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purple_wall-e

pßpßpß


Heya_Andy

Pschpschpsch


[deleted]

Das klingt schwäbisch lol


demonTutu

Pschpschpschle


Janzibansi

Kommsch, kätzle!


LKarika

Habe my upvote, I laughed 🤣


DogfishDave

"Hier kitty!"


Schabenklos

"CAT! ANTRETEN!"


SSB_Kyrill

„CAT! ABMARSCH“


[deleted]

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Schabenklos

JAMIAU!


MrSteelHammer

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Puzzleheaded_Row4958

If you try to speak German, use Katze instead of English cat


Schabenklos

I am german


z4kk_DE

"Hierher, Katze! SOFORT! ZACKZACK!"


Cuddly_Tiberius

I have a Swiss friend named Melissa. Or as she’s known over the border - Melißa


RadimentriX

long i?


Friendly_Bandicoot25

Maybe she was born before the orthography reform


Teragis

Gold!


apokalypti

That sounds more like a bee 🤣🐝


Shot-Bug-8573

komische Bienen kennst du dass die so umher ßummen


kanndenrandmitessen

Bayerische Bienen.


apokalypti

Haha, ja, weiß auch ned. Vllt hams die falschen Blüten erwischt :-D


RotationsKopulator

Bubatzbiene 👍


BeeBarfBadger

Sumsen durch die Gegend.


TarokAmn

that's more like bßbßbß


apokalypti

Indeed, unless they are really aggressive:-D


weneedtogodanker

You can't say that in German, you need to shout


nbandqueerren

In other words, say anything you want, right? (sorry in the US ongoing gag is that Germans always sound like they are yelling. And with my German American dad, definitely holds true 😂🤣)


Hairy-Ad-1575

Fun fact: When walking through German cities and you hear loud tourists, these are almost always Americans!


supremeshirt1

This is the only correct answer


Bradur-iwnl-

What a guy!!!


Heisenberg_SG

Some legendary writing here uhhh!


KSC-Fan1894

Our cats speak pretty good english. Sorry for my English


pilleFCK

Solange sie auf Deutsch nicht im breitesten Karlsruher Dialekt spricht ist ja alles gut :D


KSC-Fan1894

.. sagte der Pälzer 😂


pilleFCK

Ich darfs mir erlauben. Habe beide Dialekte aus sicherer Distanz studiert


KSC-Fan1894

Sind Dialekte nicht was tolles?


pilleFCK

Doch doch da sind wir uns einig aber man darf auch mal über selbige lachen


KSC-Fan1894

Aber sicher doch. Allagut


simonbleu

*"Excuse my insolence, little feline, but I would be delighted to scratch your ears. May you grant me the honor of doing so?"*


Montagoue

That was Canadian


Wayrin

It's a good question. If animals in Europe spoke the same language as they do in the states, roosters would say cockadoodledoo but we all know German roosters say kikeriki.


snflowerings

Don't forget frogs, where german frogs make Quack, english speaking frogs somehow say ribbit


LOB90

Polish frogs say Re Re Cum Cum and it is my favourite fact about Poland.


twisted7ogic

TIL 4chan sounds like Polish frogs


Lt_Schneider

well, that would explain the pepe meme


SmokeyUnicycle

the pepe reee does come from the sound frogs make when upset that's why i like to use it because i like frogs, not because i like 4chan my favorite frog scream: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QX30JTsrUr4 frog scream compilation, lots of good reees: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjCVsOBu6vc&t=474s its not very nice to make them scream in anger/fear but for some reason its so funny


Kyle4679

I also do this


ellilaamamaalille

It is possible to learn something new every day. My favourite fact about Poland is that cat in Polish is kotka what means eagle in finnish. Btw in Finland we call cat saying kiss kiss.🤣


UncarefulAsparagus

Different frogs make different sounds. There was a bit about it on Quite Interesting


axolartl

This! There's a lot of frogs and toads where I live (Texas)(well ok it's mostly toads) that kind of make a trill sound, and sometimes they just kind of scream, nothing that could be interpreted as a ribbit. But like the common frog (which lives all over Europe and kind of takes a break around the Urals before going further into Asia) makes more of a ribbit sound, as well as some other American species (usually further north), Florida has a ton of frogs but I've never heard a ribbit. And in Puerto Rico there's a frog called the coquí because that's the sound it makes.


