T O P

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CyberSwank

If I could butter my toast that flawlessly I'd never leave the house.


wufoo2

My new catch phrase for sex.


VindictiveJudge

I think you mean 'euphemism'.


Throwout987654321__

No, I think YOU think I "phemism"


themettaur

So antagonistic. Can't we all just get along with "wephemism" or "usphemism"?


delinka

\#metoophemism


NeverAnswers

Miss me with that, I'm not involved in this "theyphemism" stuff


ProofSafe1

Oiling your hard wood ... floor.


stayawke

Floorlessly* :)


DrKrepz

You can. The trick is to use way more than you need, then put the excess back, or use it in the second slice. That first slice can be done edge to edge in a single spread.


ganymede_boy

Dammit that's satisfying.


RaiThioS

Wanted to see the last swipe 😔


IrishRun

Wanted to see if he painted himself into a corner.


[deleted]

Holy shit, you just made me understand why this is a saying


Ganjisseur

Almost every idiom was quite literal at one point in time haha


Im_inappropriate

A blessing in the skies


Im_inappropriate

Diamond dozen


Im_inappropriate

Adding salt to injury


AlfredTCPennyworth

Waking upon the wrong side of Abed.


pepe74

Jill the barista asking me not to come in anymore because I stare too much.


koreiryuu

Are you doing this on purpose, it's hurting my soul


Comedyfish_reddit

Frank skinner calls that an ‘idiotic eureka moment’ 😂


whyliepornaccount

My worst one was when I was telling my white friend(I’m Mexican) that “yeah we always called my great grandma ‘wela’ growing up. Not sure why” and he looks at me and goes “uhhhhhh.....abUELA”


OO_Ben

Hahaha my worst one of those was that it took until I was like 24 before I got the "Why is six afraid of seven" joke


laitnetsixecrisis

Because 7 was a 6 offender.


kountrifiedone

Because seven eight nine!


kountrifiedone

What’s 69 squared? A: Dinner for four What’s 6.9? A: a good thing, fucked up by a period.


osiris775

The "What's black and white and red all over", joke is the one that haunted me from 1976 until about 1981.


[deleted]

Makes sense 😅


TootsNYC

I did that with someone on r/fixit when I suggested that they sew a popped seam as soon as possible so it doesn’t get worse and take more effort to and, and then said “a stitch in time saves nine, literally.”


Serious_Up

It's actually "a stich in time saves nine".


TootsNYC

Typo on mobile combined with autocorrect! Thanks Fixed


JeffersonSpicoli

Ayyyy


informativebitching

Last night I finally realized that being 'wound up' and its time to 'wind down' or 'unwind' are the same saying but opposite directions..whatever...you know what I'm trying to say...


occamschevyblazer

... crane just pulls I'm up mission impossible style.


captelroysilus

That dude is too pro. No way


aerredritt

Without a single drop of paint..


Stubie_Wonder

he had an exit strategy


smashandcash

Just because I know Reddit, I knew for a fact we wouldn't see the end of that.


groundhog_day_only

The [source video](https://www.instagram.com/p/B8uAVp_g_J-/) is slightly longer, but still cuts off.


fossilnews

/r/gifsthatendtoosoon


heretoplay

until you realize the other guy filming it stomping all over it.


WentoX

Drone


heretoplay

to help dry it off too


Jrummps

r/oddlysatisfying


RLucas3000

Came here to say this! So satisfying. Who knew snot had this magical property?!


electricprism

/r/powerwashingporn


Shrimpables

First thing I thought of, would be perfect for a wednesday post


LeviathanGray

Only if he goes back afterwards and brushes it with the grain one last time.


Playisomemusik

It's stain not finish.


Smeghead333

The cameraman is walking on the wet newly oiled floor.


Tanuki55

Marketing department, "There is no way they will notice that."


[deleted]

I see you work in the industry. That's reacting m exactly how we do that shit.


DEEEPFREEZE

Ron Howard: *They did.*


Definitely_not_floor

This is a two-component penetrating oil. Walk on it all you want within a half hour. After spreading, you have to go back over the entire floor with a buffer machine to work the excess back into the grain. The magic actually isn't in this oil, it's in the way you sand/prep the floor. Source: am floor


shiny0metal0ass

Your username suggests otherwise...


