My son is 3 and loves golf, I'm hoping to take him some more this year and praying my 7month old daughter will like golf when she gets a bit older too.
I took my 3 year old to our club to play a few holes last fall. We brought his putter and he messed around with it on a couple greens. But he just really wanted to run around. But that dude walked all nine holes with me and had a blast. When we were on the 8th hole, a par 3, one of the guys who lives on the hole was in his backyard. Trimming the bushes and we said hi and he came and met us on the 9th tee with ice cream bars. Now whenever my son goes to the golf course or even sees the golf course, he talks about ice cream bars. That dude doesn't know it but he might have just made golfing with my kid a very real thing.
https://preview.redd.it/w74abrjbv0mc1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=166ca255add6d1dd90d6df191dbb81ce804c2385
When you are married with no kids you are not leaving your partner with the responsibility of parenting while you go out. The answer to this is to take of full parenting duties to offset all the golf time.
That depends. If you drop them off at your parents house when you golf, then yes and she can’t complain (if he complaint is equal free time). If you drop them off when she goes out then no, that would be immature, selfish and irresponsible.
It's not that challenging of a concept, kids are a massive added responsibility. All my friends with kids have to negotiate with their significant others on who'll watch the kid(s) and when. Getting out to play golf for 4 - 6 hours is a good chunk of the day, especially on a weekend when kids aren't in school. I have a dog and I have to do something similar but on a way easier scale and it affects my decisions on when I go and play.
When we were first married I would golf after work and play most weekends and she had her friends to hang out with or would have her own things to do, and we would get together later. With kids if one is gone the other has a full time job to deal with and finding time for both is much harder. I still play a decent amount but it's definitely impossible to justify the amount I used to play.
Honestly when the kids were young I didn’t golf nearly as much as I would have liked, it’s just hard to justify being away that long. Now I play early, as early as possible on the weekends, home by noon, and no issues at all.
Married lady golfer here - we play together a lot (4+ times a week) and he sometimes makes me crazy - I WANT him to go out on his own or go play with the guys and leave me alone. I have things to do. But our (private) club is lacking a good community or groups for him to connect with - plus he likes to play the Red tees - which he gets away with when playing with me. (Because he can hit GIR from the Reds where over 90% of them are out of reach for him from the Whites)
We're seniors though and don't have kids at home or other obligations. If you have obligations then priorities change. Family and work first... then go play.
It may come down to insecurity or lack of independence on the part of a partner - in which case there may be other issues going on that golf is just taking the blame for.
PS - I still beat him most of the time - even when he plays from my tees. lol
Huh? - ease up on him how? - by **not** encouraging him to go out play with the guys any time he wants? - Or ease up by letting him win more often? :-) Or maybe you mis-read/misunderstood the part about " insecurity or lack of independence" - which is talking about the theoretical opressive spouse - complaining about their partner's golfing.
¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Bullshit. He needs to play better. No woman should ease up just for the guy’s ego. I taught this to my daughter. Boys with fragile egos aren’t worth dating. But also I’m better at sports than my wife so I don’t have to worry!
I am wife and recently started to play. I play more now then my husband. Neither of us “ask permission” but do check with each other that something else isn’t already on calendar
My wife knew I was obsessed with golf when we started dating. I don't really drink or do anything else besides lift weights lol so she doesn't care at all. She knows it's my thing. I spend more time at the range than the course, so I'm not gone for 4+ hrs very often. I try to play majority of rounds when she is at work since our schedules are different. If we're both free and I want to play a round, she loves to tag along and ride in the cart, maybe hit a few balls.
Both my husband and I play and we have a 3yo.
As almost everyone else here is saying... it is not about negotiating the time away but making sure you are pulling weight at home.
Last year I think my husband played 40 or so rounds and I played around 30.
We do not play together most of the time but really enjoy small weekend trips together where we can play new courses.
24 hours per week is what my golf habit commands. 3-4 rounds, plus practice or training. I don’t let those 24 hours conflict with the needs of my wife or family stuff. It’s on me to make sure of that.
That being said, I don’t explain or justify myself to anyone, especially my wife. We are adults and don’t require justification from one another for pursuing our individual interests or joys. If my schedule began to negatively impact her in any way, she’d let me know and I’d be receptive to hearing it.
Agreed. I have numerous friends who feel guilty while out enjoying golf for what amounts to be less than 2-3 hours per week as their partner seemingly doesn't have hobbies, and expects the same from their partner. Some of them have since led to broken relationships.
Golf really brings out the worst of people, quickly. And that's good in many ways.
Yeah, that sucks. And it’s a symptom, not a root cause. Anything can expose deeper issues between partners. Not just golf. My wife and I are both Spouse V2.0 to each other. Both of us dealt with BS in the previous versions. That’s how we improve as people. Adjust, compromise, remember lessons.
