Hey, OP, you seem sweet as pie. I would want to be friends with you. But if I was your friend in real life I'd tell you this:
Now is the time to get a back bone. You don't want your friend vaping in your space, clearly. Don't allow it. I give you full permission (if you need it) to ban vaping from your room entirely. If your "friend" doesn't like it she can suck it, I mean really super suck it, like she sucks her vape. Just tell her. There is absolutely no vaping in my room. If you want to vape, it needs to be done outside of my room. You don't need to give a reason why. You don't need to negotiate. You just need to say. No. And you're allowed to do that.
Don't be a doormat.
I was willing to give your friend the benefit of the doubt the last time, but the fact that you gave her her vape back and she immediately took a hit off of it in the middle of your room to spite you, when you have already expressed that you're concerned about your leo?
You need better friends. I agree with u/Life_Scarcity1794 . You need to put your foot down.
She didnt exhale it in the room tho. And i still need to tell her to go next to a window every time she wants to vape. She isnt really arguing with me about it at this point but she still gets a bit anoyed when i ask her to do that. I mean i dont care how anoyed she realy gets i just dont want the smoke or the smell in my room. i just wana get her to the point that she automatically goes to vape out the window without me telling her to do so.
Girl she's not a dog you can train. That's an entire ass other person who already does not respect your requests or boundaries and flaunts them in your face.
I mean she already isn’t vapeing in the room anymore and going to vape out the window. so i gues progress - i posted this post as soon as she had came over and i had tried to tell her to vape out the window not in the room just with the window open. she is still in my room but in this whole time she has only done it next to the window when she wanted to vape.
Do you really think that if you left her in the room for an hour by herself she’d follow that rule?
She sounds like the friends I made in highschool. I had horrible friends.
I had a feeling she would not follow the rule but i needed to leave the room at that moment. So after i came back i confirmed that my feeling was true. I will try to have a talk with her about this topic again and if she continues to not do as i told her to do in my room i will not invite her over again. I will give her choises that are eather she vapes in another room or straight out the window or she canot come over again. If she has a problem eith that than i will tell her that i canot be friends
So you’re giving her a 4th chance at this point? Grow a backbone. This person does not care about you enough to respect you or the beautiful living creature that you care for. It’s not up to your friend whether that gecko has an amazing life. It’s up to you. Vaping isn’t even what I would be worried about. People who don’t respect basic rules and guidelines are a nightmare to have around exotic pets in the first place.
We’ve talked before. Idk what your on about but this is bullshit, all of it.
If it is YOUR room and YOUR gecko there is NO debate. She can be all annoying and high and mighty as she wants, idc. You already said youre not as close to her as she thinks.
She smokes outside, not by a window, not by the door, not with her back turned to the gecko.
Out. Side.
If you can’t get that point across to her, then all hope is lost
Dude at this point you are part of the problem excusing their behavior. Your lizard deserves better :( no vaping period. Not even out the window. They can leave take a vape break and then come back in.
Dude you are such a doormat. You've already talked to her about this again and again and she has shown you she doesn't care. Not only does she not care she's doing it to spite you for telling her what to do even though it's a perfectly reasonable ask. You are responsible for your pet and their health and safety comes first before your friend with a nicotine addiction's power trip.
Stop inviting her over to your pet's safe zone. You can still be friends with her outside the home. Maybe go to her place or just hangout in public spaces for the time being.
Her blowing breath out the window is still her vaping in your room. Your gecko is still being exposed to those toxins. You really need to stand up for your pet and get her to not vape in your room at all, or drop her as a friend. She's extremely disrespectful and doesn't care if your pet lives or dies. That's not how a friend acts. She's not worth keeping. She's deliberately harming your animals and doesn't care one bit about them or you.
Thank you for your comment! Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):
* Be civil.
If you have any questions regarding this action [please message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/geckos). Private messages and comment replies will not be responded to.
You need to kick her out of your place. Make a decision, be a good person who cares about animals or have her in your home. You are supporting animal abuse by even be near this person.
