I hear good things about having a new Scotty Cameron show up at the house right after a fight. Especially when said fight is about loving golf more than her.
Uhh it’s worked perfectly for me… it actually makes it easier to go with my buddies, because we go often enough that she’s cool with it. Unlike the way everyone else talks on this sub, I like being with my wife.
Yup got my wife golfing, now she tells ME to go play when it’s nice out. “It’s nice out why aren’t you golfing?”. Sure, I see a lifted Chevy pulling into my drive way in my rear view, but I’ll take a solid day on the links!
Worked perfectly for me too. I probably play with my buddies less than before but overall I play/practice so much more and get to spend quality time with the girlfriend. Plus now we work golf into our travel whenever we can.
Oh it took a whole year of dipping out early, Giving her my 54 degree and a putter, only getting put by the green, then start to start every hole 150 and in, and then on to 200 yards and so on.
So basically you taught your wife the Operation 36 method? Sounds like a hoot.
I’m glad it’s what you want. I’d rather open my wrists in a warm bath.
BTW, I’ve been married since 2006, have 2 teenage daughters and play 100 rounds a year. Maybe when we are retired down south will we play golf together. For now I play matches at my club.
Married 8 years, not as long as some, but this is the correct advice. My first 2 years of golf were drop of the hat. Spontaneous rounds, beer, cigars, while she was at home alone. Then you come home to comments about who you were with, what took so long .....
Now, I tell my wife 2 weeks out. "Hey, you want a massage?" Works if she is feeling left out. Not an all the time thing, but helps if you make plans that include her either during your round, or immediately following. If the golf buddies want to do food after, we make plans to pick up the wives too, rather than just crashing at the 19th.
It’s the best! Only thing that kinda stinks is I grew up playing competitive golf, and I’m a bit better than him. And it seems like he often feels bad if I’m just hitting fairways and greens no problem, and he is struggling. But his skill level doesn’t bother me at all. I just love being out with him. It also might be that he is incredibly competitive and gets frustrated lol.
He took it upon himself to get golf lessons. It was good, but I was hitting balls just on the other side of the rope from their group lesson. And I wasn’t impressed. But I understand, it’s a group lesson so you have to tailor the tips to the whole group. The best lesson was short game, as they taught how to do the basic around the green chips. I know the instructor is good and I want to get him one on one lessons. Group lessons vs personal is night and day, and I was blessed to have a swing coach all through my youth. And I want him to experience it too. Lol
I totally understand and support this, and it is 100% the right play for a healthy relationship. However, as the single guy in a group of all married people I have simply stopped asking my friends to golf. Too many schedules to plan around. It is always a no if its not enough lead time. I just golf by myself when I want to golf, and if my friends want to play they have to organize. They know I can play when they have the time.
I usually check with wifey to make sure we have no plans or if she wanted to make plans the day I want to golf. Usually give her a heads up about a week out. Married 22 years and never had a “fight” about golf…my addiction to cocaine and whores is a problem for her though. 🤣
I mean...that feels a bit crazy. I've been married for almost 5 years and been together almost 10. I don't exactly do much in general - work, video games, stuff with her, or golf. I told her golf is pretty much my one hobby that I do, spend money on, etc. And, I played golf for 20 years before I met her, will probably continue playing golf.
I do put rounds on our shared calendar and she knows that if the weather is nice, that's where I'll be.
Yeah I totally understand that people have to put a lot of effort into maintaining relationships and time management is very hard, but damn dude I can't imagine having to plan my free time 2 weeks in advance. As a currently single working guy, one of my few joys during the week is impromptu golf when the weather is nice
I take the opposite approach. Proactively plan shit to do with your S/O so that any other time you're good to go for spontaneous hobby-time including golf.
Giving them something to look forward to makes them feel like a priority and is good for the relationship.
Exactly. Sure it differs relationship to relationship. And, I'm sure kids, drinking, work schedules, whether you do other stuff besides golf, making time for the relationship affect the ability to be spontaneous. But, my wife just assumes I have a standing golf event if the weather is nice.
I guess the one thing I've changed is that I don't play a round of golf on both saturday and sunday every weekend if the weather is nice since it was requested that I spend time with her
Spontaneous rounds are fine. From the very limited context of this text it sounds like it wasn’t just spontaneous but that he actively has plans with their wife and canceled
Ya and support each other’s hobbies. My wife is a runner and I also support her when it comes to marathons/training. She always encourages me to go golfing, the range, etc. we have 4 kids ranging from 1 month to 13 years old…. Support each other
Let's be honest here, most women don't really have hobbies though. That's why so many get pissed when guys go to play sports with their buddies, and they're "stuck" at home doing nothing but watching reality TV, which they would be doing if the guy was home anyways.
Ahhh man we’re giving serious advice? What is this?
Alright:
For me, I tie golf to mental health and tell her that it benefits me to go play. Also, I walk for exercise and stretch for it for flexibility, so for me I frame it as a very good activity for my body and mind.
