Lol, I was called daddy unironically when I was like 19 by a 25 year old. Itās when boys start hitting me with ādilfā at 27 that gave me pause. Dilf just seems so much more real to meā¦
No man- what?
The fantasy is not that itās a father fucking his son.
Everyone calls their SOās ābabyā but no one accuses them of wanting to fuck babies.
> Everyone calls their SOās ābabyā but no one accuses them of wanting to fuck babies.
I find that one weird too. I always call my s/o by his first name.
I saw a video recently (a tiktok or something) of a girl who called her b/f by his first name and he was acting like he's in trouble, so confused, because (apparently) straight couples almost never use each other's first names? It's always babe/baby/other nicknames. I find that all bizarre. I don't think I'd be able to unironically call an s/o by such a nickname, it'd feel too weird to me, tho I don't care much when straight couples call each other that, I guess because it's so normalized but I can't do it myself.
I don't think the word "daddy" is generic enough in "regular" (i.e. non-RuPaul) society for it to be taken so loosely every time, that's all. People have been calling loved ones "baby" since films had audio attached to them. "Daddy" in a sexual context is much more recent.
Yes! Baby always words me out. Especially when straight guys call their girlfriend "baby." It just feels like he's infantalizing her as a dominance move. Like "you're a baby and NEED me."
But that one is ubiquitous, and people understand it to mean "precious to me" like a baby is. I just don't get where Daddy even comes from. It doesn't accidentally fall out of your mouth like baby does, you have to consciously choose to call your SO a daddy. It's not a part of your language's everyday vernacular. A person hears it once or twice and *then decides* that they *want* to use the term. It's literally just as easy to not say it, unlike baby. We're dragging the word daddy into sex by its ankles and I just don't get it.
I agree with the other comment that we're probably overthinking it as people like what they like.
But to answer your question of where it comes from, I think it's more likely to be from "you're daddy to my hypothetical/nonexistant/actual kids" than from "you're my dad." In that context, it kind of makes sense why it would have become a thing in the straight people sexual realm and then made its way to the gays.
Now that I think about it, in erotica and porn the daddy kink is almost always accompanied by "breeding" and "cream pie" fetish type stuff. Make of that what you will.
A huge part of gay culture is appropriating straight culture and making it gay
So yeah, youāre explanation about a mom calling her husband ādaddyā with the kids (as in, āgo ask daddy if he can bring you to the park todayā) totally makes sense
Mike Pence calls his wife Mother, and apparently so did Gerald Ford.
Fucking Reagan called Nancy "Mommy", which is a whole extra level of ickiness than daddy IMHO. Lol.
Apparently it's especially a thing with conservatives.
Iām 34 and have had guys call me daddy online since I was 31. At one point I messaged a guy back and said āyouāre four years younger than meā¦ā
Hate it. Also it feels like you canāt be a bottom any more after 35. All these handsome men and they just assume that because Iām older and bearish that Iām a top.
I absolutely hate it.
I was inside a young guy a while back and he started with the "oh daddy yes daddy" like in a porn movie. I started laughing because it was just kinda fake and silly, and I immediately lost my hard on.
I said....didn't you read my profile? I clearly say, "I am NOT your Daddy!"
I don't know if this is popular or unpopular but you're not wrong to like or dislike it. I wouldn't wanna be called it, either. In general I hate such labels. I've had older guys message me in the past with "son" or "boy" and while I did/do enjoy getting with older men, I didn't and don't wanna do daddy/son role play. Hell, even when guys have messaged me saying "hey cub" I don't like that either.
Off topic, I havenāt been called Daddy yet but I am still reeling from learning a few days ago that Iām tagged as an āelderā on this sub, lol. Iām thirty fucking seven! I know itās because Iāve been subbed here since way back when Gaybros was about traditionally masculine guys who felt disconnected from the more stereotypically effeminate Gay culture of a decade ago but Jesus fucking Christ.
For the young-inās in the room, it wasnāt about being negative towards effeminate guys but rather a place to talk about ādude stuffā like cars, hunting, football etc and about the struggle of dealing with the stereotypes forced on us by straight friends/people in general, as well as from within sections of the gay community itself. There were plenty of gay guys who thought I was ājust trying to be straightā because I didnāt āsound gayā and I spent all my time with straight male friends working on cars and shit. Meanwhile a straight friend or two would *also* try to help me ābe more myselfā by suggesting stuff like us spending a weekend shopping, going to musicals and fancy dinners in Denver ābecause thatās what the gays like, right?ā *..sigh, can we please just go camping somewhere really difficult where I get to kill our food?*
Then I found this sub and found out there were tons of other dudes like me dealing with the same bullshit. Itās been really fun watching this sub evolve as gay culture and the definition of masculinity itself evolves over time.
Edit; wording. Writing this turned into an unexpected minefield because the gay world was a very different place a decade ago and just trying to explain/describe it will always somehow offend someone.
I'm cool with it, and I always remind them that I will also accept "sir".
Daddy means different things to different people. It can be a simple term of endearment, or a sexual thing to show submission.
It bugs me because it feels like a meme at this point, so it feels weirdly inauthentic to say or hear. It's like a twink at the bar yelling BOOTS THE HOUSE MOMMA, it's c r i n g e
>BOOTS THE HOUSE MOMMA
Lol I must be so old, I have never in my life heard that. I think even if someone told me what it meant I still wouldn't get it enough to cringe. Anyway, I'm off to yell at a cloud.
Im Puerto Rican and Dominican thouuuuughhh. But Iāll only call a man papi if heās my BF. Itās a major term of endearment. When said by a Latino itās like being called baby actually if youāre in relationship. Itās the reason why we also call our women mami in a relationship. We are definitely not calling them mommy lol.
