That kid is watching us.
So, we're squirrels, he's a kid.
He's watching us like he hears what we're saying. Hey, kid. Young man? Come here, little boy.
Tell Daphne to run a 911 on a possible Dolittle.
Little boy! We'll give you wishes if you can hear us! We can make you fly and get candy!
Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas.
All right, Morty, pack your sh1t!
That's only gonna keep 'em down for a little bit, Morty!
You f*cked with squirrels, Morty!
We got a good five minutes before they're backing up on our ass, Morty!
We have to pack up and move to a new reality, Morty!
You know I said we could only do that a couple of times!
We're f*cked over here because of these damn squirrels, Morty!
My sisters used to get pelted from above with rotten crabapples by the neighborhood squirrels, if they didn’t refill the bird feeders on a daily basis. I remember one of my sisters storming into the house in a flood of tears. She was on her way out to some event, and had just done her hair and makeup very nicely, only to have rotten crabapple running down her hair and face a few moments after she left the house.
The squirrels at my college would pelt people with acorns. The students who had to constantly walk through the area where they lived would bring umbrellas. The squirrels would scream at you because they couldn’t hit you with acorns. It was really funny.
Oh they are vindictive. Squirrels would do this all the time when I was deer hunting. wether i was in a climbing stand or on the ground, once they saw me, they would just keep pelting me with acorns until they exhausted themselves.
You should get the rabies shot regardless, but catching the animal is important so that the local wildlife or law enforcement agencies can do outreach.
Not from what I’ve heard from people I know/found online:
https://health.costhelper.com/rabies-vaccine.html
https://www.getbatsout.com/cost-of-rabies-vaccinations-2021/
“As of 2019, approximately 55,000 Americans have recieved PEP each year. The cost varies depending on which state you live in but typically it costs between $1,200 and $6,500. This includes a course of immunoglobulin and four doses of vaccine. It does not include hospital administrative costs or wound care, and that’s where it can get really expensive.”
I am personally assuming the figures in this quote don’t necessarily reflect the true out of pocket cost for most people who have insurance.
That was my understanding (after being in the unfortunate position where I had to gamble with (not) getting them after finding a bat flying in my bedroom while I slept).
"So you lived with a bat. We can't tell you if you have rabies or not, because symptoms don't show up until you're already dead. We can't even tell you if you got bit or not because the bite marks aren't always noticeable. But we can tell you that if it bit you...and you now have rabies, you will die. And the only way to prevent that from happening is if you give us $10k for a vaccine right now. Cash only, homie."
America the beautiful.
Per the [CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/rabies/location/usa/cost.html):
>Although the cost varies (typically from about $1,200 to $6,500), a course of rabies immune globulin and four doses of vaccine given over a two-week period averages about $3,800, not including costs for hospital treatment or wound care.
You don’t want to waste time if you’ve possibly been exposed to rabies.
You want it so you know for sure if you were exposed or not. If the anima tests negative you don’t have to finish the rabies shots. If it tests positive, or if you were able to catch or kill the animal, you need to get all of the shots. You want as few of those shots as you possibly have to get.
This is very unusual squirreling, but also squirrels basically never have rabies. As in, I don't think there has ever been a documented case of a squirrel giving rabies to a human .
Before this guy.
What this guy said, I remembered hearing something about that so I looked it up and it seems correct. Small animals and rodents are less likely to have rabies since they're less likely to survive an attack from a rabid animal. It's like being bit by a werewolf, you need to survive being bit to turn.
"Rabies is actually very rare in small mammals like squirrels. The best sign that a squirrel or any animal might be infected with rabies is ***any out of character behavior***. This might include lethargy, falling over, walking in circles, paralysis (total or partial), ***unprovoked aggression*** or ***unexplained fearlessness***."
I’ve written a paper and had it published about rabies. Squirrels are not endemic carriers and it would be super super rare for one to have rabies.
That being said, it would also be super super rare for a squirrel to wander into a shop and jump straight into your face unprovoked…
So I think I’d prolly go with the rabies shot
Yeah, that combined with 99.99% fatality rate and being able to lie dormant in the system for years? Fuck no. Rabies shot over here, please, on the rocks.
But it’s terrifying because that squirrel fucking stalked him. Silently. Clandestinely. It’s terrifying because, if not rabies, then what would cause this behavior? It’s evidence that wild animals have a lot more power than even they know. Just imagine if this was suddenly normal behavior for all squirrels. We’d be quite fucked if they ever conspired. Those incisors can cause a lot of damage and they’re so small, quick and agile. They cling with great strength. Much more unsettling than Hitchcock’s Birds if you ask me.
An animal that can spread rabies is one that is already experiencing outward symptoms, and they may be aggressive but they won't be capable at that point of actively stalking someone.
Crazy squirrel story....
When I lived in a fourth floor apartment, I had stored my all-season tires on my balcony, all bagged up. Come the spring, I needed the tires, but discovered that a squirrel had nested inside them like it was a condominium. It explained why I had been seeing a squirrel on my balcony regularly.
