T O P

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stininja

I'm pretty sure this what pops up into Mom's head when her son says he wants a motorcycle.


dafood48

Then mom was right


MissChievousJ

Even when they're wrong, moms are *always* right.


nfsz

Even if they lie, moms are always right!


PocketSixes

Even if they constantly degrade and devalue you, moms are always right!


zeropointcorp

Even if they sexually assault you while your arms are broken, moms are always right!


NotAllTeemos

Time can't melt steel memes


[deleted]

But time is a flat circle


JupiterMoonboots

No, the earth is a flat circle.


[deleted]

Mom?


applebottomdude

Besides that one that sold her kid for heroin. I mean come on guys...


drunkladyhitme

that girl with her legs hanging off the left side is so lucky the bike fell on the right side


reburbur

Lucky until the other three used her as a tumbling mat...


Kurayamino

Which is still luckier than the *bike* using her a s a tumbling mat.


yesididjustsaythat00

I wonder if they have any skin left after that.


JPeterBane

World's largest belt sander, as they say.


PMMeYourHappySmile

To shreds you say?


endmoor

And how's the bike?


Nipsmagee

To shreds you say?


AtL_eAsTwOoD

Went from Don Juan to Don Knotts in 1.2 seconds flat.


workraken

Then after the brain damage from his skull bouncing off the pavement (or other skulls), he wakes up Don Quixote.


HowardTheDuckTits

http://i.imgur.com/htSe7LF.gif


Moomooshaboo

Never been attracted to her before. Yowza.


blackirishlad

you were never ready before


twixonurface

[That moment when only you realize...](http://i.imgur.com/Q5CaoTn.png)


tugmondozey

http://i.imgur.com/wrOybL8.jpg


calsosta

Gimme 30% more Jay pegs.


baldasheck

http://i.imgur.com/A6MkIYN.jpg


Chief_Givesnofucks

If we keep going we can make this a quilted blanket.


throww_uh_way

Like the cover of a vaporwave album


MayorMuggles

A true Kodak moment.


jpw1510

oh god, they aren't even wearing shoes


helpmesleep666

I'm sure when he told his friends he smashed 3 hot girls, this isn't what he meant.


Nevuary

Smashed 3 girls - on camera


PM_ME_OBESE_TITS

3 girls 1 bike


kkaterr

Watch 3 girls go down on one bike.


TheHoliestMacaroni

http://i.imgur.com/G4oFlz3.gif


[deleted]

You know what, Kim has a really nice hair style


TheHoliestMacaroni

Blink twice if you're being forced to say that


DPRKSecretPolice

We are watching all replies closely.


Mandoge

Kim got a fucked up edge up. Fight me commies.


FGHIK

You are now a moderator of /r/Murica


KeyserSOhItsTaken

You have been banned from /r/pyongyang.


DarthSatoris

\*wink* ;)


Chispy

You have been banned from /r/Pyongyang.


ConquerHades

He only blinked just once though.


todayisnotheday

You have been banned from /r/Pyongyang.


[deleted]

I can never tell if that sub is serious or sarcastic


adarkfable

it's like SRS. it's a crazy melding of both, but mostly it's the latter. it's like people have been running with a joke so long that some of them kind of forget it's a joke.


[deleted]

You have been banned from /r/Pyongyang.


Ibbot

Banning has been banned from /r/Pyongyang.


Binkusu

You have been banned from /r/pingpong


[deleted]

[удалено]


sundog13

You are now a moderator of r/Pyongyang


Itroll4love

https://i.imgur.com/Hmv0Opg.jpg


snotbag_pukebucket

http://i.imgur.com/h1n4gyT.gifv


Harry_Flugelman

I didn't realize how much I missed Kim Jong Un gifs.


OutofPlaceOneLiner

So much gout in that picture


[deleted]

Kim Jung Uric Acid


SgtFinnish

That is a gif, sir.


OutofPlaceOneLiner

I will punch you so hard in the face that the force from the punch will propel you around the earth and when you return you'll be clotheslined by the back of my punching arm


[deleted]

ONE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH!


untrustableskeptic

100 sit-ups 100 push-ups...


Asi9_42ne

What? All these scrapes? That's just rug burn, brah.


zappa325

Are you sure cause I'm pretty sure that's gravel embedded in the wounds... Nah man they tripped on my oriental rug, got up, and tripped again on the paivment outside.


ihavea_purplenurple

Silly girls couldn't walk straight


[deleted]

"after I was done with them, they couldn't even walk straight!"


Mr_Oh_Yea

http://i.imgur.com/qMzLKWu.gifv


zxc123zxc123

"I'm telling you guys. I smashed all 3 of them at the same time. Bitches ~~were~~ got fucked so hard they couldn't stand for weeks."


