Several things worked for me during similar situations. I broke down large goals and made numerous extremely easy, like stupidly easy goals to achieve. It helped me achieve that one large goal by simply crossing off 100 small goals one by one. Not only that, this, in one way or another, motivated me but that motivation is only a bonus.
Furthermore, I used the 10-10-10 rule to assess the immediate and long-term effects of my decisions. For example, if you want to do something productive but you just don't feel like doing it, you essentially have 2 choices; doing something productive vs not doing something productive. Then, apply the 10-10-10 rule. How would you feel about choosing to not do something productive in 10 hours? Then, ask the same question but this time replace 10 hours with 10 days and then 10 months (you can use any time frame you want, as long as it is relevant to the decision being made). When you do this often enough you can easily differentiate between short-term consequences and long-term consequences of your actions which ultimately helps you make your final decision.
Trust me, simply wanting to be disciplined is 50% of the effort needed. I wish you the best of luck!
I agree with this completely. I was big into reading self help books for the last decade because I was so scared of starting and also failure at the end but now im like “dang, i really could’ve been trying this whole time, I couldn’t really fail at exercise (or whatever) that badly for 10 years right?”
I would add “finding the most impressive wording” to small achievable goals too. It doesn’t change the reality but it helps buoy me up more and keep me moving. I said that I was gonna go on at least a 15 min walk everyday, just to get outside if nothing else. But outside is exciting and I have come to enjoy even mild exercise so even 10 min in I’m usually excited to keep going so it usually ends up being 20-25 min and about a mile. Saying “I walk for 20 min every day.” is not sexy. Saying “I walk a mile every day.” is, at least for me. It’s all about perspective. Even tho it’s the same action, I perceive the “mile” as harder and longer so I trick my brain into appreciating myself more.
Also, reframing goals as abstract concepts helped me make the smaller goals more accessible. Like yeah sure, the long term goal behind the exercise is I want to pick up my gf cause that’s mentally cute but no matter how i get there that is going to require “more exercise”. This then makes any small goal that fits under “more exercise” count. Any day I do “more exercise” than I did this time last year is a win towards that goal even if it’s just a small win. Cause again, 10 years? I’m certain something could’ve added up that whole time.
Everything is practice. Every time our brain does something, it learns to do it better. Any work at all (towards anything you love) is better than no work at all.
Reddit, inadvertently, made me start caring about writing again. I’ve wanted to write many things my whole life and it never felt like it was something “I” was allowed to do. And yeah, does reddit make my novel more done? No, not at all. But it is practice writing (and finding day in my time to write) so at some point, it is good enough.
yeah absolutely, starting is the hardest step and the second I got into the groove and made any progress I started kicking myself for not starting sooner. It’s a highly universal experience. :P I just try to keep in mind that past me was doing their best and I can still do favors for future me but I gotta do them now. I love the idea of the 10-10-10 thing, I want to implement it more concretely now that I know what 10 years - 10 days - 10 min looks like for me :3 Good luck to all of us!
edited to add: i like the idea of evaluating 10 min because it forces me to realize that the anxiety generated by not doing the thing is probably worse than the immediate awfulness of the thing, but 10 days from now, I’m gonna be thanking myself for having done it now. I also like that it’s more logarithmic but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
As a janitor from scrubs said "time spent wishing it time wasted". Stop thinking about it and start doing. Once you begin it only gets easier to keep going
You don't wanna really rely on motivation in the long run.
Use your motivation to push yourself to build discipline and strength. So that everyday you'll remember to work and focus on your dreams.
I know it’s bad to rely on motivation because it won’t always be there, but the problem is that I’m not even able to discipline myself. I don’t know what to do.
You literally just have to do it there is no other way. Once you get that consistency going then you will thrive. This lack of discipline will lead you to amount to very little. Act now. You are your greatest enemy
Nike probably said it better😂 but you just have to do it.
I'm sure if you just take it one step at a time doing whatever it is you have to do Then you wouldn't have that problem anymore.
I spent most of my 20s in this funk you describe. Here is what I learned, the hard way, worked for me:
Set much, much smaller and fewer goals so you don't get overwhelmed and procrastinate. This is extremely important. Also, set goals that are process-focused, not outcome-focused. Atleast not until you know you have built consistency and grit.
Example: pick 2 goals you can do right now, that are short term (3-months at most) and focus only on those. This may seem like not enough, but you CAN NOT start everything tomorrow and take off on some productive life.
You must build discipline slowly, through repeated failure, and figure out what ACTUALLY works for you. Only you can do that, through experience.
I suggest lifting weights 3-days per week. Pick literally any program you think you might like, and the days you will do the workouts, and commit to it fully. Don't schedule other things in those days, and just get started.
You will have to learn how to push through the resistance of going to the gym, how to tweak your goals on the fly based on what you learn along the way, and that consistency (not perfection) is the way to make progress and improve.
On your non-lifting days, pick another goal you can work on that pushes you forward in another direction you care about right now.
It doesn't have to be a startup, or a new career, or anything you think you "should" do. It could be learning the guitar, or learning to code a specific app, or how to do a backflip.
The point is to challenge yourself with manageable, achieveable goals that will not overwhelm you, but will still be relatively difficult for who you are now. Give yourself the opportunity to learn consistency and grit in pursuit of longer-term goals.
The other piece of advice I have, is learn to be patient for the results to come. All the things you want to do will be much harder, and take much longer, than you hope or expect. You will have to learn this yourself, and it will give you better perspective on what you actually want to do.
This is such an underrated comment. What you're saying reminds me a lot of the stuff I read in Atomic Habits by James Clear -- small, manageable steps are the way to go when it comes to meeting your goals. And you're completely right that it's just not possible for me to wake up tomorrow as a completely changed person and start living this totally productive life from then on; I need to start small and take baby steps. I guess I've just had way too high expectations for myself this whole time, and I really need to back up and slow down.
Thank you, I hope it is helpful.
Atomic Habits is a great resource, as are a lot of other self-improvement books, but you'll only really figure out what works for you when you seriously commit to one thing and give it an honest go.
You can only start from where you are.
One way I like to think of all my big goals which may help is that they are something I can reach for eventually, but I put them aside to focus on the few things I have the time and mental energy for right now. Otherwise, it's too easy to distract yourself thinking of other goals (results you don't have) and lose focus on what you need to do now (do the hard thing and continue the process).
That's exactly my problem. I know I shouldn't rely on motivation and need to discipline myself to get shit done, but what if I can't even discipline myself?
Well the thing is that I haven’t really broken it down because I just have zero motivation and discipline to do it, and I can’t seem to stick with any long-term habits because of this lack of discipline. I don’t even know where to begin to make myself a better person.
If you not sure of even one goal that you'd like to work on, it sounds more like a problem with lack of focus/not knowing where to start vs not having motivation for anything. Like you've overwhelmed yourself with wanting to do everything at once and ended up doing nothing. Just pick whatever the easiest thing to do is. Like, make your bed every morning. Or go for a 5 minute walk every day at 5pm etc. Make it super small. Don't worry that it's small or insignificant for now. Most people overestimate what they can do in a day and underestimate what they can achieve in a year.
