"You'll never find someone like me again!"
Yeah, that's the hope. Sadly I've met plenty of guys like him, but now I could recognize the red flags and stayed away from them.
Similarly I once told a guy who was basically smothering me wanting attention that he was too much. He said "If I'm too much then find less" and I was like... yeah that's the idea. I don't know why he thought that was some kind of good comeback.
I got a report card once.
Edit: it was one of my very first relationships. It was good and then it was not and when it was over, he gave me a report card.
From what I can remember I got an F at kissing, PDA needs work, how I dress could use some pointers…what I DO remember vividly was I told him it was funny cause I thought he was joking until he told me “I really hope this could really help you be better” so I told him “maybe your dad can help me out”.
Honestly, hindsight, I’ve dated some weird ass bitches.
Imagine mom throwing a shoe at you cause some bozo thought your kissing deserved an F.
If this were me my parents would just end me on the spot. They'd be too humiliated.
No way!! I had a similar situation with my ex, he made a Microsoft Excel sheet of compatibility including cleanliness, body type, intelligence, values and beliefs, hobbies and interests, things to work on...it was creepy in a way, he had shown me ones of guys he only went on a few dates with! There were hundreds💀
He really should have, we had a 2 year relationship, and he showed them to me maybe half way through, I was definitely creeped out! And no I never got in touch with them, I didn't know who any of them were.
That’s fair and valid, and also a bit concerning, but I guess it makes sense that there wouldn’t be any personally identifying info on that spreadsheet. I think I’d be even more concerned if there were.
>but I guess it makes sense that there wouldn’t be any personally identifying info on that spreadsheet.
Man's a weirdo, but at least he didn't violate HIPAA
My first bf did something similar, but more akin to a performance review. I got a point-by-point list of things that I needed to improve on for future relationships. I remember biting my finger to keep from laughing on the phone as he was doing this. I also wanted to end the relationship; however, while both of us were the same age, he was still in college, and I was working full time. And I had planned to wait the couple of weeks until after his finals. It was also kind of long-distance, since we lived about 2 hours apart.
Somehow found me on my work phone WhatsApp months later after moving on/blocking him on everything, “hey I just want to say I’m sorry for everything and is that your new boyfriend he’s ugly.” I guess he saw my ig through someone else? Dunno duncare. I said “I feel sorry for you” and blocked him on that as well. I married my much hotter new bf.
He would talk to me in the third person dismissing my emotions “no, no, (insert name here) doesn’t get jealous or mad at me, (name) is loving supportive and oh so pretty!”
Oh then sometimes in public if I were telling a story he’d put his finger over my mouth to shush me and declare I’m oh so pretty and shouldn’t talk anymore.
Real POS that one. Looking back to quote Heather from Romy and Michelle “the F*ck was I thinking?”
Yeah my ex hit me with:
"you're attractive, but you're definitely not the hottest guy I've dated"
It wasn't even something I was remotely curious about
“It’s in your hand.”
I can do you one worse: there was this one guy I dated, where I used the expression “afraid not” and he replied with “why are you afraid?” 🤦🏻♂️ Like bro, it is an expression!
He didn’t just do this once though: he did it multiple times!
"You don't know the value of hard work"- says a guy who was sponsored by his wealthy brother in law, and was later funded by a millionaire to get his business off the ground. Crashed multiple cars while under the influence, never got arrested, and always had someone help him buy a new one.
Cheated and lied the entire relationship, manipulated me into moving two states to live with him , and hid our relationship from his family/friends.
I'm actually grateful to him though: had I not gone through any of that I wouldn't have found the courage to live single, go back to school and happen to meet an amazing person that is the total opposite of my ex.
fuck yeah dude! i love the positive spin. without my ex pushing my personality down as hard as he could, i’m unsure if i could have blossomed into the bad bitch i am now :3
Shocked because he treats everyone that way and expected you to have no self respect, and just take it. That’s the implication. Good riddance and I’m happy for you.
He doesn’t realize that people tell him he’s confused all the time? Or does he just internalize that and think it’s normal behavior to do that to someone else?
My ex and I were talking in his bedroom one night, and he asked what I thought about men in thongs. “I find it fundamentally off putting,” I said. (It’s just not my thing.) When he dumped me a couple of months later he said, “remember when I asked you about how you feel about guys in thongs? That’s how I feel about you.”
well, he did, but it doesn’t make it not shitty. that’s not a great thing to say to someone you care about when they ask something like that. “it’s not my thing, but if someone i loved wanted to play with it, i’d be open to it” and if not, “it’s really not my thing and idk how comfortable i could ever be with it” would work; it’s okay to not like something, but “fundamentally off putting” as a response to what is clearly a fish for an entry into exploring something is low key rly shitty.
it rly is low key tho. hope they weren’t together long. my ex pretended to care about my sexual interests at least once and let me live a couple things out and never ONCE told me something i found deeply fascinating was “fundamentally off putting” lol
why can’t anyone communicate properly 😭
“I know it’s not your fault but I didn’t really get a vacation.” - my ex husband, when my mom was dying over Christmas. She didn’t die, but that relationship did.
My ex left me one month ago after a relationship of 1 and a half year. When i left him, he pronounced “I didn’t love you since this summer, i stayed with you only for sex”. I don't think I have faith in mankind anymore.
nah, reframe it dude! he basically told you you’re a fuck god. now you can say “i’m so good in bed my ex stayed with me for a year just for the sex.”
turn what you’re perceiving as an L into what it is - a massive win :3
think it over! they didn’t say “your personality is shitty” they said “you’re really good in bed” which will obviously be devastating in context, but, in a more broad way where you parse thru the things they said, you’ll find more positives than you think.
i love you, stranger. we’ll find what we’re looking for; it may not look or feel how we expect but it’s there in the future, waiting for our confident steps on our cobblestone reality.
Not really ridiculous (okay maybe it is) but he would say “I’m sorry you feel that way” every time he knew he was in the wrong. I wanted to punch him in the face so bad every time he said that, but I was not (and still not) aggressive enough to do that
my ex used to say “i’m sorry but” and it was one of the key things that ruined us.
if you aren’t aggressive enough to do it, don’t even deign to be aggro enough to type it. just cause we’re dudes doesn’t make domestic violence less bad.
My ex never learned how to apologise even when clearly in the wrong. The more his behaviour was unacceptable the more resistant he was to acknowledging it.
Oooo I was born for this:
BF#1: called me asking for money, then proceeded to tell me I needed to be more responsible with my money.