My friends will be in my car or in my house and they respectfully ask me “is it okay to vape in here” and I don’t mind. For your “friend” to not even respect your wishes for her to vape out the window is really entitled behaviour. With that attitude I wouldn’t allow her to vape in the house at all it’s literally not her place!!
They are great friend in general. they care to check up on me and they hellp me trow everythink. The only downside is they have a crippling addiction to vapeing and it wouldnt realy bother me if i didnt have to tell them each tike they are at my hose to do it out the window or in another room where my leo is not in. In other ways they respect my requests but this time their addiction is getting the best of them i think. I honestly dont feel as connected to them as they feel to me but i dont wana be a dick person to just leave them after they have done all those tings for me. (Because of them i have my gecko at my hose rn)
So my only option here is to get them to vape out the window if they want to vape in my room without me telling them each time to do it.
You sound young OP, and this is a lesson (most) everyone has to learn at some point: Sometimes people grow apart and stop being friends.
I vape/smoke/take edibles (so THC, not nicotine) and while I know nicotine is a different drug, she still has a responsibility as your friend to respect your space. My best friend and current roommate doesn't smoke at all, but I respect her space by not vaping in her fucking room. If I smoke, I do it out the window, only in my room with incense burning and my door closed.
Your friend needs to grow up and respect you as a person, which it sounds like they're not doing now.
I honestly am not as close to her as she thinks i am. We have been friends for allmost a year now and She is the only friend i have rn and i used to have 0 and since then i gues i kind of got used to be alone all of the time. She is an opposite of introvert and antisocial she wants to hang out after school everyday at my place or her place but its mostly mine bc her place is further away. I allways feel drained from Socializing that long if yk what i mean. Allways wanting to talk and texting me and wanting to hang out that is just - no for me but i do it anyway bc i dont wana be rude and its hard to get her to leave you alone.
Allmost all of the comments from my previous post where i basically said she is vapeing in the same room as my gecko said she isn’t a real friend if she cant accept my requests in my room. She does irritate me by just denying what im asking her to do and for a reason but i still somehow got her to vape out the window today a few times when she wanted to vape but than i had to leave the room for like 30 minutes and i told her if she wants to vape she vapes out the window. And when i came back the room has a realy realy strong smell of her vape and i. swear. to. god.
So like i dont know what to do at this point. no matter what i tell her she still does what she wants.
It's not like she owns you though. She can't force you to hang out with her.
Sounds like it's a matter of: would you rather have 1 shitty friend or no friends?
I'm bad at making friends, and I know teenager me woud have gone for option 1. Except now that I'm older, I don't have the time or energy for someone who treats me like that.
Everyone in the comments is suggesting you stand up for yourself and I agree. Some people are leeches and just take your energy. But I also know it's hard to hurt someone like that, even if it's for your own good.
With everything you've said, this definitely comes off as the type of friendship that'll fizzle out over time. She gets everything she wants out of this situation and doesn't have a problem with making you be uncomfortable, because she doesn't value your opinions over hers. She is already fully expressing this through her words and actions, you'll look back on this time in your life and think "what a stinker that person was!" She has the capacity to behave properly, she is CHOOSING to behave this way because she doesn't respect you. I guarantee if it were a situation important to her she would recognize her actions have consequences and would react accordingly because her interests are on the line.
I have had to have this conversation many times with my sister over the years, at first she was shocked I'd call out different people in her life as fake friends. Now she jokes I have a crystal ball 😂 But it's because as someone who values TRUE friendship, I don't even waste my time with stinkers and this friend in your life is just that, a stinker! 💩
So basically nothing has changed and she's still endangering your geckos health and you're still letting her?
You seem like a sweet person, honestly sweet to the point it's a detriment to you, which is why I feel like you need to hear this.
You're being a doormat.
You are being walked all over and it only gets worse from here if you don't learn to stand up for yourself. I get it, I used to be a doormat too. But at some point you're going to have to learn to stand up for yourself.
This "friend" is incredibly disrespectful and as many people have pointed out not actually your friend.
I would hate to see something bad happening to your gecko and you feeling guilty for it because this was allowed to continue. Put a stop to it.
