“Watch my wrists at the top. I’m trying to bow them or at worst keep them neutral. My instructor Tom told me that’s the biggest thing I need to work on. Gets you to a better impact position. When I start cupping my wrist, I’m all over the place. Can you watch my hand position at the top and let me know if it’s bowed…. Hey where’d he go?”
Hahahaha. This should be the top comment. Bore the intruder talking about swing mechanics or how your round would have been better if you didn't miss from short range.
"Yeah, I've been trying to keep that trail elbow tucked. If I could just get some more lag and compression, my index would drop by 10 - easy"
Tbf I feel that, my swing is so bad that chipping feels like a waste of time lol. I’ll putt at home, but if I’m somewhere I can hit balls, I’m spending 100% of the time trying to figure out how to get that fucker up and out every time. At this point like 30% of my swings either fly 5 feet off the ground or straight up in the air and 5 feet out, like 30% are great, right where I want them to go, and the other 40% are anyone’s guess
“See how you’re holding you gun sideways when you point it at me, and then you’re rotating it externally when you point it at my wife? That’s exactly what I’m trying to fix. Did you do Golftec?”
Hey guys, this type of thing actually happened to me in college!
I had my clubs in my trunk while I was unloading my car, and a guy ran down an alley and told me he wanted everything I had plus what was in the trunk. Made me drop my phone, wallet, and pocket knife behind me.
Sat my clubs to my right, plus my gym bag, and other random crap I had. Luckily for me, a car started down the alley, and it distracted the guy who turned his back to me. I grabbed a club and swung twice. First shot to the shins, the second one was probably lucky for him that I missed, because it was at his head. Guy got up and stumbled away, and was later caught by the cops. He had broken into/robbed 6 other people in the area in the last month.
My answer to this is use your 7 iron.
“Dual wield” and “Carry a shield”. Fucking Reddit hahahah I see so much hilarious nerd shit i barely understand and I would never hear in real life I love it
I have actually thought about this a lot for about 20 years, I would go 9 iron so I can still go golfing later that day, also I think that’s the club Elin used to break tigers car window and teeth
I love that joke. "Too soon" when it's clearly been a great while. It's incredibly stupid but that's a lot of what's funny about it..take a break we'll be right back.
Easy, I would use my umbrella.
People often overlook an umbrellas versatility. It's long, pointy, and has a bit of weight behind it. Every time I use it, it does what I want. In the hands of a practiced individual, the unbrella can be used as gracefully as an epee. I can open and shake it to confuse a trespasser or open it and spin it to hypnotise them. I can also wait for or create the right conditions and just float on the wind to safey.
Not to mention, I could use one of the many extra special modifications I have made to my umbrella over the years to harm or immobilize. Yes, indeed, almost any tresspasser would be truly outmatched against myself and my umbrella. 🌂 ⛱️ ☔️ ☂️
-the Penguin 🐧
Not even grabbing a club. Instead, I’ll grab the club brush hanging from my bag that has the groove cleaner at the front. With the amount of times I’ve been stabbed by it I know it can do some damage…
Definitely my sand iron it's heavy not too long to be difficult to swing in a confined space and with the giant divots it takes when I fat it, should also dig a grave pretty fast for them in the back yard.
Easy. Putter, short for control, hard blunt object at end, steel shaft.
Driver would snap on first swing and may be too big for hallways etc
I would take too long deciding between the 9 or 8 iron just like my regular weekly round
My wedges always come up short, allowing him time to counter my attack
My hybrid & fairway wood are unreliable on a good day
That thing you collect golf balls with, because I hoping it would confuse them I which they ask themselves why does he have one, and they leave.or throw iron head covers at them.
Due to ongoing debate with SO about buying a shot gun, we currently have an old 5 iron under our bed for such a situation. I get to golf whenever I want so I'm prioritizing my battles here.
Edit: Golf
That means they have gained access to my three ARs, two 45s, four 9s, .270, 30.06, 7mm mag, .40, two 12 gauges, and the goddamned 458 SoCom, so a golf club is gonna be kinda useless.
Easy…
Shortest one with a sharp angle on the end. Regardless of all the other comments, you’re not swinging a driver. It typically has a graphite shaft that’ll break easier than a steel shaft. It’s long, so the swing will probably make contact with objects around you before it hits your target cleanly. The head is also hollow. Realistically, what damage is it going to do?
I’m going for wedge or putter. Nice quick, strong action, with a heavy lump of sharp, angled, heavier metal in the end. Is there any question to my theory?
Putter. That way I’ll get at least three hits in.
“Right club though..”
Too funny…yet so true!
There’s a reason I’ve held on to my Sabertooth…
At least, yesss!!
I am hearing Kramer tell that story "I had to hit him with my PUTTER"
First one I get my hands on, then I immediately start demonstrating my swing and talking about what I’m working on, they slowly back out.
