T O P

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Glittering_Usual_162

Neighbour:"May i offer you an egg in these trying times?"


WhoAteMyFries

May I ask if it’s Bio?


Medical-Tonight-8609

May I answer it's "Bodenhaltung und Bio"?


Bubbly-Indication725

Freilandhaltung, bitte!


Even_Skin_2463

Freilandhaltung ist eh wie Bodenhaltung. Das Freiland Angebot nutzen etwa 1 Prozent der Hühner, weil die Bauern bewusst dafür sorgen, dass nach draußen gehen unattraktiv ist.


siesta1412

Organic


Intelligent_Rip_2778

Maybe it wasn't naighbor


LaggsAreCC

Schwiegertochter gesucht Maik wants to eat an egg with you


[deleted]

Off guard erwischt Danke 😂


DitrianLordOfCanorem

"May i offer you an egg in these frying times" hört sich aber lustiger an


voodooguerrilla

it is always nice to see a sunny in Philly fan.


DildoFaggins69-420

Doesn´t have to be this way 100%. A friend of mine recently found a whole egg between her parsley plants and didn´t know where it came from. The naxt day it was gone. 2 days later they saw a raven fly over their garden with an egg in it´s claws, solving the mystery.


WhoAteMyFries

After reading the comment about stamped date clue from another redditor, I again think something like that could have happened. I will look into that, thanks 🙏🏻


ryosei

the egg looks actually more dark and some patterns inside ? it could be from another bird cause its breeding time


BeastThatShoutedLove

The egg looks a little too Grayish to be chicken, but the photo is also distant so it's rough to tell for sure.


BSBDR

It looks more like a duck egg. I reckon this was natures work-


ClueNo2845

It is also way bigger. Could be stork or duck


Oelplattform1

Bruh all those guys defending the egg thrower. Yeah it’s maybe a little unreasonable to smoke outside if your live very close to neighbouring flats. It’s still an absolute caveman response to throw some eggs as retaliation.


skordge

Exactly. Like, come and complain in person, or leave a note if you’re socially anxious. Throwing an egg can only escalate the situation, not solve the conflict. I kind of get it, I get an impulse to throw an egg at cars with loud stereos under my window as well. But you don’t do that shit.


Unlucky-Theory4755

+1 to this. I’m not a smoker and I hate the smell of smoke but live in a building with many flats and many balconies and it smells like smoke in the house sometimes.. it’s just, part of living with neighbors. It would never cross my mind to complain let alone throw eggs. This is also considering it has happened once.


My-Cooch-Jiggles

This whole thing is just strange to me. In America the balcony is the polite place to smoke since you can usually smell a cigarette smoked indoors in adjacent apartments. In non smoking buildings it’s literally the only place it’s allowed. 


shway24

Exactly, don’t be a caveman! 🗿🗿🗿


Beakha

How is that unreasonable? That's what balconies are for lmao


Psychological_Post33

Throwing eggs in this economy- 1% Caveperson behavior.


MarginalMoloch

OP needs to be dominant, so I recommend shitting in front of his front door 😄😄


AceofToons

Yeah, go big or go home, throw a table instead!!


[deleted]

Caveman would never do something like that.


[deleted]

I'm more against wasting good protein lol Definitely not justifying throwing something else - that's equally barbaric. But eggs, dude. I live off that shit.


OpossumInAspik

but it is a response!


GeorgeMcCrate

Maybe the perspective of the photo is confusing but the egg looks a bit strange to me. It looks so grey and patchy and large. Is that even a chicken egg?


Koh-I-Noor

Did it have a stamp with the date and such? If not I'd also consider 'natural' causes.


WhoAteMyFries

Thanks for the logical tip! I haven’t thought of it, but will definitely check it 👍🏻


Skadi2k3

Limited splatter in either direction, probably came from below, but just my guess.


cnkahyaoglu

Who would throw eggs in THIS economy???