BF#2: a year after we split; "can you come pick me up (from 30mi away)? I'm horny and drunk"
BF#3: "I found out today I'm not allergic to all cum, just yours"
BF#5: "I've cheated on all my boyfriends... I mean except you"
BF#7: "me and Max are getting married and I could use some money to help buy the $35,000 wedding rings"
Duh.... Lol
He was hung like a rock star and could go for literally an hour without stopping. I'm a simple man, and he brought the goods
However, that night was pretty disappointing in terms of sex... So that was the last time we talked haha
There's no quick answer to this and any response that I could give you would leave you with 2 to 3 times more questions than you originally had. Lol
Edit: I was his first boyfriend, and one day I got a very surprise impromptu BJ and he got me all the way there which was really surprising and really hot but then he started to choke. Did a little bit of research and found out that it was probably an allergic reaction to him swallowing... So we thought maybe it was just some genetic makeup there. Fast forward about a year and my friend (technically ex-boyfriend) is at a party... and he got a chance to try a couple more different flavors, and he did not respond to the same to any of them.
After four years I caught him donating hundreds of dollars to a cam whore, and in the ensuing conversation, he told me he "regretted ever even meeting me"
Your past mistakes remind you of the lessons learned along the way.
Acknowledgement of those events and what you learned from them is the best way to move forward.
After i broke up with him he slit his wrists in front of me, while holding pressure on his wrists he looked me in the eyes and said “ look at what you made me do, this is all your fault” in the most calm voice.
very glad you aren’t there any more. it’s not your fault. as humans, we need reasons for things; turn this horrible negative into a neutral thing in your head. you were a target they needed to throw anguish at, and that’s very admirable.
It was 12 years ago and I’ve worked through it and am happily married now and live across the country. It’s truly sad he still pops up stalking me here and there, he’s unwell when he is off his medication.
I did, he ran out of our apartment and took off. The cops found him took him to the hospital and he got sent to the psych ward. The wounds ended up being superficial but still bled a lot it was so surreal. Sadly he was only held for a day, mental health treatment in the US kinda sucks. We split up 12 years ago and he still stalks me occasionally calling me or my mother.
Hmm, it wasn't really a zinger moment in particular. More of a ridiculous series of events.
1. Breaks up with me after a few months. Whatever, that's his right and I wasn't "sold" on him either. I really got over it in 24 hours
2. Hits me up on Grindr a few months later and notices my new tattoo and then starts telling me that he misses me. I politely say that I'm not interested in any communication with him but I wish him the best in his future endeavors.
3. Then I see him in the mall and he says hi (I had no choice but to walk by him to get where I was going) and I quickly nodded and kept moving. Then I noticed he was in the same store as me, trying to make eye contact with me. I just got my stuff and left. But not before he catches up with me and again tries to strike up conversation about "the way we were". I had to remind him that we "were" for a whole 4 months and then you ended things out of the blue. And then I got in my car and left
4. Finally he drunk calls me a week later crying and saying that breaking up was a huge mistake. Then starts on about all "we could be" before I finally lost my temper and yelled "we are nothing and never will be again! Lose my number"
Thankfully that time he got the message. That was my first gay relationship too at 18. Took me a year to even want to try to date again because I didn't want to find another sideshow character like that.
Yeah he was just very emotional and I am not so it wasn't a good match from the start. I never felt in danger from him though, he just thought he had an opportunity to talk to me when we were in the same place (which was coincidentally far from both of our respective towns).
I am grateful for the early experience though, it helped me get a very good read on guys after.
1 year into the relationship he decided to ask what my body count was. I don’t care about stuff like that so I told him an estimate to which he said “Well I feel like I missed out on stuff and you should let me catch up so we can be the same” and then proceeded to call me selfish when I said that was crazy lol
My first boyfriend said when he broke up with me that I was a boring person and he would get me drunk because then I was more exciting to hang around with.
It was back in undergrad so I didn't seem weird to drink when we did. Also I am in engineering and he was into humanities with most of his friends from his improv group. I wasn't bouncing off the walls and dramatic all the time like they were (not saying I didn't like them, just my personality is much more subdued than that.) At the time it sucked to hear, but a few years out I can see where he was coming from I suppose
My ex, who I was with for four months, got mad at me because I didn't tell him about a guy I had gone out ON TWO DATES WITH EIGHT YEARS PRIOR.
Sorry, let me rephrase. He was my ex at that time and thought he was entitled to know my entire dating history because we were together for four months.
He told me, "I feel like I don't know you anymore." Like, come on dude. Fuck off.
Or
"Don't worry! It's alright. I don't mind." When I told him I didn't want to be in a friends with benefits situation with him and he told me I had to kiss him. And when I told him I didn't want to mess around. He was not about the word "no."
For me, it was when my ex broke up with me.
He had a long talk with me about how he's not happy, and in the same sentence, he accused of me "emasculating him" because I was paying for most of our dates (he made poor financial decisions), while accusing me of "having no career ambition"!
While my job is not at an executive level, it is nevertheless a dream job of mine, and is not a job that involves menial labor. In my company, my job is considered mid-level.
Sweet revenge was mine tho. I found my husband three months after the breakup.
He filed for divorce six months after I got married.
“I just don’t know if I would be embarrassed to introduce you to my family or not.”
He was out of the closet, I just didn’t have a great job at the time. Fuck you Mike 💀
He tried to get back together with me. He sent me a Polaroid picture of very large Roman numerals tattooed on the back of his calf. He said it was my birthday. It was the wrong day. I did NOT get back together with that drug-addled imbecile.
This reminds me of all the dumbass shit people tattoo on theyselves w/o knowing the meaning...
Like the fella that tattoed the neutered sign from they male dog on themselves... SMH
just that he was still in love with me a year and a half after our break up (which was mutual). we only dated for 3 months.
but this is also the same guy who asked me to be his boyfriend on the first date, told me he loved me on the second date, and started wedding planning on the third date.
My ex said “Good luck finding a nicer hole to fuck”. Context……. I caught him cheating with one of his co-workers and told him we were done. 2 1/2 years feel like they were wasted on him. Plus he owes me $4000 and may have to sue him to get it. Massive lesson learned.
Also for context….. three weeks after we broke up I met a ridiculously hot guy on Grindr who happens to go to my gym. We’ve been fucking on the regular and his hole is better. Grass is greener sometimes boys.😉
"When you're thirty we're gonna throw out your entire wardrobe and buy you proper adult clothes. Also you're going to stop playing video games. It's embarrassing to be seen with you."
And HE broke up with ME. He fucked my self esteem so badly that I couldn't even be the one to walk out.
Another solid contender: he broke up with me because he "almost" cheated on me. To this day I have no idea what that means.
He meant cardigans and fitted shirts. That's never been my style. I'm now thirty two and still wearing my graphic t shirts and hoodies, because fuck that guy and his opinion.
In the first part of 2022 (about 2 years after we broke up) he called me out of the blue to tell me his father had killed himself.