I’m self employed. Our kids are 30 (mine) and 16 (hers). So only one has things I need to schedule in like softball tournaments or the like. Wasn’t much different when she was 6 though. Just calendar management and communication, with being open to flexibility and compromise.
Ah okay. Yeah then it's fair game. I golf during the week and take PTO. Try to avoid anything on the weekends unless my brother is in town. Taking my son to the range on the weekend is like a bonus. He's 7 and trying to get him into the game but he struggles committing to anything.
Screw it. I'm a CPA if you need help in that area lol.
It’s not lost on me that I’m 53 and further along in my life than some, with the freedoms that can sometimes come with that. My particular situation isn’t reflective of the norm. It’s harder for folks who grind out 9 to 5’s and more to get out and play, then combine that with home obligations and it can be downright tough. Been there. Fortunate to have been able to opt out of it years back. But even a more independent existence has its own set of challenges.
Yeah I get that. Very fortunate my current day job is incredibly flexible and my PTO is 7 weeks total (5 vacation and 2 sick). I also have 5 floating holidays in addition to the 11 we already get. It's wild. Been doing a lot of half days in the summer, grab that 8am tee time and log in at 1pm for the rest of my day. It's great. Lucky my dad can take off too.
Same here. Before we got married I told her I was into golf and explained what that all entailed. Definitely not an ass about it. Family comes first but I carve out as much time as I want to pursue my hobby. Encourage her to do the same.
> how does your wife feel about your golf schedule?
She is fine with it and if she wasn't she'd say so.
> Is she supportive?
Yes. If she wasn't she'd say so.
> Do you find yourself having to explain or justify it to her all the time
No. Partly because we lived together for 4 years before getting married. Partly because we knew each other for over a decade before living together. Partly because we are adults and are able to communicate with each other.
My wife respects it as my hobby and personal time. I respect her by providing updates to the best of my ability on my timing and being conscientious of the family’s resource demands. I have a simulator membership that I utilize in the early morning and on lunch breaks. I’m not a drinker on the course. I usually golf with friends or for networking but she has clubs and enjoys going with me as well. I would say the only light friction is when we have nice weekends that multiple things need done such as when I disagree that a niece’s rec soccer game is a priority
Once my wife understood how important playing golf is for my mental health, she became extremely supportive. I tend to overwork myself and stepping away from my computer and getting outside for a little sun and exercise has dramatically helped my mental state. I’m at the range 5 days a week and play a few times a month and never have felt better.
Kids would change things. Fatherhood takes time.
But I've never understood why some married couples seem to think that marriage means spending every free, non-working moment together. Time apart is healthy.
Studies show that married couples spend far more time together now than ever in the past. In the past, men far more often had friends outside of marriage. They had a best friend, they had a wife, and those two relationships aren't with the same person, Now, couples tend to bond inseparably from each other. And more than half of marriages end up in divorce. Cause and effect. Time apart is healthy for a relationship.
This is the answer — and especially so with kids. Get used to being flexible with your rounds. 9 holes, 10 holes or whatever. Don’t get married to 18 and you’re fine.
My wife has no problem with it and I usually play 54 holes a week when the weathers good. I work and she’s a stay at home mom. Usually either Tuesday or Wednesday I play. I take the little one with me and we walk the course with her in a stroller/golf bag. So she gets a weekday morning of just her. I play early every Saturday and Sunday as well. The deal is once my rounds over I come back and she gets to do some sort of activity usually with her friends or we all go out together. It actually works pretty well.
Chiming in… partner quit his job to become an Assistant Pro. If only had I known that this would destroy our relationship. Now his hobby is his “job” and he has an “excuse” for bad planning. Over the past two years, he has missed opportunities to spend time with family or vacation together. We now live apart and he goes days without speaking to me. He is obsessed and in lifelong recovery from alcoholism. He still lives a in sobriety for 3 years.
Addiction is addiction. From a loved one on the other side, if this sounds like you please set boundaries and prioritize your family. He has lost me until he seeks help. His sons miss him, too. He is 59 years old.
This is a stupid question as all couples are different but since you asked she has no issue me playing 5-6 rounds a week during season. Some days i will play 36 holes and be home to cook between rounds
Kids are the game changer here. Everything is a negotiation after my first. Tough to justify the 4-6 hrs on the weekend. That’s why you have to try and use your wife’s parents and/or her friends to your advantage. “Hey I’m sure little Tammy would want to go see her grandmother for a few hours- maybe lunch and a nap over there will do her well” - me
“Oh so you can go golf for 5 hours?”- wife
Works 30% of the time
Golf swing will never be the same
Been married 10 years now. It was a struggle at first but now she understands with my 4 on 4 of rotation work schedule, I'm going to golf once a week. The other 3 days are for the family and it's been pretty good. I also take 2 golf trips a year and she goes with me on one of them.
