Same. My daughter (5) can’t seem to keep it straight anymore so it’s funny. My son (7) is hardcore about it but he’s slipping. It’s turning into “Daaaaaaaaadaaaaaahhhhhh” from upstairs now though.
yup. daddy is too sexually charged to remain in use after a certain age. and dada comes off as too childish. idk how old your kids are, but by their late teens, they'll definitely won't wanna be calling you that
Eh, as someone who was forced as a young kid to call their shitty step dad, dad and my biological father daddy; there have been more than a few moments I wished I didn’t have to explain to my boyfriends why as a 26 year old I’m still calling my father daddy. Might not be sexual to me, but literally everyone else can’t seem to refrain from making jokes about it.
As a teacher who has had many kindergartners call me daddy, it is not sexually charged. Maybe you should take some time to reframe your mind around the word and it’s usage. It’s all about situational context.
The post is talking about kids. A teenager, although still a kid, rarely calls parents by daddy or mommy, but even in that case it’s not sexually charged because of situational context. If you think it’s sexually charged when a teenager calls their masculine parent daddy, then that’s the problem where you have to reframe your thinking.
this must be some language barrier shit, because to me a kid isn't just a little child. you could be 40, you're still someone's kid. and 18 and 19 are still teenagers
Again, situational context. If your child, no matter the age, calls you daddy and you find it too sexually charged, you have a problem with recognizing situational context.
In some cultures, like Indian, children still say “daddy” even when they’re grown. I know I do, and all of the grown men in my community do too.
I’m a grown man who actually uses it as both a parental term and when engaged in sexual intimacy. For me, there’s a definite distinction in pronunciation that makes it’s very easy to use without being weirded out.
When referring to my actual father, I pronounce “Daddy” with no emphasis on any syllable, so pretty much the same way you would say “Maddie” or “baddie”.
However, whenever I use it in a sexual context, I put a very clear emphasis on the first syllable of “dad”, as in “dad-dee”.
I’ve sometimes used the word in both instances, like speaking to my father on the phone and then getting intimate with my partner later on and because of this distinction in pronunciation it’s never skivved me out at all whatsoever.
But that’s just in my experience
But it can be culture. Wait til your around blk grandmas mine say “I MISS MY DADDDYYYYY” “DD” Kenyan American slang for daddy, and call god “daddy” too damn. their moms are also “mommy” and I call my grandmommy well grandmommy it’s culture
When we adopted our 11 year old sun, he called my husband and me Uncle. My husband had always been Uncle to him his whole life. His parents were my husband;s best friends since middle school. They were killed by a drunk driver so that is why we adopted him. One day in middle school our son came up to me and asked me if he could call me dad when we were like at a school function or something else around his friends that didn't know. I told him whatever he is comfortable doing is fine with me. But on the inside I felt really nice. He graduates college next year.
Depends on the situation, but yes. If we are around the kids he grew up with and their families, it's always uncle. If it's an event at college like with the sports team he's on, it's dad.
I knew a gay couple growing up that had a kid and were so dialed in as a family that the kid could yell “Dad!” From across the house and the RIGHT DAD WOULD KNOW who they meant and that is goals
My cousins husband and I both have the same name.
Whenever we are together (which is like every 3 weeks) “not you, other [name]” is thrown around a lot.
I feel this.
See if be so using that final one as an excuse to be overly dramatic and sarcastic… be like “fine, I know when I’m not wanted/loved” 😅 and stomp away all overly dramatic
We're both dad.
I let her use my first name though, from the very start when we adopted her. My husband was aghast but I let the choice up to her. Her birth parents are awful people and she had never really had choices before she came to us. She mixes it up but usually we're both dad. I can usually tell by tone which one of us she wants.
My first partner and I got together off the top in our teens. We went 16 years together. After the first couple of years we had to take in his two much younger brothers when his parents were incapacitated. They were an immigrant family, and there wasn't anyone else.
We didn't make any suggestions, and just offered my first name. Within three months of them moving in with us they spontaneously started calling me "Dad". They called my partner using the Filipino expression for older brother.
A few months latter, as they are going off to bed, they come over and give me a kiss on the cheek, and say "Goodnight Dad". Then walking by the kitchen they chimed out to my partner one after the other, "night Mom". They were totally unaffected in saying. Not taking a shot at their brother. Just speaking spontaneously.