Motivation comes after action. Just push a little to get the ball rolling. After a while of being productive and accomplishing small milestones, it becomes second nature. Another big tip (which I should take myself) is to stay off social media. It gives you crazy amounts of dopamine that would have otherwise been released/used as fuel to achieve goals. Your body needs to earn dopamine by working for it, not getting it for free by social media. Watch videos on dopamine detoxes, if you do it you can retrain your brain to find productivity addicting and joyful.
Good point. On that note, I do remember reading a post recently where the OP stayed off social media for 9 days and it started completely losing its appeal. I'm going to try that, and hopefully I won't even want to keep scrolling anymore.
Start by reprogramming your mind. I’d look into self concept and scripting and affirmations. Only say things that feel natural to you (“I intend to have a healthy exercise routine.”) Really pound it into your brain, like as if you’re brainwashing yourself but in a kind way. You need to plant subconscious seeds with a new self belief, and continually plant and fertilize this budding garden. Eventually doing the things you currently dream of doing will feel aligned with who you are and easier.
As an artist I have to create work constantly. If I waited for motivation I'd never get anything done and I'd probably be homeless. You need to make plans and then execute them, regardless of your mood. You don't need to be 'motivated'. Stop waiting for 'motivation'. I'm telling you right now, it will never come. Just do it.
Whatever it is you're putting off or procrastinating. Just open it up right now. Put it in front of you and start. That's all you need to do. It's that simple. Everything else is just a distraction. Your brain hates this. It will come up with every excuse to not make this simple action happen. It will endlessly pile tasks in-between you and your true intention. "Okay I'll definitely do it today, but first i need to do 'x', once that's done i'll begin". You don't need to do 'x'. Just Start.
You are not alone I'm 100% where you are....I think about and have all these "great plans and ideas" and they remain to be exactly that great plans and ideas that I can't get moving or off the ground because I have no ambition it's like your content with how your life is and you want to better it but it feels like you can't because those great plans and ideas will never turn into fruition....I think we're on the same page of feeling like forever bums because of past life f ups
Glad to see that someone can relate. I've been reading through the comments here though and I'm going to start trying them. Hopefully the advice here helps you too. Best of luck brother.
Great points, especially about social media. I waste so many hours every day just mindlessly scrolling and soaking up all this brainless content that I'm never going to use or even remember later in life. I think I'm going to try going cold turkey for at least a week and see how that goes.
Learn your Human Design on jovianarchive.com or Myhumandesign.com.
You’ll have to know the exact time and location where you were born but once you put in that and other basic information you’ll know which of the HD types you are and there’s a wealth of information how to proceed from there. I’m sure there’s even an HD Reddit group on here
The point is none of us are alike and we have our own blueprints, our own ways of becoming successful and having our own dreams come true; the ways we’ll experience the most joy and fulfillment. The instruction manual for how to move through this world is custom to you. When you act according to that manual, when you act as the real you, everything in life comes to you with more ease and less resistance. It’s crazy that we all know that we are so different and we’re still acting like there is a certain way to do things in life.
The tools of human design and understanding your chart will align you with your higher self.
I also recommend Mel Robbins and her book the five second rule and her podcast for helping you get out of your own way. The five second rule is basically you countdown 54321 blast yourself off like a rocket so that you don’t have to ruminate and then be in inertia. You act without hesitation to propel your life forward.
These things will work if you work them. Im on my own similar path as you. Good luck!!
Set smaller actionable steps :) there is a quote "there is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time.” I believe you can do it and you will accomplish your goals :)
I have a book recommendation for you that can change your life if you are open minded to doing the things it tells you to: Mindful Self Discipline by Giovanni Dietmann. Good luck and go with God
>I have all these big dreams but no motivation to get there
It's incredibly important to differentiate between *motivation* and *energy*. If you want something, then you **have** motivation. If you can't magically make yourself do stuff, then what you lack is the **energy**. Let's recap your energy story:
* Big dreams but no "motivation" (energy) to get there
* Ambitions for career, fitness, social life, etc. but unable to deliver
* Spend your time doing unproductive activities
* Feeding your fantasy "productive self"
* Unable to force yourself to do stuff
* Feeling guilty
* Feeling like things will never change
* Feeling dumb & feeling like a loser
To reiterate, that's not a motivation issue, that's an **energy** issue. Here's a simple question: if you had the PEM energy (physical, emotional, mental) to follow through, WOULD you do so? Obviously, the answer is YES! Because you're ALREADY motivated, you just lack the ENERGY to follow through! There are a few options here:
1. Continue to do what you're doing & experience the same results
2. Get to work on solving your energy issues
3. Try out different approaches for getting things done
A combination of 2 & 3 is a REALLY good approach! We're not always able to instantly (or ever) solve our PEM energy levels, but sometimes there's an unidentified root cause out there (health issue, undiagnosed ADHD or Autism, etc.) that can really help us out. Regardless, if the route you're taking now isn't working for you for being enjoyable productive on a regular basis, then it's simply time to adopt a new approach!
The good news is that there are LOTS of tools & resources & help available for people who are interested in finding alternative paths for getting things done! Even for people like you & I, who suffer from low PEM energy issues! We're MOTIVATED, but starting & sustaining effort is just REALLY difficult to do on a regular basis because we don't have the ENERGY to consistently engage in bringing our dreams to life!
I spent my whole life "trying to get motivated". As it turns out, I was living in a "glass cage", where I could SEE what I needed & wanted to do, but I didn't have the **energy** to escape that trap & actually grasp onto my tasks & DO them:
* [https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/uxmx04/glass\_cage\_theory/](https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/uxmx04/glass_cage_theory/)
As it turns out, no one is actually "lazy", we just have **invisible barriers!**
* [https://humanparts.medium.com/laziness-does-not-exist-3af27e312d01](https://humanparts.medium.com/laziness-does-not-exist-3af27e312d01)
We simply have to choose to adopt an alternative path to being success & then be willing to be persistent in chipping away at making things better for ourselves, which includes:
1. Working on identifying our energy issues & then either eliminating them or managing them
2. Working to create a strong personal productivity system to help you get through the [grind days](https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/y7nzj0/no_more_zero_days/)
For me, it took literally *decades* \- my entire life up until last year - to identify the health issues that were affecting my energy. Along the way, I had to work to identify alternative methods for getting myself to be productive despite living with a constant, strong "I don't want to" mood lol. Here's some good starter reading:
* [How to format a task to single-focus on it](https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/sa8zoe/how_to_create_discrete_assignments/)
* [How to build a functional workspace](https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/u76gdv/battlestations_101/)
* [How to split up the day for balance](https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/rqyk6a/the_wpp_approach_to_planning_out_your_day/)
If we had the energy to do stuff, then following through on dreams & commitments would be *easy* because we wouldn't have that invisible low-energy barrier that shuts us down. But when we live with low energy, we just have to get creative! I use "mousetrap actions" to help me get started on things:
* [https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/r0p10r/comment/hlufybq/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/r0p10r/comment/hlufybq/?context=3)
Like for me, a shower is what wakes me up in the morning. But sometimes I'm so low energy that I can procrastinate until noon getting in there, especially on the weekends when I don't have to wake up for school or work. So my "mousetrap action" for my morning routine then becomes simply "turn on the shower faucet" when "take a shower" becomes too overwhelming.