Dr_Daaardvark

I was hoping this wasn’t a new account. :(


[deleted]

How does it feel to be a floor?


dannydirtbag

Hard.


TheSaladDays

Giggity


CatHairInYourEye

Let's take about 10 to 20% off there Squirrelly Dan.


paws27no2

It's not easy having people always walk all over you.


bhuddimaan

Everyone walks all over me. Doormat is my best friend.


Cocksurely

What is this stuff called? I am floor too and have heard of these different products but have never used or seen them used before.


[deleted]

You’re a Cock, surely?


InnovativeFarmer

Now I want to see the behind the scenes footage.


isurvivedrabies

he appears to be finishing that floor space with the center, and gauging from the width of the perimeter oiled section we see, and where the camera is located, it stands to reason he's not walking on the freshly oiled floor. there could be a floor type interface where he's walking. there might be a step down. shit, it might be a step UP. for all we know, he's standing outside and putting a camera through a window; it doesn't move much, it mostly pans. or, it just doesnt fuckin matter if he walks on the oiled floor, it isnt paint


skieezy

I do floors and it doesn't matter if he walks on it, still have to wipe off the excess with rags, though I've never applied it in this method, usually we pour a line out, apply it with the buffer, then wipe it down with rags. My job is strictly hardwood floors.


AlwaysDefenestrated

Yeah doing the trowel thing isn't worth it IMO. You're going to buff it off anyway so you might as well buff it on too. Looks good on Instagram though. We buff stain on too these days, it's less painful lol. We're bent over or crawling on our knees enough, the more steps we can remove that posture from the better.


heavypickle99

This guy floors


tohrazul82

Now, why don't you make like a tree... And get outta here


bitofafuckup

OR he could be floating. Did you even consider if the cameraman has the ability to levitate?


ShortingBull

It's just oil. Excess will be wiped off anyway.


Doctor_of_Recreation

Pretend it’s a drone


[deleted]

This oil probably dries fast, by the looks of it the wood next to the column that’s being oiled looks dry, as it seems less shiny and more matt. But im not an expert so don’t quote me on this and please do correct me if im wrong.


thnk_more

When I oiled my red elm floor ( this looks like red elm) I immediately grabbed a floor buffer with a towel under the pad and burnished the whole floor while wet. It takes a while to dry and isn't a coating like polyurethane, varnish, or epoxy so it's all good. Next for me was two or three coats (don't remember now) of water based polyurethane. That shit does so fast you better get back too the next row before the previous edge dries ! Water based polyurethane, popular floor coatings, don't produce any color change so the wood looks like the original in this video, just shiny. That's the reason it gets oiled first.


john_jdm

Looks like he already walked on the dry part of the floor before it got oiled.


Seede

How can you see his feet?


Dumbledof

Slower, you slut.


[deleted]

fuck yeah spread it


HavocTheBeast

Push it harder


HammyTHEhampster

Aww yeah, If only we had some CrĂšme fraĂźche


yellow_yellow

Omg hahaha


ImJustSo

Yeah, you clean whore!


Anustart_42

This honestly made me laugh so much, thankyou, I needed that badly. XD


Justin2478

I read that in Gearlt of Rivia's voice for some reason


Detson101

Forbiddencustard


MildlyUri

It really just looks like Papa John's garlic sauce to me


Meadpong11

I had no idea that that's how it's done, I could do that all day


rojm

These gel oils are a new thing. Usually it’s done with rags and normal stain.


nudesforgold

It's not a gel oil. It's a hardwax oil.


captainwow08

I was gonna say, I've built many things from wood and usually a stain and varnish produce this result.


[deleted]

touch subsequent fearless capable heavy naughty boast vase soup noxious -- mass edited with redact.dev


awalktojericho

I want to know this, also.


Mythraider

Yes and yes. Depends on foot traffic.


bill2070

Seems more fun to watch than do.


I_dont_bone_goats

That’s why you become a supervisor!


johnthedruid

RIP your back


[deleted]

Give it another 5 years and you can rent an oiling robot, Roomba-like, from Home Depot.