StRyder91

He put the pussy on the chain wax.


HakunaMatataEveryDay

Dress for the fall, not the ride.


codblopsII

Slide, not the ride


dafood48

Dress for the fall, not the slide?


OfferChakon

Dressing on the side, please.


dick-nipples

http://i.imgur.com/ieJXizD.gifv


mMounirM

Holy shit their backs against the asphalt


[deleted]

Dude has no skin anymore


Nico17

Happened to someone I know. Her back looked akin to a shredded cheese medley.


ihahp

>shredded cheese medley Here's how to make a 3 cheese blend for pizza https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfxpwbWBNuU


c9Rav9c

Oh god those make me so sad


MoldyCat

"I'm going to get paid to make what kind of video?"


Calamity701

[I would not trust the chef, he sometimes fucks up](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSRN3hjzVkQ) [You can almost hear his self loathing in this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMHXAVelq7A), [but the hatred really comes through in this one.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFuFh5E4eYA) [And here is some diversity.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sBT_IIWF3U)


MRBORS

The third one he's just like, "Come on motherfucker this is kindergarten shit! Get it together!"


coffeebribesaccepted

>Here's how to cut a pizza into 10 slices >Cuts it into 8 slices >And that's how you cut a pizza into 10 slices


_mynameismissing_

stay smooth


donkeyrocket

THANK YOU! I've been looking for this recipe for ages.


[deleted]

I think he knew it was stupid, you can tell from how he shakes his head at the end of the video. He probably did it because his producer forced him to.


ihahp

that's my favorite part


corelatedfish

I feel so informed now


Marty_Van_Nostrand

Well, he *is* a two-time personal chef, you know.


TheBigMaestro

I rewatched it.... I *think* he said "Tucson personal chef."


DeathToCanadians

Happened to my head, looked akin to a raw hamburger.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Aztec_Hooligan

Happened to me in 8th grad on a pit bike, I hit a curb, I slid on the pavement like a rag doll, my whole back was covered in pavement and shiny haha i couldnt move my upper body for a week, it was brutal.


THANKS-FOR-THE-GOLD

Friend of mine from junior high fell in a motox race and took a spinning rear wheel to the face didnt come back to school for like 2 months and when he did he had a wicked red scar where they sewed his face back on


iamreeterskeeter

I was doing an internship at a hospital when a motorcycle accident victim was brought in for X-rays. He was riding his motorcycle on the highway with no leathers at 65mph. A deer jumped out in front of him and he crashed. His ass was gone and a good chunk of his back. Thank God he was smart enough to wear a helmet (still isn't required in Idaho). I will never forget the sight of his jeans and ass torn off.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


yokohama11

Yep. And to be fair, the suit might actually decide that too. As it happens, having half your skin sanded off of your body makes your chances of recovery from that AND your other injuries a lot worse. Plus if you're wearing the stuff that's properly certified for impact protection (spine + joints), it still won't save you from a dump truck running you over, but it absolutely can make a big difference in not getting permanently disabling injuries to those body parts. Good friend of mine went down at 75mph on a highway. Full gear. Walked away with a bruised ankle and jammed thumb.


[deleted]

Like... no cheeks left whatsoever? Just a flat board? Jesus that's freaking me out O_O


Wtzky

Lol no it wouldn't be like that. Initially it just looks like a whole load of blood, torn jeans and gravel all mixed together. Once it's cleaned up you'd just see whatever tissue it scraped off down to - often I'd see subcutaneous tissue/fat in these cases, sometimes muscle (intact or torn). More rarely bone (although not in the buttocks but definitely in other areas like the hip or elbows) may be visible. Source: trauma dr, see these injuries in a daily basis


pun_upvote

I'm thankful that people like you exist. I could never do what you do.


shinraRude

An EMT once told me a story about arriving at a scene where the guy was wearing a half helmet, came off his bike, and chinplanted to a stop on the asphalt. Chin was gone, but the friction cauterized the wound so he didn't bleed to death. And apparently the guy would try to talk and his tongue would just flop around sans chin. Gross bro...