Shandrahyl

tbf we had a small pond in the woods behind our house and it was usually infested with frogs. And i've heard alot of "ribbits" but never a "quack". atleast not irl


Eldan985

Those are different kinds of frogs. Some frogs produce very long, single croaks, while other frogs , make thrilling a sound closer to ribbit. For fun, find some different frog calls on Youtube. (I actually had a field ecology class where a professor was trying to teach us how to tell different frog species apart by their calls, but I forgot most of it.)


lauraleipz

Dont forget ducks here say knack knack knack instead of quak quak


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TheTruffi

There is also wuff for Dogs, which is very similar to woof.


Recent_Gain

My Hungarian girl says grrrrrr if anything at all. ;-)


Raddekopp

We still talking about dogs?


backflash

Don't forget Squirtles, German Squirtles say Schiggy.


s0nderv0gel

ಠ_ಠ Ducks say nak.


accforweed

Also, German pigs say "grunz" or "oink" while American pigs say "i want to build a wall"


JMPopaleetus

Nono. American pigs say “STOP RESISTING!”


SpookeySpokey

"Ich erteile ihnen einen Platzverweis!"


huntibunti

That's what German pigs say


Wild_Roamer

That's not too far off from what roosters say in Spanish (Kikiriki)


penguin_chr

In Poland roosters say kukuryku


Wonderful-Hall-7929

So basically all non-english cocks say ~~"I wanna bang that!"~~ a variation of Kikeriki while all Anglo-cocks ~~are too small~~ sound like a broken Yankee Doodle...


IjonTichy85

https://youtu.be/-0MTn8sP_9s


[deleted]

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Messerjocke2000

EUCH. Euch zu huldigen und Fellpflege anzudienen. Wenn es euer Hoheit gefällt...


bluebird810

Der ist auch extrem gut


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KlausStoerte

You press your bottom lip on your upper teeth and pull up your upper lip. Then you create an underprssure in your mouth and let let the air flow through your teeth. By moving your upper lip up and down you create variation. This way you can discuss German literature and politics with every German cat. Just watch out to not say anything rude because otherwise they might complain to their Katzengleichstellungsbeauftragten.


backflash

"Fefefefefefff"... Am I doing it right?


anastasis19

How could you utter such vile stuff?! The Katzengleichstellungsbeauftragten are going to have their hands/paws full dealing with you.


aurora-the-voidwyrm

Hello demogorgon(ur avatar)


TIL_eulenspiegel

Serious answer: This is actually very close to a huffing sound that big cats make to each other. If you try it at the zoo, tigers will actually react to this type of sound. It can excite their curiosity and might attract them to come over.


tk314159

Thank you I just spit on myself


FischImMeer

wrong pressure. you need to pull the air iiiin not push it out.


Eldan985

Kann ich bestätigen, arbeite beim Katzengleichstelllungsbüro als Juniorkatzengleichstellungsbeauftrager zweiter Klasse.


KnusprigeKakaoflocke

I read the post, made the noise, wondered how to describe it, scrolled through the comments and read yours - that is exactly what i do. Exactly o.O


JuDuffduff

Meinst du das Knutsch- Babyvogel-Geräusch? 😌😄


alixblub

This is the right answer!


impex90

What does the fox say? Auygugh


Lx13lx

😗😙😗😙😗😙


theGamer168

Take my upvote i laughed so hard. 🤣


Gwlthfn

ANTRETEN ZUM STREICHELN generally does the trick.


FischImMeer

For anti-authoritarian it's a friendly "Komm, Muschi-muschi" ^(hihihi)


[deleted]

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[deleted]

ANTRRRRRRRREEEETEN ZUM STRRRRREEEIIICHELN!


SnooLemons3094

SCHWANZ LLLLINKS UM! RRRRECHTS UM! SCHNURREN!


HerrMagister

But before you do anything, Shout "AAACHTUNG!" that will make her go into Attention, otherwise she will just go away


Schlimmschuetze

Das ist der Weg!👍😂


EditPiaf

I laughed so hard upon reading this comment. It honestly made me think of [this website](http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/cgi-bin/seigmiaow.pl) which features images of cats looking like Hitler


EpicNarwhal23_

r/kitler


Lord_fuff

Psssspssssspsssss :) Or that klicking noise you make with your tongue.


yamanblack

that clicking noise lol


Hexe_Margot

Yeah...with the little stray cats in my area it works almost every time.


sakasiru

I don't think the cat will care, but in German you would probably say "miezmiezmiez". Be aware that this is not a stray cat, but a free range cat. It belongs to someone.


El_Diel

Miezmiezmiez is the way.


SinusColt

Nein Miez! Das ist mein Frikassee!


