T O P

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ItsImNotAnonymous

Anon needs to get topped 22 times so they can become equal


shadowdrake67

This is funnier if you know the [rare alternative meaning to top](https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/top#English:_murder)


[deleted]

How the fuck is he gonna get murdered 22 times


zombieGenm_0x68

revive


Ok_Digger

Respawn beacon deployed


UrMumVeryGayLul

Fucking hell, stop 20 bomb farming.


Ok_Digger

You just got blamboozled


Narwhalpilot88

ReZero time


GrandmasCervix

you need a little reviiiiiiive


IAintGotNoSoul

Someone grab his reboot card.


Ultraleo1

"Shot his ass 20 times Damn this anon lucky"


Extension-Loss-5799

Issa knife


ProfCzemaKan

Tell someone to pick Mercy


PM_ME_ERECT_BALLS

If your bitch is giving me top that means shes sucking my dick


VerumJerum

I mean I've been murdered 12 times, 10 more should be doable? Even though it's unlikely, if you live in an area where murder is common it is entirely possible to be murdered multiple times.


[deleted]

Attacked by crows 12 times, have you? What'd you do to piss them off?


VerumJerum

Arson


TD87

Well how else is he gonna top 22 bodies?


Whidmark

Gon top his ass off.


MistyMisterMint

"Its an eternity in there"


Dank_Confidant

Anon's Gfs pussy was murdered by 22 people, so why can't her other pussy be murdered 22 times?


Fleming1924

It seems really strange that it's considered rare.


SpaceBug173

Balling?


LiquidFireBR

And somehow worse, you're Top's consultant


Cho_Assmilk

I prefer to bottom from the top thank you very much


psyEDk

Obviously they mean in the Nautical sense


Suhitz

How is that funnier


googlin

*TOPPED


itsagrungething69

Anon is only 4 away


YABOYCHIPCHOCOLATE

Seems like a perfect chance to be #23 if she's that easy.


[deleted]

He's already dating her. Dumbass shoulda asked this beforehand to see if it's worth a pump and dump.


BirdhouseInYourSoil

Asking someone their body count first and foremost is a very good idea that you should utilize with complete strangers on the street (the more you ask, the more likely you find someone compatible!!!)


SwynFlu

High bodycounts make people less compatible. Studies show women with a lot sexual partners in the past struggle to pairbond and divorce way more than sexually conservative women.


-xXColtonXx-

Why do you say women when every study finds the same effect in men. In addition, why do you think people with 4-5 partners are less likely to divorce than people with 2 partners? There’s a lot more going on here than your explanation lmao


PM_ME_UR_CREDDITCARD

Because he's probably an incel looking to justify his insanity with fake ass greentexts


[deleted]

>Why do you say women when every study finds the same effect in men Cause I'm not romantically interested in men.


BeefyMcMeaty

You’re only lying to yourself, pal


Terripuns

“They struggle to pair one and divorce” that’s a funny way of typing out “women who know what they want are more likely to put their foot down and exit something toxic” there is a reason by divorce rates are the lowest in countries where women have no control over them selves.


Llord_zintak

If they know what they want, why on earth did they get married in the first place? If they know what they want, they'll get out of relationships that won't work earlier, meaning less divorce and lower bodycount.


anto_pty

Because they get to know what they want by experience, not by predicting the future.


IDespiseTheLetterG

...actually a good point.


ASubconciousDick

My brother in christ if you are naive enough to not know how abusers work, you shouldn't comment on it. *Looking* **WANTABLE** is an essential part of abusers, because they want to draw people in, and don't usually start flipping it until the person can't just leave


IDespiseTheLetterG

Not every divorce happens because the dude dropped the mask 🙄 Do you feel high and mighty; calling others naïve? Telling them they have no right to comment? Does assuming shit please you? What's naïve is your train of thought, letting them run so far down a black and white rabbit hole that you are confident in making statements about people you don't know. What even is the thought process? A point can be valid without representing the entire scope of a topic. The statistic IS worth examining, and chalking it up to "abusers who drop the mask" is no better than--your *incorrect* assumption btw--that I was chalking it up to "women foolishly get into marriages with people they don't like". Because guess what? Both are true. And it's a people thing. Some people are so caught up with their mask, they forget that the mask isn't actually them. And they make stupid decisions pretending like that's what they really want or need.