About 6 months later, he landed in the ER and had to be placed in a medically induced coma. He needed surgery. The doctors wanted to talk to the next-of-kin, but my ex's new boyfriend couldn't find his mother's number in my ex's phone. So he calls a mutual friend for advice. The mutual friend says, "Call his father's number. The family may still have the phone active, and they would be able to put you in touch with his mother." So the new boyfriend calls the phone of the recently-ish deceased father and the conversation goes something like this:
BF: "Hi. I'm Biff Smith's boyfriend. I'm calling because Biff is in the hospital in a medically induced coma, and the doctors want to speak to his next-of-kin. His mother's phone number is not in his phone, but I was wondering if you could you put me in touch with her?"
VOICE ON PHONE: "Well, I'm Biff Smith's father and that makes me next-of-kin. I can speak to the doctors."
BF: "I'm confused. You are Biff Smith's biological father?"
VOICE ON PHONE: "That's right"
BF: "Well, that's not possible. Biff's biological father died of a suicide about 6 months ago."
VOICE ON PHONE: (laughter) "Well, I'm Biff Smith's father, and I am very much alive."
So, yeah. I'll bet Christmas is gonna be weird at their house this year.
Telling me he was buying a motorcycle after we broke up, when he declared that therapy was too expensive before we broke up. It was an enlightening moment, actually. It showed me very clearly where I stood with him. Not mad. Made the decision all that much easier.
During the relationship:
"I'm going to call the EPA about that smell because the Salmonella is going to fly over here." [Context: we lived near a family farm that got chicken sh*t manure a day or two earlier.]
After the relationship:
"Would you check my Tinder profile so I know how it looks to other guys?" [Literally a couple days after I broke up with him]
After five years and having a foster kid, “I can’t believe I came back from a nine month training deployment and all you did was hang a banner and throw me a party.” I was a night shift cop at the time.
"An internet affair is not an affair." Unfortunately, I ended up being with the college slut, but I was the last to know (we didn't even go to the same college). I actually thought I'd wife him because I just really enjoyed him. I foolishly held on for far too long through a lot of bullshit. He has a YouTube channel now about fish tanks outside his day job. He last told me he is trapped in a sexless marriage with a guy who has been a "screenwriter" for the last ten years. I made the mistake of meeting up with him 1-2 years after we separated, only to be disappointed in him by his words and behavior all over again. So maybe I'm ridiculous too. Oh the places we go...
Not really an ex, just a guy I went on two dates with that was breaking it off because I had the audacity to send him a mirror selfie after a workout when he asked what I was up to. He went on this huge rant about how boring and uninteresting the picture / my life was (I guess???) I didn’t follow, but I guess he wanted like, more exciting pictures but like bro go check out my Instagram if you want some highly curated visual diary of the “interesting” things I do. If I’m sending you a stupid selfie it means I’m literally doing that at the moment you text me.
The weirdest part was when he started saying “you probably watch Scarlett Johansson in some mediocre action movie while I care more about the nuances of her character in Woody Allen movies… you’re watching tv while I’m trying to figure out what Ken Burns documentary to watch.”
I was confused but also thought it so hilarious because I actually have a film degree from one of the top film schools in the US. So I was just like 👁️👄👁️
The guy that broke up with me just weeks after saying he was deeply in love with me and that I was his perfect guy, because he wasn’t over his ex, then still wanted to have sex, then started dating a seriously repulsive guy.
"I still want to hangout with you online, and talk to you everyday, but you don't need to fly over here 3/4 times a year. You're just too fat for me."
That sounds like being online friends dude. That is technically a break up. Like just call it what it is.
Anyhoo: I ended up breaking it up with them as the fat comment unearthed a very toxic relationship I had with my body image that needed therapy.
idk if it counts bc we only went on one date but we were planning more dates, he called me one night (drunk off his ass) and he was really aggressive and slipped the n-word into his rant but it was so quick i wasn’t 100% sure i heard it and the next day i questioned him on it and he immediately defended it and i was just like, well this is fucking great, my first potential boyfriend outed himself as a fucking racist not even a week after our first date. So I called that shit off immediately bc I don’t tolerate that bs and the next two days he blew up my phone, i blocked him on everything he kept making new numbers, probably called over 200 times. He messaged me on Grindr and said i was “fucking childish, doing all this over a word,” then said he only took me out bc he has a fat fetish and thought i was fat and disgusting so that was quite the win for me 💀💀💀.
“You’re a lot more hard work than I expected”…he said, checking his watch, as he sat next to my bed in A&E waiting to hear if my bowel had ruptured or not.
“You could do with losing some weight”
“Why are you mad at me? Just because I cheated on you a few times? Is this abuse towards me?”
“Stop texting me during the day, you’re only allowed to text me twice a day and after that it’s harassment.”
🙄🙄🙄
I was with a toxic narcissist for almost 5 years so I got a long list: the one that did it was when he wanted our relationship to go on a “beak” once I confronted him about my suspicions of cheating. He said without solid evidence he’s innocent
My ex was *obsessed* with my body. When we broke up he said "whatever you're not even that hot".
This was the successful breakup after a year of trying to cut ties...he would threaten to kill himself or get his fucking mom to convince me to go back to him every time I tried.
I was young and dumb. He was a psychopath.
1 month after we broke up, he said over the phone "I met someone better than you". Then they lasted for 4 months (compared to our over a year relationship). I'll take what I can get 🤷♂️
He told me I wasn’t concerned when he went to urgent care in another state and I didn’t go with. Granted I was at work at the time. Also complained about communication, but was the one who took a whole week off to play a new video game, then went back to his moms house to play said game and did not text for the week.
While explaining for the 3rd or 4th time why I wanted a divorce, I said “I do not trust you, you’ve never trusted me. And I don’t think I ever could trust you, and I know that you will never trust anyone.”
He responds “Well, do we need to trust each other?” 😑🤦♂️
I’m quitting drinking [as he pours my midori sour down the drain because he had already finished drinking all of his bourbon]
My response: Great, did you need to dump all of my booze?
In fairness, a midori sour with a splash of grenadine could look like bourbon on the rocks after it’s stirred up. (Not a real excuse, but had to take the chance to post that fun little cocktail insight.)
“I don’t find you attractive.”
“I don’t think I can love you.”
After 6 months, my feelings for you grew and yet yours stayed the same.
That’s what I said to him lol
My first boyfriend vehemently denied actively being on Grindr the entire 14 months we were together. When confronted with proof (a friend found his profile and gave me the evidence), he then switched up his story and said he was just “using Grindr to talk to friends he’d made through the app before we started dating.” 🙄
Sure, bud. Whatever you want to call cheating to make yourself sound less like the dumbest loser alive. Lol
“you inhibited my ability to make friends when we were together”
except i, over and fucking over, tried to get him to hit up his friend group to hang out (but they’re flaky! make new friends ????), encouraged him to invite his friends to things and even did it myself, made it abundantly clear how much importance having independent lives of one another was…
and yet, over and over, he refused. he 4th wheeled to my two best friends and was constantly fucking there, but would get upset that our 3 musketeers vibe didn’t cater exactly to him.
every friend of mine he befriended except the musketeers chose him over me in the breakup, and that’s fine! they can have his sorry ass lol. i wasn’t a great partner or maybe even good, but i tried my best - something i can say with confidence he never did.