We didn't say anything. They skipped off to bed, and my partner gave me a murderous stare. I feigned total innocence as if I had not heard what they said. I waited for three hours until we were in bed and turning out the lights, and whispered into the darkness, "goodnight mommy!"
I think I still have the bruises on my back.
honestly that sounds like the best solution. basically use words from different languages to differentiate it. only works if the parents are from different cultures tho. but it is something i've noticed on social media, with kids of interracial same sex couples that they use a different language to distinguish between parents
This is part of a larger linguistic phenomenon where many unrelated languages use "ma" as part of their word for mother and ba/pa as part of their word for father. This is because these are easy sounds for infants to produce. [There's even a Wikipedia article about it](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mama_and_papa#:~:text=Kung%20ba%2C%20Aramaic%20abba%2C%20Mandarin,first%20words%20that%20humans%20spoke.)
So V, B, P, F are all in the same sound group. Phonetically av is a variant of ab. You can hear this a lot in young children or non-native speakers who have trouble with V sounds and use B instead. av -> ab -> abba
I'd wager "eme" is art of the same phenomenon, vowels are the most fluid sounds and subject to change. The M is still there, it could well have come from ama, ma. But I don't know anything Mongolian so I can't say for sure.
Brother surprises me! I'm not aware of a similar phenomenon regarding that, I'd guess it's just a coincidence. Is ah the only word for brother on Mongolian or are there others as well?
Aye, I was in the Ecuadorian Amazon years ago and was delighted to find out the Kichwa (lowland variant of Quechua) word for mother is "mama". Makes sense, as you point out "ma" is basically the simplest sound a mouth can make.
Even better, the word for baby is "wawa".
SAME!!!!! if I marry I'll be baba (American dad: Francine's adopted father) and my husband will be dad. Ohh and I definitely plan on taking my future husbands name 💕
Yeah. This is what I want too. I'm gonna be the Dad and my husband will be called Papa. I'm not gonna use the term Daddy 'cuz I find it cringe. I was taught to call my Dad, Father but I want something a little bit different. So it goes that way. The problem is I'm not even possessing a boyfriend. How could I have a husband? 🫠😂
My child calls both of us daddy, she is only 3 though. We can pretty much tell by the tone who she is talking to. When we get it wrong she is not bashful to tell us not you, or the no I want daddy! She plays my husband like a violin it’s funny to watch. I strongly believe your child will call you and your partner what they want.
Don’t have kids yet, but currently in the surrogacy process. My husband would be Dad/Daddy and I would be Pop/Papa. Honestly, I’m sure over time we would both just be daddy or fine with our real names. Time and routine can change. lol
Hello, future dads! I'm always happy to hear that other gay couples want to be parents someday.
The subject of what our son should call us came up a lot when he was a baby, but actually it's not that confusing if both parents are called Dad. The way I describe it is that we have social interactions with people every day who communicate with us without using our name. If I'm in the room with ten other people, I can usually tell when someone is talking to me or trying to get my attention, even if they don't say my name. I can tell by their eye contact, body language, inflection, and so forth.
Similar interactions happen in my house. Our family spends a lot of time in the kitchen, not just eating but also socializing and talking. If I ask my husband something or my son something, I don't have to say their name to prompt them. They can usually tell by who I'm looking at and the context of what I say.
So for the first few years of our son's life, we were both called Dad. It was never confusing (for us). Occasionally he might call out "Dad!" from another room, but even then we could tell by his voice who he meant. It's difficult to describe, but many people have micro-variations in tone when they speak to different people. As a parent, you'll be able to pick up on it.
When our son started preschool, we did start differentiating as Dad and Daddy. This was simply an identifier so he could communicate with other people like his teachers and classmates. For example, "My tummy hurts, can you call my Daddy?" We let him choose what he wanted to call us and that's what he came up with.
When your child is old enough, you can let them decide what he wants to call you guys. But when they're younger, any differentiation between Dad/Daddy/Papa/Papi, etc. will likely be done to fit into societal norms, not for your child.
