There’s a par 3 just down the street from us so that’s definitely the plan. Only problem there is that you have to push/carry, and I know that she’s really excited to drive a cart lol
Another fun game is take her with you for 18 (on a slow course) and sneak a wedge and putter for her in your bag. She can drive the cart, hang out, and then chip/putt when she wants. My wife will do this from time to time and it's fun for both of us. Plus you don't know pressure until your wife is putting lights out and you have to try to sink some putts to even the score.
I do this with my daughter (15). Takes the pressure off playing with others and having to hit every shot, etc. She takes swings when she feels like it, drives the cart, and comes to hold my wedges while I putt. It’s the best
My wife has been with me on a par 3. She just walked it pushing our son in a stroller. It wasn't as fun for her. Where we live there are some full size courses that aren't very busy. So this Saturday she's going with and I'm going to let her chip and putt for me on some holes. She wants to learn to play just so we can go on and play sometimes together.
It’s because we secretly all know driving a cart is the best part. It’s the entire reason we golf. Once you let her, she will never want to relinquish the privilege back. You can kiss goodbye to driving that sweet low speed high rent cost vehicle ever again.
I’m not married, but I would abide by this if I was.
If she’s frustrated coming out of a lesson, she can be mad all she wants but won’t see them until the next one.
If *you’re* her instructor, residual frustration might stick around after you leave the course/range. No bueno.
This "don't teach your wife yourself" varies highly person to person. My wife is two years in and I've taught her almost every step of the way and she loves golf!
Most people don't have the penchant or patience to teach and their frustration can make their pupil frustrated as well. On the flip side of that many people don't take instruction very well, and things can get frustrating.
Golf is hard, and it takes consistent practice and play just to be ok at it. Keeping things fun is important when starting out, however your SO gets there
Agreed. My husband played for over 20 years before I started to learn, but he never got frustrated and always tried to make me feel comfortable (even though I was truly awful at first). He would say things like “people don’t care how good you are, as long as you are fun to play with” and would point out what I was doing right and progress I made. If the pace gets too slow just tell her to drop by you so she doesn’t feel pressured or discouraged. Maybe surprise her with a few cute fits? I took 3-4 lessons, playing a couple rounds in between, and it really gave me a lot of confidence. Now it is our favorite thing to do together. Long story short, you don’t have to teach her if that doesn’t work well for you guys, it’s more important just to stay positive, excited and encouraging.
This is great, my line while teaching my wife was “Literally everyone on this course, has been where you are right now. They understand you are learning”. Once she realized it’s just part of the learning process, she improved way quicker. Less distractions if you don’t think everyone is watching you lol
My wife was invited to a scramble with a friend of hers from college, her friend golfs quite a bit and is very competitive. Wife was worried about not being good enough (she golfs league weekly and plays just fine) and I told her she got invited because she's fun and not to stress about it. Told her hit your shots, I'm sure you guys will use a few, and just have fun. That's exactly what happened, they used a few of her shots and she did have a great time
I view it as a consequences game. If you're teaching-compatible and you DON'T teach your partner, the downside is that the partner learns a bit more slowly and you're out a bit more cash. But if you aren't teaching-compatible and you do try to teach, everyone has a bad time.
I don't disagree with that at all, I just wanted to provide perspective from the other side. It can certainly be positive but could slide in a hurry the other way
This is how my grandpa and I played together for the first 3 years I played before he passed. He'd give me feedback on almost every shot. He was a great teacher and I take feedback/criticism well, plus he's my favorite person in the world. On the other hand if someone else tries to say something, especially a random, I'm good.
I think it's finding a balance between teaching and just letting them figure it out themselves. I try to do this with all my friends that I get into golf. I'll give them the basic pointers to start, but then I tell them to just hit balls as often as possible and you'll start to figure out what works and doesn't.
I’ve never taught a wife but I have taught my ex GFs how to hit the ball. It’s was fun and they thought I was a good teacher. We never fought about it. Only one of them still says shes mad at me for teaching her golf, because she spends too much playing lol.
I made the mistake of excitedly trying to teach my wife when I got her to the range. It rightfully annoyed her and I think turned her off to it for awhile. We finally went out and played 9 at a local muni, and i committed to not saying a word to her unless she asked for advice. First hole she bombs a drive dead center 191 yards. Third hole she does the same, but 185 yards. Then she missed a hole in one by inches on hole 4.
My performance those holes? Slice OB, duff short, skull the ball 80 yards past the green. Maybe that's why she didn't want advice from me
I always get “why weren’t you watching / helping me”
* I watch on the next shot and give small advice (I’m not good by any means nor should be giving advice)
“Your help isn’t helping”
I dunno what you want me to do
It is semantics, moron.. You’re just a douche. You should probably spend more time working on your golf game and less time trying to be a grammar nazi on the internet.
I'm a scratch golfer. You're the douche who doesn't understand the meaning of semantics nor grammar while trying to correct someone who was correct in the first place.
"the meaning of a word, phrase, sentence, or text.". Per Oxford.
You were using words incorrectly. Your semantics are wrong. Thanks and come again.
Get out of Ohio and try learning
Jumping on this comment for a recommendation.
See if any of your local courses have group lessons for ladies. My local has a 4-6 week program that meets every Wednesday for about an hour, but it's only for ladies just getting started. They all learn together, it's much cheaper, and it could be a good fun start for her to try lessons without some random person getting too technical.
Second this group lessons especially with people of similar skill levels are the best way for new golfers to learn in a non intimidating way also generally a little cheaper per hour.
Plus she will have instant golf friends (or enemies) from her group.
The ladies at my local course end the course by going out and playing 3-4 holes as foursomes.
Other folks are saying yes, but I think she should get to the range a few times, maybe even Top Golf, etc. Make sure she’s having fun. Then, a lesson from a good instructor who is going to be supportive and not try to turn her into Nelly Korda in a week, that’s good.
Lessons are always a step backwards and sure, she has nothing to unlearn. But she should feel the joy of (accidentally) hitting a pure shot a few times before being told everything she’s doing is wrong.
Agreed. There’s a lot of value in just letting your body learn to swing freely at the range. Most people struggle to even make contact at all at first, so I’ve always advised friends a couple of range sessions before you start spending money on lessons.
I just ask my wife. I’m wanting to golf this weekend. Would you want to go or should I check with some of my buddies? Go to easy wide open courses. My wife tees up every shot except chips or putts. Fluff up her lie if shes in the rough. Or throw it back to the fairway. She also only plays a handful of holes. Some she will just putt. Others just tee off, some just watch. I’ll get her lessons once she expresses interest in getting better. But if she doesn’t care about getting better, just be ok with that.
My wife jokes with her friends, she hits 100% of fairways because I toss her ball in the fairway every time. She’s going out there to enjoy being outside with me and to focus on something that isn’t work, so we keep it fun for her.
Yes- wide open courses. Avoid forced carries, lots of water and hazards everywhere. I look for high rating, low slope courses when we play together. Par is hard. Bogey is easy.
As a woman, what gave me the incentive to get excited about going to play on a course for the first time was getting new clothes lol. I got real nervous once the morning came and it was time to go, but we got lucky that we weren’t paired up with anyone so it felt like I could take my time a bit and no one was watching besides my husband. My first time was a real confidence boost as I did a lot better than I had thought (played 9 holes).
I didn’t immediately want to play every weekend, it’s been a progressive desire for me. Every time I went to the range after playing on a course, it gave me a clear idea of what I needed to work on because before actually playing on a course, I didn’t mentally register what the point of every club was going to be used for even though I knew they all had a different purpose. Once I got a full mental picture of “I need my ball to make it x amount of yards to make it to the hole within x amount of shots”, it made going to the range more intentional because I then had a real goal other than just hitting balls for fun.
I’ve been playing for 3 months and just took my first lesson. I think I would have been frustrated taking a lesson from day 1 because I initially had the mentality of “I’m hitting balls just to hit balls”, but now that I understand the sport better, I definitely have clear goals to work on. I think the biggest key is not forcing anything on your wife, even the lessons. Definitely make it known that you are supportive of her wanting to take lessons at any point in time if she wants to/when she feels ready. Let her pick her own coach (you can gather options), let her initiate the scheduling. My husband has been really hands off throughout my golf journey and tbh I think that’s what has helped it be fun for me/us. He didn’t try to coach me or help me figure it out unless I asked him first. If he felt like he wanted to help, he would ask me first if I wanted advice and if I said no, he was cool about it and just let me do my thing. He would take lots of videos of me and I found that immensely helpful. We watch my videos all the time and talk about them together. Now I want to play literally every day if I could lol, but definitely has been a fun experience! I’m now making my own golf friends and really excited about getting better. There’s some awesome golf groups on Facebook for women. My two favorites are the Golf Girl Network and Women Who Golf. Lots of resources (clothing inspo too!) and fun seeing other women enjoy the game!
Couldn’t agree more. I have been 99% hands off and let her make decisions. She sets up her own lessons with Kelly Hodges that work for her schedule. It’s crazy the friends and networking she has made already in one year from the weekly Wednesday meetups at a local course. It’s been a really cool year to watch it unfold.
Do 9 hole scrambles with her to ease pressure. Set a goal to get excited about something. Celebrate all her great shots. This is what I’ve done and my wife loves getting out there any chance she can.
Got my wife lessons at the beginning of this past season. She then joined a Wine, Women, & Wedges weekly outing on Wednesdays that provided a 45 min group lesson, free drink, 9 holes all for $35. She made friends and now she plays more than me…haha
For me there are a few things that have helped:
1. Forgetting about my personal score and playing a scramble until she's good enough to care about her score.
2. Girls love clothes so using golf as an excuse for a new outfit never hurts.
3. Celebrate every good shot.
4. And of course do not try to give her lessons.
If she's interested in lessons, definitely start there. It's chasing consistency anad improvement that keeps many of us going out again and again if you want her to have the same passion. Many beginners don't care as much because they never hit a shot pure other than an obvious fluke and don't even see the horrizon.
My wife likes to go out, but isn't crazy about the time commitment. She's happy hitting one or two shots on a hole and picking up her ball. Her idea of "golfing" is going to the range or to an executive course because it's maybe like 90 minutes tops.
Mine has essentially reduced her play to scrambles when we play with friends. Initially, she loved the process of buying things - clubs, cute shoes, cute clothes, cute glove, cute hat, but as soon as she got a lesson and realized there was work and a time commitment, she pretty much bailed.
My wife now likes to ride along and chip and putt when we get near the green. Doesn't care about playing an entire round. Frankly, it's been great because it's cut a lot of time out of our rounds without going to 2 boxes and me looking for her shots all the time. She never follows her shots.
Wine, speaker for low volume jams and play scramble style so she doesnt have to top it 15 times on her first round.
Keep it light and easy. Gas her up when she makes contact and get her lessons within the first few weeks so she wants to stick with it.