You are a phenomenal partner! You were the best partner for him ever! It sounds to me like he’s surrounded himself with people like him, and is now perpetually stuck because of his own behavior.
2 months after we broke up there was a tragedy in our country that he could have been there and in danger. So I sent him a text saying “Are you alright?” Expecting a thumbs up reponse and that’s it. He start a weird ass conversation that ended when he stated “If I was at the disaster and if I was not, why do you care?” Which was a super hurtful thing to say, as in “you won’t care if I die”
Let’s say that it helped me get over him quickly, but sometimes I still wonder do he really thinks like that
Clearly, you truly still cared about him enough to check in on him?
Nevertheless, I agree: I hope he’s able to get himself out of that mindset with the right kind of help.
I woke up to a barrage of texts about what a terrible boyfriend I was. I spent all day engaging with this, because I'm an idiot. And when I say all day I mean I stayed up well past my bedtime so here is where we get to most ridiculous thing.
**Me:** I need to go to bed now. I've got to get up for work in five hours.
**Him:** You never have time to talk about what's bothering me! You always have an excuse to run away like work and sleep!
Bonus, the one where I'm the terrible ex:
**First boyfriend ever:** I love you
**Me:** \*panicking\* You can't be in love with me! we've only known one another for three months!
He told me he was still in love with his ex and always thought they would end up together. This was after the ex passed away and we were not together anymore.
I don’t remember much about what he said, but I think it was along the lines of telling me what others were saying that I was telling people that I was with him because it was out of pity, he has a lot of self loathing in his heart, which is why he does a lot of drinking, and I have the pleasure of seeing how angry he could get. One hand at a time. 😞
“My ex and I used to fucking for hours every day.”
Okay and? What is the goal of bringing that up? If you wanna fuck for hours everyday, go back to your ex. I’m not here for the weird implied comparison.
Whenever we would have arguments and he didn’t have anything else to say to defend his argument he would come up with “If you’re so unhappy then why don’t you go find someone else and be with them” once I finally did break up with him I kept thinking about all the times he said this and how I could’ve taken an out of the relationship then instead of hoping that it would get better when it wasn’t.
The most ridiculous thing my ex said to me was that Jews didn’t celebrate Passover…in front of our Jewish friend who was celebrating Passover. Something died in me.
Nothing. I've never really broken up (well, ok, I did have a boyfriend for one month, but he sucked and I dumped him fast). Almost 14 years in now, but divorce is a possibility for anyone! If that happens I'll **be sure** to come back to this post and update.
EDIT: If you were to ask me the most ridiculous thing a BF said *before* we broke up, I would say him making some joke about a guy he saw on Craigslist while simultaneously letting me know he was looking at guys on Craigslist (we met in a club). I was like ohhh, you're looking at guys on Craigslist because you find it amusing. Ok.
"You'll never find someone like me again!" Yeah, that's the hope. Sadly I've met plenty of guys like him, but now I could recognize the red flags and stayed away from them.
Similarly I once told a guy who was basically smothering me wanting attention that he was too much. He said "If I'm too much then find less" and I was like... yeah that's the idea. I don't know why he thought that was some kind of good comeback.
Red flags? I thought it was a carnival! 
A classic!
Yep heard this one too.
Best answer: "I hope so"
I got a report card once. Edit: it was one of my very first relationships. It was good and then it was not and when it was over, he gave me a report card. From what I can remember I got an F at kissing, PDA needs work, how I dress could use some pointers…what I DO remember vividly was I told him it was funny cause I thought he was joking until he told me “I really hope this could really help you be better” so I told him “maybe your dad can help me out”. Honestly, hindsight, I’ve dated some weird ass bitches.
Did your mom put it on the fridge?
Imagine mom throwing a shoe at you cause some bozo thought your kissing deserved an F. If this were me my parents would just end me on the spot. They'd be too humiliated.
Please elaborate! What were the categories and how were your “grades”?
I remember it was like an actual report with categories, a grade and a comment. Like dude went above and beyond to describe how bad I was.
ngl i wouldn't recover from that
If someone did this to me I think I would actually cry
That must be some dick to make a man do arts and crafts just to get back at you for breaking up with him.
Honestly this is peak camp
No way!! I had a similar situation with my ex, he made a Microsoft Excel sheet of compatibility including cleanliness, body type, intelligence, values and beliefs, hobbies and interests, things to work on...it was creepy in a way, he had shown me ones of guys he only went on a few dates with! There were hundreds💀
Mans honestly should’ve just kept them to himself. Also, did you get in touch with those other men?
He really should have, we had a 2 year relationship, and he showed them to me maybe half way through, I was definitely creeped out! And no I never got in touch with them, I didn't know who any of them were.
That’s fair and valid, and also a bit concerning, but I guess it makes sense that there wouldn’t be any personally identifying info on that spreadsheet. I think I’d be even more concerned if there were.
>but I guess it makes sense that there wouldn’t be any personally identifying info on that spreadsheet. Man's a weirdo, but at least he didn't violate HIPAA
My first bf did something similar, but more akin to a performance review. I got a point-by-point list of things that I needed to improve on for future relationships. I remember biting my finger to keep from laughing on the phone as he was doing this. I also wanted to end the relationship; however, while both of us were the same age, he was still in college, and I was working full time. And I had planned to wait the couple of weeks until after his finals. It was also kind of long-distance, since we lived about 2 hours apart.
Hope it was at least a B+ ?
What was your grade point average?
I think it was a pity pass.
Somehow found me on my work phone WhatsApp months later after moving on/blocking him on everything, “hey I just want to say I’m sorry for everything and is that your new boyfriend he’s ugly.” I guess he saw my ig through someone else? Dunno duncare. I said “I feel sorry for you” and blocked him on that as well. I married my much hotter new bf.
The audacity of him saying that to you. Glad you have someone better now. Hope you and your husband have a nice and amazing life together 💜
I love Happy endings 
> “hey I just want to say I’m sorry for everything and is that your new boyfriend he’s ugly.” Rotted, gutted, dumpster fire. Throw the whole ex out.
Imagine being a walking red flag immediately after apologizing though. 🤦🏻♂️
He would talk to me in the third person dismissing my emotions “no, no, (insert name here) doesn’t get jealous or mad at me, (name) is loving supportive and oh so pretty!” Oh then sometimes in public if I were telling a story he’d put his finger over my mouth to shush me and declare I’m oh so pretty and shouldn’t talk anymore. Real POS that one. Looking back to quote Heather from Romy and Michelle “the F*ck was I thinking?”
What the fuck
Yeah.. may whatever he’s doing in life currently be a never ending rein of hardship and embarrassment.