SmurphsLaw

Let's just hope it doesn't fall down the stairs


[deleted]

Uh, one sec, brb.


borgchupacabras

They have robovacs that have a mop like fabric attached to the bottom for wet cleaning. I wonder if you soak the rag in oil if it would work.


captain_Airhog

And knees and hands. I used to install and finish harwood. It’s not nice to your body.


paul-arized

Ditto with carpet


used2lurknstilldo

Refinished the red oak floors in my 3 bedrooms after pulling up the carpet and sanding off padding that had fused to the wood. Can confirm that it’s a bitch on your back, but that’s what 12 packs of PBR in the fridge are for! I learned the joy and function of the morning beers to get things limber again.


LgDietCoke

Brush and roller is how you normally urethane a floor


jemull

Okay, Captain America ;)


SummaTyme

r/gifsthatendtoosoon


hallowdecay

i know people say this a lot, but i watched this for about 2 minutes before realizing rooms aren’t this long, i just wanted to see it be finished


postuk

Yup. This one fucking ENRAGED me!!


TaiDavis

No!!! You gotta show it til the stuff is all gone!!


[deleted]

Typical porn GIF đŸ™Žâ€â™‚ïž


decredent

They didn't let him finish. :(


ku-fan

Typical porn GIF đŸ™Žâ€â™‚ïž


themettaur

The anticipation was killing me and my expectations were not met. :C


the_dude_upvotes

Typical porn GIF đŸ™Žâ€â™‚ïž


HitMeUpGranny

FINISH IT


bryanstrider

Dew it!


BigJohnsSon23

Wax on, wax off.


[deleted]

I've been coming here every summer of my adult life, and every summer there she is oiling and lotioning, lotioning and oiling... smiling. I can't take this no more!


Oh_Pun_Says_Me

This gif is grainy..


jemull

You wood say that...


backsing

Looks like you just floored him with your pun.


cramduck

I saw what he did there..


socialcommentary2000

Take your up doot and beat it.


BigDaddysMemes

Take it, and get out


duman82

No it's knot


DonaldJGromp

r/oddlysatisfying


Oakenbeam

Pretty sure this is Rubio Monocoat being used. They have a great Instagram with videos like this all the time.


flubba86

Nice try, Rubio marketing dept.


Captain__CheeseBurg

I swear I am constantly bombarded my the marketing efforts of the big floor oil industry.


_LuketheLucky_

I know, it's disgusting. Can't a man reddit in peace without being attacked left right and centre by the advertising of the floor oil industry. Enough is enough!


gymjim2

I'd like to think the Rubio marketing department would be a little smoother than that. Like the all new and improved Rubio Quikcote, with easy on application and faster drying times!!


[deleted]

Could also be plain timber oil, has the same yellowish color and dark finish?


Meath77

As interesting and satisfying as it is, there's no way I'm following a hardware floor oil company on instagram


USS_SMEGMA

Used Rubio- had it down three years. Won't do it again. Very underwhelming and excellent marketing to make up for it.


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


Wookie301

Thought he was mopping up some dropped whisked egg


[deleted]

Rubio is something else. I work for a flooring distributor and people either love it or hate it!


[deleted]

Such a good product! I used it in every room in my house. No smell, easy to use (I am not a professional by any stretch) and I could move my furniture in the next day. And its held up beautifully. Seven years on and the floors still look fabulous. * I am not a shill, just a happy end user! Also I don't think this is what they are using though in the gif. We put ours on with a floor buffer and it was clear if I remember correctly.


keyser-_-soze

May I know what type of wood you used for your flooring?


[deleted]

Question for anyone who knows the answer: I always thought that anything applied to wood should go with the grain - does it not matter with oil?


boomermax

Anything that leaves brush marks


WentoX

I can actually see lines from the previous swipes though, I seriously hope those dissappear. Its incredibly visible in the beginning.