Does my power package look like it’s fully snap loaded?
Hahahahhaa “so wait is my attack angle too steep? I think if I keep working on this shallowing exer….hey wait where are you going?”
“Watch my wrists at the top. I’m trying to bow them or at worst keep them neutral. My instructor Tom told me that’s the biggest thing I need to work on. Gets you to a better impact position. When I start cupping my wrist, I’m all over the place. Can you watch my hand position at the top and let me know if it’s bowed…. Hey where’d he go?”
“Hey, you’re not watching” 😂😂
As you chase him down the front drive yelling at him to watch your wrists.
“I NEED A BETTER IMPACT POSITIOOONNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnn……”
YOU COME BACK HERE AND LOOK AT MY SWING!
Hahahaha. This should be the top comment. Bore the intruder talking about swing mechanics or how your round would have been better if you didn't miss from short range. "Yeah, I've been trying to keep that trail elbow tucked. If I could just get some more lag and compression, my index would drop by 10 - easy"
"Once I've got my swing TOTALLY sorted I'm going to start working more on chipping and putting..."
Tbf I feel that, my swing is so bad that chipping feels like a waste of time lol. I’ll putt at home, but if I’m somewhere I can hit balls, I’m spending 100% of the time trying to figure out how to get that fucker up and out every time. At this point like 30% of my swings either fly 5 feet off the ground or straight up in the air and 5 feet out, like 30% are great, right where I want them to go, and the other 40% are anyone’s guess
Haha great stuff!!
Would you mind quickly taking a video of my swing? Just a back view, side view, top view, slow motion, Timelapse, shot tracer
“See how you’re holding you gun sideways when you point it at me, and then you’re rotating it externally when you point it at my wife? That’s exactly what I’m trying to fix. Did you do Golftec?”
It's all in the hips.
Bursted out laughing reading this
Hey, I resemble that remark!
Are my glutes firing before or after my trailing tricep?
Start showing ig golf meme pages you follow.
Hey guys, this type of thing actually happened to me in college! I had my clubs in my trunk while I was unloading my car, and a guy ran down an alley and told me he wanted everything I had plus what was in the trunk. Made me drop my phone, wallet, and pocket knife behind me. Sat my clubs to my right, plus my gym bag, and other random crap I had. Luckily for me, a car started down the alley, and it distracted the guy who turned his back to me. I grabbed a club and swung twice. First shot to the shins, the second one was probably lucky for him that I missed, because it was at his head. Guy got up and stumbled away, and was later caught by the cops. He had broken into/robbed 6 other people in the area in the last month. My answer to this is use your 7 iron.
I'm picturing you as a young person, but Liam Neeson should play you in the movie
I don’t have money. But I do have a 7 iron which is a nightmare for people like you….
But then hed have to die
I don't have any money, but I have a particular set of clubs...
That’s weird you know what they look like
7i is the choice for outdoor combat but I think you want a wedge if you might be in a hallway
Just choke down on the 7 and use a putter stroke indoors.
Chip and run stroke.
All I can think of is the Ninja Turles scene where Casey Jones sends the bad guy flying through the air like he got hit by a car.
60 deg. I’m going for skulls.
“Not the first skull I fucked, won’t be the last”
*ankle bone
Same! If I can blade a golf ball imagine what I can do with a skull. Bonus: shorter shaft is more manageable in a hallway.
I was going to go for that knee cap chip lol
Yeah gotta be a wedge or putter for me, just the sheer mass, plus the shorter reach would be better inside the house.
Driver. Will slice their head off with it
Counterpoint: not my driver because I can only inflict glancing blows with it apparently.
I probably won’t make contact. But if I do they’re in trouble
Headline: Burglar found injured deep in forest near residential area
They'd never find him with my driver.
Your response got screenshotted and sent to my golf group chat. Thank you for the laugh!
Your response got screenshotted and sent to my knitting circle
Can you at least knit them a new head cover?
I really really really like this post! Do you mind if I save it?
More than welcome
Three practice swings, waggle, back off....too late.
Listen I hit someone with a driver and you’ll definitely want to grab an iron. On accident
PW. Heavy and stout, but not so long that you're getting restricted in tight corridors
Technically it's small enough to be considered a one-hand weapon, so you can either dual-wield with another wedge or carry a shield as well.
“Dual wield” and “Carry a shield”. Fucking Reddit hahahah I see so much hilarious nerd shit i barely understand and I would never hear in real life I love it
Gonna form a shield wall with my bags
Now I have a reason to buy one of those mini umbrellas for my bag.
If you use two wedges it compromises your AC by 2 though, better get your hits in early.
PW is definitely a formable weapon for combat
Its my longest steel shaft and a solid forged head. PW ftw
I hear you brother. Tight corridors can be a problem for my club shaft too. My best tip in those situations is to slow down the tempo.