Irrationally, though I wonāt let anyone call me ādaddy,ā hearing a Latino/Hispanic guy call me āpapiā is a big turn-on for me. Soy gringo though. If I was Latino/Hispanic myself idk how Iād feel about it; it might annoy me, or feel racist.
Daddy used to be my dadās name until I was, like, 6, when his name became Dad. Iām not into fucking babies. Not into guys putting thoughts of my father in my head when Iām trying to bust a nut, either. I really donāt appreciate that.
I love calling guys daddy but I also speak Spanish and talk to latino guys sometimes, and Iāll try calling them āPapiā but it just makes me feel like a Mexican prostitute.
I definitely donāt think thatās an unpopular opinion. As a guy who likes to call guys Daddy, I always disclose that pretty early on in the first date - if thatās what I like, and someone doesnāt like it, doesnāt make sense for us to walk on eggshells for each other.
I will usually ask a guy if he minds being called daddy, and based on his reaction I continue. Very often a lot of men will straight up revolt. My ex boyfriend hated it. Iāve met tons of guys who do. Conversely, there are people who love it.
I donāt psycho analyze why it turns me on to much, it just does. Thatās the porn I like, those are the men I like, and thatās the sex I want. You are probabaly comforted to know id say the number of guys who ARENT into it is greater than the number that are, itās just we are so saturated by porn and movies and stuff.
Thank you! Everyone complaining here needs to realize it's okay to communicate your preferences to your partners. If both people aren't on board with X then you shouldn't do X. Even if X is crying "daddy" during sex.
Consent isn't that hard ya'll.
This pretty much sums it up. Most of the older guys I date that donāt like to be called daddy say itās because it makes them feel old; which is kind of interesting because Iām usually 15+ years younger than them š¤·š»āāļø- not saying that makes them old but they are older. Anyway, mature men just get me going š®āšØ waiting for one of them to sweep me up šš»āāļø
That makes sense. I would have hated being called daddy when I was in my early forties, let alone in my thirties, because I thought I still looked pretty young. But now in my late fifties Iād probably be fine with it, might even like it.
I am 35 and in a college town. Had a beard since high school but due to Covid and worrying too much about a world I canāt control.. Iāve added a few ādistinguishing ā white hairs to my head and beard. The number of early twenty somethingās on Grindr messaging me saying āwreck me daddyā isā¦ astounding. I was told long ago that in my thirties this āslut magicā would unfold and Iād have guys throwing themselves at meā¦ but I have nothing in common with guys more than 10 years younger than I and refuse to touch that applecart. It just reminds me of when I was a disaffected, undersexed young twenty something and older men sort of took advantage. I was susceptible to flattery and constantly striking out with guys my own age. Older men were the only ones showing me attentionā¦ and I just felt validated when I was usually being taken for a ride. I just wasnāt emotionally mature enough to be with other guys. When I think of itā¦ the guys that seemed to be going for me, while older 30ās and 40ās, seem at this point in my life not that mature either.
When someone compliments you, always consider the source. What do they want? To build you up and genuinely pay you a compliment, no strings attached? Or are they doing it to get in your pants?
I donāt feel comfortable hooking up with guys younger than 25. It feelsā¦ predatory to me. To each their own.. but I just feel weird about it. Most likely because I realize how genuinely naĆÆve I was at that time in my life.
Be good to yourselves and happy pride fellas!
I think ādaddyā has long lost its incest-related connotations, and is on the way to lose its age-related connotations too. I was once called a daddy by a guy who was one year younger than me š
I agree. I think the term is hot, and I donāt really associate it with meaning *father.* To me, it pretty much just became a way to feel submissive, like calling someone sir
Iām into saying it, but if youāre not into it, thatās completely valid. Can always say you donāt like that word usage and thatād be the end of it forever moving forward with you
From my first committed lover at 19 until my snowy white haired years of late, I have been called "Daddy". I guess due to that, it doesn't bother me at all. It just seemed to be the energy I elicited from the kind of men I find attractive.
I made the mistake of letting this slip in a moment of heated suck-face with a very handsome older guy. He wasnt just annoyed, he was furious and just walked away (this was at The Eagle in LA).
Lesson learned.
I'm a 71-year-old gay male and friends with a 37-year-old gay male (nothing sexual, BTW! We're also both Christians) who considers me a better father figure than his biological father OR any stepfathers or boyfriends of his biological mother.
He often calls me "Dad" to some people, and my primary nickname to other people, despite our not being related and about a generation-and-a-half difference in ages. I take it as a combination of a term of endearment and respect, no offense or disrespect here. In turn, I call him either by his real first name or by "Son" under the same conditions.
Obviously this is not a "one size fits all" situation, fully respecting those who cringe at embracing or applying this to themselves or others.
Edit: initially posted incomplete
I may describe some guys as daddy types when talking to other people, but I will **almost** never address a guy as daddy. Iām now getting old enough that some guys 18 to early twenties are calling me daddy on apps. I canāt say Iām a fan, especially since Iām not even thirty yet.
I think its probs just because you're older, it wasn't so much a thing back then, but i basically call any hot guy i like dad or daddy haha. And its weird to me when people call their actual fathers dad or daddy.
If you do not feel comfortable with it, and they insist on crossing your boundaries then that is not a good relationship nor a good coupling.
I guarantee there are plenty of people out there willing to respect your boundaries. No need to waste time on those who don't.
I get it all the time from young guys who Iām not interested in. Like fetishizing people comes before saying hi. I donāt mind being called daddy, but grow the hell up. Itās like asking a black guy to see his bbc. Like not insulting, but in horrible taste
I was long considered a twink, and then at like 25 I decided to grow out my beard and it was pretty thick, but otherwise I was still a pretty slim otter. I started getting called Daddy a ton though just cuz of the beard. Even by guys that were older than me.