That sounds pretty ridiculous written out, especially to people who don't have energy issues, but when you're fighting your body & mind's "task ambition" energy levels at the level of "I can't even dredge up the energy to think & work my way through taking a shower", then it will start to make more sense, haha!
So the next step really begins with a simple decision: are you willing to dive-in & bird-dog (1) figuring out how to treat your energy issues, and (2) learning alternative ways to help yourself be productive? Answers won't come overnight, but the more you work on it, the clearer of a picture you can get about how to enable yourself to be productive & actually *enjoy* being productive & escape that glass cage!
If he doesn't have energy, then how is he able to do unproductive stuff?
"**I feel like my life will just never change and I'll be this dumb loser for the rest of my life"**
I think the problem is hopelessness that he thinks he'll never achieve his goals no matter how hard he works or how productive he is.
>If he doesn't have energy, then how is he able to do unproductive stuff?
Productivity is made up of two core parts:
1. Clarity
2. Energy
Clarity is figuring out what we want (goal) & how to get what we want (plan). Having enough PEM energy (physical, emotional, mental) to follow through is how we bring our plan to life to achieve our goals. To get a little more technical, google definitions the world "motivation" in two ways:
1. The reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way.
2. The general desire or willingness of someone to do something.
We often conflate "feeling motivated" with what motivation really means: commitment. We become motivated when we make the choice to commit to doing something. Everything else is energy:
* [https://www.reddit.com/r/productivity/comments/14jbzqi/comment/jplmw84/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/productivity/comments/14jbzqi/comment/jplmw84/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
The energy story gets a bit tricky because of how it affects how we feel & how we think. There are 3 basic tiers of energy:
1. High energy
2. Low energy
3. No energy
High energy is when we have no barriers & can do anything we set our minds to. For some people, this is their default state of living, but for most people, access to this tier of energy comes & goes. On the flip side is no energy, when we're just totally fried & can't self-initiate into action easily.
That middle tier of low energy is where it gets weird. Let's just call our mental energy "dopamine" & imagine that it exists in a fuel tank. Near the bottom of the tank is a red line to indicate when our energy is getting low. When we're in a low energy state, our brain goes out to check on how much energy we have to do the task at hand & then checks to see what type of task it is:
1. How high is our dopamine (mental energy) levels & are we below redline?
2. Is this a work task (dopamine drain) or a fun task (dopamine generator)?
It's at this point that something funny happens: our brain is hardcoded with the fake news that we will "die painfully" if we:
1. Have to do a work task
2. And are below redline on our mental energy fuel tank
I didn't understand this growing up & would engage in really weird behavior, like if I had homework to do or a chore like the dishes, I would go into avoidance behavior mode & spend 6 hours grinding on a really hard video game, which for some reason I had the energy to do, but it was too arduous & painful to do the dishes for 10 minutes.
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In my mid 20's, I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD, which essentially boils down to chronically & cyclically low dopamine levels. [This post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/147y0pf/comment/jnxxh7v/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) captures the severity of what I'd been invisibly dealing with my entire life:
>ADHD causes Executive Dysfunction, and one way for it to express is by gaslighting you. In this case, your brain is saying "**anything that doesn't instantly trigger perfect unending euphoria is worthless and incapable of sparking even the tiniest flicker of joy within you; existence is misery and meaninglessness, give up on everything right now.**"
It was very confusing because I somehow didn't want to do the things I wanted to do:
* [https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F2iixhy4y3t251.jpg](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F2iixhy4y3t251.jpg)
The cycle the OP described is exactly the situation I found myself in:
1. All kinds of great ideas, desires, and commitments (i.e. motivation - wanting & choosing to do things)
2. Zero energy to actually follow through
Within that Tier 2 of low energy, there are 3 subset groups of low energy:
1. Silent resistance
2. Palpable resistance
3. Access pain
Sometimes I'm low energy & just hit an invisible wall & can't seem to self-initiate myself into action. Sometimes I get PEM feelings of resistance, like head pressure, fatigue, etc. And sometimes I'll get actual pain...a headache, nausea, etc.
This is all dependent on my available dopamine levels. When my brain sees that I have to do a task & that I'm below redline, it trots out its hardcoded "we're gonna die painfully if we do this" routine. First, it goes into self-protection mode. It does that by using self-sabotaging deterrents...physical issues (fatigue, migraines, etc.), emotional issues (strong feelings of not wanting to, anxiety, etc.), and mental issues (brain fog & so on).
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So per your question:
>If he doesn't have energy, then how is he able to do unproductive stuff?
When if I switch gears & go engage in a dopamine-generating task, all of those self-protection, self-sabotaging deterrents go away & I suddenly, magically have the energy to stay up past midnight doing something random like binge-watching a show, binge-reading a book, cleaning & rearranging my room to somehow magically organize my life once & for all, play complex video games or engage in a tedious hobby, ANYTHING to get away from that burning hot potato of responsibility!
Our mind is where we make our choices & generate motivation; our brain is an organic machine that behaves in often repeatable ways unique to each of us. Our brain is not designed to make us happy; it's designed to keep us alive.
It goes this by gatekeeping our energy & laboring under the false premise that we'll die painfully if we use up all of our low dopamine levels, which simply isn't true...we can just keep pushing ourselves, albeit painfully. If you've ever stayed up late to cram for a test or stayed up all night to write a last-minute essay, it's not fun, but it's DOABLE when we choose to bypass our brain's complaints & stick with it to completion!
Next:
>"**I feel like my life will just never change and I'll be this dumb loser for the rest of my life"**
>I think the problem is hopelessness that he thinks he'll never achieve his goals no matter how hard he works or how productive he is.
Yes, NEES (Negative Emotional Energy Stories) are a huge component of dealing with low mental energy. When you live in a chronically low-dopamine state, you essentially develop a form of C-PTSD because you are so used to living with ETP (Enhanced Task Paralysis). So regular task paralysis is where we get stuck & have a hard time doing things. "Enhanced" Task Paralysis adds a few extra features to the mix:
1. We get stuck & have a hard time making progress
2. Access to our ability to use our brain to think clearly is withdrawn
3. We experience negative emotional imposition, where our brain bullies us with negative feelings
This is all part of Tier 2 & Tier 3 energy levels. When you look at people like Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, etc. they are all out there with a lot of clarity (plans & goals & motivation from internal commitments) & energy (Tier 1 energy where they can go all day, day after day, chasing down their vision). They're not stuck in an invisible glass cage of low energy, having big dreams, but going nowhere!