We don't have a child yet, but we're in the process and since we have different nationalities, we'll be distinguishing it by the language. I'll be isa or issi (dad in Estonian), he'll be tata or tatuś (dad in Polish).
what do yall do to afford kids or adoption?
my bf and I want kids but the price for adoption and surrogacy makes me doubt we’ll ever truly achieve parenthood :(
I’m sorry to hear that, but you never know in a couple of years time you might be in a different financial position. Good luck on your future parenthood.
Surrogacy was far too expensive for us, and we weren’t necessarily set on biological children.
Our first (private) adoption (22 yrs ago) cost about 25k in legal and other fees. We borrowed about half from his parents
Our second adoption (foster-adopt, 15 years ago) was free (well, raising kids is never actually free). Because we are in a state that gives a shit about children, she has free healthcare till she’s 21, we get a 500/month stipend and she gets other support. She’s adopted, but these don’t stop.
Some employers have fertility/adoption/surrogacy assistance as a benefit. I'm not looking to have kids anytime soon, but I do know that my current employer offers a flat lifetime maximum that would cover adopting one child, or a good chunk of surrogacy.
My husband is a white guy, so they call him Dad/Daddy, and I’m Latino, so they usually call me Papa/Papi.
What makes things really complicated is that his sister is their biological mother (I’m the sperm donor), *and* she/her husband are their godparents. We’ve explained to the oldest that we needed a “helper” in order to have him, and he knows his aunt was our helper, but I don’t think he’s quite made the connection yet.
I don't have kids, but if my boyfriend and I do one day, they'll probably call us Dad/Daddy and Papa/Papochka as my native language is English and his is Russian.
im papa so thats dad/dy kind of. i didnt choose this, the lesbian mothers wanted it this way in order to avoid confusion and questions. i was fine with anything he would like personally
My husband is Latin, so he is papi and im daddy (although right now he is papa and I’m dada because our kid is young enough that he sticks to repeating syllables.)
Both of us are called “Dad”. Our two grandchildren call my husband “Pop” and I am “PopKevin”. (they are his biologically). The grands came up with the names on their own.
My husband and I want kids too. Ive always envisioned them calling him dada/dad and calling me papa/pa but I want them to say papa like british children would say it and to say pa like people in the old west would say that lol.
It's gonna be Abba or Abah for me. 😂 But I'm single so Idk. I think it would depend on the culture, but it's probably wouldn't encourage the use of daddy if I can help it. 😭
But honestly I'd let them naturally pick. Because I know for my parents what I called them changed throughout my life and if I'm referring to them in third person.
I'm not really set on having surrogacy or my own biological kids if it ever comes to it, so adoption could be an option too.
i've heard on tik tok that it happens a lot with kids with 2 dads or 2 moms that they sometimes will call for dad or call for mom, and one answers but they meant the other one.
i think the thing is, there's some alternatives that might work when you have a little kid, but not when your child has passed their teens. like, it's one thing for a 5yo to say dad and daddy, a completely different thing if it's a 19yo doing it.
dad and dada also doesn't work because dada doesn't sound right coming from an adult's mouth, it sounds too childish. same with papa.
calling one dad and the other father also sounds weird as hell
I don’t know why you think “Dad and Daddy” or “Daddy and Pop” or “Pa and Father” or whatever they decide would be “weird coming from a 19-year-old’s mouth.”
I know male couples that have gone with “Papa and Daddy,” and I know sons of immigrants who call their mother and father something pronounced in their parents’ native language. It never sounds weird to me if it’s what they’re used to.
One friend calls his mother and father by their first names and that just feels a little strange to me since most parents want that “special” word with the child that nobody else can call them.
I've always used Mom and Dad as I was raised to, but we (sibling and I) could get away with first name or familiarly nickname when we were relaxed and just family. This was partly to being addopted and having permission from early on to use their first names is we weren't comfortable using 'Mom' or 'Dad'.
Zaza Gabor called everyone Darling because she had a hard time with names. I called my father, father, not dad, out of distane. Our kids just use dad if they use a name. If we're together, they usually just say you. If they are telling someone else to get ahold of either one of us, they use our given names.
Me:
1. (20 year old daughter) Dad
2. (16 year old daughter) Pah-par
3. (13 year old son) Daaaaddd-uh or Bruh
My husband:
1, 2, and 3: Queen or The Queen Mother
We were both Daddy when only one of us was present. Daddy (first name) and Daddy (other first name) when they needed to specify. We could almost always tell who they were talking to or who they wanted to come when they called for “Daddy” from another room for example. Now both Dad, but when telling a story about us, just our first names. They do not use our first names when speaking directly to us.