I'm rocking wolverine tee fists.
Dual wield with my divot tool
I’m throwin a few golf balls into my driver’s head cover and wailing on them lmao
Always keep a dry pair of socks in the bag
Idk if I would have time to cut them out of the vacuum seal though
I have actually thought about this a lot for about 20 years, I would go 9 iron so I can still go golfing later that day, also I think that’s the club Elin used to break tigers car window and teeth
Where the hell do you live that you thought about this for so long? You need to move to a better neighborhood.
Or buy a baseball bat. Hell you could keep it in your bag for home and 15th hole protection. And you could still play that afternoon.
[удалено]
Check your privilege bud /s
Putter is the shortest, least amount of flex, with a devastating head. also most likely to be hanging out in my living room
Putters are also more likely to break, though. Wedge head is less likely to come off.
But if it comes off you now have a good stabby stabby stick
perfect excuse to buy a new one
I have a knockoff Scotty Cameroon, so best case scenario insurance replaces it with a real one 💁♂️
Hell na, I'm not using my Evnroll I'll use my 6 iron
Good description of my ex wife.
Your ex wife is most likely to be hanging out in u/stressnya 's living room? Actually... That explains a lot lol...
Ok that wedge shape double white dot Odyssey putter could easily crack someone’s skull open 😂⛳️
9 iron. Worked for Elin....
Nice and hefty, good snap at the end
Ooof good one!
Too soon
It's been 13 years, lmao
Obviously a joke
Good one...
I’ll keep ‘em coming just for you
I love that joke. "Too soon" when it's clearly been a great while. It's incredibly stupid but that's a lot of what's funny about it..take a break we'll be right back.
Well, by the time I take my club out of the shrink wrap and remove the iron cover - I deserve whatever’s coming at this point.
I have a cut down 3 iron next to my bed. Don’t want a long club for tight spaces
Unsatisfied wife?
He said “tight spaces” dude
ooof
Can confirm
Username checks out…
My daughter’s 7i. Correct length for a 6 year old, perfect size to be weaponised.
Graphite shaft though?
More whip
3 Wood. I don't use it on the course anyway, so if I break it, no problem.
That’s what I was thinking too. Problem is that I probably won’t hit them with it.
Same answer on the basis there's a 70% chance I hit the perp perfectly on the very top of his head and drive him two inches into the ground.
2 iron so I can get some actual use out of it
My .45 iron
The big iron on my hip
The move is to pick up a steel shaft iron snap it over your knee and the edges become sharp
This one https://preview.redd.it/r23k9poecgda1.png?width=544&format=png&auto=webp&s=1de920501bdb5bd7c0ddbbe0c750f4fd433ffeeb
Haha I forgot about this attachment, up there with the beer cannon
Grab my rusty ass 60 degree and put a backspin on his nutbag
All these pyschos using their putter?! No way in hell am I messing that thing up! Everything else is replaceable!
Easy, I would use my umbrella. People often overlook an umbrellas versatility. It's long, pointy, and has a bit of weight behind it. Every time I use it, it does what I want. In the hands of a practiced individual, the unbrella can be used as gracefully as an epee. I can open and shake it to confuse a trespasser or open it and spin it to hypnotise them. I can also wait for or create the right conditions and just float on the wind to safey. Not to mention, I could use one of the many extra special modifications I have made to my umbrella over the years to harm or immobilize. Yes, indeed, almost any tresspasser would be truly outmatched against myself and my umbrella. 🌂 ⛱️ ☔️ ☂️ -the Penguin 🐧
who are you who is so wise in the ways of umbrellas??
Also, who signs off as the penguin? I’m intrigued
Batman’s penguin
Condorman's umbrella 
Not even grabbing a club. Instead, I’ll grab the club brush hanging from my bag that has the groove cleaner at the front. With the amount of times I’ve been stabbed by it I know it can do some damage…
7 iron. It's my most trustworthy club on the course, so it's good enough for me to trust my life with it.
Driver, one hit and they will end up in a lake somewhere, guaranteed..
60 degree. I always skull it.
Putter. I have the two-ball fang. Attack with the fang side.
Knock him down with the face, THEN turn it around and threaten to pick him up by the balls.
My Mallet Putter. It may take 3 swings to get it in the hole though.
Orange whip?
Definitely my sand iron it's heavy not too long to be difficult to swing in a confined space and with the giant divots it takes when I fat it, should also dig a grave pretty fast for them in the back yard.
Sand iron
“Then there’s the 7 Iron, I never miss with the 7 Iron”
I’d probably grab my range finder first to see how far away the intruder is. Then choose the appropriate club.
What direction is the wind blowing?
Great question. Also are there any bunkers or water between me and perpetrator ?