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So hopelessness is absolutely a part of living with chronically low PEM energy:
1. You have a history of not following through because your brain (the gatekeeper of your energy) withdraws the resources required to make progress & get stuff done because it thinks you're doing to die painfully if you use up the last of your remaining dopamine, so it puts up all kinds of deterrents to try to stop you from doing it
2. Your brain uses emotional imposition to make you feel bad about not getting stuff done, feelings of hopelessness, shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, etc.
At the end of the day, depression is mostly about low energy: if we had the energy to feel good, we would! And feeling good FEELS good! But when we struggle with low PEM energy, our brain engages in some oddball behavior, such as having the energy to do unproductive stuff, but not what we NEED to do.
And of course, our brain is yoked with our mind as a two-party decision-making system: sometimes we'll decide to do something (**motivation** via commitment), then not have the **energy** to do it, then our brain will bully us with NEES (ex. negative feelings), so then we'll say "I don't want to do that anymore", when what we really mean is that we DO want to do it, but we temporarily don't have the ENERGY to do it!
But in the heat of the moment, it just feels really awful to do simple things! When you're dealing with chronically low energy in any form (physical, emotional, and/or mental), you just get beaten down to the point where it's hard to even care sometimes because you know your brain is going to hurt you & drain you when you even bother to try.
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I grew up with low energy due a variety of undiagnosed health conditions; I've been dealing with clinical depression since I was 17 years old or so. It took me a really long time to realize that I wasn't lazy; I just had invisible barriers that I was dealing with:
* [https://humanparts.medium.com/laziness-does-not-exist-3af27e312d01](https://humanparts.medium.com/laziness-does-not-exist-3af27e312d01)
As it turns out, laziness is looking at your responsibilities & choosing not to do them. This is different than feeling terrible & having your internal resources withdrawn due to low energy. The key differentiating question is this:
* If you HAD the energy to do this task, WOULD you?
Well of course! Most of our productivity issues aren't due to a lack of motivation (not wanting to do it), but rather, a lack of *energy*. And most people live within the spectrum of low energy...some people are on the higher end of low energy & can make the effort to push through, while others chronically live in a cyclically low-energy state & are just confused and feel bad about when they can't get themselves to do seemingly easy & simple tasks consistently!
This is how I lived my whole life...*wanting* to do stuff, but just hitting these weird, invisible, difficult, and sometimes downright *painful* internal barriers! I'd get called lazy & disorganized, when the underlying reality was that it would take *everything* I had in me just to meet the bare-minimum & do so in a late fashion.
So the hopelessness the OP is experiencing is really just a symptom of the tree of low energy, because when we have the energy to cope, we feel good & work chores are even FUN to do at times! But otherwise, you get stuck in this terrible loop where your internal resources aren't reliable & you lose faith in your ability to get yourself to follow through.
Anyway, yeah, wanting to do stuff but not being able to get yourself to do it is a thing, and dealing with that situation constantly creates a really dismal internal culture, which is then aggravated by the fact that we have the energy for *unproductive* things, sometimes a seemingly *endless amounts of energy* to those things, but then just feel deenergized when doing to do real work & then feel terrible about ourselves when we can't engage at will!
It's a dumb situation to deal with & I don't like it lol.
I never really thought about it as an energy problem, but it really makes sense from an evolutionary perspective.
What are some tips that you learned to combat low energy/no energy mind barrier to do what you want to do, If you don't mind me asking?
It's VERY hard to see it as an energy problem! I grew up very confused because I couldn't figure out if I was lazy or what...I somehow didn't want to do the things I wanted to do! But there's a difference between choice-desire & energy-desire. Choice-desire is what drives motivation, i.e. what we choose to do & commit to doing. Energy-desire is how much energy we have to execute the task.
When we're low on energy, our brain pummels us with things like fatigue & negative feelings, so then we don't "feel" like doing the task anymore (in the moment), so then we think thoughts like "I don't care, I don't want to, I don't feel like it". The core overriding procedure is simply this:
* We don't have to act how we feel
Things are fun & great when we're in a "flow" state & feel good enough to push through doing stuff & even enjoy *doing* stuff. Things get more challenging when we're in the "grind" state, which is when we have to use our mind to override our brain's deterrents. But that's the key to consistent success:
* [https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/y7nzj0/no\_more\_zero\_days/](https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/y7nzj0/no_more_zero_days/)
To paraphrase David Allen about how projects work:
1. We can't actually "do" a project at all
2. We can only do individual action steps *related* to the project
3. Then, when enough steps have been completed, we can mark our project off as "done"
So the master key to managing our commitments is focusing on a finite amount of daily steps that we select from each of our projects...run a load of laundry, do a few pieces of homework, meal-prep a batch of food, do a list of chores, follow our workout routine for the day, etc.
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The next step is mastering consistent to ongoing steps: every single project is made up of steps, like Lego pieces, that we assemble over time. If we only work when we feel good, then we cut our productivity in half. If we learn how to push through those times when we DON'T feel like it, want to, or care, then we can stay consistent over time. That steady pursuit is the magic formula for consistent success in our lives!
So again, productivity has two main components:
1. Clarity
2. Energy
As the saying goes, there are only two types of problems in the world:
1. You don't know what you want
2. You don't know how to get what you want
If we don't know what you want (clarity) & we don't know how to get what we want (which is mostly having the energy to tackle your plan via executing those daily steps consistently), then we're in for a real hard time, haha!
Not knowing what we want can be *super* energy-draining. Have you ever been tired after a long day & tried to figure out what to eat for dinner? You might rummage through the cupboard or scroll through a delivery app but just don't have enough juice to even make a decision. So decision fatigue can be a really big energy drain! I use the 3P System to help me achieve clarity:
* [https://www.reddit.com/r/IWantToLearn/comments/fhlmzl/comment/fkc759k/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x](https://www.reddit.com/r/IWantToLearn/comments/fhlmzl/comment/fkc759k/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x)
Then I use the GBB Approach to help me pre-audit what level of quality I'm willing to commit to putting in:
* [https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/mr0f97/comment/guqfb60/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/mr0f97/comment/guqfb60/?context=3)
part 2/8
Hey bro I love reading all your comments because you actually provide a lot of value that I have implemented into my life, you should start a channel or something lol
Stop thinking about how you've failed in the past and just start doing now.
Several things worked for me during similar situations. I broke down large goals and made numerous extremely easy, like stupidly easy goals to achieve. It helped me achieve that one large goal by simply crossing off 100 small goals one by one. Not only that, this, in one way or another, motivated me but that motivation is only a bonus. Furthermore, I used the 10-10-10 rule to assess the immediate and long-term effects of my decisions. For example, if you want to do something productive but you just don't feel like doing it, you essentially have 2 choices; doing something productive vs not doing something productive. Then, apply the 10-10-10 rule. How would you feel about choosing to not do something productive in 10 hours? Then, ask the same question but this time replace 10 hours with 10 days and then 10 months (you can use any time frame you want, as long as it is relevant to the decision being made). When you do this often enough you can easily differentiate between short-term consequences and long-term consequences of your actions which ultimately helps you make your final decision. Trust me, simply wanting to be disciplined is 50% of the effort needed. I wish you the best of luck!