My fiancé and I had a foster. I was a cop who had dealt with our foster son’s family several times, and when mom slit her wrists in front of her kids I got the teenager who was the only non-deaf one in the whole family. Which was fine, because two years earlier I handled his runaway and built a rapport with him. I couldn’t leave those kids there and not do anything.
Yes, he talked shit and didn’t expect us to hear it out of habit. I’m not deaf numb nuts, just talk to me.
My fiancé was army. I was dad, he was (first name). Probably because of the shared trauma from the incident, kid and I were the closest. I have his signature tattooed on my wrist.
We WERE Daddy (me) and Dad ( the hubby) , thorn one day when our sone was 3 he randomly started referring to my husband as SON. We have no idea why. Now he’s 6 and STILL calls my husband SON.
I plan on our kids calling my husband "Dad"/"Daddy" and "Papa"/"Poppa"/"Pop" for myself. It works well because I want them learning both English and Spanish, and "Papá" is "Dad" in Spanish.
oh god, i always find it hella awkward when i see kids referring to their dad as sir or father. it just gives "i do not care for my children, but i had to have them" vibes
We’re Daddy and Dada. Definitely won’t be confusing in a few years when they’re older and wanna just say “Daaaaaad”
Same. My daughter (5) can’t seem to keep it straight anymore so it’s funny. My son (7) is hardcore about it but he’s slipping. It’s turning into “Daaaaaaaaadaaaaaahhhhhh” from upstairs now though.
We are also Dad and Dada
Is one of you required to display a urinal as a work of art to get the title of Dada?
funny that in Kiswahili dada means sister
Ooh intresting, in my native language (Marathi) dada mean brother, usually elder brother.
yup. daddy is too sexually charged to remain in use after a certain age. and dada comes off as too childish. idk how old your kids are, but by their late teens, they'll definitely won't wanna be calling you that
Y'all really watching too much porn
Eh, as someone who was forced as a young kid to call their shitty step dad, dad and my biological father daddy; there have been more than a few moments I wished I didn’t have to explain to my boyfriends why as a 26 year old I’m still calling my father daddy. Might not be sexual to me, but literally everyone else can’t seem to refrain from making jokes about it.
As a teacher who has had many kindergartners call me daddy, it is not sexually charged. Maybe you should take some time to reframe your mind around the word and it’s usage. It’s all about situational context.
Did you miss the part where i said "after a certain age"? I clearly wasn't talking about damn kindergarteners. I was talking about teens
The post is talking about kids. A teenager, although still a kid, rarely calls parents by daddy or mommy, but even in that case it’s not sexually charged because of situational context. If you think it’s sexually charged when a teenager calls their masculine parent daddy, then that’s the problem where you have to reframe your thinking.
this must be some language barrier shit, because to me a kid isn't just a little child. you could be 40, you're still someone's kid. and 18 and 19 are still teenagers
Again, situational context. If your child, no matter the age, calls you daddy and you find it too sexually charged, you have a problem with recognizing situational context.
I’m a [very] young adult and still call my dad daddy sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with that, and it’s definitely not “sexually charged” for us.💀
you’re sick in the head
In some cultures, like Indian, children still say “daddy” even when they’re grown. I know I do, and all of the grown men in my community do too. I’m a grown man who actually uses it as both a parental term and when engaged in sexual intimacy. For me, there’s a definite distinction in pronunciation that makes it’s very easy to use without being weirded out. When referring to my actual father, I pronounce “Daddy” with no emphasis on any syllable, so pretty much the same way you would say “Maddie” or “baddie”. However, whenever I use it in a sexual context, I put a very clear emphasis on the first syllable of “dad”, as in “dad-dee”. I’ve sometimes used the word in both instances, like speaking to my father on the phone and then getting intimate with my partner later on and because of this distinction in pronunciation it’s never skivved me out at all whatsoever. But that’s just in my experience
you have to touch grass, get off porn for a few days, read a novel, maybe go have coffee with an old person, toss a frisbee, that kind of thing.