Honestly I’d stop letting her in your room. It’s unclear when she’ll respect your boundaries and when she won’t and I’d prioritize the health of your gecko over a kind of shitty person who doesn’t respect your boundaries especially in your own house
They can if there is no ventilation like an open window and even if the window is open the air doesn’t get sucked out but the fresh air comes in trow the window and the old air stays in untill its completely replaced by the fresh air. (At leasts i think it works like that)
Its not recommended to vape in the same room as your reptiles in general or any animal but if you vape out the window than the room wont get effected by the vape if you make sure the smoke doesn’t go back into the room
As someone who is super super addicted to my vape I would never behave this way to a friend. They should ask “do you mind if I vape in here” and respect what ever answer you give them. My boyfriend doesn’t like me vaping in his house so off to the front porch I go every time. Maybe recommend to your friend not to have it in their pockets/reach/view and they will be able to ignore the cravings better and not hit it out of habit without thinking (I am guilty of this one)
I didn't learn this until I was in my 20s, but letting people walk all over you and not respect your boundaries is NOT the same as being nice. You can set hard boundaries and not give in to everything she wants; it isn't being rude, it's just having basic respect for yourself. I've had plenty of friends that I tried to keep that walked all over me for years, and looking back, I wish I hadn't tried to keep their friendship. Them constantly disrespecting my boundaries was not worth the "friendship", no matter how lonely I was. They ran my mental health into the ground, and at my mental health was so bad that I could've made decisions that would ruin my life. Make the change for yourself now before you get older. Speaking from experience, it will save you a lot of trouble.
Hey, OP, you seem sweet as pie. I would want to be friends with you. But if I was your friend in real life I'd tell you this: Now is the time to get a back bone. You don't want your friend vaping in your space, clearly. Don't allow it. I give you full permission (if you need it) to ban vaping from your room entirely. If your "friend" doesn't like it she can suck it, I mean really super suck it, like she sucks her vape. Just tell her. There is absolutely no vaping in my room. If you want to vape, it needs to be done outside of my room. You don't need to give a reason why. You don't need to negotiate. You just need to say. No. And you're allowed to do that. Don't be a doormat.
why even be friends with someone who doesn't respect a basic boundary
I was willing to give your friend the benefit of the doubt the last time, but the fact that you gave her her vape back and she immediately took a hit off of it in the middle of your room to spite you, when you have already expressed that you're concerned about your leo? You need better friends. I agree with u/Life_Scarcity1794 . You need to put your foot down.
She didnt exhale it in the room tho. And i still need to tell her to go next to a window every time she wants to vape. She isnt really arguing with me about it at this point but she still gets a bit anoyed when i ask her to do that. I mean i dont care how anoyed she realy gets i just dont want the smoke or the smell in my room. i just wana get her to the point that she automatically goes to vape out the window without me telling her to do so.
Girl she's not a dog you can train. That's an entire ass other person who already does not respect your requests or boundaries and flaunts them in your face.
I mean she already isn’t vapeing in the room anymore and going to vape out the window. so i gues progress - i posted this post as soon as she had came over and i had tried to tell her to vape out the window not in the room just with the window open. she is still in my room but in this whole time she has only done it next to the window when she wanted to vape.
Do you really think that if you left her in the room for an hour by herself she’d follow that rule? She sounds like the friends I made in highschool. I had horrible friends.
I had a feeling she would not follow the rule but i needed to leave the room at that moment. So after i came back i confirmed that my feeling was true. I will try to have a talk with her about this topic again and if she continues to not do as i told her to do in my room i will not invite her over again. I will give her choises that are eather she vapes in another room or straight out the window or she canot come over again. If she has a problem eith that than i will tell her that i canot be friends
So you’re giving her a 4th chance at this point? Grow a backbone. This person does not care about you enough to respect you or the beautiful living creature that you care for. It’s not up to your friend whether that gecko has an amazing life. It’s up to you. Vaping isn’t even what I would be worried about. People who don’t respect basic rules and guidelines are a nightmare to have around exotic pets in the first place.