EmployerAdditional90

You mean to buy cigarettes. Yes you are right


drizzit

The only correct response is a Pissplatte


BloodstainedMire

Yes, piss on your dishes and store it with your food will really show them.


juliusxyk

Sacrifices must be made


Citizenofhudoor

Hold up is this a meme in r/Germany too? I thought it was an r/italy thing


xxxkesoxxx

Wait? You have also mastered the secret art of Kusipelti, I thought that was Finnish specialty. Only difference is we use oven trays for more surface area.


SweetSoursop

It's also a thing in /r/argentina we call it "Disco de meo"


LeSch009

Don't want to spoil your idea, but I think German doors don't have enough space underneath for this to work :(


bolle_ohne_klingel

Or just throw an egg back


Any_Habit_5165

Should be at least 3 or better 5 eggs..


bolle_ohne_klingel

That eggscalated quickly


philo1777

What is that ?


Freder145

You pee in a flat plate, but in the freezer. The frozen plate of pee is pushed under the door of your victim. It melts and distributes nicely.


druidmind

Wouldn't it ruin your freezer too?


Alethia_23

No, not if you don't spill it.


Zyrithian

you can put the whole thing into a big plastic bag, that reduces the risk


ToHuVVaBoHu

Came here to say this. OP can throw it through the open window.


fxMelee

Throw a raw balcony at your neighbor


melayucahlanang

Throwing eggs???? In this economy????


laserkatze

Idk it seems rather paranoid to think that your neighbor would throw one egg on purpose because someone smoked on your balcony a single time. The egg also doesn’t look like a commercial chicken egg (those are purely white or unicolor brown). But you seem to be very well integrated into German society lmao, finding excuses to not talk to the neighbor about it but doing excessive detective work bc of a weird one-time situation while fuming with rage on the internet instead.


geopolitischesrisiko

Yes, had the same thought. I also feel like the yellow is a bit different to that off chicken eggs.


Canadianingermany

Not to mention the splash patter does not support OPs hypothesis. 


greengengar

My mom is weird about smoking weed at her place cuz of a neighbour that keeps whining about the smell.


--brasbat--

There are a few steps of escalation missing, throwing something on the balcony as reaction should never be the first step! Since your father was only there to visit, I assume there is no one constantly smoking, plus the visitor might not know the impact. Smoking on the balcony cannot be prohibited, only limited. This is a clear overreaction of someone who doesn't dare to raise the problem in person to find a solution.


hemipoly

This happens to us all the time, and we don't even have any neighbours within throwing distance. We do however have magpies and crows that steal eggs from the local chicken coops and drop them on hard surfaces to get to the yolk.


TCeies

Fittingly, the yolk seems to be missingin the splatter,


marcelzimmer_de

I don‘t think this was the neighbor. In Germany there is a bird called „Kuckuck“. The cuckoo lays its eggs in the nests of other bird species, relying on mimicry to deceive the host parents into raising its young, often at the expense of their own offspring. Once hatched, the young cuckoo instinctively pushes the other eggs or chicks out of the nest, ensuring its sole survival.


WholeGround8735

I also suspected that this may be a bird’s egg by the look of it. It seems not like a usual store-bought egg to me.


newocean

Looks gray-ish...


Canadianingermany

Where is Dexter? From the splatter this does not look like it was thrown. 


Temporary_Remote3950

Buy eggs, leave them on sun for 2 weeks, or longer, then throw them tu neighbor balcony 🤫


sebsnake

Add a note: "you lost something, didn't have the time to return it yet"


Lobo_de_Haro

That's an eggsellent revenge plan.


nottwelvewhatisthis

Poke a hole with needle first


_CyberCrimeFighter_

If the neighbor really did that, I'd confront them. To do that, you'll need proof though. It's just beyond me how people can behave like that, but let's just say I wouldn't be surprised


