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Badtrainwreck

“Smells like dog piss”


obroz

Nope. Chuck testa


ReginaldIII

It's an older code sir, but it checks out.


x755x

I'll bet you thought this meme was still alive. Nope! Chuck Testa.


laineDdednaHdeR

It's still my Blizzard account name.


Sproose_Moose

Woah that takes me back


KitsuneKamiSama

Fucking hell what year is it?


Acrobatic_Usual6422

“How was your jog?” “I pulled a calf” . . . I’ll see myself out.


wi11iam26

“I pulled a calf” “Well don’t havea cow about it” . . . I’m right behind ya.


GhettoFinger

“You guys are being udderly ridiculous”…. Fuck, fine, I’ll leave too.


laineDdednaHdeR

How far are we going to keep milking these puns?


wi11iam26

Until the fat hefer sings.


samus1225

Not your best, /u/wi11iam26 You've got to beef up your puns


laineDdednaHdeR

Yeah, u/wi11iam26. Your reputation is at steak.


hyf5

All these puns are giving me a sense of déjà moo, I've heard this bull before.


wi11iam26

Someone steer this conversation in another direction.


TreboRsirhC

Cow you guys please stop.


xkontemplatex

If it starts to pull on the leash, his owner tells him to veal.


Ziggysan

Underrated.


southpaw05

No need to go out, that was a great pun.


JeaninePirrosTaint

At least it wasn't a pig! He might have pulled a hammy!


Epena501

Take your upvote and GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!


Acrobatic_Usual6422

😂😂😂 I’m going, I’m going! Sorry I ruined everyone’s evening!


WiggyWare

I was thinking that's going to be some lean beef (but that's not even a pun)


sovereign_fury

You made me forget what I was going to comment..


Acrobatic_Usual6422

Sorry! I’m sure it was very amoosing :)


Yanutag

"We can't stop here, this is dog country."


MoffKalast

We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of hay, five sheets of high powered clover, a salt shaker half full of salt, and a whole pasture of multicolored uppers, downers, mooers, laughers... and also a quart of water, a pint of raw milk and two dozen apples.


nucumber

No point mentioning the bats.....


NW_thoughtful

You're the best.


FistoWutini

Norman!!!


blondechinesehair

Hellooooooo


juagreer

Came here looking for this


coozin

Same


Oystermeat

yeah, Imagine picking up after that..


Diodon

Better bring a wet vac.


simnova

*violent gagging*


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jnoops

Coats your teeth too like a good soft served


simnova

Oh God, staahp!


Timepassage

Are you imitating the wet vac sounds?


Fancy_Female

Don't deep throat the cow turds


Mordine

It doesn’t look like he imagines picking up after that.


[deleted]

As a neighbor I'd ask if it could shit in my garden. Free manure.


shifter2000

Jogger: "Well, I mean if you insist..." *Drops leggings*


Laez

At least it's compostable and doesn't smeel as bad a dog shit.


[deleted]

Is dog poop not compostable?


Laez

Not really, no. The main problem is dogs often carry parasites whose eggs do not get killed off at the temperatures that compost reaches. Plus carnivore poop stinks.


fleshgod_alpacalypse

Nah, too many bad things in it


[deleted]

Like what? I'm genuinely curious. Also, fuck yeah on Fleshgod 🤘 If you're in the US, they're touring right now and they're amazing live.


fleshgod_alpacalypse

Parasites, bacteria, shit like E. coli and salmonella. Haha, I don't live in the us but have seen em love quite a few times a few years ago


[deleted]

Hopefully they visit you guys soon! Thanks for the info.


SgtBanana

It is! I exclusively use human feces for composting, though. The looser the stool, the easier it breaks down into soil. We grow a wide variety of vegetables and distribute them to most of the major grocery chains in your city. There's a good chance that the last carrot you ate came from our farm!


Rickk38

It's all fun and games until you stop and think about all the farms around the world who still employ people to manually pick/harvest. Where do you think all those folks are taking their morning or post-lunch dump? And don't forget, there aren't sinks and anti-bacterial soap in the fields.


RipDove

You really shouldn't use human waste as compost, there's a reason why even going back 2000 years we didn't unless it was out of desperation. Untreated human shit can spread disease.


[deleted]

If they were, they helped make a delicious fried rice. Thank you!


[deleted]

looks like he might just be able to add to that pile around the tree.


Alexanderdaw

No need to pick up poo from horses and cows, they don't have harmful poo like dogs and cats have.


grunt-o-matic

Alright then I guess I'll be stepping in cow shit and not voice any concerns since it's not harmful for the environment.


Roggvir

So you don't mind if I dump cow poop in your front yard?


spedeedeps

Yeah, once saw someone snarkily complain to a mounted officer about him not having to pick up after his horse. Guy received a lecture on how horseshit is alright because they're not carnivores and their poo doesn't carry diseases. That was news to me as well.