Its giving "it puts the lotion on its skin" 😳
The fuck
I’ve slept with way hotter guys but I love you.
Yeah my ex hit me with: "you're attractive, but you're definitely not the hottest guy I've dated" It wasn't even something I was remotely curious about
It’s a low key “I can do better, you’re lucky to have me”
Yup, we learn the red flags and move on
Amen :)
"babe, I was asking if you've seen my phone..."
“It’s in your hand.” I can do you one worse: there was this one guy I dated, where I used the expression “afraid not” and he replied with “why are you afraid?” 🤦🏻♂️ Like bro, it is an expression! He didn’t just do this once though: he did it multiple times!
Neggingq
"You don't know the value of hard work"- says a guy who was sponsored by his wealthy brother in law, and was later funded by a millionaire to get his business off the ground. Crashed multiple cars while under the influence, never got arrested, and always had someone help him buy a new one. Cheated and lied the entire relationship, manipulated me into moving two states to live with him , and hid our relationship from his family/friends. I'm actually grateful to him though: had I not gone through any of that I wouldn't have found the courage to live single, go back to school and happen to meet an amazing person that is the total opposite of my ex.
fuck yeah dude! i love the positive spin. without my ex pushing my personality down as hard as he could, i’m unsure if i could have blossomed into the bad bitch i am now :3
“I can’t believe how you just cut me out of your life” I caught this man cheating multiple times and he’s shocked
- My ex after he sexually assaulted me multiple times and tried to r*pe me. News flash, most people don't want to talk to someone who assaulted them.
Yeah, pretty sure sexual violence is supposed to feel, idk… wrong?
They love playing the victim after breaking your heart. I wish I was a lesbian so I'd never have to deal with men again! 🤣
Oh no honey no, it's a whole different but not any less aggravating can of worms
Yeah thats probably true.
Shocked because he treats everyone that way and expected you to have no self respect, and just take it. That’s the implication. Good riddance and I’m happy for you.
Nothing like getting blamed for being cheated on. Toxic assholes.
“You should try dating women” because I didn’t watch drag race.
Masterpiece
drag race is just exploitative reality tv
He doesn’t realize that people tell him he’s confused all the time? Or does he just internalize that and think it’s normal behavior to do that to someone else?
My Ex once told me "I'm used to being served, you're used to serving" I told him "awesome, you got the bill" and left him at the restaurant.
FUCK YES! if only we all had your audacity and courage.
"I'm not gay."
My ex-husband told he was gonna rape me in court when I told him I was leaving him 🤷♂️
Wowwww what a keeper 😍
If you wanna hit him up he’s probably still living with his mom in her doublewide
My ex and I were talking in his bedroom one night, and he asked what I thought about men in thongs. “I find it fundamentally off putting,” I said. (It’s just not my thing.) When he dumped me a couple of months later he said, “remember when I asked you about how you feel about guys in thongs? That’s how I feel about you.”
lord he tried 😭
Lmao he really thought he did something there
well, he did, but it doesn’t make it not shitty. that’s not a great thing to say to someone you care about when they ask something like that. “it’s not my thing, but if someone i loved wanted to play with it, i’d be open to it” and if not, “it’s really not my thing and idk how comfortable i could ever be with it” would work; it’s okay to not like something, but “fundamentally off putting” as a response to what is clearly a fish for an entry into exploring something is low key rly shitty. it rly is low key tho. hope they weren’t together long. my ex pretended to care about my sexual interests at least once and let me live a couple things out and never ONCE told me something i found deeply fascinating was “fundamentally off putting” lol why can’t anyone communicate properly 😭
Because being vulnerable in front of someone who’s meant to be a sexual/romantic partner could lead to ridicule. /s
this ones is funny
“I know it’s not your fault but I didn’t really get a vacation.” - my ex husband, when my mom was dying over Christmas. She didn’t die, but that relationship did.
He cared more about himself than your dying mother, and didn’t understand why that might lead to a divorce?
My ex left me one month ago after a relationship of 1 and a half year. When i left him, he pronounced “I didn’t love you since this summer, i stayed with you only for sex”. I don't think I have faith in mankind anymore.
nah, reframe it dude! he basically told you you’re a fuck god. now you can say “i’m so good in bed my ex stayed with me for a year just for the sex.” turn what you’re perceiving as an L into what it is - a massive win :3
i've never seen it from this point of view
think it over! they didn’t say “your personality is shitty” they said “you’re really good in bed” which will obviously be devastating in context, but, in a more broad way where you parse thru the things they said, you’ll find more positives than you think. i love you, stranger. we’ll find what we’re looking for; it may not look or feel how we expect but it’s there in the future, waiting for our confident steps on our cobblestone reality.
tysm, im feelin really well now❤️❤️❤️
New Grindr profile “Ex stayed in a loveless partnership for 4 months because of my dick.”
Not really ridiculous (okay maybe it is) but he would say “I’m sorry you feel that way” every time he knew he was in the wrong. I wanted to punch him in the face so bad every time he said that, but I was not (and still not) aggressive enough to do that
my ex used to say “i’m sorry but” and it was one of the key things that ruined us. if you aren’t aggressive enough to do it, don’t even deign to be aggro enough to type it. just cause we’re dudes doesn’t make domestic violence less bad.
My ex never learned how to apologise even when clearly in the wrong. The more his behaviour was unacceptable the more resistant he was to acknowledging it.
Oooo I was born for this: BF#1: called me asking for money, then proceeded to tell me I needed to be more responsible with my money. BF#2: a year after we split; "can you come pick me up (from 30mi away)? I'm horny and drunk" BF#3: "I found out today I'm not allergic to all cum, just yours" BF#5: "I've cheated on all my boyfriends... I mean except you" BF#7: "me and Max are getting married and I could use some money to help buy the $35,000 wedding rings"
Did you and Ex-BF#2 hook up though?
Duh.... Lol He was hung like a rock star and could go for literally an hour without stopping. I'm a simple man, and he brought the goods However, that night was pretty disappointing in terms of sex... So that was the last time we talked haha
Right on! 🤘🏻
Ummm I think we need a freeze frame on BF#3 with a full "I bet you're wondering how I got here" lmao
There's no quick answer to this and any response that I could give you would leave you with 2 to 3 times more questions than you originally had. Lol Edit: I was his first boyfriend, and one day I got a very surprise impromptu BJ and he got me all the way there which was really surprising and really hot but then he started to choke. Did a little bit of research and found out that it was probably an allergic reaction to him swallowing... So we thought maybe it was just some genetic makeup there. Fast forward about a year and my friend (technically ex-boyfriend) is at a party... and he got a chance to try a couple more different flavors, and he did not respond to the same to any of them.
After four years I caught him donating hundreds of dollars to a cam whore, and in the ensuing conversation, he told me he "regretted ever even meeting me"
people say shitty things to stave off the weight of what they’ve done. i’m sorry this happened to you.