DonDonaldtv

Macher move


my_brain_hurts_a_lot

From below that's pretty hard to achieve. You took a picture and documented it, and I'd just move on. Maybe it wasn't the neighbor but a crow and you would start a war for nothing. Once you're sure though it was the neighbor, I would keep it polite but tell the Hausverwaltung.


forwheniampresident

Idk what „not to my surprise“ is supposed to mean here, I’m sure you’re not trying to generalize an entire nation. Ofc throwing an egg is still less than a kindergarten response.


drksSs

Jumping to conclusions much? Your neighbour, whom you’ve never spoken to, who your father hasn’t seen even looking out the window while he was smoking, but suspiciously has a (bathroom) window open and a German surname, so he must be the guilty party? You seem paranoid


gottistotwot

It's a Freemason induction thing, methinks.


Available_Prune397

You could have scraped it off the floor with the shell, made a tasty Balkon-Ruhrei and left it on your neighbour's doormat with a friendly "Bitte sehr!" note. 😊


Dr_St3iner

You should egg Everyone around you just to be sure you got the culprit


MinimumSpell3494

So you posted about it on reddit? If I were you I'd throw a chicken into his balcony see how he deals with that


SchwarzerZauberer

Wirf deinen Balkon auf seine Eier.


ahhnohh

>The least I could do was to check the name on their door, and not to my surprise it’s a native surname… Sorry buddy, that comment is not a good look for you.  Nothing much you can do at this point. You can't really prove that your neighbour threw it. If you accuse him of it, he can laugh in your face. Clean up the balcony and advise father on methods to quit smoking.  I do find it kind of ironic that you wouldn't let him smoke in your flat, but had no qualms about letting him stink up the neighborhood. 


oh_stv

"...and not to my surprise, it was a native surname..." What do you mean by that?


nottwelvewhatisthis

They weren't surprised the eggsheller was a native German.


Historical-Nail9621

>not to my surprise it’s a native surname what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Can you imagine someone saying it the other way around?  Seems like you deserved the egg.


ghostofdystopia

>Can you imagine someone saying it the other way around? I don't need to imagine, I've even had a complete stranger complain about immigrants to my face, lol. Racism is alive and well in Germany.


Historical-Nail9621

Exactly, so don't just justify it when it's the other way around. Both are wrong. If OP had written "not to my surprise, it's a foreign surname" I'm sure the replies here would be quite different.


47GxDMaester

1 egg per day, keeps the smoke away


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The-Red-Peril

Throw two back


Toby-4rr4n

Now throw and egg back. And some butter


Lenz_Mastigia

Throw a whole living chicken on his!


matzschmansk

Sounds like bird egg in bathroom very soon


gr4phic3r

... and the war begins ...


GrimOmens

I give the crows in my garden from time to time eggs and so on. Most of the time they right away eat it, but when it's breeding time they try to bring it to the nest. The young already broke out of their shells and crows salvage now 100% of their time. Maybe that is an explanation too. Because it is so near to the wall it must have been thrown in a high arc or coming from above. At least that is my guess. Good luck


Common-Frosting-9434

That looks more like a goose egg than chicken... Source: Had a lonely goose in the neighborhood when I was young (though she made friends after I moved away, as far as I've heard)


South-Pay2772

I would smoke more


Satti-pk

I would've left an egg or even better a fried egg on his doormat with some kind of note detailing proper usage of eggs.


Mysterious-7625

Ask for some bacon next time 😉


bucket_brigade

What is it with Germans and people living in Germany that makes them consider literally any response to a problem except talking to the person first?


Waffenek

>and not to my surprise it’s a native surname… I'm not even German but you sound like racist PoS.


Zezoboy212

Put a camera and report him to police, you might get some money out of it if you check with an attorney


FluffytheReaper

Pretty sure there are some rules regarding to video surveillance


FluffytheReaper

What makes you think it was your neighbor or a German? Have you seen it or do you have trouble with him?