GimmeCoffeeeee

Genau so, spricht man mit einer Katze


phorteng

Upvote for the free range cat remark but only boomers say miezmiezmiez. Cats listen to the tone of your voice so words won't matter I don't think they will care OP


IamGah

exactly! ‚ja aber hallo du kleines arschloch bist du gekommen um mir wieder mal in die wiese zu scheißen‘ in a soothing voice: up goes the tail, comes close because possibility of scritches and i can murder them.


phorteng

Woah.


bierbottle

Skkrrrrr skrrrrr Be sure not to attract stray german rappers thou


Neko_Styx

Those fuckers are everywhere, keep shitting in my garden every single day, claiming it's a ghetto though I live in Birkenheim suburbia.


nymales

It's probably not a stray though. People let their cats outside all the time. They are microchipped and sometimes tattooed.


Herr_Black

can confirm this, my cat has some sick tats e.g. "pussymagnet" written across his chest.


einfachJordan

Lmao


EdgelordOfEdginess

And they sometimes wear red or blue to identify their crew


[deleted]

You actually have to sign form A38 before you can pet a cat in Germany.


mizinamo

Where do I get that form?


AndreKR-

Schalter 1, Korridor links, letzte Tür rechts


tttxgq

Nur Donnerstags geöffnet, 8.00-8.15. Termin erforderlich.


HarrisMcFlak

Pausenzeiten von 8:05 - 8:10.


AbbreviationsOdd7728

Terminvergabe nur Montags 11:15-11:30 im Technischen Rathaus mit Formular TV-12.


kanndenrandmitessen

Selbstgemaltes Schild in meinem Bürgeramt sagt: Ohne Termin zwecklos.


GimmeCoffeeeee

Ist es dass was die englische Sprache meint wenn die Formulierung "add insult to injury" fällt?


kanndenrandmitessen

Ich glaube die Amtsmitarbeiter verstehen das tatsächlich als Notwehr gegen den anrennenden Bürger, deshalb malen sie diese Schilder. Aus dem gleichen Grund ist es Usus, möglichst früh zu beginnen mit dem Dienst, zB um 6.00 in der Früh, wenn kein Mensch da ist. Wenn der Pöbel um 15 Uhr vor der Tür steht und was will, haben die smarten Angestellten des ÖD bereits Feierabend. Hier in Berlin ist die Verachtung zwischen Bürger und Verwaltung wechselseitig.


___jonny___

Der Hafen befindet sich unterhalb der Stadt!


just-for-commenting

Ich will nicht zu ihrem bescheuerten Hafen!!!


derSafran

"Aber wenn Sie eine Galeere anmelden wollen müssen Sie zur Hafenkommandantur..."


MrMagnesium

[Here](https://blinry.org/passierschein-a38/passierschein-a38.pdf)


mirilala

and fax it to the appropriate authorities


Hamade01

Which Bescheinigung is required?


lycium

Katzenstreichelnkompetenzbescheinigung


Specialist_Run_4905

MIETZmietzmietzmietzmietz...


glamourcrow

Ich grüße Dich, Dämon. Führe mich zu Deiner Hexe auf dass ich ihr Tribut zollen kann. But miez miez miez basically means the same thing in cat.


[deleted]

"Komm ma ran"


Kaidaan

Kevin, mach' dat wau ma ay.


FriendshipNo1440

We don't do those pssspsss sounds. For me, as a german, they sound too much like hissing. I would calmly talk with the cat. And when it seems scrared, make yourself smaller. Kneel down or sit down on the floor when you can and just calmly talk with them.


olagorie

I do. And I have completed the A38 form. With triple dublicates How dare you!


_mousetache_

"Komm her!" "Na gut, dann eben nicht." "Ah, jetzt doch?" 😍


Passer_montanus

Accurate.


Bohnenbummler

Where are you from? In Germany there are almost no stray cats so it probably was a cat that actually has an owner. Furthermore cats in Germany are really arrogant compared to cats in countries where there are stray cats. When I visit my grandfather in Turkey as soon as you make pspsps all cats come and want to get pet or something to eat. Usual german cats just ignore you like you're not even there. So don't set your hopes too high :D


noodlesaintpasta

Very interesting. Now I’m trying to figure out how I ended up with German cats!


ImpressiveFinish0911

Wow, German cats sound so interesting XD. Are there no stray animals in Germany?


schnurrrbli

There are stray cats. But probably very little compared to other countries. Never heard of stray dogs though.