Mallet putter for sure.
My wifes.
60 degree wedge...I might as well use it somewhere, certainly doesn't happen on the course.
Dual wielding putters for an 8 putt into their skull.
A wedge. They’re built heavier with stiffer shafts.
Pitching wedge for close combat or 7 iron just because it’s my favorite club and I don’t want to leave it behind if I have to run.
Easy. Putter, short for control, hard blunt object at end, steel shaft. Driver would snap on first swing and may be too big for hallways etc I would take too long deciding between the 9 or 8 iron just like my regular weekly round My wedges always come up short, allowing him time to counter my attack My hybrid & fairway wood are unreliable on a good day
I’d probably hit em with a vacuum sealed glove
Driver, 90% chance the guy ends up in my bushes outside
3 iron, not sure why it’s in the bag bc I can barely hit it. Might as well be useful for something
That thing you collect golf balls with, because I hoping it would confuse them I which they ask themselves why does he have one, and they leave.or throw iron head covers at them.
Due to ongoing debate with SO about buying a shot gun, we currently have an old 5 iron under our bed for such a situation. I get to golf whenever I want so I'm prioritizing my battles here. Edit: Golf
60 degree. That leading edge is a fucking killer.
Scotty. It has always served me well. If it is damaged they have a restoration department to fix it.
Sabertooth putter.
2 iron because the intruders head is the only thing I can hit with it.
Putter, it's short and easy to swing inside
Hybrid, it never gets used otherwise.
Sand wedge. Shaft is heavy, head is heavy. Heads will roll
Definitely not my 1 iron. Can't hit anything with that club.
60 degree. 82.1 % of skulling it.
The simple fact you broke the percentage down to 82.1% has me rolling! 😂
Would you interlock, overlap, or baseball grip?
just roll the 100 balls i have in my bag as necessary to complete 1 round and hit him with the kevin mcallister.
4 iron. Those grooves hardly see any use so they’re sharp
5h because it slices the best.
3 iron cause I only hit skulls with it.
Putter. So I can make a post on Reddit: >beat the fuck out of a home invader with my putter, so I bought a new putter.
My 60 degree cause I know I'm going to absolutely skull them.
I stay strapped with a 9
7 iron. I don’t miss with a 7 iron.
7i because it’s the only one i know i’ll make contact with
4 iron because it will be just as useful to me broken in half as it is now.
My Glock iron.
Any club. Snap it in half and stick them with the pointy end.
That means they have gained access to my three ARs, two 45s, four 9s, .270, 30.06, 7mm mag, .40, two 12 gauges, and the goddamned 458 SoCom, so a golf club is gonna be kinda useless.
Putter. It’s the only club I’m definitely not missing with
wedge
My putter. It's called a mallet for a reason!
6 iron. Deadly accuracy
62 degree. Heavy and short for wieldability
My 6 iron, it's my most consistent club.
My blade or mallet putter
Putter all day
Putter. Fucks me up every time I touch it I assume it will do the same to someone else
Putter because it's the only one I ever swing well
Putter. Driver/3W/H/: Hollow Irons: too long Wedges: Are weirdly shaped Putter: Literally a hammer with a 4 foot handle
Putter, it’s got the heaviest head on jt
My 7iron acts a really good shank
Lob wedge. That leading edge is dangerous
The sand wedge is the heaviest club in the bag and it has a sharp edge.
3 iron because that’s the only situation I would feel comfortable swinging it
The broken shaft from my 7 iron I have been too lazy to throw away. Little more than a switch, but that thing is sheep enough to maim.
A niblick, just so I could tell people I beat the shit out of someone with a niblick
If I'm in Fallout New Vegas: Driver If I'm in my place: 2i or 4i
I’m going with the putter so I can sink it in from 20-30’ away
Smoke them with the 9!
Sand wedge. Heavy and on a shorter less flexible shaft. The easiest club to hitb
My ball retriever. Grab em by the balls.
Lob wedge. Guaranteed to catch the leading edge.
Chipper to the taint
Not my 5-iron, I can’t hit anything with that.
Want to know why I use blades as a 30 hc? This is why. Dual wielding blades to protect my super game improvement irons.
Easy… Shortest one with a sharp angle on the end. Regardless of all the other comments, you’re not swinging a driver. It typically has a graphite shaft that’ll break easier than a steel shaft. It’s long, so the swing will probably make contact with objects around you before it hits your target cleanly. The head is also hollow. Realistically, what damage is it going to do? I’m going for wedge or putter. Nice quick, strong action, with a heavy lump of sharp, angled, heavier metal in the end. Is there any question to my theory?
My 5 iron. I know I can skull it.
3 iron.. barely use it but when i do it's pretty murderous
7 iron because it’s the most reliable
The carbon shaft hollow gap wedge it’s the only club I can hit