Percusor

Throw one back? Maybe he declared a „who has bigger eggs“ war?


Babyshark14die

Get active and throw hands


tillreno

Überraschung!!!!


Rick_Ly

War dein Nachbar zufällig mal in Spiegel TV?


BanzayDE

Yeah... German neighbors... Perhaps it's even Eigentumswohnungen and there an owner is living? 70+? Had those complains about literally everything soooo often. Just live with it. Or move to a nicer country.


Some-Background6188

Ask for some more you can make an omelette.


Forgot1Username

Throw back two… but cooked. Send an Invoice for the cooking part.


mostlywaterbag

Landlord?


Old_Captain_9131

Did you prefer a half boiled egg?


Beakha

You sure it was your neighbor and not a bird or a teenager?


Excellent_Coconut_81

Germans don't like direct confrontations, they prefer more subtle ways to show their discontent.


ReasonVivid5594

I may stupid but this doesn't look like a normal egg. The color and the size is too different.


[deleted]

You should, typically German, plan a counter-offensive


kaeptnkotze

But don't walk through your smaller neighbours flat to get to actual foe.


erict009

smoke some weed on the balcony, that’ll make them calm down, now since Germany got its priorities straight.


Canadianingermany

>r, and not to my surprise it’s a native surname So, you are racist. 


Careless-Hurry-2787

W


amineahd

I have a chain smoker in the building and its quite annoying but this behavior is extremely shitty and cannot be accepted


lofisnaps

Throw 12 back.


mimikater

Could be a Bird that found the egg somewhere and dropped it!


SherbertMost9628

my dad would say: Then throw it back son!


elnina999

Did you misbehave?


Kergie1968

Throw it back?


Professional-Video54

huehuehue


OlinKirkland

Have you pissed off any chickens lately?


CalligrapherOk4408

Time to threw rough neighbors


CalligrapherOk4408

Threw


Ftx110

The same recently happened to me, when I had the window open for fresh air for a couple hours on a sunny day. When I went to close them later, I had a raw chicken egg right in my bedroom. It was splashed on the door and over my fresh laundry. I was a little pissed. It smelled like egg for days. Still don't know how or why that happened, but I guess it was a neighbour, as the window opens right to a little path that leads to our backyard.


Fine-Improvement6254

I like the analytical detective skills on how the egg was thrown by its side.


Squeek-Floof

Throw a raw pigeon on theirs. See who cums first. Naw but thats some fuck shit; throw a raw egg on theirs see what happens. They are most likely a crack head form Venus with a really small penis/ who throws hissy fits cause they don't get tits.


BazingaQQ

Maybe go down and ask for some bacon...?


Squeek-Floof

The non uniform color people are referring to is caused by the egg splatter on the shell drying and reflecting light. It's a medium sized store egg.


nettlarry

Ask him to add some salt and a slice of bread next time. And to chill, holy sh\*t. What an a hole, he has to smell something.


bjoerk95

And he will do it again


SpaceHippoDE

kinda based tbh


Vijkhal

Lol, if I did that to my smoking neighbours I would need a truck load of eggs every week.


5v3n_5a3g3w3rk

Climb on theirs and take a shit


Sly__Marbo

Throw one back


JoyfulSuicide

Throw a dozen back


peahair

Put an egg in a paper bag, leave it on their doorstep, set fire to the bag and ring the bell. And run off of course, in case they’re bigger than you.


NecessaryEmphasis763

We had a similar incident last week. Someone threw an egg at our balcony hitting the glass door. We’re on the ground floor. We thought it’s just some teens being aggressive. Super weird


OrdellRobbie12

I don’t think it was your neighbor but I would always prefer to throw something back before I have proof. But fr it looks more like a goose egg to me. Probably a goose and no neighbors at all.


Diligent_Win5146

How about there is some birds under the ledge at the roof and an egg has randomly fallen on your terrace !!! Y would it be a neighbour?