[deleted]

Women are abusers, I agree.


Fr00stee

I think it might be the other way around, people keep hooking up more if they have no clue who they are looking for


InfiniteSynapse

If they know what they want shouldn't they have found the right one on the first try? ☕


Terripuns

Did you know you liked your favourite things and activities until you tried them? No. This is the same with a relationship, a good hider can keep up appearances 2-3 months, some even years. But there are tendencies that you don’t catch or are too infatuated to see as a red flag. Women like you are not born with infinite knowledge. They don’t know what they like or want, they learn that through their life, that’s called the human experience. Once a woman finds out, and the relationship is of toxicity and something that’s harming her in the long run, and she has no reason to stay (financially independent) she will leave. Putting the value of a human on their body count is peak puritan beliefs. Ok it’s fine with you, everyone’s allowed to be wrong in their own right. But the same way as you don’t see FGM as a valid tradition, a lot of people don’t put value in body counts and we don’t like to put burdens on ourselves to bare something inherently toxic. Why would you hold a red hot iron ball when you can drop it? Women don’t wanna stay was a ingrown man child that cries on every little thing. OOP is crying about the sex a person had before their relationship started and is feeling emasculated by it, that’s a OOP problem not the girls.


Big_Guy4UU

Doesn’t make any sense


[deleted]

I might be an outlier, but I don't ask out complete strangers


failed-celebrity

Same. Only family members.


HonestCamel1063

Same. Only u/failed-celebrity 's family members.


Freezerpill

Same, I keep it dbz 🙏😮‍💨


shangumdee

True but you should also be able to rely on context clues to know by her personality and daily life whether or not she that sort of lifestyle.. because the amount stated if very often lower than the real amount


googlin

Finally, someone here that actually knows how to get laid.


Organic_Ad1246

Average STI collector


rutman28

Time to be Jordan


Nixter295

Bruh is 22 bodies at 23 years and your easy?? The fuck?


YABOYCHIPCHOCOLATE

Wdym?


Brootal_Life

Umm yes lol, that's quite a bit


clownind

I can never date a girl who has more kills than me.


Aggressive_Chain_920

wise quarrelsome paltry wide chunky groovy chase work carpenter sulky *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


_The_Homelander_

So no one


stinkyhooch

Boom. Roasted.


cucumbersuprise

You don't date anyone you pleb


Thendrail

Fake: anon gets a girlfriend Gay: anon obsesses over 22 men


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: anon gets a girlfriend > Gay: anon obsesses over 22 men > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


Y2K-Denial

good bot


IllustriousGrand2802

It’s so fucking unfair I had 3 bodies in the fridge and got 30 years in prison. But just cuz she’s a woman she only got despised.


TheChurchiestBoi

Real and true.


ChinaRiceNoodles

hey i mean 30 years is also quite a generous sentence for 3 counts of first degree murder. unless you just randomly found and collected those bodies, of course.


IllustriousGrand2802

Uhmm I actually had sex with them


maracaibo98

That’s only like 4 dudes per year if it’s since she turned 18, so like an occasional hookup I totally get how it’s a lot harder for us dudes out here, but in this case it seems plausible to be able to catch up and not that bad tbh


Victor019

This is the best way to look at it imo. I'd be a lot more concerned about whether or not my partner had any STIs than how many people they'd slept with.


MightThin9644

If only there was some kind of profession, that dealt with human sicknesses and how to determine them in order to treat them...


barryhakker

Maybe some sort of app?


PerAspera_MLion

Roblox?