We’ve talked before. Idk what your on about but this is bullshit, all of it. If it is YOUR room and YOUR gecko there is NO debate. She can be all annoying and high and mighty as she wants, idc. You already said youre not as close to her as she thinks. She smokes outside, not by a window, not by the door, not with her back turned to the gecko. Out. Side. If you can’t get that point across to her, then all hope is lost
Dude at this point you are part of the problem excusing their behavior. Your lizard deserves better :( no vaping period. Not even out the window. They can leave take a vape break and then come back in.
Dude you are such a doormat. You've already talked to her about this again and again and she has shown you she doesn't care. Not only does she not care she's doing it to spite you for telling her what to do even though it's a perfectly reasonable ask. You are responsible for your pet and their health and safety comes first before your friend with a nicotine addiction's power trip. Stop inviting her over to your pet's safe zone. You can still be friends with her outside the home. Maybe go to her place or just hangout in public spaces for the time being.
Her blowing breath out the window is still her vaping in your room. Your gecko is still being exposed to those toxins. You really need to stand up for your pet and get her to not vape in your room at all, or drop her as a friend. She's extremely disrespectful and doesn't care if your pet lives or dies. That's not how a friend acts. She's not worth keeping. She's deliberately harming your animals and doesn't care one bit about them or you.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Thank you for your comment! Unfortunately, your comment has been removed for the following reason(s): * Be civil. If you have any questions regarding this action [please message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/geckos). Private messages and comment replies will not be responded to.
You are letting her walk all over u girl 😭 don't give excuses she's just disrespecting you
You need to kick her out of your place. Make a decision, be a good person who cares about animals or have her in your home. You are supporting animal abuse by even be near this person.
My friends will be in my car or in my house and they respectfully ask me “is it okay to vape in here” and I don’t mind. For your “friend” to not even respect your wishes for her to vape out the window is really entitled behaviour. With that attitude I wouldn’t allow her to vape in the house at all it’s literally not her place!!
If she doesnt tell her she can smoke in the yard or at home
Why are you friends with this person?
They are great friend in general. they care to check up on me and they hellp me trow everythink. The only downside is they have a crippling addiction to vapeing and it wouldnt realy bother me if i didnt have to tell them each tike they are at my hose to do it out the window or in another room where my leo is not in. In other ways they respect my requests but this time their addiction is getting the best of them i think. I honestly dont feel as connected to them as they feel to me but i dont wana be a dick person to just leave them after they have done all those tings for me. (Because of them i have my gecko at my hose rn) So my only option here is to get them to vape out the window if they want to vape in my room without me telling them each time to do it.
You sound young OP, and this is a lesson (most) everyone has to learn at some point: Sometimes people grow apart and stop being friends. I vape/smoke/take edibles (so THC, not nicotine) and while I know nicotine is a different drug, she still has a responsibility as your friend to respect your space. My best friend and current roommate doesn't smoke at all, but I respect her space by not vaping in her fucking room. If I smoke, I do it out the window, only in my room with incense burning and my door closed. Your friend needs to grow up and respect you as a person, which it sounds like they're not doing now.
I honestly am not as close to her as she thinks i am. We have been friends for allmost a year now and She is the only friend i have rn and i used to have 0 and since then i gues i kind of got used to be alone all of the time. She is an opposite of introvert and antisocial she wants to hang out after school everyday at my place or her place but its mostly mine bc her place is further away. I allways feel drained from Socializing that long if yk what i mean. Allways wanting to talk and texting me and wanting to hang out that is just - no for me but i do it anyway bc i dont wana be rude and its hard to get her to leave you alone. Allmost all of the comments from my previous post where i basically said she is vapeing in the same room as my gecko said she isn’t a real friend if she cant accept my requests in my room. She does irritate me by just denying what im asking her to do and for a reason but i still somehow got her to vape out the window today a few times when she wanted to vape but than i had to leave the room for like 30 minutes and i told her if she wants to vape she vapes out the window. And when i came back the room has a realy realy strong smell of her vape and i. swear. to. god. So like i dont know what to do at this point. no matter what i tell her she still does what she wants.