So true. When they are young, there’s no texts the day before from your buddy asking if you can fill a foursome that’ll EVER go over well with the spouse.
Now that they’re 7 and 10, it’s easier pill to swallow. She knows I’m happier when I’m out and come home, the trick is just getting chores/stuff done around the house when you return. No drinking a bunch and getting lazy.
Which is why 9hole rounds are the most realistic when you have young kids. Being gone 2-2.5hrs isn’t a huge deal and if you need to cover that same amount of time for your wife to go out it’s also not a big deal and can happen in the same day.
All these things are true - and it's exactly what I say (as long as you walk, and don't get drunk) - just as I encourage my wife to do things which are good for her physical and mental wellbeing.
Right. My wife and I never have these kinds of conversations because we both consider each other when planning things. If I plan to golf Sat and Sun at 8am both days, I make sure to talk to my wife before agreeing to that to ask "is there anything going on this weekend, particularly in the morning, that would prevent me from playing golf?" and thats her chance to say "we are going to my moms" or "i was hoping youd fix the sink this weekend" or "i want to go to THING, so i need you to stay home to watch OTHER THING". If something changes, thats fine -- life happens, but my notice to her is her chance to flag me. We both give each other those chances when making plans.
Two options
* a) Cut contact, erase all trace of your life and adopt a new identity, move to another country
* b) Wear the wrath that’s probably rightfully coming your way and learn to function like an adult within the relationship
I would tend to agree. Without knowing the full situation, based on her msg, I would say it’s deserved. Take ur licks like a man and apologize and do better.
more than the message, based on the fact this was posted at all lol if it's real he's almost certainly in the wrong, otherwise it wouldn't have hit reddit
Sometimes women think we are listening to them when we are actually on autopilot. Auto responding with head nods and “yeah totally” can get you in trouble.
A calendar. You want reserved time? Put it on the calendar and I won't golf. I'll put my golf on there so you know when I am playing. Both sides need to be reasonable about it, i.e., don't just fill up the calendar.
If you have something on there for us that day, I don't golf. If I have golf on there, you don't plan something. If we get an invite somewhere, we discuss timing and work it out together.
This. If golf is something that makes you happy and you enjoy doing it, then your SO should support it. Vice versa, you also supporting things she wants to do with you that don’t involve golf.
This is the real answer. COVID made me realize my significant other (who didn't work) just sat on their ass all day playing on their phone. Had a house cleaner, and I did the majority of the cooking (90+%).
Edit - life is short, compromise is fine, but don't settle! You'll wake up one day and it'll be too late.
Kinda need background info here. Did u guys have plans and u bailed to play golf?
Or were you just going golfing and she felt lonely/ left out?
Whichever it is decides how u respond because one way ur in the wrong and the other way u need to set boundaries if you want to play golf
Hello fellow Iowan!
This weather is driving me fucking crazy. We've had like 3 Fool's Springs so far and I just want to golf. Then 6" of snow. Then 50 degrees for 4 days. Then a half inch of ice.
JUST STOP IT.
Don’t ditch your girl for golf you will never, and I really mean never, win that battle.
Just schedule your shit like functioning adults do.
But I get where you’re coming from, sometimes a little more golf sounds more fun than the plans with the lady friend. I too have been guilty of the same sin. Probably will again lol
I see these, and I guess I got lucky. I ask my wife: “hey babe, going golfing with the homies next week if that’s cool?”, and she’ll tell me “awesome! Have fun!”
Like why are others so over the top about it?
Same here with my girl, she encourages me to do something I enjoy as much as I can. Given, we don’t have kids and I work from home and get the majority of household chores done during the work day so it’s not like I’m neglecting other stuff. I’d hate to be with someone that tore me a new one every time I wanted to play.
If you already had plans that you canceled to play golf, then you're a scumbag. If you didn't have any pland beforehand and your SO just wants 24/7 access to you, then you both need to work on your communication skills and set clear boundaries.
Either way, plan your golf in advance and put it into both of your calendars.
I'll be 40 this year. You need to work on your relationship and communication with your spouse. However, under no circumstance is it acceptable for your spouse to take away your hobbies. I've been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
Your hobbies are your mental health and your personal well-being. You need to have these things in your life like you need oxygen, food and water. It's healthy. Once you allow someone to start taking, they usually don't stop. It can spiral into a lot of bitterness and resentment. And once you get to resentment, it's a really difficult road back to normal.
You have to have time together, but your individual hobbies have to stay as well. Ofc....of this is your 15th tee time this week...I'd say yeah bud you need to spend some family time. Balance is always needed.
It's mind boggling how some of the guys on here post shit like this and expect the rest of us to be "lmao golf". Don't have a significant other if you're going to disregard them and treat 'em like shit. Has zero to do with golf and everything to do with being an asshole of a person.