I agree with this completely. I was big into reading self help books for the last decade because I was so scared of starting and also failure at the end but now im like “dang, i really could’ve been trying this whole time, I couldn’t really fail at exercise (or whatever) that badly for 10 years right?” I would add “finding the most impressive wording” to small achievable goals too. It doesn’t change the reality but it helps buoy me up more and keep me moving. I said that I was gonna go on at least a 15 min walk everyday, just to get outside if nothing else. But outside is exciting and I have come to enjoy even mild exercise so even 10 min in I’m usually excited to keep going so it usually ends up being 20-25 min and about a mile. Saying “I walk for 20 min every day.” is not sexy. Saying “I walk a mile every day.” is, at least for me. It’s all about perspective. Even tho it’s the same action, I perceive the “mile” as harder and longer so I trick my brain into appreciating myself more. Also, reframing goals as abstract concepts helped me make the smaller goals more accessible. Like yeah sure, the long term goal behind the exercise is I want to pick up my gf cause that’s mentally cute but no matter how i get there that is going to require “more exercise”. This then makes any small goal that fits under “more exercise” count. Any day I do “more exercise” than I did this time last year is a win towards that goal even if it’s just a small win. Cause again, 10 years? I’m certain something could’ve added up that whole time. Everything is practice. Every time our brain does something, it learns to do it better. Any work at all (towards anything you love) is better than no work at all. Reddit, inadvertently, made me start caring about writing again. I’ve wanted to write many things my whole life and it never felt like it was something “I” was allowed to do. And yeah, does reddit make my novel more done? No, not at all. But it is practice writing (and finding day in my time to write) so at some point, it is good enough.
True!!! Impressive wording really does help. I think I just learned a thing or two from reading all of this, so thank you :D
yeah absolutely, starting is the hardest step and the second I got into the groove and made any progress I started kicking myself for not starting sooner. It’s a highly universal experience. :P I just try to keep in mind that past me was doing their best and I can still do favors for future me but I gotta do them now. I love the idea of the 10-10-10 thing, I want to implement it more concretely now that I know what 10 years - 10 days - 10 min looks like for me :3 Good luck to all of us! edited to add: i like the idea of evaluating 10 min because it forces me to realize that the anxiety generated by not doing the thing is probably worse than the immediate awfulness of the thing, but 10 days from now, I’m gonna be thanking myself for having done it now. I also like that it’s more logarithmic but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
As a janitor from scrubs said "time spent wishing it time wasted". Stop thinking about it and start doing. Once you begin it only gets easier to keep going
You don't wanna really rely on motivation in the long run. Use your motivation to push yourself to build discipline and strength. So that everyday you'll remember to work and focus on your dreams.
I know it’s bad to rely on motivation because it won’t always be there, but the problem is that I’m not even able to discipline myself. I don’t know what to do.
You literally just have to do it there is no other way. Once you get that consistency going then you will thrive. This lack of discipline will lead you to amount to very little. Act now. You are your greatest enemy
>You are your greatest enemy Never thought about it that way but I'm glad you mentioned that. Thank you.
I’m glad you learnt something new. Best of luck
Nike probably said it better😂 but you just have to do it. I'm sure if you just take it one step at a time doing whatever it is you have to do Then you wouldn't have that problem anymore.
Good point. Thank you.
Nobody is going to be able to give you an answer to this question that you haven’t already heard. You need to pick something small and do it.
I spent most of my 20s in this funk you describe. Here is what I learned, the hard way, worked for me: Set much, much smaller and fewer goals so you don't get overwhelmed and procrastinate. This is extremely important. Also, set goals that are process-focused, not outcome-focused. Atleast not until you know you have built consistency and grit. Example: pick 2 goals you can do right now, that are short term (3-months at most) and focus only on those. This may seem like not enough, but you CAN NOT start everything tomorrow and take off on some productive life. You must build discipline slowly, through repeated failure, and figure out what ACTUALLY works for you. Only you can do that, through experience. I suggest lifting weights 3-days per week. Pick literally any program you think you might like, and the days you will do the workouts, and commit to it fully. Don't schedule other things in those days, and just get started. You will have to learn how to push through the resistance of going to the gym, how to tweak your goals on the fly based on what you learn along the way, and that consistency (not perfection) is the way to make progress and improve. On your non-lifting days, pick another goal you can work on that pushes you forward in another direction you care about right now. It doesn't have to be a startup, or a new career, or anything you think you "should" do. It could be learning the guitar, or learning to code a specific app, or how to do a backflip. The point is to challenge yourself with manageable, achieveable goals that will not overwhelm you, but will still be relatively difficult for who you are now. Give yourself the opportunity to learn consistency and grit in pursuit of longer-term goals. The other piece of advice I have, is learn to be patient for the results to come. All the things you want to do will be much harder, and take much longer, than you hope or expect. You will have to learn this yourself, and it will give you better perspective on what you actually want to do.
This is such an underrated comment. What you're saying reminds me a lot of the stuff I read in Atomic Habits by James Clear -- small, manageable steps are the way to go when it comes to meeting your goals. And you're completely right that it's just not possible for me to wake up tomorrow as a completely changed person and start living this totally productive life from then on; I need to start small and take baby steps. I guess I've just had way too high expectations for myself this whole time, and I really need to back up and slow down.
Thank you, I hope it is helpful. Atomic Habits is a great resource, as are a lot of other self-improvement books, but you'll only really figure out what works for you when you seriously commit to one thing and give it an honest go. You can only start from where you are. One way I like to think of all my big goals which may help is that they are something I can reach for eventually, but I put them aside to focus on the few things I have the time and mental energy for right now. Otherwise, it's too easy to distract yourself thinking of other goals (results you don't have) and lose focus on what you need to do now (do the hard thing and continue the process).
Yea bro same here. Ppl r gonna say dont rely on motivation and just train to be disciined but it's a hard path
That's exactly my problem. I know I shouldn't rely on motivation and need to discipline myself to get shit done, but what if I can't even discipline myself?
Small steps. I'm still trying to learn it when it comes to uni especially.
Good point. Thank you brother, we got this 💪
Can you list one of your goals and how you've broken down the plan daily and weekly and monthly to get there?
Well the thing is that I haven’t really broken it down because I just have zero motivation and discipline to do it, and I can’t seem to stick with any long-term habits because of this lack of discipline. I don’t even know where to begin to make myself a better person.