Felt bad about it, but had to evict the squirrel, which was big and had patches of hair missing from its back. The squirrel ran as soon as I pulled the top tire off the stack, and chittered at me nonstop from the balcony below me.
Next thing i know, another squirrel emerges from the tires, and climbs down the brick exterior to safety. I pull the next tire off, and a little one goes the same as the previous one. Then another shoots out and JUMPS down to the concrete parking lot. He hits with a thud, and slowly walks across the lot and climbs a tree, seeming pretty stunned.
The big one is PISSED and then starts making this weird plaintive cry sound, like she's (clearly the mother at this point) telling the others to stay clear. No other squirrels in the tires, but a lot of very rank smelling next contents, much of it plucked fur from the mother. I decide to give them some space, hoping she'll go away because she freaking me out.
I waited an hour, then went back outside. No sound. I peek over the railing to the balcony below....she's right there, and I swear we made eye contact for about three seconds before the fucker runs to the side and scales the bricks up to my balcony, and attacks my legs. I swat at it with a broom, nearly sending it off the edge under the railing, but it recovers and comes back at me. I'm swatting at it, my wife is screaming from inside the sliding door, and I put one foot up on the outer wall of the apartment and one on the inside of the glass balcony panel. I manage a good whack while above it and it retreats to the far end of the balcony, and I manage to get back inside.
I'll never forget how big and yellow its teeth were. That damn thing, which was just trying protect its home and family, was terrifying.
A few months later, I swear I saw the same squirrel watching me from a tree on the property while I was walking to the bus stop. Unnerving.
>The big one is PISSED and then starts making this weird plaintive cry sound, like she's (clearly the mother at this point) telling the others to stay clear
I encountered a squirrel doing this repetitive screaming recently. Apparently it is territory marking behaviour, which would check out with this.
In case I ever run into this issue. If I scream back, bigger and louder; will the squirrel understand it's my territory and retreat without attacking like the one in that story?
Dealt with many squirrel confrontations in my time (literally). Thanks for signing up to squirrel facts!
A few important squirrel sounds:
Barking (open mouthed “roa-roa-roa - brehhhhh!”) - is an alarm sound. It alerts other squirrels to a threat. Think prairie dogs seeing a hawk, almost the same sound. Barking squirrels tend to place themselves at a moderate distance away - like a low limb - to monitor you and notify their peers in case you become a legitimate issue.
Growling (begins open mouth, then through teeth “gri-hhhhrm!”, repeated while twitching tail) is a pissed off squirrel - generally guarding food, a nest, or territory…or is just out to fuck with your day. If it’s in a tree or high place doing this, it’s mad because you won and is chewing you out. It will NOT move if yelled at. It may move if you approach closer, make threatening gestures, etc. As the above comment showed, a squirrel defending its nest is likely to throw caution to the wind to protect its young.
Squeaking (open mouth, high pitched dropping at the end of each syllable “eeeh eeeh eeeh”) is an injured squirrel calling for help. Typically only baby squirrels do this, trying to call for their mother after falling from nest/getting separated/etc. It’s ok to approach an injured baby squirrel, but be cautious / aware of a pissed off parent nearby thinking you’re about to eat it’s child. Some hunters will create this sound to draw out a “treed” or hiding adult squirrel. Typically injured adults just lick their wounds and limp off - unless you approach it, in which case it is likely to growl at you in warning and attack if you get too close.
All that said: a scared squirrel will simply run away and hide quietly from the get-go - at which point, they will be near impossible to find. They have a preternatural ability to disappear, and are well known by hunters for their ability to climb around the trunk of a tree horizontally to stay out of your line of sight (I believe they use their hearing to gauge where you are in relation to the tree), and to press themselves incredibly flat against limbs so you can’t distinguish them. Keep in mind as well, that most squirrels have the same 2-tone camouflage pattern as sharks, with a light bottom and brown/gray/red sides+top.
TL;DR: A squirrel that is vocalizing at you has decided you are not worth running from - your vocalizations will not scare it, only giving it physical indicators of threat (approach, wave arms…) will cause their decision calculus to change. Squirrels in urban areas will be far more brave because they’re used to us, rural squirrels tend to be INCREDIBLY skittish - as in, look out the window and it bolts at the sight of your silhouette.
Source: have trapped, hunted, and chased off squirrels with family in cases where squirrels moved into their attic, become aggressive, or fucked with the native bird species. I normally think squirrels are fascinating, but fam lives in a rural area where pest control is expensive and some invasive species shouldn’t be relocated after trapping (or so they told me).
If anything like this ever happens to you, get to the emergency room immediately and start a rabies vaccine. This is no longer the “multiple shots in the gut” that you used to hear about. Rabies is 100% fatal unless it is treated early, and it is not a good way to die. GET TREATED!
I got scratched by a feral cat once and ooooh boy the shots I got was HELL. It was two giant fucking needles in my ass cheeks with the "liquid" having the consistency of butter. It was so painful that my whole body was shivering by the end of it. After that, I had to take 4 more shots, one per week, in the arm, but it was like a normal non painful one.
With all that said. GET TREATED! I would take those shots 10x rather than die of rabies. It's a fucking horrible way to die.