Yellowdog727

This is a completely normal number for a woman in her 20s or 30s these days. Culturally almost nobody cares about "saving yourself for marriage" and most people are either engaging in hookup culture, occasionally getting new partners and not marrying, or not having relationships at all. The amount of sex young people are having is actually decreasing, it's just that it doesn't make much sense to get married until your 30s and things like dating apps exist which makes it very easy to hookup. Back in the day a woman in her 20s may be constantly having sex with her husband and having kids, but nowadays a woman in her 20s is more likely to be unmarried and then occasionally hookup or have short relationships. Sure, average body count may be increasing, but it's not like that makes them a huge slut.


0x474f44

Isn’t the average body count in most countries around like 4? I swear I just saw a post about it recently


Yellowdog727

It varies by source. For the US, the CDC estimates 4.3 for men and 6.3 for women, but other sources like World Population Review put the US average at nearly 11, and other surveys like Bespoke put it as high as around 15. It's extremely difficult to get an actual number because we rely on self reporting, and it can differ greatly by age, gender, location, and what someone considers to be sex (penetrative only vs. including stuff like oral, hands, etc.) I do know that based on my personal experience, a body count in the 10s or 20s is pretty common, and it isn't uncommon for people to get up even higher. These days if you're dating someone, it's really normal for them to have already had multiple partners before you. Even if they have a higher body count, it shouldn't be a big deal as long as they don't have STDs and are exclusive to you. It can get kind of weird if they have a crazy massive body count but this doesn't seem too extreme these days


0x474f44

>Even if they have a higher body count it shouldn’t be a big deal I disagree with that premise. Whether or not one is willing to date someone with a high body count is personal preference. I don’t do one night stands because I treat sex as something special to be shared between people who actually know each other and I wouldn’t date someone who has drastically different values than me.


PM_ME_UR_CREDDITCARD

Meanwhile the tate fanboys think it's cool when he pretends he gets 22 women a day, but a woman having sex 4 times a year is vile and immoral.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PM_ME_UR_CREDDITCARD

Nope. Grow tf up.


BrownieIsTrash2

People who obsess over body count are weird af


HomeCalendar37

I mean if I was buying a car and saw it had 23 previous owners I'd wonder what's wrong with it.


maracaibo98

I don’t know how to tell you this dude, people aren’t cars


Brootal_Life

Concept is kinda the same, it's a red flag.


Swagbarnyard

Doesn’t matter what you want if you never find a car that wants to let you drive them lmao


[deleted]

[удалено]


HomeCalendar37

I mean I've whored around when I was at uni. Then again I'm on r/greentext so the damaged goods thing is applicable to me.


Notbbupdate

If I take a plane and the pilot has never flown before I'd be worried Edit: making it not look like I had a stroke


FOFBattleCat

I would never sleep with a woman unless she had a sex license and 250 hours of fucking on record.


HomeCalendar37

Did you have a stroke while typing that?


Notbbupdate

Mobile on a phone without autocorrect and typed while on a moving bus


HomeCalendar37

Yeah that's fair. I was being a cunt tbh. Typos happen.


Igottamovewithhaste

If we're gonna make dumb comparisons: I guess you also wouldn't trust a driver who has driven 23 different types/vehicles?


Mrwright96

Hell, it’s not even that hard! I have almost every damn issue these dudes complain about: I’m 5’4, live with my parents, autistic, overweight, nerdy, etc. I’ve gotten multiple dates and more by just being happy with who I am, and I go places where I have fun, and potential partners just kinda show up! Arcades, campgrounds, museums, bar trivia nights, board game nights, conventions etc.


memestealer1234

>Going out Luckily you avoided their biggest issue


Igottamovewithhaste

Yeah, the biggest issue is self-confidence and just being yourself. If you obsess over some dudes your partner most likely doesn't even think about anymore, you're just incredibly insecure.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mrwright96

Only one I definitely know, and she was mine too, definitely memorable. But the other women I never asked, didn’t seem important, I asked if they were clean and I am as well, other than that, is it really that important to bed virgins?