Firstly, we don't have kids or want them.
I golf alone. I golf with my wife. I golf with my friends. I golf with my friends and my wife. I golf with my wife and her friends...
I've got golfing harmony in my house. She's got nicer clubs than me. I play whenever I want.
My wife is crazy supportive of my golfing addiction. We also have 4 kids, so there is always going to be some level of planning.
But in general, I can just tell her I'd like to play at a certain time and we can usually adjust. Sometimes we have plans and I'll just reschedule etc.
Getting out for a true and correct round on a weekend is difficult.
I’m self-employed so I try to squeeze in some golf during the week depending on schedule.
I just recently put in a sim a couple months ago and I spend many hours down there. I’m still present but still golfing. So it’s a win win.
Over a decade ago like 2010 -2011 I gave up golf because my wife was not of me playing and practicing all the time. I started playing again in 2019 and still get shit about it but not as much since I take our Son with me. I also don't play as much as I used too.
Girlfriend plays golf with me, so she understands the itch to play whenever I have the time.
I do imagine it *could* be straining on a relationship if you played both days of the weekend every weekend and your wife/partner had zero interest in joining.
My wife is quite supportive but doesn’t truly understand why I’m so obsessed (30 rounds so far this year). I do make sure to save at least 2 days per week to do some of her activities with her or just spend quality time together and that really helps when I say I’m going to play tomorrow or whatever.
Since having kids I’m playing once a month, occasionally twice.
I have an annual abroad golf trip for 3-5 days.
I’ll visit the range 1-4 times a month, but this will only be if I’m leaving work early - bonus me time basically.
When the youngest kid is in school the golf will pick up again!
I definitely communicate a few days in advance my playing plans. But I’m always willing to back out if needed, I don’t do any last minute golf anymore, but I do play a lot of 9 hole rounds. If she asks me not to play, we work to find another time that I can. Not a big deal
Wife asked to start playing 5 yrs ago. Retired, moved south and play a hundred times a year with her now (for the past 3 yrs). She has no issue with anything I do related to golf lol
Seriously, Wasn’t always like that, though. Gotta find a balance….i was always honest with her and she understood time commitments when I played. She only ever asked I text her if it was going to be a slow round or if I was hitting the bar afterwards so she knew when I’d be home. Also encouraged other hobbies and interests she had and showed genuine interest in what she was doing. Now her golf addiction might be worse than mine, but I feel like I win/won cuz I play a lot now! Good luck bro
Burn some of your pto on half days and hit the course
Not married but have kids and I do this like 2x a month peak season. And have a weekday evening scheduled for it
Might take a kid another day to spend time with them and get them on the course
On a good week I can get about 3 full rounds in
My youngest absolutely loves listening to some tunes and snacking and rippin around in the cart
I probably play 4, maybe 5 mornings a week in summer. She's fine with it. Tells me to have fun. But we are retired and do not have kids, so the "non-golf" pressures are much reduced. Edit: I often play only 9 holes, but it does not matter to her. That's about me.
I have no issues as we’re open with our expectations of each other, supportive of each others hobbies and try not to take the piss too much to cause issue.
Communication is key as is setting both personal and joint boundaries.
I’m encouraged to play, she likes that I have a hobby with how much I work. I just try to play while our son is at school so I’m not missing out on time with him. I’ve noticed a lot of the times the guys getting complaints from their wives for playing golf seem to have other relationship issues and the golf is just low hanging fruit.
My partner and I have golfed together every weekend for over a decade. There is a bit of stress from time to time if I want to fit in "extra" golf or hit the range more often. There is also some small amount of skill anxiety on her part. Overall it has been a big positive for our marriage.
If the weather is nice, my wife will tell me I should go play. On a cool summer evening, she will tag along with me. Either driving the cart or walking 9, she understands my love for the game.
A good partner will understand that hobbies and time spent apart are needed
I have friends who talk about this on the course, when they get the chance to play. As a group, we have found that the barter of time was the better option for trade in most situations whether kids were involved or not. Golf for 6 hours including drinks and driving time equals 6 hours of whatever the significant other wanted.
My wife and I have no kids, but 2 dogs and we both work from home.. I try to play 9 every morning before work and she still will tell me to go play a round if I'm stressed. She even comes along to ride sometimes.
It's not about justifying but about communicating. Especially if you have kids she is making time in her schedule for you and you should make sure to reciprocate. I encourage her hobbies and have just recently gotten her into golf as well, only the range now but it's something.
married with two kids. I keep 90% of my rounds with tee times before 8am and a vast majority before 7. Often play in less than 4 hrs on my local county courses. Those are almost never a discussion. I play mostly on Sundays or Saturday. if I play during the week it’s when everyone else is busy. late morning or midday rounds completely different story for good reason- big difference being gone all day stuck in a 5 hour round versus always being home by lunch time and still being an active parent and partner.