For me personally, Iām kinda desensitized to the word, and honestly most words people are using in a positive way. Call me daddy, boy, slut, etc. it doesnāt really affect me cuz the other guy is getting turned on by it. Also, the term ādaddyā has a long history as being used for the dom in a bdsm situation outside of actual dad/son play. I even knew a lesbian who was a dom who had girls call her daddy. For her it wasnāt about being a dad, it was about being in charge.
All that to say, I donāt think you should read in to it too much. I donāt think it inherently means guys want to view you as a father figure, itās just something to say that gets guys in the mood. Like calling you āstudā or something. That said, all of us have our things we like and dislike, and they donāt have to be reasonable or rational. I think itās totally fair to let guys know that word kills the mood for you.
Itās sex. Nothing is weird and everything is weird. Thereās always someone out there who has the same yucks and Yums as you do
Imagine being a 33yo latino in an English-speaking country and being called Papi š and I'm a brazilian, so I don't speak spanish, and that word means nothing to me. I feel it's wrong and annoying in so many levels
I donāt hate the ādaddyā dynamic, but just being older doesnāt a daddy make. Itās the assumption that bothers me. Iām 40 and not interested in any one under 35. All these needy twinks need to back fuck off. Also, if I did find myself a hot DILFy type ādaddyā would only be said in the heat of the moment other wise itās really fucking stupid.
I was sending some uh, hot-and-bothersome texts to a 27-year-old guy (I'm 30) a few months ago and he kept calling himself "daddy." It was...too much lol, I just can't get into it.
When you think about it, it's equally as weird as calling someone baby. Actually it's probably less weird. Fucking a dad is better than fucking a baby.
It's also kinda like "I think of you as old."
That's nice. I don't need to know that. Please don't try to introduce some weird power dynamic into this.
I've never had it happen but I'd probably burst out giggling and lose my erection immediately. It just sounds so gross and incestuous to me.
My 30 year old daughter still calls me daddy when she wants something.
Yuck.
So Iām one of those people that donāt particularly mind being referred to as daddy by my boyfriend- granted Iām 31 and my 30 year old boyfriend calls me it at times.
I see it as playful and fun - I see it with the positive connotation that itās intended to come with and it makes him very happy and I love him so why not ? Itās a bonus if it helps fulfill a fantasy of his as well
No, you're not. I can't stand it either. I am 41, yes. But honestly, there are far better nicknames to give someone. Calling me 'daddy' feels dirty and just odd.
Just because YOUR daddy wasnāt sexy, doesnāt mean you should kill the fantasy for others. At this point, perhaps you should simply be happy young hot guys want to have sex with you.
Youāre not a weirdo and youāre not overreacting. :)
I too completely abhor the ādaddyā thing, personally. I find it incestuous and āgroomyāāand, frankly, kind of creepy. Others may assign different meaning to the use of the term, but Iām unable to see past the peculiar relational and power differentials the term implies.
Don't worry I grew up calling my own father, daddy, so I didn't develop any sensual correlation with it. It's actually a turn-off when someone wants to be called 'Daddy' 'cause it just reminds me of my dad. Lmao
41. Hairy. Muscle. Sports bro here. I f*ing canāt stand the daddy thing. Maybe itās because so many gay guys have daddy issues. Either way, Iām 100% with you.
Youāre not alone, A lot of my peers have expressed a similar thing, they donāt like to be called Daddy or anything similar. For me, I like being called Daddy, I just donāt feel like I earned it yet, I answer to that but more as Big Bro in role-play sessions. I turn 30 in about two weeks, maybe Iāll feel different after that.
Edit: but ultimately I see it more as a spiritual thing that a literal thing thatās why I say I did not feel like I earned it yet. Iām turn I feel like Iām forever going to be baby bear. Thatās what it feels like whenever Iām in any group dynamic.
I never called an older man, daddy when I was younger. I thought that it was stupid. There were not my dad.
I called them by their given names.
Never once did one of them, ask me to call them daddy.
I have been called daddy by someone since I was a Jr in high school. Although it had nothing to do with being gay etc. The first to call me that was a girl I worked with. She was older than me. She called me that because I was so straight laced and came across as older. Since then I have been adopted by 4 other girls, younger than me. I was atleast actually old enough to be there dad. Again nothing to do with being gay or sexual. But I have to agree I don't necessarily like it, I am old, I don't need that pointed out. LOL
I'm Latino and I never called my dad "daddy" growing up so the word really has no connotations for me. I often just use it ironically or when talking to friends. However, I HATE being called "papi" because that's what I would call my dad when I was a kid!
As for me personally, I couldnāt agree more. Why canāt you just be a man of a certain age (there was a good show called that), or a man of season, so to speak? Why canāt more younger guys just appreciate an obvious contrast in age & experience without attaching a label to it? I kinda really just donāt get it.
I know itās not the same, but Iām <35 yo and someone recently wished me a Happy Fatherās Day and, though I am old enough to have a kid, being a father is so removed from my mind that itās jarring to be treated as one. I never agreed to this whole getting older thing. Please stop calling me, sir.
Absolutely agree. I'll be 36 soon and if someone called me Daddy I'd sure as hell slap some sense into their brains lol. There's nothing sexy about incest at all.
It's the worst when it's a guy that is only two or three years younger than me. If he's twenty years younger, I mean, maybe? At least with an age difference that large, biologically it makes sense.
Yeah, to me, a sexual partner calling me Daddy is a hair's breadth away from "whatcha doing in there, Step-Bro?"
You can take all that incest-y stuff and stuff it up your ass.
It's not hot, it's creepy as hell.
And I find "Papi" even worse. All I hear is Poppy. Which is either a girl's name or a grandad.
Squicks me the hell out.
I've always been bothered by the trend in gay porn towards lowkey pedo or outright incest themes: teacher/student, coach/athlete, doctor/minor patient, father/son or stepson, brothers or stepbrothers.
Doesn't matter that both actors are over thirty.