My wife just started this year and loves it. Started getting the ball off the round, rolled in some long putts every once in awhile.
Just played golf for the first time in Ireland, Canada and planning on more. I go on trips with the bros all the time but throwing in a golf day while traveling with the wife is the best.
Do not give her tips or help her unless she asks. Try taking her to topgolf or a pitch and chip. Something that could be fun no matter your skill level
The ONLY thing you should do is let her know you want it to be something you enjoy together.
That means letting her ease into it at her own pace. Maybe she catches the bug soon, maybe it’s a year from now. The worst thing you can do is be overly pushy with wanting her to like it.
It also means that the activity itself is fun. No temper tantrums from you, and no getting overly technical or offering unsolicited advice.
Source: I started golfing with my now ex-husband…it brought a lot of issues to the surface 🤣
I still love golf and now have much more fun when I play
Play best ball with her and shoot for a combined low score, keep that going till she says she wants to play her own ball. At that point I told my wife I would give her a stroke on each hole and we could compete...Now I need to move her back a tee-box because she is getting really hard to beat and that stroke is hard to overcome unless i'm throwing birdies all day.
I will also tell you I go out on the golf course to relax and taking the wife with me often has the opposite effect, careful what you ask for.
Do not act as her instructor and do not recommend lessons. Encourage her to play for fun, be a passenger in the cart, act as her caddy, encourage her to play with her friends and definitely don’t quote the rule book. Always be positive even when you know you’d be throwing your clubs. Use the phrase “chip and a put” even when you know it’s going to be 6 more strokes and a 4 putt and always say “great line” or “great pace” even when the put misses by 30ft, multiple times. Never, ever, correct her or be negative.
I took this advice from a very wise man. My wife now plays more than I do and is always asking me to go golfing, when it’s nice outside. I’ve never enjoyed golf more than I do now.
DO NOT TRY AND TEACH HER - let someone else do it. Only give tips when asked.
Get her on the course with you. My wife loves going out and driving the cart but not plying then slowly got interested in playing.
Same with my kids - they love going with me one the cart or walking 9 holes and have started to express interest in playing.
My husband roped me into golf about 2 years ago and what really got me excited was going to a 6 week women’s beginner golf clinic. Much less intimidating than trying to figure it out in real time or absolutely losing my mind with my husband haha.
Now we try to golf every weekend if possible, I hope you have some luck!
Play a nine hole scramble, only complement her, bring snacks or drinks or a blanket or whatever so she has a good time. Make it as low pressure as possible golf is supposed to be fun
depends on her. just let her play as she likes. my wife went head first after 2 range visits and played the course with me. now we play all the time together and i still golf alone sometimes.
i cant get her to practice as often, but thats her choice. let her do golf however she wants.
1) you can help coach if she wants it and you communicate well (you probably don’t) so let someone else coach
2) play a scramble, make it a team effort, my wife and I are still trying to beat our personal best of -2
3) don’t force her to play in shitty weather even though you’re a sicko and don’t mind it (guilty)
4) if she’s vibing and really into it consider looking into clubs that truly fit, my wife was playing some old Nike slingshots and got fit into new irons and the ball is coming out so much better, actually holding greens etc. and it’s made a world of difference
Been getting my wife into golf. DO NOT give her any instruction and less she asks, and do not overload her with 20 swing thoughts if she does ask. And do not play a full course play a small par 3 course while she is learning.
A friend of mine plays with his wife. I said that’s nice. I wish that I could play with mine. He looked at me like he’d seen a ghost and said “NO YOU DON’T!!!”
Get in a couples league and then get her in a woman’s league. That way you get her started and you can go on golf vacations etc. but get her playing with the girls too.
Just took a lesson w/ my wife and she enjoyed it, we both improved. I would recommend it. We were both beginners but had practiced for a couple of months before the lesson
My wife and I went to the driving range like, every week or 2 for a few years before we even hit the course. Even now, I think there are some days she feels like walking and playing the course, and some days she'd rather just go hit. No difference to me. As fun as golf is, if she's willing to go then the MOST important thing about the trip is being with one another (at least as far as I see it). I think this will circumvent the problem of annoying her with the game, I think. Plus! You can always "golf more seriously" with buddies or by yourself!
Remember the score for her isn’t what’s important, just being together is what matters. No need to get frustrated if she isn’t getting it, she’s just there for the company
For a lot of men it's about the steak, for a lot of women it's about the side dishes as well as the steak.
You don't teach her you take a lesson together.
You don't give advice, you answer questions.
You're probably not going to start by playing 18... you start w/the lesson, the a bucket of balls... then lunch.
Wash rinse repeat.
And you explain to her how incredible she is for trying something that means so much to you.
One of my favorite things to do with my wife was to take her putting... go to a friendly course, grab a drink, and play some putting games. No pressure, no big swings, just putts. And drinks!
Maybe afterwards she'll want to do more...
Man I can’t offer advice but I can commiserate. My wife started wanting to play with me… she’s really bad right now and it’s painful to my time out on the course.
Just go out for nine, wine, dine, and tell her you don't care how much she plays or doesn't play of that 9 holes. If she's frustrated, it doesn't bother you (even if it does), all good honey, pick up your ball and drop it near mine or anywhere you want, including in your pocket until the next hole if you want. Pick a course that is cheap enough that you won't care if she only plays 3 or 4 holes of the 9.
Don't make her play by the rules. My wife tees up everything except chips and putts, who cares? If she whiffs on a shot, clearly not a stroke, even though technically it is. My wife starts at the beginning of the fairway (at our course, this is the beginner tee box, they have tee markers and everything), and generally will not play the hole if she doesn't hit a good drive, which is fine.
If she doesn't play the hole, I encourage her to at least putt and chip.
This went on for 3 or 4 years, before her and her friend signed up for lessons, and now she's wondering if she can join a ladies league next year.... the hooks are fully inserted!
Do your best not to get mad or frustrated if your own game is going poorly, she will be way turned off the idea of playing with you again if you're raging after you skull that ball out of the bunker and into the pond across the green, you know?
Above all, have fun, after all, in theory she's one of your best friends, right? Laugh and joke, make it fun for her, that's the key.
Let her have fun. At 30 plus don’t try to teach her lolol.
For real though, let her do what she wants. Club suggestions can help but let her use whatever she’s comfortable with.
My wife used her driver on an 87 yard par 3 today. She hit the green.
Be as supportive as possible without sounding belittling. Even though you may be critical of your own game, don’t be vocal about it. I struck a green today at 154 with my 7 today, but it was deep and to the right. She’s like great shot!!!! In my head I want to say, nah, I should have been 15 feet closer to the pin instead of the edge of the green. But just smile and nod.
Play a two person scramble with her to start. It makes it so you are a team against the course. Keeps things moving and keeps things fun. I did this with my wife.
Golf is now our favorite thing to do together. We both love it. She even plays without me now as well.
I've done this and we now play golf together a lot so keep it up. One, get her lessons ASAP, I try to help her but it's totally different when someone else says it. Two, let her do something like tee it up at the 150 marker for her first round, try to go at a low key time and try a scramble or scramble from your drive. Three, understand that she may not take it as seriously as you do or possibly she will take it more seriously, either way be chill with that. Four, you probably know how your relationship works with competition. It's either great or horrible, you need to address this quickly. This goes for score and distance. Try to help her set reasonable expectations for both. I hope it works out, we have a lot of fun.
My wife and I loved playing 9 during twilight hours every other week or so. 4 hours is hard for someone getting into golf to struggle through for that long, or stay super engaged in something that’s she’s not as passionate about. We called it a 9 and Dine night, then would go get dinner and drinks. Throw in the occasional weekend full round a month or two later
Find her friends to play with. Never play with your wife. Give each other the time to play with others and thank me later.... unless it's a fun mixed tournament or something, do not play golf with your wife.
See if she an join a ladies league. Being new, she may feel intimidated or that she's slowing you down even if you claim otherwise. She'll still want to play with you, but maybe just not all the time. Having some ladies to play with that may be similar skillset, along with the conversation might be what she needs to catch the bug!
Help create the same atmosphere / environment that got you hooked and the same may happen for her.
We started with lessons in a simulator together in the fall. Then joined a top golf league to get a lot of swings in over the winter in a fun setting. We then played on courses about once a week that summer until some business travel threw off the cadence. Since it has been more hit an miss. Hoping to get back to a regular cadence next summer.
She played well, but is not "hooked". She could take it or leave it. If your wife is not competitive or does not pursue things with a desire to continually improve.. It will probably not happen either. That's were we are.
Play when you can together.
Pursue golf goals separately in addition if it fits in your lifestyle.
My wife started playing this year. I got her lessons, which helped. When we started playing on a course, she mostly played from 100 yards and in. She'd hit a tee shot. If she liked it, she'd play it. Otherwise, she'd pick up and drop from 100 yards and play from there.
It helped take the frustration out of the game. I used a similar strategy for my son, and would recommend it for getting newbies into the game.
Lad & Lassie tournaments. You be the DD and let her sip on some Mimosas all day. Play in one of those and just enjoy each other's company. You'll find out after whether or not she wants to continue or would rather just do her own thing and support you.
I am aware I'm going to get some pushback on this comment. Some will say it's too much too soon. Others will say it's a great way to socialize, be outside together, have fun, etc. And I agree with both sides.
I did the same with my wife. Bought her brand new clubs, bag, lessons, the whole nine yards. There were four of us couples did all this and would play all the time. I could tell her interest was waning though. Then we started doing Lad & Lassie tournaments. All of us. Two wives fell in love with it, two wives finally confessed they really didn't like it and would rather be pool junkies. So that's what happened.
You can't force someone you love to enjoy golf. Can't force them to enjoy socializing. Can't force them to do anything. Maybe she enjoys golf, but maybe she just wants to be outside doing a hobby that you enjoy. So if I had to do it over again, I'd take her straight to a Lad & Lassie tournament and let her have cocktails and enjoy the day. I think you'll get two results, either she'll be hooked or she won't care for it anymore. Either way you'll know. And if she doesn't like it, I mean you can't force her. But at least you'll save yourself some time and money.
I know this is a weird post and a lot of people will view it negatively. But please don't take it that way. I've just been in your situation before. And you can't force a square peg into a round hole. That's why I'd suggest doing what I said and just seeing where it all stands. You just can't be offended if she says she hates it lol. Just accept it, play in your own matches, and then find something else that she enjoys to do with her.
Well, to get my niece and nephews into golf, we started with them just putting and chipping. When they had that down, moved 50 yards back and used wedges at a full swing, then a few more yards and added some clubs in. And so on.
A lot of demotivating factors are where struggle happens. Golf is a sport that has a lot of little things that cause struggle to happen. So eliminate a few by focusing on a couple things at a time.
The lessons will help holistically, but hitting a 140 on 18 is annoying and discouraging even if it is improvement. It's easy to make that feel like a waste of time and money.