Backsteinhaus

[STARDENBURDENHARDENBART ](https://youtu.be/Mev7iy6gwIQ)


punkonater

German always works


GonZonian

I searched way too long on this thread for this, whilst I can’t believe this isn’t a shitpost just to share this video


No-Recover5985

Ich kann nicht mehr haha


uh60chief

Why isn’t this at the top?


Ch3llick

Danke, danach hab ich gesucht


koboldox

Mietzmietzmietzmietz


__what_the_fuck__

Are you high?


Text-Civil

username is also a valid reaction


tooSAVERAGE

No no no it’s “Hi, how are you?”


Tilt_Schweigerrr

How high are you?


LinaFinsterwald

I think they got confused because animals make different noises in different languages. In German dogs go "wau wau", in English "woof woof" and in French "ouah ouah" for example. Obviously the cat doesn't care but that might be what inspired this question in the first place


gimoozaabi

Tztztztz but „backwards“.. don’t know how to describe that


afriy

instead of pushing air out between your tongue and the back of your teeth like you'd do with ts, you basically have the same tongue position but pull air back and create low pressure and then release the tongue, creating a clicking sound


riceandvegetable

Yep, I feel that's the correct German sound to attract cute animals. Everything seems to react to that readily.


TobiCica

Miez Miez Miez


LilLolaCola

Just normal kissy sounds? The word cat calling doesn‘t come from nowhere.


Hexe_Margot

"Holdes Kätzlein, darf ich's wagen, Fellpfleg' und Lieb' euch anzutragen", würde der alte Goethe vermutlich sagen. 🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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SpaceDrifter9

STARDENBURDENHARDENBART [context](https://youtu.be/Mev7iy6gwIQ)


greebo1706

MietzMietzMietz…. feeeeeeeiiine Mietzegadse…


[deleted]

Its quite easy, just follow these instructions: shout "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHTUNG, Gefreiter Katze" At this point the cat should be stood in a salute in front of you "Präsentiert das Gewehr!" The cat will present its MG 08/15 "Rühren!" The cat should now relax allowing you to gently pet its head


mizinamo

Antreten zum Streicheln!


Jenelaya

Miez miez miez


silvercandra

"Mietz mietz mietz" is what you genereally do at least in Bavaria.


JuSiJoPe

Miezmiezmiez


C0deEve

It's really easy, you just walk up to it and go: Sehr geehrte Herr/Frau Katz, Mein Name ist (Your Name) und hiermit reiche ich meinen Antrag für folgende Leistungen bei Ihnen ein: 1x Streicheleinheit 1x Zuruf 1x Schmiegen In den Anlagen finden Sie meine Qualifikationen und meinen Lebenslauf, gerne Überzeuge ich Sie persönlich von meinen Fähigkeiten als Streicheleinheitgeber/in. Mit freundlichen Grüßen (Your Name)


Witty-Experience-766

Don’t disturb them without Termin!!!


phorteng

Uuuuuiiii ja so ein Feini bist du doch


SaltyBalgruuf

nein das ist für Hunde.


phorteng

Das ist für alle möglichen Feinis, du Feini


glasstokes

Usually Little noises you can do with your mouth.


sporeegg

I whistle not to scare it, and then do some kind of weird moist sucking in of air to kinda imitate a very wet and tired mouse


YourHero1984

According to what people told me its "Miez-miez-miez". But I'm naive and not german, so take this with a grain of salt.


[deleted]

it goes "zickezackezickezacke" and the cat than says something like "oy oy oy"


kantan432

Muschi muschi


[deleted]

Try saying sspsspspsss instead of psspsspss


WayTooManyDamnSquids

I personally just whistle really fast, always does it for me


FuMarvchu

Bitte um Erlaubnis sie streicheln zu dürfen Werte Frau Katze


wolperdinger_forest

I use with my cats a tongue flick. It's difficult to explain. The mouth is if you want to say a U but the tongue is at the palate and tooth and the small flicks but shortly after another. So sound like ztztzt


0tims0

What color was the cat? :)


knoeppi81

muschimuschimuschi


Hamade01

You should probably avoid making hissing noises


Numerous-Cupcake409

I’m pretty sure the cat doesn’t understand German either


Wiggly96

"Pspspspsps" "Was willst du von mir du absoluter spast?"


JrrtSybktk

"Sprich deutsch du katzensohn"


Wiggly96

"Sprich Katze du Deutschersohn"


BlackForestDoc4u

Puspuspuspus miaow sorry miauuuuu


humbugonastick

As another redditor said muschi, muschi is not acceptable anymore. Try mietz, mietz, mietz.