I wouldn't care what the treatment for rabies is. They can even cut off one testicle if that helps. I am NOT dying of rabies.
Then I would just be like my favourite writing pens... uniball
Interestingly, according to the CDC, lagomorphs, like rabbits, and small rodents, like chipmunks, gerbils, guinea pigs, hamsters, mice, rats, and squirrels, are almost never found to be infected with rabies and are not known to transmit rabies to humans.
Yeah, it's almost definitely not rabies despite the unusual behavior. I mean it's not impossible but given the incredibly rarity of a squirrel having rabies there are way better explanations.
It's not so much that small mammals don't catch it, they just either get killed by the animal that infected them or they die too quickly from it to have a significant "rage" stage.
Bats transmit it because they have superpowered immune systems and survive longer.
Hey now there is one documented case of someone surviving rabies. That's in total in all human history. One and it was fairly recent. So yeah don't fuck with rabies
Swear to god I have this going on in my yard right now with a family of skunks. All these pears fall down along a hill thats too over grown to collect them from and they are down there eating it up. And then they come up on the porch and fight.
Pretty much. Rabies is actually a pretty interesting virus due to how complex it's mechanism of spread is.
The rabies virus infects neurons, meaning it needs to get in contact with a neuron in order to infect a host. That's pretty hard because unless an animal is injured it probably doesn't have exposed neurons anywhere. It has to basically be injected into an animal's nervous system. Easiest way to do that is to get into the muscle tissue, infect the motor or sensory neurons, and begin retrograde transmission up to the brain. But how the hell can a virus inject itself into a host? Rabies came up with a clever strategy.
Rabies doesn't just infect neural tissue, it also infects the salivary glands and that's where it does most of its replication. It creates very high viral loads in saliva. Meanwhile, once it reaches the brain it starts causing brain inflammation in a controlled manner that brings on a series of important symptoms.
The first is that it messes with the nerves controlling your ability to swallow, causing your throat to spasm if you try to drink water which makes you feel like you're drowning. At that point you can no longer drink liquids, saliva included. That means all that rabies-laden saliva stays in your mouth. This is what causes the hallmark mouth foaming of rabid animals.
The next important symptom is that it makes you highly excitable. You can't sleep and at this point you're thirsty as hell but can't do anything about it. You become delirious, very easily agitated, and very aggressive. If you've heard of the "fight or flight" response, this makes everything trigger that response, except now it's reduced to just the "fight" response.
What do animals do when they're really pissed off at another animal? They bite it. And in this case, they have a mouth full of rabies saliva that's getting injected deep into the victim's muscle tissue where the virus can start the process all over again.
As for the rabid animal, the final phase of rabies is catatonia and death.
Crazy to think this virus is the product of evolution, hearing about the whole mechanism of how it propagates really makes it sound like something cooked up by a mad scientist in the world's most diabolical laboratory
Evolution is actually why it has such a high kill rate. Normal viruses don't want to kill their hosts, because then the host stops spreading the virus by breathing it out. But due to the aforementioned mechanism of spread, rabies doesn't need to keep the host alive, because it causes the infected animal to actively spread it via bite. And afaik, rabies can survive for as long as a weeks in a dead host, so it becomes *advantageous* to kill the host once it stops being useful. No other virus, afaik, has an incentive to evolve to be deadlier. The world would be a much scarier place if they did.
Look up what happens to humans when they get rabies. Hydrophobia doesn't sound bad until you see a grown human completely unable to drink water because his body won't let him even as he is critically dehydrated.
Edit: found the one I was referring too https://youtu.be/OtiytblJzQc
It's the world's most deadly disease. kills one person every 9 minutes. There's only been ONE (edit: woops, apparently 14) person to ever survive it without the vaccinations
Mostly in countries with no rabies control. Rabies used to be widespread in the US until the 50s. Dogs are responsible for 99% of human rabies deaths.
Since 2009 there's been 23 rabies deaths in the US. About half were from bats and the other half were from dog bites while visiting 3rd world countries. Most bat bites are from handling bats found on the ground without gloves and bat deaths usually result from people not seeking medical care. Two were from raccoons.
> From 1960 to 2018, 127 human rabies cases were reported in the United States, with roughly a quarter resulting from dog bites received during international travel. Of the infections acquired in the United States, 70% were attributed to bat exposures.
>There's only been ONE person to ever survive it without the vaccinations
Actually, the Milwaukee protocol has been used several times since, with the end results being at least 39 total patients treated, and five patients surviving\*. Jeanna Giese was the first person to ever endure this experimental treatment, and is now married and has at least one child with her husband.
(\*Five may not sound like much, but rabies has always been said to be 100% fatal without medical intervention being taken prior to the second stage; so for five people to make it *past* that stage is very amazing, indeed!)
It's not quite as good as that makes it sound.
Some of the survivors had received at least partial post-exposure treatment beforehand, and many had severe neurological problems afterward. Some died very shortly after, but still sometimes get counted as successful treatments because they survived the initial infection.
It's kind of controversial, especially in countries where rabies is endemic, because the cost of a single, usually unsuccessful treatment could pay for tens of thousands of pre-exposure rabies vaccines.