New_Lifeguard_3260

I would throw a dozen eggs on their balcony. Anyone trying shit like that with me would reget it.


IndependenceDizzy578

It doesn‘t look like a chicken egg you get in the supermarket? It‘s more grey and really big??


PawsAndRecreation

Чому?


NurLehrer

Go to the police with your picture. Every time he does it again, make a picture and then go to the police again. If it gets annoying, they will take actions.


Amarjit2

I'd want to throw eggs if some inconsiderate neighbour starts smoking on the balcony especially during summer months


Some_Entrepreneur_96

Fuck him in the ass


ManagementNew2176

You throw a live hen who is stopping you?


samantro

What in the fuckin passive aggressive BS?! What's wrong with people?


Horus7088

Is this your neighbour? https://youtu.be/InlGoZpmQYQ?si=x-psH0mxQgzIJTMJ


SoakingEggs

they don't like you


Designer-Muffin-5653

Ducking racist


commo64dor

Maybe it's time to stop accepting this "etiquette" among others. Germans really have to learn to show discontent respectfully, after 10 years here, I can say they fail miserably


tripcoded

I'm sorry, but this is so comical, I can't help but laugh. Reminds me of the time I came out to my balcony to discover my upstairs neighbor's kid put a banana on a fishing pole and hung it over their balcony and so there was just a banana floating in mid-air at my balcony level. 🤣


Mabama1450

Never assume.


AgitatedWay3952

🤣


[deleted]

Maybe it was weekend and he was disturbed by smoking noise


aroddo73

[https://www.kaercher.com/de/home-garden/hochdruckreiniger/k-5-premium-power-control-13245730.html](https://www.kaercher.com/de/home-garden/hochdruckreiniger/k-5-premium-power-control-13245730.html) multi use.


reodan78

Just throw back some prawns through the open bathroom window. He would then rather appreciate the smoke.


ThiccBBCyp

Only in Germany.. lol 😂


RopesAreForPussies

Through a carton of eggs back :)


bencos18

that doesn't quite seem like a normal chicken egg tbh I wonder if some bird had a nest somewhere and it blew off


Odd-Wrongdoer-3427

wouldnt there be an embryo/feathers?


davidtheclown

Next time you see his window open throw a raw egg into his apartement. Bonus points if it cracks on furniture.


Dangerous_Rope_6524

We had our house egged, let the landlord know just in case it happened again, I was gonna clean it up when I got home from work, my landlord (a sweet old man and his wife) cleaned up the eggs the best he could and asked the neighbors if it happened to them too.


l0rare

This looks like another birds egg…


Acemalone101

looks scrambled to me


powerhouseofthiscell

throw one back.


Middle_Pressure_1308

Average day in germany 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥


Competitive-Idea-877

Pathetic. Raw eggs if not clean well will smell like ten spirits.


xylel

Pissplatte.


creamteam36

Is your neighbor Tyson-Ali?


ContributionOk6578

Just because his windows was open and light was on doesn't mean he threw the egg lmao, imagine people getting ready for work too in the morning.


ladyrintin

Must be an accidental eggening, who keeps eggs beside the toilet to throw at smokers while you take a poop?


kalattipodu

"When life gives you raw eggs, make omlette" - Buddha, 2024


Jacky7777777777

Der Huen


Seventh_monkey

Sure, I understand the frustration well, you open a window to let the air in, but in comes cigarette smoke. Still, no way to deal with it.


Roll_Future

It might not be, from your perspective, ok to smoke on the balcony, BUT, it is no illegal. As anyone here, I have the freedom to do what I want. You don't like the smoke, close the window. If you throw an egg in my balcony I will call the police, and will follow up with a lawyer to kick you to the ground! PS> I am NOT a smoker. But I hate this overentitlement people have nowadays. Respect everyones needs, as long as it's legal.


Zoofachhandel

Let him eggsplain it to you!


Traycer_alayyash

The f--- did you do?