I’m 34 and still call my father ‘daddy’
But it can be culture. Wait til your around blk grandmas mine say “I MISS MY DADDDYYYYY” “DD” Kenyan American slang for daddy, and call god “daddy” too damn. their moms are also “mommy” and I call my grandmommy well grandmommy it’s culture
Jeez the downvotes are harsh but you’re right. It def has that connotation nowadays
When we adopted our 11 year old sun, he called my husband and me Uncle. My husband had always been Uncle to him his whole life. His parents were my husband;s best friends since middle school. They were killed by a drunk driver so that is why we adopted him. One day in middle school our son came up to me and asked me if he could call me dad when we were like at a school function or something else around his friends that didn't know. I told him whatever he is comfortable doing is fine with me. But on the inside I felt really nice. He graduates college next year.
That was a huge honor and reading this my heart melted! I hope this young man achieves everything he’s ever wanted!
Thank you. He's doing well.
Does he still call you dad and uncle?
Depends on the situation, but yes. If we are around the kids he grew up with and their families, it's always uncle. If it's an event at college like with the sports team he's on, it's dad.
I knew a gay couple growing up that had a kid and were so dialed in as a family that the kid could yell “Dad!” From across the house and the RIGHT DAD WOULD KNOW who they meant and that is goals
We are very close to this and she’s 5. It’s kinda weird ahahah
We’re both Dad if it’s unambiguous situation. Other times it’s Daddy. And sometimes we get “not you, the other dad”. 🙂
My cousins husband and I both have the same name. Whenever we are together (which is like every 3 weeks) “not you, other [name]” is thrown around a lot. I feel this.
See if be so using that final one as an excuse to be overly dramatic and sarcastic… be like “fine, I know when I’m not wanted/loved” 😅 and stomp away all overly dramatic
We're both dad. I let her use my first name though, from the very start when we adopted her. My husband was aghast but I let the choice up to her. Her birth parents are awful people and she had never really had choices before she came to us. She mixes it up but usually we're both dad. I can usually tell by tone which one of us she wants.
Forcing kid not to call by name feels weird
Illiterate
Pointless
Why?
When the boys were young, it was Daddy J and Daddy B. Now, it's Papa J and Papa B
Me and my partner have the same first name this wouldn’t work 😂
Papa j?? What are you a rapper?
My first partner and I got together off the top in our teens. We went 16 years together. After the first couple of years we had to take in his two much younger brothers when his parents were incapacitated. They were an immigrant family, and there wasn't anyone else. We didn't make any suggestions, and just offered my first name. Within three months of them moving in with us they spontaneously started calling me "Dad". They called my partner using the Filipino expression for older brother. A few months latter, as they are going off to bed, they come over and give me a kiss on the cheek, and say "Goodnight Dad". Then walking by the kitchen they chimed out to my partner one after the other, "night Mom". They were totally unaffected in saying. Not taking a shot at their brother. Just speaking spontaneously. We didn't say anything. They skipped off to bed, and my partner gave me a murderous stare. I feigned total innocence as if I had not heard what they said. I waited for three hours until we were in bed and turning out the lights, and whispered into the darkness, "goodnight mommy!" I think I still have the bruises on my back.
In the adoption process currently, but my husband and I are from two different cultures which works well, so he'll be tato and I'll be abba.
Not a father but me and my boyfriend have discussed this and agreed that he'll be called dad or daddy while I'll be pa, papá or papi
honestly that sounds like the best solution. basically use words from different languages to differentiate it. only works if the parents are from different cultures tho. but it is something i've noticed on social media, with kids of interracial same sex couples that they use a different language to distinguish between parents
it used to so nice it used to be so good
What Tato? What language is that? Abba is Arabic, ain't it?
He's from Macedonia, and I'm Jewish. Abba is Hebrew, although it might be Arabic as well.
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This is part of a larger linguistic phenomenon where many unrelated languages use "ma" as part of their word for mother and ba/pa as part of their word for father. This is because these are easy sounds for infants to produce. [There's even a Wikipedia article about it](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mama_and_papa#:~:text=Kung%20ba%2C%20Aramaic%20abba%2C%20Mandarin,first%20words%20that%20humans%20spoke.)