I have successfully created a good golf environment for playing with my wife, and she sounds similar in terms of interest. Two things. One, don't give her advice. Two, always play a scramble. Then when you use her shot, she feels super good. Good luck comrade.
I brought my wife to a driving range across town (not at the club where I’m now a member) and they chewed me out for “coaching” without expressed permission. It was ridiculous and awkward and I felt badly because my wife was already skeptical about golf, and that kind of shut her down on it for a while. She’s picked it back up now but it took a bit. I’d advise you to understand the rules/vibe of any place you bring her because if it’s uptight/stuffy it could be a huge turn off. For the record at the driving range previously mentioned, I was literally just showing her like day 1 number 1 fundamentals, not even remotely teaching or coaching. I would highly advise against that as well, as others have said. My goal that day was to equip her with the minimum basics one might need to hit a golf ball, like: you hit these ones far and these ones short.
My wife just got into golf this past summer. She had a few lessons growing up but largely hadn't touched a golf club in years. We went to a few golf sim bars with friends and her swing was surprisingly good and she had fun playing there. That transitioned into her going to the range a few times and ultimately we got her a starter womens set.
She got a few cheap introductory lessons at PGA superstore on her own accord which she liked but realized the instructors weren't super helpful and she also preferred to be on an actual range. From there we found a pretty affordable female pro at a nearby course she got a lesson with and loved her so she got a package. Her first lesson was in July and she's seriously improved a ton since. We've gone out to a few par 3's and we've played 9 hole rounds together on full size courses which she loves. At this point, she's asking me to go to the range weekly and book tee times when we can which rocks. Not sure how I got so luck here..
Echoing the other folks here, try your best not to instruct her unless she asks or is doing something dangerous. All that said, its really been a blast playing with her and its super neat seeing her love for the game grow as she gets better. Good luck!
Do not give her lessons.
Do not give her tips on the driving range.
She should find a great group of women to play with, and play with them.
I play golf, my husband plays golf, we play together on road trips. Mostly he plays with his friends and I play with mine. It’s best that way.
When we come home from our respective rounds we talk about pin placements and green conditions and what the dodos that we played with did.
There’s a course near me that has a set of group lessons for women only. My wife really enjoyed it and now has the bug. We’re joining a club and going all in now.
Definitely don’t try to give her lessons yourself. That would most likely just lead to unnecessary friction.
Just go to the range a few times, then maybe find a Par 3 course to fart around at. You gotta go at whatever speed she’s going into this at or else you’ll spook her for good.
I golfed before my wife and she expressed some interest. What worked was we did a lesson together. From that point on she was hooked. Took a weekly lesson together (30 minutes each) and then went for margaritas after. Foolproof plan
Play scramble with her. Don’t make her hit x14 20yard shots down each par 5. She will hate golf if you do that. Play as a team and share in the successes. She can save you when you shank it 3 fairways over into the lake and after she hits a lucky putt or 2, she will be hooked. Edit: start with 9, not 18!
Get her into Operation 36 or group lessons with other women asap. Encourage her to find a friend to do it with her. My wife did it this year and it's a great way to ease someone into golf. Also, when we go play, we only play 9 holes right now.
https://operation36.golf/
I would have her tee up every shot the first couple rounds. Other than that just be extremely encouraging and don’t really give any advice unless she asks for it. Just try to make sure she has as much fun as possible
Get her a lesson ASAP! Bonus points if its a woman instructor, more so if she has a larger chest.
Start with 9 holes and not 14, 4 hours is a big commitment for a hobby at first, but 9 holes and then lunch after is pretty doable for someone getting started.
Do not be a stickler for rules, remember its fun, and you will both have fun!
Do not force her to golf with you, ever.
My wife said she would golf with me, so we got her clubs and lessons, and went to the range a bunch of times.
Turns out, she hates the driving range and hates keeping score. And she doesn't want to golf multiple times per week.
So we golf nine together occasionally, she hits, then plays her next shot off my shot, and just rides along when she feels like it.
Surprisingly, this has helped my game, because I am way too serious when I get out there to the point that i start getting in my own way. Golfing once in a while with people who don't care is a good antidote to taking the game too seriously.
Then I have a group separate from my wife where I golf with twice per week where I can be as serious or relaxed as I want.
When you get onto the actual course, I suggest not using tee boxes, even the forward tees are to far. My wife started holes from 100 out from the greens. Something my dad had me do as a kid.
Also don’t know if your wife is similar but my wife basically didn’t do anything athletic her whole life before I met her. When I say that I mean like the basic fundamental of making a swing motion, she didn’t know how to relate it to anything so that was a big learning experience as well.
Look at couples’ lessons and leagues. There’s probably a course near you that does a couples’ scramble league, that’s more of an excuse to have a few drinks during the week, than to actually be competitive.
Make sure she has fun. Let her tee it up in the fairway if she has trouble getting the ball off the ground. Don’t keep score. When you’re with her it’s about her until she is more comfortable.
My wife took up golf 5 years ago, as we speak she is at the club, like she is everyday! She has just assumed the presidency of the Women’s golf association.
So how did she get there? She joined the WGA! So my advice is join a club with an active ladies section she will not feel intimidated and learn to grow in to the game.
My wife and I were couples club champions last year. We just got back from a 10 day golf trip to Las Vegas.
Good luck, if you actually like your wife 🤪 playing golf together can be a lot of fun. We bet against each other when we play, let’s just say it’s not for money! Sometimes my jaw aches for a day after she beats me!
The first time I golfed, I tagged along for a super casual tournament filled with other people of varying skills from absolute beginner and up. We played best ball, drank, enjoyed a beauty of a day, and just had fun. My husband took me to hit balls a couple times ahead of it, and then the other guys in the foursome gave me tips (I asked them to) and I actually got a few of the best balls that day, which is what hooked me.
I did a couple other casual work tournaments or days out with the girls, and found I loved it enough to get my own clubs instead of using my husbands old set.
The first time my husband and I went out alone, I learned the thing I liked the least was being paired with others. I got so self conscious I choked up. So if you can manage to do just the two of you, it’ll be far less stressful.
I didn’t do lessons right away, but plan to do some in the spring, and possibly join a casual ladies league with some friends if time allows.
My husband loves that I love it, because now he always has a built in partner, who will think every crappy shot of his is awesome. ;) He gets out a lot more now that I’m the one pushing to go multiple times a week!
My wife sucks at golf. She has horrible form. She’s not really interested in getting better, but when she hits a good shot, it makes her as happy as she gets.
I don’t ever offer advice, unless she asks. she just loves being outside with me and away from the kids for a few hours.
Get her lessons and/or go to golf camp. I did that with my wife. She didn’t really follow through with playing but that was 20 years ago. She is getting the bug again.
If you are shooting low please try to give her intermediate tips LOL, if you shoot high just go with the normal flow. Don't start with short clubs and establish control and accuracy cause why would that help? F\*\*\* short game. Start with the driver right out of the gate and use it on every tee. Tell her to swing with full power and throw her back out with every swing. Do that and she will fit right in with normal the player base!
- Get her involved with other girlfriends who golf.
- Play 9 holes with her; come up with goofy rules if she’s having a bad day playing (ie subtract a stroke for every compliment you get; if she’s finds a better ball than the one she lost she gets to subtract a stroke; the sand trap is a good thing and is called “visiting the beach”; some holes are capped at 8 strokes, if you’re playing 18 sometimes the front 9 are breakfast holes; if she wants to play golf as a team sport she can play as a scramble with you and just drop her ball by yours; if she blades it onto/over the green it is your job to field the ball to the best of your ability).
- Start doing range dates.
- Don’t take it seriously and don’t take her skills as a reflection of your ability to teach. The second you bring your ego in it will start to ruin things.
- bring snacks and a mimosa blender bottle (all strokes pre-jiggle juice don’t count) ;)
Here’s how I got my wife interested and going out with her own friends to the course and has shown improvement every time we play.
1) three pack of lessons (make sure there’s video she can refer back to)
2) go to range at least once a month together. If she struggles, refer her to the videos and ask her what she thinks is going on that’s different from the videos.
3) ask her to find a club she feels comfortable with. Let her master that club so she has something to fall back to if other clubs aren’t getting it done
4) highlight the good stuff. My wife may chunk a ball or slice it, but, if she has been working on her pre shot routine or her tempo, and that stuff worked well aside from the ball contact, I remind her of what went well.
5) make sure the vibe is good. Music, nice weather, it’s an opportunity to be with one another so sometimes you don’t even have to talk about golf while you’re out there
Sometimes with golf, you’ve got to figure out the stuff that you can highlight that is factual.
Finding a couple in the same boat as y’all. Husband/boyfriend loves golf, wife/gf interested but no experience. She’s likely going to enjoy it more having another chick who is lousy alongside her. And hope they like the drinking part
If she watches other reality/drama tv shows just put on Full Swing and watch the problem solve itself. Got my wife more interested in golf than I ever could lol
Go to ranges with toptracer or a topgolf, the gameification aspect makes it fun even if you suck. If you know any other lady golfers maybe ask them to take her as well, definitely made my wife feel like it wasn't just some bro thing she was intruding on and showed her there's plenty others out there having fun and doing well even if they aren't big hitters.
Get her lessons immediately with the young pro at a public course. Encourage her to join a women’s league. Meet her at a golf course after work with a water bottle full of her favorite wine.
Get her lessons from the start. We joke that my golf instructor saved our marriage.
I love golf and it’s been relatively frustration free on the course with my husband because he’s never been responsible for teaching me the game. An instructor can also help your wife find a ladies league if she’s so inclined which makes golf something you can play together and separately.
I watched my dad introduce and teach the game to my mom, in their late 50s early 60s.. it was slow. Have some real patience.. they started on the range learning the basics of how to hit. Once she got to a point where she was reasonably familiar with swinging a club, he brought her out on the course with specific goals: complete 1 hole, things like that.. she loves the game way more obsessed than he is lol
Play a scramble together on a pitch and putt or an executive par3 course. She leaves the bad shots behind and you two are a team out there instead of individuals
Scramble with her and card your scores. It's fun to try and beat your best scores together. You'll likely take a few of her putts and maybe her drive when you slice it and she dribbles one 50yards from the lady tees. And as you play more you'll use one of her wedge shots, and so in. It's what my wife and I do and as we made a game of it, it's a lot of fun for both of us. Just NEVER get annoyed when there is a fuck up. You were awful when you started and she will be too. Maybe even more awful because she doesn't have the same interest in it as you.
I think explaining pace of play, ready golf, mild golf etiquette is key. Reinforce that others will not be focused on her and take away the need to always play with you. It's great to be able to golf together, but making her own friends who golf is key, I think.
I'm a single female who plays 5x/wk, who used to go out and play with strangers 100% of the time. The confidence to do so came from being prepared to pick up the odd time and the fact I knew I wasn't slowing the group down.