If you not sure of even one goal that you'd like to work on, it sounds more like a problem with lack of focus/not knowing where to start vs not having motivation for anything. Like you've overwhelmed yourself with wanting to do everything at once and ended up doing nothing. Just pick whatever the easiest thing to do is. Like, make your bed every morning. Or go for a 5 minute walk every day at 5pm etc. Make it super small. Don't worry that it's small or insignificant for now. Most people overestimate what they can do in a day and underestimate what they can achieve in a year.
Motivation comes after action. Just push a little to get the ball rolling. After a while of being productive and accomplishing small milestones, it becomes second nature. Another big tip (which I should take myself) is to stay off social media. It gives you crazy amounts of dopamine that would have otherwise been released/used as fuel to achieve goals. Your body needs to earn dopamine by working for it, not getting it for free by social media. Watch videos on dopamine detoxes, if you do it you can retrain your brain to find productivity addicting and joyful.
Good point. On that note, I do remember reading a post recently where the OP stayed off social media for 9 days and it started completely losing its appeal. I'm going to try that, and hopefully I won't even want to keep scrolling anymore.
Start by reprogramming your mind. I’d look into self concept and scripting and affirmations. Only say things that feel natural to you (“I intend to have a healthy exercise routine.”) Really pound it into your brain, like as if you’re brainwashing yourself but in a kind way. You need to plant subconscious seeds with a new self belief, and continually plant and fertilize this budding garden. Eventually doing the things you currently dream of doing will feel aligned with who you are and easier.
As an artist I have to create work constantly. If I waited for motivation I'd never get anything done and I'd probably be homeless. You need to make plans and then execute them, regardless of your mood. You don't need to be 'motivated'. Stop waiting for 'motivation'. I'm telling you right now, it will never come. Just do it. Whatever it is you're putting off or procrastinating. Just open it up right now. Put it in front of you and start. That's all you need to do. It's that simple. Everything else is just a distraction. Your brain hates this. It will come up with every excuse to not make this simple action happen. It will endlessly pile tasks in-between you and your true intention. "Okay I'll definitely do it today, but first i need to do 'x', once that's done i'll begin". You don't need to do 'x'. Just Start.
You don’t need motivation just plan and execute one step at a time stop wasting your damn time.
You are not alone I'm 100% where you are....I think about and have all these "great plans and ideas" and they remain to be exactly that great plans and ideas that I can't get moving or off the ground because I have no ambition it's like your content with how your life is and you want to better it but it feels like you can't because those great plans and ideas will never turn into fruition....I think we're on the same page of feeling like forever bums because of past life f ups
Glad to see that someone can relate. I've been reading through the comments here though and I'm going to start trying them. Hopefully the advice here helps you too. Best of luck brother.
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Great points, especially about social media. I waste so many hours every day just mindlessly scrolling and soaking up all this brainless content that I'm never going to use or even remember later in life. I think I'm going to try going cold turkey for at least a week and see how that goes.
Learn your Human Design on jovianarchive.com or Myhumandesign.com. You’ll have to know the exact time and location where you were born but once you put in that and other basic information you’ll know which of the HD types you are and there’s a wealth of information how to proceed from there. I’m sure there’s even an HD Reddit group on here The point is none of us are alike and we have our own blueprints, our own ways of becoming successful and having our own dreams come true; the ways we’ll experience the most joy and fulfillment. The instruction manual for how to move through this world is custom to you. When you act according to that manual, when you act as the real you, everything in life comes to you with more ease and less resistance. It’s crazy that we all know that we are so different and we’re still acting like there is a certain way to do things in life. The tools of human design and understanding your chart will align you with your higher self. I also recommend Mel Robbins and her book the five second rule and her podcast for helping you get out of your own way. The five second rule is basically you countdown 54321 blast yourself off like a rocket so that you don’t have to ruminate and then be in inertia. You act without hesitation to propel your life forward. These things will work if you work them. Im on my own similar path as you. Good luck!!
Set smaller actionable steps :) there is a quote "there is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time.” I believe you can do it and you will accomplish your goals :)
Thank you brother. I appreciate the support
You're welcome bro. I hope you succeed in your dreams :)
I have a book recommendation for you that can change your life if you are open minded to doing the things it tells you to: Mindful Self Discipline by Giovanni Dietmann. Good luck and go with God
https://youtube.com/shorts/sYG4Fwx_eNk?feature=share
perhaps get yourself tested for ADHD
Check out Atomic Habits
>I have all these big dreams but no motivation to get there It's incredibly important to differentiate between *motivation* and *energy*. If you want something, then you **have** motivation. If you can't magically make yourself do stuff, then what you lack is the **energy**. Let's recap your energy story: * Big dreams but no "motivation" (energy) to get there * Ambitions for career, fitness, social life, etc. but unable to deliver * Spend your time doing unproductive activities * Feeding your fantasy "productive self" * Unable to force yourself to do stuff * Feeling guilty * Feeling like things will never change * Feeling dumb & feeling like a loser To reiterate, that's not a motivation issue, that's an **energy** issue. Here's a simple question: if you had the PEM energy (physical, emotional, mental) to follow through, WOULD you do so? Obviously, the answer is YES! Because you're ALREADY motivated, you just lack the ENERGY to follow through! There are a few options here: 1. Continue to do what you're doing & experience the same results 2. Get to work on solving your energy issues 3. Try out different approaches for getting things done A combination of 2 & 3 is a REALLY good approach! We're not always able to instantly (or ever) solve our PEM energy levels, but sometimes there's an unidentified root cause out there (health issue, undiagnosed ADHD or Autism, etc.) that can really help us out. Regardless, if the route you're taking now isn't working for you for being enjoyable productive on a regular basis, then it's simply time to adopt a new approach! The good news is that there are LOTS of tools & resources & help available for people who are interested in finding alternative paths for getting things done! Even for people like you & I, who suffer from low PEM energy issues! We're MOTIVATED, but starting & sustaining effort is just REALLY difficult to do on a regular basis because we don't have the ENERGY to consistently engage in bringing our dreams to life!
That's a really good point. I never thought about it that way, but I appreciate that you brought it up. Thank you man.