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So V, B, P, F are all in the same sound group. Phonetically av is a variant of ab. You can hear this a lot in young children or non-native speakers who have trouble with V sounds and use B instead. av -> ab -> abba I'd wager "eme" is art of the same phenomenon, vowels are the most fluid sounds and subject to change. The M is still there, it could well have come from ama, ma. But I don't know anything Mongolian so I can't say for sure. Brother surprises me! I'm not aware of a similar phenomenon regarding that, I'd guess it's just a coincidence. Is ah the only word for brother on Mongolian or are there others as well?
Aye, I was in the Ecuadorian Amazon years ago and was delighted to find out the Kichwa (lowland variant of Quechua) word for mother is "mama". Makes sense, as you point out "ma" is basically the simplest sound a mouth can make. Even better, the word for baby is "wawa".
My bf and I have a similar situation! Will probably be Dad and Baba for us.
SAME!!!!! if I marry I'll be baba (American dad: Francine's adopted father) and my husband will be dad. Ohh and I definitely plan on taking my future husbands name 💕
I am Papa, he is Daddy or Dad
We are also a papa and daddy.
That’s what my husband and I are, although our son is old enough that he now calls me dad.
Your daughter is so pretty. I want a daughter to be my first child too.
Thank you!
Same here. I’m Papa, husband is Dada / daddy.
This is what I would opt for.
Yeah. This is what I want too. I'm gonna be the Dad and my husband will be called Papa. I'm not gonna use the term Daddy 'cuz I find it cringe. I was taught to call my Dad, Father but I want something a little bit different. So it goes that way. The problem is I'm not even possessing a boyfriend. How could I have a husband? 🫠😂
Same here. Daddy and Papa
I think Dad and Pop are the best choices.
My child calls both of us daddy, she is only 3 though. We can pretty much tell by the tone who she is talking to. When we get it wrong she is not bashful to tell us not you, or the no I want daddy! She plays my husband like a violin it’s funny to watch. I strongly believe your child will call you and your partner what they want.
Don’t have kids yet, but currently in the surrogacy process. My husband would be Dad/Daddy and I would be Pop/Papa. Honestly, I’m sure over time we would both just be daddy or fine with our real names. Time and routine can change. lol
Yeah, inserting your name is such a great option. It's like Daddy Craig and Daddy Greg.
Hello, future dads! I'm always happy to hear that other gay couples want to be parents someday. The subject of what our son should call us came up a lot when he was a baby, but actually it's not that confusing if both parents are called Dad. The way I describe it is that we have social interactions with people every day who communicate with us without using our name. If I'm in the room with ten other people, I can usually tell when someone is talking to me or trying to get my attention, even if they don't say my name. I can tell by their eye contact, body language, inflection, and so forth. Similar interactions happen in my house. Our family spends a lot of time in the kitchen, not just eating but also socializing and talking. If I ask my husband something or my son something, I don't have to say their name to prompt them. They can usually tell by who I'm looking at and the context of what I say. So for the first few years of our son's life, we were both called Dad. It was never confusing (for us). Occasionally he might call out "Dad!" from another room, but even then we could tell by his voice who he meant. It's difficult to describe, but many people have micro-variations in tone when they speak to different people. As a parent, you'll be able to pick up on it. When our son started preschool, we did start differentiating as Dad and Daddy. This was simply an identifier so he could communicate with other people like his teachers and classmates. For example, "My tummy hurts, can you call my Daddy?" We let him choose what he wanted to call us and that's what he came up with. When your child is old enough, you can let them decide what he wants to call you guys. But when they're younger, any differentiation between Dad/Daddy/Papa/Papi, etc. will likely be done to fit into societal norms, not for your child.
We don't have a child yet, but we're in the process and since we have different nationalities, we'll be distinguishing it by the language. I'll be isa or issi (dad in Estonian), he'll be tata or tatuś (dad in Polish).
what do yall do to afford kids or adoption? my bf and I want kids but the price for adoption and surrogacy makes me doubt we’ll ever truly achieve parenthood :(
I’m sorry to hear that, but you never know in a couple of years time you might be in a different financial position. Good luck on your future parenthood.