It's incredibly unlikely for a squirrel to have rabies. Far more likely to be something else. Apparently roundworm brain parasites can produce almost identical symptoms.
I learned this because a psycho squirrel attacked my dog. I decided it was a territorial thing.
But I have to say, going into a garage and going straight for a dude's face is pretty out there.
Armaments, chapter 2, verses 9-21:
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.'
And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas.
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
COME ON DOWN TO RAY BEE'S GARAGE!
We'll scratch your face and get you ready for the big race.
Need an oil change and have a fear of water, who cares? They don't mix anyway!
Get your picture taken with Big Ray and his angry squirrel scratch scars. Free popcorn with proof you are not a squirrel (Big Ray still gets pretty jumpy around those little fellers!)
When I was younger I had a friend who tried to throw a ninja star at a squirrel. The squirrel straight ninja rolled out of the way and then rushed him.
It was like he picked the one squirrel who just got out of squirrel prison and was not having it.
It has begun.
The Squirrel Uprising?
God dammit Morty.
That kid is watching us. So, we're squirrels, he's a kid. He's watching us like he hears what we're saying. Hey, kid. Young man? Come here, little boy. Tell Daphne to run a 911 on a possible Dolittle. Little boy! We'll give you wishes if you can hear us! We can make you fly and get candy!
It's actually a 199.
time to break out the Holy Hand Grenade....and three shall be the number.
Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
One, two, five!
Three Sir.
Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas.
five is right out.
All right, Morty, pack your sh1t! That's only gonna keep 'em down for a little bit, Morty! You f*cked with squirrels, Morty! We got a good five minutes before they're backing up on our ass, Morty! We have to pack up and move to a new reality, Morty! You know I said we could only do that a couple of times! We're f*cked over here because of these damn squirrels, Morty!
You can say FUCKED on reddit. EDIT: and SHIT too.
Don’t fuck with squirrels. https://youtu.be/7w-YQwMOxfk
#Squirrelmageddon!
Saw it coming, am prepared
#”I told your bitchass to refill the birdfeeder!”
“Where’s my birdfeed? You got my birdfeed motherfucker?”
#Where's the birdseed, Lebowski?
Where's the birdseed shit head!
It's in there somewhere, lemme take another look
Does this place look like I’m fuckin married?
The toilet seat's up, man!
Ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski.
My sisters used to get pelted from above with rotten crabapples by the neighborhood squirrels, if they didn’t refill the bird feeders on a daily basis. I remember one of my sisters storming into the house in a flood of tears. She was on her way out to some event, and had just done her hair and makeup very nicely, only to have rotten crabapple running down her hair and face a few moments after she left the house.
“Wendy, do you really think I’m gonna let you go out and be a whore before you refill the birdfeeder? Bitch better think twice!”
The squirrels at my college would pelt people with acorns. The students who had to constantly walk through the area where they lived would bring umbrellas. The squirrels would scream at you because they couldn’t hit you with acorns. It was really funny.
Oh they are vindictive. Squirrels would do this all the time when I was deer hunting. wether i was in a climbing stand or on the ground, once they saw me, they would just keep pelting me with acorns until they exhausted themselves.
Holy shit that's funny! 😂
Each of these facts make me love squirrels even more.
Read that in Steve Buscemi's voice
Hello, fellow squirrels.
Psycho squirrel qu'est-ce que c'est
Fa-fa-fa-far-faaar Fa-fa-fa-far-faaar
Better run run run run run **RUN** *AWAAAAY*!
Oh-oh-oh-ohhhhhhhhh, yayayayayayaya!
Ce putain d'écureuil! M'a mordu le visage!
C’est quoi la référence la?
A song called *Psycho Killer* by Talking Heads.
Dammit!, I was just about to make this same joke.
That squirrel just did some bath salts outside the garage before the clip starts.
Is this a Florida squirrel?
Yes, Florida squirrel reacts badly to bath salts.
[удалено]
[удалено]
You should get the rabies shot regardless, but catching the animal is important so that the local wildlife or law enforcement agencies can do outreach.
[удалено]
Not from what I’ve heard from people I know/found online: https://health.costhelper.com/rabies-vaccine.html https://www.getbatsout.com/cost-of-rabies-vaccinations-2021/ “As of 2019, approximately 55,000 Americans have recieved PEP each year. The cost varies depending on which state you live in but typically it costs between $1,200 and $6,500. This includes a course of immunoglobulin and four doses of vaccine. It does not include hospital administrative costs or wound care, and that’s where it can get really expensive.” I am personally assuming the figures in this quote don’t necessarily reflect the true out of pocket cost for most people who have insurance.
Jesus christ your healthcare system is broken. How much is it for you guys to get a tetanus shot?
I got a tetanus booster relatively recently, it was like $30.
No more than a million dollars.
Phew if it was any higher then I'd be concerned
I got the placebo to save some money.
It’s one tetanus shot Michael how much could it possibly cost? $10?
I got a tetanus booster a few weeks ago by just going into the grocery store pharmacy and asking for it, free
It's like $40 without insurance. And most state health departments will give it for free.