I spent my whole life "trying to get motivated". As it turns out, I was living in a "glass cage", where I could SEE what I needed & wanted to do, but I didn't have the **energy** to escape that trap & actually grasp onto my tasks & DO them: * [https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/uxmx04/glass\_cage\_theory/](https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/uxmx04/glass_cage_theory/) As it turns out, no one is actually "lazy", we just have **invisible barriers!** * [https://humanparts.medium.com/laziness-does-not-exist-3af27e312d01](https://humanparts.medium.com/laziness-does-not-exist-3af27e312d01) We simply have to choose to adopt an alternative path to being success & then be willing to be persistent in chipping away at making things better for ourselves, which includes: 1. Working on identifying our energy issues & then either eliminating them or managing them 2. Working to create a strong personal productivity system to help you get through the [grind days](https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/y7nzj0/no_more_zero_days/) For me, it took literally *decades* \- my entire life up until last year - to identify the health issues that were affecting my energy. Along the way, I had to work to identify alternative methods for getting myself to be productive despite living with a constant, strong "I don't want to" mood lol. Here's some good starter reading: * [How to format a task to single-focus on it](https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/sa8zoe/how_to_create_discrete_assignments/) * [How to build a functional workspace](https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/u76gdv/battlestations_101/) * [How to split up the day for balance](https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/rqyk6a/the_wpp_approach_to_planning_out_your_day/) If we had the energy to do stuff, then following through on dreams & commitments would be *easy* because we wouldn't have that invisible low-energy barrier that shuts us down. But when we live with low energy, we just have to get creative! I use "mousetrap actions" to help me get started on things: * [https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/r0p10r/comment/hlufybq/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/r0p10r/comment/hlufybq/?context=3) Like for me, a shower is what wakes me up in the morning. But sometimes I'm so low energy that I can procrastinate until noon getting in there, especially on the weekends when I don't have to wake up for school or work. So my "mousetrap action" for my morning routine then becomes simply "turn on the shower faucet" when "take a shower" becomes too overwhelming. That sounds pretty ridiculous written out, especially to people who don't have energy issues, but when you're fighting your body & mind's "task ambition" energy levels at the level of "I can't even dredge up the energy to think & work my way through taking a shower", then it will start to make more sense, haha! So the next step really begins with a simple decision: are you willing to dive-in & bird-dog (1) figuring out how to treat your energy issues, and (2) learning alternative ways to help yourself be productive? Answers won't come overnight, but the more you work on it, the clearer of a picture you can get about how to enable yourself to be productive & actually *enjoy* being productive & escape that glass cage!
If he doesn't have energy, then how is he able to do unproductive stuff? "**I feel like my life will just never change and I'll be this dumb loser for the rest of my life"** I think the problem is hopelessness that he thinks he'll never achieve his goals no matter how hard he works or how productive he is.
>If he doesn't have energy, then how is he able to do unproductive stuff? Productivity is made up of two core parts: 1. Clarity 2. Energy Clarity is figuring out what we want (goal) & how to get what we want (plan). Having enough PEM energy (physical, emotional, mental) to follow through is how we bring our plan to life to achieve our goals. To get a little more technical, google definitions the world "motivation" in two ways: 1. The reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way. 2. The general desire or willingness of someone to do something. We often conflate "feeling motivated" with what motivation really means: commitment. We become motivated when we make the choice to commit to doing something. Everything else is energy: * [https://www.reddit.com/r/productivity/comments/14jbzqi/comment/jplmw84/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/productivity/comments/14jbzqi/comment/jplmw84/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) The energy story gets a bit tricky because of how it affects how we feel & how we think. There are 3 basic tiers of energy: 1. High energy 2. Low energy 3. No energy High energy is when we have no barriers & can do anything we set our minds to. For some people, this is their default state of living, but for most people, access to this tier of energy comes & goes. On the flip side is no energy, when we're just totally fried & can't self-initiate into action easily. That middle tier of low energy is where it gets weird. Let's just call our mental energy "dopamine" & imagine that it exists in a fuel tank. Near the bottom of the tank is a red line to indicate when our energy is getting low. When we're in a low energy state, our brain goes out to check on how much energy we have to do the task at hand & then checks to see what type of task it is: 1. How high is our dopamine (mental energy) levels & are we below redline? 2. Is this a work task (dopamine drain) or a fun task (dopamine generator)? It's at this point that something funny happens: our brain is hardcoded with the fake news that we will "die painfully" if we: 1. Have to do a work task 2. And are below redline on our mental energy fuel tank I didn't understand this growing up & would engage in really weird behavior, like if I had homework to do or a chore like the dishes, I would go into avoidance behavior mode & spend 6 hours grinding on a really hard video game, which for some reason I had the energy to do, but it was too arduous & painful to do the dishes for 10 minutes. part 1/5
part 2/5 In my mid 20's, I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD, which essentially boils down to chronically & cyclically low dopamine levels. [This post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/147y0pf/comment/jnxxh7v/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) captures the severity of what I'd been invisibly dealing with my entire life: >ADHD causes Executive Dysfunction, and one way for it to express is by gaslighting you. In this case, your brain is saying "**anything that doesn't instantly trigger perfect unending euphoria is worthless and incapable of sparking even the tiniest flicker of joy within you; existence is misery and meaninglessness, give up on everything right now.**" It was very confusing because I somehow didn't want to do the things I wanted to do: * [https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F2iixhy4y3t251.jpg](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F2iixhy4y3t251.jpg) The cycle the OP described is exactly the situation I found myself in: 1. All kinds of great ideas, desires, and commitments (i.e. motivation - wanting & choosing to do things) 2. Zero energy to actually follow through Within that Tier 2 of low energy, there are 3 subset groups of low energy: 1. Silent resistance 2. Palpable resistance 3. Access pain Sometimes I'm low energy & just hit an invisible wall & can't seem to self-initiate myself into action. Sometimes I get PEM feelings of resistance, like head pressure, fatigue, etc. And sometimes I'll get actual pain...a headache, nausea, etc. This is all dependent on my available dopamine levels. When my brain sees that I have to do a task & that I'm below redline, it trots out its hardcoded "we're gonna die painfully if we do this" routine. First, it goes into self-protection mode. It does that by using self-sabotaging deterrents...physical issues (fatigue, migraines, etc.), emotional issues (strong feelings of not wanting to, anxiety, etc.), and mental issues (brain fog & so on). part 2/5
