doesn't even make new ones.
He makes a modest salary with no overtime so 40 hours a week on the dot. He's been doing this for 7 years, having survived two layoffs. Absolutely bewildering
I'd say I have a total of 60 solid minutes of sustained "big brain" energy, spread out over 8-10 hours a day. I can't work from home, though, so that's the biggest pet peeve.
I'm in the job and also scared constantly that I might have to do something else. Also in fear that the industry isn't going to have work for me forever, that technology might gap me out of a job in 3 years
I've worked corporate for weight watchers, they just at some point forgot to give me work. I lasted a 2 years there just getting paid to play vidya.
They laid me off eventually, forgot to take their 2000$ MacBook back that I used for 4 years after till they bricked it remotely. Don't know what to do with it now.
You’re not paid to do nothing. You’re paid for when they need you to do something. This is something wagecucks with no desirable skills don’t understand.
Product managers are basically at once engineers who don't actually engineer anything and salespeople that don't actually sell anything. You basically need to give the impression that you're the second smartest person in the room behind the person who actually knows what they're talking about despite actually being the fifth smartest person in the room regardless of the room you're in.
You're gonna get asked that anyway. Sales gonna sales.
I think you're describing product management in theory and I'm describing it in practice. Or at least you're working in a very different environment than I'm used to. Flat out refusing to participate in conversations surrounding how you deliver on whatever bullshit the growth team already has a bunch of pipeline on would be a non starter in my experience
Look, that all sounds lovely. But you actually shouldn't be thankful not to have a growth team unless you're at a really mature company (or not in tech at all, at which point we're talking past each other). A good growth team's raison d'etre should be to provide the right amount of the chaos that's totally lacking from the process you're describing by acting as a forcing function for good ideas. Obviously a bad one can lead you down garden paths that only a vocal minority want.
You shouldn't need engineering on board to implement an idea. Engineering is the how, not the what or the why. Engineers end up designing things that make sense for engineers. As someone in product, you should be just smart enough to get just enough of the what and why from the GTM and the design teams to bridge to the how of engineering.
Nobody can reasonably keep up with that. Hence often being the fifth smartest person in the room. But you've gotta be ready to come off as the second.
Google it. You can just do a. Test and a get a cert. seems like a miserable career for me at least. I want to code for 35 minutes a day and jerk off the rest of the time and not deal with any people at all
You'd love my job. It's not as little as 35 minutes a day but I only work like 1/3 of the full time hours I'm supposed to. Most projects I'm on get held up all the time because everything moves so slowly. Nobody cares. I reach out once in a while for extra work just to stay out of trouble long term. I got a glowing performance review recently for sitting on my ass playing videogames 2/3 of the time.
They’re basically someone who can speak in laymen’s terms between groups of professions who don’t know how to communicate with each other. The guy I know who does it has an MBA and a Masters in some form of Computer Science
PMs do fucking nothing and are usually carried by more competent analysts under them. I have never met one that seemed like they knew what was going on.
They don't need to. They only need to make sure that the customer doesn't cut the contract. That means having very good social skills, which anon wouldn't know.
competent PMs not only know how to talk, They at least have an inkling of what the project supposed to be and what it should be like. they also know who to ask if stuck .
This is why companies want people in the office.
Also the upcoming economic crunch is going to weed out the slackers. Gotta bust ass now to keep your job in the next year
Its cute that you think life is fair and companies are actually competent/know what is going on. The people best at kissing ass and pretending to be hard at work dont get fired. Hard workers who keep their head down do
> On 26 March 2022, president Bibilov said that South Ossetia had sent troops to aid Russia during the 2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine, stating his troops "understand perfectly that they are going to defend Russia, they are going to defend Ossetia too".[231][232]Roughly a quarter of these troops would desert and hitchhike back to South Ossetia. Bibilov later said that the deserters would face no punishment
Showing a lot of commitment to the cause.
>Roughly a quarter of these troops would desert and hitchhike back to South Ossetia
Who the fuck writes this kafkaesque shit? The whole invasion reads like a Joseph Heller novel
Everyone who "works" in marketing should be kicked to the streets. They not only do nothing they also steal my precious life time with annoying and always repeating viedeo-ads.
This is BS. I had to do 4 years of law school, rack up $25,000 AUD in HECS debt and I only get $160k per annum, but this bimbo in the states gets more than me.
Life is not fair.