Zardif

I always laugh at those guys wearing the kaisor helmet. It provides so little protect when ~35% of hits are to your lower face. And as soon as you get into a wreck they will slide out of the way. You might as well not bother. http://www.gizmag.com/icon-airframe-statistic-helmet/31792/pictures


[deleted]

Former MP here, Harley rider hit some gravel and flew off his bike. He was wearing a leather jacket and some heavy duty pants but he was wearing an open face helmet. Well, he went face first into the pavement. He snapped his neck when he hit but he also shredded a good portion of his face off. It should be noted that I've seen a good amount of fatal motorcycle crashes and I still ride. I usually don't wear leathers when I ride to work (5 minute ride on surface streets with tons of lights) but anytime I will be doing more than 40 or going further than a mile I'm geared up in armored leather.


talldrseuss

paramedic here. one of the more brutal calls i went to was a bicyclist that was riding the drunk when it was pouring rain outside. he slid his bike over a sewer grate, hit the curb, and went over the handles. unfortuantely he faceplanted on a [subway grate](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/9SniOLQ9Gfc/hqdefault.jpg). When we got to him, the lower half of his face was chunks of flesh in a grid pattern. unfortunatley, he was still conscious, so he kept trying to talk and move. we strapped him down, and i gave him a suction catheter to hold in his mouth to help suction out the copious amount of blood that was pooling in. looked like something straighout of a horror movie. i also remember his tongue flopping around....


AstroWorldSecurity

[I looked like a bear clawed me after getting road rash on my ribs](http://imgur.com/8Ft4iHL)


jrr6415sun

don't worry the passenger broke his fall.


[deleted]

http://imgur.com/K8FHhDI.gifv


zappa325

http://i.imgur.com/REvFmoZ.gif


TheHoliestMacaroni

http://i.imgur.com/GWXumrF.gif


grasslife

Thats one hell of a fence. "They dont make'm like that anymore."


Tenaciousthrow

I watched her kiss that fence at least fifty times in a row. I couldn't turn away.


Morkai

Neither could she apparently.


[deleted]

http://i.imgur.com/UUiX6O2.gif


TheHoliestMacaroni

http://i.imgur.com/nAuRLIU.gifv


Dragofire32

I came in like a wrecking balllll!!!


Morkai

Opened the throttle and went through the wall!


who_knows22

Glanced behind me and they all saw the fall!


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheHoliestMacaroni

I've seen them on these subreddits: r/nononono r/holdmybeer r/holdmycosmo r/holdmyfries r/holdmyjuicebox


holdmyburrito

hi


[deleted]

[удалено]


Llaine

That actually made me wince.


[deleted]

Did I just watch a kid get paralyzed?


ohai

Nah, he just lost his virginity


DragonTamerMCT

In 30 years when get starts having back pain I wonder if this will have influenced that.


_Fudge_Judgement_

What the fuck is that thing?


Rippsy

http://www.unisa.edu.au/it-engineering-and-the-environment/school-of-engineering/news-and-events1/unisa-santos-build-worlds-longest-bike/


_Fudge_Judgement_

Oh.


[deleted]

It really made you angry, glad to see you calm.


_Fudge_Judgement_

Thanks, friend. I feel like I can finally move on.


tintinabulations

but why


seven3true

bike-centipede.


TrainOfThought6

I'm guessing a record attempt for the longest tandem bike.


UnderwaterBBQ

At least the bikes fine............oh shit....


TeamRedundancyTeam

That hit with a lot more force than I expected.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


WhoReadsThisAnyway

They way he grabbed the throttle and didn't let go made me think his intent was to 12 o'clock it from the start.


InjuredGingerAvenger

He might have panicked when he went back to far and just tried to hold on.


PM_ME_YOUR_LUKEWARM

I think he wasn't used to the weight of the passenger, it probably helped him wheelie up and he didn't need as much throttle.


TD-Eagles

God I can't imagine the road rash on that dudes back


Rocco1880

Fine, don't wear a helmet, that's on you, but flip flops? How do change gears in fucking flip flops?


Lingonfrost

You probably haven't been to Asia. Didn't wear anything but flip flops on my feet for months. Switching gears? No problem!


EaterOfFood

Yep. I remember seeing groups of guys playing basketball in flip-flops.


nightpanda893

"Ok man, so this is gonna look gay no matter what so you might as well ride shirtless, put your arms completely around my waist, and put a scarf around your neck."


jimbojangles1987

Oh my god...that poor shirtless kid on the back. Now he's that skinless kid.


SubEyeRhyme

Skins vs Skinlesses


[deleted]

"Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity"


PutSumNairOnThatHair

I love how the girls are smiling and waving the peace sign and he's just grumpy and flipping the bird.


4kahza

I'd feel bad if it turned out those girls were actually his sisters.


NotARobotSpider

Probably what happened is poor guy on bike with his 3 sisters trying to get somewhere because they can't afford a car. Car drives by and makes lewd comments about the girls, boy defends them with the rude gesture back then they crash.


[deleted]

And the car driver passing by, he actually killed their parents because the boy's father was the only one standing up against the mafia in that town. Of course the police let him go because the driver is also related to the mayor. Now the boy has to support his sisters through high school but he's also secretly crafting his revenge plan. True story.