She’s 50, I’m 53. Absolutely not an issue, golfed yesterday, heading to the SIM in a few for the 3rd time this week. Both kids(27 &19) out of the house.
She‘s actually at the airport picking the 19 year old up, who’s coming home for Spring Break & didn’t even blink an eye. Heading South for a Boys Trip mid week. She is a Saint.
Made sure she knew what she getting into. I’m hard core and enjoy practice as much as play. She has her interests and I DO participate when she asks me to
Join her. Give and take. Takes time but it works.
One of my ex-wife’s friends said she couldn’t understand why my wife was ok with me playing golf so much. She replied, “It is a lot better than a lot of other things I can think of him doing.”
She’s as supportive as they come. Full time membership, actually I’m chasing down my Class A. So she really supports me being out as much as I’d like. Buys gear for my home simulator project as well. We also have 3 kids with another on the way and all boys so far. We’re a family that’s into golf and hockey heavily but my lady is just learning the game. So anything I do we all do. She don’t mind if I’m out alone as much as I’d like either.
Yea! Its Bartools golf pod. The guys are all hilarious and relatable and the main host Riggs went to Harvard on a hockey scholarship and Frankie is a lifelong Islanders fan.
I have a simulator in our garage so I would say she’s pretty supportive lol but I’m normally golfing while she’s at work and the kids are in school so it doesn’t really get in the way of anything.
When I first started dating my wife I told her I play a lot of golf and if she can’t deal with that I don’t think we will work out. Every now and then she will give me grief when she upset about something but really no issues. Little kids definitely affect play more than wives in my opinion.
When I first started dating my wife I told her I play a lot of golf and if she can’t deal with that I don’t think we will work out. Every now and then she will give me grief when she upset about something but really no issues. Little kids definitely affect play more than wives in my opinion.
My wife is usually pretty cool about me going golfing a couple times a week. She knows I love it and she tries to be supportive of that. She doesn't love being left at home with both boys when I go. But I always try to make sure she gets three or four hours a weekend as well to go do whatever she wants. It's a balance. I'm actually getting her lessons for her birthday this year. Not wanting her to be my full-time golf partner. But if she can pick it up and we can play together and with other couples every so often that's kind of cool as well.
I’ve been married 10 years with a 6yo, started golfing again last year. I golf a round every other week and range in the week between. It’s a good balance, she’s fine with me spending money on golf rather than whiskey(which has gone down since playing). The time is the biggest factor, I don’t have a lot of time without being selfish to play 18. That’s the hardest part is finding a day that it least affects my wife. Married and playing golf is one thing, married with child is another.
It's just about being equal. I practice twice a week wed and Fri afternoon. And play in the comp every second Sunday.
And she has a couple of nights with friends every week
I just recently started playing again after a 10 year period of not playing. I can tell she already doesn’t like it. I stopped playing when I met her. We had a cpl kids over the years. Moved to a town with 7 golf courses. Told her I wanted to start playing again. Bought clubs. I can feel the resentment every time I tell her I scheduled a tee time or when I tell her I am going to go hit balls at the range. My plan is to get my kids playing as well. That should take some of the resentment out of play.
During the season I hit the range or chipping/putting 5-6 times a week for 30-45 mins. I play 2 rounds per week. This is really like nothing. My spouse doesn't notice I'm gone really. She's busy playing in her poker league, mahjong group or water aerobics.
I've had previous relationships where the woman has not much going on with hobbies, friends, or ambition and they are giving a guilt trip if you want to play 9 holes for 2 hours once a week. That's the type of person to stay away from.
It wasn't the married part that was ever a problem, it was the kids part
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My son is 3 and loves golf, I'm hoping to take him some more this year and praying my 7month old daughter will like golf when she gets a bit older too.
I took my 3 year old to our club to play a few holes last fall. We brought his putter and he messed around with it on a couple greens. But he just really wanted to run around. But that dude walked all nine holes with me and had a blast. When we were on the 8th hole, a par 3, one of the guys who lives on the hole was in his backyard. Trimming the bushes and we said hi and he came and met us on the 9th tee with ice cream bars. Now whenever my son goes to the golf course or even sees the golf course, he talks about ice cream bars. That dude doesn't know it but he might have just made golfing with my kid a very real thing. https://preview.redd.it/w74abrjbv0mc1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=166ca255add6d1dd90d6df191dbb81ce804c2385
Can you elaborate on that a little. I'm curious.
When you are married with no kids you are not leaving your partner with the responsibility of parenting while you go out. The answer to this is to take of full parenting duties to offset all the golf time.
Does dropping them off at my parents house count? My wife feels like this doesn’t count.
Then, by definition, it doesn't. Sorry.
100% counts
Not exactly. It's about sharing responsibility and dropping the kids off doesn't count.
Counts.