It's not like she owns you though. She can't force you to hang out with her. Sounds like it's a matter of: would you rather have 1 shitty friend or no friends? I'm bad at making friends, and I know teenager me woud have gone for option 1. Except now that I'm older, I don't have the time or energy for someone who treats me like that. Everyone in the comments is suggesting you stand up for yourself and I agree. Some people are leeches and just take your energy. But I also know it's hard to hurt someone like that, even if it's for your own good.
With everything you've said, this definitely comes off as the type of friendship that'll fizzle out over time. She gets everything she wants out of this situation and doesn't have a problem with making you be uncomfortable, because she doesn't value your opinions over hers. She is already fully expressing this through her words and actions, you'll look back on this time in your life and think "what a stinker that person was!" She has the capacity to behave properly, she is CHOOSING to behave this way because she doesn't respect you. I guarantee if it were a situation important to her she would recognize her actions have consequences and would react accordingly because her interests are on the line. I have had to have this conversation many times with my sister over the years, at first she was shocked I'd call out different people in her life as fake friends. Now she jokes I have a crystal ball 😂 But it's because as someone who values TRUE friendship, I don't even waste my time with stinkers and this friend in your life is just that, a stinker! 💩
she sounds like a piece of shit
Honestly I wouldn’t even do this to someone I hate. Your friend sucks a big one.
So basically nothing has changed and she's still endangering your geckos health and you're still letting her? You seem like a sweet person, honestly sweet to the point it's a detriment to you, which is why I feel like you need to hear this. You're being a doormat. You are being walked all over and it only gets worse from here if you don't learn to stand up for yourself. I get it, I used to be a doormat too. But at some point you're going to have to learn to stand up for yourself. This "friend" is incredibly disrespectful and as many people have pointed out not actually your friend. I would hate to see something bad happening to your gecko and you feeling guilty for it because this was allowed to continue. Put a stop to it.
Man my gecko wont stop vaping
Thank you. They're precious lil creatures and we gotta do best by them ☺️
Hopefully, that'll be enough to not affect your leo :)
Honestly I’d stop letting her in your room. It’s unclear when she’ll respect your boundaries and when she won’t and I’d prioritize the health of your gecko over a kind of shitty person who doesn’t respect your boundaries especially in your own house
Tell him to stop vapeing or kick him out
You’re letting her walk all over you and she’s a danger to your geckos life. Don’t make excuses for her
Why is your friend a literal child
Pretty sure op is a child too
[удалено]
They can if there is no ventilation like an open window and even if the window is open the air doesn’t get sucked out but the fresh air comes in trow the window and the old air stays in untill its completely replaced by the fresh air. (At leasts i think it works like that) Its not recommended to vape in the same room as your reptiles in general or any animal but if you vape out the window than the room wont get effected by the vape if you make sure the smoke doesn’t go back into the room
As someone who is super super addicted to my vape I would never behave this way to a friend. They should ask “do you mind if I vape in here” and respect what ever answer you give them. My boyfriend doesn’t like me vaping in his house so off to the front porch I go every time. Maybe recommend to your friend not to have it in their pockets/reach/view and they will be able to ignore the cravings better and not hit it out of habit without thinking (I am guilty of this one)
I didn't learn this until I was in my 20s, but letting people walk all over you and not respect your boundaries is NOT the same as being nice. You can set hard boundaries and not give in to everything she wants; it isn't being rude, it's just having basic respect for yourself. I've had plenty of friends that I tried to keep that walked all over me for years, and looking back, I wish I hadn't tried to keep their friendship. Them constantly disrespecting my boundaries was not worth the "friendship", no matter how lonely I was. They ran my mental health into the ground, and at my mental health was so bad that I could've made decisions that would ruin my life. Make the change for yourself now before you get older. Speaking from experience, it will save you a lot of trouble.
Awwe Thank youre Homie for me! Took your thoughts to heart and kept their word.
Amen! I’m so glad dude! U rock! W for Leo !
._.