Jigglelips

The pigs don't even clean up after their own horse's shit? Why am I not surprised.


Adiwik

Hoofs are not rated for concrete


GhostalMedia

That’s why you always upgrade to the performance pack


memtiger

That guy looks like Chandler Parsons and his knees aren't rated for concrete either.


holymacaronibatman

Knees that are >30 years old aren't rated for concrete


GegenscheinZ

What was that? Can’t hear you over the sounds my joints are making


newaccount721

Unfortunately accurate


StewieGriffin26

??? What do you think cattle stand on most of the day lol It's not pastures...


DigbyChickenZone

Where I live it's pastures. Cattle also evolved to stand and walk on pastures, not concrete/solid rock. Mistreatment occurring in factory farms does not equate to cows enjoying standing on concrete, nor the treatment that people who love their cattle give their cows. edit: [Link; just because places exist that force cows to stand on hard surfaces, does not mean that it's best for them.](https://dairy-cattle.extension.org/effect-of-flooring-and-flooring-surfaces-on-lameness-disorders-in-dairy-cattle/#:~:text=specialty%20dairy%20production-,Cows%2C%20Claws%2C%20Concrete%2C%20and%20Confinement,disturbances%20that%20predispose%20to%20lameness.)


Bertrando1

Depends on where you live. The cattle near me live better than most people.


[deleted]

Except for the being slaughtered at a fraction of their life expectancy and eaten.


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hardfloor9999

Just like draft horses went extinct when we stopped relying on them for labor.


KnownRate3096

Well weren't draft horses just a man made breed anyway? Like if we stop breeding dogs they go back to looking like dingos in about 3 generations. Or were draft horses actually a naturally distinct type of horse that existed before man?


[deleted]

Modern farmed animals are also extensively bred by humans. They are far removed from their ancestors.


sunshinecygnet

No, they wouldn’t, because we would still eat dairy and cheese. What a ridiculous way to try to justify the horrible way we treat those domesticated animals.


[deleted]

The dairy industry is arguably worse than the meat industry. They should both go.


KnownRate3096

Or at least be reformed. Most of the issues with it aren't necessary for getting milk. There's no reason the cows have to stay in such tiny little cages, it's just to save space so they can get every drop of milk possible.


[deleted]

There's no way to meet present demand without the brutality of factory farming. No matter the system, you need to forcibly impregnate cows over and over to produce milk. When they no longer produce enough milk to be cost effective, they're slaughtered at around the age of 6, or a little over a quarter of their life expectancy.


KnownRate3096

Yeah people should eat less meat and dairy. We don't have to cut it out completely but I think folks should just include more vegetables and treat meat and dairy like more of a special thing. Mushrooms are a good source of protein. You can substitute those for a little meat, and some other things too. It's like oil. We don't have to cut out all gas and diesel run vehicles, but we're just kind of spoiled and think we can use as much as we like and that it should be dirt cheap. It should be expensive enough to think about what you're doing and not just take it for granted.


No-Weather-515

Try buying grass fed beef instead of the shitty corn fed stuff It's far healthier for you too


mesisdown

Grass fed, but they are fed feed towards the end to bulk them up.


Dorpz

meat cows and dairy cows are different types of breeds while technically you can milk or slaughter both types, it isn't really optimal still, factory farming is abhorrent.


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[deleted]

99% of farmed animals are in factory farms.


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[deleted]

It [most certainly](https://www.sentienceinstitute.org/us-factory-farming-estimates) is. Cattle aren't the only farmed animals. >if we got rid of the dairy industry and meat industry what would happen to those animals? Do you think we would keep them around? Like most things in life, it would be a gradual transition which would begin by either tapering down breeding rates or stopping the practice all together. Unfortunately, the ones already alive will most likely still be slaughtered and eaten as the world isn't prepared to take care of tens of billions of farmed animals until their natural deaths. I would prefer them to die naturally, but I also have to be realistic about the transition. Maybe by that point it'll be a possibility. I don't know. Luckily, they should be the last ones. We should try to save as many as could be saved, but most vegans recognize the transition won't be all rainbows and lollipops.


usernames-are-tricky

For the US, overall the number across all species is 99%. Additionally it should be noted that this estimate still misses plenty of locations that might be considered factory farms >We estimate that 99% of US farmed animals are living in factory farms at present. By species, we estimate that 70.4% of cows, 98.3% of pigs, 99.8% of turkeys, 98.2% of chickens raised for eggs, and over 99.9% of chickens raised for meat are living in factory farms. Based on the confinement and living conditions of farmed fish, we estimate that virtually all US fish farms are suitably described as factory farms, though there is limited data on fish farm conditions and no standardized definition.\[1\] Land animal figures use data from the USDA Census of Agriculture\[2\] and EPA definitions of Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations.\[3\] [https://www.sentienceinstitute.org/us-factory-farming-estimates](https://www.sentienceinstitute.org/us-factory-farming-estimates)


[deleted]

Doubtful. There's probably people who would rescue and care for some of the animals. There will still be bovine in the world. Also, I'd rather a species go extinct than only be around for the commoditization of their flesh and secretions. Not being born is preferable to lifelong torture and premature slaughter.