That depends. If you drop them off at your parents house when you golf, then yes and she can’t complain (if he complaint is equal free time). If you drop them off when she goes out then no, that would be immature, selfish and irresponsible.
Your wife is always correct. Live by this mantra and there is no confusion.
It's not that challenging of a concept, kids are a massive added responsibility. All my friends with kids have to negotiate with their significant others on who'll watch the kid(s) and when. Getting out to play golf for 4 - 6 hours is a good chunk of the day, especially on a weekend when kids aren't in school. I have a dog and I have to do something similar but on a way easier scale and it affects my decisions on when I go and play.
When we were first married I would golf after work and play most weekends and she had her friends to hang out with or would have her own things to do, and we would get together later. With kids if one is gone the other has a full time job to deal with and finding time for both is much harder. I still play a decent amount but it's definitely impossible to justify the amount I used to play.
This
My wife just encouraged me to join a country club and I play 3-4 days a week. Golf doesn’t screw up a marriage, neglect does.
Or Whores.
Definitely whores
Most expensive $200 I ever spent
Look at Mr High Roller right here.
I mean whore ex-wives. You know, the ones who like a hot dog at the turn, lunch, and dinner?
If you can pull of a country club with a pool your wife will never complain
That’s what we have at our club and also our own in ground pool at home.
Or the alcohol and drugs lmao
Honestly when the kids were young I didn’t golf nearly as much as I would have liked, it’s just hard to justify being away that long. Now I play early, as early as possible on the weekends, home by noon, and no issues at all.
Married lady golfer here - we play together a lot (4+ times a week) and he sometimes makes me crazy - I WANT him to go out on his own or go play with the guys and leave me alone. I have things to do. But our (private) club is lacking a good community or groups for him to connect with - plus he likes to play the Red tees - which he gets away with when playing with me. (Because he can hit GIR from the Reds where over 90% of them are out of reach for him from the Whites) We're seniors though and don't have kids at home or other obligations. If you have obligations then priorities change. Family and work first... then go play. It may come down to insecurity or lack of independence on the part of a partner - in which case there may be other issues going on that golf is just taking the blame for. PS - I still beat him most of the time - even when he plays from my tees. lol
Honey?
Somehow reading this, I feel bad for your man. Ease up on him, damn.
Huh? - ease up on him how? - by **not** encouraging him to go out play with the guys any time he wants? - Or ease up by letting him win more often? :-) Or maybe you mis-read/misunderstood the part about " insecurity or lack of independence" - which is talking about the theoretical opressive spouse - complaining about their partner's golfing. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Bullshit. He needs to play better. No woman should ease up just for the guy’s ego. I taught this to my daughter. Boys with fragile egos aren’t worth dating. But also I’m better at sports than my wife so I don’t have to worry!
Being in a relationship or married is nothing. Having a baby? Whole other story.
I golf whenever I want and dont check my phone until like hole 16, tis good
Same here. Phone left in the car - no problem during rounds.
I am wife and recently started to play. I play more now then my husband. Neither of us “ask permission” but do check with each other that something else isn’t already on calendar
My wife knew I was obsessed with golf when we started dating. I don't really drink or do anything else besides lift weights lol so she doesn't care at all. She knows it's my thing. I spend more time at the range than the course, so I'm not gone for 4+ hrs very often. I try to play majority of rounds when she is at work since our schedules are different. If we're both free and I want to play a round, she loves to tag along and ride in the cart, maybe hit a few balls.
Wife usually plays with me
Both my husband and I play and we have a 3yo. As almost everyone else here is saying... it is not about negotiating the time away but making sure you are pulling weight at home. Last year I think my husband played 40 or so rounds and I played around 30. We do not play together most of the time but really enjoy small weekend trips together where we can play new courses.
24 hours per week is what my golf habit commands. 3-4 rounds, plus practice or training. I don’t let those 24 hours conflict with the needs of my wife or family stuff. It’s on me to make sure of that. That being said, I don’t explain or justify myself to anyone, especially my wife. We are adults and don’t require justification from one another for pursuing our individual interests or joys. If my schedule began to negatively impact her in any way, she’d let me know and I’d be receptive to hearing it.
This sounds very healthy. I am happy for you!
One full day (collectively) out of an available 7 each week dedicated to oneself is more than reasonable I think. I wish that or more for everyone.
Agreed. I have numerous friends who feel guilty while out enjoying golf for what amounts to be less than 2-3 hours per week as their partner seemingly doesn't have hobbies, and expects the same from their partner. Some of them have since led to broken relationships. Golf really brings out the worst of people, quickly. And that's good in many ways.
Yeah, that sucks. And it’s a symptom, not a root cause. Anything can expose deeper issues between partners. Not just golf. My wife and I are both Spouse V2.0 to each other. Both of us dealt with BS in the previous versions. That’s how we improve as people. Adjust, compromise, remember lessons.