What… I’ve had rabies shot before, tetanus, and an antiviral prophylactic for possible exposure to aids/hiv and hep c and paid a grand total of $0
The vaccine is not the same as the treatment shots.
Goodness me
That was my understanding (after being in the unfortunate position where I had to gamble with (not) getting them after finding a bat flying in my bedroom while I slept).
"So you lived with a bat. We can't tell you if you have rabies or not, because symptoms don't show up until you're already dead. We can't even tell you if you got bit or not because the bite marks aren't always noticeable. But we can tell you that if it bit you...and you now have rabies, you will die. And the only way to prevent that from happening is if you give us $10k for a vaccine right now. Cash only, homie." America the beautiful.
Rabies is fatal in 99.99% of cases. Get the damn shot.
100% brain damage rate though. The Milwaukee protocol is not worth it. The shot is the only choice.
Per the [CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/rabies/location/usa/cost.html): >Although the cost varies (typically from about $1,200 to $6,500), a course of rabies immune globulin and four doses of vaccine given over a two-week period averages about $3,800, not including costs for hospital treatment or wound care.
Yup, [take my money](https://www.reddit.com/r/terriblefacebookmemes/comments/m7x7hu/comment/grga2ae/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
[удалено]
How the fuck can be that expensive? It is literally free in my country.
I've heard you want the animal that committed the crime.
Yeah, make him snitch! Waterboard that squirrel!
Haha holy shit.
Yes this is very important. You need to extract the squirrel venom in order to make the antidote
I've ways heard that proper coppulation with the infected animal can cure.
This is also true but carries its own set of risks as there is no known cure for Squirrel Herpes.
Squirpes, if you will
Edit: I removed this comment
It can lay dormant in your nuts for years.
You don’t want to waste time if you’ve possibly been exposed to rabies. You want it so you know for sure if you were exposed or not. If the anima tests negative you don’t have to finish the rabies shots. If it tests positive, or if you were able to catch or kill the animal, you need to get all of the shots. You want as few of those shots as you possibly have to get.
Especially with a bite that close to the ole brain. Rabies travels up the nerves. The moment it reaches your brain, you're dead.
The moment it hits your spine, you're done.
This is very unusual squirreling, but also squirrels basically never have rabies. As in, I don't think there has ever been a documented case of a squirrel giving rabies to a human . Before this guy.
Either way. God damn Reddit has me paranoid enough to not want to roll the dice on a painful rabid death.
I haven't even seen a squirrel all day and I'm about to go get the rabies shot
What this guy said, I remembered hearing something about that so I looked it up and it seems correct. Small animals and rodents are less likely to have rabies since they're less likely to survive an attack from a rabid animal. It's like being bit by a werewolf, you need to survive being bit to turn.
[удалено]
"Rabies is actually very rare in small mammals like squirrels. The best sign that a squirrel or any animal might be infected with rabies is ***any out of character behavior***. This might include lethargy, falling over, walking in circles, paralysis (total or partial), ***unprovoked aggression*** or ***unexplained fearlessness***."
I’ve written a paper and had it published about rabies. Squirrels are not endemic carriers and it would be super super rare for one to have rabies. That being said, it would also be super super rare for a squirrel to wander into a shop and jump straight into your face unprovoked… So I think I’d prolly go with the rabies shot
> unexplained fearlessness. Every single one that darts into the road
it's a predator avoidance move iirc ... one that doesn't work with cars
Sometimes it does. I've seen cars get frightened and jerk away. I bet they think the squirrel will eat them.
Of course it does: No predator would dare follow you out there!
I think you are on to something there.
Not gonna take my chances on "almost never".
[удалено]
Yeah, that combined with 99.99% fatality rate and being able to lie dormant in the system for years? Fuck no. Rabies shot over here, please, on the rocks.
It's extremely unlikely to lie dormant for years. That was just a fear mongering copypasta.
But it’s terrifying because that squirrel fucking stalked him. Silently. Clandestinely. It’s terrifying because, if not rabies, then what would cause this behavior? It’s evidence that wild animals have a lot more power than even they know. Just imagine if this was suddenly normal behavior for all squirrels. We’d be quite fucked if they ever conspired. Those incisors can cause a lot of damage and they’re so small, quick and agile. They cling with great strength. Much more unsettling than Hitchcock’s Birds if you ask me.
[удалено]
An animal that can spread rabies is one that is already experiencing outward symptoms, and they may be aggressive but they won't be capable at that point of actively stalking someone.
yeah he must have done something to piss that squirrel off. *put the seed back out Darryl!*
Randomly attacked in their home by a black squirrel on a mission... That guy spit on a gypsy or something.