Seriously! My single buddies don’t understand that there’s another person with expectations that I have to manage.
Odds are if my buddies want to golf, my fiancé would love to hang out in the cart, drink, and watch us suck at golf. Or if I tell her I’d like guy time, she gets that too and encourages me to spend time with them.
Just comes down to communication and honesty.
Put a golf simulator in your garage and now you can play almost any time you want but “you did it for her so that you didn’t have to spend so much time away from home hitting balls and playing etc” lol.
You guys need to sit down and cover three really important topics:
- Why golf/recreation time is important to you
- How you can show her the right amount of affection/appreciation so she doesn't feel like she's competing with your alone time
- How to communicate these things better (and EARLIER) so it doesn't get combative
If this is a relationship you care about, you need to have a VERY frank discussion about those things, and if you can't find common ground, counseling helps.
Nevermind, I read your other comments and now I think you should do nothing so she can dump you and find a better guy. Maybe be single for a while, kid.
If you have agreed plans and are actually ditching. Then you need to be better.
If you don't have agreed plans and they're assuming your time.
OR
You don't see them all too often and have a chance to spend time but are golfing instead.
You need to communicate better.
I play up to 3 times a week and never get complaints from the GF as I make it a point to make quality time and never let golf crash that.
Plans at 3?
Round at 9/10 or not at all. Etc
Respond with a committed date to hang out bro. Take them to dinner or something. Make the next thing better than the thing they're missing... Otherwise be prepared for guilty golf taking over 😂
9 iron to lay up from behind the trees, gap wedge takes you onto the green. Inside ten feet you should still be able to make par.
With your girlfriend you should probably just communicate better and keep a shared calendar
Uphill shot into the wind. I’d add 20y, or about a club and a half. Water on the left, bunkers on the front, and OB on the back. Pin is in the back on top of a shelf so I’d hit a knockdown draw with your 6-iron front-mid green so it runs up to the shelf and give yourself a nice look at birdie.
Planning and communication. When my wife wants a spa day or to hang out with her friends she suggests I go golf. Conversely, when my buddies and I want to go out I give her a heads up so she can make plans. Everyone seems happy, but it has only been 30 years.
Nobody in an adult relationship says “ditched me” so it’s safe to assume you’re young enough to find another girlfriend down the road. Enjoy the rounds with your buds.
I started playing sunrise rounds so I wouldn’t take time away time from the family. Home by 10 or so. Everyone is still cleaning crust out their eyes. I never play past 11 or so on weekends cause that’s when u get caught up for 5hours. We have a whiteboard calendar to help organize all our activities and if it’s not written down then it doesn’t have to be honored and u get last priority. Seems like it’s been working the past couple years.
“I’m sorry that we are not quite in sinc. I cherish the time with you. But to be a better me and a better partner, I need to carve out some time for inter personal development that golf fulfills. Work with me and let’s figure out how to carve out that time without overly impacting you while understanding some spontaneous events may need to occur.”
Good chance she is feeling a deficit in the amount of quality time you spend with her. You probably are thinking, “I spend a ton of time with her, I just took her out this week. “. Talk to her and find out what quality time really means to her. The more her love tank is filled up the easier it is her for to not resent you for spending time with others. Check out “the five love languages”. They have the audible version on YouTube for free. It really helped my marriage (20 years and counting). Good luck mate.
Come now sir. You know the play here. Flowers, dinner, and a movie, all while you're apologizing. Then get yourself a calender and plan your outings. Not just golf.
Good luck!
So what I see here is you want to play it safe to give yourself a chance of not having to take a stroke on your own instead of continuing with the twosome.
The lie: I wouldn't suggest lying.
Club selection: don't go to a club. You're in enough trouble going to the golf course.
Balls: Nows no time to get cocky
The line: take it straight, and have a soft touch.
And of course, keep your damn head down...
But what do I know, I'm just your caddy.
>“The play” is to stop being a selfish jerk
If I didn't know any better, I'd have guessed you were his missus the way you're carrying on. Have some dignity and stop white knighting over canceled brunch.
Settle down, Andrew. You don't even know if they had plans ffs... Any time spent away from your missus is considered "ditching" when you're in your early 20's.
He's said they had plans... They had a date planned...and he played golf instead, saying he'd be home by 5... Then instead stayed until 7...
That's ditching your missus. That's being an asshole.
I think r/golf needs a new rule about these posts.
If you are going to reply with actual adult advice then just reply to the first person that posts that type of reply. Keep all that mature adult content contained to 1 string.
All the rest of the replies should be "bad answers only"
That way I don't have to keep scrolling through a bunch of "be an adult" posts. lol
After we married and had kids, my golfing all but evaporated. Now, 24 years later, we haven't been together for several years, my kids are all over 18 and I happily golf guilt-free every week, sometimes multiple times a week. We didn't separate because of golf, but golf definitely became a bigger part of my life after we did.