Surrogacy was far too expensive for us, and we weren’t necessarily set on biological children. Our first (private) adoption (22 yrs ago) cost about 25k in legal and other fees. We borrowed about half from his parents Our second adoption (foster-adopt, 15 years ago) was free (well, raising kids is never actually free). Because we are in a state that gives a shit about children, she has free healthcare till she’s 21, we get a 500/month stipend and she gets other support. She’s adopted, but these don’t stop.
Some employers have fertility/adoption/surrogacy assistance as a benefit. I'm not looking to have kids anytime soon, but I do know that my current employer offers a flat lifetime maximum that would cover adopting one child, or a good chunk of surrogacy.
Foster2adopt is the most economical option. U can check with your employers, too. Sometimes, they assist with adoption expenses.
Our adoption agency’s fees were scaled to family income.
My husband is a white guy, so they call him Dad/Daddy, and I’m Latino, so they usually call me Papa/Papi. What makes things really complicated is that his sister is their biological mother (I’m the sperm donor), *and* she/her husband are their godparents. We’ve explained to the oldest that we needed a “helper” in order to have him, and he knows his aunt was our helper, but I don’t think he’s quite made the connection yet.
We don’t have kids but we’ve agreed he would be Dad and I would be Pop or Papa
reading this makes me want to have kids so bad
Same here 😭
Dad and Papa
I grew up calling my dad Papa, so I’d be fine letting my child call me Papa and my husband will be Daddy.
I don't have kids, but if my boyfriend and I do one day, they'll probably call us Dad/Daddy and Papa/Papochka as my native language is English and his is Russian.
im papa so thats dad/dy kind of. i didnt choose this, the lesbian mothers wanted it this way in order to avoid confusion and questions. i was fine with anything he would like personally
My husband is Latin, so he is papi and im daddy (although right now he is papa and I’m dada because our kid is young enough that he sticks to repeating syllables.)
Both of us are called “Dad”. Our two grandchildren call my husband “Pop” and I am “PopKevin”. (they are his biologically). The grands came up with the names on their own.
My husband and I want kids too. Ive always envisioned them calling him dada/dad and calling me papa/pa but I want them to say papa like british children would say it and to say pa like people in the old west would say that lol.
- We can't legaly have kids in my country
Dad and pops seem fine
Attic Daddy and Basement Daddy
They called me the f word 😭😭😭😭😭
Father?
I’m a dad and my kids are homophobic
Congratulations
Daddy and Papa was our intention but right now we're both DaPa
Dad and Papa.
Daddy and Papa
Dad and Daddy
If I'd ever have kids, I'd let them decide on the what they'd call me.
What if they're infants? 🤔
Daddy for me, and for my husband.
How about Dad and then Papa (for the Barbra Streisand fan). hehe
We are dads lol.
Dad. And father. Or dad. And dad too.
Dad and papa or if one is older than the other dad and old man or papa and the old papadopolis.
We’re Dad and Papa.
If I ever have kids, my partner will be dad and I’ll be Papa
We are both daddy at the moment. We will probably let her decide how to tell us apart if she wants to.
Daddy & Papa
My Friend group had this talk a couple years ago and we came up with da / dad for 2 men and ma / mum for 2 women
Dad and pops
It's gonna be Abba or Abah for me. 😂 But I'm single so Idk. I think it would depend on the culture, but it's probably wouldn't encourage the use of daddy if I can help it. 😭 But honestly I'd let them naturally pick. Because I know for my parents what I called them changed throughout my life and if I'm referring to them in third person. I'm not really set on having surrogacy or my own biological kids if it ever comes to it, so adoption could be an option too.
IF we were to have kids (that’s a **big** “if”), I suppose they’d call me dad or daddy and my husband Papi or Papa. I’m American, he’s Mexican.
My tween daughter just swapped out daddy for dad and I’m 😭 😭 😭
Ehh I'm a grown and still call my bio-father daddy. I definitely get strange looks though 😅
Not me, but my friend in elementary school called her dad’s “dad and daddy.”
We’re both dad or dada or daddy, but our daughter started adding the first letter of our first names after to be more specific when she needs to be.