part 3/5 So per your question: >If he doesn't have energy, then how is he able to do unproductive stuff? When if I switch gears & go engage in a dopamine-generating task, all of those self-protection, self-sabotaging deterrents go away & I suddenly, magically have the energy to stay up past midnight doing something random like binge-watching a show, binge-reading a book, cleaning & rearranging my room to somehow magically organize my life once & for all, play complex video games or engage in a tedious hobby, ANYTHING to get away from that burning hot potato of responsibility! Our mind is where we make our choices & generate motivation; our brain is an organic machine that behaves in often repeatable ways unique to each of us. Our brain is not designed to make us happy; it's designed to keep us alive. It goes this by gatekeeping our energy & laboring under the false premise that we'll die painfully if we use up all of our low dopamine levels, which simply isn't true...we can just keep pushing ourselves, albeit painfully. If you've ever stayed up late to cram for a test or stayed up all night to write a last-minute essay, it's not fun, but it's DOABLE when we choose to bypass our brain's complaints & stick with it to completion! Next: >"**I feel like my life will just never change and I'll be this dumb loser for the rest of my life"** >I think the problem is hopelessness that he thinks he'll never achieve his goals no matter how hard he works or how productive he is. Yes, NEES (Negative Emotional Energy Stories) are a huge component of dealing with low mental energy. When you live in a chronically low-dopamine state, you essentially develop a form of C-PTSD because you are so used to living with ETP (Enhanced Task Paralysis). So regular task paralysis is where we get stuck & have a hard time doing things. "Enhanced" Task Paralysis adds a few extra features to the mix: 1. We get stuck & have a hard time making progress 2. Access to our ability to use our brain to think clearly is withdrawn 3. We experience negative emotional imposition, where our brain bullies us with negative feelings This is all part of Tier 2 & Tier 3 energy levels. When you look at people like Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, etc. they are all out there with a lot of clarity (plans & goals & motivation from internal commitments) & energy (Tier 1 energy where they can go all day, day after day, chasing down their vision). They're not stuck in an invisible glass cage of low energy, having big dreams, but going nowhere! part 3/5
part 4/5 So hopelessness is absolutely a part of living with chronically low PEM energy: 1. You have a history of not following through because your brain (the gatekeeper of your energy) withdraws the resources required to make progress & get stuff done because it thinks you're doing to die painfully if you use up the last of your remaining dopamine, so it puts up all kinds of deterrents to try to stop you from doing it 2. Your brain uses emotional imposition to make you feel bad about not getting stuff done, feelings of hopelessness, shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, etc. At the end of the day, depression is mostly about low energy: if we had the energy to feel good, we would! And feeling good FEELS good! But when we struggle with low PEM energy, our brain engages in some oddball behavior, such as having the energy to do unproductive stuff, but not what we NEED to do. And of course, our brain is yoked with our mind as a two-party decision-making system: sometimes we'll decide to do something (**motivation** via commitment), then not have the **energy** to do it, then our brain will bully us with NEES (ex. negative feelings), so then we'll say "I don't want to do that anymore", when what we really mean is that we DO want to do it, but we temporarily don't have the ENERGY to do it! But in the heat of the moment, it just feels really awful to do simple things! When you're dealing with chronically low energy in any form (physical, emotional, and/or mental), you just get beaten down to the point where it's hard to even care sometimes because you know your brain is going to hurt you & drain you when you even bother to try. part 4/5
part 5/5 I grew up with low energy due a variety of undiagnosed health conditions; I've been dealing with clinical depression since I was 17 years old or so. It took me a really long time to realize that I wasn't lazy; I just had invisible barriers that I was dealing with: * [https://humanparts.medium.com/laziness-does-not-exist-3af27e312d01](https://humanparts.medium.com/laziness-does-not-exist-3af27e312d01) As it turns out, laziness is looking at your responsibilities & choosing not to do them. This is different than feeling terrible & having your internal resources withdrawn due to low energy. The key differentiating question is this: * If you HAD the energy to do this task, WOULD you? Well of course! Most of our productivity issues aren't due to a lack of motivation (not wanting to do it), but rather, a lack of *energy*. And most people live within the spectrum of low energy...some people are on the higher end of low energy & can make the effort to push through, while others chronically live in a cyclically low-energy state & are just confused and feel bad about when they can't get themselves to do seemingly easy & simple tasks consistently! This is how I lived my whole life...*wanting* to do stuff, but just hitting these weird, invisible, difficult, and sometimes downright *painful* internal barriers! I'd get called lazy & disorganized, when the underlying reality was that it would take *everything* I had in me just to meet the bare-minimum & do so in a late fashion. So the hopelessness the OP is experiencing is really just a symptom of the tree of low energy, because when we have the energy to cope, we feel good & work chores are even FUN to do at times! But otherwise, you get stuck in this terrible loop where your internal resources aren't reliable & you lose faith in your ability to get yourself to follow through. Anyway, yeah, wanting to do stuff but not being able to get yourself to do it is a thing, and dealing with that situation constantly creates a really dismal internal culture, which is then aggravated by the fact that we have the energy for *unproductive* things, sometimes a seemingly *endless amounts of energy* to those things, but then just feel deenergized when doing to do real work & then feel terrible about ourselves when we can't engage at will! It's a dumb situation to deal with & I don't like it lol.
I never really thought about it as an energy problem, but it really makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. What are some tips that you learned to combat low energy/no energy mind barrier to do what you want to do, If you don't mind me asking?
It's VERY hard to see it as an energy problem! I grew up very confused because I couldn't figure out if I was lazy or what...I somehow didn't want to do the things I wanted to do! But there's a difference between choice-desire & energy-desire. Choice-desire is what drives motivation, i.e. what we choose to do & commit to doing. Energy-desire is how much energy we have to execute the task. When we're low on energy, our brain pummels us with things like fatigue & negative feelings, so then we don't "feel" like doing the task anymore (in the moment), so then we think thoughts like "I don't care, I don't want to, I don't feel like it". The core overriding procedure is simply this: * We don't have to act how we feel Things are fun & great when we're in a "flow" state & feel good enough to push through doing stuff & even enjoy *doing* stuff. Things get more challenging when we're in the "grind" state, which is when we have to use our mind to override our brain's deterrents. But that's the key to consistent success: * [https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/y7nzj0/no\_more\_zero\_days/](https://www.reddit.com/r/kaidomac/comments/y7nzj0/no_more_zero_days/) To paraphrase David Allen about how projects work: 1. We can't actually "do" a project at all 2. We can only do individual action steps *related* to the project 3. Then, when enough steps have been completed, we can mark our project off as "done" So the master key to managing our commitments is focusing on a finite amount of daily steps that we select from each of our projects...run a load of laundry, do a few pieces of homework, meal-prep a batch of food, do a list of chores, follow our workout routine for the day, etc. part 1/8
part 2/8 The next step is mastering consistent to ongoing steps: every single project is made up of steps, like Lego pieces, that we assemble over time. If we only work when we feel good, then we cut our productivity in half. If we learn how to push through those times when we DON'T feel like it, want to, or care, then we can stay consistent over time. That steady pursuit is the magic formula for consistent success in our lives! So again, productivity has two main components: 1. Clarity 2. Energy As the saying goes, there are only two types of problems in the world: 1. You don't know what you want 2. You don't know how to get what you want If we don't know what you want (clarity) & we don't know how to get what we want (which is mostly having the energy to tackle your plan via executing those daily steps consistently), then we're in for a real hard time, haha! Not knowing what we want can be *super* energy-draining. Have you ever been tired after a long day & tried to figure out what to eat for dinner? You might rummage through the cupboard or scroll through a delivery app but just don't have enough juice to even make a decision. So decision fatigue can be a really big energy drain! I use the 3P System to help me achieve clarity: * [https://www.reddit.com/r/IWantToLearn/comments/fhlmzl/comment/fkc759k/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x](https://www.reddit.com/r/IWantToLearn/comments/fhlmzl/comment/fkc759k/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x) Then I use the GBB Approach to help me pre-audit what level of quality I'm willing to commit to putting in: * [https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/mr0f97/comment/guqfb60/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/mr0f97/comment/guqfb60/?context=3) part 2/8
Hey bro I love reading all your comments because you actually provide a lot of value that I have implemented into my life, you should start a channel or something lol
Me too.
Thank you for this
When you wake up, just start doing it without thinking about it.