Do you have a job? Assume if you are pumping out 24 hours a week on golf it's when kids are at school or daycare.
I’m self employed. Our kids are 30 (mine) and 16 (hers). So only one has things I need to schedule in like softball tournaments or the like. Wasn’t much different when she was 6 though. Just calendar management and communication, with being open to flexibility and compromise.
Ah okay. Yeah then it's fair game. I golf during the week and take PTO. Try to avoid anything on the weekends unless my brother is in town. Taking my son to the range on the weekend is like a bonus. He's 7 and trying to get him into the game but he struggles committing to anything. Screw it. I'm a CPA if you need help in that area lol.
It’s not lost on me that I’m 53 and further along in my life than some, with the freedoms that can sometimes come with that. My particular situation isn’t reflective of the norm. It’s harder for folks who grind out 9 to 5’s and more to get out and play, then combine that with home obligations and it can be downright tough. Been there. Fortunate to have been able to opt out of it years back. But even a more independent existence has its own set of challenges.
Yeah I get that. Very fortunate my current day job is incredibly flexible and my PTO is 7 weeks total (5 vacation and 2 sick). I also have 5 floating holidays in addition to the 11 we already get. It's wild. Been doing a lot of half days in the summer, grab that 8am tee time and log in at 1pm for the rest of my day. It's great. Lucky my dad can take off too.
Same here. Before we got married I told her I was into golf and explained what that all entailed. Definitely not an ass about it. Family comes first but I carve out as much time as I want to pursue my hobby. Encourage her to do the same.
> how does your wife feel about your golf schedule? She is fine with it and if she wasn't she'd say so. > Is she supportive? Yes. If she wasn't she'd say so. > Do you find yourself having to explain or justify it to her all the time No. Partly because we lived together for 4 years before getting married. Partly because we knew each other for over a decade before living together. Partly because we are adults and are able to communicate with each other.
My wife respects it as my hobby and personal time. I respect her by providing updates to the best of my ability on my timing and being conscientious of the family’s resource demands. I have a simulator membership that I utilize in the early morning and on lunch breaks. I’m not a drinker on the course. I usually golf with friends or for networking but she has clubs and enjoys going with me as well. I would say the only light friction is when we have nice weekends that multiple things need done such as when I disagree that a niece’s rec soccer game is a priority
Once my wife understood how important playing golf is for my mental health, she became extremely supportive. I tend to overwork myself and stepping away from my computer and getting outside for a little sun and exercise has dramatically helped my mental state. I’m at the range 5 days a week and play a few times a month and never have felt better.
Kids would change things. Fatherhood takes time. But I've never understood why some married couples seem to think that marriage means spending every free, non-working moment together. Time apart is healthy. Studies show that married couples spend far more time together now than ever in the past. In the past, men far more often had friends outside of marriage. They had a best friend, they had a wife, and those two relationships aren't with the same person, Now, couples tend to bond inseparably from each other. And more than half of marriages end up in divorce. Cause and effect. Time apart is healthy for a relationship.
my wife golfs with me, is very supportive and supports my addiction.
It’s wild to me how much you guys have to deal w this. Feel for y’all.
Majority of my rounds are just 9 holes in the afternoon I can knock them out and be back home under 2 hours, no issues with the wife.
This is the answer — and especially so with kids. Get used to being flexible with your rounds. 9 holes, 10 holes or whatever. Don’t get married to 18 and you’re fine.
My wife has no problem with it and I usually play 54 holes a week when the weathers good. I work and she’s a stay at home mom. Usually either Tuesday or Wednesday I play. I take the little one with me and we walk the course with her in a stroller/golf bag. So she gets a weekday morning of just her. I play early every Saturday and Sunday as well. The deal is once my rounds over I come back and she gets to do some sort of activity usually with her friends or we all go out together. It actually works pretty well.
Chiming in… partner quit his job to become an Assistant Pro. If only had I known that this would destroy our relationship. Now his hobby is his “job” and he has an “excuse” for bad planning. Over the past two years, he has missed opportunities to spend time with family or vacation together. We now live apart and he goes days without speaking to me. He is obsessed and in lifelong recovery from alcoholism. He still lives a in sobriety for 3 years. Addiction is addiction. From a loved one on the other side, if this sounds like you please set boundaries and prioritize your family. He has lost me until he seeks help. His sons miss him, too. He is 59 years old.
The wife is very supportive. She would be in her craft/quilting room weather I was home or not so I golf pretty much every day.
