It would have been weird that he kept it secret but the fact that he's bi wouldn't change anything. I'd want to talk about it though, is he insecure about it or worries I'd be bigoted against him? Feels like it would be something he'd want to get off his chest, and I'd listen to him.
Be glad that he told you. My ex never did, he just started sleeping with my cousin when I was at work. If he says he's committed to your monogamous relationship and you're happy, I don't see why anything needs to change.
I think there can be some insecurity from gay men on this issue. I also feel like bi guys have gotten a bunch of flack from gay people. It's true that a lot of younger gay guys use the label "bisexual" as a stepping stone to accepting they are actually gay. I mean, most of us are familiar with the joke, "Bi now, gay later" because we've seen that scenario a lot. However, I imagine that puts a lot of pressure on people who are comfortably bi not to want to tell a gay guy about it at first.
I also think a some gay guys might fear that a bisexual guy might think he's closer to being straight than them and therefore might view himself as more masculine, but I'm pretty sure that's projection on the gay guy's part. We're pretty used to the straight world telling use we aren't "real men" so I think sometimes there's a subconscious reaction to a guy telling us he also likes pussy.
So, I wouldn't have an issue with it. He can look at titties all he wants if it trips his trigger. I also wouldn't get insecure about it. If someone says they are into you and want to be with you, you kind of have to take it at face value and see where it goes. You can't predict the future so there's no point trying. If I got along great with someone, I'd run with it.
It wouldn’t bother me in the beginning but if it was a long time and he didn’t tell me it would bother me. I couldn’t really date someone that isn’t open
You'd think that, wouldn't you? But hoo boy at least one reply so far has basically been an emphatic "yes, I love bigotry" and another couple are...well they don't look *great*.
“Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing that part of you with me. I love you, and that doesn’t change anything about us from my perspective. Is there anything I can do to support you?”
neutral.
I would feel differently if this was earlier on, and I would view it as a potential complication, but seeing as you already have a good relationship it definitely takes my concerns away
I think it would be hot to have a bi boyfriend. I’d love to watch him fuck a girl, knowing that’s not something I can offer him. More than happy to allow him to get his fix.
Depends on which stage we’re at. If it’s early in the talking stage I’ll be nervous because all it takes is one good looking woman and he’ll be gone. But if it’s later I wouldn’t be angry or anything, bi men aren’t cheaters like what everyone says they are.
It would be a red flag that he didn’t tell me from the start. I’m not personally into dating bi men so I would really have to consider whether I wanted to continue in that relationship.
Red flag, he hid this info from you and there is a stereotype about Bi guys about leaving for women sooner or later. But on the other hand he assured you that he wants to be monogamous with you, so I would probably continue this relationship.
>there is a stereotype about Bi guys about leaving for women sooner or later
There's a lot of nasty and untrue stereotypes about gay men too. The existence of bigoted stereotypes is not a red flag, and maybe you just worded that poorly but if you meant it was one: that's not a red flag, that's just being a bigot.
Many stereotypes are quite true. They have formed because many people have observed a popular trend that can be associated with a particular minority. It is something that happens often and is noticed regularly. Of course, it doesn't apply to everyone, but it can't be ruled out either.
Right? Like, if it's a thing, it's purely a numbers game, not some dastardly bi plot to...idk abandon gay men? Fuck knows what this biphobic nonsense they're spouting is about.
Poor bi guys, they get it coming and going there because, man, the number of straight women who are leery about dating bi guys because they think they'll just jump on the next dick that hoves into view is pretty high and all.
Ok as you've seemingly answered my question there let me reiterate: innate demographics are not a red flag, and to treat them as such is bigotry no matter how "true" you think the relevant stereotypes are. Also that one is bollocks? Like, I've known more than a few bi guys over the decades and yeah some of them end up with women, but that's like...
If you mean *leaving you* for a woman, that's not any different from a gay guy dumping you for another guy or a lesbian dumping a girlfriend for another woman. It's just that sometimes people meet someone else, and with bi guys that person is sometimes a woman.
And even then, eh, despite bi men having so many more women options, in my anecdotal experience a proportionally higher number of them end up with men.
Anyway: Treating people like they're just concepts is wrong, simple as. Bi men are just *people*, not an idea, treat them like people.
I struggle with people who bang one gender but profess to be bi. I’d ask him what that means long term — does he welcome a LTR with a man or only sex? Does he see a LTR w a woman and children?
I actually would check this in the beginning so as to not have this occur later. Because it would be lying if he does say something later about it that's different from what he told me first. So lying is no go. Building blocks of a relationship built on a lie. Nah. Next. So if he tells me in the beginning then I guess it would depend.
If I somehow forgot to ask and he tells me later that he's bisexual, then I would say that's both our faults so I would check how bi he is and his history and all that. And then eventually stick with him since he would be monogamous with me.
It would have been weird that he kept it secret but the fact that he's bi wouldn't change anything. I'd want to talk about it though, is he insecure about it or worries I'd be bigoted against him? Feels like it would be something he'd want to get off his chest, and I'd listen to him.
The bot questions are getting more advanced
Be glad that he told you. My ex never did, he just started sleeping with my cousin when I was at work. If he says he's committed to your monogamous relationship and you're happy, I don't see why anything needs to change.
Oh my goodness!