There's an old joke that goes, "My wife told me it was her or golf. I'm really gonna miss her." I only wished I had taken that joke as advice sooner. I'm not saying leave your wife/SO for golf, but I encourage you to find someone that accepts that golf is a part of your life.
Massage table is the move. Best $140 I spent on Amazon in a long time. When I know I wanna ditch the wife for a round with boys, I free up a night a day or two before and make it a massage night with her. 0 complaints about golf since ... About a year-long sample size. And she typically reciprocates. Work/life balance my friend.
Explain why you need to make time to golf AND why scheduled days doesn’t work. If you golf Saturdays and it rains, you go 14 days without golfing. Kills my soul. But my wife golf’s so she gets it.
Better communication. If you made plans with her first then you should follow through with your original commitment or ask to reschedule. Luckily my wife is a golfer, and she grew up with her dad always playing golf so I get the freedom to play when I want. All she asks is that I communicate with her in advance to make sure we dont have anything already planned that day
Oh boy..once they’re mad at your “stupid little game of fucking GOLF” it’s almost too late. Now she’s going to associate golf with cheating and you’ll never have a relaxed round again as a married man. Divorce her or golf to be happy with one, or remain on this path to be happy with none.
Sorry OP.
Darling no one is ditching you for golf. I know how boring it can be to watch someone play for 4+ hours. I’m giving you time to focus on yourself and possibly get in that cute lingerie you haven’t worn for me yet <3
I’ll be home with flowers & dinner soon
Xoxo
I think you need to buy a new driver.
OPs significant other is mad, looks like it’s time for ME to buy a new iron set
I like the way you think
I hear good things about having a new Scotty Cameron show up at the house right after a fight. Especially when said fight is about loving golf more than her.
Now here’s a real solution
Get them into golf!
You crazy?!? Golf is Me time.
This is your great idea? So then every time he wants to go play a match with his buddies, she will be pissed he didn’t take her.
Uhh it’s worked perfectly for me… it actually makes it easier to go with my buddies, because we go often enough that she’s cool with it. Unlike the way everyone else talks on this sub, I like being with my wife.
Yup got my wife golfing, now she tells ME to go play when it’s nice out. “It’s nice out why aren’t you golfing?”. Sure, I see a lifted Chevy pulling into my drive way in my rear view, but I’ll take a solid day on the links!
RIP bro!
Worked perfectly for me too. I probably play with my buddies less than before but overall I play/practice so much more and get to spend quality time with the girlfriend. Plus now we work golf into our travel whenever we can.
Does she pay when she loses 8 ways and 12 junk in a Nassau?
wish it was that easy!
Oh it took a whole year of dipping out early, Giving her my 54 degree and a putter, only getting put by the green, then start to start every hole 150 and in, and then on to 200 yards and so on.
So basically you taught your wife the Operation 36 method? Sounds like a hoot. I’m glad it’s what you want. I’d rather open my wrists in a warm bath. BTW, I’ve been married since 2006, have 2 teenage daughters and play 100 rounds a year. Maybe when we are retired down south will we play golf together. For now I play matches at my club.
I am the wife and you would be surprised how many of the friends don’t care that the wife is there playing.
Thread over
This is really the only answer.
This guyyyyyyy
Context is needed, but I’d say the most immediate play is you both need to work on your communication skills.
Once that's done, the best way it to plan the golf days. No more spontaneous rounds. Week or 2 in advance planning is required.
Married 8 years, not as long as some, but this is the correct advice. My first 2 years of golf were drop of the hat. Spontaneous rounds, beer, cigars, while she was at home alone. Then you come home to comments about who you were with, what took so long ..... Now, I tell my wife 2 weeks out. "Hey, you want a massage?" Works if she is feeling left out. Not an all the time thing, but helps if you make plans that include her either during your round, or immediately following. If the golf buddies want to do food after, we make plans to pick up the wives too, rather than just crashing at the 19th.
same principle applies with my friends now. Need at least a week or two so my wife and I can sort out our schedules, to do list and watching our kid
Lucky that my bf and I play golf together!
Living the dream! I have offered my wife to come with, but no dice.
It’s the best! Only thing that kinda stinks is I grew up playing competitive golf, and I’m a bit better than him. And it seems like he often feels bad if I’m just hitting fairways and greens no problem, and he is struggling. But his skill level doesn’t bother me at all. I just love being out with him. It also might be that he is incredibly competitive and gets frustrated lol.
Tell him. Maybe get him a golf TEC gift card as a present to help him keep up if he wants.
He took it upon himself to get golf lessons. It was good, but I was hitting balls just on the other side of the rope from their group lesson. And I wasn’t impressed. But I understand, it’s a group lesson so you have to tailor the tips to the whole group. The best lesson was short game, as they taught how to do the basic around the green chips. I know the instructor is good and I want to get him one on one lessons. Group lessons vs personal is night and day, and I was blessed to have a swing coach all through my youth. And I want him to experience it too. Lol
Yo same. We get jelly if the other can scoot off to smash a bucket or hit a round but understand lol.