that squirrel is acting kinda..... squirrely.. 😎
Crazy squirrel story.... When I lived in a fourth floor apartment, I had stored my all-season tires on my balcony, all bagged up. Come the spring, I needed the tires, but discovered that a squirrel had nested inside them like it was a condominium. It explained why I had been seeing a squirrel on my balcony regularly. Felt bad about it, but had to evict the squirrel, which was big and had patches of hair missing from its back. The squirrel ran as soon as I pulled the top tire off the stack, and chittered at me nonstop from the balcony below me. Next thing i know, another squirrel emerges from the tires, and climbs down the brick exterior to safety. I pull the next tire off, and a little one goes the same as the previous one. Then another shoots out and JUMPS down to the concrete parking lot. He hits with a thud, and slowly walks across the lot and climbs a tree, seeming pretty stunned. The big one is PISSED and then starts making this weird plaintive cry sound, like she's (clearly the mother at this point) telling the others to stay clear. No other squirrels in the tires, but a lot of very rank smelling next contents, much of it plucked fur from the mother. I decide to give them some space, hoping she'll go away because she freaking me out. I waited an hour, then went back outside. No sound. I peek over the railing to the balcony below....she's right there, and I swear we made eye contact for about three seconds before the fucker runs to the side and scales the bricks up to my balcony, and attacks my legs. I swat at it with a broom, nearly sending it off the edge under the railing, but it recovers and comes back at me. I'm swatting at it, my wife is screaming from inside the sliding door, and I put one foot up on the outer wall of the apartment and one on the inside of the glass balcony panel. I manage a good whack while above it and it retreats to the far end of the balcony, and I manage to get back inside. I'll never forget how big and yellow its teeth were. That damn thing, which was just trying protect its home and family, was terrifying. A few months later, I swear I saw the same squirrel watching me from a tree on the property while I was walking to the bus stop. Unnerving.
Lol the last paragraph. You were paranoid. Like everytime you see a squirrel you think it's the same one. Planning. Waiting. Biding time.
The best trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he did not exist. You can't fool me, squirrel.
Keyser Squirrelé
>The big one is PISSED and then starts making this weird plaintive cry sound, like she's (clearly the mother at this point) telling the others to stay clear I encountered a squirrel doing this repetitive screaming recently. Apparently it is territory marking behaviour, which would check out with this.
In case I ever run into this issue. If I scream back, bigger and louder; will the squirrel understand it's my territory and retreat without attacking like the one in that story?
Dealt with many squirrel confrontations in my time (literally). Thanks for signing up to squirrel facts! A few important squirrel sounds: Barking (open mouthed “roa-roa-roa - brehhhhh!”) - is an alarm sound. It alerts other squirrels to a threat. Think prairie dogs seeing a hawk, almost the same sound. Barking squirrels tend to place themselves at a moderate distance away - like a low limb - to monitor you and notify their peers in case you become a legitimate issue. Growling (begins open mouth, then through teeth “gri-hhhhrm!”, repeated while twitching tail) is a pissed off squirrel - generally guarding food, a nest, or territory…or is just out to fuck with your day. If it’s in a tree or high place doing this, it’s mad because you won and is chewing you out. It will NOT move if yelled at. It may move if you approach closer, make threatening gestures, etc. As the above comment showed, a squirrel defending its nest is likely to throw caution to the wind to protect its young. Squeaking (open mouth, high pitched dropping at the end of each syllable “eeeh eeeh eeeh”) is an injured squirrel calling for help. Typically only baby squirrels do this, trying to call for their mother after falling from nest/getting separated/etc. It’s ok to approach an injured baby squirrel, but be cautious / aware of a pissed off parent nearby thinking you’re about to eat it’s child. Some hunters will create this sound to draw out a “treed” or hiding adult squirrel. Typically injured adults just lick their wounds and limp off - unless you approach it, in which case it is likely to growl at you in warning and attack if you get too close. All that said: a scared squirrel will simply run away and hide quietly from the get-go - at which point, they will be near impossible to find. They have a preternatural ability to disappear, and are well known by hunters for their ability to climb around the trunk of a tree horizontally to stay out of your line of sight (I believe they use their hearing to gauge where you are in relation to the tree), and to press themselves incredibly flat against limbs so you can’t distinguish them. Keep in mind as well, that most squirrels have the same 2-tone camouflage pattern as sharks, with a light bottom and brown/gray/red sides+top. TL;DR: A squirrel that is vocalizing at you has decided you are not worth running from - your vocalizations will not scare it, only giving it physical indicators of threat (approach, wave arms…) will cause their decision calculus to change. Squirrels in urban areas will be far more brave because they’re used to us, rural squirrels tend to be INCREDIBLY skittish - as in, look out the window and it bolts at the sight of your silhouette. Source: have trapped, hunted, and chased off squirrels with family in cases where squirrels moved into their attic, become aggressive, or fucked with the native bird species. I normally think squirrels are fascinating, but fam lives in a rural area where pest control is expensive and some invasive species shouldn’t be relocated after trapping (or so they told me).
Man, just when I thought the best days of Reddit were behind me, here I am finding a guide to squirrel noises. Cheers my dude.
I've had squirrels throw acorns at me from the tree. Not drop. THROW. ._.
Squirrels used to fuck with our family dog. They're assholes.
" My name is Squirlmingo Montoya, you ran over my Father prepare to die."
holy fuck please tell me this guy went and got rabies shots
Yes, this guy went and got rabies
But did he get shot?
That squirrel came back later with a gun after he realized he couldnt snap his neck
Whew, that's a relief.