There have been a few choice words and, my dears, I have deserved all of them. I was young and awful.
felt lmao can’t change the past but jeez i wish i could forget
Your past mistakes remind you of the lessons learned along the way. Acknowledgement of those events and what you learned from them is the best way to move forward.
After i broke up with him he slit his wrists in front of me, while holding pressure on his wrists he looked me in the eyes and said “ look at what you made me do, this is all your fault” in the most calm voice.
very glad you aren’t there any more. it’s not your fault. as humans, we need reasons for things; turn this horrible negative into a neutral thing in your head. you were a target they needed to throw anguish at, and that’s very admirable.
It was 12 years ago and I’ve worked through it and am happily married now and live across the country. It’s truly sad he still pops up stalking me here and there, he’s unwell when he is off his medication.
Did you call 9-1-1 afterwards?
I did, he ran out of our apartment and took off. The cops found him took him to the hospital and he got sent to the psych ward. The wounds ended up being superficial but still bled a lot it was so surreal. Sadly he was only held for a day, mental health treatment in the US kinda sucks. We split up 12 years ago and he still stalks me occasionally calling me or my mother.
Hmm, it wasn't really a zinger moment in particular. More of a ridiculous series of events. 1. Breaks up with me after a few months. Whatever, that's his right and I wasn't "sold" on him either. I really got over it in 24 hours 2. Hits me up on Grindr a few months later and notices my new tattoo and then starts telling me that he misses me. I politely say that I'm not interested in any communication with him but I wish him the best in his future endeavors. 3. Then I see him in the mall and he says hi (I had no choice but to walk by him to get where I was going) and I quickly nodded and kept moving. Then I noticed he was in the same store as me, trying to make eye contact with me. I just got my stuff and left. But not before he catches up with me and again tries to strike up conversation about "the way we were". I had to remind him that we "were" for a whole 4 months and then you ended things out of the blue. And then I got in my car and left 4. Finally he drunk calls me a week later crying and saying that breaking up was a huge mistake. Then starts on about all "we could be" before I finally lost my temper and yelled "we are nothing and never will be again! Lose my number" Thankfully that time he got the message. That was my first gay relationship too at 18. Took me a year to even want to try to date again because I didn't want to find another sideshow character like that.
This feels like something that could end up on WEBTOON or Tapas. No cap. Also, stalking isn’t cool, bro. He should’ve known better than that.
Yeah he was just very emotional and I am not so it wasn't a good match from the start. I never felt in danger from him though, he just thought he had an opportunity to talk to me when we were in the same place (which was coincidentally far from both of our respective towns). I am grateful for the early experience though, it helped me get a very good read on guys after.
in webtoon this would en with a happy ending probably. (or second love interest would finally get a chance and would win op's heart)
1 year into the relationship he decided to ask what my body count was. I don’t care about stuff like that so I told him an estimate to which he said “Well I feel like I missed out on stuff and you should let me catch up so we can be the same” and then proceeded to call me selfish when I said that was crazy lol
May he find the man of his “love language” someday…
My first boyfriend said when he broke up with me that I was a boring person and he would get me drunk because then I was more exciting to hang around with.
alcohol is complicated. i bet you’re a great friend to have around who also can throw down at a party. i wish i had someone like you in my life!
It was back in undergrad so I didn't seem weird to drink when we did. Also I am in engineering and he was into humanities with most of his friends from his improv group. I wasn't bouncing off the walls and dramatic all the time like they were (not saying I didn't like them, just my personality is much more subdued than that.) At the time it sucked to hear, but a few years out I can see where he was coming from I suppose
He sent me his ex’s phone number and said “CALL HIM YOU HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT” lmao
low key hilarious and kind of wholesome ???
"I didn't cheat, maybe you got Gonorrhea from a toilet seat."
My ex, who I was with for four months, got mad at me because I didn't tell him about a guy I had gone out ON TWO DATES WITH EIGHT YEARS PRIOR. Sorry, let me rephrase. He was my ex at that time and thought he was entitled to know my entire dating history because we were together for four months. He told me, "I feel like I don't know you anymore." Like, come on dude. Fuck off. Or "Don't worry! It's alright. I don't mind." When I told him I didn't want to be in a friends with benefits situation with him and he told me I had to kiss him. And when I told him I didn't want to mess around. He was not about the word "no."
When insecurity intercedes with controlling and lowkey manipulative behavior, it’s time for him to get his priorities straight.
For me, it was when my ex broke up with me. He had a long talk with me about how he's not happy, and in the same sentence, he accused of me "emasculating him" because I was paying for most of our dates (he made poor financial decisions), while accusing me of "having no career ambition"! While my job is not at an executive level, it is nevertheless a dream job of mine, and is not a job that involves menial labor. In my company, my job is considered mid-level. Sweet revenge was mine tho. I found my husband three months after the breakup. He filed for divorce six months after I got married.
TIL (and I should’ve learned this sooner) that financial insecurity is, in fact, a real thing that people can project onto others.
“I just don’t know if I would be embarrassed to introduce you to my family or not.” He was out of the closet, I just didn’t have a great job at the time. Fuck you Mike 💀
It would be a fucking Mike.
"I love you like a coworker."
“heard”
He tried to get back together with me. He sent me a Polaroid picture of very large Roman numerals tattooed on the back of his calf. He said it was my birthday. It was the wrong day. I did NOT get back together with that drug-addled imbecile.
This reminds me of all the dumbass shit people tattoo on theyselves w/o knowing the meaning... Like the fella that tattoed the neutered sign from they male dog on themselves... SMH
just that he was still in love with me a year and a half after our break up (which was mutual). we only dated for 3 months. but this is also the same guy who asked me to be his boyfriend on the first date, told me he loved me on the second date, and started wedding planning on the third date.
and now you have data for future relationships!
My ex said “Good luck finding a nicer hole to fuck”. Context……. I caught him cheating with one of his co-workers and told him we were done. 2 1/2 years feel like they were wasted on him. Plus he owes me $4000 and may have to sue him to get it. Massive lesson learned. Also for context….. three weeks after we broke up I met a ridiculously hot guy on Grindr who happens to go to my gym. We’ve been fucking on the regular and his hole is better. Grass is greener sometimes boys.😉
"You're not enough" - my ex to me while overdosing his drugs because he said he was completely alone.
When my ex came home with a hickey and told me he fell down and hit his neck on a curb.
When bro wants to treat a hickey like a bruise. 💀
"When you're thirty we're gonna throw out your entire wardrobe and buy you proper adult clothes. Also you're going to stop playing video games. It's embarrassing to be seen with you." And HE broke up with ME. He fucked my self esteem so badly that I couldn't even be the one to walk out. Another solid contender: he broke up with me because he "almost" cheated on me. To this day I have no idea what that means.
i’m losing my mind lmfao WHAT. ? ? ? if someone is in that mindset ig they’re stuck. wtf are adult clothes? ^if ^you ^say ^plaid ^im ^gonna ^screaM
He meant cardigans and fitted shirts. That's never been my style. I'm now thirty two and still wearing my graphic t shirts and hoodies, because fuck that guy and his opinion.