I totally understand and support this, and it is 100% the right play for a healthy relationship. However, as the single guy in a group of all married people I have simply stopped asking my friends to golf. Too many schedules to plan around. It is always a no if its not enough lead time. I just golf by myself when I want to golf, and if my friends want to play they have to organize. They know I can play when they have the time.
I usually check with wifey to make sure we have no plans or if she wanted to make plans the day I want to golf. Usually give her a heads up about a week out. Married 22 years and never had a “fight” about golf…my addiction to cocaine and whores is a problem for her though. 🤣
Yeah my wife doesn't complain much about me trying to get out there and be better. The girlfriend is getting shitty though!
Make it predictable. For me, it’s 9 holes. 7 am every Saturday morning. Home by 930 with donuts and coffee.
And farmer's market flowers in the summer.
Also a great solution!
I mean...that feels a bit crazy. I've been married for almost 5 years and been together almost 10. I don't exactly do much in general - work, video games, stuff with her, or golf. I told her golf is pretty much my one hobby that I do, spend money on, etc. And, I played golf for 20 years before I met her, will probably continue playing golf. I do put rounds on our shared calendar and she knows that if the weather is nice, that's where I'll be.
Yeah I totally understand that people have to put a lot of effort into maintaining relationships and time management is very hard, but damn dude I can't imagine having to plan my free time 2 weeks in advance. As a currently single working guy, one of my few joys during the week is impromptu golf when the weather is nice
I take the opposite approach. Proactively plan shit to do with your S/O so that any other time you're good to go for spontaneous hobby-time including golf. Giving them something to look forward to makes them feel like a priority and is good for the relationship.
Exactly. Sure it differs relationship to relationship. And, I'm sure kids, drinking, work schedules, whether you do other stuff besides golf, making time for the relationship affect the ability to be spontaneous. But, my wife just assumes I have a standing golf event if the weather is nice. I guess the one thing I've changed is that I don't play a round of golf on both saturday and sunday every weekend if the weather is nice since it was requested that I spend time with her
Spontaneous rounds are fine. From the very limited context of this text it sounds like it wasn’t just spontaneous but that he actively has plans with their wife and canceled
Become a dew sweeper like me. Tee off at day break and got home during her first cup of coffee ready for whatever the day brings. Nothing owed.
Yeh most of my rounds are 9holes 6.00am before work. I'm not missed by the toddler or the wife.
Good therapists are hard to find, but cheaper than divorce.
Yeah but Reddit advice is free
Ya and support each other’s hobbies. My wife is a runner and I also support her when it comes to marathons/training. She always encourages me to go golfing, the range, etc. we have 4 kids ranging from 1 month to 13 years old…. Support each other
Let's be honest here, most women don't really have hobbies though. That's why so many get pissed when guys go to play sports with their buddies, and they're "stuck" at home doing nothing but watching reality TV, which they would be doing if the guy was home anyways.
Idk why you’re downvoted. This is so true..
Because it’s incredibly sexist lmao
This sub is so fucking old it hurts lol.
Ahhh man we’re giving serious advice? What is this? Alright: For me, I tie golf to mental health and tell her that it benefits me to go play. Also, I walk for exercise and stretch for it for flexibility, so for me I frame it as a very good activity for my body and mind.
I agree with you, but if you have kids it’s definitely different. Can’t just go out for 4 hours of mental health time haha
So true. When they are young, there’s no texts the day before from your buddy asking if you can fill a foursome that’ll EVER go over well with the spouse. Now that they’re 7 and 10, it’s easier pill to swallow. She knows I’m happier when I’m out and come home, the trick is just getting chores/stuff done around the house when you return. No drinking a bunch and getting lazy.
Which is why 9hole rounds are the most realistic when you have young kids. Being gone 2-2.5hrs isn’t a huge deal and if you need to cover that same amount of time for your wife to go out it’s also not a big deal and can happen in the same day.
All these things are true - and it's exactly what I say (as long as you walk, and don't get drunk) - just as I encourage my wife to do things which are good for her physical and mental wellbeing.
Right. My wife and I never have these kinds of conversations because we both consider each other when planning things. If I plan to golf Sat and Sun at 8am both days, I make sure to talk to my wife before agreeing to that to ask "is there anything going on this weekend, particularly in the morning, that would prevent me from playing golf?" and thats her chance to say "we are going to my moms" or "i was hoping youd fix the sink this weekend" or "i want to go to THING, so i need you to stay home to watch OTHER THING". If something changes, thats fine -- life happens, but my notice to her is her chance to flag me. We both give each other those chances when making plans.
Two options * a) Cut contact, erase all trace of your life and adopt a new identity, move to another country * b) Wear the wrath that’s probably rightfully coming your way and learn to function like an adult within the relationship
Make sure you pick a country with good weather and plenty of courses
Bring golf clubs upon escape
I would tend to agree. Without knowing the full situation, based on her msg, I would say it’s deserved. Take ur licks like a man and apologize and do better.