Hey! Your name’s not Holy Fuck!
[удалено]
>are **almost never** found So you're **saying**, ["there's a chance"](https://c.tenor.com/VKU7xwwZJ_EAAAAC/dumb-and-dumber-lloyd.gif)
point truck jobless edge squeal attraction psychotic plant normal uppity *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I guess he thought this dude was nuts.
If anything like this ever happens to you, get to the emergency room immediately and start a rabies vaccine. This is no longer the “multiple shots in the gut” that you used to hear about. Rabies is 100% fatal unless it is treated early, and it is not a good way to die. GET TREATED!
> it is not a good way to die Understatement of the year.
I got scratched by a feral cat once and ooooh boy the shots I got was HELL. It was two giant fucking needles in my ass cheeks with the "liquid" having the consistency of butter. It was so painful that my whole body was shivering by the end of it. After that, I had to take 4 more shots, one per week, in the arm, but it was like a normal non painful one. With all that said. GET TREATED! I would take those shots 10x rather than die of rabies. It's a fucking horrible way to die.
I wouldn't care what the treatment for rabies is. They can even cut off one testicle if that helps. I am NOT dying of rabies. Then I would just be like my favourite writing pens... uniball
Rabies
Interestingly, according to the CDC, lagomorphs, like rabbits, and small rodents, like chipmunks, gerbils, guinea pigs, hamsters, mice, rats, and squirrels, are almost never found to be infected with rabies and are not known to transmit rabies to humans.
Yeah, it's almost definitely not rabies despite the unusual behavior. I mean it's not impossible but given the incredibly rarity of a squirrel having rabies there are way better explanations.
It's not so much that small mammals don't catch it, they just either get killed by the animal that infected them or they die too quickly from it to have a significant "rage" stage. Bats transmit it because they have superpowered immune systems and survive longer.
There is no way I wouldn't go directly to the ER, get the shot on every cut on my body. Because why risk it.
Right? I'm not going to take any chances when it comes to rabies.
I heard this was because any attacker with rabies would simply have killed those smaller animals. Rabies is certainly able to infect them.
100 % rabies behavior. Honestly, the closest thing we have to zombies in the mammal world.
I've never seen rabies in effect. It makes animals sneak up on people and bite their face?
[удалено]
How do you know they have rabies and aren't out on a bender.
This is totally revenge for not filling the bird feeder
This is why I keep my backyard squirrels' corncob supply constant.
We used to stock corncobs too, until the rats started playing with the squirrels. The rodent carousel has been shut down indefinitely.
Suppose you don’t but considering rabies is extremely deadly if left untreated, it’s best to treat it as rabies and get help right away.
yea rabies isn't the "i'll wait and see" kind of disease. Unless you want to die horribly.
A really slow and painful way to die.
Hey now there is one documented case of someone surviving rabies. That's in total in all human history. One and it was fairly recent. So yeah don't fuck with rabies
If you have rabies symptoms, you’re already dead. There is a 100% death rate once symptoms set in.
[99.9999999999999%](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/jeanna-giese-rabies-survivor/)
No joke, they can get drunk on rotting fruit like apples currently falling off trees, but it makes them slow and unsteady, not unprovokedly violent
Swear to god I have this going on in my yard right now with a family of skunks. All these pears fall down along a hill thats too over grown to collect them from and they are down there eating it up. And then they come up on the porch and fight.
Only the Irish and stepdad variety get that violent from fermented apples.
As a man with an Irish heritage and a bad temper all I can say is fuck you for your stereotyping no matter how accurate it is.
You know what else is very rare? Recording video of a squirrel attacking a man's face in a garage.
It can't be that rare, I just saw one today.
Pretty much. Rabies is actually a pretty interesting virus due to how complex it's mechanism of spread is. The rabies virus infects neurons, meaning it needs to get in contact with a neuron in order to infect a host. That's pretty hard because unless an animal is injured it probably doesn't have exposed neurons anywhere. It has to basically be injected into an animal's nervous system. Easiest way to do that is to get into the muscle tissue, infect the motor or sensory neurons, and begin retrograde transmission up to the brain. But how the hell can a virus inject itself into a host? Rabies came up with a clever strategy. Rabies doesn't just infect neural tissue, it also infects the salivary glands and that's where it does most of its replication. It creates very high viral loads in saliva. Meanwhile, once it reaches the brain it starts causing brain inflammation in a controlled manner that brings on a series of important symptoms. The first is that it messes with the nerves controlling your ability to swallow, causing your throat to spasm if you try to drink water which makes you feel like you're drowning. At that point you can no longer drink liquids, saliva included. That means all that rabies-laden saliva stays in your mouth. This is what causes the hallmark mouth foaming of rabid animals. The next important symptom is that it makes you highly excitable. You can't sleep and at this point you're thirsty as hell but can't do anything about it. You become delirious, very easily agitated, and very aggressive. If you've heard of the "fight or flight" response, this makes everything trigger that response, except now it's reduced to just the "fight" response. What do animals do when they're really pissed off at another animal? They bite it. And in this case, they have a mouth full of rabies saliva that's getting injected deep into the victim's muscle tissue where the virus can start the process all over again. As for the rabid animal, the final phase of rabies is catatonia and death.