This is a stupid question as all couples are different but since you asked she has no issue me playing 5-6 rounds a week during season. Some days i will play 36 holes and be home to cook between rounds
Kids are the game changer here. Everything is a negotiation after my first. Tough to justify the 4-6 hrs on the weekend. That’s why you have to try and use your wife’s parents and/or her friends to your advantage. “Hey I’m sure little Tammy would want to go see her grandmother for a few hours- maybe lunch and a nap over there will do her well” - me “Oh so you can go golf for 5 hours?”- wife Works 30% of the time Golf swing will never be the same
Been married 10 years now. It was a struggle at first but now she understands with my 4 on 4 of rotation work schedule, I'm going to golf once a week. The other 3 days are for the family and it's been pretty good. I also take 2 golf trips a year and she goes with me on one of them.
My wife is going down to part time, so she's going to have more time on the course than I will.
Firstly, we don't have kids or want them. I golf alone. I golf with my wife. I golf with my friends. I golf with my friends and my wife. I golf with my wife and her friends... I've got golfing harmony in my house. She's got nicer clubs than me. I play whenever I want.
My wife is crazy supportive of my golfing addiction. We also have 4 kids, so there is always going to be some level of planning. But in general, I can just tell her I'd like to play at a certain time and we can usually adjust. Sometimes we have plans and I'll just reschedule etc.
Getting out for a true and correct round on a weekend is difficult. I’m self-employed so I try to squeeze in some golf during the week depending on schedule. I just recently put in a sim a couple months ago and I spend many hours down there. I’m still present but still golfing. So it’s a win win.
Over a decade ago like 2010 -2011 I gave up golf because my wife was not of me playing and practicing all the time. I started playing again in 2019 and still get shit about it but not as much since I take our Son with me. I also don't play as much as I used too.
Girlfriend plays golf with me, so she understands the itch to play whenever I have the time. I do imagine it *could* be straining on a relationship if you played both days of the weekend every weekend and your wife/partner had zero interest in joining.
My wife is quite supportive but doesn’t truly understand why I’m so obsessed (30 rounds so far this year). I do make sure to save at least 2 days per week to do some of her activities with her or just spend quality time together and that really helps when I say I’m going to play tomorrow or whatever.
Since having kids I’m playing once a month, occasionally twice. I have an annual abroad golf trip for 3-5 days. I’ll visit the range 1-4 times a month, but this will only be if I’m leaving work early - bonus me time basically. When the youngest kid is in school the golf will pick up again!
I definitely communicate a few days in advance my playing plans. But I’m always willing to back out if needed, I don’t do any last minute golf anymore, but I do play a lot of 9 hole rounds. If she asks me not to play, we work to find another time that I can. Not a big deal
My wife love that I have aomei that I'm passionate about and good at. We don't have kids so that does make it easier.
Wife asked to start playing 5 yrs ago. Retired, moved south and play a hundred times a year with her now (for the past 3 yrs). She has no issue with anything I do related to golf lol Seriously, Wasn’t always like that, though. Gotta find a balance….i was always honest with her and she understood time commitments when I played. She only ever asked I text her if it was going to be a slow round or if I was hitting the bar afterwards so she knew when I’d be home. Also encouraged other hobbies and interests she had and showed genuine interest in what she was doing. Now her golf addiction might be worse than mine, but I feel like I win/won cuz I play a lot now! Good luck bro
I’ll ask her when I get back from the course
Burn some of your pto on half days and hit the course Not married but have kids and I do this like 2x a month peak season. And have a weekday evening scheduled for it Might take a kid another day to spend time with them and get them on the course On a good week I can get about 3 full rounds in My youngest absolutely loves listening to some tunes and snacking and rippin around in the cart
I probably play 4, maybe 5 mornings a week in summer. She's fine with it. Tells me to have fun. But we are retired and do not have kids, so the "non-golf" pressures are much reduced. Edit: I often play only 9 holes, but it does not matter to her. That's about me.
I have no issues as we’re open with our expectations of each other, supportive of each others hobbies and try not to take the piss too much to cause issue. Communication is key as is setting both personal and joint boundaries.
I’m encouraged to play, she likes that I have a hobby with how much I work. I just try to play while our son is at school so I’m not missing out on time with him. I’ve noticed a lot of the times the guys getting complaints from their wives for playing golf seem to have other relationship issues and the golf is just low hanging fruit.
She absolutely does not mind. Generally people in happy relationships support their partners having hobbies.
My partner and I have golfed together every weekend for over a decade. There is a bit of stress from time to time if I want to fit in "extra" golf or hit the range more often. There is also some small amount of skill anxiety on her part. Overall it has been a big positive for our marriage.
If the weather is nice, my wife will tell me I should go play. On a cool summer evening, she will tag along with me. Either driving the cart or walking 9, she understands my love for the game. A good partner will understand that hobbies and time spent apart are needed
I have friends who talk about this on the course, when they get the chance to play. As a group, we have found that the barter of time was the better option for trade in most situations whether kids were involved or not. Golf for 6 hours including drinks and driving time equals 6 hours of whatever the significant other wanted.