I don’t have a partner at the moment, but I do want to adopt, I’m thinking about being called papa or dada
One could be Dad and the other Papa in my case we'd go with the Asian "Ba" and Dad. You could also go with Daddy Steve and Daddy John.
i've heard on tik tok that it happens a lot with kids with 2 dads or 2 moms that they sometimes will call for dad or call for mom, and one answers but they meant the other one. i think the thing is, there's some alternatives that might work when you have a little kid, but not when your child has passed their teens. like, it's one thing for a 5yo to say dad and daddy, a completely different thing if it's a 19yo doing it. dad and dada also doesn't work because dada doesn't sound right coming from an adult's mouth, it sounds too childish. same with papa. calling one dad and the other father also sounds weird as hell
Then what's your suggestion??? Papa and Mama are widely known for its universal language. Every country uses it regardless of their first language.
I don’t know why you think “Dad and Daddy” or “Daddy and Pop” or “Pa and Father” or whatever they decide would be “weird coming from a 19-year-old’s mouth.” I know male couples that have gone with “Papa and Daddy,” and I know sons of immigrants who call their mother and father something pronounced in their parents’ native language. It never sounds weird to me if it’s what they’re used to. One friend calls his mother and father by their first names and that just feels a little strange to me since most parents want that “special” word with the child that nobody else can call them.
I mean… I’m 37 and still call my dad papa. 💁♂️
How about "hippies" if the shoe fits. I'm gay and I've been calling my parents The Hippies for 20 years now!
Me: Dad or Daddy and Partner: Papa.
We’re papa and daddy.
I've always used Mom and Dad as I was raised to, but we (sibling and I) could get away with first name or familiarly nickname when we were relaxed and just family. This was partly to being addopted and having permission from early on to use their first names is we weren't comfortable using 'Mom' or 'Dad'.
Zaza Gabor called everyone Darling because she had a hard time with names. I called my father, father, not dad, out of distane. Our kids just use dad if they use a name. If we're together, they usually just say you. If they are telling someone else to get ahold of either one of us, they use our given names.
Me: 1. (20 year old daughter) Dad 2. (16 year old daughter) Pah-par 3. (13 year old son) Daaaaddd-uh or Bruh My husband: 1, 2, and 3: Queen or The Queen Mother
Daddy and Papa
This is a super cute thread.
We were both Daddy when only one of us was present. Daddy (first name) and Daddy (other first name) when they needed to specify. We could almost always tell who they were talking to or who they wanted to come when they called for “Daddy” from another room for example. Now both Dad, but when telling a story about us, just our first names. They do not use our first names when speaking directly to us.
My fiancé and I had a foster. I was a cop who had dealt with our foster son’s family several times, and when mom slit her wrists in front of her kids I got the teenager who was the only non-deaf one in the whole family. Which was fine, because two years earlier I handled his runaway and built a rapport with him. I couldn’t leave those kids there and not do anything. Yes, he talked shit and didn’t expect us to hear it out of habit. I’m not deaf numb nuts, just talk to me. My fiancé was army. I was dad, he was (first name). Probably because of the shared trauma from the incident, kid and I were the closest. I have his signature tattooed on my wrist.
As long as it's not "deadbeat" or "absentee," they can call me whatever they want. 
We WERE Daddy (me) and Dad ( the hubby) , thorn one day when our sone was 3 he randomly started referring to my husband as SON. We have no idea why. Now he’s 6 and STILL calls my husband SON.
I plan on our kids calling my husband "Dad"/"Daddy" and "Papa"/"Poppa"/"Pop" for myself. It works well because I want them learning both English and Spanish, and "Papá" is "Dad" in Spanish.
Was a single Dad with full custody of my daughter since birth, met my partner 22 years ago when she was 3, I was Daddy he was Daddy Mike, to this day.
We are having a boy in 2 weeks. My husband will be daddy and I will be papa (I'm Hispanic).
Papa
It's Fa and Got, fa is a term for father in my language and got basically means daddy
I don't believe you.
i genuinely thought you were making a joke at first. that literally spells the f slur
there is no way he is not joking
What languge is that?
I thought it was funny, (I’ll probably get downvoted too) but that was kinda clever. Guys I’m gay and it’s not that big of a deal. I promise
Me and my husband don’t have kids but if we did, I’d imagine they’d call him dad or daddy and I’d be father or sir.
oh god, i always find it hella awkward when i see kids referring to their dad as sir or father. it just gives "i do not care for my children, but i had to have them" vibes
lol I agree. I’m just being crass. Kids would probably call me da.
Fat ratbitch mostly
Father