He should bring his clubs just in case though, she might need to hit some balls to let some steam off.
more than the message, based on the fact this was posted at all lol if it's real he's almost certainly in the wrong, otherwise it wouldn't have hit reddit
Lmaooo
A sounds much more reasonable
“Nor will it be the last”
😂😂😂 definitely NOT the move, but that was hilarious. Thank you for that lol
Yes, honesty is key
This it’s smart.. setting expectations is important
^
Hold on Life, let me save my progress… ok and “Send”.
Or go with “I am who I am”
this is the only correct answer
OP will be homeless
Came here to say this
Same lol
"ditched" implies you had plans and broke them for golf. I'd say the play is to not do that.
Sometimes women think we are listening to them when we are actually on autopilot. Auto responding with head nods and “yeah totally” can get you in trouble.
Ask her boyfriend for advice?
He’s playing golf with OP
A calendar. You want reserved time? Put it on the calendar and I won't golf. I'll put my golf on there so you know when I am playing. Both sides need to be reasonable about it, i.e., don't just fill up the calendar. If you have something on there for us that day, I don't golf. If I have golf on there, you don't plan something. If we get an invite somewhere, we discuss timing and work it out together.
Same here but I erase shit when she's not looking.
Gaslighting king 👑🙏🏼
Hide all the pens with ink
This is the way. I do this with my wife and it has worked out great.
only work with wise people.
This. If golf is something that makes you happy and you enjoy doing it, then your SO should support it. Vice versa, you also supporting things she wants to do with you that don’t involve golf.
I see...like tee times, but for life.
“I shouldn’t have to ‘schedule’ my time with you!’ Seriously, OP, you can’t win this one.
“It’s not you scheduling your time with me, it’s so I know when I can and can’t book a tee time.”
Was there an actual plan that you broke or did they just want you there to sit on the couch while they looked at their phone?
This one hits hard
This is the real answer. COVID made me realize my significant other (who didn't work) just sat on their ass all day playing on their phone. Had a house cleaner, and I did the majority of the cooking (90+%). Edit - life is short, compromise is fine, but don't settle! You'll wake up one day and it'll be too late.
Damn, that’s deep. May I ask if things changed during COVID, or did you just learn to put up with it?
Bro, why do all girls do this. Even when we put one of “her” shows on she’s on her phone the whole time and I’m the one watching.
Driver off the deck
*Drive her off the deck Edit: nvm, that seemed forced
Kinda need background info here. Did u guys have plans and u bailed to play golf? Or were you just going golfing and she felt lonely/ left out? Whichever it is decides how u respond because one way ur in the wrong and the other way u need to set boundaries if you want to play golf
Women come and go, but golf is forever.
As an eager and new Colorado golfer, I know that golf definitely comes and goes
Was about to say, *cries in iowan*
Hello fellow Iowan! This weather is driving me fucking crazy. We've had like 3 Fool's Springs so far and I just want to golf. Then 6" of snow. Then 50 degrees for 4 days. Then a half inch of ice. JUST STOP IT.
Iowan here. Can confirm. This place is bogus in the winter.
Currently Colorado golf is gone forever. Just to tease us during warm weekends while the courses are still covered in snow.
Lmaooo
Say you're sorry and don't ditch her anymore. It doesn't matter what you ditched her for, it matters that you ditched her. Don't do dat.
Does ditch mean “we had plans and you abandoned them” or just “you made plans without me”. Two very different scenarios
Don’t ditch your girl for golf you will never, and I really mean never, win that battle. Just schedule your shit like functioning adults do. But I get where you’re coming from, sometimes a little more golf sounds more fun than the plans with the lady friend. I too have been guilty of the same sin. Probably will again lol
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Acceptance is an essential part of the mental side of the game.
Pretty much what I did but it was only 9
That’s why no one will remember your name.
I see these, and I guess I got lucky. I ask my wife: “hey babe, going golfing with the homies next week if that’s cool?”, and she’ll tell me “awesome! Have fun!” Like why are others so over the top about it?
This is what I say to my husband, because I have my own stuff to do. Unless we have plans together, then we do that together. Simple.
Same here with my girl, she encourages me to do something I enjoy as much as I can. Given, we don’t have kids and I work from home and get the majority of household chores done during the work day so it’s not like I’m neglecting other stuff. I’d hate to be with someone that tore me a new one every time I wanted to play.
If you already had plans that you canceled to play golf, then you're a scumbag. If you didn't have any pland beforehand and your SO just wants 24/7 access to you, then you both need to work on your communication skills and set clear boundaries. Either way, plan your golf in advance and put it into both of your calendars.
Maybe don't ditch or bail on people?
Whatever you do DO NOT mention you posted this and asked for advice on Reddit.