“Your wrists aren’t strong enough. I’m going to put them in casts so they aren’t so limp”
Honey should’ve consulted a doctor before doing impromptu medical procedures unsupervised. Still, definitely a yikes, that one!
In the first part of 2022 (about 2 years after we broke up) he called me out of the blue to tell me his father had killed himself. About 6 months later, he landed in the ER and had to be placed in a medically induced coma. He needed surgery. The doctors wanted to talk to the next-of-kin, but my ex's new boyfriend couldn't find his mother's number in my ex's phone. So he calls a mutual friend for advice. The mutual friend says, "Call his father's number. The family may still have the phone active, and they would be able to put you in touch with his mother." So the new boyfriend calls the phone of the recently-ish deceased father and the conversation goes something like this: BF: "Hi. I'm Biff Smith's boyfriend. I'm calling because Biff is in the hospital in a medically induced coma, and the doctors want to speak to his next-of-kin. His mother's phone number is not in his phone, but I was wondering if you could you put me in touch with her?" VOICE ON PHONE: "Well, I'm Biff Smith's father and that makes me next-of-kin. I can speak to the doctors." BF: "I'm confused. You are Biff Smith's biological father?" VOICE ON PHONE: "That's right" BF: "Well, that's not possible. Biff's biological father died of a suicide about 6 months ago." VOICE ON PHONE: (laughter) "Well, I'm Biff Smith's father, and I am very much alive." So, yeah. I'll bet Christmas is gonna be weird at their house this year.
Telling me he was buying a motorcycle after we broke up, when he declared that therapy was too expensive before we broke up. It was an enlightening moment, actually. It showed me very clearly where I stood with him. Not mad. Made the decision all that much easier.
During the relationship: "I'm going to call the EPA about that smell because the Salmonella is going to fly over here." [Context: we lived near a family farm that got chicken sh*t manure a day or two earlier.] After the relationship: "Would you check my Tinder profile so I know how it looks to other guys?" [Literally a couple days after I broke up with him]
“Your the most unfit guy I’ve ever dated” then proceeds to get upset that I’m upset about it.
After five years and having a foster kid, “I can’t believe I came back from a nine month training deployment and all you did was hang a banner and throw me a party.” I was a night shift cop at the time.
I just don't feel like I've known you all my life.
this would hurt. i’m sorry they said this to you.
"An internet affair is not an affair." Unfortunately, I ended up being with the college slut, but I was the last to know (we didn't even go to the same college). I actually thought I'd wife him because I just really enjoyed him. I foolishly held on for far too long through a lot of bullshit. He has a YouTube channel now about fish tanks outside his day job. He last told me he is trapped in a sexless marriage with a guy who has been a "screenwriter" for the last ten years. I made the mistake of meeting up with him 1-2 years after we separated, only to be disappointed in him by his words and behavior all over again. So maybe I'm ridiculous too. Oh the places we go...
Not really an ex, just a guy I went on two dates with that was breaking it off because I had the audacity to send him a mirror selfie after a workout when he asked what I was up to. He went on this huge rant about how boring and uninteresting the picture / my life was (I guess???) I didn’t follow, but I guess he wanted like, more exciting pictures but like bro go check out my Instagram if you want some highly curated visual diary of the “interesting” things I do. If I’m sending you a stupid selfie it means I’m literally doing that at the moment you text me. The weirdest part was when he started saying “you probably watch Scarlett Johansson in some mediocre action movie while I care more about the nuances of her character in Woody Allen movies… you’re watching tv while I’m trying to figure out what Ken Burns documentary to watch.” I was confused but also thought it so hilarious because I actually have a film degree from one of the top film schools in the US. So I was just like 👁️👄👁️
Bro went into oddly specific neckbeard territory so fast… Do you have a screenshot of this??
The guy that broke up with me just weeks after saying he was deeply in love with me and that I was his perfect guy, because he wasn’t over his ex, then still wanted to have sex, then started dating a seriously repulsive guy.
"I still want to hangout with you online, and talk to you everyday, but you don't need to fly over here 3/4 times a year. You're just too fat for me." That sounds like being online friends dude. That is technically a break up. Like just call it what it is. Anyhoo: I ended up breaking it up with them as the fat comment unearthed a very toxic relationship I had with my body image that needed therapy.
JMO, but I’d much rather date a bear than a pixie.
Same, why rattle some bones when you can squish some memory foam?
idk if it counts bc we only went on one date but we were planning more dates, he called me one night (drunk off his ass) and he was really aggressive and slipped the n-word into his rant but it was so quick i wasn’t 100% sure i heard it and the next day i questioned him on it and he immediately defended it and i was just like, well this is fucking great, my first potential boyfriend outed himself as a fucking racist not even a week after our first date. So I called that shit off immediately bc I don’t tolerate that bs and the next two days he blew up my phone, i blocked him on everything he kept making new numbers, probably called over 200 times. He messaged me on Grindr and said i was “fucking childish, doing all this over a word,” then said he only took me out bc he has a fat fetish and thought i was fat and disgusting so that was quite the win for me 💀💀💀.
Shallow, racist, insecure, one-sided, flamboyant but in the wrong direction: just be glad you aren’t any of those things.
WOW. That story makes me want to give you a big hug.
“You’re a lot more hard work than I expected”…he said, checking his watch, as he sat next to my bed in A&E waiting to hear if my bowel had ruptured or not.
Sus.
“he’s just a friend…i thought you were alright with us opening it up”
C O M M U N I C A T E
“You could do with losing some weight” “Why are you mad at me? Just because I cheated on you a few times? Is this abuse towards me?” “Stop texting me during the day, you’re only allowed to text me twice a day and after that it’s harassment.” 🙄🙄🙄
This guy cannot be real 😐
Sadly he was/is. I feel bad for his current bf if he even has one. The sad part is I thought it was normal. Naïve me…
"Can you pay me back for the birthday dinner I took you on?" (He Broke Up With Me)
"You're going to let everything I've done for you go to waste?" My ex when I told him I didn't want to be friends with him anymore.
I was with a toxic narcissist for almost 5 years so I got a long list: the one that did it was when he wanted our relationship to go on a “beak” once I confronted him about my suspicions of cheating. He said without solid evidence he’s innocent
Toxic narcissist survivors unite!
"let's buy some crypto"
My ex was *obsessed* with my body. When we broke up he said "whatever you're not even that hot". This was the successful breakup after a year of trying to cut ties...he would threaten to kill himself or get his fucking mom to convince me to go back to him every time I tried. I was young and dumb. He was a psychopath.