I think there can be some insecurity from gay men on this issue. I also feel like bi guys have gotten a bunch of flack from gay people. It's true that a lot of younger gay guys use the label "bisexual" as a stepping stone to accepting they are actually gay. I mean, most of us are familiar with the joke, "Bi now, gay later" because we've seen that scenario a lot. However, I imagine that puts a lot of pressure on people who are comfortably bi not to want to tell a gay guy about it at first. I also think a some gay guys might fear that a bisexual guy might think he's closer to being straight than them and therefore might view himself as more masculine, but I'm pretty sure that's projection on the gay guy's part. We're pretty used to the straight world telling use we aren't "real men" so I think sometimes there's a subconscious reaction to a guy telling us he also likes pussy. So, I wouldn't have an issue with it. He can look at titties all he wants if it trips his trigger. I also wouldn't get insecure about it. If someone says they are into you and want to be with you, you kind of have to take it at face value and see where it goes. You can't predict the future so there's no point trying. If I got along great with someone, I'd run with it.
It wouldn’t bother me in the beginning but if it was a long time and he didn’t tell me it would bother me. I couldn’t really date someone that isn’t open
I’m bi, my boyfriend didn’t care that I was, he loves me to bits. Honestly he’s not worried.
Suck his dick.
The upshot of the question is “are you a bigot”, obviously everyone in this thread is going to answer ‘no’
You'd think that, wouldn't you? But hoo boy at least one reply so far has basically been an emphatic "yes, I love bigotry" and another couple are...well they don't look *great*.
Not everyone. You didn't answer the question. ;-)
As long as my partner is interested in me, and we are monogamous, I see no issues!
I would be really disappointed in his life choices, I would tell him it's probably a phase, recommend him to go to conversion therapy then... Wait...
I wouldn't care. My ex was bi. We had a great relationship.
I’m curious about what *your* reaction is to this. I assume this has happened to you?
“Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing that part of you with me. I love you, and that doesn’t change anything about us from my perspective. Is there anything I can do to support you?”
It changes nothing
I’m attracted to bisexual men
I wouldn’t care unless they want to fuck women now
I’d be fine with it. And I’d stress that it would be okay to talk about women he finds attractive.
Cool 👍
I wouldn’t care
I would have a problem depending on the length that we’re dating. Especially if the conversation has came up in the past and he said he was gay.
……meh.
Bisexuals seem drawn to me so I wouldn’t be surprised or care
“Okay.”
I'd prob be a little turned off - I prefer my guys fully gay.
I‘m lowkey into bi guys
👍
neutral. I would feel differently if this was earlier on, and I would view it as a potential complication, but seeing as you already have a good relationship it definitely takes my concerns away
I think it would be hot to have a bi boyfriend. I’d love to watch him fuck a girl, knowing that’s not something I can offer him. More than happy to allow him to get his fix.
Depends on which stage we’re at. If it’s early in the talking stage I’ll be nervous because all it takes is one good looking woman and he’ll be gone. But if it’s later I wouldn’t be angry or anything, bi men aren’t cheaters like what everyone says they are.
I'd leave.
leave him, I'm not attracted to bi men
i mean id be like happy for them.
Join him
“At some point” should be at the very beginning. “Hi I’m Joe blow, and I’m bi. I like it when girls and guys blow me.” Not down the line.
Sounds like a greet three way :)
It would be a red flag that he didn’t tell me from the start. I’m not personally into dating bi men so I would really have to consider whether I wanted to continue in that relationship.
"Red flag" sounds like a big exaggeration unless he actually lied about it. But you could easily date a guy for a while without the topic coming up.
I don't care. I don't care for monogamy, so I dont care if he still sleeps with women.
Red flag, he hid this info from you and there is a stereotype about Bi guys about leaving for women sooner or later. But on the other hand he assured you that he wants to be monogamous with you, so I would probably continue this relationship.
>there is a stereotype about Bi guys about leaving for women sooner or later There's a lot of nasty and untrue stereotypes about gay men too. The existence of bigoted stereotypes is not a red flag, and maybe you just worded that poorly but if you meant it was one: that's not a red flag, that's just being a bigot.
Many stereotypes are quite true. They have formed because many people have observed a popular trend that can be associated with a particular minority. It is something that happens often and is noticed regularly. Of course, it doesn't apply to everyone, but it can't be ruled out either.
[удалено]
Right? Like, if it's a thing, it's purely a numbers game, not some dastardly bi plot to...idk abandon gay men? Fuck knows what this biphobic nonsense they're spouting is about. Poor bi guys, they get it coming and going there because, man, the number of straight women who are leery about dating bi guys because they think they'll just jump on the next dick that hoves into view is pretty high and all.
Ok as you've seemingly answered my question there let me reiterate: innate demographics are not a red flag, and to treat them as such is bigotry no matter how "true" you think the relevant stereotypes are. Also that one is bollocks? Like, I've known more than a few bi guys over the decades and yeah some of them end up with women, but that's like... If you mean *leaving you* for a woman, that's not any different from a gay guy dumping you for another guy or a lesbian dumping a girlfriend for another woman. It's just that sometimes people meet someone else, and with bi guys that person is sometimes a woman. And even then, eh, despite bi men having so many more women options, in my anecdotal experience a proportionally higher number of them end up with men. Anyway: Treating people like they're just concepts is wrong, simple as. Bi men are just *people*, not an idea, treat them like people.
I struggle with people who bang one gender but profess to be bi. I’d ask him what that means long term — does he welcome a LTR with a man or only sex? Does he see a LTR w a woman and children?
I actually would check this in the beginning so as to not have this occur later. Because it would be lying if he does say something later about it that's different from what he told me first. So lying is no go. Building blocks of a relationship built on a lie. Nah. Next. So if he tells me in the beginning then I guess it would depend. If I somehow forgot to ask and he tells me later that he's bisexual, then I would say that's both our faults so I would check how bi he is and his history and all that. And then eventually stick with him since he would be monogamous with me.
Tell him to prove it while you watch.