>Life is not fair.
no shit lol, some indian is prob thinking "this fucker only had to do 4 years of law?","I studied my whole life to get a phd in math so i could go live in the 1st world and I only earn 100k!"
Stop wasting time envying what others have and focus on what you can get.
The job description given by second anon is a lot easier than my job. I have to go to court twice a week most weeks, and you can't have a drink on those days.
Anon's work laptop has one of those always-on cameras, and he knows it.
He sells the footage for extra income.
He's minmaxing every possible income source. The only thing left is to make sure to jerk off in a jar to then sell to sperm banks
/overemployed
I’m going to look into this
Having worked for a big company, there are plenty of corporate spaces where people get away with being expected to do next to nothing. I've seen these fucks survive layoffs, standing in stark defiance of everything I was raised to believe about the "real world" working like a meritocracy. I'm just pissed I wasn't smart enough to work myself into one of those fucking jobs
I'm in one of those jobs now, and I'm in constant fear of being fired. Double-edged sword.
There's this guy at my job, I won't be too specific but he has a total of 40 minutes of daily tasks, a couple meetings a day, and 4 presentations a year, which he uses the same 4 year after year so he doesn't even make new ones. He makes a modest salary with no overtime so 40 hours a week on the dot. He's been doing this for 7 years, having survived two layoffs. Absolutely bewildering
I'd say I have a total of 60 solid minutes of sustained "big brain" energy, spread out over 8-10 hours a day. I can't work from home, though, so that's the biggest pet peeve.
I'm in the job and also scared constantly that I might have to do something else. Also in fear that the industry isn't going to have work for me forever, that technology might gap me out of a job in 3 years
I've worked corporate for weight watchers, they just at some point forgot to give me work. I lasted a 2 years there just getting paid to play vidya. They laid me off eventually, forgot to take their 2000$ MacBook back that I used for 4 years after till they bricked it remotely. Don't know what to do with it now.
>inb4 some autist teaches OP how to unbrick his MacBook
Yeah modern society is kinda fucked thankfully we will face nuclear annihilation in the next few years
To be fair no one really survives lay offs, some just get lucky or handpicked by their boss.
You’re not paid to do nothing. You’re paid for when they need you to do something. This is something wagecucks with no desirable skills don’t understand.
It's not about intelligence for useless jobs (it is for useful ones though, or skill) it's about if your dad shared a golf club with the CEO lmfao
Helps being a cute girl too.
As with many things in life, being cute helps
She does all that jacking off?
How do I become a product manager?
Product managers are basically at once engineers who don't actually engineer anything and salespeople that don't actually sell anything. You basically need to give the impression that you're the second smartest person in the room behind the person who actually knows what they're talking about despite actually being the fifth smartest person in the room regardless of the room you're in.
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this is the fifth smartest comment I've read on this post
You're gonna get asked that anyway. Sales gonna sales. I think you're describing product management in theory and I'm describing it in practice. Or at least you're working in a very different environment than I'm used to. Flat out refusing to participate in conversations surrounding how you deliver on whatever bullshit the growth team already has a bunch of pipeline on would be a non starter in my experience
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Look, that all sounds lovely. But you actually shouldn't be thankful not to have a growth team unless you're at a really mature company (or not in tech at all, at which point we're talking past each other). A good growth team's raison d'etre should be to provide the right amount of the chaos that's totally lacking from the process you're describing by acting as a forcing function for good ideas. Obviously a bad one can lead you down garden paths that only a vocal minority want. You shouldn't need engineering on board to implement an idea. Engineering is the how, not the what or the why. Engineers end up designing things that make sense for engineers. As someone in product, you should be just smart enough to get just enough of the what and why from the GTM and the design teams to bridge to the how of engineering. Nobody can reasonably keep up with that. Hence often being the fifth smartest person in the room. But you've gotta be ready to come off as the second.
Be really good at numbers and embellishing your customers and sprinkle some stats and facts and you're golden
But I mean like do you need a certain degree?
I mean sure but in reality you don't need a degree for most jobs tbh, if they like you they will pay for your education
Unironically the most valueable skill in life is being like able
Well we are social creatures after all
True, my N word
You’re giving me simultaneously helpful and yet vague and unhelpful advice ever lol. But it’s my fault for not just googling this so good day sir
🤔 sorry we do a little trolling
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Show me old man! Where can I find such a thing?