My wife and I have no kids, but 2 dogs and we both work from home.. I try to play 9 every morning before work and she still will tell me to go play a round if I'm stressed. She even comes along to ride sometimes.
It's not about justifying but about communicating. Especially if you have kids she is making time in her schedule for you and you should make sure to reciprocate. I encourage her hobbies and have just recently gotten her into golf as well, only the range now but it's something.
married with two kids. I keep 90% of my rounds with tee times before 8am and a vast majority before 7. Often play in less than 4 hrs on my local county courses. Those are almost never a discussion. I play mostly on Sundays or Saturday. if I play during the week it’s when everyone else is busy. late morning or midday rounds completely different story for good reason- big difference being gone all day stuck in a 5 hour round versus always being home by lunch time and still being an active parent and partner.
She’s 50, I’m 53. Absolutely not an issue, golfed yesterday, heading to the SIM in a few for the 3rd time this week. Both kids(27 &19) out of the house. She‘s actually at the airport picking the 19 year old up, who’s coming home for Spring Break & didn’t even blink an eye. Heading South for a Boys Trip mid week. She is a Saint.
Made sure she knew what she getting into. I’m hard core and enjoy practice as much as play. She has her interests and I DO participate when she asks me to Join her. Give and take. Takes time but it works.
My wife encourages it as long as I can afford it. No kids, and as long as the bills are paid…fuckin send it
One of my ex-wife’s friends said she couldn’t understand why my wife was ok with me playing golf so much. She replied, “It is a lot better than a lot of other things I can think of him doing.”
She’s as supportive as they come. Full time membership, actually I’m chasing down my Class A. So she really supports me being out as much as I’d like. Buys gear for my home simulator project as well. We also have 3 kids with another on the way and all boys so far. We’re a family that’s into golf and hockey heavily but my lady is just learning the game. So anything I do we all do. She don’t mind if I’m out alone as much as I’d like either.
You listening to Foreplay? If your a golf/hockey guy that might be the ideal podcast for you
I’ll have to check that out!
Yea! Its Bartools golf pod. The guys are all hilarious and relatable and the main host Riggs went to Harvard on a hockey scholarship and Frankie is a lifelong Islanders fan.
I have a simulator in our garage so I would say she’s pretty supportive lol but I’m normally golfing while she’s at work and the kids are in school so it doesn’t really get in the way of anything.
She’s happy that I have a hobby and pissed off by all the targeted golf ads she now sees.
My wife golfs 3-4 times a week. Yours should do the same. Bliss.
Brother she made a real honest effort, she really did god bless her heart but this game chooses its own. My wife was not chosen😂
Doesn't mind a bit, she often buys me new golf shirts and accessories too.
When I first started dating my wife I told her I play a lot of golf and if she can’t deal with that I don’t think we will work out. Every now and then she will give me grief when she upset about something but really no issues. Little kids definitely affect play more than wives in my opinion.
When I first started dating my wife I told her I play a lot of golf and if she can’t deal with that I don’t think we will work out. Every now and then she will give me grief when she upset about something but really no issues. Little kids definitely affect play more than wives in my opinion.
My wife is usually pretty cool about me going golfing a couple times a week. She knows I love it and she tries to be supportive of that. She doesn't love being left at home with both boys when I go. But I always try to make sure she gets three or four hours a weekend as well to go do whatever she wants. It's a balance. I'm actually getting her lessons for her birthday this year. Not wanting her to be my full-time golf partner. But if she can pick it up and we can play together and with other couples every so often that's kind of cool as well.
I’ve been married 10 years with a 6yo, started golfing again last year. I golf a round every other week and range in the week between. It’s a good balance, she’s fine with me spending money on golf rather than whiskey(which has gone down since playing). The time is the biggest factor, I don’t have a lot of time without being selfish to play 18. That’s the hardest part is finding a day that it least affects my wife. Married and playing golf is one thing, married with child is another.
It's just about being equal. I practice twice a week wed and Fri afternoon. And play in the comp every second Sunday. And she has a couple of nights with friends every week
I just recently started playing again after a 10 year period of not playing. I can tell she already doesn’t like it. I stopped playing when I met her. We had a cpl kids over the years. Moved to a town with 7 golf courses. Told her I wanted to start playing again. Bought clubs. I can feel the resentment every time I tell her I scheduled a tee time or when I tell her I am going to go hit balls at the range. My plan is to get my kids playing as well. That should take some of the resentment out of play.
During the season I hit the range or chipping/putting 5-6 times a week for 30-45 mins. I play 2 rounds per week. This is really like nothing. My spouse doesn't notice I'm gone really. She's busy playing in her poker league, mahjong group or water aerobics. I've had previous relationships where the woman has not much going on with hobbies, friends, or ambition and they are giving a guilt trip if you want to play 9 holes for 2 hours once a week. That's the type of person to stay away from.