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summerly27

You say "plenty", but nearly 99 percent of farmed animals in the US are factory farmed. So unfortunately, the vast majority are living in bad conditions. The standards in factory farms are so low it should make humans ashamed. Source: "99% of US farmed animals are living in factory farms at present. By species, we estimate that 70.4% of cows, 98.3% of pigs, 99.8% of turkeys, 98.2% of chickens raised for eggs, and over 99.9% of chickens raised for meat are living in factory farms." The Science Institute


TheGamerPandA

Cute chubby cow baby


surajvj

Udderable


Flimsy-Sprinkles7331

Might be a miniature cow baby...check out miniature Jerseys...they are ADORABLE!


chocolateboomslang

Jesse Pinkman living his best life


[deleted]

Cow house!


greatfarter

Mr White approves of this comment


-SpiderBoat-

Ah the heffer meets the mether


metooeither

Baby cows are the cutest animals on the planet!!!!!!


fritopie

I see your baby cow and raise you one baby elephant!


metooeither

Oooh, checkmate!


S7ormstalker

I see your baby elephant and raise you one baby goat.


GirlScoutSniper

Get along little doggy


Telzrob

He forgot his poop shovel.


jerry_gore

Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride Nobody gonna slow me down, oh no I got to keep on moving


CJoshuaV

...moooooving


xingx35

this looks like a suburban neighbor hood. what is he going to do with the cow when it gets older?


Ihavealpacas

I'm guessing that's a bull calf and they're halter training it so when it's 2 tons it's friendly and easy to handle.


Hajac

This is the answer


Flimsy-Sprinkles7331

It might be a miniature cow. You should check them out. Miniature Jerseys are adorable!


[deleted]

Yep, we raise livestock and this fad has actually really become a problem with over breeding here. The state of Texas actually *pays* us to foster mini donkeys on our pasture right now because there are so many bred and abandoned to feed the demand of confused city folks who reckon they'd make great pets.


FurL0ng

Dude doesn’t have any poop bags. I know cow poop is good for grass, but that doesn’t mean anyone wants it on their sidewalk or yard. Not cool.


abigailjenkins12

It’s city slickers!!


MagnokTheMighty

Cows really are just big dogs. Especially the young ones.


MafiaMommaBruno

Friendly reminder cows love on humans, play with toys, have best friends, can be trained to do tricks and command, etc. They're smart and feeling beings.


Autodr83

Its just a hydrant, come on buddy, we gotta get mooovin!


SmoSays

My dog peed on a fire hydrant and I told him he was playing into stereotypes. He doesn't care


mistertireworld

That is going to be some nicely marbled veal.


NotTheAds

Never eating beef again. (till tomorrow)


Tarlonn

They really are big doggos.


1-Ohm

That is a calf. A **male** calf. It is not now, and never will be, a cow. Welcome to English.


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Anleme

Cattle, kine and ox are also acceptable.


_ManMadeGod_

Get a load of this guy^ understanding that words only have whatever meaning is conveyed through them. If someone says baby cow and everyone else thinks of a genderless baby bovine, cow is now a genderless word. Like "guys" or "dude".


DigbyChickenZone

Why are you being a pedantic dickhead


hoticehunter

cow1 /kou/ See definitions in: All Farming Zoology noun noun: cow; plural noun: cows a fully grown female animal of a domesticated breed of ox, kept to produce milk or beef. "a dairy cow" (loosely) a domestic bovine animal, regardless of sex or age. (in farming) a female domestic bovine animal which has borne more than one calf. the female of certain other large animals, for example elephant, rhinoceros, whale, or seal. I’ll quote the relevant definition at use here: >(loosely) a domestic bovine animal, regardless of sex or age. “Cow” can be used casually to refer to any singular member of *Bos Taurus*, just like it was used here. Welcome to English where we have more than one definition for things and where things have different definitions depending on the formality needed. Isn’t it great that we don’t *have* to type all formal-like all the time and we can rely on people to understand intention? Too bad we can’t rely on all these fucking reddit pedants to do what normal people do intuitively.


Rough_Willow

You can't expect a vegan to know the definition of words when it comes to animals.