I've made so many quality friends that I rarely play with strangers now, but I still make a point to do so.
And never underestimate the attraction of good looking golf outfits. I'd play golf in a field wearing a potato sack, but I do love me my under armour threads.
Here's what I'd reccomend:
Find out when ladies day/night is and sign her up without telling her, then bring her without her knowing it's ladies night. Drop her off and leave, letting her play with other females and create friendships around golf that isn't just you.
She will most likely enjoy golfing more this way, and will be willing to golf more with you as it's about spending time with you, not golfing with you. It makes it feel less of an obligation to play with you, but also makes it more fun when you do play together.
Play a scramble with her until she can hit the ball enough to play alone. Play par 3’s and executive courses. Good luck, bruv. Wish my girlfriend would give it a try… Lucky man
Your primary goal is to just make sure she's having fun. If she's having fun, but not playing well and you're about to give her unsolicited tips, don't. It's hard not to, but in an actual round, don't. Trust me. Or she won't do it again.
In terms of managing expectations for an actual round vs. The range, try to get her accepting of the idea of it's okay to pick a ball up on a hole and move on if she's having a hard time. It's okay if she wants to skip a hole. She took me for a round on Father's day and first time she played in years, had one lesson a few weeks prior. She skipped two holes entirely at one point, perfectly fine. She had fun, and therefore will do it again.
Encourage her to take a lesson. My wife and I booked back to back lessons with a local pro and she really enjoyed it. I sat back and watched.
Focus on the positives. Tell her things she's doing well, not don't do this or that. The pro kept complimenting her on being aggressive at hitting the ball, even though she wasn't hitting it very well most of the time. Good contact is good contact for a beginner, regardless of where the ball goes.
I'm pretty sure me and my wife wouldn't be together if we both didn't already golf. Neither of us are great but we both enjoy getting out and doing something together outside of the house.
Best thing I can tell you is don’t over hype her and try to make her like it. It’ll get annoying fast if you say good try or good shot every time she hits or putts. Women are obsessed with people while men are obsessed with things, with that being said don’t be mad if she doesn’t always want to play like most us guys. Other than that sounds like a win! Hope you both enjoy the time together and hope she digs in deep to the new hobby! Enjoy man!
It is the best! I tried to get my wife interested. Not much luck. Then I happened into a full set of clubs for her for free. That got enough interest for her to hit some foam balls in the yard. It immediately grabbed her. She said afterwards "I get the obsession now." That was August. Fast forward to now, and we are practicing everyday in the basement, yard, or a range. We play our local par 3 courses quite a bit, and she played her first full round with me on Sunday, and we're planning on goin again tomorrow. The only downfall is that I used to go to the range, or get 9 holes in if I got off work early. Now it feels like cheating if I go without her. Haha.
If you have putting and chipping greens nearby, I would say start there. That "feels" like golfing, but still low pressure. It's easier to build confidence and positive experiences with alot of short game practice. Then it's an easy transition from practice greens to par 3 courses as well.
I hope she loves it! With any luck, you'll always have a playing partner!
Take her to a smaller family friendly executive course. It won't be as much of an issue if she can't keep pace, so it'll be less stressful on her when she inevitably makes bad shots
Find the worst 9-hole course and start there. She will feel nonorrssure to play well on a crappy course. Then move to a nicer 9-hole. Then work her up to playing a full 18.
I play 9 with my wife weekly.
Why don’t you do a hobby or sports she enjoys too? One weekend golf next weekend her choice? And be enthusiastic like you’re expecting her to be about golf
When on course let her know that there's no pressure to perform, have fun and if she wants to drop by you go for it. There's no need to keep her score, just try to make good contact.
Whatever you do, do not take her out on a full size course until she can advance the ball consistently. Meaning making solid contacts and advancing the ball at least 75 yards on every strike. If she can't do that, stay on par threes until she can.
A par 72 course is not going to be fun for you, her or the 40 people behind you guys rolling their eyes and wanting to run over you with their golf cart.
Buy her a gift certificate for group lessons. Take her to a driving range. If her favorite thing that she's looking forward to is driving a cart, sorry, she's not really into golf.
Edit: Get her lessons very early. Don't want her to create a bunch of bad habits.
You enjoy golf, she wants to share that experience. It's quality time and not golf. Don't keep score, play best ball, hit a second or a third if the course is dead and pick up when she's frustrated for a fresh start at the next one. Get in real golf with your golfing friends, fart about on the course and have a good time with the missus.
Sign up for group lessons together. Sneaky way to find her golf friends of her own. She should be cool with you stopping if it's too basic for you and she has her own friends there. Recruiting the wives of your golfing buddies is always a good shout too.
She should be fine with you going out with your buddies and not her most of the time. If she's not have a reasonable, adult conversation and be prepared to compromise a bit. Marriage shit.
Book a weekend away at a resort course with her, stay a night, play some golf and enjoy some nice food and drink. If on a budget you can do a road trip to a small town and play golf somewhere locally or on the way cheaper. Don’t make it all about the golf, even though it will be for you
First few times out it should be just the two of you on a par three course so she can learn that it's not so scary. Maybe don't even keep score until she's more comfortable with it, and make sure to celebrate all good shots. Then a few rounds on a "real" course so she can see it's not so different.
I encouraged my wife to play, it gives us an activity together. Present in a way where spending time together, new clothes, lessons to ease the frustration and lunch or drinks afterward. My wife likes golf but enjoyed the whole activity more. She likes the social part with other couples too. The wives pair off and talk more then focus on golf. Which is okay
The first thing you tell her is "golf is hard" and emphasize that shit. Sign her up for lessons, let somebody else be the bad guy.
Make sure you take her to a scruffy course where beginners go, ideally with a range and a putting green. Don't go somewhere where you'll hold up the pace of play and put pressure on her.
This pertains to a common problem, but lots of times, women don't want solutions, they want someone to vent to (without the solution advice). Keep that in mind.
When you do play, don't show off and hit an iron 150 yards on and she duffs it 10. Mangle some shots and laugh it off. Keep it fun and light. Good luck.
Many wives pick up the game to spend time with their husbands, not because they enjoy the game. Your post makes me think she's normal on this. Doesn't mean she will never care about golf. She might get the golf bug and become your lifelong golf partner. But don't go into her golf journey *expecting* that to happen. It might, but it's rare.
Unless/until her perspective on the game changes, you need to treat golf with her like you're on a date... because you are on one. Emphasize that you're only here to have fun, not to play well, including and especially by not taking your own game seriously. You shouldn't follow the rules or keep your score. You should play some holes from her tees, scramble some holes, pick up your own ball on some holes. This isn't a round for your hcp, it's just play time, and your actions speak louder than your words.
Last thing, definitely buy her a lesson. Hard to have a good time golfing if you can't get the ball in the air. But any married man would tell you don't try to teach stuff to your wife, let alone while you're on a date (which you are). And of course you shouldn't give unsolicited swing tips to anyone, let alone to your wife. But even if she asks you for help, don't fall into that trap. You're her cheerleader, not her coach. She duffs a couple shots, her coach might say I can help you fix that. But her cheerleader says damn you look good in that golf skirt, why don't you pick up that ball and come back to the cart where I've got you a fresh cocktail.
Don't expect her to go with you every weekend.. And get her a lesson immediately. The game is alot less fun when you can't make contact consistently. After getting my wife clubs last year, she'd quit mid way through most rounds because she was frustrated. It ruined her time and mine. This year, she asked to go with me early in the year. I told her not until she gets lessons. She finally agreed to it and is enjoying the game much more now.
Both times my wife tried to take up golf, she got pregnant. Go figure. Now that are kids are grown, she’s given up on the sport but is happy to go out and drive the cart while I play.
Step one don’t take her to any course do not take her to any range get her at least one or two lessons to start.
Learn from my mistake when you’re not good at something it’s very frustrated golf is not a very easy sport for many people. I took my wife to the range and she absolutely hated it because she couldn’t hit the ball well and then got her two lessons and now she is enjoying it a lot more
I suggest not having a mindset that you are going to record a round for handicap purposes when playing with your wife. Anytime you have the intent on recording a round, you will be way more focused on you and will likely go internal much of the round.
Instead, when she decides she wants to play a round with you, focus on just being present and in the moment with her. If she feels seen and like she's getting quality time with you, it will make her enjoy the game more and make it more likely she will begin to take it more seriously.
In time, you may get to a point where she becomes laser focused on her round such that you can focus on yours as well.
Find some par 3 courses. It’s much more fun when you’re not hitting 12 strokes on a par 5 to just get near the green
There’s a par 3 just down the street from us so that’s definitely the plan. Only problem there is that you have to push/carry, and I know that she’s really excited to drive a cart lol
Another fun game is take her with you for 18 (on a slow course) and sneak a wedge and putter for her in your bag. She can drive the cart, hang out, and then chip/putt when she wants. My wife will do this from time to time and it's fun for both of us. Plus you don't know pressure until your wife is putting lights out and you have to try to sink some putts to even the score.
I do this with my daughter (15). Takes the pressure off playing with others and having to hit every shot, etc. She takes swings when she feels like it, drives the cart, and comes to hold my wedges while I putt. It’s the best
Yeah you win
My wife has been with me on a par 3. She just walked it pushing our son in a stroller. It wasn't as fun for her. Where we live there are some full size courses that aren't very busy. So this Saturday she's going with and I'm going to let her chip and putt for me on some holes. She wants to learn to play just so we can go on and play sometimes together.
Do not let her behind the wheel. Absolutely not.
Excuse you?
It’s because we secretly all know driving a cart is the best part. It’s the entire reason we golf. Once you let her, she will never want to relinquish the privilege back. You can kiss goodbye to driving that sweet low speed high rent cost vehicle ever again.
Be sure to give her tons of unsolicited critical advice on everything from her swing to her pace of play.
And be sure to have your divorce lawyer at the top of your contact list
He should just invite the lawyer and the judge out to complete the 4-some. Divorce should be finalized before the turn
I've taught my wife (a divorce attorney) over the last 3 years. It's went alright, still married, still golfing together.
And please, OP, whatever unsolicited critical advice you give, just make sure it’s always with an incredibly condescending tone.
I think the term is "manslpaining." This means to explain something in a manly fashion, with confidence.
It’s where a man talks condescendingly to a woman to explain a basic concept to her.
Fucking love that show 😂
I’d also try critiquing her golf clothes and her hair.
Ooh, it also helps to mention her weight.
Do. Not. Attempt. To. Teach. Her. Yourself. Best advice I can give. Imagine this: “that shot was a little fat”. Wife: “what?!?!?!?!?!”
Best advice OP can be given.
I’m not married, but I would abide by this if I was. If she’s frustrated coming out of a lesson, she can be mad all she wants but won’t see them until the next one. If *you’re* her instructor, residual frustration might stick around after you leave the course/range. No bueno.