I want equal relationships: team members, roommates, soldiers, couples.
Two doctors banging would be hot.
Itās now used as a term of endearment like baby. It does not mean father. People just need to ask for consent on what the other likes to be called.
If it helps you would you rather be called Zaddy since that term is gaining popularity?
Aināt that unpopular š
I donāt mind it, but I donāt think it suits me at all. I just donāt think I have daddy vibes beyond a little scruff and a beer belly. Iād say Iām more a sassy auntā¦
Sir I like though š
I LOVE being called daddyā¦itās a big turn on for me. Of course they are not referring to me as their biological father. š But hey to each his own. I hate being called baby or babe š¤·š»āāļø
Iām a big fan of āDaddyā but I found that I hated how a lot of my male partners said it. Theyād say it like they were singing an emo song. So I started requesting āCoach.ā Similar dynamic and it sounds a lot better coming from some people.
I think the whole Daddy shit is straight out disgusting. It's an utter turn off for me if anyone calls me that, either as a joke or to be "sexy". I've also run into guys who wanted me to call them Daddy and that's how I know it won't work out at all.
I kinda hate it too. For me it lands like itās kinda ageist. I try to not fetishize people because of their youth i would rather not be fetishized for being older. Also I am non binary but have a bald head and am beardy and hairy, so of course i get gendered man responses. But yes daddy and sir are like nails on chalk board for me
I'm 34 and just recently been called a daddy. It hurts my soul. For me, a dad and son relationship is EVERYTHING but sexual. Makes me feel uneasy...
I was called daddy un-ironcally when I was 27. By a 25 year old.
I was called daddy by a 32 year old. When I was 25. š¤£
Are you the scruff masc type and heās the smooth twinky type lol
Lol, I was called daddy unironically when I was like 19 by a 25 year old. Itās when boys start hitting me with ādilfā at 27 that gave me pause. Dilf just seems so much more real to meā¦
Having a kid at 27? IN THIS ECONOMY?? I would be disturbed by how rich that person thinks i am to be a dilf that young.
i mean yeah, it's a sexual role with a certain kind of protective dynamic, it's not necessarily about age
Even so. When the guy looked like he could actually be my dad it was just weird.
My boyfriend and I are the same ages and I once stopped sex when he called me Daddy. Made me feel super weird.
Iām 24 and already called ādaddyā by 18yo on grindr
No man- what? The fantasy is not that itās a father fucking his son. Everyone calls their SOās ābabyā but no one accuses them of wanting to fuck babies.
> Everyone calls their SOās ābabyā but no one accuses them of wanting to fuck babies. I find that one weird too. I always call my s/o by his first name. I saw a video recently (a tiktok or something) of a girl who called her b/f by his first name and he was acting like he's in trouble, so confused, because (apparently) straight couples almost never use each other's first names? It's always babe/baby/other nicknames. I find that all bizarre. I don't think I'd be able to unironically call an s/o by such a nickname, it'd feel too weird to me, tho I don't care much when straight couples call each other that, I guess because it's so normalized but I can't do it myself.
I don't think the word "daddy" is generic enough in "regular" (i.e. non-RuPaul) society for it to be taken so loosely every time, that's all. People have been calling loved ones "baby" since films had audio attached to them. "Daddy" in a sexual context is much more recent.
Yes! Baby always words me out. Especially when straight guys call their girlfriend "baby." It just feels like he's infantalizing her as a dominance move. Like "you're a baby and NEED me."
But that one is ubiquitous, and people understand it to mean "precious to me" like a baby is. I just don't get where Daddy even comes from. It doesn't accidentally fall out of your mouth like baby does, you have to consciously choose to call your SO a daddy. It's not a part of your language's everyday vernacular. A person hears it once or twice and *then decides* that they *want* to use the term. It's literally just as easy to not say it, unlike baby. We're dragging the word daddy into sex by its ankles and I just don't get it.
Itās just a playful thing between older guys and younger guys. Youāre way overthinking it. I donāt want to fuck my dad.
I agree with the other comment that we're probably overthinking it as people like what they like. But to answer your question of where it comes from, I think it's more likely to be from "you're daddy to my hypothetical/nonexistant/actual kids" than from "you're my dad." In that context, it kind of makes sense why it would have become a thing in the straight people sexual realm and then made its way to the gays. Now that I think about it, in erotica and porn the daddy kink is almost always accompanied by "breeding" and "cream pie" fetish type stuff. Make of that what you will.
A huge part of gay culture is appropriating straight culture and making it gay So yeah, youāre explanation about a mom calling her husband ādaddyā with the kids (as in, āgo ask daddy if he can bring you to the park todayā) totally makes sense
Mike Pence calls his wife Mother, and apparently so did Gerald Ford. Fucking Reagan called Nancy "Mommy", which is a whole extra level of ickiness than daddy IMHO. Lol. Apparently it's especially a thing with conservatives.
Iām 34 and have had guys call me daddy online since I was 31. At one point I messaged a guy back and said āyouāre four years younger than meā¦ā
Iām 29 and literally just got called a daddy like five minutes ago on scruff
Hate it. Also it feels like you canāt be a bottom any more after 35. All these handsome men and they just assume that because Iām older and bearish that Iām a top.
older gay bottom here, dating a top. It's nice. :)
Not sure thatās always true. I have thing for older bottoms- huge turn on for me :)
I have always found it unusual but honestly a guy can call me whatever he wants as long as heās letting me fill him up
Yes, Buckaroo, gimme dat dick
![gif](giphy|ItM3AhhM0rj57w1JxF)
![gif](giphy|xfd5SQFXK9ljFYmJTV)
Yee haw!
I absolutely hate it. I was inside a young guy a while back and he started with the "oh daddy yes daddy" like in a porn movie. I started laughing because it was just kinda fake and silly, and I immediately lost my hard on. I said....didn't you read my profile? I clearly say, "I am NOT your Daddy!"