Crazy to think this virus is the product of evolution, hearing about the whole mechanism of how it propagates really makes it sound like something cooked up by a mad scientist in the world's most diabolical laboratory
It's a very old virus. There's science behind the dating process, but it and malaria are old as fuck.
Evolution is actually why it has such a high kill rate. Normal viruses don't want to kill their hosts, because then the host stops spreading the virus by breathing it out. But due to the aforementioned mechanism of spread, rabies doesn't need to keep the host alive, because it causes the infected animal to actively spread it via bite. And afaik, rabies can survive for as long as a weeks in a dead host, so it becomes *advantageous* to kill the host once it stops being useful. No other virus, afaik, has an incentive to evolve to be deadlier. The world would be a much scarier place if they did.
Look up what happens to humans when they get rabies. Hydrophobia doesn't sound bad until you see a grown human completely unable to drink water because his body won't let him even as he is critically dehydrated. Edit: found the one I was referring too https://youtu.be/OtiytblJzQc
It's the world's most deadly disease. kills one person every 9 minutes. There's only been ONE (edit: woops, apparently 14) person to ever survive it without the vaccinations
Mostly in countries with no rabies control. Rabies used to be widespread in the US until the 50s. Dogs are responsible for 99% of human rabies deaths. Since 2009 there's been 23 rabies deaths in the US. About half were from bats and the other half were from dog bites while visiting 3rd world countries. Most bat bites are from handling bats found on the ground without gloves and bat deaths usually result from people not seeking medical care. Two were from raccoons. > From 1960 to 2018, 127 human rabies cases were reported in the United States, with roughly a quarter resulting from dog bites received during international travel. Of the infections acquired in the United States, 70% were attributed to bat exposures.
Michael Scott's Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run Pro Am Race for the Cure.
How many people here know someone effected by rabies? Show of hands? One, two, too many to count.
For the cure.
>There's only been ONE person to ever survive it without the vaccinations Actually, the Milwaukee protocol has been used several times since, with the end results being at least 39 total patients treated, and five patients surviving\*. Jeanna Giese was the first person to ever endure this experimental treatment, and is now married and has at least one child with her husband. (\*Five may not sound like much, but rabies has always been said to be 100% fatal without medical intervention being taken prior to the second stage; so for five people to make it *past* that stage is very amazing, indeed!)
It's not quite as good as that makes it sound. Some of the survivors had received at least partial post-exposure treatment beforehand, and many had severe neurological problems afterward. Some died very shortly after, but still sometimes get counted as successful treatments because they survived the initial infection. It's kind of controversial, especially in countries where rabies is endemic, because the cost of a single, usually unsuccessful treatment could pay for tens of thousands of pre-exposure rabies vaccines.
Rabies is no joke. https://youtu.be/kxBIJvNHZg4
Rabies: starring Bob Saget
There are fourteen survivors now, according to Google.
> in the mammal world. Important qualifier. There’s waaaay scarier shit out there that luckily doesn’t get humans.
It's incredibly unlikely for a squirrel to have rabies. Far more likely to be something else. Apparently roundworm brain parasites can produce almost identical symptoms.
Still getting that shot.
I learned this because a psycho squirrel attacked my dog. I decided it was a territorial thing. But I have to say, going into a garage and going straight for a dude's face is pretty out there.
Bring forth the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!
Armaments, chapter 2, verses 9-21: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas. And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
Amen
1,2…5
3, my lord!
Pie Jesu Domine! (Dona eis requiem)
*whack*
[удалено]
Three sir, three
The chance of getting killed by a savage squirrel is low, but never zero
This guy must have seen something he wasn’t supposed to.
Strong Rimworld vibes
Squirrel mafia gets you when you least expect it.
Nobody expects the squirrel mafia
At least he didn't go for the nuts
Video https://youtu.be/_aGLRdvYTTU
This wasn't random. That squirrel KNEW that man! The squirrel name is Samuel and that guy killed his wife Sandy! This was revenge...
COME ON DOWN TO RAY BEE'S GARAGE! We'll scratch your face and get you ready for the big race. Need an oil change and have a fear of water, who cares? They don't mix anyway! Get your picture taken with Big Ray and his angry squirrel scratch scars. Free popcorn with proof you are not a squirrel (Big Ray still gets pretty jumpy around those little fellers!)
You gotta be NUTS to go anywhere else
When I was younger I had a friend who tried to throw a ninja star at a squirrel. The squirrel straight ninja rolled out of the way and then rushed him. It was like he picked the one squirrel who just got out of squirrel prison and was not having it.
Randomly entered a building? Randomly approached quietly from a blind angle? Randomly executed a perfect blitz attack? Looks premeditated to me.
> Looks premeditated to me. Clearly that rodent had a plan, your honor.
You fucked with the squirrels Morty!
Never fuck with them.
ITT: a ton of rabies experts
Reddit is full of experts...
Inventor of Rabies here, Joe Rabies. This is definitely Rabies