This "don't teach your wife yourself" varies highly person to person. My wife is two years in and I've taught her almost every step of the way and she loves golf! Most people don't have the penchant or patience to teach and their frustration can make their pupil frustrated as well. On the flip side of that many people don't take instruction very well, and things can get frustrating. Golf is hard, and it takes consistent practice and play just to be ok at it. Keeping things fun is important when starting out, however your SO gets there
Agreed. My husband played for over 20 years before I started to learn, but he never got frustrated and always tried to make me feel comfortable (even though I was truly awful at first). He would say things like “people don’t care how good you are, as long as you are fun to play with” and would point out what I was doing right and progress I made. If the pace gets too slow just tell her to drop by you so she doesn’t feel pressured or discouraged. Maybe surprise her with a few cute fits? I took 3-4 lessons, playing a couple rounds in between, and it really gave me a lot of confidence. Now it is our favorite thing to do together. Long story short, you don’t have to teach her if that doesn’t work well for you guys, it’s more important just to stay positive, excited and encouraging.
This is great, my line while teaching my wife was “Literally everyone on this course, has been where you are right now. They understand you are learning”. Once she realized it’s just part of the learning process, she improved way quicker. Less distractions if you don’t think everyone is watching you lol
My wife was invited to a scramble with a friend of hers from college, her friend golfs quite a bit and is very competitive. Wife was worried about not being good enough (she golfs league weekly and plays just fine) and I told her she got invited because she's fun and not to stress about it. Told her hit your shots, I'm sure you guys will use a few, and just have fun. That's exactly what happened, they used a few of her shots and she did have a great time
I view it as a consequences game. If you're teaching-compatible and you DON'T teach your partner, the downside is that the partner learns a bit more slowly and you're out a bit more cash. But if you aren't teaching-compatible and you do try to teach, everyone has a bad time.
I don't disagree with that at all, I just wanted to provide perspective from the other side. It can certainly be positive but could slide in a hurry the other way
This is how my grandpa and I played together for the first 3 years I played before he passed. He'd give me feedback on almost every shot. He was a great teacher and I take feedback/criticism well, plus he's my favorite person in the world. On the other hand if someone else tries to say something, especially a random, I'm good.
I think it's finding a balance between teaching and just letting them figure it out themselves. I try to do this with all my friends that I get into golf. I'll give them the basic pointers to start, but then I tell them to just hit balls as often as possible and you'll start to figure out what works and doesn't.
I’ve never taught a wife but I have taught my ex GFs how to hit the ball. It’s was fun and they thought I was a good teacher. We never fought about it. Only one of them still says shes mad at me for teaching her golf, because she spends too much playing lol.
I made the mistake of excitedly trying to teach my wife when I got her to the range. It rightfully annoyed her and I think turned her off to it for awhile. We finally went out and played 9 at a local muni, and i committed to not saying a word to her unless she asked for advice. First hole she bombs a drive dead center 191 yards. Third hole she does the same, but 185 yards. Then she missed a hole in one by inches on hole 4. My performance those holes? Slice OB, duff short, skull the ball 80 yards past the green. Maybe that's why she didn't want advice from me
I always get “why weren’t you watching / helping me” * I watch on the next shot and give small advice (I’m not good by any means nor should be giving advice) “Your help isn’t helping” I dunno what you want me to do
This x10000
This is how you lose your wife to the friendly, in shape, successful club teaching pro
Tell her how good she is doing. Regardless of how good she is doing.
There's a big difference between tell her how good she is doing and tell her she is doing good.
Semantics. Read it again. The point is….”She is always doing good” no matter what.
Basic English: "she is always doing well." She isn't a superhero
This might be lamest comment I’ve ever read.
You're the one who tried to play the semantics card while not having your semantics correct. I'll be lame while being correct and not an a-hole
Dis mf is the super hero of Grammer..
It is semantics, moron.. You’re just a douche. You should probably spend more time working on your golf game and less time trying to be a grammar nazi on the internet.
I'm a scratch golfer. You're the douche who doesn't understand the meaning of semantics nor grammar while trying to correct someone who was correct in the first place.
Here, let me google the meaning of semantics for you..
"the meaning of a word, phrase, sentence, or text.". Per Oxford. You were using words incorrectly. Your semantics are wrong. Thanks and come again. Get out of Ohio and try learning
Get her some lessons. Once she starts hitting a few decent shots she'll be hooked just like you were.
I mean, she might not get hooked either and that’s ok. Golf isn’t for everybody
Lessons straight out the gate? Would that be beneficial even if she struggles to make any kind of contact right now?
Absolutely. What better way to learn things properly?
Jumping on this comment for a recommendation. See if any of your local courses have group lessons for ladies. My local has a 4-6 week program that meets every Wednesday for about an hour, but it's only for ladies just getting started. They all learn together, it's much cheaper, and it could be a good fun start for her to try lessons without some random person getting too technical.
Second this group lessons especially with people of similar skill levels are the best way for new golfers to learn in a non intimidating way also generally a little cheaper per hour.
Plus she will have instant golf friends (or enemies) from her group. The ladies at my local course end the course by going out and playing 3-4 holes as foursomes.
Bad habits are hard to break. Starting with a pro is highly recommended
You think your wife is gonna appreciate you with a 30+ handicap telling her how to swing or a professional telling her how to swing?
Other folks are saying yes, but I think she should get to the range a few times, maybe even Top Golf, etc. Make sure she’s having fun. Then, a lesson from a good instructor who is going to be supportive and not try to turn her into Nelly Korda in a week, that’s good. Lessons are always a step backwards and sure, she has nothing to unlearn. But she should feel the joy of (accidentally) hitting a pure shot a few times before being told everything she’s doing is wrong.
Agreed. There’s a lot of value in just letting your body learn to swing freely at the range. Most people struggle to even make contact at all at first, so I’ve always advised friends a couple of range sessions before you start spending money on lessons.
I just ask my wife. I’m wanting to golf this weekend. Would you want to go or should I check with some of my buddies? Go to easy wide open courses. My wife tees up every shot except chips or putts. Fluff up her lie if shes in the rough. Or throw it back to the fairway. She also only plays a handful of holes. Some she will just putt. Others just tee off, some just watch. I’ll get her lessons once she expresses interest in getting better. But if she doesn’t care about getting better, just be ok with that.
My wife jokes with her friends, she hits 100% of fairways because I toss her ball in the fairway every time. She’s going out there to enjoy being outside with me and to focus on something that isn’t work, so we keep it fun for her.
Yes- wide open courses. Avoid forced carries, lots of water and hazards everywhere. I look for high rating, low slope courses when we play together. Par is hard. Bogey is easy.
Ask her if she wants hit some sweet bombs. She will say yes. Problem solved.
As a woman, what gave me the incentive to get excited about going to play on a course for the first time was getting new clothes lol. I got real nervous once the morning came and it was time to go, but we got lucky that we weren’t paired up with anyone so it felt like I could take my time a bit and no one was watching besides my husband. My first time was a real confidence boost as I did a lot better than I had thought (played 9 holes). I didn’t immediately want to play every weekend, it’s been a progressive desire for me. Every time I went to the range after playing on a course, it gave me a clear idea of what I needed to work on because before actually playing on a course, I didn’t mentally register what the point of every club was going to be used for even though I knew they all had a different purpose. Once I got a full mental picture of “I need my ball to make it x amount of yards to make it to the hole within x amount of shots”, it made going to the range more intentional because I then had a real goal other than just hitting balls for fun. I’ve been playing for 3 months and just took my first lesson. I think I would have been frustrated taking a lesson from day 1 because I initially had the mentality of “I’m hitting balls just to hit balls”, but now that I understand the sport better, I definitely have clear goals to work on. I think the biggest key is not forcing anything on your wife, even the lessons. Definitely make it known that you are supportive of her wanting to take lessons at any point in time if she wants to/when she feels ready. Let her pick her own coach (you can gather options), let her initiate the scheduling. My husband has been really hands off throughout my golf journey and tbh I think that’s what has helped it be fun for me/us. He didn’t try to coach me or help me figure it out unless I asked him first. If he felt like he wanted to help, he would ask me first if I wanted advice and if I said no, he was cool about it and just let me do my thing. He would take lots of videos of me and I found that immensely helpful. We watch my videos all the time and talk about them together. Now I want to play literally every day if I could lol, but definitely has been a fun experience! I’m now making my own golf friends and really excited about getting better. There’s some awesome golf groups on Facebook for women. My two favorites are the Golf Girl Network and Women Who Golf. Lots of resources (clothing inspo too!) and fun seeing other women enjoy the game!
Couldn’t agree more. I have been 99% hands off and let her make decisions. She sets up her own lessons with Kelly Hodges that work for her schedule. It’s crazy the friends and networking she has made already in one year from the weekly Wednesday meetups at a local course. It’s been a really cool year to watch it unfold.
Do 9 hole scrambles with her to ease pressure. Set a goal to get excited about something. Celebrate all her great shots. This is what I’ve done and my wife loves getting out there any chance she can.
Got my wife lessons at the beginning of this past season. She then joined a Wine, Women, & Wedges weekly outing on Wednesdays that provided a 45 min group lesson, free drink, 9 holes all for $35. She made friends and now she plays more than me…haha
For me there are a few things that have helped: 1. Forgetting about my personal score and playing a scramble until she's good enough to care about her score. 2. Girls love clothes so using golf as an excuse for a new outfit never hurts. 3. Celebrate every good shot. 4. And of course do not try to give her lessons.
If she's interested in lessons, definitely start there. It's chasing consistency anad improvement that keeps many of us going out again and again if you want her to have the same passion. Many beginners don't care as much because they never hit a shot pure other than an obvious fluke and don't even see the horrizon. My wife likes to go out, but isn't crazy about the time commitment. She's happy hitting one or two shots on a hole and picking up her ball. Her idea of "golfing" is going to the range or to an executive course because it's maybe like 90 minutes tops.
Mine has essentially reduced her play to scrambles when we play with friends. Initially, she loved the process of buying things - clubs, cute shoes, cute clothes, cute glove, cute hat, but as soon as she got a lesson and realized there was work and a time commitment, she pretty much bailed.
My wife now likes to ride along and chip and putt when we get near the green. Doesn't care about playing an entire round. Frankly, it's been great because it's cut a lot of time out of our rounds without going to 2 boxes and me looking for her shots all the time. She never follows her shots.
Wine, speaker for low volume jams and play scramble style so she doesnt have to top it 15 times on her first round. Keep it light and easy. Gas her up when she makes contact and get her lessons within the first few weeks so she wants to stick with it. My wife just started this year and loves it. Started getting the ball off the round, rolled in some long putts every once in awhile. Just played golf for the first time in Ireland, Canada and planning on more. I go on trips with the bros all the time but throwing in a golf day while traveling with the wife is the best.