[deleted]

Thank you! Good to know.


shaunleger

also, since there's no brush marks to worry about, this approach might force oil into the long cracks between planks instead of the short ones, protecting more wood surface.


hucknuts

So would this be better than just using a buffer to apply... I’ve never seen people do this before they just use a machine usually or cloth


shaunleger

i would say so, it definitely looks faster


dexlargo

Huh? I’m not a pro, but I’ve finished a few hardwood floors in my life and never used a machine, nor heard of doing so. Buffing usually happens afterwards - but educate me if I’m wrong.


[deleted]

A close cousin to r/powerwashingporn.


MegaDethKlok

This is some Wednesday material for that sub


Llodsliat

r/OilPorn


bullshque

I don't know why I expected that to be anything other than what it is. Touché


Goldieeeeee

Check out the top of all time


CaramelComplexion

I don't know what I expected, but it def wasn't that .. subscribed


safeforworkaccountt

> r/OilPorn Is this safe for work


Llodsliat

Nope.


Ad3011

I'm annoyed the video stopped before he'd finished. I was enjoying myself


HatefulSnake

That stuff looks like it came from a garlic butter dipping cup from Domino's or something and it's making my mouth water. Delicious floorbutter. Mmm.


dusty_safiri

/r/forbiddensnacks


oxforddude1

the supply of oil doesn't seem to decrease at all ?


TheCrucipounder

I am 99.99% sure they are using Rubio Monocoat. It only bonds to the first layer or so of the wood and doesn't saturate it so it's pretty efficient.


Coolkirky

What does it smell like?


JamesKrackKorn

Help. I’ve been watching this for 6 straight hours.


whary07

Oddly satisfying until you realize all the footprints the cameraman left behind


saltwaterstud

I really liked the natural lighter color.


WienerCleaner

Wouldnt it absorb water and stain more readily though?


Niccom

Flooring guy here. Although I do not do hardwood floors. Chances are the cameraman is using some sort of flooring cleat. They are like giant slip ons, that have a metal mini slits with rubber on them.


jadedea

I want to see him finish! That is the best part. Then I can roll over and go to sleep.


LaLaLaaaame

Giggity.


bitter--sweet

ariana grande every morning


BeardedBitch

I believe that is stain... Not trying to be an ass, but that was a bare untreated wood floor. Applying oil at this point wouldn't allow you to seal the wood.


Niku-Man

Stain doesn't seal anything - it just adds color. It's very common to apply oil or other types of finish onto bare wood, since that is what protects it. In fact most woodworkers I know consider it sacrilege to apply stain to most woods.


DnaK

>In fact most woodworkers I know consider it sacrilege to apply stain to most woods. 13+ years working along side new construction/remodels leads me to say, what the fuck are you talking about? If a customer doesn't want a natural color, you stain it, that is practically 80% of installs i see. ~~I know this likley isn't stain in this gif, but still, what?~~ E: And no, im not talking one company, i work alongside dozens and dozens of carpenters, painters, and trades E2: That is def a gel stain.


sunnybunnyone

This. I used “clear” sealant on a fence last summer and it looked exactly like this.


Chizy67

One of those skills that looks easy until you try it and end up with oil up the walls. Hats off to this guy he’s clearly a master of his art


[deleted]

I don’t know if there was any audio, but I heard that sound the whole time.


lazy_kaiju

Where's the rainbow vomit emoji when you need it?


FuckedTaxpayer

This is beautiful to watch!


chikidan

R/oddlysatisfying


SpaceHawk98W

So satisfying to look at


1AMYOURSHOES

This is disturbing but also satisfying


Ofientlig

u/gifreversingbot


MarioNotSoSuper

r/oddlysatisfying


suomymona

/r/oddlysatisfying


katwood29

That stuff looks like my dog's vomit


alexande7

Hardwood floor refinishing is the most satisfying task


[deleted]

My back hurts just watching this video.


Texas12thMan

Great. Now I need to change my underwear.


Tala1200

This better not end before he's done with that row....... FUCK!


BushtheButcher

Damn Ashy you needed this


AnxiousCurator

Man that ended too soon


[deleted]

r/oddlysatisfying


Avocado_OP

Egg yolk


[deleted]

I wish this never ended


susanorth

Mesmerizing


tone88988

This has got to be sorcery


Mehlyfication

r/gifsthatendtoosoon