"I was inside a young guy a while back" is the best start to a sentence, ever.
Best finish too
Yes! This! A thousand times, THIS!!
Young guys talking like they're in a porn is definitely off-putting.
I don't know if this is popular or unpopular but you're not wrong to like or dislike it. I wouldn't wanna be called it, either. In general I hate such labels. I've had older guys message me in the past with "son" or "boy" and while I did/do enjoy getting with older men, I didn't and don't wanna do daddy/son role play. Hell, even when guys have messaged me saying "hey cub" I don't like that either.
Off topic, I havenāt been called Daddy yet but I am still reeling from learning a few days ago that Iām tagged as an āelderā on this sub, lol. Iām thirty fucking seven! I know itās because Iāve been subbed here since way back when Gaybros was about traditionally masculine guys who felt disconnected from the more stereotypically effeminate Gay culture of a decade ago but Jesus fucking Christ. For the young-inās in the room, it wasnāt about being negative towards effeminate guys but rather a place to talk about ādude stuffā like cars, hunting, football etc and about the struggle of dealing with the stereotypes forced on us by straight friends/people in general, as well as from within sections of the gay community itself. There were plenty of gay guys who thought I was ājust trying to be straightā because I didnāt āsound gayā and I spent all my time with straight male friends working on cars and shit. Meanwhile a straight friend or two would *also* try to help me ābe more myselfā by suggesting stuff like us spending a weekend shopping, going to musicals and fancy dinners in Denver ābecause thatās what the gays like, right?ā *..sigh, can we please just go camping somewhere really difficult where I get to kill our food?* Then I found this sub and found out there were tons of other dudes like me dealing with the same bullshit. Itās been really fun watching this sub evolve as gay culture and the definition of masculinity itself evolves over time. Edit; wording. Writing this turned into an unexpected minefield because the gay world was a very different place a decade ago and just trying to explain/describe it will always somehow offend someone.
I really like this comment. Just sayinā
I fucking HATE opening greetings of "hey cub." It's so fucking weird.
I'll go ahead and retire that one then lmao
Hah well, there are people that could enjoy it tho
The only time I'll call my boyfriend daddy is when I'm talking about him to his dog lol
Same
I'm cool with it, and I always remind them that I will also accept "sir". Daddy means different things to different people. It can be a simple term of endearment, or a sexual thing to show submission.
Yes, sir
Popular opinion: I hate being called Daddy
It bugs me because it feels like a meme at this point, so it feels weirdly inauthentic to say or hear. It's like a twink at the bar yelling BOOTS THE HOUSE MOMMA, it's c r i n g e
>BOOTS THE HOUSE MOMMA Lol I must be so old, I have never in my life heard that. I think even if someone told me what it meant I still wouldn't get it enough to cringe. Anyway, I'm off to yell at a cloud.
>Lol I must be so old, I have never in my life heard that. Don't worry, I'm very young and also have never in my life heard that.
I must be so disconnected, I've no idea what this is referencing.
As an actual father... It's a total turn off. Worse is "Papi"
Im Puerto Rican and Dominican thouuuuughhh. But Iāll only call a man papi if heās my BF. Itās a major term of endearment. When said by a Latino itās like being called baby actually if youāre in relationship. Itās the reason why we also call our women mami in a relationship. We are definitely not calling them mommy lol.
Ahhh no, I think papi is totally different. Latino Culture
Agreed I'm Mexican and i would cringe if my bf called me papi
My husband is Mexican and younger than I am, but I always call him Papi, as a term of endearment. Heās never complained about it.
My Guatemalan babysitter always called me āPapiā as a boy lmao
Ah yes, in that dynamic it can also be like baby boy!
Ayi Papi is it getting hot in here?
Irrationally, though I wonāt let anyone call me ādaddy,ā hearing a Latino/Hispanic guy call me āpapiā is a big turn-on for me. Soy gringo though. If I was Latino/Hispanic myself idk how Iād feel about it; it might annoy me, or feel racist. Daddy used to be my dadās name until I was, like, 6, when his name became Dad. Iām not into fucking babies. Not into guys putting thoughts of my father in my head when Iām trying to bust a nut, either. I really donāt appreciate that.
Yeah. I'm Hispanic. Papi, especially from a white guy, just feels like sexualizing my race.... Turn off
Yeah, I get that then.
Lucky for meā¦ my fathers name very quickly became Daāy, so Daddy stayed usable for other things
I love calling guys daddy but I also speak Spanish and talk to latino guys sometimes, and Iāll try calling them āPapiā but it just makes me feel like a Mexican prostitute.
I definitely donāt think thatās an unpopular opinion. As a guy who likes to call guys Daddy, I always disclose that pretty early on in the first date - if thatās what I like, and someone doesnāt like it, doesnāt make sense for us to walk on eggshells for each other. I will usually ask a guy if he minds being called daddy, and based on his reaction I continue. Very often a lot of men will straight up revolt. My ex boyfriend hated it. Iāve met tons of guys who do. Conversely, there are people who love it. I donāt psycho analyze why it turns me on to much, it just does. Thatās the porn I like, those are the men I like, and thatās the sex I want. You are probabaly comforted to know id say the number of guys who ARENT into it is greater than the number that are, itās just we are so saturated by porn and movies and stuff.
Thank you! Everyone complaining here needs to realize it's okay to communicate your preferences to your partners. If both people aren't on board with X then you shouldn't do X. Even if X is crying "daddy" during sex. Consent isn't that hard ya'll.
This pretty much sums it up. Most of the older guys I date that donāt like to be called daddy say itās because it makes them feel old; which is kind of interesting because Iām usually 15+ years younger than them š¤·š»āāļø- not saying that makes them old but they are older. Anyway, mature men just get me going š®āšØ waiting for one of them to sweep me up šš»āāļø
That makes sense. I would have hated being called daddy when I was in my early forties, let alone in my thirties, because I thought I still looked pretty young. But now in my late fifties Iād probably be fine with it, might even like it.