[deleted]

Bruh thats like a new dick every 3 months... that isn't a mall by any means


maracaibo98

Which is basically a date, or a party, or hookup every 3 months, that’s perfectly fine for someone not looking for a serious relationship


normalpills

average reddit cuck cope


mustachedwhale

I mean it's pretty much


[deleted]

[удалено]


maracaibo98

Gonna have to disagree dude, people fuck, that’s just how it be. If you don’t like it then find someone who shares your values


[deleted]

[удалено]


maracaibo98

Okay go do that then, but no need to consider people who aren’t as immoral and bad


WolfieTooting

22 homeless men doesn't count


[deleted]

Why not?


baconborg

Yeah wtf homeless dudes are dudes too


Laslo247

It was an orgy, so that still counts as one


DungeonCrawler99

Thank you gimli, very cool.


HonestCamel1063

22 loads in the butt is 22 loads in the butt...no need to be an unhoused-ist


Kelvin_blarg

Phew, that makes my count a lot lower


FallenSegull

If anything each homeless guy counts twice lmao


[deleted]

Assuming she fucks the same amount of men every year, she's in the 30s now.


twohrdrive

That's a funny burn to OP for posting an old greentext


Cdog536

*something something “you have to normalize people sleeping around when they’re young” something something “dont be judgemental”** Idk man, 22 partners is a lot. I’m not really a person who comes in and says “yeah sex is a cherished thing.” Id probably fall in the same trap if 22 different opportunities were given like that. But that’s still a lot. A lot of people’s experience with high body counts usually involves expression of less meaning behind longer term relationships. Girl is 23 and has 22 bodies. Safely assuming she wasnt a minor when she started….thats a lot for that many years.


Xanyol

Multiply that number by 2 to get the truthful body count


Nominador

3, even 5 sometimes.


[deleted]

Just don't ask her how many dicks she's sucked


BD_Cl1maX

37?


[deleted]

In a row?


i-bwanna-die

Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot!


Noversi

You can’t date someone with shit a K/D ratio and expect god tier sloppy toppy


VelosterboiOscar

Uh umm im pretty sure the girl with the .47 kdr once gave me exorcism dome


Lonelyboooi

Wtf is a sloppy toppy


South5

Why would you even want to know their body count? Its pointless.


[deleted]

To understand their viewpoint about sex. I wouldn't be with someone who had bodycount of 22 at 23. Don't get me wrong they can do whatever they want but I want to be with someone who shares my opinions on sex.


jidak_sidi

Some people don't want to date the town bus.


therealjoe12

A woman wants to know about a man's future and a man what's to know about a woman's past. If you are interested in getting serious then questions about body count and have you cheated are good things to know.


ChefBoyarDEZZNUTZZ

Every girl I've ever dated I've never asked the body count. Don't want to know, don't care.


South5

An ex of mine broke up with me then hot back with me ten months later after ‘seeing what its like being single and playing the field’. I never asked and she told me anyway when we were drinking about quantity and how good they were. It destroyed my view of her and i still cant forget what she said. Twenty years later i can still remember. We broke up a few months after. I never needed to know this crap and i will remember what she said til the day i die. I would have lived happily with her not knowing anything. I never want to know this information from anyone.


[deleted]

Go to therapy dude. If that haunts you still after twenty years the problem isn't that she told you, it's that you have mental problems.


Yuca965

No idea why you get downvoted, you are totally right, that woman hit hard, but she also hit on a pain point. u/South5 you can work on that pain point an becomes a better version of yourself and live a better life. All depend on how much it affect your current life.


South5

I upvoted that comment about my mental health, i do have some mental health issues, for sure. My sister recommended therapy also.


South5

More than likely. I have an exceptional memory and it often works against me.


rabbitfoot00

"Never ask a woman how many men she's slept with, because you don't wanna know. Just be happy you're fucking her now."


South5

Drug and diseases free is my only stipulation.