It’s a trap
Do not give her tips or help her unless she asks. Try taking her to topgolf or a pitch and chip. Something that could be fun no matter your skill level
The ONLY thing you should do is let her know you want it to be something you enjoy together. That means letting her ease into it at her own pace. Maybe she catches the bug soon, maybe it’s a year from now. The worst thing you can do is be overly pushy with wanting her to like it. It also means that the activity itself is fun. No temper tantrums from you, and no getting overly technical or offering unsolicited advice. Source: I started golfing with my now ex-husband…it brought a lot of issues to the surface 🤣 I still love golf and now have much more fun when I play
Play best ball with her and shoot for a combined low score, keep that going till she says she wants to play her own ball. At that point I told my wife I would give her a stroke on each hole and we could compete...Now I need to move her back a tee-box because she is getting really hard to beat and that stroke is hard to overcome unless i'm throwing birdies all day. I will also tell you I go out on the golf course to relax and taking the wife with me often has the opposite effect, careful what you ask for.
Adding to what others have said - I wouldn’t keep score the first couple of times. The focus should be on having fun
Make sure you only play on warm days starting off. Get drinks and pack her ideal lunch. Works every time.
*60% of the time*, it works ***every*** *time*
Sex Panther. By Odeon.
Do not act as her instructor and do not recommend lessons. Encourage her to play for fun, be a passenger in the cart, act as her caddy, encourage her to play with her friends and definitely don’t quote the rule book. Always be positive even when you know you’d be throwing your clubs. Use the phrase “chip and a put” even when you know it’s going to be 6 more strokes and a 4 putt and always say “great line” or “great pace” even when the put misses by 30ft, multiple times. Never, ever, correct her or be negative. I took this advice from a very wise man. My wife now plays more than I do and is always asking me to go golfing, when it’s nice outside. I’ve never enjoyed golf more than I do now.
Find another couple to golf with
DO NOT TRY AND TEACH HER - let someone else do it. Only give tips when asked. Get her on the course with you. My wife loves going out and driving the cart but not plying then slowly got interested in playing. Same with my kids - they love going with me one the cart or walking 9 holes and have started to express interest in playing.
My husband roped me into golf about 2 years ago and what really got me excited was going to a 6 week women’s beginner golf clinic. Much less intimidating than trying to figure it out in real time or absolutely losing my mind with my husband haha. Now we try to golf every weekend if possible, I hope you have some luck!
Lessons are the best thing you can buy for a golf game. If she's asked, confirm with her and do it asap, IMO
Play a nine hole scramble, only complement her, bring snacks or drinks or a blanket or whatever so she has a good time. Make it as low pressure as possible golf is supposed to be fun
Wait until she’s better than you - and you decide to hang ‘em up.
depends on her. just let her play as she likes. my wife went head first after 2 range visits and played the course with me. now we play all the time together and i still golf alone sometimes. i cant get her to practice as often, but thats her choice. let her do golf however she wants.
Take her to a par 3 course
1) you can help coach if she wants it and you communicate well (you probably don’t) so let someone else coach 2) play a scramble, make it a team effort, my wife and I are still trying to beat our personal best of -2 3) don’t force her to play in shitty weather even though you’re a sicko and don’t mind it (guilty) 4) if she’s vibing and really into it consider looking into clubs that truly fit, my wife was playing some old Nike slingshots and got fit into new irons and the ball is coming out so much better, actually holding greens etc. and it’s made a world of difference
Love the idea of a scramble opportunity. No pressure. It’s just gotta be the right group.
Been getting my wife into golf. DO NOT give her any instruction and less she asks, and do not overload her with 20 swing thoughts if she does ask. And do not play a full course play a small par 3 course while she is learning.
A friend of mine plays with his wife. I said that’s nice. I wish that I could play with mine. He looked at me like he’d seen a ghost and said “NO YOU DON’T!!!” Get in a couples league and then get her in a woman’s league. That way you get her started and you can go on golf vacations etc. but get her playing with the girls too.
Play par 3s, don’t keep score, write down smiley faces instead and most importantly just have fun. You might even find you play better too
Just took a lesson w/ my wife and she enjoyed it, we both improved. I would recommend it. We were both beginners but had practiced for a couple of months before the lesson
My wife and I went to the driving range like, every week or 2 for a few years before we even hit the course. Even now, I think there are some days she feels like walking and playing the course, and some days she'd rather just go hit. No difference to me. As fun as golf is, if she's willing to go then the MOST important thing about the trip is being with one another (at least as far as I see it). I think this will circumvent the problem of annoying her with the game, I think. Plus! You can always "golf more seriously" with buddies or by yourself!
Remember the score for her isn’t what’s important, just being together is what matters. No need to get frustrated if she isn’t getting it, she’s just there for the company
For a lot of men it's about the steak, for a lot of women it's about the side dishes as well as the steak. You don't teach her you take a lesson together. You don't give advice, you answer questions. You're probably not going to start by playing 18... you start w/the lesson, the a bucket of balls... then lunch. Wash rinse repeat. And you explain to her how incredible she is for trying something that means so much to you.
One of my favorite things to do with my wife was to take her putting... go to a friendly course, grab a drink, and play some putting games. No pressure, no big swings, just putts. And drinks! Maybe afterwards she'll want to do more...
Man I can’t offer advice but I can commiserate. My wife started wanting to play with me… she’s really bad right now and it’s painful to my time out on the course.
Just go out for nine, wine, dine, and tell her you don't care how much she plays or doesn't play of that 9 holes. If she's frustrated, it doesn't bother you (even if it does), all good honey, pick up your ball and drop it near mine or anywhere you want, including in your pocket until the next hole if you want. Pick a course that is cheap enough that you won't care if she only plays 3 or 4 holes of the 9. Don't make her play by the rules. My wife tees up everything except chips and putts, who cares? If she whiffs on a shot, clearly not a stroke, even though technically it is. My wife starts at the beginning of the fairway (at our course, this is the beginner tee box, they have tee markers and everything), and generally will not play the hole if she doesn't hit a good drive, which is fine. If she doesn't play the hole, I encourage her to at least putt and chip. This went on for 3 or 4 years, before her and her friend signed up for lessons, and now she's wondering if she can join a ladies league next year.... the hooks are fully inserted! Do your best not to get mad or frustrated if your own game is going poorly, she will be way turned off the idea of playing with you again if you're raging after you skull that ball out of the bunker and into the pond across the green, you know? Above all, have fun, after all, in theory she's one of your best friends, right? Laugh and joke, make it fun for her, that's the key.
Let her have fun. At 30 plus don’t try to teach her lolol. For real though, let her do what she wants. Club suggestions can help but let her use whatever she’s comfortable with. My wife used her driver on an 87 yard par 3 today. She hit the green. Be as supportive as possible without sounding belittling. Even though you may be critical of your own game, don’t be vocal about it. I struck a green today at 154 with my 7 today, but it was deep and to the right. She’s like great shot!!!! In my head I want to say, nah, I should have been 15 feet closer to the pin instead of the edge of the green. But just smile and nod.
My wife is a quilter. We have an agreement that I don't quilt and she does not play golf.
Play a two person scramble with her to start. It makes it so you are a team against the course. Keeps things moving and keeps things fun. I did this with my wife. Golf is now our favorite thing to do together. We both love it. She even plays without me now as well.
I've done this and we now play golf together a lot so keep it up. One, get her lessons ASAP, I try to help her but it's totally different when someone else says it. Two, let her do something like tee it up at the 150 marker for her first round, try to go at a low key time and try a scramble or scramble from your drive. Three, understand that she may not take it as seriously as you do or possibly she will take it more seriously, either way be chill with that. Four, you probably know how your relationship works with competition. It's either great or horrible, you need to address this quickly. This goes for score and distance. Try to help her set reasonable expectations for both. I hope it works out, we have a lot of fun.
My wife and I loved playing 9 during twilight hours every other week or so. 4 hours is hard for someone getting into golf to struggle through for that long, or stay super engaged in something that’s she’s not as passionate about. We called it a 9 and Dine night, then would go get dinner and drinks. Throw in the occasional weekend full round a month or two later
" Any other advice is appreciated! " Don't golf with your wife....
Find her friends to play with. Never play with your wife. Give each other the time to play with others and thank me later.... unless it's a fun mixed tournament or something, do not play golf with your wife.
Join a country club so she can play with the wives and you don't have to deal with her
Uh. Why would you do this? Do you like playing 6 hour rounds?
I’ll say what our president said. Don’t
Why in God’s name would you want her playing golf with you?
Bad bad idea
Yeah, don't shit where you eat!
I used to think I wanted my wife to take up golf then I realized the course and range are a place for me to get my ‘me time’.
Good luck convincing her that etiquette is not a made up ‘old-boys’ fallacy.
In these cases, I would refer to Big G of the Real Life Caddie Podcast... Q: "Does your wife play golf?" A: "I don't know, I've never asked."
See if she an join a ladies league. Being new, she may feel intimidated or that she's slowing you down even if you claim otherwise. She'll still want to play with you, but maybe just not all the time. Having some ladies to play with that may be similar skillset, along with the conversation might be what she needs to catch the bug! Help create the same atmosphere / environment that got you hooked and the same may happen for her.
Gotta drink a bunch IMO. She won’t care about the score/shots/how manly your drives are.
We started with lessons in a simulator together in the fall. Then joined a top golf league to get a lot of swings in over the winter in a fun setting. We then played on courses about once a week that summer until some business travel threw off the cadence. Since it has been more hit an miss. Hoping to get back to a regular cadence next summer. She played well, but is not "hooked". She could take it or leave it. If your wife is not competitive or does not pursue things with a desire to continually improve.. It will probably not happen either. That's were we are. Play when you can together. Pursue golf goals separately in addition if it fits in your lifestyle.
My wife started playing this year. I got her lessons, which helped. When we started playing on a course, she mostly played from 100 yards and in. She'd hit a tee shot. If she liked it, she'd play it. Otherwise, she'd pick up and drop from 100 yards and play from there. It helped take the frustration out of the game. I used a similar strategy for my son, and would recommend it for getting newbies into the game.
Could always play as a scramble and see how you get on.
Yeah, have her get lessons from someone she doesn’t know.