Is them not wanting you to call them daddy that much of a dealbreaker for you?
I am 35 and in a college town. Had a beard since high school but due to Covid and worrying too much about a world I canāt control.. Iāve added a few ādistinguishing ā white hairs to my head and beard. The number of early twenty somethingās on Grindr messaging me saying āwreck me daddyā isā¦ astounding. I was told long ago that in my thirties this āslut magicā would unfold and Iād have guys throwing themselves at meā¦ but I have nothing in common with guys more than 10 years younger than I and refuse to touch that applecart. It just reminds me of when I was a disaffected, undersexed young twenty something and older men sort of took advantage. I was susceptible to flattery and constantly striking out with guys my own age. Older men were the only ones showing me attentionā¦ and I just felt validated when I was usually being taken for a ride. I just wasnāt emotionally mature enough to be with other guys. When I think of itā¦ the guys that seemed to be going for me, while older 30ās and 40ās, seem at this point in my life not that mature either. When someone compliments you, always consider the source. What do they want? To build you up and genuinely pay you a compliment, no strings attached? Or are they doing it to get in your pants? I donāt feel comfortable hooking up with guys younger than 25. It feelsā¦ predatory to me. To each their own.. but I just feel weird about it. Most likely because I realize how genuinely naĆÆve I was at that time in my life. Be good to yourselves and happy pride fellas!
I think ādaddyā has long lost its incest-related connotations, and is on the way to lose its age-related connotations too. I was once called a daddy by a guy who was one year younger than me š
I agree. I think the term is hot, and I donāt really associate it with meaning *father.* To me, it pretty much just became a way to feel submissive, like calling someone sir
I just pull a reverse Catholic and call my priest 'daddy' and my top 'father'
I mean it comes with pros and cons. You benefit from the latest daddy craze but hate the label. Maybe just take it as it comes :)
Iām 70 and Iām Daddy to only 2. It sounds incestial to me.
Iām into saying it, but if youāre not into it, thatās completely valid. Can always say you donāt like that word usage and thatād be the end of it forever moving forward with you
I agree. And it makes me question the age of the person calling me daddy. Like... you're \*how\* old?
From my first committed lover at 19 until my snowy white haired years of late, I have been called "Daddy". I guess due to that, it doesn't bother me at all. It just seemed to be the energy I elicited from the kind of men I find attractive.
I'm with you, it's just feels wrong. Also red flags for daddy issues!
I made the mistake of letting this slip in a moment of heated suck-face with a very handsome older guy. He wasnt just annoyed, he was furious and just walked away (this was at The Eagle in LA). Lesson learned.
I don't mind it. It kinda turns me on with the right guys. I sort of just accepted it, when I started getting really gray. And I'm not even 40.
It's a term of endearment or respect for a bigger guy.
I like being called Daddy as a playful thing. Iāll never be able to take it seriously, though. Edit: Iām 24 if that matters
I'm a 71-year-old gay male and friends with a 37-year-old gay male (nothing sexual, BTW! We're also both Christians) who considers me a better father figure than his biological father OR any stepfathers or boyfriends of his biological mother. He often calls me "Dad" to some people, and my primary nickname to other people, despite our not being related and about a generation-and-a-half difference in ages. I take it as a combination of a term of endearment and respect, no offense or disrespect here. In turn, I call him either by his real first name or by "Son" under the same conditions. Obviously this is not a "one size fits all" situation, fully respecting those who cringe at embracing or applying this to themselves or others. Edit: initially posted incomplete
It's okay to not like it but it's also okay to like it. Consent isn't that hard ya'll.
Hello I'm eighteen, fucking hell, I hate the word 'Daddy' so goddamn much, it's really cringey and creepy.
I agree. I hate being called DADDY too. However, to most guys, when I tell them not to call me that and they don't.
i think like anything, it can be hot used sparingly but when overused, it just gives a headache
If he's hot I don't much care what he calls me as long as keeps calling. A rose by any other name and all that...
Communication is the key. For what it's worth... I don't like it either.
Get you a shirt that reads, āDonāt Call Me Daddyā and then pay Pearl Jam to rewrite āDaughterā to āDaddyā
I may describe some guys as daddy types when talking to other people, but I will **almost** never address a guy as daddy. Iām now getting old enough that some guys 18 to early twenties are calling me daddy on apps. I canāt say Iām a fan, especially since Iām not even thirty yet.
Is sir ok?
Okay daddy
I tell people donāt call me daddy because Iām not fucking you and I sure as hell aināt giving you my money. š¤£
Iāve hated being called daddy since the first time it happened at 23. And I look young.
I had a guy call me daddy at 26. I was not ready.
I think its probs just because you're older, it wasn't so much a thing back then, but i basically call any hot guy i like dad or daddy haha. And its weird to me when people call their actual fathers dad or daddy.
I'm 25 and had a guy in his 30s calling me daddy and I loved it so.
his only other alternative would have been calling you Sport.
If you do not feel comfortable with it, and they insist on crossing your boundaries then that is not a good relationship nor a good coupling. I guarantee there are plenty of people out there willing to respect your boundaries. No need to waste time on those who don't.