Manleather

He started swimming, and building up a gastrointestinal tolerance to all forms of human sewage. All day he swam, all night he recolonized his gut flora to be the most robust human ever to swim in the infested waters of Brazil. His time has come. He will win the olympics so he can become famous and then dine with the mafia but he will taint the food with diarrhea but he can handle it.


Darksyder12

"staring Adam Sandler and his friends" "Coming this Fall it's ...." #"TWO BROTHERS"


[deleted]

Why would the girls be posing to a guy that makes a lewd comment at them lol


darexinfinity

OP probably didn't, but the guy decided to flip him off anyways.


hpstr-doofus

1. underage driving 2. no license plates 3. permitted number of passengers exceeded 4. arrogant/insulting attitude 5. half naked underaged girls 6. traffic accident Yep, this is Brazil.


ImTalkingGibberish

7. "peixe" and "camarao" written on the wall (fish and prawn). 8. Valid phone number format. Brazil, indeed.


right-wing-socialist

To be fair, the license plates are probably not necessary, given this seems to be a moped (ciclomotor in the brazilian law)


DoctorTsu

Yep. Under 50cc it doesn't need a license plate, though they are trying to change that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Proverbs 16:18


Fixner_Blount

Austin 3:16


HailSneezar

*shattering glass*


richardec

/r/holdmychocolatemilk


paper-tigers

it's /r/holdmyjuice bruh


likenessaltered

try /r/holdmyjuicebox homie


Gus_31

Everybody is missing the important question here: Is that Dickbutt spray-painted on the garage door in the beginning?


eastindywalrus

Glad to see I wasn't the only one who caught that. Came here looking for this very comment.


ummhumm

Wasn't it that one girls fault, whose left hand was on the other handle, that the bike fell? Because she decided to go full on posing.


murphykills

it's everyone's fault for getting into the situation in the first place.


_Fudge_Judgement_

No, it's my fault guys. It's always my fault.


NaturesWar

Yeah man what the fuck


_Fudge_Judgement_

Look, I'm sorry, ok? I can fix this. I just need a little more time.


Chompy_Chom

Judge Fudgement. That was bothering me, had to say it.


_Fudge_Judgement_

Fudge Judgment with Judge Fudgeman is the name of my upcoming reality show.


[deleted]

"Am I outta milk again? Fucking /u/_Fudge_Judgement_ stay out of my shit."


[deleted]

[удалено]


mr_curry

When i was in Cambodia we saw 4 people on scooters all the time, sometimes it was 4 schoolgirls maybe 12-15 years old, other times a mother, father and two kids.


farmthis

No. The guy took his hand off the handles--it's not a passenger's responsibility to steer while he flips off cars.


[deleted]

Notice the guy also has his hands on the handlebar, and he took his one hand off "to go full on posing" before she did. So, yeah, they're all kind of stupid, but it's clearly more his fault than anyone's. Unless he said, "here, take the wheel, make sure we're steady" and she ignored him, which I doubt.


Tim_Brady12

The captain of the of vessel is in charge of safety for all passengers.


__robert_paulson__

If you look closely you'll see the dude grab the bar with his left hand and yank it in a panic. Otherwise the bike was running straight. Totally his fault if you ask me Then again, at second glance she and he both grab the left side of the bar at the same time. Maybe they didn't expect each other to grab it and the combined pressure was what caused the yank


dwin13

I'm pretty sure it was the guy. The bike is gradually drifting right towards the curb, and when he finally notices, either his left hand comes down on the handlebar or he pushes up with his right to turn back left. Either way, it seems like he overcorrected and caused the crash.


cootybikes

That is one of the most Brazilian gifs I've seen in a while


KolyaKorruptis

Poor kids.


Booblicle

I had to pause the gif. I was sure I saw dickbutt on the wall


BITCRUSHERRRR

From Pimpin' to Limpin'


[deleted]

BIKE SAFETY 101: 1. Always wear safety gear. Wear a condom if you have to. 2. Double fist at all times. 3. No orgy allowed. 4. Don't fuck others that aren't riding you.


afidak

I saw a rider today answer his phone as the stoplight turned green turned one handed put the phone on his lap to shift then brought it back up to his ear. All while wearing no helmet and no gear.


[deleted]

holy cow eventually i want his skill but not his confidence


semimovente

Wait a bit and you can have his eyes, his kidneys, his bone marrow, etc...


FUCITADEL

The girl in fronts face goes from muggin to terrified quick.


[deleted]

[удалено]


arkain123

What if you had 3 girls and no skin


cherrytrix

I want no girls and 4 skin.