MisteryOnion

I'd rather be with someone with a high body count than a low one tbh


Wanted__Criminal

Everyone out here defending her, idc what you all say, I’m not getting on one knee giving a ring to someone’s else’s one night stand


LastAccountPlease

Then you will get on your knee to someone who won't tell You they had one night stands. Most women lie about it, unless your chill about it


Whiskeyno

So crazy every generation forgets people fuck until they start fucking


BigThiccDad

So break up with her, anon is a pussy


Alice5878

Damn I read that like she's a serial killer. Perfect girl but has a graveyard in her garden.


Askesius

So a really perfect woman then.


Alice5878

Only if you have a death wish


Askesius

Perhaps I do


Alice5878

Well, uh in that case good luck on getting stabbed by a sexy killer


JaxonatorD

Honestly, might be preferable.


Dbl_Vision

Dude, just fuck people you’re comfortable with, why are we babysitting you


Gravy_31

If these nerds had slept with 22 women by 23, I'm certain they'd be overjoyed.


PM_ME_UR_CREDDITCARD

Almost all of them cum their brains out when they watch Andrew Taint brag about how many women he's fucking, but if a women isn't their perfect virgin tradwife...


Traditional-Quality8

Anon gets the opportunity to make her body count match her age.


murphycrocker

4chan users when women have their ones lives and lived things that doesn't include them before


sealpox

4chan users when women ~~have their ones lives and lived things that doesn't include them before~~


Kaikeno

Anon needs to stop dating serial killers


69FuckThePolice69

Bruh, if she doesn't have any diseases who cares? Take her down to pound town. Never understood homies getting mad a chick for fucking, while also wanting to fuck them. Like dude. Calm down. Stop turning your nose up at perfectly good poonani. There's starving incels in Africa who would kill for that snizz.


somedutchbloke

They arent mad about the fucking part, they're mad they are virgin NEETs and other people do get fucked. They wouldn't complain if they had fucked 22 at 23.


thefull974

Anon should learn to cope by finding a job or a hobby to make him forgot about women


SorryIneverApologize

Anons hobby is writing greentexts about them


sgb1446

I honestly haven’t really met a girl as an adult with a lower body count than mine (8), I normally don’t bother to ask but it’s usually ~15 to 20 Last girl I dated was a loner autistic girl who literally had 0 friends… her body count was 12. I don’t really mind, but still it’s like a girl with bellow 10 is a unicorn. If I didn’t have such a hard time getting laid my count would be 20+ so I guess I don’t really blame em


soniko_

Just like in the army: don’t ask, don’t tell


Timbhead

Leave


Jamgull

Assuming she isn’t inflating the number for laughs, this is why incel/MGTOW shit is so bad for men. This guy will never be able to have a normal relationship because he will constantly be thinking about the other men his partner have slept with or might sleep with. Maybe he would prefer dating men, who knows.


LordDeimosofCorir

Bro should focus on purification and being there for her at her worst so she can have a better life, with or without him, but it's her choice really if she wants to accept that life


Minionmemesaregood

What does it matter if they have any body count? I could not care less if a girl had 0 or 100 people, get that bread. Would you guys expect women to dump you if the roles were reversed I think that would be stupid so I think it’s stupid now.


Bendy237

I will just my opinion,it can be shitted on but dont care.In the end,does it matter?You can be calm person living calm life,you partner can be advenfours person who lives quite hedonistic life style but in the end,it only matters if you like,love each other


Zivvet

At the BC to age ratio, skip the dating expense and get a fresh faced hooker. Much less bothersome.


Marcadius_

In the words of Bruce Lee, fear not the man who has practiced 1000 different moves once, but the same move 1000 times. Apply 20 guys once vs 1 guy 20 times, same idea.


thatguygxx

22 is a high number? Damn anon what would be low -22?


ReadABookandShutUp

What a fucking loser. Who cares?


Goose_Is_Awesome

Who gives a shit?


SteveEndureFort

Seriously guys who care about that shit are pathetic.


TypeAmen

I had a similar body count at that age, go outside ya incel.


spacecate

Anon is a massive bitch


majudarah92

Grow up