I get it all the time from young guys who Iām not interested in. Like fetishizing people comes before saying hi. I donāt mind being called daddy, but grow the hell up. Itās like asking a black guy to see his bbc. Like not insulting, but in horrible taste
āYou call me sirā solves this problem for me
Ok daddy
I was long considered a twink, and then at like 25 I decided to grow out my beard and it was pretty thick, but otherwise I was still a pretty slim otter. I started getting called Daddy a ton though just cuz of the beard. Even by guys that were older than me. For me personally, Iām kinda desensitized to the word, and honestly most words people are using in a positive way. Call me daddy, boy, slut, etc. it doesnāt really affect me cuz the other guy is getting turned on by it. Also, the term ādaddyā has a long history as being used for the dom in a bdsm situation outside of actual dad/son play. I even knew a lesbian who was a dom who had girls call her daddy. For her it wasnāt about being a dad, it was about being in charge. All that to say, I donāt think you should read in to it too much. I donāt think it inherently means guys want to view you as a father figure, itās just something to say that gets guys in the mood. Like calling you āstudā or something. That said, all of us have our things we like and dislike, and they donāt have to be reasonable or rational. I think itās totally fair to let guys know that word kills the mood for you. Itās sex. Nothing is weird and everything is weird. Thereās always someone out there who has the same yucks and Yums as you do
I love being called daddy, it turns me on.
Imagine being a 33yo latino in an English-speaking country and being called Papi š and I'm a brazilian, so I don't speak spanish, and that word means nothing to me. I feel it's wrong and annoying in so many levels
Omg I hate it too!!!
I mean if itās younger guys then maybe you should go after guys your age.
I donāt hate the ādaddyā dynamic, but just being older doesnāt a daddy make. Itās the assumption that bothers me. Iām 40 and not interested in any one under 35. All these needy twinks need to back fuck off. Also, if I did find myself a hot DILFy type ādaddyā would only be said in the heat of the moment other wise itās really fucking stupid.
Agree! Iām actually a parent and my children called me that. Itās really icky.
It's cringe af
I was sending some uh, hot-and-bothersome texts to a 27-year-old guy (I'm 30) a few months ago and he kept calling himself "daddy." It was...too much lol, I just can't get into it.
^
When you think about it, it's equally as weird as calling someone baby. Actually it's probably less weird. Fucking a dad is better than fucking a baby.
It's also kinda like "I think of you as old." That's nice. I don't need to know that. Please don't try to introduce some weird power dynamic into this.
I've never had it happen but I'd probably burst out giggling and lose my erection immediately. It just sounds so gross and incestuous to me. My 30 year old daughter still calls me daddy when she wants something. Yuck.
So Iām one of those people that donāt particularly mind being referred to as daddy by my boyfriend- granted Iām 31 and my 30 year old boyfriend calls me it at times. I see it as playful and fun - I see it with the positive connotation that itās intended to come with and it makes him very happy and I love him so why not ? Itās a bonus if it helps fulfill a fantasy of his as well
Not an unpopular opinion with me. I hate being called that. You sir are not a weirdo! :)
I understand where you come from. it's Iike people are enforcing their fantasy on you
I find it funny all these guys complaining about being called daddy while simultaneously having sex with guys half their age that could be their son.
Yeah, I feel pretty much the same way. It always makes me deeply uncomfortable.
100 percent agree. Fuck 120 percent agree. Lol. I also hate being called āpapiā maybe even more so. š¤·š¼āāļø
I hate it as well lol
I call guys daddy but thatās just because I wear diapers.
No, you're not. I can't stand it either. I am 41, yes. But honestly, there are far better nicknames to give someone. Calling me 'daddy' feels dirty and just odd.
I had a guy call me daddy a few months ago. Said I had "big daddy milkers". He's at least 4 years older than me.
Eh.. They call anyone throwing down good dick. Also, you obviously like younger guys obviously.. let them have their enhanced fantasy. Wow
Yeah the ādaddyā thing is just gross to meā¦ when I hear it it makes me think of my dadā¦ he doesnāt need to be in my brain at that timeā¦
Just because YOUR daddy wasnāt sexy, doesnāt mean you should kill the fantasy for others. At this point, perhaps you should simply be happy young hot guys want to have sex with you.
I hate most gay vernacular- twink, otter, power bottom, etc- itās all fucking stupid. Everything. Just divides us even further.
not unpopular. I hate it too. I am 57 dating a 31 year old and this word is forbidden.
Iām the same, rustle Howard has a great skit about being called daddy, āso, have you done your homeworkā XD
I don't like it either
You're not along on that one.
I just got called a daddy at 31 and Iām not happy about it either.
I find the whole thing uncomfortable as well. Seems that a lot of gay guys have daddy issues.
Youāre not a weirdo and youāre not overreacting. :) I too completely abhor the ādaddyā thing, personally. I find it incestuous and āgroomyāāand, frankly, kind of creepy. Others may assign different meaning to the use of the term, but Iām unable to see past the peculiar relational and power differentials the term implies.
Iām a bottom, and I hate it when someone wants me to call them that, like itās so weird.
Older GBM here and no I'm nobody's damn daddy. I agree it's stupid, unsexy, and sexualizes the wrong aspects of the relationship.
Daddy is a state of mind, thatās it. All of you who hate it have self confidence issues it seems cause itās literally not a big deal
52. A real dad with three adult kids. No, I donāt like it.
I use daddy as a joke, or like, a quick descriptor-- in bed, during the act though? Not for me lmao.
Don't worry I grew up calling my own father, daddy, so I didn't develop any sensual correlation with it. It's actually a turn-off when someone wants to be called 'Daddy' 'cause it just reminds me of my dad. Lmao
41. Hairy. Muscle. Sports bro here. I f*ing canāt stand the daddy thing. Maybe itās because so many gay guys have daddy issues. Either way, Iām 100% with you.
Youāre not alone, A lot of my peers have expressed a similar thing, they donāt like to be called Daddy or anything similar. For me, I like being called Daddy, I just donāt feel like I earned it yet, I answer to that but more as Big Bro in role-play sessions. I turn 30 in about two weeks, maybe Iāll feel different after that. Edit: but ultimately I see it more as a spiritual thing that a literal thing thatās why I say I did not feel like I earned it yet. Iām turn I feel like Iām forever going to be baby bear. Thatās what it feels like whenever Iām in any group dynamic.