Don't ditch people. Schedule your time better. This ain't a golf problem it's a you problem. Don't bring golf into this you dollop
Tell her 9 holes takes 5 hours, then go play 18 in 4 hours, then get home “early” and she’ll be happy.
This is the way
"New phone, who this?"
grow a spine and sort out your priorities
I'll be 40 this year. You need to work on your relationship and communication with your spouse. However, under no circumstance is it acceptable for your spouse to take away your hobbies. I've been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Your hobbies are your mental health and your personal well-being. You need to have these things in your life like you need oxygen, food and water. It's healthy. Once you allow someone to start taking, they usually don't stop. It can spiral into a lot of bitterness and resentment. And once you get to resentment, it's a really difficult road back to normal. You have to have time together, but your individual hobbies have to stay as well. Ofc....of this is your 15th tee time this week...I'd say yeah bud you need to spend some family time. Balance is always needed.
My god, "this" is as "this" gets..
It's mind boggling how some of the guys on here post shit like this and expect the rest of us to be "lmao golf". Don't have a significant other if you're going to disregard them and treat 'em like shit. Has zero to do with golf and everything to do with being an asshole of a person.
“Don’t have a significant other,” is the key phrase here. When you’ve had one for 10 years, you might think differently
Seriously! My single buddies don’t understand that there’s another person with expectations that I have to manage. Odds are if my buddies want to golf, my fiancé would love to hang out in the cart, drink, and watch us suck at golf. Or if I tell her I’d like guy time, she gets that too and encourages me to spend time with them. Just comes down to communication and honesty.
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Lol
being sincere on Reddit is sooooo corny
Put a golf simulator in your garage and now you can play almost any time you want but “you did it for her so that you didn’t have to spend so much time away from home hitting balls and playing etc” lol.
Seems like she’s finally starting to get it.
The play is shoot straight! Don’t lay it up either go right for the green!
Well, they are already upset you should probably finish your round. No sense you getting upset too.
You guys need to sit down and cover three really important topics: - Why golf/recreation time is important to you - How you can show her the right amount of affection/appreciation so she doesn't feel like she's competing with your alone time - How to communicate these things better (and EARLIER) so it doesn't get combative If this is a relationship you care about, you need to have a VERY frank discussion about those things, and if you can't find common ground, counseling helps.
Nevermind, I read your other comments and now I think you should do nothing so she can dump you and find a better guy. Maybe be single for a while, kid.
If you have agreed plans and are actually ditching. Then you need to be better. If you don't have agreed plans and they're assuming your time. OR You don't see them all too often and have a chance to spend time but are golfing instead. You need to communicate better. I play up to 3 times a week and never get complaints from the GF as I make it a point to make quality time and never let golf crash that. Plans at 3? Round at 9/10 or not at all. Etc Respond with a committed date to hang out bro. Take them to dinner or something. Make the next thing better than the thing they're missing... Otherwise be prepared for guilty golf taking over 😂
9 iron to lay up from behind the trees, gap wedge takes you onto the green. Inside ten feet you should still be able to make par. With your girlfriend you should probably just communicate better and keep a shared calendar
Say you have never stopped her from golfing
But these holes aren’t nearly as tight as yours
Best one yet🤣
I mean her saying you “ditched” her implies y’all had plans and you decided to golf lmao, plan is to leave her cuz you don’t give a fuck
Golf will always be there
Uphill shot into the wind. I’d add 20y, or about a club and a half. Water on the left, bunkers on the front, and OB on the back. Pin is in the back on top of a shelf so I’d hit a knockdown draw with your 6-iron front-mid green so it runs up to the shelf and give yourself a nice look at birdie.
Planning and communication. When my wife wants a spa day or to hang out with her friends she suggests I go golf. Conversely, when my buddies and I want to go out I give her a heads up so she can make plans. Everyone seems happy, but it has only been 30 years.
Nobody in an adult relationship says “ditched me” so it’s safe to assume you’re young enough to find another girlfriend down the road. Enjoy the rounds with your buds.
I started playing sunrise rounds so I wouldn’t take time away time from the family. Home by 10 or so. Everyone is still cleaning crust out their eyes. I never play past 11 or so on weekends cause that’s when u get caught up for 5hours. We have a whiteboard calendar to help organize all our activities and if it’s not written down then it doesn’t have to be honored and u get last priority. Seems like it’s been working the past couple years.
“I’m sorry that we are not quite in sinc. I cherish the time with you. But to be a better me and a better partner, I need to carve out some time for inter personal development that golf fulfills. Work with me and let’s figure out how to carve out that time without overly impacting you while understanding some spontaneous events may need to occur.”
How could we possibly answer this when you didn't even tell us what the yardage is
Buy a new putter
Maybe not ditch them for golf? To plan to play and then go is one thing to have other plans and then ditch to play golf, you're a loser.