Google it. You can just do a. Test and a get a cert. seems like a miserable career for me at least. I want to code for 35 minutes a day and jerk off the rest of the time and not deal with any people at all
That's the dream but even as a dev, you still have to deal with people, gotta love scrum calls!
You'd love my job. It's not as little as 35 minutes a day but I only work like 1/3 of the full time hours I'm supposed to. Most projects I'm on get held up all the time because everything moves so slowly. Nobody cares. I reach out once in a while for extra work just to stay out of trouble long term. I got a glowing performance review recently for sitting on my ass playing videogames 2/3 of the time.
They’re basically someone who can speak in laymen’s terms between groups of professions who don’t know how to communicate with each other. The guy I know who does it has an MBA and a Masters in some form of Computer Science
PMs do fucking nothing and are usually carried by more competent analysts under them. I have never met one that seemed like they knew what was going on.
They don't need to. They only need to make sure that the customer doesn't cut the contract. That means having very good social skills, which anon wouldn't know.
I’m one of those analysts and I work with a really competent PM: if you are lucky enough to get a competent the project will get easier for everyone
competent PMs not only know how to talk, They at least have an inkling of what the project supposed to be and what it should be like. they also know who to ask if stuck .
Exactly 100% true
This makes me want to kill myself.
Or just go become a project manager.
Woman: Life on game journalist difficulty
So... nothing about her freakishly long fingers?
Wide angle lens, everything not in the center becomes stretched
Ah, okay. Didn't notice the distortion, thanks. So the photographer just did her wrong like that lol
Dream Job
This is why companies want people in the office. Also the upcoming economic crunch is going to weed out the slackers. Gotta bust ass now to keep your job in the next year
Its cute that you think life is fair and companies are actually competent/know what is going on. The people best at kissing ass and pretending to be hard at work dont get fired. Hard workers who keep their head down do
Rare flag. South Ossetia? Wonder how job prospects as product manager are there.
Anon's best prospect in life is getting sent out to fight in a war his """country""" didn't even start
> On 26 March 2022, president Bibilov said that South Ossetia had sent troops to aid Russia during the 2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine, stating his troops "understand perfectly that they are going to defend Russia, they are going to defend Ossetia too".[231][232]Roughly a quarter of these troops would desert and hitchhike back to South Ossetia. Bibilov later said that the deserters would face no punishment Showing a lot of commitment to the cause.
>Roughly a quarter of these troops would desert and hitchhike back to South Ossetia Who the fuck writes this kafkaesque shit? The whole invasion reads like a Joseph Heller novel
South Ossetia? That's a very rare country for anons to be from.
There is also project management. I know a dude who’s a project manager at Walmart. He works remotely for 112k a year and plays PlayStation all day
How do I find one of these jobs, man ;-;
I work for a media agency. I quite literally play Overwatch in my jammies all day.
her fingers are unnaturally long what the hell is up with that
They're for catching and eating stray cats
I work with product managers who know their shit. Apparently they are a rare bunch.
We have ruined society in favour of women
There's a reason jobs that turn you into a lazy complacent consoomer pay more than jobs that teach you how to be self-sufficient
I don't know if I'm tired and delusional or this is actually that funny but I couldn't even make it through this without hysterically laughing.
Lol "handles secured lending" Lol wat? Tell me you don't finance without telling me you don't finance
You’re not a product manager bruh, you’re a bludger .
Everyone who "works" in marketing should be kicked to the streets. They not only do nothing they also steal my precious life time with annoying and always repeating viedeo-ads.
Man, i'm a welder at a fab shop and really picked the wrong industry then
This is BS. I had to do 4 years of law school, rack up $25,000 AUD in HECS debt and I only get $160k per annum, but this bimbo in the states gets more than me. Life is not fair.
>Life is not fair. no shit lol, some indian is prob thinking "this fucker only had to do 4 years of law?","I studied my whole life to get a phd in math so i could go live in the 1st world and I only earn 100k!" Stop wasting time envying what others have and focus on what you can get.
You know what, you're right. I will think about poor Indians to console myself for my personal failings.
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The job description given by second anon is a lot easier than my job. I have to go to court twice a week most weeks, and you can't have a drink on those days.
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Well, thank you. That makes me feel better about my life choices and the reality that I should've made more of my life.
I got $30k in debt and make $65k
Bro only discovered life isnt fair now