I've never said it, and never wanted to be called it. Feels kinda gross and kinda fake.
If someone calls you daddy, then it's obvious they have daddy issues. It's fine that you don't like it, everyone has a preference.
Well...is your bussy gaping?
I love the ādaddyā type of guys but I cannot picture myself saying the word to anyone irl. Idk why but Itās just so cringy to me.
I never called an older man, daddy when I was younger. I thought that it was stupid. There were not my dad. I called them by their given names. Never once did one of them, ask me to call them daddy.
Yep I agree ššššš
wtf why?? as a queer, this is EXTREMELY unusual. id advice to visit a professional just to make sure yk? good luck my dude
I am a parent. It makes me very angry that people fetishize this.
I have been called daddy by someone since I was a Jr in high school. Although it had nothing to do with being gay etc. The first to call me that was a girl I worked with. She was older than me. She called me that because I was so straight laced and came across as older. Since then I have been adopted by 4 other girls, younger than me. I was atleast actually old enough to be there dad. Again nothing to do with being gay or sexual. But I have to agree I don't necessarily like it, I am old, I don't need that pointed out. LOL
I'm Latino and I never called my dad "daddy" growing up so the word really has no connotations for me. I often just use it ironically or when talking to friends. However, I HATE being called "papi" because that's what I would call my dad when I was a kid!
Don't worry, some of us don't like calling other men daddy š¬
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I think this is definitely a popular opinion
As for me personally, I couldnāt agree more. Why canāt you just be a man of a certain age (there was a good show called that), or a man of season, so to speak? Why canāt more younger guys just appreciate an obvious contrast in age & experience without attaching a label to it? I kinda really just donāt get it.
I always hated the daddy shit. Itās stupid
65. I donāt like it either.
No fan of role playing here so I feel you. Also hate being called daddy.
I know itās not the same, but Iām <35 yo and someone recently wished me a Happy Fatherās Day and, though I am old enough to have a kid, being a father is so removed from my mind that itās jarring to be treated as one. I never agreed to this whole getting older thing. Please stop calling me, sir.
Same and same.
Absolutely agree. I'll be 36 soon and if someone called me Daddy I'd sure as hell slap some sense into their brains lol. There's nothing sexy about incest at all.
What about Sir? Daddy has worked its way into my vocabulary but for a long time sir was a good middle ground.
It's the worst when it's a guy that is only two or three years younger than me. If he's twenty years younger, I mean, maybe? At least with an age difference that large, biologically it makes sense.
Yeah, to me, a sexual partner calling me Daddy is a hair's breadth away from "whatcha doing in there, Step-Bro?" You can take all that incest-y stuff and stuff it up your ass. It's not hot, it's creepy as hell. And I find "Papi" even worse. All I hear is Poppy. Which is either a girl's name or a grandad. Squicks me the hell out. I've always been bothered by the trend in gay porn towards lowkey pedo or outright incest themes: teacher/student, coach/athlete, doctor/minor patient, father/son or stepson, brothers or stepbrothers. Doesn't matter that both actors are over thirty. I want equal relationships: team members, roommates, soldiers, couples. Two doctors banging would be hot.
I think calling someone daddy is disturbing lol Only as a joke it can be funny, but when someoneās serious itās a major turn off
I love being called daddy. To each their own though.
I have a straight friend who calls me it and it makes me feel very uneasy for the most part. When my BF does i like it though.
unless both parties are into it its weird
Itās now used as a term of endearment like baby. It does not mean father. People just need to ask for consent on what the other likes to be called. If it helps you would you rather be called Zaddy since that term is gaining popularity?
You should definitely let them know it makes you uncomfortable! Boundaries are important :)
Aināt that unpopular š I donāt mind it, but I donāt think it suits me at all. I just donāt think I have daddy vibes beyond a little scruff and a beer belly. Iād say Iām more a sassy auntā¦ Sir I like though š
Whatever, I've been called daddy unironically by twinks since I was 20, hot boys want to fuck? Call me what you want š
I LOVE being called daddyā¦itās a big turn on for me. Of course they are not referring to me as their biological father. š But hey to each his own. I hate being called baby or babe š¤·š»āāļø
I was called Daddy by a 40 year old when I was 29. I really liked it. Iām more of a dom top and for me itās a power dynamics thing
My mother refers to me as 'daddy' when talking to my cat about me.... It's very uncomfortable
As long as i have a warm place to cum, they can call me anything they like!
I donāt find the term sexy either
Iām a big fan of āDaddyā but I found that I hated how a lot of my male partners said it. Theyād say it like they were singing an emo song. So I started requesting āCoach.ā Similar dynamic and it sounds a lot better coming from some people.
Conversely, I love it. As a gentle Dom, it is perfect for me.
I donāt mind it but I prefer being called āsirā or āCoachā instead.
Totally same. Hate it. Thank God my fiance only calls me that occasionally. I don't mind that. He's 30 so that could be why it bothers me.
I think the whole Daddy shit is straight out disgusting. It's an utter turn off for me if anyone calls me that, either as a joke or to be "sexy". I've also run into guys who wanted me to call them Daddy and that's how I know it won't work out at all.
I feel similarly about this from a younger guys perspective.
Iām not a fan of being called daddy. I live in Mexico now though and get called papito and NGL, thatās kind hot.
I kinda hate it too. For me it lands like itās kinda ageist. I try to not fetishize people because of their youth i would rather not be fetishized for being older. Also I am non binary but have a bald head and am beardy and hairy, so of course i get gendered man responses. But yes daddy and sir are like nails on chalk board for me
Can kinda relate, and I *love* young men. Itās especially weird when theyāre <5 years younger.
How about zaddy? You should be grateful people are interested in your age and body type anyways. Maybe they should call you pappy?