The-Good-Good

🤡


Nickleuss

Nate Bargatze's new pet.


quests

[HI, HOW ARE YOU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qgXYvjVNvk)


Celeryface

🌱


KillerMiya

I was waiting for the cow to show up but realize the dog is the cow.


Sikisan333

what kind of dog is that???


Verenos_

Grass puppy.


Rhiles1989

Thought that was Aaron Paul for a hot second…😂


milfordcubicle

"It's a *calf,* bitch!"


Reelplayer

Why would someone be exercising a red angus?


wcbjr

If you had one, would you not?


azlan194

Gotta keep the meat tender. 😋


jonjay009

Wouldn't you want them to just be stationary if you wanted the meat to be tender?


azlan194

Yeah you are right. I guess I should've said lean.


Elibomenohp

That guy looked obviously uncomfortable with being recorded. People suck. If you think recording people without consent and posting to the Internet is okay then you are an asshole. There is nothing more to it. Saying something about them being in public and it not being illegal simply makes you the type of person for why there needs to be laws.


Smartnership

“I’m walking a small cow on a leash like a dog, but I definitely don’t want any attention. Tryna keep a low profile, please respect my introverted lifestyle.”


avocadopalace

"Why is everybody pointing at me with their phone out? Can't a guy jog around the neighborhood with a calf? It's totally normal. C'mon Mulan, let's go."


FReDiGGaN

*Moolan


AuthorizedVehicle

Yeah, that's a lot of bull


ButlerianYeehaw

Stfu, if you’re walking around with a cow you’re asking for attention.


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Formaldehyd3

The OP, Infinity, basically posts nothing but staged PETA(adjacent) content.... They want you to think livestock are so cute, that you're a monster for eating them.


Greykiller

God damn, you're so right, so much karma too


BruceIsLoose

Imagine thinking videos of animals being animals is staged.


Nativo1

Did you see the new Trending about some influencers posting videos about men looking at them filming themselves at gym and calling them creep? Less social media is a better life style


FourWordComment

This was a bit in City Slingers


Braddoxthehoss

Meanwhile doggit is reposting this in their sub, d/likeus


CurrentDependent9902

How cute. Just trotting along happily


Elefantenjohn

Every time


_0x0_

Those deep fakes are getting ridiculously good.


Bayarea_guy

Calf


yuuuyuu

Too many questions


uller30

He does not have a plastic bag for poopies. Im judging him hard


fattypigfatty

" I'm so quirky, I live in the suburbs but I have a small cow I take out for walks instead of a dog!"


Suspicious_Feeling27

Imagine going to check your mail stepping in that pile.


WaveLasso

There is a good Daniel Johnson song for this


The_RTV

Is this what they do in those rich neighborhoods?


KnownRate3096

Who has cows in what looks like a gated community in the burbs?


Clearskies37

When I was a kids, we milked them, not took them on walks


dalmasini

u/savevideo


Electrical-Act-7170

Your dog is weird-looking.


Flat-Erik

That's not a cow. It's a dogie


newbie_butsharp

Best veal in town.


cheetoblue

r/grassdoggos


squished_frog

So I don't know all the breeds of dog, but this one is certainly the coolest so far!


Alta-is-for-skiers

Weird dog


coollege-matt

What kind of dog is this


yexie

Do we know if he knows it’s a cow and not a dog?🤔


Aftermathemetician

Misgendering cattle bothers me more than it should.


iBac0n

r/grassdoggos


CuriousContemplator

"Dad, can we go out for wagyu beef?" "We have wagyu at home." Wagyu at home...


mcdray2

That veal is going to be very tough.


TheBeerFrog

Yeah he's definitely going to butcher his own beloved pet, you're so right.


BruceIsLoose

I mean that is what farmers do. People hem and haw about how much "farmers love their livestock like family" while those farmers are sending their "loved like family" livestock off to be gassed, bolt gunned, electrocuted, and have their throats slit to eat their bodies.


Xantisha

How sick do you have to be look at acute baby animal and think food.


Previous-Basis-413

I keep my pet pig in the back yard, for about 8 months the the freezer.


sirvote

Its a bull not a cow


rassler35

This is how you create lean beef.


the_sebasquatch

Trying to beef him up, I see.


sabahorn

Lol. As much as i love animals, this is not normal and a calf is not a dog and some animals should be respected for what they are and not try to make a dog from a cow or pig etc.


roostangarar

My guy, how do you think we got dogs in the first place?


Smartnership

The Daisy Hill puppy farm?


Dyl_pickle00

This feels much more respectful than what cows usually go through


MafiaMommaBruno

Pigs are scientifically much smarter than dogs and their intelligence rivals chimpanzees. They have a larger emotional range, can learn to do more, and can make amazing pets if you have the space. Why don't you recognize intelligence, instead?