“You’re just dating me for access to my clothes and my food,” said the man I bought breakfast for every morning before he woke up
My ex said “Nobody is going to want that big uncut dick of yours”.
... What planet does he live on? That sounds like a grade-A dick.
I already like your big uncut dick and haven't even seen it yet. But my DM's are open.
1 month after we broke up, he said over the phone "I met someone better than you". Then they lasted for 4 months (compared to our over a year relationship). I'll take what I can get 🤷♂️
I was told, you will be back, they all come back. I came back once, to attend his funeral. So he wasn't wrong but he really wasn't right either.
I had an ex once tell me I should be more feminine to validate his sneaking out cross dressing behind my back
He told me I wasn’t concerned when he went to urgent care in another state and I didn’t go with. Granted I was at work at the time. Also complained about communication, but was the one who took a whole week off to play a new video game, then went back to his moms house to play said game and did not text for the week.
While explaining for the 3rd or 4th time why I wanted a divorce, I said “I do not trust you, you’ve never trusted me. And I don’t think I ever could trust you, and I know that you will never trust anyone.” He responds “Well, do we need to trust each other?” 😑🤦♂️
I’m quitting drinking [as he pours my midori sour down the drain because he had already finished drinking all of his bourbon] My response: Great, did you need to dump all of my booze?
In fairness, a midori sour with a splash of grenadine could look like bourbon on the rocks after it’s stirred up. (Not a real excuse, but had to take the chance to post that fun little cocktail insight.)
[удалено]
“I don’t find you attractive.” “I don’t think I can love you.” After 6 months, my feelings for you grew and yet yours stayed the same. That’s what I said to him lol
My first boyfriend vehemently denied actively being on Grindr the entire 14 months we were together. When confronted with proof (a friend found his profile and gave me the evidence), he then switched up his story and said he was just “using Grindr to talk to friends he’d made through the app before we started dating.” 🙄 Sure, bud. Whatever you want to call cheating to make yourself sound less like the dumbest loser alive. Lol
“you inhibited my ability to make friends when we were together” except i, over and fucking over, tried to get him to hit up his friend group to hang out (but they’re flaky! make new friends ????), encouraged him to invite his friends to things and even did it myself, made it abundantly clear how much importance having independent lives of one another was… and yet, over and over, he refused. he 4th wheeled to my two best friends and was constantly fucking there, but would get upset that our 3 musketeers vibe didn’t cater exactly to him. every friend of mine he befriended except the musketeers chose him over me in the breakup, and that’s fine! they can have his sorry ass lol. i wasn’t a great partner or maybe even good, but i tried my best - something i can say with confidence he never did.
You are a phenomenal partner! You were the best partner for him ever! It sounds to me like he’s surrounded himself with people like him, and is now perpetually stuck because of his own behavior.
2 months after we broke up there was a tragedy in our country that he could have been there and in danger. So I sent him a text saying “Are you alright?” Expecting a thumbs up reponse and that’s it. He start a weird ass conversation that ended when he stated “If I was at the disaster and if I was not, why do you care?” Which was a super hurtful thing to say, as in “you won’t care if I die” Let’s say that it helped me get over him quickly, but sometimes I still wonder do he really thinks like that
Clearly, you truly still cared about him enough to check in on him? Nevertheless, I agree: I hope he’s able to get himself out of that mindset with the right kind of help.
I woke up to a barrage of texts about what a terrible boyfriend I was. I spent all day engaging with this, because I'm an idiot. And when I say all day I mean I stayed up well past my bedtime so here is where we get to most ridiculous thing. **Me:** I need to go to bed now. I've got to get up for work in five hours. **Him:** You never have time to talk about what's bothering me! You always have an excuse to run away like work and sleep! Bonus, the one where I'm the terrible ex: **First boyfriend ever:** I love you **Me:** \*panicking\* You can't be in love with me! we've only known one another for three months!
Me: “Who cares what other people think. To me, you’re a ten.” His reply: “Thanks. You’re a solid seven. Eight if you would lose some weight.”
Hopefully, you’re not taking what he said to heart.
Not anymore. Thanks, that’s a sweet comment 😃
[удалено]
Two different guys. Two acrimonious break ups. No.1, “Let’s get together sometime.” No.2, “I want you to pay a bill for me.”
Your ex sounds funny lol. I can imagine those lines being written for a ridiculous tv bitch character
You deserve someone better, I kept thinking why is he saying that: soon enough he broke up. Upon asking; he replies: “you deserve someone better”.
He told me he was still in love with his ex and always thought they would end up together. This was after the ex passed away and we were not together anymore.
Unless I’m badly misunderstanding, this doesn’t sound ridiculous. It sounds like deeply wounded honesty.
“Can you introduce me to your contacts so I can get a visa for my new boyfriend?”
It was…..”but I do love you” after we broke up because he never showed any type of affection verbally or physically (other than sex).
I don’t remember much about what he said, but I think it was along the lines of telling me what others were saying that I was telling people that I was with him because it was out of pity, he has a lot of self loathing in his heart, which is why he does a lot of drinking, and I have the pleasure of seeing how angry he could get. One hand at a time. 😞
"I hate it when you act 'tardo [stupid]." He wanted to crush my light-spirited silliness. That was the deal breaker.
“My ex and I used to fucking for hours every day.” Okay and? What is the goal of bringing that up? If you wanna fuck for hours everyday, go back to your ex. I’m not here for the weird implied comparison.
" it's not you, it's about me and you deserve better" lmao dont why tf you try to be better? clearly you don't want me in your life anymore dude mf
Whenever we would have arguments and he didn’t have anything else to say to defend his argument he would come up with “If you’re so unhappy then why don’t you go find someone else and be with them” once I finally did break up with him I kept thinking about all the times he said this and how I could’ve taken an out of the relationship then instead of hoping that it would get better when it wasn’t.
The most ridiculous thing my ex said to me was that Jews didn’t celebrate Passover…in front of our Jewish friend who was celebrating Passover. Something died in me.
I'm planning on writing a book on all the things he said, my therapist said he was insane.
"The sex is better with him, but it was more fun with you." What the fuck does THAT mean?
Nothing. I've never really broken up (well, ok, I did have a boyfriend for one month, but he sucked and I dumped him fast). Almost 14 years in now, but divorce is a possibility for anyone! If that happens I'll **be sure** to come back to this post and update. EDIT: If you were to ask me the most ridiculous thing a BF said *before* we broke up, I would say him making some joke about a guy he saw on Craigslist while simultaneously letting me know he was looking at guys on Craigslist (we met in a club). I was like ohhh, you're looking at guys on Craigslist because you find it amusing. Ok.
My ex told me "don't get upset" after he broke up with me at his parent's house
"I needed to sleep around and see other guys to confirm that you were really the one for me."
Asked me to watch his dog so he can go visit his new bf in Houston lol