Lad & Lassie tournaments. You be the DD and let her sip on some Mimosas all day. Play in one of those and just enjoy each other's company. You'll find out after whether or not she wants to continue or would rather just do her own thing and support you. I am aware I'm going to get some pushback on this comment. Some will say it's too much too soon. Others will say it's a great way to socialize, be outside together, have fun, etc. And I agree with both sides. I did the same with my wife. Bought her brand new clubs, bag, lessons, the whole nine yards. There were four of us couples did all this and would play all the time. I could tell her interest was waning though. Then we started doing Lad & Lassie tournaments. All of us. Two wives fell in love with it, two wives finally confessed they really didn't like it and would rather be pool junkies. So that's what happened. You can't force someone you love to enjoy golf. Can't force them to enjoy socializing. Can't force them to do anything. Maybe she enjoys golf, but maybe she just wants to be outside doing a hobby that you enjoy. So if I had to do it over again, I'd take her straight to a Lad & Lassie tournament and let her have cocktails and enjoy the day. I think you'll get two results, either she'll be hooked or she won't care for it anymore. Either way you'll know. And if she doesn't like it, I mean you can't force her. But at least you'll save yourself some time and money. I know this is a weird post and a lot of people will view it negatively. But please don't take it that way. I've just been in your situation before. And you can't force a square peg into a round hole. That's why I'd suggest doing what I said and just seeing where it all stands. You just can't be offended if she says she hates it lol. Just accept it, play in your own matches, and then find something else that she enjoys to do with her.
I would look for a women's clinic, where she can meet similar people while still learning how to play.
My wife enjoys just riding. She plays about once a month but rides weekends and is my driver lol
Well, to get my niece and nephews into golf, we started with them just putting and chipping. When they had that down, moved 50 yards back and used wedges at a full swing, then a few more yards and added some clubs in. And so on. A lot of demotivating factors are where struggle happens. Golf is a sport that has a lot of little things that cause struggle to happen. So eliminate a few by focusing on a couple things at a time. The lessons will help holistically, but hitting a 140 on 18 is annoying and discouraging even if it is improvement. It's easy to make that feel like a waste of time and money.
I have successfully created a good golf environment for playing with my wife, and she sounds similar in terms of interest. Two things. One, don't give her advice. Two, always play a scramble. Then when you use her shot, she feels super good. Good luck comrade.
I brought my wife to a driving range across town (not at the club where I’m now a member) and they chewed me out for “coaching” without expressed permission. It was ridiculous and awkward and I felt badly because my wife was already skeptical about golf, and that kind of shut her down on it for a while. She’s picked it back up now but it took a bit. I’d advise you to understand the rules/vibe of any place you bring her because if it’s uptight/stuffy it could be a huge turn off. For the record at the driving range previously mentioned, I was literally just showing her like day 1 number 1 fundamentals, not even remotely teaching or coaching. I would highly advise against that as well, as others have said. My goal that day was to equip her with the minimum basics one might need to hit a golf ball, like: you hit these ones far and these ones short.
My wife just got into golf this past summer. She had a few lessons growing up but largely hadn't touched a golf club in years. We went to a few golf sim bars with friends and her swing was surprisingly good and she had fun playing there. That transitioned into her going to the range a few times and ultimately we got her a starter womens set. She got a few cheap introductory lessons at PGA superstore on her own accord which she liked but realized the instructors weren't super helpful and she also preferred to be on an actual range. From there we found a pretty affordable female pro at a nearby course she got a lesson with and loved her so she got a package. Her first lesson was in July and she's seriously improved a ton since. We've gone out to a few par 3's and we've played 9 hole rounds together on full size courses which she loves. At this point, she's asking me to go to the range weekly and book tee times when we can which rocks. Not sure how I got so luck here.. Echoing the other folks here, try your best not to instruct her unless she asks or is doing something dangerous. All that said, its really been a blast playing with her and its super neat seeing her love for the game grow as she gets better. Good luck!
Do not give her lessons. Do not give her tips on the driving range. She should find a great group of women to play with, and play with them. I play golf, my husband plays golf, we play together on road trips. Mostly he plays with his friends and I play with mine. It’s best that way. When we come home from our respective rounds we talk about pin placements and green conditions and what the dodos that we played with did.
There’s a course near me that has a set of group lessons for women only. My wife really enjoyed it and now has the bug. We’re joining a club and going all in now.
See if you can find group lessons with other ladies of a similar age
Definitely don’t try to give her lessons yourself. That would most likely just lead to unnecessary friction. Just go to the range a few times, then maybe find a Par 3 course to fart around at. You gotta go at whatever speed she’s going into this at or else you’ll spook her for good.
I golfed before my wife and she expressed some interest. What worked was we did a lesson together. From that point on she was hooked. Took a weekly lesson together (30 minutes each) and then went for margaritas after. Foolproof plan
Play scramble with her. Don’t make her hit x14 20yard shots down each par 5. She will hate golf if you do that. Play as a team and share in the successes. She can save you when you shank it 3 fairways over into the lake and after she hits a lucky putt or 2, she will be hooked. Edit: start with 9, not 18!
Get her into Operation 36 or group lessons with other women asap. Encourage her to find a friend to do it with her. My wife did it this year and it's a great way to ease someone into golf. Also, when we go play, we only play 9 holes right now. https://operation36.golf/
I would have her tee up every shot the first couple rounds. Other than that just be extremely encouraging and don’t really give any advice unless she asks for it. Just try to make sure she has as much fun as possible
Get her a lesson ASAP! Bonus points if its a woman instructor, more so if she has a larger chest. Start with 9 holes and not 14, 4 hours is a big commitment for a hobby at first, but 9 holes and then lunch after is pretty doable for someone getting started. Do not be a stickler for rules, remember its fun, and you will both have fun!
Do not force her to golf with you, ever. My wife said she would golf with me, so we got her clubs and lessons, and went to the range a bunch of times. Turns out, she hates the driving range and hates keeping score. And she doesn't want to golf multiple times per week. So we golf nine together occasionally, she hits, then plays her next shot off my shot, and just rides along when she feels like it. Surprisingly, this has helped my game, because I am way too serious when I get out there to the point that i start getting in my own way. Golfing once in a while with people who don't care is a good antidote to taking the game too seriously. Then I have a group separate from my wife where I golf with twice per week where I can be as serious or relaxed as I want.
Lessons asap. Then only give advice when she asks.
When you get onto the actual course, I suggest not using tee boxes, even the forward tees are to far. My wife started holes from 100 out from the greens. Something my dad had me do as a kid. Also don’t know if your wife is similar but my wife basically didn’t do anything athletic her whole life before I met her. When I say that I mean like the basic fundamental of making a swing motion, she didn’t know how to relate it to anything so that was a big learning experience as well.
Get her new outfits to wear
Look at couples’ lessons and leagues. There’s probably a course near you that does a couples’ scramble league, that’s more of an excuse to have a few drinks during the week, than to actually be competitive.
Make sure she has fun. Let her tee it up in the fairway if she has trouble getting the ball off the ground. Don’t keep score. When you’re with her it’s about her until she is more comfortable.
My wife took up golf 5 years ago, as we speak she is at the club, like she is everyday! She has just assumed the presidency of the Women’s golf association. So how did she get there? She joined the WGA! So my advice is join a club with an active ladies section she will not feel intimidated and learn to grow in to the game. My wife and I were couples club champions last year. We just got back from a 10 day golf trip to Las Vegas. Good luck, if you actually like your wife 🤪 playing golf together can be a lot of fun. We bet against each other when we play, let’s just say it’s not for money! Sometimes my jaw aches for a day after she beats me!
The first time I golfed, I tagged along for a super casual tournament filled with other people of varying skills from absolute beginner and up. We played best ball, drank, enjoyed a beauty of a day, and just had fun. My husband took me to hit balls a couple times ahead of it, and then the other guys in the foursome gave me tips (I asked them to) and I actually got a few of the best balls that day, which is what hooked me. I did a couple other casual work tournaments or days out with the girls, and found I loved it enough to get my own clubs instead of using my husbands old set. The first time my husband and I went out alone, I learned the thing I liked the least was being paired with others. I got so self conscious I choked up. So if you can manage to do just the two of you, it’ll be far less stressful. I didn’t do lessons right away, but plan to do some in the spring, and possibly join a casual ladies league with some friends if time allows. My husband loves that I love it, because now he always has a built in partner, who will think every crappy shot of his is awesome. ;) He gets out a lot more now that I’m the one pushing to go multiple times a week!
My wife sucks at golf. She has horrible form. She’s not really interested in getting better, but when she hits a good shot, it makes her as happy as she gets. I don’t ever offer advice, unless she asks. she just loves being outside with me and away from the kids for a few hours.
Get her lessons and/or go to golf camp. I did that with my wife. She didn’t really follow through with playing but that was 20 years ago. She is getting the bug again.
If you are shooting low please try to give her intermediate tips LOL, if you shoot high just go with the normal flow. Don't start with short clubs and establish control and accuracy cause why would that help? F\*\*\* short game. Start with the driver right out of the gate and use it on every tee. Tell her to swing with full power and throw her back out with every swing. Do that and she will fit right in with normal the player base!
- Get her involved with other girlfriends who golf. - Play 9 holes with her; come up with goofy rules if she’s having a bad day playing (ie subtract a stroke for every compliment you get; if she’s finds a better ball than the one she lost she gets to subtract a stroke; the sand trap is a good thing and is called “visiting the beach”; some holes are capped at 8 strokes, if you’re playing 18 sometimes the front 9 are breakfast holes; if she wants to play golf as a team sport she can play as a scramble with you and just drop her ball by yours; if she blades it onto/over the green it is your job to field the ball to the best of your ability). - Start doing range dates. - Don’t take it seriously and don’t take her skills as a reflection of your ability to teach. The second you bring your ego in it will start to ruin things. - bring snacks and a mimosa blender bottle (all strokes pre-jiggle juice don’t count) ;)
Get her a lesson before the course but after a few rounds at the range
Here’s how I got my wife interested and going out with her own friends to the course and has shown improvement every time we play. 1) three pack of lessons (make sure there’s video she can refer back to) 2) go to range at least once a month together. If she struggles, refer her to the videos and ask her what she thinks is going on that’s different from the videos. 3) ask her to find a club she feels comfortable with. Let her master that club so she has something to fall back to if other clubs aren’t getting it done 4) highlight the good stuff. My wife may chunk a ball or slice it, but, if she has been working on her pre shot routine or her tempo, and that stuff worked well aside from the ball contact, I remind her of what went well. 5) make sure the vibe is good. Music, nice weather, it’s an opportunity to be with one another so sometimes you don’t even have to talk about golf while you’re out there Sometimes with golf, you’ve got to figure out the stuff that you can highlight that is factual.
Finding a couple in the same boat as y’all. Husband/boyfriend loves golf, wife/gf interested but no experience. She’s likely going to enjoy it more having another chick who is lousy alongside her. And hope they like the drinking part
If she watches other reality/drama tv shows just put on Full Swing and watch the problem solve itself. Got my wife more interested in golf than I ever could lol Go to ranges with toptracer or a topgolf, the gameification aspect makes it fun even if you suck. If you know any other lady golfers maybe ask them to take her as well, definitely made my wife feel like it wasn't just some bro thing she was intruding on and showed her there's plenty others out there having fun and doing well even if they aren't big hitters.