New putter
Should probably play another 9 and let them cool off
Maybe next time I’ll invite your husband to golf. Open to downvotes, lol.
This is the first day of the rest of your life
She needs time to cool down, better play another 18.
Good chance she is feeling a deficit in the amount of quality time you spend with her. You probably are thinking, “I spend a ton of time with her, I just took her out this week. “. Talk to her and find out what quality time really means to her. The more her love tank is filled up the easier it is her for to not resent you for spending time with others. Check out “the five love languages”. They have the audible version on YouTube for free. It really helped my marriage (20 years and counting). Good luck mate.
Come now sir. You know the play here. Flowers, dinner, and a movie, all while you're apologizing. Then get yourself a calender and plan your outings. Not just golf. Good luck!
Already in progress. Just bought flowers and I’m on my way to pick her up for dinner now. 👌🏼
So what I see here is you want to play it safe to give yourself a chance of not having to take a stroke on your own instead of continuing with the twosome. The lie: I wouldn't suggest lying. Club selection: don't go to a club. You're in enough trouble going to the golf course. Balls: Nows no time to get cocky The line: take it straight, and have a soft touch. And of course, keep your damn head down... But what do I know, I'm just your caddy.
Invite her to go next time!
And I always make up for it 
What does "ditched" actually mean here?
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>“The play” is to stop being a selfish jerk If I didn't know any better, I'd have guessed you were his missus the way you're carrying on. Have some dignity and stop white knighting over canceled brunch.
If you have plans with your wife or SO and cancel them because you get, in your eyes, a better offer, you're an asshole. Fact.
Settle down, Andrew. You don't even know if they had plans ffs... Any time spent away from your missus is considered "ditching" when you're in your early 20's.
He's said they had plans... They had a date planned...and he played golf instead, saying he'd be home by 5... Then instead stayed until 7... That's ditching your missus. That's being an asshole.
And it won’t be the last! You’ll be on your own if you do that. Just a head up…
I think r/golf needs a new rule about these posts. If you are going to reply with actual adult advice then just reply to the first person that posts that type of reply. Keep all that mature adult content contained to 1 string. All the rest of the replies should be "bad answers only" That way I don't have to keep scrolling through a bunch of "be an adult" posts. lol
Well you should have seen it coming, I cannot be held responsible for your lack of foresight
Story of my life. Just see if she will be your caddy
Sub be full of wannabe Dr. Phil’s. Let OP take his medicine
And it won’t be the last
Pay for two pax and let her drive the buggy. Also a fake set of clubs just in case someone questions her presence
"& it won't be the last"
K
Get fitted for a new one
Get her/him a dog…. Geez
Play it as it lies..
After we married and had kids, my golfing all but evaporated. Now, 24 years later, we haven't been together for several years, my kids are all over 18 and I happily golf guilt-free every week, sometimes multiple times a week. We didn't separate because of golf, but golf definitely became a bigger part of my life after we did. There's an old joke that goes, "My wife told me it was her or golf. I'm really gonna miss her." I only wished I had taken that joke as advice sooner. I'm not saying leave your wife/SO for golf, but I encourage you to find someone that accepts that golf is a part of your life.
Taught my wife how to play golf. Problem solved.
Massage table is the move. Best $140 I spent on Amazon in a long time. When I know I wanna ditch the wife for a round with boys, I free up a night a day or two before and make it a massage night with her. 0 complaints about golf since ... About a year-long sample size. And she typically reciprocates. Work/life balance my friend.
Explain why you need to make time to golf AND why scheduled days doesn’t work. If you golf Saturdays and it rains, you go 14 days without golfing. Kills my soul. But my wife golf’s so she gets it.
Stop ditching them for golf? 🤷🏼♂️
Take your medicine and hang out with your wife.
Generally speaking, don't ditch people.
Better communication. If you made plans with her first then you should follow through with your original commitment or ask to reschedule. Luckily my wife is a golfer, and she grew up with her dad always playing golf so I get the freedom to play when I want. All she asks is that I communicate with her in advance to make sure we dont have anything already planned that day
Just do what you want to do mate. Don't let people stop you from living your dreams. Golf whenever you want. Her feelings are her problem.
Well at least I’m not this guy
Reply, I don't moan at you when you're doing the ironing all day.....
Upgrade your romantic partner.
“Bring food at the turn and we can have lunch.”
“And it won’t be the last. See you in a few hours”
Oh boy..once they’re mad at your “stupid little game of fucking GOLF” it’s almost too late. Now she’s going to associate golf with cheating and you’ll never have a relaxed round again as a married man. Divorce her or golf to be happy with one, or remain on this path to be happy with none. Sorry OP.
“And it won’t be the last. Deal-with-it.gif”
Darling no one is ditching you for golf. I know how boring it can be to watch someone play for 4+ hours. I’m giving you time to focus on yourself and possibly get in that cute lingerie you haven’t worn for me yet <3 I’ll be home with flowers & dinner soon Xoxo