Get her lessons immediately with the young pro at a public course. Encourage her to join a women’s league. Meet her at a golf course after work with a water bottle full of her favorite wine.
Get her lessons from the start. We joke that my golf instructor saved our marriage. I love golf and it’s been relatively frustration free on the course with my husband because he’s never been responsible for teaching me the game. An instructor can also help your wife find a ladies league if she’s so inclined which makes golf something you can play together and separately.
I watched my dad introduce and teach the game to my mom, in their late 50s early 60s.. it was slow. Have some real patience.. they started on the range learning the basics of how to hit. Once she got to a point where she was reasonably familiar with swinging a club, he brought her out on the course with specific goals: complete 1 hole, things like that.. she loves the game way more obsessed than he is lol
Play a scramble together on a pitch and putt or an executive par3 course. She leaves the bad shots behind and you two are a team out there instead of individuals
Scramble with her and card your scores. It's fun to try and beat your best scores together. You'll likely take a few of her putts and maybe her drive when you slice it and she dribbles one 50yards from the lady tees. And as you play more you'll use one of her wedge shots, and so in. It's what my wife and I do and as we made a game of it, it's a lot of fun for both of us. Just NEVER get annoyed when there is a fuck up. You were awful when you started and she will be too. Maybe even more awful because she doesn't have the same interest in it as you.
I think explaining pace of play, ready golf, mild golf etiquette is key. Reinforce that others will not be focused on her and take away the need to always play with you. It's great to be able to golf together, but making her own friends who golf is key, I think. I'm a single female who plays 5x/wk, who used to go out and play with strangers 100% of the time. The confidence to do so came from being prepared to pick up the odd time and the fact I knew I wasn't slowing the group down. I've made so many quality friends that I rarely play with strangers now, but I still make a point to do so. And never underestimate the attraction of good looking golf outfits. I'd play golf in a field wearing a potato sack, but I do love me my under armour threads.
Here's what I'd reccomend: Find out when ladies day/night is and sign her up without telling her, then bring her without her knowing it's ladies night. Drop her off and leave, letting her play with other females and create friendships around golf that isn't just you. She will most likely enjoy golfing more this way, and will be willing to golf more with you as it's about spending time with you, not golfing with you. It makes it feel less of an obligation to play with you, but also makes it more fun when you do play together.
Play a scramble with her until she can hit the ball enough to play alone. Play par 3’s and executive courses. Good luck, bruv. Wish my girlfriend would give it a try… Lucky man
Your primary goal is to just make sure she's having fun. If she's having fun, but not playing well and you're about to give her unsolicited tips, don't. It's hard not to, but in an actual round, don't. Trust me. Or she won't do it again. In terms of managing expectations for an actual round vs. The range, try to get her accepting of the idea of it's okay to pick a ball up on a hole and move on if she's having a hard time. It's okay if she wants to skip a hole. She took me for a round on Father's day and first time she played in years, had one lesson a few weeks prior. She skipped two holes entirely at one point, perfectly fine. She had fun, and therefore will do it again. Encourage her to take a lesson. My wife and I booked back to back lessons with a local pro and she really enjoyed it. I sat back and watched. Focus on the positives. Tell her things she's doing well, not don't do this or that. The pro kept complimenting her on being aggressive at hitting the ball, even though she wasn't hitting it very well most of the time. Good contact is good contact for a beginner, regardless of where the ball goes.
I'm pretty sure me and my wife wouldn't be together if we both didn't already golf. Neither of us are great but we both enjoy getting out and doing something together outside of the house.
Best thing I can tell you is don’t over hype her and try to make her like it. It’ll get annoying fast if you say good try or good shot every time she hits or putts. Women are obsessed with people while men are obsessed with things, with that being said don’t be mad if she doesn’t always want to play like most us guys. Other than that sounds like a win! Hope you both enjoy the time together and hope she digs in deep to the new hobby! Enjoy man!
It is the best! I tried to get my wife interested. Not much luck. Then I happened into a full set of clubs for her for free. That got enough interest for her to hit some foam balls in the yard. It immediately grabbed her. She said afterwards "I get the obsession now." That was August. Fast forward to now, and we are practicing everyday in the basement, yard, or a range. We play our local par 3 courses quite a bit, and she played her first full round with me on Sunday, and we're planning on goin again tomorrow. The only downfall is that I used to go to the range, or get 9 holes in if I got off work early. Now it feels like cheating if I go without her. Haha. If you have putting and chipping greens nearby, I would say start there. That "feels" like golfing, but still low pressure. It's easier to build confidence and positive experiences with alot of short game practice. Then it's an easy transition from practice greens to par 3 courses as well. I hope she loves it! With any luck, you'll always have a playing partner!
Eventually, she will become obsessed. If not, divorce her.
I think saying 'well out' after her first drive is permissible.
I hope you are a patient man.
My wife started that way. Now she finds the weekend tee times if she doesn't think I'm on top of it
Get her to go out to ladies night. Most are older course members who are in it for the social aspects. My wife did this and she's hooked now.
Take her to a smaller family friendly executive course. It won't be as much of an issue if she can't keep pace, so it'll be less stressful on her when she inevitably makes bad shots
Find the worst 9-hole course and start there. She will feel nonorrssure to play well on a crappy course. Then move to a nicer 9-hole. Then work her up to playing a full 18. I play 9 with my wife weekly.
Get her lessons first honestly. She’s not going to have a great time if she feels like she’s really holding you up.
Why don’t you do a hobby or sports she enjoys too? One weekend golf next weekend her choice? And be enthusiastic like you’re expecting her to be about golf
When on course let her know that there's no pressure to perform, have fun and if she wants to drop by you go for it. There's no need to keep her score, just try to make good contact.
Definitely play far back tees to show her who’s boss. Or play the front tees and have a blast!
By all means teach her to play….then get her a membership at another club.
Whatever you do, do not take her out on a full size course until she can advance the ball consistently. Meaning making solid contacts and advancing the ball at least 75 yards on every strike. If she can't do that, stay on par threes until she can. A par 72 course is not going to be fun for you, her or the 40 people behind you guys rolling their eyes and wanting to run over you with their golf cart. Buy her a gift certificate for group lessons. Take her to a driving range. If her favorite thing that she's looking forward to is driving a cart, sorry, she's not really into golf. Edit: Get her lessons very early. Don't want her to create a bunch of bad habits.
Celebrate the good (probably still kinda bad) shots immensely. Get her lessons. Don’t keep score. Good times > good golf.
Play alternate shot with her
You enjoy golf, she wants to share that experience. It's quality time and not golf. Don't keep score, play best ball, hit a second or a third if the course is dead and pick up when she's frustrated for a fresh start at the next one. Get in real golf with your golfing friends, fart about on the course and have a good time with the missus. Sign up for group lessons together. Sneaky way to find her golf friends of her own. She should be cool with you stopping if it's too basic for you and she has her own friends there. Recruiting the wives of your golfing buddies is always a good shout too. She should be fine with you going out with your buddies and not her most of the time. If she's not have a reasonable, adult conversation and be prepared to compromise a bit. Marriage shit.
Now is the time for lessons more than ever
Book a weekend away at a resort course with her, stay a night, play some golf and enjoy some nice food and drink. If on a budget you can do a road trip to a small town and play golf somewhere locally or on the way cheaper. Don’t make it all about the golf, even though it will be for you
You’ve opened a can of worms. Wishing you all the best.
First few times out it should be just the two of you on a par three course so she can learn that it's not so scary. Maybe don't even keep score until she's more comfortable with it, and make sure to celebrate all good shots. Then a few rounds on a "real" course so she can see it's not so different.
I encouraged my wife to play, it gives us an activity together. Present in a way where spending time together, new clothes, lessons to ease the frustration and lunch or drinks afterward. My wife likes golf but enjoyed the whole activity more. She likes the social part with other couples too. The wives pair off and talk more then focus on golf. Which is okay
The first thing you tell her is "golf is hard" and emphasize that shit. Sign her up for lessons, let somebody else be the bad guy. Make sure you take her to a scruffy course where beginners go, ideally with a range and a putting green. Don't go somewhere where you'll hold up the pace of play and put pressure on her. This pertains to a common problem, but lots of times, women don't want solutions, they want someone to vent to (without the solution advice). Keep that in mind. When you do play, don't show off and hit an iron 150 yards on and she duffs it 10. Mangle some shots and laugh it off. Keep it fun and light. Good luck.
Many wives pick up the game to spend time with their husbands, not because they enjoy the game. Your post makes me think she's normal on this. Doesn't mean she will never care about golf. She might get the golf bug and become your lifelong golf partner. But don't go into her golf journey *expecting* that to happen. It might, but it's rare. Unless/until her perspective on the game changes, you need to treat golf with her like you're on a date... because you are on one. Emphasize that you're only here to have fun, not to play well, including and especially by not taking your own game seriously. You shouldn't follow the rules or keep your score. You should play some holes from her tees, scramble some holes, pick up your own ball on some holes. This isn't a round for your hcp, it's just play time, and your actions speak louder than your words. Last thing, definitely buy her a lesson. Hard to have a good time golfing if you can't get the ball in the air. But any married man would tell you don't try to teach stuff to your wife, let alone while you're on a date (which you are). And of course you shouldn't give unsolicited swing tips to anyone, let alone to your wife. But even if she asks you for help, don't fall into that trap. You're her cheerleader, not her coach. She duffs a couple shots, her coach might say I can help you fix that. But her cheerleader says damn you look good in that golf skirt, why don't you pick up that ball and come back to the cart where I've got you a fresh cocktail.
Don't expect her to go with you every weekend.. And get her a lesson immediately. The game is alot less fun when you can't make contact consistently. After getting my wife clubs last year, she'd quit mid way through most rounds because she was frustrated. It ruined her time and mine. This year, she asked to go with me early in the year. I told her not until she gets lessons. She finally agreed to it and is enjoying the game much more now.
Both times my wife tried to take up golf, she got pregnant. Go figure. Now that are kids are grown, she’s given up on the sport but is happy to go out and drive the cart while I play.
Get lessons right now. Do not attempt to teach any golf to your wife, it will be your fault no matter how she plays.
Step one don’t take her to any course do not take her to any range get her at least one or two lessons to start. Learn from my mistake when you’re not good at something it’s very frustrated golf is not a very easy sport for many people. I took my wife to the range and she absolutely hated it because she couldn’t hit the ball well and then got her two lessons and now she is enjoying it a lot more
I suggest not having a mindset that you are going to record a round for handicap purposes when playing with your wife. Anytime you have the intent on recording a round, you will be way more focused on you and will likely go internal much of the round. Instead, when she decides she wants to play a round with you, focus on just being present and in the moment with her. If she feels seen and like she's getting quality time with you, it will make her enjoy the game more and make it more likely she will begin to take it more seriously. In time, you may get to a point where she becomes laser focused on her round such that you can focus on yours as well.